Tales From The Jails Podcast
Tales From the Jails breaks down prison life from inside of a prison facility. Tales from the Jails brings you exclusive interviews from those who have served time behind prison walls. The horrific details of what happens and or what could happen to those inside of the prison system. Stay Free..
Tales From The Jails Podcast
ROCSANN : TALES FROM THE JAILS LIVE!!!
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ROCSANN joins Tales From the Jails for an honest, unfiltered conversation you don’t want to miss! Braheem and Tawfiq sit down with Rocsann to discuss her story, life experiences, hard lessons, and the moments that helped shape her journey.
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What's up, everybody? Want to welcome everybody to Tells from the Jails. We're here live in Park, you would say. TNS Media Group with the team and the family. I got my counterpart, uh, Mr. Braheen Jackson here with me. We got a special guest here with us as well. Um, tell us who you are. Tell everybody who you are today.
SPEAKER_07Um, I go by Roxanne, but everybody knew me as Trap Shorty.
SPEAKER_04Trap Shorty, Roxanne, aka. Anything else?
SPEAKER_06Nah, just did.
SPEAKER_04Okay, well, you know, tell us for jails. We talk about uh, you know, jail. And not to glorify it, but to, you know, give people stories about, I mean, give the audience a uh real life stories about people who serve time in jail or had a brief stand or it was extended, it doesn't matter as far as the time you were in jail, but just to give your story out there, put it out there to the world for everybody to see, everybody to hear. And um so let's get to it. Um one thing I want to say too, another thing before we start, once again, the uh disclaimer sells from jails, we do not glorify prison in any way, shape, or form, or fashion. We are just here to spread the awareness to deter individuals from going to prison for those who are watching. And I want to know that this is not a religious podcast at all. So we're not here to uh you know we we are we're all um you know naive when it comes to you know uh knowledge. So we just want to sit up here and you know we just talk about prison. So where you from originally?
SPEAKER_07I'm from West.
SPEAKER_05Uh oh. Are you serious? I thought you was from down north.
SPEAKER_07I didn't mean to say ill, but why do people say ill you talking? I just be saying ill because like north is like it's like ill. Like I go down there and I just be like, I if I was from Philly, I would never want to move to North. It just looked dirty, like yeah.
SPEAKER_05I ain't gonna let you do that. What's up, man? She gonna get talking about north dirty. Dirty as shit.
SPEAKER_07Like, ain't the niggas dirty, the bitches be dirty, like I asked about Philly, what they gonna be saying, like north bitches be dirty and shit, and it be like you advising LeBron James and uh Jalen Brown.
SPEAKER_06Don't go to North, don't go to North.
SPEAKER_04Well, I mean to me, I I love North Philly. I'm not from North Philly, but I'm from West Philly, but I love North Philly, I love South Philly. But what what we think is the dirtiest part of Philly? Think about it though. It's north, because north is the biggest. North is the biggest you because everything dirt is a part of Philly.
SPEAKER_05What about Kenzo and all that? Kenzo, I'm not I ain't even but I look at that as north too. Yeah, because that's why I'm about to say because all that north, all that like I got my man shotty in the ground me up about Logan, the weak logan. That's north Philly. Germantown is North Philly, all that is North Philly, if you ask me. That's the geographic of North Philadelphia. Frankfurt, all that North Philadelphia. I'm giving it all to them.
SPEAKER_04And also, another thing too in jail, Germantown, uh up to what's up, go ahead and hang with North Phil, North Philadelphia.
SPEAKER_05See, in jail, they would no in jail, they still split it up. They do. They still you got Uptown, you got Frankfurt over there, you got Yamin, you mean they still split it up.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, well, Philly, we would say, um, so you would say that uh North Philly is the dirtiest part of Philadelphia.
SPEAKER_06For sure.
SPEAKER_04But it's the most uh you know ginger fired neighborhood. They they build the houses like crazy than really in more parts of North Philly than anyway.
SPEAKER_07I get it right. White people scared as hell.
SPEAKER_04So let's get to this this interview. Uh with you once again, talk about who you are with those who don't know.
SPEAKER_07Once again, Roxanne, aka trip, shooting. Okay.
SPEAKER_04So um you said you're from West Philly. What part of West Philly you from again?
SPEAKER_0660th.
SPEAKER_04Um what what's that?
SPEAKER_0760th. That's what they called it.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, it was a guy I know that um back in the day. Uh two guys in the days of uh it's a rap. Um Man Man. I can.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, no, I don't know them for the bull bub.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that was like back in the day. They seem like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they are so was it 60th and what?
SPEAKER_07Uh 60th and Webster.
SPEAKER_04Webster. Yeah. That's like a short, small block because of the name Webster.
SPEAKER_07I mean, I mean, I guess though it could be. But in West, like the blocks is wide though. So they might be a little short, but they wide, like where I was living in, they wide.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So uh for you coming up uh in uh West Philly in in the O 6-0. Um how was that for you? Like, how was your family? How was your upbringing? You had your mom, your dad? What did you have coming up?
SPEAKER_07Um, my mom, my dad, well, I grew up in West, like the O, that's what I claimed. But when I was younger, I was living on a deuce kind of like um when my mom and my dad was together. But when they split up, like I don't really count that because I ain't really like go outside. I was still like like probably like like six or something like that. So I started going outside having friends once I moved to West. But when I got to West, like I still was a little shy and I was chilling. I got three brothers too. Like, I'm the youngest of three older brothers, so I'm a little girly right now because that's what I try to become. Like, I try to like embrace my feminism now.
SPEAKER_05Like, so you're really a time boy.
SPEAKER_07I'm really a time boy for real. I really punch on shit. I really do that. I don't know if you do that.
SPEAKER_05Don't be up here sitting there acting crazy.
SPEAKER_07Because I really because you know, like the people that be trying to act like that, they're really not like that. I'm chilling like this because I know I really can get like that, and it's not it's not cool, it's not cute. I hate when I be like that. Like I hate it, like I really despise when I get like that.
SPEAKER_05How old are you?
SPEAKER_0724.
SPEAKER_0524. Oh, you young buttons spring chicken.
SPEAKER_04I love that so you would say that uh you got two different sides, man. Like, you know, I might I might say I'll punch on something, or I just might wear a dress one day, or just no, I'll punch on something in a dress. Okay, for sure. Those those fights get crazy, drastic.
SPEAKER_05Which side, which side do you like betraying though more though?
SPEAKER_07My feminine side.
SPEAKER_05You feel good when you're doing that because you looking cute as a mug up there. Yes, damn. You're doing this joke.
SPEAKER_07Okay, but do you feel better?
SPEAKER_05Do you feel better when you on your nigga shit?
SPEAKER_07No, because I feel like I just don't like the way I talk. I hate it. I be like overly aggressive. Like, I really hate it. I really love being like girly and something. I get more out of it. Like, I really like that's just yeah, just better for me.
SPEAKER_04Which one do you think would attract you like a like a like a like the kind of man you're looking for? We think will be the girly side or the or the or the or the rough side.
SPEAKER_07Of course, the girly side, because like when I get aggressive, like some guys like it too, but some of those guys, they might be like, I ain't gonna say bitches, but they not really like so you'll beat your husband up or something like that.
SPEAKER_04I don't want to be my husband, but you would if you you would try.
SPEAKER_07Sometimes you gotta you gotta be a little stern within it.
SPEAKER_05That's your type of talk.
SPEAKER_06You need somebody to be stern, but you might sometimes you might have to just put your foot down, but you don't gotta like put your foot on them.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but you know, so coming up as a kid, you got three older brothers. How old is your brothers?
SPEAKER_07Um, my oldest brother, he got killed at 30.
SPEAKER_04I'm sorry to hit that.
SPEAKER_07Um, yeah, we live and we learn, shit happens.
SPEAKER_06I ain't gonna lie, unfortunately.
SPEAKER_07Like, and it's crazy because like when people say shit like that, like I don't know. Like, I smile because I don't really be like, I don't really like be mad about it. Cause like I know my brother was a good person. He did his thing, like I don't know. Like, I just felt like he cooled him. Like, he was always stressing and shit anyway. Like, so I don't really be like sorry enough.
SPEAKER_04How long ago was he got killed?
SPEAKER_06It was probably like what was it, 2021?
SPEAKER_04How did he get killed?
SPEAKER_07I mean he got shot in his chest. Wow, I ain't gonna lie, he was doing some shit he shouldn't have been doing, and I can only say that because that's my brother. Can't nobody talk about that situation or talk about my brother, like how I do it because that's my brother. But my brother was wrong.
SPEAKER_03What did he do?
SPEAKER_07He was cheating on this big man, fucking with a bitch from the block, bitch. She getting into some family shit, arguing with females and all that. He trying to be kept and save a bitch trying to break it up and all that nigga come out the woodworks. My brother was a big strong man, like he was very tall. He played football, villain over, like TV and all that.
SPEAKER_03What's his name?
SPEAKER_07Christopher Johnson.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_07So he was um, he just was like very like stocky, and all that. You know, like little niggas, they don't play all that stocky nigga shit. They just usually real quick. Yeah, so that's basically what happened. Like, my brother, like he talked too much too. Like, like they just was thinking, like, my brother went to jail a little bit too. Sometimes niggas that go to jail and when they come home, they be thinking it's the same way. Like when they when they come home, like and they be thinking they can still be funny as well.
SPEAKER_05I don't think I don't think it's the same way. I just know that you gotta knock the ass out real fast, don't play with them.
SPEAKER_07You could like you just gotta tell niggas like that, came home from jail, like bro, it's not 2016 nowhere, brother. Like, shit changed, niggas is not rumbling you no more first. Like, niggas is definitely pulling out your shirt first if you look too big. They don't want to get embarrassed in front of their family in front of the bitches and all that stuff. Like, I love my brother, but he should have gone home. Like, you shouldn't have never been cheating, you should have been mind of your fucking business, and you shouldn't have been no captain saved, bitch. Like, I would have said about any nigga, I'm not gonna dispare a situation because that's my brother.
SPEAKER_04Well, but I'm saying you gotta stand still the effect it may have had on your on your mom, though.
SPEAKER_07On my mom, yeah, for sure. I love my mom. Like, I don't have no children, but she did, and that was her first, too. I'm pretty sure that was a lot for her. Like, I heard my mom scream when I was in the hospital. Because they had to go uh take it out to go identify the body and all that. Like, she knew it was my brother, but like I guess she still wanted to see him just for her own closure. My mom can't roll out in the wheelchair because she wasn't able to stand it after she seen my brother go and I can understand that. I can understand my mom anger and all that, but I still can't understand because I ain't never had no child before.
SPEAKER_04I respect that. Wow. And um has your mother, I mean, I know you can never uh get over losing the child. Um, has she progressed in the right direction as far as you know dealing with it?
SPEAKER_07My mom, like my mom is she's amazing, but I feel like sometimes she can be a little negative-minded with shit. She would say, like, nah, I'm a realist. And to me, I just be like, I'd be like, I'm having you on helicopter view. Like, let's think about other ways we can think about this one situation. Like, everybody don't think the same about this one situation. She'd be like, No, it's this one situation, this is the only way to think about it, and this is it. I don't think like that.
SPEAKER_05So, like, yeah, I'm like that with you.
SPEAKER_07To me, that's like negative. So, like, I don't think it just came from my brother's passing. I feel like it just made it worse, it just intensified it. And me and her are like uh a very angry person, and I try to like sympathize with it, but I just can't like fathom like somebody being because I I lost my brother too. You lost your son, but then I lost my brother. Like, that was my big brother. So, like, you're not the only person that hurt. So, like, when you be mean to somebody and all that, like, especially when you be grieving, it's only but so long a person can be like, all right, I'm gonna tolerate it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so um your brother passing, and you had two other brothers, right? How they doing?
SPEAKER_07My other brother, like he like from what I seen, like I the only way I seen him is if I ride down the block, see him on the corner and some shit like that. Like, last time I seen him, I started crying.
SPEAKER_03Like, why was wrong with him?
SPEAKER_07Um like me as a as the youngest, as the little sister, I looked at my brothers like they were superheroes growing up. So I seen they just I just seen them fall. My brothers, my second brother, he was really the the the the problem child for real. So he went to jail and was doing that K2 shit. When he came home, we was living in Canyon, we was living in a like we was living like upper derby, like type shit. So when he came home, he had like this little bag of weed. I'm thinking it's weed. I'm like, bro, let me smoke with you. Nigga, not like trying to let me smoke with him. I'm like, bro, you want some weird shit. We always smoke together. Like I come I each time you go in the house, I go in the crib, I come back out like two minutes later, the nigga slumped over. Like that was my first time seeing that that wasn't weed. So after that, I start seeing like my brother start having seizures and shit like that. That was the first time like the downfall started happening with my brother, and I started seeing my brother was no longer like a superman type shit. So the K2 made him start having seizures and all that. My brother didn't like taking pills, he wanted to be defiant. And he in his mind, he still, like I said, like them jail niggas, like they go to jail and still come home and think it's that same thing. That's my brother, like, bro. It's not the same thing when you come home from jail. He came home from jail thinking like he can get big with niggas and all that. Like, my brother tore his ass out the frame. My um, the third brother, my tore his ass out the frame, like didn't want to tore his ass upside down because he thinking he's tough. My brother trying to spare him because we know he be having seizures and all that. We ain't trying to let that go. Like, we don't want to hurt you. But when I see him outside, like the niggas that he be wanna be around and you want to be hyped with and dickied and all that, they'll let you have a seizure right here. Let you die for real. Like, niggas ain't gonna tell you like I be. I only seen him like probably like one time in probably like the last six months. And when I seen him, he just didn't sound the same. Like I knew my brother. Nigga just didn't sound right like you still love him though, right? For sure. Like I got love for him, but I don't like I hate him though.
SPEAKER_04Why?
SPEAKER_07Because the shit that he did to my family, I don't fuck with. Like in real life, I don't fuck with like what did he do?
SPEAKER_04Like what was so bad about what he do what did he do?
SPEAKER_07Like held a gun to my mom's face, stole my mom money, phone, still and shit from my brother, you know what I'm saying? I ain't gonna say too much, but you just touching family members type shit. Like what you mean?
SPEAKER_04Like touching family members?
SPEAKER_07Touching family members in a way where you know that it's not, it's not, it shouldn't be approved. You know that you doing it behind closed doors because you know you're not supposed to be doing it.
SPEAKER_04Like what do you mean by that? Like what is that what touching family members like?
