Catherine Castle

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:10

Well, welcome to another episode of Drop in Knowledge. Um, today we are joined by Catherine Castle, um, someone who I've met in the last year or so, um, and came a little interested in her story uh because I think she fits some of the things that we want to talk about. And um so I'm not gonna give any of the background, I'm just gonna kind of jump in. Okay. Um, so welcome.

SPEAKER_06 0:36

Thank you. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_07 0:37

Happy New Year, by the way.

SPEAKER_06 0:38

Yeah, same to y'all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 0:39

So this is our first of 2026.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Yeah, exciting.

SPEAKER_07 0:43

Um, probably should have a move.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

So, really quick. Um, do you do New Year's resolution goals? Anything like that?

SPEAKER_06 0:49

Um, I feel like the gym is my goal that I've had for 10 years that I've um continued on with that I thoroughly enjoy. So, no, no new year, no new ones. Good deal.

SPEAKER_07 1:01

When you say thoroughly enjoy the gym, can we dig into that a little bit? Sure. Like, do you enjoy all aspects of it? Like waking up and making yourself go? Are you fired up to get to the gym?

SPEAKER_06 1:12

I look forward to going now because I can see results. I'm getting so much stronger as before in the beginning. You know, you're like, you don't want to go, you're sweating your butt off, you know, like just but I think once you start seeing results, you want to go.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

That's kind of the stage I'm in. Like I woke up today at five and I was like, I'm gonna go to the gym. And then I'm like, maybe I'll just walk this afternoon. And I keep talking myself out of it. Get up and go. That's what I need to do.

SPEAKER_06 1:41

If you have can do it with your schedule, that's what I do. I get up and I go. Because if I don't do it in the morning, yeah, my day just takes me everywhere in which every which way. And so I get it. So just I went this morning. Get up, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:56

I've also learned I have to work out in the morning.

SPEAKER_06 1:59

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 2:00

For the same reasons. I've been like that my whole life. Yes. And if I try to do it too early in the morning, it doesn't work for me either.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 2:06

Um, so what's your sweet time? 10 a.m. No, I'm just doing it. Oh to be you. No, my uh my sweet spot that's actually would be a little late for me. Uh I would say it's between 7:30 and 8.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

That's not bad. No, that's not bad. It's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:22

I mean, that's on average. Let's say some days I'm at it a little later.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:25

Some days a little earlier.

SPEAKER_06 2:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:27

Um, and so what kind of weight training do you do?

SPEAKER_06 2:30

I try to do legs one day, upper body the next day, and then the third day being uh cardio and core. So you do three days a week. Good deal. Okay. If I can make it a fourth day to do extra cardio, that's like awesome, but it doesn't happen very often.

unknown 2:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

Well, good deal. You 10 years in. That's yeah, no, I know. I didn't realize it had been that long.

SPEAKER_06 2:52

We've been going to my mom and I started going to Tony, and it's been great for both of us. So you work out with a trainer? Mm-hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 3:00

Well, you have to introduce me to your mom.

SPEAKER_06 3:02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 3:02

Because I don't know who she's in there.

SPEAKER_06 3:03

Oh, yeah, she's in there. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 3:05

I'm trying to get my dad to go, but it hasn't really worked out. He committed, then I'll call him to go, and he was like, well, maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow. That was like three days.

SPEAKER_06 3:12

It's great. My mom, I mean, she's 73, she does a few days. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

Yeah. And that's so good for them, too. Yes. You know, as they get older to work out, yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.

unknown 3:21

True.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

Well, awesome. Okay. So you told us a little bit about working out, which is amazing. I think we could have a whole podcast about that. But um, tell us a little bit about yourself, upbringing, education.

SPEAKER_06 3:34

Uh, I was born in New Orleans. I primarily grew up in Covington, went to uh uh all girls private school, SSA, uh, then went on to LSU to graduate in business management. I thought I wanted to go get my master's, and then come my last semester. I said I can't study anymore. So um I went into business management. Our family actually just sold um grocery store Langenstein's, which looks 1122. So we just celebrated 100 years in business. Wow, okay. I didn't know that. Yeah, so my goal to go into business management was to hopefully open a location on the North Shore. So I lived, graduated Elshoe, moved to Uptown and lived there and went between the uptown and the Mediterre store working. Uh, I'm very good at making finger sandwiches and um cutting deli meat. Anyway, long story short, Katrina hit. We, my whole family who lived in the city, we ended up commuting across because everything was, you know, the stores did not have generators at the time. So we had to, by the time we got back in, the food was gone. It was this, it was one of the most disgusting experiences of my life. But what do you do? Your family owns it, you've got to clean it up. So we did it, we reopened. So we still commuted. And then six months after Katrina, I asked my uncles, I said, Do you think it's feasible for us to get a store on the North Shore? And they said, not now, but maybe five to ten years. And I just said, I'm not comfortable living in the city that long. Like I did my whole family, my family, my friends, my horses, everything was over here. So I just said, Thank you for the experience. I'm gonna move on. So then what do you do? Right. So my mom was doing real estate at the time. She had probably done it for about 15 years, and she's like, you know, maybe that timing is wrong. I'm not sure. But anyway, so uh she said, I'm kind of over it. But if we back up a little bit, my mom did open brothels and britches, which is the store um that I run now. She opened that in 05. Um, the reason why we came because it was Katrina or pre-Katrina? She opened it right before Katrina. Oh, it's where the donut stop is, is where our original building was. But she opened that because um we had lost my sister, her daughter. So she did that as something for her mind to move forward to keep herself busy, to get herself past that. So that was like her little baby, you know, the tax shop. So then when I left the grocery, I decided to start real estate since she was focusing her time on the tax shop. So I basically took over her clientele, or if there was anybody that, you know, she needed help, I would help them. And here I am now, still doing real estate 20 years later. But so let's see, I probably took over the shop 13 or 14 years ago. I really don't know. Um, mom still pitched in and helped out for you know quite some time, but she is fully retired now. Um, so yeah, now I just do the shop and real estate. It's nice because both of them are flexible. Um, I am in the shop, but technically, you know, more so like before hours before we open, I'll go do managerial stuff, uh payroll, you know, that sort of thing. So yeah. So forgive my ignorance, but what type of shop is this? Bridles and britches, it's a tax shop. So anything horse gear, so English riding, there's western and English riding. Okay. We're English riding. So what you would say equestrians, I guess. So there's dressage, there's um three-day eventing, which is, you know, like they jump out in the woods, you know. Um, and then there's stadium or like in the in the arena, um, hunter jumper. So there's a lot of different disciplines that we cover or that the um attire can be useful for. Got it. Okay, and horse stuff as well, you know, bridles, saddles, grooming stuff, you know. Wow, that's pretty cool. I didn't know that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 8:01

So you have like the Western side, they dress like cowboys and cowgirls. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 8:04

And then you have the the um English side with the tall black boots, like in the crops.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

You know, I would do it just for the fashion. Yeah, they always it's always there.

SPEAKER_06 8:14

Are some people who are very fashion, you know. I mean, who they want to be dressed to the nines, you know.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

I love watching when they dress up with the pretty boots, the fitted boots, and the pants and the hillish looks like a lawn jockey. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 8:27

I like who writing them. Like, hey, look at you when you do your English stuff. Um so man, you said a lot of things had my brain firing um on that that intro there in your background.

SPEAKER_06 8:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 8:41

Can we talk a little bit about the Katrina experience?

SPEAKER_06 8:45

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_07 8:46

As it relates to um, you know, a couple of things. One, obviously being in a family business, like you said, gotta show up and help. Absolutely. And um, and then two, the fact that it's a grocery business, which is something that's so vital to um we had to reopen as soon as possible.

SPEAKER_03 9:03

Right.

SPEAKER_07 9:03

So when you think back to that time, you know, what is what's maybe some of the uh what do you think the most valuable things you took from that experience were from a business perspective?

SPEAKER_06 9:16

Um, I think the the biggest thing is just watching my uncles and my family, we all, you know, hunker down and we got it done. We didn't have a choice, right? So one, you're you have you don't have to supply the city, but you know, you're supplying food. These people need water, they need food, and we're the ones who are one of the ones giving it to them. So we had to do it, and they're probably my two uncles and my grandfather are probably some of the driving force in you know, small business ownership and you know, looking and saying, Hey, times are tough, but we gotta buckle up and get it done. You know, you didn't have a choice. I mean, there just to give you a little example, the turkeys that were in the freezer that had defrosted and were there for two weeks were this big, and there was flies that were like this big, you know. I mean, it was just disgusting, but who else was gonna do it?

SPEAKER_07 10:09

Right, you know, you were in college at the time.

SPEAKER_06 10:12

I had just graduated college in 04. Mm-hmm. Yep. Goodness, it's crazy. So, yes, just seeing, you know, you you lead by example, right?

SPEAKER_07 10:21

And some of your friends were in, you know, Destin, Disney World, and with a lot of people we all knew were fortunate enough to be able to do. Yes. Um, and then there were those who were fighting the fight at a level that we were fighting the fight, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:36

It was gross. I mean, we were, you know, we a lot of us didn't have power still over here, you know. So, I mean, my uncle luckily had a pool at his place, so he was in the pool, you know, his farm over here. So he was jumping into pool bathing and washing his clothes, and we'd get up and cross the causeway, we'd all load up in his suburban and go. Yeah, wow.

SPEAKER_07 10:57

And how long did it take you all to do you remember to get the store?

