What Are The Marks of a Godly Woman

Date: May 10, 2026
Series: Stand Alone Message
Passage: Proverbs 31:10-31
Preacher: Pastor Sammy Rodriguez

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Good morning, church. How are you doing today? Happy Mother's Day. If you would open your Bibles to the book of Proverbs, some of you may be surprised by that. We had been going through James verse by verse, but on this Mother's Day special occasion, we're going to go back to the book of Proverbs into chapter 31. Proverbs chapter 31. You know, a godly woman and a godly mother has the power to change a life. You know, I can think of three uh women in my life. I I would not be here today if it wasn't for my grandmother. Who prayed for me, who when my my father and my mother, who when they were dating, weren't with the Lord at all, my grandmother began to share the gospel with my uh my mom, and my mom responded to her if you share the gospel with me one more time, I'm gonna leave your son. And my grandmother just continued to fervently pray for them and be a witness to them. You know, I think of my own mother. I I would not be standing here today preaching the word of God if it wasn't for my mother. If it wasn't for the memories of me coming down the stairs early in the morning and seeing her sitting by the window on the couch with a Bible open, her devotional open with a cup of coffee, spending time with the Lord Jesus, not only preaching the gospel, but living it out. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for my wife, who is a patient with me, who grounds me in the Lord, who cares for me and my family. You know, today's a special day. It's the first uh official Mother's Day that uh my wife is celebrating. And so it's an honor, it's a privilege to see my wife just step into this role and do so well at it. But the life of a godly woman shapes lives, families, churches, communities, and ultimately the world. But in our day and age, we don't really know what a woman is, let alone what a godly woman does. And so what we need to hear is not the fleeting cultural expectations of the identity and role of a woman, but a biblical anchor of what a godly woman looks like. What does that actually look like? Why? Because for the woman in here today, God needs you. And there's this lie that the women are just on the sidelines in the work of God's kingdom, and it's not true. You make an impact in the lives of your families, in the lives of the church, and in the lives of the community. So in Proverbs 31, in light of this Mother's Day, we see words of a mother given to her son. And so the question the text is going to answer today is what are the marks of a godly woman? What are the marks or the characteristics of a godly woman? And so let's stand in honor and reverence of the word of God, coming expectant and hungry to receive God's word. We're going to be looking at verse 10 through 31, but for our reading portion right now, we're just going to be reading verses 25 through 31. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many women have done exc excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Let's pray. Dear Jesus, I pray for your spirit now to come into this place and to empower me to speak the word as I ought. I need your help desperately, Lord God. So I pray that right now. I and I need your help for the sake of the listeners. We all need your help that your spirit would enlighten us and help us to understand the word, but also to apply it. Lord God, so we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen. Before we dive into our first verse in verse 10, I want to talk about two things. First, the tension of the day, and then the tension of the passage. First, the tension of the day, Mother's Day. Mother's Day is a is it's a great celebration and recognition of the mother figures in our lives, a day to show appreciation and honor, but it's also a day for some of us, a reminder of our loss. Maybe the loss of a mother who no longer is here with us. Maybe the loss of never having a godly mother or a motherly figure in your life. Maybe the loss of the ability or opportunity to be a mother, maybe the loss of a child. And before we continue in our text, I just want to take time to recognize that and to let you know that you are seen and loved by us in the church, but you are seen and loved more importantly by God. That yes, this is a day of celebration, but it's also a day that bears some hurt. And God is here and he is with us. That's the tension of the day, the tension of the passage. Daniel and Jonathan Aiken writing in their commentary on the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, they open up the chapter with these words. She has haunted and terrified women all over the world for 3,000 years. What does this mean? That creates this high expectation of what a woman is to be, that it often creates haunting, unrealistic expectations. You know, Pastor Edgar, our lead pastor over in the Lutz campus in preparation for this message, he bumped into one of the godly ladies in our church and was talking about what he was going to preach from Proverbs 