SPEAKER_07Inappropriately, like touching younger siblings, touching, you mean touching younger kids. Like, that's what I'm saying. Like in that type of aspect. And I didn't know it was like that until the family member grew up and was able to tell me, like, felt comfortable enough to tell me. I'm like, damn.
SPEAKER_04Oh, was this when it happened she when it happened to me?
SPEAKER_07Well, it happened probably like last year. I'm gonna keep it a being.
SPEAKER_04How old is she? I don't want to say her name, but she she she under 26.
SPEAKER_0726 now. So my my brother is like 32.
SPEAKER_04But it happen happened, it happened to her while she's an adult.
SPEAKER_07When she was younger.
SPEAKER_04Well like oh, a little small kid.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, when she was younger. So I'ma say she. She. My brother type shit, but yeah.
SPEAKER_03But uh, oh wow.
SPEAKER_07If she grew up type shit, and was like, yeah, this would happen, da da, crying and all that and all that. Man, fuck, I ain't gonna spare that shit. That shit wrong regardless. It was my brother. Nigga, it was touching my brother and all that and all that. Like, because like I feel that shit don't even sit right with me. I feel like I'm trying to protect him saying a little bit of it. Like, we gonna throw that shit all the way under the bus. Let's do it. Even me, fuck it. If we're gonna talk about it, let's talk about it. Fuck it. Like, you were touching my brother, and you shouldn't have been touching my brother, and my my brother finally got the chance to grow up and feel confident. Because my brother always had insecurity problems, men really behaving insecurity problems. And I didn't know that until my brother was old enough to tell me. Because my brother, the quiet one out of all of us. Like, I'm like the one that's going, y'all think I'm quiet now because it ain't the time to be like that. It's a whole bunch of men in here. What do I need to be in an uproar about? So I'ma be in my feminine era right now, but my family, when they look at me, they look at me like I'm oh, I'm just overly aggressive. Like I'm I be drawn, like I be snapping, like I be like, yeah, like that type of time. So like me just coming from West, coming from Philly, my brother being killed, um, my second brother just running the streets, being basically homeless, you know what I'm saying, not setting a good representation for uh the family, for himself, for his children and shit like that. Like that shit burned me out. The only keep it being the only good one in the family is my third brother. Like, I'm gonna keep it being like he's better than all of us. Nigga got a regular job.
SPEAKER_03That's what's up.
SPEAKER_07Nigga, nigga work at um uh what's that shit called? Uh it's one of them, the mail with the post office. The post office, yeah. You work at the post off, that's a good job. So the only one doing right, shit. I'm the one that be getting to a little drama here and there and all that.
SPEAKER_04So you pro so you so you can say you're proud of your brother for what he's doing.
SPEAKER_07Like just for being a regular.
SPEAKER_04And this is the one, this is the one who who who had that situation. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07I I feel like I'm proud of him, and I'm proud of him for being able to feel like he can tell me.
SPEAKER_04Did it affect him in a manner that make that make him, you know, I'll say because sometimes people are affected where it's uh it can make make him have suicidal thoughts, make him, you know, angry, upset. Sometimes it can cause force him to to be a homosexual.
SPEAKER_07My brother's so quiet, I don't know. So that's why I was just grateful where he was able to tell me that that that that happened to him. I feel like I I can't even say, like, the only thing he just always emphasized to me that he's just not not as confident with himself.
SPEAKER_04How old is he?
SPEAKER_06Twenty-six. Two years older than me.
SPEAKER_04Whoever you are, if you watch it, man, I just want to say, man, just keep your head up, bro. And uh, you know, keep f stay focused, man, to keep doing what you're doing. And uh you know we are uh here rooting for you. Because that's a serious thing, you know. Like uh whenever things like that happen to people, whether it's male or female, they gotta live with that for the rest of their life. And people don't really understand what people gotta go to go through uh in regards to that. So people gotta really, you know, uh sometimes pay attention to individuals who have who have gone through that as a serious situation, especially somebody in your family that you trust. We just talked about something like that on one of our episodes. The trust factor of of a kid trusting someone, someone doing that. And he he had we had a question, he was like, Um, would you be okay with if you court somebody doing something like that and you k and and the mother killed them or the dad, or would you kill the kid? And I said that if I caught any of my kids doing that to any of my other kids, I probably wouldn't kill them. Me personally. And uh that's how I feel about that. So now let's get to you. Um you coming up and West Philly. Um and you said you came overstairs. You was like, Wait, came out, started making friends when you was like what nine, ten, how old did you say?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, we were like nine, ten.
SPEAKER_04So doing that and I'm assuming cause sometimes a lot of times when you have situations uh with with with uh individuals. I asked you this first, where uh where's your father?
SPEAKER_07Um he's still at the same house where I grew up at. Like he got another wife, he got two more kids. He didn't hit me. And keep it being I don't fuck with my pop either.
SPEAKER_04Like Wow, come on now, it's your dad.
SPEAKER_07He's shaky too. Like we just got into some shit last year, May 30th. I was trying to defend my little sister because I told him like I like I was I was I was living there, but like I was still in and out the crib cause I was hitting a little situation ship, so I wasn't always there all the time.
SPEAKER_04But situationship was that oh okay, I get it, I get it. Come on, Uncle come on my old head, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_05So you shake your head for. Because you over there just crazy as hell. I had to add a man crazy, but go ahead. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_07So um I I came back and I seen my little sister. My little sister at the time, she probably was like probably like uh probably like eight or nine or whatever. And you know, like little girls be sometimes wearing like little tank tops and shit like that, but at the time she ain't have no chest or nothing like that. And when I seen her she came out the front, like this is just like you only know if you live there. So my dad kind of fucked up. When I went to live there with him, like I already knew, like, damn, I'm about to be fucked up living with him. So it's like this was the punishment from my mom. My mom told me, like, my dad don't really have like a stable house. He don't have a stable income. He don't have um his big mom, second baby mom just wasn't mentally stable. She was doing her little stiffs, you mean? So it's just like she just this wasn't a good joint for me. My mom, my mom really a good woman. Like she worked at, she she got a good job. Like her husband, she married, she owns her crib, living the county. Like, my mom put up. My mom is some. If if I wasn't a rapper, like whatever, like I that's I something I still wouldn't be like. My mom and my grandma. Like the women of my family, like, they really like all good women, buried and all good. So my dad, he just a bitch ass nigga.
SPEAKER_03Nah, man.
SPEAKER_07My dad, a bitch ass nigga, real shit, for sure. Like he um, but I told my dad, like when I went there, I had to get a refrigerator, I had to get a lock for the crib, I had to get blinds, um, I had to get like I had to get a bed too for my siblings because they was sleeping on the same bed. Like my little brother, my dad, and my little sister, they was all sleeping in the same bed. I ain't fuck with it. So my dad, he was like, he was like, we gonna do this, I'm gonna, I'm doing this little program or whatever to um so they can get like two beds, two twins beds, two times be. I'm like, I'm like, I mean, you can do that, but like we can still go to the joint up the street where they be selling like the dryers and all, like the home appliance store. We can get a little something or something, like we can go have, I'll buy it for you, like I just did the refrigerator and everything. Like, I ain't gonna lie, like living with my dad, I didn't realize how expensive Lowe's at home Home Depot was.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_07That shit expensive as hell. Like, so long story short, I uh they get the twin-size beers. My dad sleeping with my little sister, and when I seen it, like at first, I'm like, okay, I don't really like that. And when she got up in the morning, she had the little tank top on, just her panties. I addressed him about it already. And I was like, I like the same morning, I was like, like, pop, I don't I ain't gonna lie, like, she getting a little older, like she like a little, like probably like right here to me. Like, she's a a tall, eight, nine-year-old girl. And she got a little curves to her. Like, she might not got boobs, but she got like a little curve to her. So I'm telling like that. I don't think you should be sleeping. Like, if you really need somewhere to sleep, like if I'm not here, if you know I be in and out of the crib, you can go sleep in my room. Ain't nothing. Like, I got the AC in there, like my bed, big. Go ahead. Downstairs is an option too. On the couch, it's not like we don't got nowhere for you to lay, type shit. So my dad, he like, yeah, I understand. It's not like that. Basically, I come back probably like three, four months later. I see the same thing. But when I see it, I didn't see that they was laying together. I just see she come out with no shirt on and just the panties. It's like some o'clock. Like, let's just be honest. Every man, don't y'all wake up with a with a with a with a morning wood though?
SPEAKER_05I do. I don't know about him.
SPEAKER_07But like I thought that was like a scientific thing, like every man do. In a twin-size bed, there's no way that both of y'all could be laying butt to butt every night. Like, I know some men, some be like, that's my that's my kid. Like, I wouldn't like but I just feel like it gets to a certain point. It's certain things you can do, it's certain things you can't do.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like I just feel weird separate my kids at a certain age. Like, once they they can't sleep in the bed together.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, especially just her being a a a a young female too.
SPEAKER_04But just like with like like a like no, I'm talking about bare skin.
SPEAKER_07Like no shirt. It's you crazy, man.
SPEAKER_04I'm asking you. It's been crazy.
SPEAKER_05Like you talk about some shirt or like bare skin. This nigga is crazy.
SPEAKER_07And that's why I said something, because I'm just like, all right, like I just like this, because I remember like I had a neighbor next door. The nigga name was Andrew, some African nigga. When he seen me, he always used to say my name and raise me up, like throwing me in the air and all that. But it got to a point when I got too big. My mom was like, You can't do that no more. And I was like, why? She was like, You just can't. And now I understand why.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. So um, did your dad stop like sleeping in the bed with her?
SPEAKER_07Um, no. Um, I went to like the grocery store. We I said that to him, and when I said something, um, he was like, No, I apologize. No, he he said, he was like, No, it's not like that. Like, you understand, like, that's still my daughter. Like, it's it's it's nothing like that. Like, and I apologize if you feel like it's in that type of way. And when he said that, I was just like, because at the time I felt like I was like a little younger, and I was just like, all right, whatever. Because I know he just needs help. Like, I don't know. I just feel like my dad was just off. So I went to a grocery store, got some food and all like that, like later on in the day. And like when I was at the store, I got triggered. Like, I swear, like, all this shit happened in the same day. Like, I seen one of the niggas, like, I ain't gonna lie, I was fast growing up. Like, I shouldn't have been talking to niggas that I was talking to. I shouldn't have been fucking with the niggas I was fucking with. And I didn't know. I'm thinking it's cute and all that. I'm thinking it's cool.
SPEAKER_04What do you mean the niggas you messing with?
SPEAKER_07They was too old.
SPEAKER_04Like, what you mean?
SPEAKER_07Like, they was like niggas like it'd be a nigga like you that would talk to me and I got a book bag on.
SPEAKER_04How old is how old was you?
SPEAKER_07I got a book bag on.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I'm saying high school.
SPEAKER_07So I'm in like, I'm in like high school. That's like 18 or younger. You got a SUNY, you got a full gray SUNY. You shouldn't be talking to him. You get what I'm saying? Like, and them niggas was talking to me, and I was just like, all right. So I seen one of them niggas with a SUNY in a in a in a uh lickie, yeah.
SPEAKER_06I apologize. I apologize.
SPEAKER_07I only say Sunny because like that's Philly. Like that's who we see. It's like I apologize, don't.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, it's cool.
SPEAKER_07But um, I seen him in the store and I got triggered. Cause he said something to me. Like, he was like, he he just said something and he was laughing. And I just already thought about what I just seen earlier. I'm just like, get your pedophile out in my face. Like, I don't like you know you shouldn't never been talking to me. Like, like, and he just was following me around the store while I'm trying to like bag my shit, trying to like buy my shit. I ended up just dropping my shit, not going to work, not paying for my shit, just ended up leaving.
SPEAKER_04If you can't elaborate, like, what do you mean you was messing with? Like, he was talking to you on the phone, or y'all was like, No, we was fucking.
SPEAKER_07Like, he was fucking me. Like, yeah, like he would pick me up from school, he would take me home.
SPEAKER_04Were you in high school then at the time?
SPEAKER_07I was in like probably like ninth grade or something, like probably no, I'm not, I'm not lying. No, I was like 11th. I was in like 11th grade. I was like 11th grade.
SPEAKER_04Wow, and he was picking you up from t and taking you with him. And how old was he? He probably was like 30, so how did you how did you uh how did you start talking to him?
SPEAKER_07I think he seen me just walking to the store or something. No, I'm lying. I was in a store buying a water ice and I was behind him, and he was like, Yeah, I'm gonna pay for the uh I'm gonna pay for the water ice too. And I was like, Thank you. And on the way out, on the walkout, he was like, Let me get your number. Give me my number. And I was just young and being fresh, type shit.
SPEAKER_04Wow, did you think this happened to a lot of young girls? Like a lot of young girls out here be uh for sure.
SPEAKER_07And the thing was I ain't even had to lie about my age or nothing like that. Like the nigga just liked it. That's when I knew it was wrong, like once I got older. Like I didn't even have to lie. Like, you knew I'm going to school, you know how old I am and all that. Like, some girls they gotta lie about their age. I ain't had to lie.
SPEAKER_04Damn, and he was cool with that. Like, I'm 16, 17 years old, and he's 30 in his 30s.
SPEAKER_07Sure.
SPEAKER_04Wow.
SPEAKER_07And you saw you saw him recently, and it was like Yeah, that shit like it just like triggered me when I see when I seen the whole kid, everything happened in the same day.
SPEAKER_04Let me ask you a question. Let me go reb rewind a little bit. Uh so back to your dad, like um, everything was cool with your sister? Like, is she cool with was everything okay? Or was it was something going on?
SPEAKER_07No, um, so that was a thing I I don't I don't know. Probably shit. I don't know. I I ended up getting to when I after that situation when I was at the store and I was like, fuck it, I ain't even gonna buy my shit. I called my dad. It was like it was at a fresh grocery, it was like a couple minutes away from my dad's crib. So I called him and I just told him about what happened. I'm just like, I was emotional crying. I'm just like, I don't understand men. Like, I'm just crying. And so when I got home, I was like, I was like, dad, like I ain't like I had some of the stuff because I went back in there, I bought some of the stuff because I we ain't had no food in the crib. I I made it, I made sure that I was gonna make sure my siblings was eating and shit like that. So I went in there, I still bought some stuff, but I ain't have like no bag or whatever. So I took my clothes, I mean, I took the the uh the food and shit like that and put it inside like this this bag where I had my clothes in. Took that, took it in the crib, and when I see my dad, I repeated the same thing. I'm like, I don't understand men, like why do y'all talk to younger girls? Like, why do y'all do things? Like, he like y'all, why y'all keep why you keep saying y'all, y'all? Why you keep saying y'all? Is it because of what happened earlier? Like, I'm like, yeah, a little bit of that too. And I'm like, I just seen somebody, da-da-da-da. When I said it, when I started saying all that, he like, um, don't put your trauma on me, don't put your hurting your pedophiles on me. I don't got nothing to do with your trauma. Like, and at that time, like, I was I was like, I had the food in her, like halfway in the kitchen, so he could put it in the refrigerator or whatever. The nigga take the bag, throw it in my face. When he threw it in my face, like at that time, I just got surgery on my like feet and shit like that. So, like your feet?