SPEAKER_06 11:00

I think it took us a couple weeks to because you gotta get dumpsters. How are you gonna get dumpsters? You know, like I mean, so many challenges. Yeah, better have a pair of knee boots, you better have respirators, you gotta, you know.

SPEAKER_07 11:13

Right, and it's also easy to find when the city shut down.

SPEAKER_06 11:15

Correct.

SPEAKER_07 11:16

Right, yeah. Yeah, the logistical nightmares are um uh they're life-changing. Yes, yeah, and um, and it's funny because when for the people who haven't lived through those things, they it's very difficult to comprehend uh what it's really like. It's like the lawn, you know, until you've walked in someone's shoes, you don't know. Correct. Yeah, um, or why we all want to touch the pan when someone says, Don't touch this, it's very hot. I did it the other night at a restaurant. The guy goes, This is really hot. And it's not that I didn't believe him, but I need to touch it, so I burned myself. Um, you know, so it's kind of that that kind of psychology that we all struggle with. Uh, but you know, uh it's very interesting that um as I I find it because I have my own experiences through Katrina, and I always think it find it interesting to hear what people take away from it. Yeah, um, and it's like you gotta find solutions to things because it's not pretty and is what I call crisis inside of a crisis, inside of a crisis, inside of a crisis. And you're like, dear lord.

SPEAKER_06 12:16

It was it was it was nasty, it was bad, you know.

SPEAKER_07 12:19

I mean, but y'all made it.

SPEAKER_06 12:20

We made it.

SPEAKER_07 12:21

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 12:22

And um so yeah, I thought that was interesting.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

That is very interesting. So, of all the jobs you've done, which one have you enjoyed the most?

SPEAKER_06 12:32

Probably the shop is my, you know, my go-to. I just like my favorite part of, and I think real estate and the shop goes hand in hand is your end result, whether the transaction is a house or whether the transaction is somebody buying a new outfit for their daughter that's just starting to ride, right? You want them to be happy with their transaction. Right. And I guess I see uh I get happiness out of seeing other people happy. So, you know, it can be a large transaction or a small transaction, and if they leave satisfied that in their customer service was good, then they'll come back and do it again. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:14

So when you talk about customer service, when because I feel like that is a dying art.

unknown 13:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 13:23

Because I would imagine I think customer service of a as an art. It's not a good idea. It's a big art in my mind, right? And it's a huge art. It's sort of like managing management. I read something one time where this person said, if anyone ever tells you they've figured out managing people, be the first sign, you know, don't work with them because they're it's always changing. It's always changing. Um so customer service, I feel is a dying art in so many ways, probably for so many reasons, right? Um so when you think about customer service, let's start in the real estate box first. What do you feel? Um what do you think is important to deliver?

SPEAKER_06 14:02

Uh responsiveness is your biggest case. Somebody has a question, you may not know the answer. You just say, hey, let me find out. I'm not 100% sure. I'm gonna get back to you. Taking you a little while to find out that answer. Hey, I'm still working on it, I haven't forgot about you. Right. So that's my biggest uh recommendation to anybody in any industry that you're working with people. Communication, even if it's not the greatest thing to communicate, you're still communicating it and updating them on, hey, I did order that helmet for you, but it just is has not come in yet. It's coming from Europe or got stuck on a boat, whatever the case may be. But they appreciate the communication, you know. So that would be as far as customer service, you know, in any industry for me, real estate and the shop.

SPEAKER_07 14:54

And when you have to deliver, let's talk about a real estate side a little bit. When you have to deliver not so good news, it sucks.

unknown 15:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 15:05

Um any tips? What do you what do you think about it don't hold off?

SPEAKER_06 15:09

I mean, you've got it's it's there, it has to be disclosed, right? You can't if if you can't fix it, then you have to tell them. And unfortunately it is what it is. But I mean, I would recommend not holding off, you know, or not delaying giving them that bad news, whether, you know, maybe it's something with the loan process, or maybe the house didn't appraise, or maybe the seller didn't clean out their attic like they were supposed to, or you know, whichever, whatever it could be, some better than you know, others. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 15:42

And sometimes it's more than one.

SPEAKER_06 15:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 15:45

How often do people not clean out the attic? I'm just curious. Asking for a friend.

SPEAKER_06 15:49

Quite a bit. Yeah, that's the first thing I tell people when I go to a listing appointment, which I have one at one o'clock today, you know. I said, I go, I say, hey, start cleaning out your attic.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Because it's not that's not right to leave your your crap in there. Do you think they do it intentionally?

SPEAKER_06 16:04

Do you think some people just forget they have I think they wait till the last second and then they say, I don't have time and I don't want it, I don't know what's up there. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean, I had a I had one closing that they would not close until the attic was cleaned out. That would be me. I'd be like, I am there was so much stuff in the attic that yes, the buyers would not close.

SPEAKER_07 16:29

Well, and then if you get like out in the country, as they say from the city, um, you know, you have sheds and you might have things that house horses called barns, which have loft areas. Maybe you're sent in some frustration. Um and maybe you bet include that it has to be cleared.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

Wow, that's happened to you.

SPEAKER_07 16:53

Uh maybe.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Wow. And um you know, I I was not expecting that that was an issue in real estate. Yes, it's a big issue.

SPEAKER_07 17:02

Well, it compounds because the attic is one thing, right? But if you think about it, you know, if you've got an attic and then you've got a shed and then you got a barn, and then you might have another little building.

SPEAKER_06 17:12

But then you look at it for the buy the buyer's perspective, then they have to get a dumpster, maybe a couple times. Then they have to do all of the work, you know. So it's not fair. No, it's not fair.

SPEAKER_03 17:22

It's not so, in other words, advice to everyone listening keep your attic empty. Yes, don't put it at if you don't know what's up there, throw it out. Correct. Throw it out.

SPEAKER_06 17:31

I try not to put anything in my attic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 17:35

We've definitely trimmed down with about it feels like five moves in three or four years, but we still have things in the attic. Yeah. And we have things we think are in the attic, such as yesterday, that are where we couldn't find our stockings for Christmas.

SPEAKER_03 17:48

Yeah, because you probably left it at the previous house you sold. You're one of those empty.

SPEAKER_07 17:56

No, I'm guilty. And then Mardi Gras decorations.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 18:00

Only to dig through the attic to realize that they're actually in a closet.

SPEAKER_03 18:05

So I know. Um I'm guilty of keeping stuff in my attic, and it's mostly kids' clothes. Like, I just have a hard time because I remember when they wore it, and now I'm like, I just I just got to get rid of it. You have the picture, let it go.

SPEAKER_06 18:19

Let someone else enjoy it. Well, I told somebody the other day of an old employee who stopped in with her little girl, and you know, she looked about the age where she would start losing her teeth, you know. And I said, Hey, I said, I'm just gonna let you know. I don't know why people think it's like you save your baby's teeth, but it's really gross. You you later find how many 15, 20 teeth, however many they lose, and you're like, What am I doing with this?

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Like, what it's a thing. I mean, I don't intentionally save my child's teeth, but you know, the tooth fairy comes and then what do you uh put it somewhere and then I forget where I put it. And I'm like, he's going to find his teeth and be like, wow. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 19:02

I would clean out all the coffee mugs. My husband would put them in a plastic bag and like put it in a coffee mug up top. Yeah, so I'm cleaning out the cabinet, and I literally find like all these plastic baggies of teeth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Get rid of them. Right. Send a picture, get rid of it. Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_07 19:18

Haley says I'm a borderline hoarder for addict things. But I have boxes of stuff that I've just I didn't intentionally do it. I just threw it in boxes over the years. And then I have stuff, so then when I go to clear it out, I'm like, man, I feel like this is like part of my life.

SPEAKER_06 19:32

I gotta keep it going to be nice. I just gotta let it go.

SPEAKER_07 19:35

You gotta first cigar I ever smoked. I still have the butt in a bag.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

That's that's as bad as holding on to teeth. Yeah. Wow, Christopher.

SPEAKER_07 19:43

What else? Uh my buddy was getting married about 20 years ago, I guess. We've been friends since literally kindergarten. And so I started digging through. I I had gone through some boxes recently. I found all this stuff. So I had like, I don't know why, but we had like first, what we had first communion cards, you know, Valentine cards from when you're in kindergarten, first grade. So I had all this stuff. Yeah, I still have most of that.

SPEAKER_03 20:07

I mean, I can see why you keep stuff like that, but at the end of the day, it's you're just leaving it for your children to deal with. That's how I feel now. Yeah, like I when my parents pass away, like knowing that I have to deal with all that, I'm like, just get rid of it. And so that's kind of what I'm applying to myself. I don't want my kids to have to deal with this. Yeah, just let go of it.

SPEAKER_07 20:26

Yeah. Because I try to take the kids to my office and go, you see this wall of stuff here. This is like my life. You want to talk about it? And they're like, not really. I was like, okay, so if they don't want to talk about the stuff that's on the wall, do you think they want to talk about the stuff on the cigar? No, your first cigar, no.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Oh, let's let's keep that's first cigar, but this seems like a good idea.

SPEAKER_07 20:45

What I might say is bury me with that first cigar, but there you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

Look, it's it's now recorded. So now they know.

SPEAKER_07 20:53

All right, so we got we got the um we got some advice for sellers and buyers. Um, we got a little customer service. Okay, so let's go to customer service again. So now transitioning to the to the store. Okay. Um, you know, what do you feel like uh separates good customer service from from bad? So I'm not sure you have employees that work there. And so um you know, if you're not there, obviously you've identified customer service as a big ticket item. Yes. So, like, what are what are some of the things you do to get yourself comfortable to be able to go do these other things you're doing and not be present with the employees?