31, and the woman said, Oh no. Oh no. Why? She says, I try hard, but almost every day I feel like I'm failing as a woman. That when I go to Proverbs 31 as this example, it feels like a checklist, a to-do list that I often fail. These unrealistic expectations. And the hope today, as we walk through this passage, the call is not perfection. The call is a direction. It's a direction that it's not these impossible tasks, this ideal that we cannot live by, this ideal, but something that we strive by faith to become through the grace of God. The other reason that's important to understand, to help us understand the attention of this passage is when we understand the context of this chapter. It will help us know why this woman is described in this incredible way. So just verse one, I want us to look at that, and you can look in your Bibles in chapter 31. It says the words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him. Who is this king Lemuel? Right? There's no king in the Bible that we see in history named Lemuel. There's no other place in the Bible that this name even shows up. So some people would say this may be a pseudonym, a pen name for Solomon, because this name Lemuel refers or means belonging to God, but there's no clear evidence. But I want you to notice here in verse 1 the context that this is not the words of a King Lemuel writing of this ideal woman. This is the words of King Lemuel's mother. And Lemuel is simply recalling and writing down his mother's words. So Proverbs 31 is not the words of a man speaking of an idealistic woman, but the words of a tender mother to her son to pursue and find the woman who would bless her son. This makes sense, right? I want you to think about this. The mothers here in this room. Maybe if you have a son. And I asked you to describe the woman that you would want your son to marry. You'd have a pretty extensive list, some high expectations of what you would want that woman to be like. To be loving, caring, charitable, all these characteristics, that is exactly what King Lemuel's mother is doing, is describing the ideal woman for her son. He's saying this is the woman you need to look for and find. So the question we go to, what are the markers of a godly woman? That's that question. And before we jump into this, it's important to see here in verses 1 through 10, actually, that verses 2 through 9, Lemuel's mother gives two warnings. One, there's a warning of women, and then a warning of drinking. And notice that before it talks about the pursuit and finding of what this woman will look like, there's a call for the man, King Lemuel, to live righteously as well. And that order isn't a coincidence. Right? Before, for this is for the single men in here, right? Before we can seek and find the godly woman, the righteous woman God has for us, we need to live righteously. That order is not a coincidence. There's this call for the king to live righteously before he hears the description of a godly woman. So let's jump in. Verse 10. And then the first point here of what are the markers, what's the mark of a godly woman is, first point, a worthy woman. A worthy woman. We see it there in verse 10. An excellent wife who can find. She is far more precious than jewels. The word here, excellence, can be translated as strong, wealthy, able, valiant. It was a Hebrew word that can be used for generals or valiant soldiers. This excellent woman, what this word is showing is she was capable. And this capable woman is more valuable than precious jewels, rubies, and diamonds. And we see this woman is married in verse 11, and we see her value in her husband's trust towards her. Look at verse 11. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. He won't lack anything good because of his wife. Verse 11 should sound similar to us. It mirrors Proverbs 3:5. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. It's a husband who trusts his wife completely. Why? How can he do that? Look at verse 12. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. All of the days. So we see the trust of the husband and his wife in verse 11, but we also see the virtuous woman is given praise by her whole family. Look down at verse 28 and 29. It says, Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her. Look at the praise of her husband. Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. We see she is worthy of praise. We see that in verse 31, too, in the last verse. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates. She is worthy of praise. Here's a practical point for all of us on this Mother's Day that we should praise our mothers. We should thank our mothers and our wives. I think of, you know, you've seen this, the big football player. Right? 