SPEAKER_04Well, I'll ask you about that.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But hold on. He threw it at he hit you in the face with the food?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, like with the the bag, it still had some food in there. So he threw it at me. It was an MCM bag, he threw it in my face. I had glasses. I wear glasses too. I ain't still getting my glasses since he threw it in my face, and I had like boots on and shit. Like, and I I uh I was like, damn, but I I just didn't have a lot of balance. So when he came, he like rushed towards me and like gripped me up from behind my back, slammed me on the ground. Like, but before he got the chance to slam me on the ground, I'm trying to like like trying to hit him, trying to like grab him. And at this point, I'm trying to calculate, like, because when I'm about to rumble, when I'm rumbling, I'm trying to calculate like if we really serious or not, or like how hard I really gotta punch you. Like, I'm I be like thinking, like when I'm fighting or when I'm about to fight, like type shit. So like I'm thinking, like, damn, is my dad really about to hurt me? Like, do I really gotta like did like that with my pop type shit? Like, so like the nigga like gripping me up on my neck, like putting me in one of these. Like the nigga, boom, put me on the ground, like throw me on the ground. That's like a little bike right there. I fall and fall, the bike slam on top of me. The nigga choking me, choking me out, like to the point where I'm like, I'm like, damn, if I just calm down, the nigga gonna get off of me. And I ain't gonna like, nigga ain't never get off me. So I'm at the point where I'm damn, hold up. I'm tapping the ground. I can't see, I'm like, I don't got no breath. I can't scream, I can't do nothing. So, like in my mind, like when motherfuckers be like, I seen a light flash before my eyes and all that, and all that, like that shit real life. Like, I really seen something, some shit. I seen my mom and all that. So like I pass out, and when I wake up, the nigga, I I feel him getting off of me and like he calling my siblings and to come down. I don't when I heard when I woke up, I heard my sibling, my my little sister screaming. And I feel like that's what woke me up for real, like her screaming type shit. So when I got up, when he when I finally got up, the nigga started running and shit. Cause I tried to find something to like throw at him. He took my phone so I couldn't call the cops, I couldn't call nobody. And he like took it outside with him to run. When he he put it like somewhere like on the little bench or whatever, I ended up, I'm like, fuck my phone. Like, I'm trying to get this nigga. But I still care for my siblings. You put my siblings in the car and you try to ride off. So I just threw a rock at the window. Boom. Threw a rock at the window, type shit, throw it inside the at the uh adjoin. I hear my siblings screaming, so I just stop. That was like a trigger for me. I just chill. So I walk in the crib, call my brothers. I'm like, this nigga try to call my brother, my uh my twin, I call it my twin type shit. I'm like, bro, like dad just tried to kick like, oh my god. Nigga come. And still to the day, like I love my brother, but I don't fuck with my brother because my brother built my or helped build my dad out like the next day and all that and all that.
SPEAKER_03Your dad locked up for that. No, he not locked up, but he But he got locked up for that, for that fight with you.
SPEAKER_07Mm-hmm. Yeah, my face was fucked up, like my eye was red. Like I had blood, blood clots in my eyes. Like, that shit was bad. Like, that shit was bad. Like, I didn't expect my dad to be like that with me. But but I can't say I I don't expect it because he was like that with my mom. Like I seen him put his hands on my mom before growing up. Like I seen him get into alter cases. That's why his crib was so fucked up when I came, because he's fighting with his big mom all day, all over the crib. With his second big mom, so the house all fucked up.
SPEAKER_04Do you think your dad got a mental issue? Mental problems?
SPEAKER_07Um, I don't know, but I don't think he got a mental problem. I think he got anger issues. And I think he don't have like support.
SPEAKER_04You mentioned that about your about your sister. You think that triggered him? Like it was a trigger for him?
SPEAKER_07For sure.
SPEAKER_04Do you think it's like he was like he was trying to hide something?
SPEAKER_07Probably, like when somebody react like that, like it gotta be. Like, you're not just like tripping out for no reason.
SPEAKER_04You never feel like you want to ask your sister, is she okay?
SPEAKER_07I want to. I ain't talked to her since. Like I was like, I was like a mom to her. Like the only time I was able to talk to her is when I was trying to retrieve my shit, but I still wasn't able to talk to her. Like, I I don't I don't she still don't understand why all that happened. Like I really did that for her.
SPEAKER_04It's crazy because you if you sit back and think about what she probably, if if this the case, I'm not saying it, if this is the case, something out of pocket, what she's probably going through.
SPEAKER_07Type shit. It could be that, unfortunately, or it could be because her my mom was a piece of shit too. That's why I was being that mom for her. That mom that she didn't have I'm doing her hair. I'm doing her mom calling her a monkey, calling her ugly, you know what I'm saying? Seeing her hair is a mess. Like, your hair's not a mess, it's beautiful. She just don't know how to deal with it. Like, type shit like that. So, like, I don't know. She I just felt like she just my my little sister, she may not have it like set in stone for like success. Just because of her her downfall, and she don't have nobody, from what I can see, from what I know, she don't have nobody around her that's like influential in a in a positive way.
SPEAKER_04I wanna say something too, and the sad thing about it is this when you have kids, right? And it's already difficult to make it, especially in out of Philly period or any ghetto around America. But then you got the outside world against you, but if you got your family, people in your household against you, that's me that's like double that's like double jeopardy. Like it's like it's gonna be even even more difficult for her to be successful. I'm not saying she can't do it, but it's gonna be hard if she continues to grow up in that environment. Any of us, even if it was a male or f uh or female to come up in that environment. Yeah, um I think that you probably should reach out to her and and ask her if she's okay.
SPEAKER_07How am I gonna do that? We'll write a letter.
SPEAKER_04So you can't go to the house.
SPEAKER_07I mean, I ain't trying to go to her what to see. He's gonna be there. I ain't trying to see her.
SPEAKER_04Damn, wait, you got a car, right? Yeah, but I'm saying you should try because uh she she gonna she you just never I'm saying if you can. Because you never know. She might talk to you and tell you what's going on. Yeah, but I just don't um 'cause you could you because you just you you probably can you probably can save her.
SPEAKER_07I don't want that shit to look weird, like like popping up at school and all that. Like I'm not, yeah, but I don't look like her. She don't look like me.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but she know who you are. When you go when you know, you know her last name.
SPEAKER_07When I went to go pick her up from school before, like they don't play this shit. Like at schools, they don't play that shit no more. Like if you're not like uh you when they come to get you, like as a child, you have to like like know the the the parent or or the the teacher or some shit like that for you to be able to like pick the kid up. Like you can't just be like a random person picking up the kid. So like to me, to the school, I'm random. I wouldn't be able to even go inside. Like they be they got like the security and all that. Like I wouldn't even be able to get to that premise. So for her to to come outside, she has to be with a parent.
SPEAKER_04You just try?
SPEAKER_07I try, but actually, just try.
SPEAKER_04Let's try. Because you never know that that attempt can can uh possibly save her a life. Um so now it seemed like you know your your your family is like um going through turmoil because this these things happen in the hood. People go through stuff like this. This is normal I know a lot of people like like this is crazy, but this is a lot this is happening a lot, man. Um families are are are torn apart because of a lot of different things, drugs. You see, this is her just talking about is drugs, you know, uh violence, all that stuff is within a household, which is terrible. Now after you leave your dad's house, where did you go?
SPEAKER_07Um I was homeless.
SPEAKER_04Wow. How old were you again? Once again.
SPEAKER_06Oh, this was like but no, this was like two years ago then. This was like two This was like two years ago then. This was because it's 2026 now. It'll be like two years now.
SPEAKER_04What does a homeless girl do? Uh we should so two years ago, it was 21, 2021, right?
SPEAKER_0522.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, so I was sleeping in my car. I'll just park up under a tree in the county or something. I sleep in my car. And my mom knew that shit too, and that's what really hurt me too. Like, like I love my mom, but it's just like certain shots, like, damn, like, you know.
SPEAKER_04So your mom went allow you to come back in the house?
SPEAKER_07Because she didn't like the way I move. She felt like all I do was party, party, party, move around. Like, this to her is partying. She'd be like, if you're not going to work, like you're not doing nothing. Like, you not. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But do you do you think she she might she might be right, though? You don't think she's trying to I I work too.
SPEAKER_07I got a license. Like, I do hair. Like, I really, really do work. And if I don't, if I'm not doing hair, I'm doing other stuff. Like, it just that it's not traditional for her. Like, my income is not traditional. So it's it's wrong for her.
SPEAKER_04So she so mom got you, you gotta be home at certain times. You can't be out late.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, she locked them doors. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And with what like, yeah, she but I just think that sometimes when when parents are like that, it's just because they have a concern, they have structure, and they want probably want the best for you. They don't she don't want you outside, because it's there's dangers out here in the world, be out late.
SPEAKER_06I understand. I understand. Like, and I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I care about you.
SPEAKER_07I get that too. I really do. I get that. But I just feel like you shouldn't still like try to diminish what I'm trying to do or what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_04So you under sleep in the car under trees in the county.
SPEAKER_07Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04And what's your car, like tenant? It was like tenant windows or Yeah. Oh, so you sleep in the car. How would you like showering? What would you do in the shower?
SPEAKER_07Like plane and finish. I because I work out too. So it was like I was like, I'm gonna go to the plane and finish, workout, wash up there, type shit. I'd be good. Money. 24 hours anyway. So I go there, wash up. Like, sometimes I still act like, cause I gotta still portray that image that I'm good. So that I still gotta like go do shit. Like, if it would it would have been on a day like this, like nobody would have never knew. I would have watched that bit playing the fish and all that, would have came here, then my little ones and twos, and I would have went right back to my car. And I would have parked up somewhere and I would have like chill, or I fucked around, depending on the day, if it's still daytime out, like I probably would have probably chilled up somewhere with my friend, or I would have been like bringing music or something, trying to find somewhere to charge my phone, making sure it's gas in my car, like little shit like that. Probably at Kelly Drive, the play, something like that, just trying to get some. And it was but at that time it was cold. It was winter time too. So like I really couldn't do all those things for a long period of time. Like I'd be probably like inside somewhere, like sitting at the mall or something like that, like chilling the mall or something.
SPEAKER_04Chilling the mall. And we just staying in the mall all night?
SPEAKER_07All night, but just for like a couple hours, like just chilling around, crying or stealing a little bit too. Really shit.
SPEAKER_04I respect it, I respect your honesty, man. People gonna lie, a lot of people won't go and go feel your story. Um because if you look at these stories that you're telling a lot of times, you you're being authentic, and people won't wanna hear that, you know, this uh this type of stories. Um so you homeless, stay in the malls. Um I like I I got four daughters. All right, that's gonna say this. I got four girls. And I can't imagine them going through any of those stuff that you mentioned. Like, I feel like I will I will lay my life on the line and be ready to die before I'm gonna do it.
SPEAKER_07Like no matter what, no matter what they say or what they do.
SPEAKER_04No, I'm saying if they told if they was going through something like this, going through something, first of all, I'm not letting them be out there in the street. For one, I'm not doing that. And for two, I'm not gonna put my hands on them. Nothing. I'm not gonna do that. Um, so but I and if they was going through something, I would feel like I'm willing to exhaust all funds to make sure that my kids is good.
SPEAKER_06That's a blessing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go hard for them. I'm not gonna not gonna go. I'm gonna try to talk to my daughters every day if I can. I'm not gonna go months now speaking to my child. I feel like if a man goes along too long to talk to their child, you you're not thinking about your kid. You got kids, you're not thinking about them every day. That's not being a man to me.
SPEAKER_07Nah, in his mind, I wasn't I wasn't adult.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but you still is his baby. You know, you gotta you are you a girl, you're a female. So a man automatically gotta protect your your daughter 24-7. Like she can't be out here in the world. You don't know, I don't know where she at. I can't contact you. Like you just said that you was a young girl and it was men, grown men coming after you or trying to or being a relationship with a grown man at a teenager. So I I just feel like me, I'm gonna go hard for mine. I'm it's no limit that I'm gonna do. If my daughter's just watching, there's no limit, your father's gonna go for you. No limit. And listen, I'm willing, I'm willing to put my life on the line for you. I love y'all. Now you got you got, you know, situation you say sleep in the car, winter time, we're doing all this, all these different things. This is this is like a movie.
SPEAKER_07My life is a movie, yo. No, real shit. I can't go lie, I be going through shit like still this day. Like till this day. Like that nigga said, I really be going through stuff.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you you just really embarking upon life. You 24. You only 24.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god, and I gotta keep going.
SPEAKER_05Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you young.
SPEAKER_07It's too much. Super young.
SPEAKER_04But the the thing, but the good thing about being young is you still got opportunity. You just gotta find out what you want to do and how you wanna do it, and really approach it in a in a manner of uh like applying yourself every day to find, pick out what you want to do every day. Just apply yourself and go after every day. Make the adjustments within yourself and try to figure out what you need to do more of how you need to fix this, how you need to that you have the skies, the sky's the limit for you. For real. Um you've been through a lot already. We ain't we we still interviewed. Well, I think we've been talking for what 15 minutes. So um you now you um you're going through all this, sleeping in, you know, the mall, still in the mall.
SPEAKER_07No, I ain't sleeping the mall. I'm gonna keep it being, I ain't never sleeping no more.
SPEAKER_04But you chill. I'm saying you wanna go back, you chilling.
SPEAKER_07I was definitely chilling and stealing.
SPEAKER_04And you outside. And this was this was what, two winters ago? Type shit, yeah. And this is probably one of the coldest winters we had in the room.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, that was a mess. Yeah, I was made as shit.
SPEAKER_04So how hold on, how how would you so you was keep you was cutting the car off or keeping it running?
SPEAKER_07Hell yeah, I was kind of car off. I brought my blanket. I brung all my shit, put everything in the trunk. Nobody knew. I just I just had to make sure my car was clean.