SPEAKER_06 21:35

Um, I just make sure that it's very clear to my employees, you know, obviously in training and whatnot. And so there's another girl who's starting to, you know, help us a little bit here and there. So I put her with an employee that I know, you know, she's very by the book. She's great customer service. Um, so I put her, you know, hey, work with this girl. On these days, if possible, to learn, you know, and of course, like when I'm work, I'm like, hey, all right, come work with me today. So you've got the gist of how things are handled, you know? And so it's not always making the biggest sale, selling them the most expensive thing. You want the repeat customer, right? You want them to come in, you want them to feel comfortable, you want them to feel happy when they leave, right? So, hey, we might not have every single thing in the store, but we're gonna get it for you. Or if we can't, we just say we can't get it. Right. You know, I mean that it does happen.

SPEAKER_07 22:35

So it's really more about an experience.

SPEAKER_06 22:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 22:39

As opposed to just the meet and greet and being polite. Yes. That's one side of it. Yes. But the other side, which is really another business issue, which is, well, how do we generate sales?

SPEAKER_05 22:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 22:50

And how do we do it appropriately? Yes, right. Like as opposed to being too high pressured.

SPEAKER_06 22:57

Right. So you have helmet A, helmet B, and helmet C. Well, they range from $100 to $700. Are you gonna try and sell the beginner a $700 helmet? No. Your child's just starting to ride, they're more than likely growing. So let's start with the entry level. So you know you're not dropping a chip pile of money, right? And if your daughter quits or son quits riding after five lessons, you don't have this huge helmet that you're not gonna use. Expensive helmet, you know, microphones. So they are like, oh great, thank you. I appreciate you. You know, is it just as good as this one? Yes, they're rated the same, it's just a different brand. It's like Academy versus Nike or you know, right. Yeah. So things like that people appreciate.

SPEAKER_07 23:46

What do you find the biggest challenge um from the ownership seat as it relates to to staffing? And do you feel like it's changed over the last 10-15 years you've been?

SPEAKER_06 24:00

So I've had all the same staff, knock on wood. I've never had to fire anybody. They all have had to go to real jobs, quote unquote, right? So I supply them with um part-time employment. Um, no more than two days a week. If they want, they can. If they need to fill in for somebody, of course, you know, work as much as you want. But um, a couple of my girls were homeschooled, which I was a little nervous about that with them talking to people and being able to communicate. And the change from one year to year two of their employment was amazing. Really? Them being able to speak to people and being able to communicate. I don't, I mean, I think the store is great for that, but those girls, I guess they're more disciplined in schoolwork, maybe because they can get it done. And then they a lot of these girls are, you know, homeschooled and then they go ride, right? Okay. So they're like, let me get my schoolwork done. I want to go ride. So they, you know, I leave lists or you know, some are more self-starting than others, right? And then they'll find something to do. But um, so my I never advertise that I'm looking for somebody. So the girl who just started working with me, she just had a baby. I've known her for a long time. She's very detail-oriented, she knows the equipment. She, you know, and I don't need her as a full-time employee. Right. And it's great for her because when her husband's home off of work, she can come work, you know, get out of the house for her mental health and also make some money and help me. And I know that I can one, trust her, and two, that she'll do a good job. So I kind of I don't know if the terms cherry pick people when I see, you know, because one of my girls is about to graduate nursing school. So I know she's not going to be with me that much longer. So now I need to start bringing in someone else for when she does have to go, then I'll have somebody in that place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 26:08

So have you developed kind of like your top three to five characteristics as you start to look to the community first of back and forth?

SPEAKER_06 26:19

I don't know if I have the characteristics laid down. I just, I guess reading people and you know, being middle-aged, you've learned how to read people and you can say, like, yeah, I could see this person, you know, fitting in here and uh knowing doing the customer service and being, you know, a really good employee. And then there's some people who you see, and you're just like, I don't get that vibe. Yeah, so I I don't even say anything, you know. I'm I approached, you know, uh this girl and said, Hey, would you like to come, you know, when you have free time? She's like, Yeah, that'd be great, you know. So I just I don't ever put out a hiring sign. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, that's really good.

SPEAKER_07 27:04

Yeah, it's it's hard when you have to recruit.

SPEAKER_06 27:08

Yeah. I it's hard. Well, I mean, just to trust people, you know, with your your when it's your business. I mean, it's like that's your family, you know. I mean, like that's your little egg. And to have somebody in there, I don't have time to sit there and watch computer, I mean the cameras all day.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

No, you know, they're there, but do I have time for that, right? You know, but I do feel as a smaller business, sometimes it's harder to recruit because what you're looking for is so specific. Yeah, you don't you don't want to hire a full-time person because maybe your business doesn't allow for that. Yeah. Um, so you have to find those people that are like this mom you're talking about, where you know, that part-time scenario of working two or three days a week is just what they need.

SPEAKER_06 27:57

Yes, right. Correct. Yeah. And I mean to know the business too, know the she's learning the retail side, she knows the horse side. So she's learning, you know, the computer, the point of sale system, the online orders, you know, and then as going along with that, we have the mobile tax shop where we go to horse shows with it. So wow, okay. Then you've got that part of it. So she's helped me unload the trailer, we'll load it again next week to start horse show season, you know. So it's a and it's nice having a extra hand to that.

SPEAKER_07 28:30

And it sounds like you're you're also balancing some more mature folks with some less mature. Yes, and I mean in business sense, not necessarily in their personality. Yeah. But um, and so you start to find um, at least for me, they they bring different things to the table, just like we all did at various points in our career.

SPEAKER_06 28:52

Yeah, no, I mean the younger girls, you know, the Instagram, the what's trending, you know, they're like, oh, they did it so funny the other day. They um they sent me a couple of videos of have you seen the TikToks or Instagram where the the uh girls are out to do social media. So the maintenance man or like the um, I forget what it was, but my husband went in and did like the pictures, like with the just stuff around the shop, and it was hilarious. Like, so you know, like the younger girls, the younger, they are they get that their social media market in S. And so that's where I'm like I you need that younger group, you know, and then the older group or the more mature group, whatever. I mean, everybody put gives something to the business.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Yeah. That's really a good point. And that's that's so true.

SPEAKER_06 29:45

Yeah, because I mean, what I would order, right, is not the same thing as what they would order. And we have to order, say, six, eight months in advance, some stuff, right? Like booking orders. So I ask them to come and say, like, hey, I want your input on what y'all think is gonna sell. I mean, it's a guessing game every year, but you know, I would still like their input, right?

SPEAKER_07 30:09

You know, so um I identified another important thing I'm hearing you say is you know, building a team approach to the business. Yes, also important.

SPEAKER_06 30:21

Very, very, and I mean, and to treat them like a team, you know. I mean, everybody has their strengths and weaknesses. So there's some things that need to be done, say on Excel, right? I know this person's better at Excel, they can get it done quicker. So guess what? It goes on their to-do list, right? This person's better at this, then they get to, you know, pricing updates, then they get tasked with that. Like the delegation, you know, you go in the direction where it's gonna be the easiest for that person, I think, or done the best.

SPEAKER_03 30:53

Right. And it's it's it takes time and work to identify those strengths and weaknesses in your employees and then kind of play off of it, right? Because if you ignore it, then those are the employees that are like, oh, yeah, I'm just gonna sit here on my phone and you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_07 31:09

Yeah, it was like it was like with Hannah for so long. I mean, yeah, that's what I used to do. I played on Instagram and Facebook all the time.

SPEAKER_06 31:17

When was the one before Facebook?

SPEAKER_03 31:21

There probably wasn't even internet back then.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

No, the internet was there, but it was the Oregon Trail.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

No, but I mean, our original, I don't think there was internet, Chris. And if there was, it was like limited to like one or two computers in the office, right? I mean, we were big on fax machines.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

So funny. Um anything you would do different than say maybe 10 years ago, um, in either one of your businesses, either real estate or um the shop?

SPEAKER_06 31:56

I don't think I've made any poor choices that I would bad enough that I would change. I think even if it's not the greatest choice, it's a learning curve, right? So um going to different shows with the mobile unit, right? So, like, how far are you gonna go? Do you need to um ask how many people are gonna be at the show to make it worth your while? Are there gonna be enough shopping people or are there gonna be other vendors there? You know, like stuff like that. Like, so we went to Pensacola and the sales were like real, it just wasn't the right crowd, you know. And granted, the weather was bad, yada, yada. But my husband and I look at each other, I'm like, we're not going back here again. Makes sense, you know. So I mean, just and sometimes that happens just because the elements aren't there, like the weather is bad or whatever. But um, I don't know. I think even if it's not a great decision, it's a you learn from it. So I wouldn't really change anything, you know. The if I had to change the business, and my uncle taught me this, is or he told me this at one point, he said, chose a low inventory business. Okay, it's a lot of carrying costs in a tax shop. You know, I mean, you've got to pay for it even though it hasn't sold yet, exactly, right?

SPEAKER_07 33:18

So that's what I can't figure out about certain businesses, like a wine store or a liquor store. Yeah, you know, and I love going to look at wine labels.

SPEAKER_05 33:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:30

So especially if I'm traveling to see a wine shop, I'll pull in and just kind of check it out. And I'll the thought is always in my mind, it's like, man, you know, some of these wines have to be here for a long time.

SPEAKER_06 33:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:42

So, you know, they what are they doing with that carrying cost, right?