6'3, a linebacker, maybe they made a great tackle or a running back or anyone in sports, a baseball player, and they get in front of the camera, and sometimes what's the first thing they'll say, thanks, Mom. Thanks, mama. See this big 6'3, you know, two over 300 pounds almost. And the first thing they'll say is, thanks, Mom. Why? And I wouldn't be here without you. I wouldn't be here if you didn't sacrifice to, even though we can afford college, that you worked. I couldn't be here if you didn't sacrifice in taking us to the practices, to the games for being there, saying, thanks, mother. I want you to think. I'd say if tomorrow something tragic happened to your mother. And in a week's time there would be a funeral. And you were gonna get up and share about your life the life your mother lived, all you were thankful for. What I encourage you today is don't leave those words left unsaid. That today you would tell them how much you love and appreciate them while they're here with us. Like care and what giving worthiness, honor, and thanksgiving. And this is something oftentimes I'm not the best at. We're called as men. Why do the children do it? We can see the children do it as they rise up, call her blessed, because we see it in response to the husband, the father, who's praising his wife. This is a responsibility of us to call up and call out and give honor and thanks to mothers and women in our lives and wives. So the first marker we see a worthy woman, a worthy woman of praise to be honored. And secondly, what are the markers of a godly woman? Is a working woman. A working woman. I'll explain what that means, but let's read this in the text, verses 13 through 19. It says she seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant, and she brings her food from afar. She rises while while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and portion for her maidens. She is considered a a field, she considers a field and buys it. With the fruits of her hand she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arm strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. Verse 24. If you go down, it says this, she makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. So not only is this virtuous woman a wife and a mother, but she was a skilled worker. Don't mind my daughter, she's saying amen to all these things that are describing her mother, so she's in agreement with the text. But she was a skilled worker. According to the text, she was a manufacturer, an importer, a farmer, a seamstress, a merchant, a manager, a realtor. And notice that how many times it speaks of her hands. Six times in this passage. Verse 16, with the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. Her hands in verse 20 reach out to the poor and she extends her hands to the needy. Verse 31, give her of the fruit of her hands. Proverbs 31 is a woman who is a skilled worker. Sometimes there's tension, though, as it relates to maybe our lives or the expectations women have on themselves in this text. On one side, some in the world tell women her value is in her work, her career, and independence. On the other side, in some religious circles, suggest a woman's value is only found in the four walls of the home. And sometimes some of you can be caught in the middle of these expectations. Exhausted by the pool of the world's expectations or the pool of others and what you should be and not be, what you should do and not do. And it's only gotten worse with social media. Scrolling and seeing content about being a trad wife or a boss babe, right? But we see just both sides of these this pooling. But the the relief I want to give today of these expectations that bondage us is the goal to be a godly woman. And that can look like being skilled in the working world or staying at home or a variation of both. A woman does not need to sacrifice her gifts or abilities to only do work in the home. But a woman must also not sacrifice her family and privilege and the role she has of raising her children for the sake of work. And here's the thing: in today's culture, it's become a privilege to stay at home full time and not have to work. I mean, just due to the cost of living. It's not the norm. But a godly woman is a woman who works hard, whatever that looks like, whether be in the home or out in the workforce, or both. But it just depends on the context. We're all called to different situations, different circumstances, different families, different giftings, different callings. But the one call is the same in the text, and the call is to be godly. The call is to work hard and what God has put before us. Being a mother is hard work. Can I get amen from the women in here? I mean, from the first nine months is hard work. You are creating and sustaining life within your body. And then at the end of those nine months is pushing out that life. And that's hard work. But then maybe the hardest work of all is that they were mostly safe inside of the womb, and now they're in the dangers of the outside world. And now the hardest work of raising a child. In the right way. It's hard work. A godly mother works hard. And here's the thing, there are some of you in here who raised and built a family on your own. With a husband who passed, or a partner who walked away and walked out. Or maybe you were raised by a mother in that circumstance. And you understand all too well what it looks like for a mother to work hard. For a mother to work hard. And for those of you, maybe you're walking through that now still and raising children