SPEAKER_04What kind of car are you at?
SPEAKER_07Um, I think that was my Malibu at the time or something like that.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_07I just put everything on it. I'm like, as long as I keep it clean, nobody's gonna know. As long as I stay clean, my breath don't stink, my shit wiped, my nails done, my hair done, niggas ain't gonna know nothing. Let's keep it to be niggas gonna give me shit. They gonna like as long as I can get through the day, as long as I can like, as long as I can save all this money that they giving me that they want to do for me so I can get to where I gotta go, I'm gonna be alright.
SPEAKER_04That's all about that. Uh, men, the the attraction of men and men willing to spend and give and give money to you. Now they're giving it to you, expecting you to uh give them something in return. I mean, I I I I know that I know the answer to that, but I'm just saying, I want to hear your answer. So, or or or are you have are you in relationships? I'll say this, are you are you in the same kind of relationship with all with the with the men, the multiple men that you're talking to?
SPEAKER_07Oh, multiple men? Like you said my right now?
SPEAKER_04You said you said I'm saying at the time you said you was talking to men who was giving you, who was giving you stuff.
SPEAKER_07Nah, not talking to them. I went talking to them. They was just like, yeah, you could say I was talking to them because in my mind talking mean like you like I was speaking to them, entertaining them. Yeah, yeah. Um that was worse, like it just always was a finesse, it was all an agenda, it wasn't genuine, it was all like as we would say, it's trick type shit. But a lot of niggas I was robbing too, like on some weird shit. You was robbing them. Yeah, I was stealing from niggas, robbing, like I'm not about to just and it get to the point where like I also know, like, okay, like we gotta be smart here. Like, if we can't just we it get to a certain point where a nigga gonna wanna fuck you. So all right, I'm gonna you I'ma think about it. A nigga wanna laugh, niggas like funny bitches, niggas like young bitches, so I wanna be around the older people that I know that's gonna give me what I need. I'm gonna give them what they want. They want a young bitch that's gonna make him feel youthful. So you wanna take advantage of my youth so you can feel youthful. So you know what I like. For you to talk to me and be around me, I want you to buy me something. I want you to give me some money because I need something. Yes, I'm a young bitch that needs something right now. So you gonna do that for me if you want to talk to me? That's how I was playing it until I had myself together. So I had myself together, end up getting another car, and I was good money. I ended up getting good money. Like, I ain't gonna lie, I just like I had to like just stop um kind of like going outside because people would invite me places and I would still try to act like it was cool, but it still wasn't cool though. Like, I I it was it was like, why am I gonna go drink if I know I gotta go sleep in my car? Type shit. Like, yeah, I'm getting drunk to go sleep in my car. My friends ain't know that.
SPEAKER_04Ain't tell nobody.
SPEAKER_06I ain't tell nobody that.
SPEAKER_07That was some dirty stuff, but it's cool.
SPEAKER_04But I mean, that's that's your story. Like, we all had to be. Yeah, I don't think it's dirty at all. Yeah, that's your story at all. Yeah, do what you had, do what you do what you do what you had you had to do. I would have rather you go home to your mom, but you know, you gotta you gotta do what you gotta do. That's what you that's what you thought you needed to do. Um, but that that's also the rebellious side of you. You you you you rather be in the street opposed to going home to your mom and and and then doing what she wants you to do as far as come home with that reason.
SPEAKER_07Uh and it wasn't just that. I don't want to just simplify it as that I was just for defiant, like no. Like me and my mom also had a little stuff too. Like my mom is married. Like my stepdad is my stepdad. How look is my my stepdad is my stepdad. When I look when my mom looks at it, it's like it's competition. Like, and that's how I feel. And I told it to my mom before, like competition like what?
SPEAKER_04She didn't think her husband's looking at you?
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Like certain stuff I might wear. She like, like this my outfit right now. Like, she'll be like, But you don't gotta wear that to get a man.
SPEAKER_04Is she wrong though?
SPEAKER_07I'm not wearing it to get no men.
SPEAKER_04But I'm saying, but she I'm saying you strutting past and an outfit like that. And sometimes women get older and they have, I'm not saying, I'm I I don't know, I don't know your mom physique, and I'm just saying, but a lot of women, they get older why, and they have young, younger girls walking past, and then the man may be looking.
SPEAKER_07That's supposed to be my dad.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but I'm just saying, it's I'm not saying that that's what he's doing, but she probably feels like he might, he might, he might look at you.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, no, that's crazy. I genuinely love my stepdad. Like when fathers came, father's day came, that was like an amazing day for me. I bought my dad's shoes, I'm on my stepdad's shoes. I even bought my mom's shit for Father's Day. I know people hate that, but I just was I just did it. Like I was I was so happy. Like, so I never looked at my stepdad to be on that type time. And it would, he would just also be on some like, even if she don't think like he looking at me, I felt like it was like, yeah, my man do this for me. Like, what what them what them niggas be doing for you? Like, what Oh, she said that. Like, yeah, like she said that type shit before. And I'm just like, she's like, yeah, my man got me. Like, he gonna work doubles for me. Like, damn. All right, you ate that.
SPEAKER_04Yo, you kidding? No, it's your mom. Can't do that.
SPEAKER_06No, I love her, I love her. That's my girl.
SPEAKER_04But she, but yeah, she probably just I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what it is this is like sometimes who too with uh with with moms and daughters, they get that that little that little witch call. Like it's like a little sometimes they could be like a little bit.
SPEAKER_07She'd be like two queens can't live in the same household. That's what she said.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I get it, but that's but that's why that's when that's when the man comes in. That's why we talk about yesterday. The kid, the the kid's supposed to go with the man, especially if the woman moves on to another man. The kids should go with go go be with their father.
SPEAKER_06Why do you think that?
SPEAKER_04Because the father, a father gonna a father's gonna gonna raise it to raise a daughter's a lot better than the than the one than the mom be. Especially if they if she moves on to another man. Now she's single and and they trying to figure it out, and the dad's allowed to be around as much as possible when they're single. And they just working on it, but once she once she marries another man, she gon' she gonna uh wanna cater to him? Yeah, she's gonna need to focus on him.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And that's why the man, he can now he can take over the duties and raise the kid, raise the raise the kids, raise his raise his daughters. Because listen, at the end of the day, men are protectors at the end of the day. So a man's gonna try to protect his daughter. Like, I'm saying a real man is gonna try to try to protect all his kids, but a man's gonna try to protect his daughter, like I said, to the utmost. You know what I'm saying? Uh, because you understand everything you're saying, I know men that move like that. Like that, that, that, that, I, I know men that that stalk and prey on young girls. I know men who uh, you know, who have done or or I heard that that may have done some stuff like uh molestation. I know I I see it all the time. And my me being a father of knowing that's out there, I gotta try my best to protect my daughters from that. Knowing, because I I I've witnessed it now, you you're giving me an giving me an experience from your experience to actually add on to my plate as far as what I'm looking at when I'm when I'm trying to raise raise my daughters.
SPEAKER_06What's an example of like protection?
SPEAKER_04Protection is, you know, um, you know, uh for one, just this being available. I'll say this being available as a form of a protection. Answering the phone, um, you know, provide for them, a place to live, place to stay. All these different things. Like if something happens to me the day or tomorrow and my daughters are always they'll never they'll never want for nothing. Always have a place to stay, always have things in place for them. Because I don't work for me no more. I work for them. My son grown. I got a little small son, but I I don't work for me no more. Everything I get now is for them. So they can have a better situation. And that's how I look at it for my kids. Yeah, alhamdulillah. That's how I look at it. I'm not I I'm not perfect, but I make mistakes, but I look at these things and I I've done work working for me. I'm getting old. Now um you going through these things that you're going through and all these these trials and tribulations, you know, sitting here looking at you, you seem like you like you're uh I can see, I'm gonna be honest, I can see that um it's a lot going on with you. I can see that I can see that you've been through a lot. I can see that you are a fighter. And I say I can say that you trying. So uh knowing all this and seeing and um hearing your story and you talking about this, these things that you've been through. Um I just want to know for you, from from you, like what what what do you think you need to do as far as yourself and getting over just getting yourself into the right position? What do you think you gotta do? Like if you gotta take it, like if there's moves you wanted to make or things you need to do, what do you think that you need or things that you gotta do to get back to a good point? You're gonna be comfortable with.
SPEAKER_06Uh like mentally comfortable?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, mentally, physically, uh mentally, you know, uh emotionally, financially.
SPEAKER_07Well, first mentally, I feel like uh I gotta like I feel like I gotta uh a short tolerance for certain stuff. Like but I need to have a short tolerance for like bullshit. Like I feel like I put up with the wrong stuff. I don't know. Well from me what and I mean like yeah, like in relationships and stuff sometimes, like and I that probably came from like, you know, the stuff with my dad or whatever. I don't know, but I feel like I put up with the wrong stuff. So that might hinder me from my success, but I need to learn how to like kind of like just can control my life and not neglect myself to please a man. Cause that's usually what I be doing. Like I neglect myself a lot, and sometimes it'll be in a way where it's not beneficial for me and I forget about myself. And sometimes it'll make a nigga look at me like, cause I done forgot about myself so much because I'm so busy. You mean pleasing, pleasing, pleasing you. So it's like, you know. So I feel like I just need to be more focused on pleasing myself, and that's gonna help me like flourish, because what else I'm gonna have to focus on? Um, I want to go back to school. That's gonna I love learning. So that's gonna help me like because I'm an overthinker. It's gonna give me something to do. That's why I write music. That's why it just gives me something to do, it helped me like get stuff off my head.
SPEAKER_05Um so what happened, man? What look I heard you've been in prison, man. You know, we we heard about you, you know, going through life as far as and you know, living homeless for a short period of time. So I'm guessing you changed that situation and started doing some things.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I was trying my best. But the the little Joe stuff, that really was not cute. Like, I promise y'all, it was not cute. I it was it was fun though. I ain't gonna lie, it was fun. Right after a while, it was fun when I got adapted to it. And it's sad to say, but it was fun, and that's how I knew I shouldn't have been there. I'm like, damn, I'm getting adapted to fighting these bitches. Like, I'm gonna let these bitches know I'm not no pussy. Like, we in here, like let's do it.
SPEAKER_05Like, oh, I don't want to go to what led up to you going to prison.
SPEAKER_07I ran some well, I ain't gonna say prison because prison ain't it was a judge.
SPEAKER_05Well, no, that's prison. Uh uh. Anywhere you can find that against your own accord, you're in jail. I could block you in that bathroom right now, you in jail.
SPEAKER_07Okay, right, okay, okay, okay. Right, you're right, you ready, you're right. All right, well, um, so what had happened was I had ran somebody over.
SPEAKER_05Damn. Oh, you said that you just run, you just try to run right past that. Like what happened was like I just passed him a cup. No, first of all, please keep it real, man.
SPEAKER_07I know I was coming out of smoke shop. Little biking nigga. Nigga, I hate bikers. Like, oh my god, these niggas be thinking they got the right of way all the time. Not to me. They don't. So I'm coming out the smoke shop. The smoke shop is like like two different, it's a it's two different drones. It's an exit and there's an entry, but you can the entry can be an exit too, and the exit can be like both can go either way. So the drone that I'm coming out is like the main street. I'm coming out the smoke shop, I'm driving out the drone. The nigga on the he on the on a bike and he like riding down. And I guess he thought I didn't see him. It was my light anyway. So in my mind, there's no bike lane. I come down the streets all the time. I don't know if that has to, is it does it have to be a bike lane to give them a right-away?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_07Okay. There was no bike lane. So I'm okay.
SPEAKER_04Great.
SPEAKER_07Start there.
SPEAKER_04So he ran him over, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_07The nigga, I just feel like I had a reason to, though. So like the nigga, he stalky guy. It looked like he probably like just came, probably just came home or something, probably just trying to keep up with himself. Like he looked like an older guy. How they try to put it, like he was elderly, like didn't like that.
SPEAKER_04So probably because his age, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, which is crazy. Like he wasn't that old. He looked all right. So he came out and he stopped. And when he stopped, he think I like I can tell he thought I didn't see him. He's like, he like damn there, like put his feet off the pedals and all that, like stop. Oh, I'm like, damn, Uncle, like I seen you, but go ahead. Like, go ahead. So he said some little smart shit. So then I go around. Now my light, now the light is red now. So now I'm at the light and I'm sitting here. The nigga come from around and he seen his little one-twos and he's sitting in front of the car. So the light was it was already red. Now he's arguing back and forth with me. The light has gone from red to green, now it's back to red. You just pissed me off because you just made me miss my light. The nigga go around and he knew he made me miss my light. He hit like the back of my car or something like that. I don't know what he used, his foot, leg, tongue, the back of the bike. I don't know. But it pissed me off because I just put what I just put on my windows and I just put gas in my car. And you think you're gonna hit the back of my shit and ride off in the sun?
SPEAKER_06Nah, brother.
SPEAKER_07I put my bitch in reverse. I drive back and I hit that nigga off his bike, and I made sure to run over the bike. You're not still gonna ride off into the sun. I ran over the bike and I ran over him.
SPEAKER_04Ran him over, like the car went over the over top of it.
SPEAKER_07Like all that, like all that. I made sure because I know the sound effects, I ain't that. I just I'm like, I hope I don't pop my tires.
SPEAKER_05You ran him all the way over with just the back tires and then. I hit his legs.
SPEAKER_07I hit his legs.
SPEAKER_05No, when I say all the way over, you know how you got the car and the speed rolling over like a speed bump, man. All the way until the front tires got over.
SPEAKER_07And then we hit the reverse on him. Another one.
SPEAKER_05Damn.
SPEAKER_07Now we're going home. Fuck the red. Like I skirt off.
SPEAKER_05By yourself in the car?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah. You was a you spazed out. You was a you like where it's a big thing.
SPEAKER_07I be by myself. Like I And that's the thing.
SPEAKER_05Like, people You might be out your goddamn mind.
SPEAKER_07I be tripping. Like, I really do be tripping sometimes. Like, like I don't be, I don't be, I don't let nobody gas me up. Nobody gonna gas me up, nothing. Like, I get so what happened?
SPEAKER_05What did you do? Like after you seen that you destroyed the bike and he still laid up.
SPEAKER_07My driver's window was down. So I'm hearing, call the cops, call the I said, god damn. I start driving fast. I'm like, this nigga a rat. You just was popping all that, all that in front of the, and then you now you cause what your knee hurt now? Cause I done ran over your kneecap and all that. Now you want, all right, cool. I know we in the county, so I got bust so much time. So I go to my mom's crib, I call my mom on the way home. I'm like, mom, I ain't gonna lie, I just ran somebody over.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_05She going crazy.