SPEAKER_06 33:46

It's huge because you pay taxes on that inventory as personal property every year. So if it sits there, you're gonna pay tax on it again.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

Right. I mean, really, it's it's almost like an art, right? You have to, and some of it is a guessing game, right? What huge guessing game? You think this is gonna sell and you hope it's gonna sell, and sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. But I think as as time goes on, you kind of learn like, okay, this is what I should be carrying versus not so much of this and definitely not this.

SPEAKER_06 34:18

Right, or like even sizing, you know, like these are the sizes we sell the most of. And some people are like, Well, I need this size, y'all don't ever have this size. So I get that size in, and guess what?

SPEAKER_03 34:29

They don't buy it, and I'm like, well, right, you know, it's and then and also it's it's moving the inventory, right? If something isn't selling it, putting it on sale.

SPEAKER_06 34:38

Yeah, you know, well, and like you look at it, you're like, it's been paid for. Yes, mark it down and get it because people want to see new stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

You know, so it is it is a bit of an art, and you know, you have to be quick. Yes, you have to be quick.

SPEAKER_07 34:53

Well, for our listeners, um, it's interesting because you all are in the same business. Oh, somewhat.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

So my husband and I own a pharmacy. Yes, and a fourth of the store is a gift shop. Yeah. And you know, I carry kids' clothes and stuff like that. So, you know, we go to market once or twice a year, and it's like at market, you're really guessing. You kind of like are looking at everybody. What is everybody? And you're like this when you walk into market, you're like, oh yeah, yes, yes, it you will be overwhelmed. Yeah. Um, so again, it's a guessing game. When we first went to market, we weren't really carrying anything at the store. And so you go into market and you guess what's gonna sell, and then you discover that doesn't sell, this does sell, get more of this, less of this. Yeah, and then all the stuff that you've had for two, three years, you're like basically just giving it away. Give it away, get it out. It's I'm not making any money on it, I may be losing money on it, but I need it to move, right? Need it to move. Um, right, yeah, right at all. Right, exactly, exactly. So it is it is a challenge.

SPEAKER_06 35:54

I I hear you and I feel you. Yeah, I went to market for the first time in a long time in August, and I was very overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_03 36:02

You went to Dallas?

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

Yeah, it's crazy. It I mean, there's you can't even really describe it. You can tell someone what it's like.

SPEAKER_07 36:09

Wait, so it's the same market?

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Well, they have different floors of the building. Anything, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 36:14

Market has everything, but it would be the same period of time.

SPEAKER_06 36:17

Uh typically, so maybe the they'll cross over a little bit. Um, but so like I think last in August it was like floor 10 and 11 or something, my main floors are 10, 11, 12, something like that. And they have horse. Horse, mainly horse stuff, right? Yeah. So, but then they have like I went down to like the Douglas Toys or whatever, maybe on floor four, you know, which you might carry in the pharmacy, whatnot. So yeah, you can go to like, but this is like furniture. I mean, there's so many four, it's very overwhelming.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

And throughout the year, market specializes on certain things. So, like right now would be like home and decor, right?

SPEAKER_06 36:55

So they it then you have like temporary vendors that come in just for that market, and then you have kids' apparel, and then you're probably talking about like so like our market comes in a couple weeks or maybe next week, like the 21st, I think.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

All the dates are different this year because of the soccer games that are uh gonna be in Dallas. So they've shifted either two weeks earlier or two weeks, like all the dates. I was like, I it's too much. Yeah, we're skipping this year, too.

SPEAKER_07 37:23

Yeah, well, I find it interesting that they would have equestrian.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

They have probably two whole floors of just like yeah, it's insane. I would have never thought that it's crazy, it's crazy. It is. There's no other way to describe it than crazy.

SPEAKER_07 37:36

Good. Let's make sure Haley never goes with you.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

She should.

SPEAKER_06 37:40

She would have a good time, especially at the last day, they do like cash and carry. Oh, yeah. Like their samples, so you can say, like, hey, can I buy this sample? Start power negotiating.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Yeah. And but once you establish your vendors too, you don't necessarily have to go every year because you already have these relationships. Yes. But when you're first starting off and you find in vendors, it's like, ooh.

SPEAKER_06 38:04

Well, so my issue, which is a good thing and a bad thing, is that there are no other tax shops in Louisiana or even maybe Mississippi. Really? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, it's great though. It's great, but the reps don't want to come to you because it's not like they can go and go hit three or four tax shops, yeah, get their orders, and then leave, you know. So I try to book stuff with the the reps that come to me. Right. Because they're making the effort and they're, you know, spending the money to come see me. So but yeah, it's it's tough sometimes.

SPEAKER_07 38:38

So what's like the what's like some of your top selling items?

SPEAKER_06 38:43

Oh, I mean, probably just generally clothes paddock boots, which are the little short boots, you know, for kids. Um and ladies and men use them too, but it's like when you're getting into riding, you know. So what say you have 50 people who start riding, you probably have, I would say 20 to 25 who continue riding. Either one and it's just not for them, two, they're scared, whatever the case may be. But the longer they're in it, the more they're willing to spend and get the quality stuff, right? So the lower priced items, which I try to have for everybody, and of course, when the economy is not so great, people want the lower price items. So, you know, like the entry-level helmet, the uh entry-level boots, some of the clothes. I mean, people, some of the clothes are pretty pricey, you know.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

So do you buy anything back and then sell it as a different type of market, like gently used? You mean like consignment.

SPEAKER_06 39:43

Oh, uh, so what we do twice a year, we do consignment saddles all year long. Okay. So what we do do twice a year is ever say when in March is our next sale, the end of March, we'll get rid of all of our spring stuff. No, fall stuff, sorry. Um, and you know, put that all 50% off. But then our customers are can come in and bring all their stuff to sell on consignment. Got it. So we just do it for the weekend, so it's a gives them an option to sell stuff, but I don't do it all year long because it's way too it's too much. It's too much. Yeah, and I just don't have the space for it. Oh, makes sense. Okay, but so it gives them opportunity and it's a great thing. People love it. I mean, people are literally lined up outside. Really? Oh, yeah. Friday morning, it's like we open at 10, people are lined up at 8:30. Wow, yeah. So it's gotten good. I mean, I'm proud of myself for that because if people like, oh sales are good. Gotta get rid of it, right? Right.

SPEAKER_07 40:43

So let's talk a little bit about the dual career path here you've got going. Um I'm guessing you probably never would have foreseen yourself having two careers.

SPEAKER_05 40:55

No.

SPEAKER_07 40:56

You know, you thought it was gonna be the grocery business.

SPEAKER_05 40:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 40:59

Now ironically, you end up in a retail setting.

SPEAKER_05 41:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 41:02

Um what's some of the pros and cons of dual career?

SPEAKER_06 41:08

Yeah, of having two careers, meaning you know, you have an active real estate practice and then the I would say there's the the cons of both businesses would be uh never being able to detach. Like as a business owner and as real estate, people want to get in touch with you, whether it's through social media, whether it's through text, whether that would be the con of both of them. Like vacation, you still gotta answer your phone. You know, I mean, a customer needs something. I want them to be happy with whatever they need, whether it be, hey, I can't help you right now, call the shop at 10 when it opens, whether you know, a message at 6 a.m. Right, you know, I'm sitting there drinking my coffee or real estate. Somebody's texting me last night and they're like, hey, I want to see this piece of property tomorrow. I'm like, well, I can do it later in the afternoon, you know, whichever. Um, so it's caught, it's just constant, never being able to detach would be the con of both of those.

SPEAKER_07 42:12

I think one of the what's an advantage?

SPEAKER_06 42:18

Flexibility. You know, it's not that it's easy to leave town because you're obviously still working. Right. Um, and most of the time, say real estate's slow, just go out of town and people send you an offer on a listing, and you know, like that that's what happens, right? Um, so but more so like with the shop, since I have such good employees, I can kind of leave that. I know that they're gonna get online orders to the post office on time. I know that everything they can make the decisions, you know. So I guess uh flexibility.

SPEAKER_03 42:53

Yeah, and I think as business owners, I would say almost everybody would say the same thing, right? You you have that flexibility, but you never truly get to 100% check out. Right. You know, you either have payroll, you have employee issues, you have customer issues, somebody needs something. It's there's always something that comes up. Yes, right. So you will never be 100% checked out.

SPEAKER_06 43:16

No, unfortunately, and that's but that's the world today with cell phones. You know, I guess we just have to go somewhere where there's no cell phone address. Yeah, I think But that would make us so uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_07 43:28

Well, that's the other part, right? And so, and when you when you love what you do, yeah, and sometimes it's a love-hate relationship. Um, but when you love what you do, um it it's sometimes it's hard to get away from it anyway. It is yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 43:45

Well, you you always have your your ear down to what's going on, right?

SPEAKER_07 43:50

And you want to know. Yes. Like, you know, now you may not want to know the bad stuff while you're out of town. Like, can you wait on that? But yeah, I I I found the same thing for me. I I think I'm trying to think. I think the only time I fully unplugged was probably a couple of days with a death in the family. And then really it wasn't until right before I sold the business and intentionally took an extended trip to kind of make sure everything was where I thought it was mentally. But you know, outside of that, even if I went, I would try to put it away for a few days. But then my itch and my desire to it's just our personalities out there. And not necessarily to micromanage it, but just to check in. Yes. You know, right. Um and so, but I think that's a special wiring.

