After the Births | Officially Dads

The boys are finally here! The first episode post kids as the dads adjust to fatherhood

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Everybody ready? Right. Alright, welcome in. We're back. So back. The break is over. Where am I? We survived.

SPEAKER_05 0:10

We're here. Baby survived. The women survived.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Everyone's happy.

SPEAKER_05 0:14

How many weeks out? Are are I think I'm 11?

SPEAKER_01 0:17

I think we cut it off like right like early March. Maybe From when we last recorded?

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Oh, I meant 11 weeks. Yeah, you meant baby, right? Yeah, baby's 11 weeks. I think I'm 10. Yeah, 10. You guys, yeah, I'm nine. Nine and six. Two and a half, two and a half, three months right now. For babes? Yeah. Yeah. We're all over the place, man. We're a little rusty, as you can tell, but we're gonna we're gonna bring you guys some decent content, man. Because we have a lot to talk about. No guarantees.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

So a lot to talk about. For the listener, for the audience, basic, they probably don't know. We all had three sons within eight days. But they don't know that all we have. I guess we could have listeners. We have no new listeners.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

We have new listeners.

SPEAKER_05 0:57

Oh, yeah, they don't know the eight days. Back to back to back. Yes. Three three boys. We were at the hospital when we got the when we got the notification that you guys were in labor.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

So Cal's was what date?

SPEAKER_05 1:09

Cal was March 20th.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

March 20th. Tatum was March 23rd. Crazy. That is I mean you can't draw it up. I mean, granted, the the deliver you know the due dates were close to begin with, but yeah, I feel like we weren't expecting to be uh more or less a calendar week uh from each other.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

No, you guys were the biggest knocker, I think. Like coming in two weeks.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

She was two, she was two weeks early. Yeah, she was two weeks early. Which and I've told this a thousand times at this point. I mean it this feels like old news, but yeah, but remember the listener. I know the listener. Like the it was so dumb, I was kind of just so wrapped up in work that I felt like even though they say like, yeah, she's gonna go at any point, it just wasn't on my radar that he could actually come like two weeks early. Everyone says, Okay, your first one typically, you know, will be late. And so I was more or less just set on, okay. Well, you know, 41 weeks. That's probably when things are I'll start watching.

SPEAKER_05 2:10

I feel like with you guys, I had it, I had an idea in my head, a day in my head where it's like, all right, I'll I'm mentally like ready for it at this day. I thought it was gonna come. What are you thinking? Our due date was the 13th. Okay, I thought she was gonna come like the ninth. Yeah, but because then we got induced like a week later, like we were just like it wasn't just waiting. Like you were just waiting, which is I can't imagine going two weeks before. I was not two weeks before.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Right, I literally I had two presentations at work that I had to give. Oh gosh. And literally that Sunday, Allie, I mean, 6 a.m., she goes, Christian, I think something's happening. And I ears and I was like, you know, selfishly, I'm like, okay, here's you know, gonna meet my son, but then I'm like, well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 2:54

That'll work. So were you going to the were you because you guys you she thinks something happens, you guys go to the hospital to like confirm, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:02

So we I mean I'm not trying to get you in trouble. Were you like were you like thinking like I kind of hope I get another few days, you know? Were you like, were you like, let's go, let's do that. I was ready. Oh, yeah, I was ready.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Yeah, you know, and like I I'm gonna get in trouble for making that comment. Like, I was 99% happy that I, you know, that my son was coming, but then I was like, oh shit. I also don't have to work that. That is yeah, so you know, something to pay attention to. But no, I I mean I I was ready. I mean, we we kind of took our sweet uh if we want to just jump into kind of birth stories, sure, yeah. Um I mean, we took our sweet time for the most part, like she just started. See, this is where it gets weird because what do you got? How detailed, how detailed do I get into? I mean, you know, super detailed. I mean, so clearly something was happening. Like the the water, the water we had our theories that the water broke, and so we're like, okay.

SPEAKER_05 3:51

All right, I since since we got induced, so we didn't have the water breaking, and that's a rarity. I want the water breaking.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

What is what was the water breaking? Was it movie like balloon or was it drip?

SPEAKER_01 4:01

No, so it was like uh so it was probably like 536. So you know, as you guys know, there's a lot going on. No, no, there's nothing there's a lot going on with these females, and so like there are things there's things that happen that are kind of standard stuff for for women, yeah. You know, so anyway, so so something happened where this is tough. This is tough. So I mean, just I don't know. Um, I guess we can always edit in post, but yeah, so Allie kind of gets off, like, oh okay, something something happened. Let me just like go and and go to the bath bathroom, clean myself up, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

You're making it sound like she shit herself, dude. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

It's better than saying like yeah, discharge. I mean we're gonna have to cut this up.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

The entire cut this up, man.