SPEAKER_07What? Yeah, mom, I ain't gonna lie. And where you about to go? Well, I'm at the house, what? She mad as hell. So I'm in the crib. I I went to go wash up because I was like irritated, it was hot. I come downstairs, I'm hearing do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. They at the door. I'm like, damn, but it wasn't a they, it was just a he. It was a detective or something. He was at the door, but I knew it wasn't just him. It was others. But I couldn't, I couldn't see him and all that. So he put this card in the in the door and all that. He like, um he like, just come, just come talk, just talk to us. She ring the doorbell and all that. Like, my mom mad as shit. She's like, what are you doing? You come to the crib to go. So that happened. My mom get off at work, because she was at work, she got off from work. She like, you need to go turn yourself in. I'm like, mom, like, hold up. Let's call Tremble. Tremble the lawyer. Let's call Tremble. She like, no, you need to go turn yourself in. Cause why is you, da da da da da? They come into my house, dah dah da da. You just need to go do it.
SPEAKER_05Oh, did they come, did they they ain't come to your house in the city?
SPEAKER_07The detective came, he put a card in the in the in the um in the door in the mailbox.
SPEAKER_05But how the fuck they know it was what they got your license plate or something?
SPEAKER_07Probably from the from the um the smoke shop.
SPEAKER_05Okay, all right. So boom. So was you there when they came?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I was home.
SPEAKER_05I don't think he's listening.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I parked up, I went home, I went to go wash up and all that. And I see, I was hearing him knocking on the door, and that's when I went downstairs and they was like, uh, uh just come outside and talking all that. He put the uh, well, that's when I seen him, I seen the uh the card or whatever. I ain't never go to the door. I just was at the top of the steps looking, because the way my mom joins was, they kind of sheer. Like her blondes, they kind of sheer. So you can kind of see if somebody coming down the steps or see if they downstairs. So I'm like, no, I'm gonna just stay upstairs till I seen them like trying to kind of drive away. Cause I was kind of looking from upstairs in my mom's room. So once they went away, I went downstairs. I grabbed the join. I'm on the phone with my mom the whole time, too, like telling her everything that's happening. So I um she mad, she's snapping. Um she came home from work. So I had to go down there, she told me to go down there, she made me go. And the the officer was there, and he was like, he was over there, he was drawing. He like, so you running over old people. So he ain't really drawing, that's what you did. No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_05He was drawing. You cooked the city. No, I didn't know.
SPEAKER_07See, that's the thing. You talking crazy and all that, you don't know that it's somebody a little bit crazier.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, but that I'm saying that justifies for you, but you still ran that man over.
SPEAKER_07I did, but he still hit my car.
SPEAKER_05Uh do we not going back and forth about that? It's a cause and effect. Exactly. You're right. I go to hit your car, but did you did it warrant you to just shoot like a speed ball? No, no, not did it warrant, but in your mind, did you know you could go to jail for this?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, no, I wasn't thinking about that at the time.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, we don't never do it. We'll ever try to do that.
SPEAKER_07I wasn't thinking about that at the time. You know, no. I just was thinking about like, damn, I just put windows, I just put 10 in these windows.
SPEAKER_05You gotta remember you. What the fuck? How old were you when this happened?
SPEAKER_07I I just got out of hair school. I probably was like the uh 20, 20, 21 or something like that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you was young.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I was mad. That was a gift to myself. Getting that car and putting tent on there, and I just put gas on there, bitch. Like, I was like, oh.
SPEAKER_05You're gonna put that gas in there. That's one thing you're gonna do. You're gonna fill it up.
SPEAKER_07I didn't fill it up, I was putting 40 in there at that time.
SPEAKER_04Do you take accountability for uh what you did?
SPEAKER_07I know what I did.
SPEAKER_04And you're you're old.
SPEAKER_07Why not? No.
SPEAKER_04That man probably lost his legs.
SPEAKER_07He made me pay restitution. He alright.
SPEAKER_04Restitution to the court, that's it. What?
SPEAKER_07The bike was a thousand dollars. It's a it's a thousand dollars for the bike.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you pay for the bike, okay.
SPEAKER_07I had to pay for his bike. Like, that bike was not a thousand dollars, bro. Like, that shit pissed me off when I seen that.
SPEAKER_03Like, so listen.
SPEAKER_07What happened when you went down to the stuff? Skinny jaws.
SPEAKER_05What happened when you went down to the station though? When you and your your mom went with you?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I just felt like it was a movie. My mom was holding me about it back in my ear, type john. So I'm just like, all right, I'm gonna go down there. I go, my stepdad with me. My stepdad's so quiet. Like, he just be like, I'm gonna just, all right.
SPEAKER_05I'm just here.
SPEAKER_07I'm okay. Hey. Like, that shit be pissing me off. Like, say something, do something. Like, put your foot down. My mom be, she be wearing the pants, yo. She be wearing the pants. So she um, she just looking like, want something like telling what you did, type time.
SPEAKER_04She made you snitch on yourself. You putn't you supposed to be quiet.
SPEAKER_07But I said, I that's why I was like, I was like, let's call Trimble. She like, nah, you're gonna go down there and you're gonna talk to them people. Damn. She's like, you're gonna turn yourself in. I'm like, damn. Cause another thing, too, that's not my first time getting in trouble. Like, so they got my mom's phone number and all that too. They was calling my mom, like, like, and I don't know why they be doing it. That's so messy. But they was calling my mom, like, like saying, like, stun, saying, I don't know what they were saying, but they was saying that they was looking for me, basically, and they wanted me to talk and come down there just to just to talk or something.
SPEAKER_00Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_07Went down there, I talked, and the nigga, he didn't have the camera on. He, I mean, the he was a white man. A white guy, he ain't had a camera on. But he just was asking me questions, and I guess he was writing it down or whatever, but I guess maybe because he didn't have it recorded, it wasn't violent. So um, everything that was said, it it was like it didn't count. So my my lawyer was like, don't worry, I had to man, going to jail is expensive.
SPEAKER_06Let's start there.
SPEAKER_07Like, it's it's not cool. Like, I could have done so much more things, could have done a lot of things with all those monies that I spent.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, lawyer fees, commissary, all that stuff.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, no, I ain't yo see, that's the thing. I never had to pay for commissary. No, yes, I did. Yes, I did. No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
SPEAKER_04You had to pay for that lawyer, I had to pay that bell.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, and a little bit of phone time, maybe. I don't know. I don't my mom put a little bit of money on there. No, I ain't paid for no bell. I ain't had a bell.
SPEAKER_05All right, so did they lock you up when you went down there?
SPEAKER_07No, they didn't lock me up.
SPEAKER_05Um They didn't lock you up that day?
SPEAKER_07No, they didn't lock me up that day. Um, I went home and that's when he was grilling me. Like, he like, yeah, yeah, I can see. So so you did that? Oh, yeah, so you're gonna go to jail. You'll have a wornout soon. You ever wanna don't worry about it? And he did like a little pat on the table. Don't worry about it. We'll get you. I was mad hell. At that time, I still was driving my car. So I I um I when we got home, I took my car and just was riding around. My mom was like, you shouldn't drive your car because you probably got like a they probably know your car now. So you probably shouldn't be driving around. I'm like, but they already came to my house, they already know me now. What are they gonna do now? Lock me up? You already seen me. So what's gonna happen at the day? So ended up having a a warrant, but before the warrant, I already went to to my lawyer, so I had to go, I guess, turn myself in again, or some some shit. But I had to go to a court date, and they called it like a what is it called? Like a R R and R and something.
SPEAKER_03R and D.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, but you don't had to pay for bells.
SPEAKER_03Oh R O R.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or R O R. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, because I I had a lawyer and I had to, they was like, well, you got a lawyer, so we not gonna, we're not gonna lock you up or nothing like that. He's like, because we can lock you up like right here, right now, type shit. I'm like, damn, like, but because my lawyer came, he pissing me off with baggy pants coming in the the joint, just looking like I'm about to lose. But I was actually excited because he was cool. He did his just did his job, so I was alright.
SPEAKER_04Um, I was concerned.
SPEAKER_07I was concerned. Because he used to work with my brother before. My brother always went to jail. Always did. That's what I'm telling you. My brother just in and out, you always went to jail.
SPEAKER_04He's a deal lawyer, probably. It's your best deal.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, so so um that happened. I ended up leaving. Um, talked to my lawyer about it. My lawyer asked me, he like, so who paying me? He like, you or your mom. I'm like, me. Scared about my money. I had to pay him like $5,000 at first. He was like, he like, you can give me $3,500 on Friday. When he like, when can you give me some money? I'm like, on Friday, I can give you something. He was like, well, start up for $3,500. I'm not gonna start your case until you give me $3,500. I'm like, dang. All right, bet, I got you. He but then before he asked me all that, he was asking me with my occupation. Asking me, I was doing, I'm doing hair. So he just wanted to make sure I was able to pay him. So I'm like, all right, I had the money for you. He like, how are we gonna do the payments? I'm like, every Friday, I'm gonna give you money, I'm gonna give you at least like a thousand dollars until I pay you off for everything. So it was getting, but before I had to go to jail, it was getting to the point where he like, um, this might have to go to trial or whatever, you had to pay me again. We're not doing it. Whatever we had to figure out, we're gonna figure this out right here and there. The best deal, as he said, because I thought I was gonna go to jail. I thought I spent damn near $12,000 on it. I thought it was gonna be good money. That was gonna be cool. So, well, it wasn't 12, I'm lying. It was probably like seven.
SPEAKER_02She said 12. That's probably like seven. Okay, so we all do that to the top of it.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, no, yeah, I had to catch myself. That was a little far. But um he like, um, the best deal we got is that you're gonna have to go to jail for 30 days. To me, 30 days is 30 years. Yeah, like what the fuck? I'm like 30. What's the best you want to do?
SPEAKER_05But they're telling you this.
SPEAKER_07Um, was I at court? Yeah, yeah, I was. Yeah, because I had to sign a little paper and all that and all that. And they was like, on this day, you're gonna have to turn yourself in on this day, you're gonna have to go there. I fucked up because I thought I would just go on there for like um probation. I had to go to jail first.
SPEAKER_05Oh, so you didn't even know that you was going to jail.
SPEAKER_07Bro, I went there with my pocketbook.
SPEAKER_04You weren't dressed properly. You had on uh you ain't you ain't putting a bunch of pairs of socks or uh multiple, you know.
SPEAKER_07I went to jail, cute as shit.
SPEAKER_05So where'd you have to go to? You had to go to the actual jail, right? Yeah. And you thought you just was going in there just to, you know, sign some paperwork or some shit. No, no, that's you at the courthouse when that's happened, right?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, but when I went to go turn myself in, I went to the jail when I had my pocketbook with me and all that. I didn't know I was at jail.
SPEAKER_04You thought she was oh man.
SPEAKER_05So you walk you saw this big daughter with bar wires and all the time.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know. My lawyer told me.
SPEAKER_05You ain't known they was gonna keep you.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, my yo, my lawyer told me that you gonna be with the alcoholics and all that and all that. You're gonna be in a separate job. I get there, I'm in intake for like three days.
SPEAKER_05Blew your mind.
SPEAKER_07I said, what the fuck? Yo, why don't you have water here? Niggas keep giving out milk and all that, and all that. The best thing I got during intake was fish. I said, All right, when the fish coming back? I don't know. Damn. But giving fish with milk was like crazy. Then they told me the water was from like the water that was coming from out the joint was from the toilet. It was well watered. I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna die in this joint.
SPEAKER_05Like, so look, let me ask you this. So when you go in there, but they was like, Yeah, we need you to put this purse down and all that right here and come over here.
SPEAKER_07When I came in there, I had weave in my bag, didn't know that.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, yeah.
SPEAKER_07Cause before I came in there, I'm like, I'ma just smoke. Fuck it. I thought that you ain't thinking you go to jail, though. I did not know I was going to jail for real. I thought it was probation. I thought I would just, you know, I you think all the buildings kind of look the same to me. So so I went there and yeah, I seen the gates and all that, but what's it called?
SPEAKER_05George Double Hill W Hill or something?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah. So I go there and like I'm in the NC, they ain't saying nothing about my purse until I walk in there. I had my phone with me and all that. I'm in there chilling. And you still don't know busting it up with them and everything. And I they I just hear the balls like it smells like weed. It smells like weed. And I'm like, why'd you keep saying that? Like, he like, you smell like weed. I'm like, I don't know why you say that. I probably was smoking or something like that. They're like, no, check her bag.
SPEAKER_04I'm like, check my bag.
SPEAKER_07All right, give him the bag. We in jail anyway. That's but I'm thinking I didn't I didn't know we was in jail, but I'm like, well, I'm in here anyway, all these officers and shit. So I'm like, I can leave. Once that door is closed, it was over. So I give him the bag. The nigga find a bag of weed at the bottom of my bag. I was like, what? Then I was so irritated because it was corny weed. That's what pissed me off even more. The bag was like green, because I you you know the bit the weed was too old. So he like, oh yeah. Yeah, uh, call sergeant, da da da da da. I straight going reds. They put me in the in the um, they put me in the intake part with the real bad people. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, I don't even got a phone no more because they move me. They straight move because at first I was good. I was I was able to talk to people. I'll talk to the I'm on, I'm getting free calls. Then they moved me to the drone with no phone in there. I'm mad as hell. I'm high.
SPEAKER_05You did it by yourself?
SPEAKER_07Um, no, it was like it was like two other girls. There was this one stinky girl, that shit was pissing me off. And then with this other girl, she was like, she kept asking like uh for the like for the phone and shit like that. And she was like on saying like little gay stuff, and that shit was pissing me off. Cause like I said, I came to the jail cute. My hair was straight. Yeah. I had my real hair pressed out and all that. I went on some nutshit. So like they they were just saying little shit. And then also when I got to the jail too, like I knew some of the CEOs there. Like, I knew like I went to school with probably like two or three other CEOs. It was like some of the, like, I seen like one female, but most of the, it was mostly guys up there. So I seen some of them. So like some of the females ain't like that, they felt like I was getting treatment, like better treatment than them. Yeah, because niggas was throwing pretzels under the under the jaw for me. Like, hard pretzels or soft pretzels. Hard pretzels. They was hard pressing. I ain't never seen no soft pretzels in jail. Well, they got that.