SPEAKER_04 44:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 44:42

Because I I have lots of peers and friends who are very different and they're very good. And a lot of them have incredible jobs with a lot of responsibility. But I find they're much better. And I'd say almost all of them are not business owners. They're probably capable of it. They're just not in those roles.

SPEAKER_05 45:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 45:01

They're very good at at drawing that line.

SPEAKER_05 45:04

Really?

SPEAKER_07 45:05

And just putting it aside and it'll wait. And I'm like, man, I I'm sort of envious to that.

SPEAKER_06 45:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 45:12

Uh and and it's just not just not how wired.

SPEAKER_06 45:15

So I have a friend who she'll, you know, you text her about whatever, right? We're on a board together. And it's not that she's ignoring you. I just think she puts her phone down for a couple hours a day and she then gets to it and answers. Gets you right what you you know, what you needed. But I'm like, how does she do that? I feel like I need to respond A S A P. I look, that's how I am. That's how I am. I I can't get myself to, you know, let go of.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

And I don't know if it's just my personality, but we used to have a rule at the law firm where you had to respond to an email within 24 hours. And now some people don't respond to emails for a week. And that is completely acceptable. And I'm like, okay. I know, but I'm just like But I can't. I can't. I don't yeah, and I don't think it's neither palpitations. I can't go, you know. Same thing with text messages. I feel like I have to respond right away. Yeah.

unknown 46:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 46:12

One of my pet pews, which is earlier when you said communication is vital. I I just and you know, people are like, well, I'm busy and thinking, I'm sure you are, you know, but I've been real busy too. And yeah, um, and so it's just to me, it's um it's a sign of um attention combined with courteousness. Yes, I agree, and dependent upon what you're doing, professionalism. Okay, you know, certain certain jobs, you don't really need to be professional in it, so to speak, in its traditional sense, but I think they're all tied together. Yeah, absolutely. And then it's the other side of the brain, which is just how we need to operate individually to make sure we feel good about what we're doing. Yes, that's probably 50% of the battle.

SPEAKER_05 46:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 46:57

And um, and so for people who aren't wired like that, I think it's harder for them to comply with the other side of it because they're not living their day-to-day life like that. Right. Yeah. So then they're like, well, this I looked at it, it just wasn't important.

SPEAKER_06 47:10

Yeah, I don't think I needed to respond.

SPEAKER_07 47:12

Yeah, it wasn't important to you, but it was important to me or you know, to someone else. Right.

SPEAKER_06 47:17

And um well, it's like you do something, and I'm like, you know, I have a checklist every day, right? The left side is today, the right side is bonus, right? So if I can get some of this stuff done too, awesome. But once I check it off my list and I rewrite it the next day, I don't put that on there, the check with the checked item, right? I did it. You did it. So now I'm relying on that other person. It's now in your court, it's now your job or your and when people don't, I just I'm like, it's so disappointing to me. It is. You add like we're we've got a job to do, whether it be a real estate transaction or whatever. I have a question about an order that I placed. Like, you don't respond, you don't acknowledge nothing. I'm like, oh, what is going on? Right.

SPEAKER_07 48:07

So anyway, I that's one of my so how long have you been using that checklist approach to organize yourself?

SPEAKER_06 48:13

As long as I can remember. Gosh, I'm a lister too.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

Uh every day.

SPEAKER_06 48:18

I have to have more lists. I do, it's it's great.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

I just it's important and extra. Yeah, yeah. I have to have a list every day. And I have a paper calendar, a digital calendar. I have probably three calendars I work off of, and I I don't know how people function without that.

SPEAKER_06 48:37

No, I have the old calendar. Their lives are probably a lot less stressful.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

Did we get everything done on our list?

SPEAKER_06 48:43

You know, I mean, it's the the old paper calendar with the leather cover, you know, that I've had forever. And you buy the new insert, you know, and well, it's funny.

SPEAKER_07 48:54

I was trying desperately to convert away from the paper, probably over the last 10 years. And I just couldn't do it. And then I was getting better at it, and then I was like, I'm really gonna commit about a year and a half ago. And um, and then I felt like I was doing okay, but I still had notes all over my desk. And then I was like, you know what, I'm just ordering another one of those, one of those binders where I can put the inserts, and now I feel so much better about it. Um, so now like you, I have two digital calendars because Outlook doesn't always sync with the Apple one. So I got those two going. Yeah, try to do the reminder so I see them. And then I have the paper. Yeah, I don't really put my calendar on paper. Yeah, I use that more like my to-do list, yeah, broken down by things I'm involved in, whether it's house or you know, the podcast or other things.

SPEAKER_03 49:40

I order my calendar every year around October for the next year, and then I start writing in that. I don't know, it's crazy. Nope. But it's how it works.

SPEAKER_07 49:50

So let's you touched on something else, which I think is another big issue for not just business owners, but people managing people, which is accountability. At least that's what I heard you sort of venting about a second ago. Yeah. When someone doesn't get something done. So I think we both agree, Hannah, that the word accountability gets thrown around and it all sounds good. And it's like, you know, it's like saying I love you in the first date, you know, it's like it sounds good, I guess. But anyone hearing that would be like, they they don't love you. You know, I raised two girls, so you know that's that's total bullshit. Um, but I think accountability is similar in some ways, where it's just like it's a word that gets used, but ultimately to execute on it, to incorporate it, is is a challenge.

SPEAKER_06 50:38

For many people is a challenge.

SPEAKER_07 50:40

And so when you are, let's talk about where you're trying to hold someone accountable that works for you, as opposed to your real estate scenario where you've got lots of folks you're working with that don't work for you. Right. You might be their client, but yeah, you know, yeah. Um, what do you do, you know, when you have someone who maybe is is great in certain ways, but you know, the accountability is just lacking. How do you approach that?

SPEAKER_06 51:08

Uh just talk to them. I mean, I just say I've I have a great employee that's and there's a couple of them that get a little lax, and I'll talk with them and about, you know, they're supposed to be there at 9 45. The shop's supposed to be open at 10. Probably a week or two before Christmas. One of the girls was supposed to be there. It's like 10:05. Customer has then come and gone. Was not happy.

SPEAKER_07 51:35

$700 helmet purchase of show.

SPEAKER_06 51:37

I was not happy, not happy. And but I have gotten wiser in my age and chose not to say anything at that moment because I would have chewed them a new rear end. Uh so I calmed down, and the next time I saw them, I said, and they were late again. And I said, Hey, we gotta work on this. Like, what is what's going on? Is there something going on that you know that is interfering with you getting here on time? Oh, well, I had uh something extra I didn't anticipate. Well, it's happening a lot, so maybe you should anticipate that extra whatever, you know, because the store needs to be open and we need not to be missing any clients or customers coming in. Okay, I'm really sorry about that. I said, okay, then it's been fine since.

SPEAKER_07 52:28

Yeah, you know, but it well, I also find sorry is also overused.

SPEAKER_06 52:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 52:35

Um, and I guess I think about it in in raising kids too. It's like sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And it's like at some point, it's like, you know, show me sorry once is sorry. And then if it's the same action that you keep apologizing for, right, the behavior needs to change because you're not sorry. Because if you were truly sorry, you wouldn't be doing it again, right? Or you would do it a little differently, maybe, and make a mistake, but that's not.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

It's I feel like I have that conversation every day with my six-year-old. So now I'm like, maybe he's too young to understand sorry, and he may be. But I tell him the same thing. I'm like, you tell me you're sorry 50 times a day. I was like, that's not being sorry. I mean, the exact same thing you just said. But as it pertains to employees, I mean, I think it's really important that you address it head on. And you touched on something that I've learned the hard way is addressing it when you're calm. It's kind of like don't fire off that email when you're angry. Type it, put it in your drafts, come back and reread it a couple hours later, because it's going to change 100%. You will change.

SPEAKER_06 53:42

Absolutely. I did it, almost did it with another real estate agent the other day. And I mean, her email came off very rude. And uh, but my husband always says, I look into things too much, like the text messages, the intonation is not there. It's not somebody's voice, you know. So he's like, I think you're looking into it too much. I don't think I think it's just them saying whatever, you know. So I was about to fire back and I was like, you know, paratype it and I took a breath and I walked away and I came back and I did it again. And then I finally said, you know what, it's not worth it. Right. It's not worth it, you know. So I just let her mean comment or rude comment. Maybe it's not rude, and I just let it go. This wasn't easy to do, but I did it. Right.

unknown 54:27

Right.

SPEAKER_07 54:28

Where I struggle is uh it's taken me a while to learn this too. Now it happens again. And you let it slide.

SPEAKER_06 54:37

Right.

SPEAKER_07 54:38

And then it happens again, and then I'm kind of like, I hit the point where I'm like, all right, maybe God's trying to tell me it's an opportunity to coach this person.

SPEAKER_05 54:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:49

Not because I'm better than them, but maybe they don't even realize how this is coming off.

SPEAKER_05 54:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:54

Um, because I feel like there's this, and that's my way of justifying it a positive way, you know, because the other side of me is like, I don't want to get fiery and put them in their place. Um and I find that to be a real challenge where there's certain personalities who are keyboard warriors.

SPEAKER_05 55:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 55:13

And then um when you you know, sometimes you have to confront the bully. Yes. And um, and it's hard in a professional context, um, or an employee employer relationship, or a client relationship. Um, but ultimately I do think that you've gotta at some point, if it continues, you probably have to find a way to address it. And it's a real challenge. And and some people don't take it very well.

SPEAKER_03 55:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 55:41

Right.

SPEAKER_03 55:42

And you don't want to ignore it either because then the problem becomes bigger.

