I Started Asking for What I Want… and Everything Changed

In this episode, I’m talking about something that I didn’t even realize was a pattern in my life until I really sat with it — a lot of the opportunities I’ve had came from simply asking.

Not waiting. Not hoping. Not being chosen.

Just asking.

We don’t talk enough about how powerful that actually is. So many of us hold ourselves back because we’re afraid of hearing “no,” or we don’t want to come off the wrong way, or we feel like we’re not ready yet.

But the truth is… you’re already at no if you never ask.

In this episode, I open up about moments in my life where speaking up and going after what I wanted created opportunities I wouldn’t have had otherwise. And I talk about the mindset shift that helped me stop waiting and start advocating for myself.

This one is for anyone who’s been sitting on something — an idea, an opportunity, or a conversation — and just needs that push to go for it.

Transcript

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You're already a no if you never ask. And I think a lot of us are waiting around to be chosen, but in reality, all we have to do is ask for what we want. Hey girls, and welcome back to the CEO of Me. I am so happy that you're here with me. This is a podcast where we are learning to be women in charge of our lives, our decisions, and most importantly, our future. And in today's episode, we're talking about something that was a pattern in my life that I literally didn't really notice until now. Let's talk about it. When I look back at my life, my career through college, after college, all of that, even like middle school, high school, I realized there was a lot of things that I wanted and I didn't feel like I got chosen for it at first. So I just went to go ask for it. Especially opportunities that I really, really wanted. I didn't just wait for them. I didn't wait for them to fall in my lap. I didn't wait for luck to strike. I didn't wait for any of that. I went to just go ask for it. One that really stood out to me was when I was moving from UNR to UNLV during my undergrad, and I had to start signing up for internships. And it was my responsibility to go find an internship. I was looking at the internships that they gave through the university, and I was like, uh, yeah, no, these are these are not for me. So I went to go find one and I bugged Caesars Palace Entertainment. I don't know why back then I wanted to work for Caesars Palace. I can't remember what that was, but I really wanted to work in their PR department. And they weren't accepting any more applications. I specifically remember looking online and they were like, we are not accepting any more applications. We have fulfilled all of the applications. And in my eyes, I was like, no, you haven't. So I applied, even though it said not to, and I found the PR director or manager. I don't know who it was back then. I think it was the manager. I found her on LinkedIn, found her email, bugged her, emailed her every other day, like, hey, just letting you know, here's my resume. I'm really excited to work with Caesars Palace, whatever the email was, but I asked for it. I bugged her. Even though initially looking at the website, they said that they weren't looking for internships. That did not stop me. I knew that that's where I wanted to do my internship because I knew it was gonna look good on my resume. So I just bugged her, emailed, called, LinkedIn, all of the things. And guess what? I got an interview and I got the internship. And one of the biggest things that they said stood out to them during the interview and during this whole process of me bugging them was that I did not take no for an answer. And they was like, that is who we want on our team. And I was like, I know you want me on your team. So hire me. And so I got this incredible internship that was absolutely insane because it was 8 to 5 p.m. Unpaid. Back in the day, like there was not a lot of paid internships. It in fact it just wasn't a thing at all. So for me to get this by just asking and bugging her, that's really stood out to me. And I don't remember it being uncomfortable. I feel like a lot of people don't ask for things because it's uncomfortable and they're just like, oh, what if they say no? Or shouldn't I be asked to do this or shouldn't I be invited? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't remember it being uncomfortable. I just remember feeling like this is what I want, so I'm going to do it. Another time I could think of there was this really popular lash podcast that I really wanted to be on. I had, I don't even know if I volunteered at their lash conference before, but I had been to the conference before, and I loved what they were doing. I love the message that they were putting out there. I loved the couple that was running this podcast, and they had some really big people on their podcast. So in my head, I was like, yeah, there's no way they're gonna invite me. So let me just ask. I asked, did whatever they needed me to do. I think I just had to submit a bio, and I think that was it. But I asked for it, and I got it. I was a guest on one of the top lash podcasts out there just by asking. They didn't invite me, they didn't look at my page, like, oh, we really want you on our podcast. None of that. I literally asked and it worked out. And that was another time in my life that I vividly remember just going out and asking for something that I wanted. And it felt so powerful to just ask for something and then to be given it just because you asked, it honestly blew my mind, and I was like, wait a second. Is this what you need to do to get what you want? Sometimes, yeah, yeah, do. This became even more prominent when I started working for myself, doing contract work, and asking people, hey, do you need help with your social media? I can run your social media. Do you need help with marketing? I can do this, I can do this, I can do that. All these different things. I was just asking businesses if they needed help, and they definitely needed help. So me asking just made their lives a lot easier. Instead of having to go out and find someone, I was this hungry person just asking you, do you need help? And they would be like, Yeah, when can you start? Bananas. I completely understand why people don't ask for what they want, especially career-wise. I definitely get it on the relationship sense, but we're staying on the career path right