SPEAKER_05He said they make them out of the uh I never said they make a motherfucking pretzel in jail. You pray like man, hot dog binding time. Oh, oh, that but yeah, that that you don't turn it into a real pretzel, not a hot dog, but a piece of bread. If you take a piece of bread and squeeze it hard as a motherfucker, until it goes to that motherfucker, and then you put some salt on some that motherfucker tastes just like a pretzel.
SPEAKER_07Okay, I mean, because it's bread, but yeah, uh yeah. Strangling the bread.
SPEAKER_05I'm talking about like the how you choke your chicken or something like that. You choke your chicken. Yeah, but you is in the cell now. Now they got you locked in. Yeah, and you ain't asking them like, yo, why am I locked in?
SPEAKER_07Um, no, I said, why I'm in reds now.
SPEAKER_05What's reds mean?
SPEAKER_07Reds is when they change your uniform, because at first I was in blues. They gave you a blue uniform, that means you could be anything. You finna get out prior tomorrow soon. You never know. You get money. Once you go on reds, that means you finna sit here for a little bit. Like, it don't matter if you got bell money, you're gonna sit here until we figure out what's going on until you have a court date, type shit. So when they put me in a red uniform and I don't got no phone, the CEOs hit me with the one second, I'll be right back. I knew it was over for me. Then mind you, that was like they telling me, like, oh yeah, you you was you was supposed to be a weekend dirt, you're not going home. Like you fucking around getting two to four on top. I said, What?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I didn't know it was in my bag.
SPEAKER_07They was doing me and they was fucking me up. Like they was they were just gassing me. So I'm like, all right, yeah, I ain't never coming back here again. Ended up leaving because I never went to the bag. I stayed in the intake for my first three days, my first 48 hours. I go home.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you went home?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I go home. Well, because I'm only doing weekends. I gotta do 15 weekends.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_07That's the 30 days. So instead of me doing it straight, I'm so so kicked. I'm I'm scared. I'm gonna do them them 48 hours. That was good enough for me. And also I had to be able to pay my lawyer. So I thought I'm like, bro, how I'm gonna be able to like pay you if um I do hair. I mo I get most of my money on the weekend and I was doing hair out the salon. So I'm like, I gotta go to work. Like, I'll pay you, but just try to figure out in a way. So I was going to jail on Monday and Tuesday, getting out Wednesday morning.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_07Type shit. Then I'll go straight to work. So um the um when I when I leave, I come back. The bitches didn't like that. I finally come back and now I go back there. Now I'm on B block. B block is considered the hole. I'm like, why do it stink out here? Like, what is going on? Like, y'all don't care about this block. I'm seeing shit everywhere. It was a bitch in there. I will never forget this bitch name, Tiffany. Bitch was who in her hollering, just like she kept singing, like she was a piece of shit. But they had these joints on the door, like the mental health and all that, and all that. I knew she was mental health. And they had the joint for like the suicide, like certain doors. She was like upstairs. They was not supposed to have this bitch upstairs. They put her upstairs. She did some shit to flood the whole jail, to flood the whole joint. So now we shit pissing everything over there. This is my first day in the hole. I'm thinking, like, damn, I gotta stay over here. Like, y'all not gonna move me for like the health. They had the other inmates come over and put on the suits and all that and just clean it up. This is life. This is what y'all gotta do. I gotta go through this, I gotta breathe this in. Ain't no windows. I wasn't feeling it. Like, I was just like overly like, I was like calling my, I couldn't even call my mom because I was still on her. So I'm like, all right, cool. One of the ladies that was, I didn't call it it, she was a bitch. One of those bitches that was working in there, I went to school with her. And I'm thinking she's gonna help me. Cause we was good in school. You was like, you liked me. I thought we was cool. I helped you cheat on school, on test and all that. That girl did not help me. Like, she kept it so professional in those jails. Like, she told me she was gonna help me, like, bring stuff back. And after that, I was like, all right, when I come back, I'm gonna make sure, like, I don't be uncomfortable no more. I'm gonna figure out how to get through this. After that, they told me I don't have to go to B Block anymore. Like, cause I guess that was a quarantine type of thing. But every time I went, because I was a weekender, I still had to go to B block the first like morning, like the first couple of hours or whatever. So I would go there and then I would end up going to um D block. I went to C block. When I went to C block, it was bitches in there that I was not fucking with. Like they was Chester bitches. Fuck Chester. I don't like Chester bitches, they act weird. I don't know just something about them. They just don't fuck with me and I don't fuck with them. Like I get in there, they keep calling me Philly and all that. Like I'm like, all right, like I told you my name. I told you my real name at that. Like, so like you keep calling me Philly, I feel like you you like, all right, you trying, like, I feel like you were trying to press me a little bit because like I already told you my name already. And like, it was just like little trolling shit. Like, it was this one big ass bitch. No, before that, when they told they was like, go to uh C Block 101, Charlie 101. I go over there, I bring my bag, my big actually. I'm carrying that joint through some bitch from London. She like, damn, why should I go to uh why should I be at my joint? I'm like, damn, these bitches is mean in this joint. So I'm still walking, walking. I'm Sullies with the bitch. The bitch basically, long story short, basically saying I was stinking. She goes somewhere. Bush was thinking? Because you might have been. I wasn't stinking. I'm a weakender. I know I'm good money. All right, cool. I know I'm good money, like for sure. Like for these 48 hours, I can't be good money, it's crazy.
SPEAKER_05Like, okay.
SPEAKER_07So when I when she comes back from wherever she was doing, because I don't know much about the jails. She came back, she like mad in the in a uh in a little john, like whatever that is, where you be like going out for free time in the city.
SPEAKER_05Commonary, common area.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, that that that part. She out there, she snapping, talking about, I don't want to go in there with that bitch, that bitch think. Fuck that bitch.
SPEAKER_05And where you at? You in the sub? Oh, I'm just gonna go.
SPEAKER_07I'm like, cause I was I was in there working out.
SPEAKER_05So I'm like, oh, that's probably why she was saying this thing, though, little perspiration.
SPEAKER_07I mean, you get a little get a little click. I look over, I'm like, she talking about me because it sounds like my celly. I'm like, she talking about me. So the joint, I heard a joint open up. I push the joint open. I'm like, I'm like, she talking about me. She like, uh, yeah, fuck you, bitch. I'm like, damn, all that. She like, bitch, you stink. All right, best say that. Give me my she like, give me my shit. I mean, get my shit. Instead of the CEO coming in here, grabbing her shit. She tried to walk in with the bitch, walk in. I'm on the top bunk too. Like, she walk in, bitch throw a hard book in my face.
SPEAKER_05A hard who?
SPEAKER_07Hard book.
SPEAKER_05Oh, a book. Or a hard baby book, yeah.
SPEAKER_07Hard book in my face. I didn't even know they do that in jail.
SPEAKER_05Did it hit you?
SPEAKER_07What? Right in the face. That bitch got a clean one right on my nose. That shit. Oh, what? No, I ain't cry.
SPEAKER_04Cause you can hit your nose, you can you can make you cry.
SPEAKER_07I took that book, I threw it right back at that bitch. And I'm like, damn, like at that point I wanted to rumble, but I'm like, damn, I can't rumble because I know I'm a weakender. I don't want to do some shit where I gotta stay. Yeah, so I gotta remember that. Like, don't let these bitches get you, bro. Don't let them get you. So um, she ended up going to the hole because of that.
SPEAKER_05Oh, the okay.
SPEAKER_07Put her in the hole. So whatever her homie, whatever the bitch cool, whatever, she a big bitch. She a bitch that be cleaning the block or whatever. She come out on the block, I'm in it, I'm in the in the cell, whatever. Anytime you get into a rumble, you gotta go to medical. So I had to go to medical. Even if I said I was cool or not, you have to go.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_07So I go there on my way back. I'm hearing this bitch cleaning up. She cleaned up and all that. Bitch to my you are red, you a red, you are red, and all that, and all that. I'm like, yeah.
SPEAKER_05This her homie saying that.
SPEAKER_07Yes. I'm like, yeah.
SPEAKER_05So did you tell on her?
unknownI did.
SPEAKER_07She the CEO came in there. It was not for me to say. She seen her do it.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_07So it was not for me to say, I didn't have to say anything. I just had to go to medical. So when I came back, bitch is talking about uh, yeah, you a rat, you a rat. I'm like, who? But I know this bitch voice. Like, cause she, when I seen her, like her door was open. It's like she just got done cleaning, but I didn't know who it was. But I know this is the bitch they be cleaning or whatever. Big bitch, big bitch. So I'm like, I'm like, ain't nobody no red. Make sure you come out next time when they open these doors, make sure you come out and run with me, type shit. Like, but when I'm saying it, I shouldn't have been saying it because I'm saying it while the guards is in there and all that. Like, I should have just kept it, you mean? But I'm like, bitches already saying something to me, so I'm gonna say something back. What are they talking about? So I go in my I go in my cell. I was about to say my room, which is crazy. I go in the cell and all that. And at this time I'm by myself. So I'm like, I can't wait. I can't wait to come back out. I come back out and all that. She don't come out. She keeps her drone closed. I'm like, all right, fuck it. So next story, long story short, I end up leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back. We be having our little, our little say-sos saying shit to each other. And like one day, I said to the bitch, I'm like, bitch, it's stink in here. Like, but I'm in the joint getting money though. I ain't gonna lie. That's why I said I ain't really getting no commissary because I was in there doing hair. So bitches give me little noodles and all that, give me some uh give me a good juice, not the gel juice packet. Like they give me the the good joint. I'm being I'm in there eating good. So bitches is mad. This bitch been in here for forever long. They done seen you transform to a to a little guppy to a big bitch. From all the little food you done you done accumulated and all the shit you done made in this bitch. They like you because I hear them saying you got big, bro. Bitch never on the phone, none of this. So like I'm coming in there and my like I'm looking cool, I'm sm I'm smelling like something. These bitches ain't never smell perfume. And like when I'm coming in there, they asking me about the outside. Like they asking me about shit and all that. And I'm telling them, just green as shit, just telling them all that running my mouth, just loose. So one day, uh the bitch, she uh I'm doing a bitch hair or whatever, just got some blue Doritos. Blue Doritos at that time was money. The cool red joints, yeah. Oh man, it's money. So you got blue Doritos, you're getting money right now. So I'm doing a bitch hair, I'm eating a little Dorito, Mom eating a little Dorito. The bitch walked past, I'm like, this thing. She looked at me, she like, bitch, you wanna fight? I'm thinking, I'm thinking she don't really want to fight. Cause we already argued a couple times. She really wanted to pop on me. She would have been popped on me weekends ago, like Tuesdays ago. This bitch socked me right in my shit. Woke me the fuck up. I said, oh, okay, we fighting. Like, all right, but I squeeze up with the bitch starting going in. Like I said, this is a big bitch. So I know what I'm thinking. I can't stop swinging. Yeah. I'm a big female too, like, but this is a heavy weighter bitch. So I'm like, I'm running. Oh, okay, oh, okay. BB dubs. Right. Right. So I'm running her, I'm beating her up so bad, we run into another motherfucker's cell. So I'm like, fuck it, we, I'm talking to her. I'm like, fuck it, we locking in now, bitch. We locking in there, bitch. You want to rumble? We only, I'm dicking her crazy. All of a sudden, I feel my hair get pulled from the back. I hit the ground because I know I'm doing good. Cause I ain't this big bitch. I just wanted to make sure I didn't hit the ground. Like she can hit me all I want. As long as I don't hit the ground, this big bitch, I'm good money. Like, I'm not, she ain't gonna get on top of me. I'm cool. I feel my hair get pulled from the back. I hit the ground, I'm like, fuck. Then I open my eyes. I'm seeing a bitch with light-skinned ankles. I'm like, who the fuck I'm beefing with with light-skinned ankles on the block? The bitch came back, I didn't peep it. The bitch came back from the hole and the.
SPEAKER_05She back on the block.
SPEAKER_07She back and she ride for a homegirl. We rumbling and all that and all that. So the bitch knocking me all of my shit, kicking me all of my shit, and all that. I'm like, damn, I finally get up. Some this one bitch is crazy. Cause I seen her once I like was done with all that. I seen her and she was back on that shit again at the store, and it kind of hurt my heart. Cause she would the one that broke it up. Not because she broke it up, but she seemed like she really was a good person, but it looked like the drugs just took her. And just like just fucked her up.
SPEAKER_04But she was on the deuce.
SPEAKER_07Probably. Because when I seen her, like she just looked terrible. Like she didn't even look like how she looked in a jail. And that's like when you probably cleanest. So I'm like, damn, like her lips look terrible. Like she just looked bad. Like, it just looked bad. So um she broke up the fight and all that. And she was like big bitch number two on the block. I was fighting the biggest bitch on the block. She the second biggest bitch, she break it up and all that, and all that. So I get up and I try to get the bitch that originally hit me. Like, well, the the the light skinned bitch that hit me. This bitch go lock herself in. I'm like, why y'all locking yourselves in? These bitches trying to tell me to be quiet so they can be able to come back out. I ain't gonna lie, them bitches have probably had like uh, they probably got out probably like four times in a day. Like probably like three, four times in a day. Like they was outside, like they came out a lot. They wasn't in their cell for a long time unless they went to sleep. So they trying to tell me, like, oh, you a weakender, like don't come fucking up our time. Like you gonna you gonna rumble her when you rumble her, like just go back in the cell, just just be quiet. So I'm like, all right, fuck it. Y'all tell me I'm gonna get her, I'm gonna get her. So I go in the cell, I'm mad and shit. My hands all swollen, I got blood over my hands and all that. I wrap my hand up with uh one of my shirts that I had. No, it was a pair of panties, it was something in my hand. I wrapped it around my hand. And I was trying to come back out to fight. Soon I before, because I knew it was a time before it was like 12:30 or whatever, because this happened early in the day. Like it was probably like 8 a.m. we rumbling and all that. Probably 7, 8 a.m. we rumbling. The the time where we're about to get buzzed out, I'm watching the clock. Cause I'm able to see the clock from where I'm at. I'm grateful. Like, bitch is not able to see the clock from where they are. I was able to watch the clock and tell the time. So I'm like, all right, yeah, we about to get out soon, probably like 12:45, whatever. My joint get opened up probably like 12.15. I'm like, oh shit. My celly go out the joint. CO like, no, go back in. I'm like, all right. They like, um Johnson, come outside real quick, come out here real quick. I take the joint my hand. I just go out there, try to like make sure it was nothing. The um, she like, yeah, you gonna D block. I'm like, D-Block, why I'm going to D-Block? I know what I was trying to do. I wasn't trying to leave. I know that the big bitch, I just was fighting girlfriend over there. And I know on D-block, you gotta be, you gotta fight a little bit more pride. So, like, I'm like, damn.