SPEAKER_06 55:45

Well, and then they keep doing it to you and they do it to other people, you know. So yeah, it has to be addressed, preferably via conversation, though, you know, and say, hey, is there an issue? Because I feel like I've done my job, I feel like I've done this. Please let me know if I've communicated something poorly, right? Or if I did something, or whatever, or if you have a preference as to how you would like to communicate to communicate, let me know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 56:10

As one of our former bosses used to say, with all due respect, um, I learned that at watching him in court. That was his polite way of telling the judge or opposing counsel, yeah, you know, uh, you're wrong. And I'm gonna tell you why you're wrong. Yeah, but I have to be courteous. With all due respect. With all due respect. Yes. Um, and that's a little formal for most settings, but I watched and learned him use that technique, and um, and I've used it on occasion when it's great. Um it is it is hard because you don't want to, at least for me, I don't want to come across ever as cocky or pompous or pretentious. Those are things that I characteristics I just literally cannot stand.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

Right.

SPEAKER_07 56:54

Um, and so I'm always then counterbalancing in my head, even though I know that the scenario is set up where I'm probably correct, yeah, that their tone is off or the way they're handling it, but then I'm counterbalanced in my head. Well, maybe, you know, maybe you came off the wrong way. And if you reply, maybe you're gonna reply the wrong way. Yeah, so yeah. But I do think that your advice is good, which is um write the text to the email, don't send it. Right. Text is trickier. Well, now you can recall the text, but you gotta do it quick because you gotta do it quick because that they read it. Most people are reading the text faster than they reply.

SPEAKER_04 57:30

Me.

SPEAKER_07 57:30

Um, and so uh, you know, but taking that moment to calm the brain, yeah, it's not worth it.

SPEAKER_06 57:39

Because I I would spit some stuff off sometimes, and it's not it's not worth it, honestly. You know, to start like, hey, just take a deep breath.

SPEAKER_07 57:48

The other thing that gets me is, and I've had this experience over the last several months, back to the sorry thing. There are just so many instances where it's like something is so clear that all you really want someone to do is just say, hey, sorry. Yeah, yeah. It's just not that complicated. I feel like most people say it way too often. And some people don't ever say it. And then you've got this other block of people who, you know, just robbed you blind and you caught them, and you're like, Can you just tell me I'm sorry? Right.

SPEAKER_03 58:18

I'll forgive you.

SPEAKER_07 58:19

It will make it all feel better. Uh just say you're sorry.

SPEAKER_03 58:22

The sorry, not sorry.

SPEAKER_07 58:25

And I went through this with someone, with a business owner, and in three different scenarios or four, where they were clearly no, it is there's no debate that that they were on the wrong side of it.

SPEAKER_05 58:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 58:39

Crystal clear. And I was the customer. And it was boiling my blood. And all I really want.

SPEAKER_06 58:46

All they needed to say was sorry. Hey, man, and you'd have been fine.

SPEAKER_07 58:49

Or my bad. There's a hundred ways to say it. Yeah. You know, I don't care how you say it. And until the end of the relationship, which I ended recently, never did get it.

SPEAKER_05 58:57

Nothing.

SPEAKER_07 58:58

You know, so I shared it not with that person, but with their employee and said, you know, this could be so simple.

SPEAKER_05 59:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:04

Right.

SPEAKER_07 59:05

Just my bad. People make mistakes. I get it.

SPEAKER_06 59:07

Absolutely. Just own it.

SPEAKER_05 59:09

Just own it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 59:09

I mean, let's just move on.

SPEAKER_05 59:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 59:11

So it's this weird, I don't know, dichotomy is the right word, but these these groups of people who, you know, some overuse it, some will never say it. Um, which I've been I've been uh told I don't say it with uh family too often, but um I'm working on it. I'm trying. That's not common, and I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

I'm totally kidding.

SPEAKER_07 59:32

It's hard when you are so close to perfection that you know it's just hard to say you're sorry.

SPEAKER_03 59:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 59:39

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03 59:41

Um, what is something most people don't know about you? Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 59:50

I guess it's been so long that I did have a sister. Um, and then um I changed my last name when I was 18. Okay. Yeah. Um, it's my grandfather's name. So I don't know. I don't feel like there's really anything major that people don't know about me.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:09

I'd say those are two big major two. I mean, I changed my last name and you had a sister.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:15

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:17

So asking for a friend, were you in the CIA or anything? Or no? Okay, I was just trying. I think you could tell us. Um yeah, that is interesting. I thought you were gonna say that you were really good at making sandwiches, finger sandwiches.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:28

I am really good at that. Yeah, yeah. Three things you put. I am really good at making a finger sandwich. If you ever like order late somewhere, you know, you need some help, just let me know.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:38

Did you cut the ends off?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta use an electric knife. Oh, gotta have shaved meat. Oh, I did not know that. Okay. Shaved meat. And you can injure your injure your shoulder doing that, shaving meat.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:53

I'm more worried about the fingers when I watch people, I can't even watch it at the deli. Watching them do the meat. I'm like, oh my god, this is I'm thinking I can pack their finger on.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:01

Working in the deli for so long, I can people would ask for like um pastrami. And I think it's pastrami that has all the pepper on the outside. Worst, because the pepper gets all over the slicer, and then you gotta clean the slicer before you cut anybody else's meat. Yeah. Anyway, oh wow, one of my pet peeves that I it hurts my heart to ask for shaved meat at the grocery store because I know, sorry, I know how bad it is, like what a pain it is to slice.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:32

I was gonna say something really dumb. What? Because I I would have never I didn't know you could order that from the dog. I would have never even now that you're saying shaved meat, I'm like, man, that is why the sandwiches you get from the grocery store are always a little better than what people make them at home. Yeah, and now I know the answer is so simple right there. Then I'm like, I didn't even know you could ask the deli to shave the meat.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:52

I definitely didn't know that. Yeah, it just takes longer, right? So, anyway, yeah, and I usually like I've made finger sandwiches, but always do like mini pullboys because I find those are easier to make. So you gotta have like the electric.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:08

I don't know that you would clean a fish with these things, but you know, just the electric, and then you just cut the crust off, you know. Yeah, a little electric bread knife, kind of like wow, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:19

All right, well, that's a good tip. No, I know because I entertain a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:22

So shaved meat. Shaved meat.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:25

It feels like the tuna salad and the egg salad is starting to fall off the sandwich.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:31

A lot of people, I guess, don't I don't want it, you know?

SPEAKER_07 1:02:34

Well, I mean, I think 20 years ago, I felt like anywhere you went that had finger sandwiches, it was part of it. And now it's like you never see them.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:43

Well, I think it would be like two ham sandwiches, two turkey, two roast beef, two egg, two chicken salad, right? Maybe that's too many.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:55

Anyway, I rarely saw the chicken salad. I think that was more like a special order. Probably because it was pricier.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:59

Yeah, maybe so. They're so good, they're usually good.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:04

Well, and now you show up with like what I call the traditional sandwiches in place, and everybody's like looking at it like who brought this? Because now everybody, including Langenstein, is doing the fancy sandwiches, and they've got you know the croissants with chicken salad and moceladas, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:24

And then um, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:27

The finger sandwiches. Yeah. Didn't know we'd get into that today, but this is good information.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:32

Good information, passing it, passing it along. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:36

Um, how do you define success? Definitely not money, but it is nice to be comfortable, right? I don't some people I feel like they want more, want more, want more, want more. I feel like, like right now in my life, I am very fortunate. I have a great husband, I have two children, my mom lives next door. Um, my grandmother is still healthy and alive at 94 years old. Um, so I feel like, you know, just being happy with what you have. I mean, I I feel like I'm successful, you know. I mean, I some people want the million-dollar houses, some people want the yachts or whatever. And I'm just kind of like, oh, I don't want to. You know, I want to take my kids on some cool experiences. Um I think I'll deem myself successful when my kids are um contributing to society. Okay. Now, how old are your kids? They are almost 14 twins. Oh, awesome. Yep.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:43

So two boys, two girls, boy girl.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:46

Boy girl.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:46

Oh, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:47

Yeah. So my daughter is on the spectrum. So this is something that I kind of wanted to reach out to y'all about. Maybe y'all can help me. So if I were to ever change roles or, you know, um, not lifestyle, you know, uh jobs, it would be to do something for my daughter for her to be able to feel like or to contribute to society, you know, being on the spectrum, you know, has obviously it's different challenges. And I know that she um is a she's a great person, she's got a good heart, but you know, everyday life is not the easiest thing for her. So if there was ever something different that I wanted to do, it would be something. I don't know if you've ever seen uh Jordan shirts on TikTok. She, it's a a young lady who's on the spectrum and her mom started this t-shirt shop, and it is ginormous now. But like she posts pictures and videos of Jordan and how they make accommodations for her. So like they have a little card, you know, like from Jordan, whatever. So the card slides into a holder and she signs her name or she print, you know, has a stamp or something to where she's able to. Make the little cards, or when she makes the sticker packs, they do a template. She puts one here, one here, one here, one here. She gathers them all together, she puts them all together, puts them in a bag, and they're ready to go. Right. You know, two. Right. It's very interesting to me. This mom did this, and now it's this thriving business, and not so much to make money, but to make her daughter feel like she's contributing to or is contributing to society. Right. You know, so that would be my uh kind of my thing in the back of my head that I'm like, okay, what can we do? You know? So I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:35

Something process-oriented, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:06:37