on your own. We want to be a church to help you, to come alongside you and raising your children right before the Lord. That yes, the primary responsibility of discipling a child is the parents, but also it's the role of the church to come alongside and to support and to help. And those who have gone through that raising a child on your own, maybe with children who have grown now. God saw and he sees your effort. And your labor is not in vain. And your children have a heavenly Father who knows them and loves them and will take care of them. What are the markers of a godly woman, a worthy woman, a working woman? And third, a warm-hearted woman. A warm-hearted woman. We see this first in verse 12, and how the woman treats her husband. She does him good and not harm. All the days of her life. Verse 20 and 21, it says, She opens her hand to the poor and she reaches out her hands to the needy. She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. We see the warm-heartedness and the care for the home. She makes sure in the winter times that the family is well dressed and taken care of. I mean, some of us can think about us going outside in the winter time, and our mother said, You don't leave the house without that jacket. And caring and showing love. But not only caring for the home, but those potentially with no house at all. For the poor. Then her eyes are not just in the needs of her house, but the needs of the community. Shows a warm-heartedness, compassion. Verse 26. It says she opens her mouth with wisdom. And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She speaks in wisdom, but in the wisdom she speaks, it's what? Covered in kindness. You can say wise words with the wrong tone. You can speak truth that tears down and doesn't build up, but her kindness is what? It's covered. Her tongue is covered with that kindness. Verse 27, it says, She looks well to the ways of her household. She overwatches, she oversees the household. And does not eat the bread of idleness. What? She's hard working. A godly woman is what? Warm-hearted. We see a kindness and compassion. Fourthly, is this what are the marks of a godly woman? Is a wealthy woman. What do I mean by that? A wealthy woman. First, she's wealthy in resources. She is able to buy property. She has a business that she's running. She has enough to care for her family and to give to the poor. We see in verse 22, she makes bed coverings for health herself. Her clothing is fine, linen and purple. Right? But here's the thing: she's not just wealthy in resources. That's the main point I want to say here is that she's also wealthy spiritually. She's wealthy familiar in her family. Right? Look at verse 28-29. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her. A woman, more than any treasure in the world, desires praise from her family. And if she has that, she's considered wealthy. Right? That's all she wants. Here's the last point, the fifth one. What are the markers of a godly woman? The marks, the last one is a wise woman. Verse 26. It says she opens her mouth with wisdom. And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue, like we saw earlier. But this word wisdom, literally in Hebrew, is the word Torah. It's the word of God. That in her mouth she speaks the word of God. That the word of God is in her heart and in her mind and that it overflows out of her mouth. If we are called to be godly, you're called to be a godly woman, it's to know the word, to be in the word of God, and to speak it. I think of my grandmother who read the Bible, who loved the word of God. That in her final days I would come and visit her and read the best I can in Spanish, her favorite passages of Scripture. And although she was fading in her memory for a lot of things, she knew the word. And we begin reciting it with me in Spanish. Wisdom comes from the word, but we see it in verse 30. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. What is this? This is the main idea of Proverbs. We went over this. Right, Proverbs chapter 1, verse 7. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom and discipline. Here we again we see this summary that wisdom begins with the heart posture of living our lives in light of who God is. And I'm just here, I want to relieve so many of the women in here who feel torn by the pressures of the world and expectations that feel like chains. That you don't have to live for the expectations of others, but you can live for God and not fear the expectations of others, but only fearing God. And when a woman does this, it overflows in her life. This is all the things that we've seen is an overflow of fear in God. We saw in verse 25, strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. Why can she laugh? Because she doesn't fear the future. She only fears the Lord. She knows her, she trusts the Lord. It's secure in the Lord's hand. That she's not worried about a month from now, a year from now, because she trusts the Lord. The godly woman lives a worthy life because she fears the Lord. The godly woman works hard because she fears the Lord. The godly woman is warm-hearted because she fears the