SPEAKER_05You want to try to go over there with the D-block?
SPEAKER_07I wasn't trying to go to D-block. It's dangerous over here. They sent me right over there. It wasn't even dinner time yet. Dinner time like four or five o'clock. Yeah. So I'm over there, and um as soon as I got over there, I'm peeping the scenery. I see the one bitch. Cause I was also playing basketball too. So when I was in there, I was playing basketball, I was able to see the other side, the other block. So I was able to see like certain bitches, and while I'm playing ball, I'm seeing the big bitch over there to go talk to her girlfriend through the window and all that, and all that. So I know who is who when I get to the other block, but I don't know if they know me.
SPEAKER_04Listen, couldn't uh when when you when you just when you use the term uh big B-I-T-C-H, are you referring to like a uh a chubby person or a tall person?
SPEAKER_07Both combination.
SPEAKER_04Damn.
SPEAKER_07That was a big bitch. Like she was really big. So like I um when they tell me go over there, I'm like, all right. I sit down, I'm peeping at the girls over there and all that. I'm like, all right, they look like they like everybody on the block, they fuck with each other. Like, I know for a fact I'm an outsider for sure. So I go in there, my celly a white girl. She probably like trying to like do her subs and all that and all that, trying to get herself together. I don't know. But I could tell she a fiend and she ain't on it. So she eats her food, come out. I don't come out to eat. I stay inside, I get my food, I go back in. My John, I got, I don't know why I keep getting top bunks. That's a bad thing.
SPEAKER_03He could he went through that a lot too.
SPEAKER_07No, I heard you think you know you done.
SPEAKER_05No, top bunks ain't a bad thing.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, but you never got the top bunks. So tell you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I always got a top bunk. But it's got to be a big thing. I love fights where you can kick that face, he said. Yeah, you get top bunk, you got action to whoop a motherfucker ass faster than you can on that bottom.
SPEAKER_07I'm glad you said that. Okay, cool. I'm glad you said that. So dinner time, my celly don't come back in. And I'm like, all right.
SPEAKER_05This one D-block.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Bitch ain't come back in after she ate. So I'm like, I know. It's either we got a little bit more free time over here, or this bitch, she don't fuck me, she don't want to come back in. I'm thinking about all this, but I'm like, she a fiend, fuck it. She ain't on nothing. I see the bitch that was the girlfriend of the big girl that I was fighting. She coming myself. I'm sitting on top of my join. And uh, no, yeah, because I just put my tray in. I just came back out and I see my celly, she was still out there eating and all that. I go back in there by myself, I go back on my john on the top, but that's why I say in the top bunk, I didn't have a second step. So it was only one step that was only for the first joint. So the one to get to the top joint, it was missing. So I had to climb on top. So like when the joint came in, the girl she came in, she like um, she like, why the fuck you was fighting my girlfriend? I'm like, because that bitch wanted to fight. That's why she like, all right, well, you gotta fight me. I'm like, I look out the window, I see all these shadows. I said, Oh yeah, y'all bitches about to jump me. I said, bro, I stand up. She like, why you why you standing up? I'm like, bro, y'all bitches not about to jump me. I said, Y'all bitches not about to jump me. Instead a little louder. She like, why you getting loud? She like, shut up, why you getting loud? I'm like, y'all bitches. Now trying to get the attention. I'm like, why are all these bitches at my joint? Mind you, where my cell at? Like how it's one of them like little um joined them block is right there. It was like a blockage right in front of my cell in the the the um whatever thing is, the little thing at the top where the the the uh the little cub at the top where the officers be at and all that, it was only like one lady in there. So she wasn't paying attention like that. She was like one of the cool ones, little dyke lady. She was cool, but she was too cool for that shift. She should have been on point. Yeah, okay. She you ain't right. She should have she should have been on point. So the bitch coming in my joint, she like, she like, I'm not leaving until we get it on, type shit. So I'm like, all right, I'm not fighting you. Y'all about to jump me. The bitch pulled me by my ankles. She like, we're gonna fight. I'm like, all right, fuck it. I hit her with one of these. You know what I'm saying? So I fall on top of her. I see all the metal around, so I'm bitching. Like, I'm like, these bitches about to come in here and whoop my ass. As soon as I jump on top of the bitch and I do my john, I look up, I see all the bitches flooring in. I said, Oh. Bitches started whooping my ass. These little bitches started getting me. But I'm like, don't hit the ground, like, get up real quick. Because I'm like, I'm not on the ground, I'm on top of this bitch. But if I let these bitches get on top of me, I'm gonna be on the ground. So I'm like, get up, you a big bitch. Embrace it. Get up, get up. I'm backing these bitches off me. I'm like, I just gotta get out the cell. Like, I can't let them close the door on me. Like, I was bitching, I'm thinking hoes had pencils and stuff, and what's gonna poke me and all that and all that. Because mind you, my brother that was in the streets, we locked up at the same jail at the same time. I didn't know when I was going through my fight and shit like that, like probably like a day or two, my brother just got stabbed up too. Like, real bad. And I'm trying to figure out why my mom wasn't answering the phone and all that and all that. Like, so like people in the jails, they already knew who I was just from that. Like, and I'm just like, like, you mean? So, like when I'm uh when I'm trying to back myself out this out the cell, know that I ain't gonna lie. I'm like, guard. Help, guard. Bitch say, shut up. I said, oh my god, you bitches is so mean. Like, that's why I'm thinking I'm like, oh, these bitches is so mean. I'm like, I gotta get big. Like, fuck that. So I get out, wow, finally get out the cell. I never let go of the mean bitch that finally got in my cell that came in my cell initially. Cause I'm like, I can't let this bitch go. Cause she started this shit. Like, I'm killing this bitch when I finally get out. I'm killing her, like rocking her. Like, and that's when I don't know, that's when they found the the lady finally came down. The CO finally came down, but at that time, I'm losing stamina. Like, these girls is whooping me. Like, they is like trying to bum rush me in the corner, like I'm trying to push back and still keep this one bitch in my hand and still keep making sure I leave my mark on this bitch because she don't ever do this again. I think she can do this again to another bitch, thinking that you're tough like that. So this the CO finally come and she it only it was only her that can. And then that's when she started calling people and all that. I ain't gonna lie, they leaked me crazy. They like, but it was only in the mouth though. So I'm like, all right, cool. I start spitting on bitches. Take my blood, tuh, tuh. I was mad. I was just thinking that anything I can do, because they had my arms, like they wouldn't let me go. I'm like, no, like we can line it up. Like I was trying to really rumble with bitches. I'm like, we can really do it. Like, but they knew I'm like uh it's not gonna be an easy run. So they ended up again taking me to medical and all that. I um I ended up having uh go to A Block. A block is like where the trannies be at the What's a tranny?
SPEAKER_04A transmission for a car. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_07A tranny is uh a man or a woman that is switching their roles, their gender.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_07Something that they prefer.
SPEAKER_04So it it'll be a man that's in there acting like a woman.
SPEAKER_07No.
SPEAKER_04Where I'm at the he had to have the whole surgery surgery.
SPEAKER_07No, no, where I'm at, it's a woman that's trying to be a man.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_07So it was he was named like his name was like Timothy or something like that. I don't know. He was cool, he was giving me noodles and all that. So and I'm gonna call him he because that's where he, you know, he wanted to be.
SPEAKER_04I'm asking your question, cause a lot of times I I know you I I know you're only a weekend warrior, but I gotta ask you this question. Um, when you went there, did you develop a relationship with another woman in there?
SPEAKER_07No, no, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah, no. I was not letting them Joe bitches touch me. No. It was probably like one little little art-looking joint in there, but like she was letting other girls touch her. Get with it. Like you would never you would never touch me. Like, just because a girl look okay, don't mean that she is okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I agree. I agree. Um So you don't these these weekend uh warriors uh uh stints with with inside the um and it's like you you in there fighting. Was it any time that they denied your release when I when I let you home for the I stay longer? Or always let you go on after 48 hours?
SPEAKER_07Um it was probably like my second to my last john. Um my second to my last week in here. I'm literally in the intake room, about to leave. The sergeant john, one of the sergeants, we always was going back and forth with each other, like, cause I knew that I wasn't gonna stay long. So it was always, fuck y'all, like I'm never gonna respect y'all because y'all always saying little smart shit to me. So I'm gonna always say smart shit to y'all because I don't live here with y'all. Y'all don't have to tell me what to do after 48 hours. So I was always popping my little shit too. So she um she held me in for like an extra two to three hours, like one day. And I was so mad, like I was so mad. She wasn't supposed to do that. She actually kind of got in trouble for it because she wasn't supposed to do that.
SPEAKER_04Like, anything can happen, you ain't supposed to be there.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I was I was supposed to be there for 48 hours. That's what the contract was, and that's what it was. So you trying to be petty and all that and all that, you trying to wait until you get off work, which was corny, like, yeah. I'm like, where the uh I said lieutenant, yeah, because that's that's what I was running for. I was snitching, I was in there snatching. Where's lieutenant?
SPEAKER_04But you was a snitch.
SPEAKER_07No, I wasn't snitching, I'm guessing. I was snitching on the guards.
SPEAKER_04Oh, on the guards.
SPEAKER_07On the guards. I'm like, sh this bitch not doing her job. Like, why she not letting me out? Like, like, no, like get me out of here. Yeah, I'm calling Lieutenant. Ripping the other girls, like, I was fighting them.
SPEAKER_04Wow. So uh now you uh let's talk about you getting done with the program.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, alright. I got done. That was um I had to go on house arrest. After that, I had to you gotta pay to go on house arrest. They didn't know that either. Like that kind of irritated me. I had to pay like it was like $900 for that. Cause I think it's like you gotta pay every day that you're on house arrest or something like that.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_07So um I paid for that and I was on house arrest for about like I think it was like two months, three months or whatever. It was terrible. I hated it. Um I was able to go to work, but it was more like a curfew type of thing. Like I wasn't just in here for 24 hours, like I was able to go to work and stuff like that. And it was cool, it was cool because like I was kind of like making it, I try to make it cool. Like, even like with like me being in jail, when I know it's not cool, I try to try my best to try to like make it not cool, but like comfortable after a while, should I say? Like, I try to adapt to it after a while, like if I can. So I'm I'm I'm at home and I'm been on the gram about it and all that. Like, I'm like, y'all, can y'all send me some food or something? Like, I'm at they sending me the food, like they like been with me on the gram. Like, you know, some guys like that's be a fetish for them, like bad girls and all that. Like, see a girl with a oh, what's she do? And anyone knows your story, and then they want to send you some money, like, oh so like that was just another thing too. So I was trying to embrace the negative that I was going through.
SPEAKER_04So you get house arrests. Was it 90 days?
SPEAKER_06Uh yeah, I think so, yeah. Yeah. It was 90 days.
SPEAKER_04And now you you get a house arrest, and are you still on probation now?
SPEAKER_07It was a two-year probation.
SPEAKER_04Oh, so you done. Are you gonna run anybody else over? You think you're gonna hit somebody with a uh use your car as a weapon?
SPEAKER_07Uh uh, I just did not too long ago. I ain't hit them, but it was like, get out of here, type thing. Like, move.
SPEAKER_05So you threatened. So you you ain't learned your lesson. Couldn't have. You couldn't have. You playing with that motherfucker penitentiary wall still. But I said I tell you one thing, go ahead and hit another motherfucker if you want to.
SPEAKER_04Oh, the second time. They're gonna do something.
SPEAKER_05You wanna slide down a razor blade into a goddamn alcohol?
SPEAKER_07But but but but but that's only if they snitch.
SPEAKER_05Oh, they gonna snitch. You just knock the motherfucker off a bike or something. You think they're gonna I don't know who did it. That was a random person. It's gonna be probably somebody the motherfucker that you think that ain't random is gonna be the one that snitched faster than a random person.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, you're right. Yeah. That nigga was emotional.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you need to stay away from that, though. You should learn from that, them weekends, man, that you did in there, man. Yeah, yeah. You know, plus you gotta get a little older. I've been your age, you gotta get my age. So with that, with with with age comes wisdom. Yeah. You know, I could tell as a right now, I could pretty much say that you ain't really you ain't learned a lesson from that.
SPEAKER_07No, I was like, no, probably from running a random person over like on some road race stuff.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. No, no, but running nobody over there. Nobody think about a car to a human. We gotta start somewhere. Yeah, we got we gotta start. Come on, a car running over a human being.
SPEAKER_07Okay, so I rather use my car than me fight a man.
SPEAKER_04Hey, yo, would you rather get ran over by a car or get shot?
SPEAKER_07How fast the car going? Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Ran over by a car or shot. Yeah, I might take my yeah. Go ahead and hit me with that motherfucking car, man.
SPEAKER_03Like, no, I ain't gonna hit no more people. Talk about one shot. Like, what does what?
SPEAKER_05Nah, I ain't going for that, man. Go ahead, go ahead and knock me to the side with this motherfucker.
SPEAKER_03And then run over you.
SPEAKER_05But is that cool? Because that should be that I had my leg rolled over before. That should be a quick little pain. That's it. Pass is fleeting. Break your femur bone, you done, man. So what happened with your with your last when you when it was time for you to serve your last weekend? Did you know like this is my last weekend I'm doing right here?
SPEAKER_07Oh, um, no, I said I had like, I said I ain't doing no more weekends. I said, fuck that, I'ma stay.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you stayed?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I stayed.
SPEAKER_05So how many days left you had all together?
SPEAKER_07I think I had like probably like 15 days left.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you stayed and did the whole 15 days out.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I just like fuck it. I'm gonna. I think I it was like probably 18 or 15 days I had left. I was like, fuck it. Cause I'm like, damn, this is gonna keep going, and I'm not gonna be able to do anything. Like, this is gonna go off for months rather than me just just do the like just do it. Like, I'm like, okay, better put a big girl panties on. And another thing too, before I made that decision, I was like, damn, like we went, we I'm gonna struggle a little bit because I knew the other girls, like, I was helping them. Like, I will go home, put on extra panties and bras and know that they give it to them. Cause they wasn't doing it in a jail. They hit you with the hold on one second, they don't come back. Like, so like I was doing, I was helping them in types of ways. So it was like, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna make the decision for myself. Ain't nobody getting help no more. Like, I'm gonna need help probably in this drone. So like it is what it is. Like, so once I made the decision, I'm like, uh, they started treating me a little different, but I was I stayed on um on A Block. They ain't let me go on D block, they didn't let me go on C block. Cause it was like, you you all everybody you fight is over there. They're like, you ain't gonna be able to go over there no more. So they like, we don't have enough CEOs to watch you and all this and all that. So I had to I had to go on A block with the people that they would say got like deformities.