Yeah, well, I mean, she loves bracelets. And I actually actually asked uh, I don't know what your name of ChatGBT was.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:44

Grok, who used the that's the Twitter or X version.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:48

Oh, okay. Well, I asked Chat GBT the other day, just like, hey, what kind of businesses for my daughters on the spectrum? Would she be able to thrive and you know, be um, you know, add to society, yada, yada. And it says uh it says some pretty cool things, you know. Um, but I emailed it to myself so I could read over it. But it I feel like that's if I did something different, that's what I would like to do. Yeah, that's figure that out. Yeah, you know, because I'm not sure that she would ever live on her own. So maybe, you know, when my husband and I are older for her to like maybe travel with us, but something that she could continue doing while we're traveling. Do you homeschool her? No, she goes to a school in a bid up. It's called Bright House Learning Academy. Um, it's great, it's a great school. She loves it. There's a lot of children there who are on the spectrum. Um, maybe I'm not gonna say all this right, but in the public school system, you get to a certain point where they kind of want you to go to a certain school with behavioral issues, a lot of behavioral issues, and a lot of parents may send their children there because they need somebody somewhere for the child to go for the day. Right. Right. And her teachers, where she was, said that's not the place for her, you know, she doesn't have behavioral issues, it's just uh, you know, late cognitive development. So we found this place, Bright House Learning Academy, and it's amazing. Um she's probably like six kids in her class. Oh, good. Um, and they're great. It's she loves it. So she can actually technically graduate from there if she wants to. And so if one day she does want to go to college and there's some sort of situation where she can, you know, go alongside a mentor or whatnot, then that opportunity will be there. So it's pretty cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:38

Yeah, and I think I feel like um that desire of a parent, at least from my perspective, my girls are 24 and 22 now. Um and and and or not don't have any medical issues that they're dealing with. But that that feel of a parent of like, you know, how could I do something cool with them? I don't know about for them in their in their case, yeah, because it's a little different, right? But um that that desire is there from a parent standpoint. Um and then there's the other side where it's like, you know, they've got it, they've got to figure it out. Um, because most of the ideas I've come up with, it's like that sounds good, but what exactly would my role be? It's like, oh, you would be at the coffee shop at 5 a.m. Yeah, because I'm not going to buy it. Um and I gotta work out at like 10 o'clock. So um but yeah, I think that that is a normal, um, at least for me, I think that's a fairly normal feel of like, you know, it's interesting looking at your kids and going, what are they gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:46

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:47

And then it's like, I don't know, that some parents I think feel like, how could I facilitate that beyond doing the things that you're doing to give them a good foundation and hopefully some good core values, yes, education and all those things. Uh, and then seeing what you do in life, hopefully that translates into leading by example, a good example. So I'm presuming all those things are in a good place, as we know they're not from those people, but um, and then it's like this little desire of more, it'd be kind of cool to do something together.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:16

Um, which was gonna be another question I had for you, which is so you've seen two family businesses that you've been exposed to, involved in, and deeply involved in. Uh would are, you know, well, here we go. You were saying maybe we could give you advice now, maybe so. You know, if I was like, you know, let's say it's a couple weeks from now and we're at the gym, and I'm like, hey, guess what? I'm gonna go into this business deal with my daughter, one of my daughters. What would you say to me from a what's a watch out? Maybe like, okay, well, here's some thoughts. And what would you tell me as far as hey, it could be great, right? Like, what's the pros and cons from your seat of what you've seen?

SPEAKER_06 1:10:58

It can be great. It can also be harder, though, being that it's family and money can change people. And so even if there's um just, hey, we're gonna start this small little business and tinker with this, like make sure you're as a an attorney, right? Make sure there's percentage of ownership or whatever, however, you want, you know, does she get 51? Do you get 51? That sort of thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:26

Do you have a bit more like 991?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:30

Do you have a third person on the board who breaks a tie vote? You know, I guess it depends on how big this business goes, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:41

So treat it as arm's length as possible.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:43

I think so. I mean, I mean, you you don't want to lose the relationship over a business with your daughter ever. Right. Right. Yeah.

unknown 1:11:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:54

Well, the old line, never go in business with family or friends.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:57

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:58

Which I've done multiple times.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:01

And and fortunately, um in all but one circumstance it worked out.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:08

Um with that said, there's there's been a couple that were probably the st the probability of it going bad was probably great. But I think it didn't, given the strength of the relationship. Um so I feel very blessed that it didn't. Um and when I was going into one of them, I had a business partner say to me, Um, I said, What do you think about this idea? He says, I think it's a terrible idea. It's totally gonna go to crap. And I was like, Oh, okay. He said, But I think you should do it anyway. And I said, Well, that's interesting advice. He goes, Because, you know, you're in a position to do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:52

Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:53

Family, do it and just deal with it.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:56

You know, if it goes bad, but it will.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:59

And it it didn't go totally bad, but there were some challenges. Yes. Um, and then that person said, Well, I told you so, but see, it was still a good experience. Yes, right. And I thought that was good advice. Yeah. Um, but I do think it comes to the strength of the relationship.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:12

Yes. Well, there's a couple of times my mom and I, when we were still doing, you know, she still owns part of the store, but she's basically a silent, you know, partner. And there's been a couple of times where I've made some choices and she's like, I don't agree with that. You need to come speak with me first. And I'm like, uh, okay, sorry, my bad. I didn't think it was a problem.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:31

Well, it's good you said sorry and my bad. There's a two ways to do it. Was this a scenario that we where you maybe you wrote a text back and you were like, okay, I'm not gonna say this because it's mom.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:39

No, no, no, no, no. I just we were on the phone and she was not happy, and so I knew it wasn't gonna, you know, get any better. So I just appeased her and said, I'll let you know next time.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:51

Right.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:52

You know, fair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:53

Yeah. And and I don't, but some other sage advice that I think is applicable to this, it was not given to me in the context, but I think it's applicable. I was talking to someone one day and they were telling me that um they shared a boat with their cousin.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:11

And um, and I said, Oh, how did how's that going? He's like, Well, it's great because you get to share the expense and all that. And he says, but he says, You have to understand you can't sweat the small stuff. And I was like, What do you mean? He's like, Well, like, for example, most of the time when I show up to use the boat, there's no gas in it. And he said, It used to just drive me nuts. And he said, But ultimately, I knew I knew my cousin wasn't doing that intentionally. We love each other, yeah. It's just how the brain operates and whatever. And he said, And so, or you know, maybe there's a little small nick somewhere or whatever. It's like you can't sweat the small stuff, yeah. And I think it's very applicable, yeah, being in business or having family work for you.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:55

Very much so. Yeah, very good advice.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:57

Yeah, you gotta just kind of keep it.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:59

Is it gonna matter in five years? Most of the time, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:03

And that's a great way to look at it.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:06

Well, that's a great way to look at it. On that note, I saw something the other day. It was one of these little things that pops up on Instagram, and um, it was somewhat spiritual, but it really wasn't in that context. I picked it up as being spiritual, but it was like, you know, a hundred years from now, no one's gonna remember you for most people. Yeah, obviously, some people who risk to reach a certain amount of fame in a building's named after them, maybe the names out there.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:30

Yeah, or you have a podcast, right? Because it will be out there forever and everything.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:34

Especially very successful, yeah. Um, and uh, you know, so a hundred years from now, for 99% of the population, no one will, yeah, even family will not, your great-great-grand will not know who you are. And so to me, what I took away from I think the point the person was making was is so don't sweat the small stuff. Yeah, these things we think are important ultimately.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:58

I think it is easier said than done. It's so right. And the older we get, I feel like it does get easier. I'm like, who cares really? Like maybe we care for that moment, but nobody else has even noticed that whatever's gone wrong, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:12

So it's like you know, I've been trying to take it down a notch over the last couple of years.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:18

I feel like I was so tightly wound, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:24

And um, I don't know if Anna agrees, but I was having uh a drink with my cousin and I said, Do you feel like I've kind of calmed a little bit? She's like, Yeah, I definitely think you've calmed down a little bit. And um, not that I was irate or anything, but just in in just reacting to mostly business things. And yeah, like you say, when you're a business owner, it it flows over into your personal life. Absolutely. You know, just always wanting everything to be not necessarily my way, but the way it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:51

Yes, as a business needs to be run.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:54

So I feel like that in a family event too. Like, what do you mean you're coming at 11? You're supposed to be here at 10.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:59

So trying to do a better job with focusing on the big stuff and not let the small stuff get to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:06

Um, but it's hard.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:08

It is hard.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:10

You meant for me or just in general?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:11

In general. Okay, good. No, I mean, I I if you're asking me, I just feel like right now the the work relationship, the podcast is just different for us. You know, we were in a different environment where I think you had to be a certain way, I had to be a certain way. With this, it's just kind of more flexibility. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:32

So I think I think kids make you a little more flexible too. You know, you have to go with the flow sometimes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:40

They make you crazy too.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:42

Yeah. And you're just like, oh, you know what? They're spit up on the floor, or there's what you know, it's just gonna have to stay there till I get back, you know, whatever the kids mean.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:50

I said they make you crazy. I always, every time we go on vacation, I'm like, that's it. We are not, we're not doing this again. Like, and then we do it a month later.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:58

I was gonna say, like six days later, she's like, Yeah, let's go on vacation again.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:01

Let's go on vacation again.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:02

Uh, and especially the older they get, you know. So now having to be a parent of adults.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:11