now. We're talking about career-wise. I understand why people don't ask in their career for what they want. We're afraid of no. We're afraid of rejection and we're afraid of looking stupid. That's a lot of reasons why people do not ask for what they want in their career. But here's the the truth: it's it's not our it's not gonna be painful, okay? No does not mean that the door is completely closed, or no doesn't mean that you're not good enough or you weren't the right fit, or all the things that you could think of. No doesn't mean that. No is always a redirection. And a no from somewhere doesn't change who you are, it doesn't change your position, it doesn't change your value at all. It's just a redirection. And sometimes no just means not right now. So try again later. There are so many opportunities that I asked for that it was a no at first, but that following year when I would ask again, there was like, oh, you know what? Actually, yes, you would be a good fit. So no is not a no, it could just be a just not now. The biggest thing is not allowing no's to stop you from asking again or stop you from asking in the future for another opportunity or something else. Don't allow the no's to just stop you because they're meant to just give you another hurdle to just climb over. The point is, you will definitely have a no if you never ask. Close mouths don't get fed. We've all heard that saying before, and it is very true. All you have to do is ask. This thought process of just asking and realizing what has happened on the other side of asking really shifted my mindset. It made me think, what's the worst that can happen? And now I say that all the time when I'm talking to people and they're like, no, I can't ask, I don't want to ask. And all I'm saying is, like, what's the worst that can happen? A no isn't even the worst that could happen. Instead, you can start thinking, what would happen if I asked for this and I actually got it? What would happen? Being the CEO of your life means you stop waiting to be chosen. Instead, you go out and you choose who you want, who you want in your life, who you want to work with, how you want your life to be. That is what being the CEO of your own life is. It means you advocate for yourself, it means opening up your mouth, even if your voice shakes a little bit and you're nervous. That is what being the CEO of your own life is putting your nervousness or your shyness, all of that aside, and standing up for yourself in your future. So if you've been sitting on something, whether it's an idea, a conversation, you feel like you want to ask for more or you want to ask for something to be changed, this is your sign to just ask for it. In your career, ask for a raise, ask for more responsibilities, ask to be invited to a particular meeting because you know that your input is going to help move a project on. So many things you can ask for. If you're in college and you're young, ask for that internship. Find the job that you want to work for or the internship you want to work for, reach out to them and ask. You never know what people are looking for and how much work they've gone through to find someone that just isn't a right fit. You could be the perfect fit. You never know. You never know. The biggest thing with asking is to start small. You gotta get that muscle warmed up, okay? You can't just go into a workout and start lifting weights without stretching. It's the same for this. Your stretch is starting small. Seek advice, ask your colleagues, people that you trust, people that you trust, friends, family that you trust. And the biggest thing about asking for guidance and advice, make sure their life is the way that you would possibly want your life, if that makes sense. Do not ask advice from someone who does not have the same life that you want or that you're reaching for. Because that just doesn't make sense. When it comes to career-wise, I'm just talking about career, everything else, stop at it. I'm talking about career-wise. Asking people for advice when their lives don't align with where you want to go or where it currently is just doesn't make sense. So ask for advice and guidance from people you trust and people that you respect. Ask for the next opportunity to do something different in your company or do something no one wants to do in your company. Ask for that. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be pretty. All you just need is the right words and you can ask. With chat now, anything is possible. You can send emails to hundreds of people a day and ask for what you really want. Now, 100 is a lot, but that's a lot of things to want. But you want a lot, and we can we can want a lot. I want a lot, so there's nothing wrong with that. Ask for what you want and where you want to be. And like I said, that podcast earlier that I mentioned, now that podcast is on their platform. That is something that I can use to promote myself on my last page, and it just looks good. Any kind of content that works in your favor is gonna be good for you. So getting on that podcast was huge, okay? It was massive, and it made me feel so accomplished and just like strong. It made me feel really strong because I was like, all I had to do is ask for this, and I got it. That's awesome. So, once again, this is your sign. If it's something you want, do not wait to be chosen, don't wait to be invited, do not wait, just go and ask for it. Like I said, closed mouths do not get fed. I am living proof that once you open your mouth, you will get fed. Doors will start opening, relationships will start being built. All these things start happening when you go out and get what you want and not sit around and wait for someone to invite you or tell you that you need to do something. Don't wait. Time is precious and time is money. Okay. And the biggest thing about asking is it's okay if there is a no. At least you know that that is a just not right now. It could just be something later. If this episode resonated with you and you feel like you've had this like burning urge to do something or ask for something or be a part of something, this podcast is for you. And I want you to subscribe so you can stay up to date with all the fun little topics that we have coming up on the next episodes. As always, I'm so happy that you're here with me. Love on yourself, show yourself some grace, and always, always be kind to yourself. And I will see you on the next episode of CEO of me. Bye.