SPEAKER_05But shit, you that should have been a smooth.
SPEAKER_07But it was comfortable.
SPEAKER_04That 15 days straight, did you suffer any heartbreak? Like, did you did your dude leave you alone? No, go to jail.
SPEAKER_07Uh first day I I seen that happen. After I got out of intake and the calls were no longer free, you had to pay for 'em, he stopped answering.
SPEAKER_05It was over. You tried to call him though?
SPEAKER_07Definitely try to call him. But I had I had a list. I wrote it on my hand, like all the different guys that I needed help from, type shit. Even one of my homies and type shit. Like all the ones I know would at least like they cared about me. Even though just like not on no um sexual type of thing, like because just guys that just acted like I just want the best for you, type shit. So I had probably like like four different people that I wrote down on my hand. And I just made sure that I kept my hand dry so the oil was in, like, messed up the ink or nothing like that. So uh once I got a piece of paper, I wrote it on the piece of paper. I kept my paper with me everywhere I went and all that. And um I called my homie, my homie fees, he put some money on my books, but I had like probably like two different guys that was putting money on my books and putting so it was my phone and it was the the um the books. So that was two different things. I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_04So the books JPEG and um JPay is for the phone, right?
SPEAKER_07I don't know. I just I don't know. They was they was doing it. I just know I just wanted to watch movies on my table. Once I was watching.
SPEAKER_04You had a tablet too?
SPEAKER_07I was that was good money. I was I was eating, chilling.
SPEAKER_04That 15 days went fast.
SPEAKER_07No, it didn't. Not to me. No, it didn't. It felt like those 48 hours felt like fire. Like it just felt terrible. When you're not used to that, everything in there is terrible.
SPEAKER_05When you came upon your last day, did you know it was gonna be your last day or the counselor had to tell you something like yo, tomorrow you go home?
SPEAKER_07It was my last day, but I didn't get released on my last day. I got released on the next day.
SPEAKER_05Oh, so you had to do your last day. Yeah, that's how it goes 12 o'clock at night. I mean, in the morning.
SPEAKER_07I didn't know that. So I'm mad at everybody, like you think you ready to come home this day.
SPEAKER_05No, you got to do this day. Yo, then you go home.
SPEAKER_07I said, Oh, really? I said, triple, you not doing your job? Like, no, we gotta talk about this when I get released. Like, we gotta talk about this.
SPEAKER_05If your date is on the 10th, you don't come home the 10th, you come home the 11th. Yeah, that's crazy. Because you got to do that day still.
SPEAKER_07Don't don't put release date on on that day then. That's not cool. That because that's mind games.
SPEAKER_05That's so you thought you was going home that day, but you would you got up and went went around telling people like that?
SPEAKER_07You gave my shit away. Like, I was giving my stuff away, my clothes, I gave away my food.
SPEAKER_05So, what part of the day did you know that damn, I ain't going nowhere?
SPEAKER_07At nighttime. Once I seen the day, like because it was it was a certain time where they would release people, like after that second round, ain't nobody because they didn't release nobody at nighttime. I think they would only do that for like the men or something. Like, no, they did do it for the women too. But like, but they didn't do a lot of the nighttime release often from what I was able to see or whatever. But like, so I'm like, damn, I know I ain't get released at nighttime. That wasn't what we planned with me and Trimble playing, like me, my lawyer ain't playing. Like, you know, I gotta go to work. I'm like, damn, I must be staying. My folk, they like, yeah. And and the um the CEO, she like, I'm looking at the paper and I don't really see. So I'm like, tomorrow, I'm mad. Like, I'm like, tomorrow seem like forever.
SPEAKER_05Like that one overnight was longer than the 18 days.
SPEAKER_07Was it? Oh my god. I I couldn't go to sleep. I didn't go to sleep, like until I was home. I didn't know.
SPEAKER_05Did they what time of the day did they they kicked you out early?
SPEAKER_07No, I had to wait till like 12 o'clock. Yeah, that pissed me off even more. That's a whole nother day in my mind. Yeah, the morning over. Like, shoot, we in evening time.
SPEAKER_05They called you to that door.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, they they called me to the door, and it was the same sergeant lady, that same lady, and I knew it was her that you made it take that long. Like, I'm supposed to be out this joint by like 10. Like, come on, lady. 10, maybe 11 at the most. Like, 12, 12:30, like that's excessive. Like, that's too much. Cause I'm not supposed to be like a regular person that's getting released. I'm a weekender. It's in the contract every Wednesday where I'm supposed to be leaving. So that's what that was.
SPEAKER_04And now you done, and you said that you don't have a problem with running somebody over again.
SPEAKER_07No, I won't. I ain't gonna.
SPEAKER_04Second tr second time they will send you.
SPEAKER_07Stop. No, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, no. I'm really not. I'm gonna chill. Like, I really be trying to. I be, I don't.
SPEAKER_04But you off probation now and you're trying to live a civilized life and do the right thing. Yeah. I'm assuming. Um, hold on. One question. They um you mentioned something. You said you said you was you was you was uh robbing robbing dudes. What do you mean by robbing? Would you rob them at gunpoint? Why would you robbing them?
SPEAKER_07No, not robbing at gunpoint. Like it would be some guys, like um, like I snuck in a crib before.
SPEAKER_04Why they wasn't there?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, why they wasn't there.
SPEAKER_04What's the most you what's the most you got when you broke in some of my house?
SPEAKER_07Um, like I might take jewelry or something like that. Take like witness staff or something like that. Like I wasn't just like talking to like just crummy guys. Like I just know like he might got something somewhere. Like it's something to me. Like, if I can take $2,000 from a nigga, that was that was good enough. If I could take $500 from somebody, that was good enough. I even was stealing weed, taking weed. Um, like I like little stuff like that. It was never like gunpoint. I could say I'll probably line something up some type of way, like, but it wasn't on no point where it was like So you lined a dude up to get robbed by some other guys? Um, something like that. Maybe beat up.
SPEAKER_04Maybe beat up. I mean, hey, listen, it's your story. You tell it. Hey, um, you ever uh Ralph Smite with some jewelry and jewelry was fake?
SPEAKER_07Um, I don't know. I don't know. I never really tested it to see if it was fake. What you do with the jewelry?
SPEAKER_06I don't know.
SPEAKER_07Um, like I was selling it on the street. Like I would I never went to the like the place, I'll I'll give it away on the street. Like I'll be like, yeah, I got this, uh. Like, and one of my homies will tell they homie or whatever and be like, yeah, I got this, or show them, and they will give me the money for it.
SPEAKER_04Oh wow. So people you you you got a real interesting story. People kind of got your story up here. So where can people find you at? What if they looking for you? Where they where do they find you at?
SPEAKER_07My Instagram is Trap Shorty R A P P S H A W T Y underscore.
SPEAKER_04We're about to get to um um phone lines at 215-316-4492. 215-316-4492. They're about to ask you a lot of questions. I believe they're gonna be calling us. Got over 200 people in there. They wanted to ask you some questions, so just be prepared. Test it out. Uh test the phone line. I'll make sure we got we good action. Yeah, y'all 215-316-4492. 215-316-4492. And also, if you need home care services, excuse me. Home care services, you need home care home care services, contact CareR Us. It's 215 315. I'm sorry, 267-315-9490. 267-315-9490. We heard something in there. Um, also the uh Care Us has uh daily and weekly pay. Uh is a phone call in there? Uh Telson Jills. Your phone breaking up, man.
SPEAKER_05You gotta turn down your radio or something, bro. We can't hear you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's not, it's not, it's not, I can't hear. Might be our phone lines. Something going on with our phones, man. Something going on. But once again, care us 267-315-9490. If you need home care services, contact them today. They're located at 4001 Main Street, Philadelphia, PA 19127. Excuse me. Yeah, the phone lines is uh I don't know what's going on. We gotta figure out what's going on with the phone lines, man. But um, they are open. And for you, like what do you what do you got coming up? Yeah, it's not it's not working in Tophy. It's like it's like real like uh chippy. Um for you, what you what do you have um coming up? Like something what are you doing uh, you know, that people can look out for you look out for?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I just wrapped a song. It's called Turkey.
SPEAKER_04Um Turkey, why why why you name it turkey?
SPEAKER_07Um in Philly, we call it people turkey, like Oh like hate turkey.
SPEAKER_06Oh you a turkey.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Oh, okay. So you so you calling a uh a guy like he turkey? Like I heard somebody call him a turkey before?
SPEAKER_06A turkey, yeah. You got called a turkey before?
SPEAKER_05No. Why is the phone just acting like this? It's just over.
SPEAKER_04He got we gotta get a uh different setup, I guess. We'll figure it out. But um I'm about to hang it up, Tofi. So somebody call somebody calling you, uh calls my turkey. And this was directed to men or directed to women?
SPEAKER_07Um, I mean Yeah, it was more so generally men.
SPEAKER_04So this is one of your ex exes?
SPEAKER_07Uh no, it was general.
SPEAKER_04Oh general, okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_07Nobody specific.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I might have to send that to him. Send me a link so I can send it to him. I think it's um so yeah, once again, people can find you on all platforms.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, um, Trap Shruti on Instagram. You can just type in Roxanne 2, R O C S A N N Two N's Find me on Epic Music, TikTok, anywhere, all platforms, literally.
SPEAKER_04And Matha, what made you decide to be a rapper?
SPEAKER_07Um, I just feel like music was just like inevitable for me. Like everybody loved just doing the music, everybody loved it. Like everybody I was around was always rapping in some type of way. Like or if they wasn't rapping, they was dancing. If it like, even if it was like um whatever religion, I just feel like everybody was doing something that was showing like they they love music. Like with my family, like because I grew up in a Christian family, it was like a lot of like singing and praise dancing and all that too.
SPEAKER_06So But rather than it, everybody loved it. Everybody loved music, so I just had to too.
SPEAKER_04And listen, y'all, we're about to get up out of here, man. Um, unfortunately, we gotta work on the phone lines, man. Maybe next time we had the phone lines available. And we got some uh, you know, uh real interesting guests coming up as well. But we want to thank you for coming here today and being a part of the podcast. And um, is there anything you want to say before before we get up out of here?
SPEAKER_07Um type in, follow me, support me, get to know me. Y'all can ask me questions or whatever. Y'all can be messy too. It was cute. Thank you for inviting me up here.
SPEAKER_05Typical girl, typical woman.
SPEAKER_07I really appreciate it. Y'all were so nice and respectful and cool. And things like that.
SPEAKER_05But you thought it was gonna be anything other than that? No. You thought we were gonna be up here on some old ham dogs?
SPEAKER_07Well, you be scaring me because you're gonna be.
SPEAKER_05Oh my goodness, now I'm just scared.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah. You be you you be like yelling at the niggas. You be putting niggas right in check and all this.
SPEAKER_05Oh my goodness, man.
SPEAKER_07I would hate to be in me and find you. No shit.
SPEAKER_05But we're getting old now, man. We're getting old.
SPEAKER_04Okay, you got any questions for a young hypothetical question. Oh, I mean, yeah, I can't think of nothing off top of the dome now, duty. But yeah, so uh once again, us, uh, the episode will be available uh almost immediately if you if you want to listen to it or watch it all over again. It'll be available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music. Um we on we on Kick, Twitch. You'll be able to see clips of the actual interview on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, all platforms we will be available where you can watch this actual uh interview or clips of it if you miss it. Um don't forget uh that Tell us from the Gels will be airing uh every day at 5.30 Monday through Friday live. Bite it up out of here. Anything you want to say y'all before we get about it?
SPEAKER_05No, that's it, man. Think, man. Be reasonable, man. Think, man, make it towards the end of the week just to get to the next week. You know, but think, man. Extra two to three seconds, man, can either change your life or destroy your life.
SPEAKER_04I don't believe you said you want to get you ready to get hit by a car to get shot. That was like a big thing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, I ain't trying to get shot, man. You go ahead.
SPEAKER_04All right, let me add a little bit, add a little bit more to it. A car going at 60 miles per hour, get hit by that's pretty fast. That's fast.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna still take my chance with that car. That motherfucker, especially if I can do it like halfway, like I can just let you hit all the back of his ass and shit. Like I just give you the left side. Yeah, I go ahead and get baby. I can now stand in and take it full on. Yeah, I take that side hit.
SPEAKER_07I probably if you could have gotten shy, you could have got just skin.
SPEAKER_05No, I mean I don't know how that's gonna turn out. A big four pound something. See, I know how that little side hit gonna turn out. I done been hit with a car two in my life already. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_07You got you got hit by a gun.
SPEAKER_05Yes, plenty of times. Not going 60 miles for a job. No, not going 60 miles, but shit. I should jumped out of car windows going 60 miles per an hour and all that. I got shot.
SPEAKER_04I'd rather I'd rather I'd rather get uh I'd rather think see. I see what cars do when you get hit. I saw somebody get hit by a car, arms got knocked off.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, so that was a that was a violent crash right there. That's gonna be yeah, but that's that's gonna be your outcome right there. Like I showed you the video when the girls was playing around and they was doing the drag racing, and that joint they died. They died. They was they was out the windows, and that joint was spinning doing donuts, and it flipped and landed on the side they was on. Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, see, that's a violent, that's a correct accident.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you hit by a car, it's like the girl who got hit by the car. Her arm her arms is over there, and her body was over here.
SPEAKER_05Yes, yeah. I that's a that's a that's an accident. That's 50 miles per hour, bro. So like that.
SPEAKER_04So that's that's probably gonna be the outcome. So give me that little I mean get shot. I'll take that. That's good. So yeah, thank y'all for tuning in. Anything else you want to say before we get up out of there?
SPEAKER_07Um, no, just thank you for everything. You guys are awesome.
SPEAKER_04For sure. And thank you for being a part of the show. I want to thank everybody for tuning in. Thank everybody who's been watching uh tell us from the gels and supporting Tells from the Gels. Shout out to Tolfique, shout out to Cottie, thank y'all. It's Tells from the Gels. We up out of here. Enjoy your night. Stay safe.