You think it's harder?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:13

I don't know that it's harder. I think I think it's harder for many. I walk I'm watching, you know, I like seeing how other people do things. Yeah. Take the best and leave the worst. I definitely think a lot of people struggle with it. Um like becoming empty nesters or no, uh, well, I think people struggle with that too. Yeah, that's uh to me another whole topic of discussion. Um, of how do you, you know, right now, so think about it. If you look at the three of us, you have what six and six and three. Six and three.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:44

You have two at 14, yeah, and I've got 22, 24. Yeah. So we are really, you know, at a lot of three different stages share, you know, three different stages and all very, very different. Um, and so no, I think um the the the ability to adapt the parenting style, which is challenging if you're a proactive parent.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:08

Um, and and moving to like, hey, you know, at 14, it's my way or the highway. Yeah, you're living in my house. I'm gonna give you some discretion.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:19

Um, and as my dad would say, you know, I'm gonna give you the rope and it's gonna be a long rope. And dependent upon what you do, depend upon how short it is or if it disappears.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:28

Um, and that's how I was raised. And then, and so, but with with the girls, it's like now they're you know, they're adults. And so ultimately the conversations over the last several years have shifted to like, you know, I'm gonna give you my thoughts sometimes when you don't want them, because I'm your dad and I'm your biggest cheerleader that you'll ever have. Yeah, and I'm gonna also try to learn to not give you my thoughts sometimes. And ultimately, this is your life, you know. So whether it's what you're gonna study in school or where you're gonna go to school, or you know, who you're gonna hang out with, you know, when you're 14, I have control over that. Yeah, mostly, unless it's from you and Juliet. Um, I've got more control, but at 22. No. So you have to, in my opinion, you have to adapt and you have to shift because I don't want to be parenting Zoe and Haley like they're 14. Right. That doesn't work. No. And I know people who are still in that relationship with their parents at 40, and it's like it drives them nuts. Yeah. Um, fair. So I think I think God prepares us through the stages to get ready for ultimately where I want to land, which is, you know, I'm I'm always gonna be your dad.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:39

Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:39

Yes, but you want to raise successful children and in however they define it, and um, not the way I define it. Yeah, you know, that's another big issue. Yeah, because I think your kids grow up seeing you as early on as kind of these, you know, these superheroes to a certain degree. And but they don't really know a lot about your background.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:01

No, yeah, and it's very interesting.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:03

I'm still learning. My dad's 75, we spent a ton of time together. I'm very blessed, like you. Yeah, my dad lives across the street from us, and um, so I spent a lot of time. I'm still learning things about my dad. Is that cool stories? Yeah, like, how have I never heard this story, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:21:19

Um, I mean, he does have a million stories, a million great stories, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:24

Um, and still, you know, I'm still learning, yeah, you know, from him. Yeah, and that's what I want with my kids. I want to, you know, but I don't want to have my thumb on them all the time. Yeah, you know, because that just doesn't work. And I see that. I'm like, gotta let it go.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:40

You know, the biggest one I see is when the kids go off to college. It's literally almost, it's almost, it's about 90%. I hear from one of the parents, it's like, I don't even hear from Anna. She's up there, it's like, don't hear from.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:56

You know, wise, wise parents have always been through it. Go, that's actually a good thing. That means things are going well.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:01

They're they're not on the struggle bus. Yeah, they're they're figuring it out. Like, don't be offended. Yeah, it's an opportunity to spread their wings and just let them do it. But that's hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:13

Yes, because our personality is what? Check in. That's how we are, right? Just check in. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:20

But you want them to be able to do it on their own, and you raise them to be able to do it on their own, you know, set your alarm clock, da-da-da, do all the things, and then they can do it. And it's like, huh, okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:32

And then be careful what you wish for, because I always say, you know, I want to raise independent women, you know, that that can stand up for themselves, you know, that can have a strong personality when needed.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:47

Right. And then you get it, and you're like, maybe this is not existing.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:51

Maybe not that strong.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:53

Maybe not this independent, you know. Um, but ultimately it's, you know, yeah, I think it's important.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:58

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:59

And um, especially I feel, and this is probably controversial, but when raising girls, I think um it's different.

unknown 1:23:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:06

I haven't raised boys, but I have nephews that I treat like children, and um I think the styles are a little bit different.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:14

Um, and uh like my dad used to always say, you know, he said he had boys for a reason.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:19

Because, you know, my dad's discipline in most instances was what was coming out of his mouth would have probably broken the heart of a little girl.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:26

Yeah. But he wouldn't have said that kind of stuff for the little girl. He wouldn't have.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:30

And um, and so you know, I think God's hand plays a role in that too. Yes, you know, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:39

All right. Um, best advice given to you. Can I quote something? Sure.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:46

This I try to use this every day is it's better to be the one who smiled than didn't smile back. So walk into a room, don't walk in, you know, walk in with a presence and uh not that you're better than anybody, it's not like you know, but just light the room up, don't dim it. Yeah, you know, would be the best advice. Even if you don't know what you're getting yourself into, and if you're not sure of the situation, put your shoulders back and give yourself a little uh kick in the hind knee and you can do it, you know. I like that.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:24

Yeah, I haven't heard that one.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:28

But you know where it took me. Remember, we used to tell people at work, like, say good morning. If you're passing by someone, just good morning. Remember, some people would just walk and like, oh I feel like, oh god, that's so odd.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:40

I feel like it's grumpy. Like, not grumpy, but like, are they sad? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:47

So, best advice that you would give um to our listeners.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:54

Even if you don't feel like you have a village, there are people out there who are willing to help you. You just gotta find them. So, like, you know, like the meet and greets in Folsom, the business meetings that they have, even if it's not quote unquote your industry, there are people who are there who are willing to sit down and talk to you and guide you if you're kind of lost or you feel like you're swimming in circles and you don't know which direction to go.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:24

I like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:24

I like that a lot. It I tend to tell my nieces and nephews that in a different way, like build a network, don't burn bridges. If you meet someone, even if you don't think that that person can help you in some way, build the connection because later on in life you may need that person. Yes, advice, whatever.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:47

Absolutely. You know, the older generation has a lot of good advice, you know. Very true. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:54

I do find that some people again, I think it comes to wiring. They they struggle with the networking, and that's the fancy way of saying it.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:06

But uh to talking to people.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:09

Well, I think there's a lot of people who struggle with that, and I think that's a growing wave based upon the life behind communication, right? And the cell phone is a very good idea. That's making it more difficult, right? Um, but speaking to someone, walking in a room with a smile, or you know, walking in like you belong, yeah, so in a cocky way, yeah. Like you belong, are all the first side of that formula. And then to me, then it's okay, then once you meet someone, did they express an interest in you in some way? And then when they do, it's incumbent upon you to then play that out. Because I I what I've found is there are passive and active mentors, passive and active coaches, all of which end up in your village. Um, and I've been very blessed to have a lot of active in the active group, but I've also been taught to find the passive ones and go after them as well. And um, and I think they both offer it's because it's different personalities.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:16

Yes, right.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:17

Um but I definitely think that's that's good advice for people to try to try to build your village.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:23

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:24

And accept when people want to, when someone opens up to you or, you know, I work with my nieces and my nephews and my kids on this, it's like, you know, if you're somewhere and you're in a work context and you meet someone, they come in, and then you find they come in again or you interact with them and they they remembered you, yeah, and they're older and whatever, and they're in the same line of work or whatever, and then they're like, Oh, let me give you my number. I'm like, that's a sign. Yeah. They see there's something in you that that they're interested in. Yes, right. And you need to grab it aggressively and go after it. Yeah. Don't let that pass.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:58

Yeah. But I think it's just as important. That when you're in the position to then help people, right? Your knowledge to then pass it along, just like you got it from you know, somebody else. Um, you know, little girls, little horse girls, they always make horse treats, right? And they're like, Hey, do you want to buy my horse treats and sell them in your tack trailer or whatever? And I'll say, Well, let me explain how retail and you know, wholesale retail work. And they're all like, What? I'm like, Well, I have to make money when I sell them, right? Right. So like you have to do A, B, and C, calculate your time, your ingredients, your supplies, all that stuff, right? And you can tell me how much you would need to sell them to make a little bit of money. And they're all going, okay, okay, you know, and but it's important, just even those little tidbits. Yeah, to have dropping knowledge. Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:51

She's dropping the knowledge.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:52

You gotta, you've got to pass keep it going, though, is important to build the village, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:58

I agree. I think we're good about that though. You and I like we see something good in a person, and we're like, hey, let's reach out to this person and let's take them under our wing. And let's, yeah. And I look, that's that's been a passion of mine since I can remember mentoring, coaching, managing people. Like I just really, really have always enjoyed that.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:18

Yeah. Always. It's nice to see what you you know what blooms out of a bud that's so closed off, and then you, you know, help them peel back the layers and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:30

Well, we're almost wrapped up here. Sure. Um, we always end with the same question. Okay. So I'll kick it to Anna, and this is just an instant response. Okay. And then we're gonna wrap it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:40

If you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be?

SPEAKER_06 1:29:44

Um, uh, my latest person that I really like and am very uh enamored by his Dolly Parton.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:51

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:52

That's a good one. Yeah. And what's your part of the question though?

SPEAKER_07 1:29:55

Where would you go eat?

SPEAKER_01 1:29:57

Oh, uh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:59

I'd probably have my husband cook.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:02

Perfect.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:03

Well, thank you very much. I know you're busy. Yeah. And uh we appreciate your time.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:07

Yeah, thanks for having me. I appreciate it. This was great.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:10

So thanks.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:11

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:11

Thank you.