Lord. The godly woman has wealth because she fears the Lord. The godly woman is wise because she fears the Lord. Like I said, here's what can happen, though. It feels like a list that we fail in. But here's the hope of the gospel. The gospel is not being changed by doing a bunch of things, doing a bunch of tasks. We cannot do it. We cannot be holy as God calls us to be holy. But because of Christ, because of Jesus Christ's finished work on the cross, through his grace, he can transform us. That when we fail, he's there to lift us up. Forgive us and make us new in him. I close with the final verse, verse 31. It says, give her of the fruit of her hands. And let her works praise her in the gates. It says, all the works of her labor, give her the fruit she deserves. All the effort she's put, give her the praise she deserves. Here's what I want to just speak in this moment over the mothers here. There will be times your children forget all you've done. There'll be times where you feel like your work from your husband is unseen. Or those around you. And if they don't give you praise, what this text is saying is God sees your work. And he will praise you. He will lift you up. Can I see that flower? I'm not, I'm gonna give it back to my wife. I'm not stealing it from her. You see, this flower, it's here because someone planted it. They planted a seed. And sometimes we will plant seeds that we will never see grow. There are many of you in here who you have, as mothers, planted seeds. You've been praying and waiting. That you would be able to see the fruit of your labor and the lives of your family and the lives of your children. I want to share a story that kind of exemplifies this. See, there was a godly woman, this was in the true story in the 1800s, of this godly woman who would try to raise her kid rightly, preach the gospel to this young boy, exemplify it. But the age of six, her son being six years old, she passed away. And she had prayed that this boy would become a minister. And she passed away before she can see what would happen. Well, this boy would grow up bitter, that his mom had passed away, his dad had left, and he went out to live a life out at sea. He became rebellious towards God. And at the age of 20, he was a captain of a ship that would capture slaves in Africa and bring them to the British colonies. If you read his autobiography of this man's life, the things that he did and saw were extremely dark and horrific. Not just trafficking men, but children and women. And at the at the age of 25, there was a storm while they were on the boat. And he was so overwhelmed by the guilt and shame of what he did. And he cried out to the Lord, and he he writes this in his story that when he was crying out in repentance, that he remembered the words of his mother. When he was only five years old, the words of his mother preaching the gospel to him. And in that moment, in that night in the storm, he gave his life to Jesus. And this man who gave his life to Jesus, his name is John Newton. And he became a minister, and he became a key figure in actually fighting and abolishing slavery. And he wrote one of the most famous songs in all the world. Amazing Grace. How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. See, it was the faithfulness of a mother who didn't see the growth of that seed. She didn't see it on that side of eternity. What her words would do, how the Lord would answer her prayers. But it was the faithfulness of a mother who lived the gospel, who preached the gospel, that this man was changed, who also changed a culture. And I just want to encourage the mothers in here. Who you have planted seeds and you have been planting, and you feel like you haven't seen it, you haven't heard the praise for it. God sees you. Continue faithfully living out the gospel for his sake. Let's pray, dear Jesus. We pray for all the seeds planted. We think about why some of us are here. Because there were those before us, women in our lives who planted seeds of the gospel. Grandmothers and mothers and aunts who pray for us. God, thank you for answering their prayers. But God, we pray for our now all the prayers, all the seeds, all the prodigal sons and daughters. Would you bring them home? God, thank you for the gospel. Thank you that although we fall short in our own expectations and the expectations of the world, God, you see us as righteous and loved because of the blood of your son. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's stand together. This is a moment we can respond to the gospel. Maybe you don't know of this amazing grace. And you've been living like John Newton in your own way, running from God. Maybe you feel like you're in a storm. You can come and experience the grace of God today. You can come down. And we can share what it means to surrender to Jesus Christ. Or maybe you need prayer. Maybe you're in here, you you know the Lord, you follow the Lord, but you need prayer for something. Maybe it's for a seed. Maybe it's for a son, a daughter, maybe it's for someone you've lost and you're hurting. And you just need to calm down. I need prayer. You can calm down.