SPEAKER_05 4:58

But you guys figure, I mean, something happened and then something happened.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Something happened, something happened. So something's time to go. So something happened.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

So here's here's the picture I'll paint. Um gross. She goes to the bathroom, you know, as if it's just any other morning, but then it continues to happen. And that was kind of the first sign, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Because which I heard it's like that's like peep they can girls confuse it with exactly so.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Allie was saying, like, okay, I you know, this just happened. Like, I'm not gonna even wake up Christian. This is kind of just standard practice. She's 38 weeks pregnant at this point. Like, this is kind of just stuff does hit stuff happens.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Anything, yeah. It's just kind of it's kind of hard.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

We're giving you a hard time. It's kind of hard.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Stuff will be used in a lot of our vocabulary in this episode.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Um, we can go too into each. So the thing was, it was just like it just kept happening. And and what she kept saying was like, I there's no like you can't control it. And it would just kind of yeah, period like every five, ten minutes, it was just flush.

SPEAKER_05 5:59

She didn't immediately know is basically my she did not know immediately. That's what I was doing. It wasn't like the movies where I think it is. Yeah, right. Amanda's water didn't break, right? Because she she but she started having like contractions.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yes, yeah, yeah. And I feel like the that the movie, like people don't know, but like the movie thing where it's like, oh, like my water broke, uh, we gotta go. That's like a super rare, like yeah, it's like a 10-15% thing. Really, and also like at least what our doctor told us was like if your water breaks, you do not need to rush to the hospital. No, like you can like you can take a shower, you can you got time.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

We we stopped at Panera on the way. I got myself a little breakfast sandwich, and I got you a lot of coffee. So like we were we were relaxed.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

What time did you go? Because I think we were similar.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

We so she woke me up at 6 a.m. We probably got to the hospital by 7 30, 8, 8 o'clock.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

I have a nightmare story on on that because Amanda started feeling contractions at like like 1 a.m. And we so we didn't sleep. Really? And they got c more contracted.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

So you're you're you're gonna have to time them at this point, is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

We we were timing them up until 5 a.m. We were up the entire time.

SPEAKER_05 7:12

I've heard like night because like you can maybe sleep through the early ones.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

That was not that was not snow. I had like two energy drinks to get to the like I was I was so tired. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

Um, and then you're there at five already tired, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

And I took like a 30-minute nap because they had a we had like that little like not to say uh it is obviously way harder on the weekend.

SPEAKER_03 7:43

Like I was I was done for by the time I got to the hospital, man. This is rough. This would have been ever been through.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

No, no. I mean, just I mean now you're in the hospital. I had to have two energy drinks. Yeah, dude. It was um no, but I mean, like, I slept for like like a half hour on this the rinky dink, you know, yeah, yeah, the couch that's like the worst, but they could like they could give you a bat, like they could do like just bring us a cot, you know? Like, come on, you know we're about to be there. Yeah, just a cot.

SPEAKER_05 8:19

That's all I'm asking for.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Which, you know, and then it's everyone's like, well, you're like, I know. I'm not saying that, like, obviously what they're doing is made way harder, and yes, and they deserve way more than us, but like give me a lot of things.

SPEAKER_05 8:33

So you went you were there contraction, yeah. So then you got there at five.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

And then what and then so yeah, we checked in or five thirty, we checked into triage, um, and they were like they tested the water is actually broken. The water was not broke, but they tested like for dilation, like how dilated. I don't think this is given like I don't think this is TMI, but it's she was this is all gonna be TMI. It's all she was just like three centimeters, and so then so that was like enough for them to admit. And I was like, they were like, we have to ask your doctor because we have like you know our own like um we have to ask your doctor, yeah, if we can admit you.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

And we were like, but strange.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Yeah, but obviously she was like, of course. And then so yeah, we got admitted, and then pretty quickly after that, like she got her uh epidural put in because the contraction was a little bit more.

SPEAKER_05 9:25

Yeah, I mean sounds like they were heavy, heavy heavy early on.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Because it's it's interesting because Allie we confirmed that the water broke, but like really she wasn't having any contraction.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

So that we had like kind of yeah, yeah. She man, that's interesting. I mean it wasn't until they're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_05 9:40

You guys got their water broke. Do they give you the the like Potosin, whatever, to speed to give you the stuff to speed it along?

SPEAKER_01 9:46

So what yeah, so like once they confirmed that the water was broken, then they're like, Okay, do you do you want to get into a room? And Allie was just like, okay, is it okay if that I just walk around a little bit just to kind of see how if it can naturally progress? Because they were at they were like, Oh, do you do you want Potosa? And we're like, Yeah, we will at probably at some point, but like we just got here kind of thing. Like, obviously, there's there's risk if you go like beyond 24 hours with your water broken, but like all she wanted to do was just walk around, and they're like okay, yeah. I mean, we we can do that. So that kind of put me kind of uh at ease or on edge a little bit. But I mean, the for the first was she dial it? Is this yeah, yeah. No, she I mean at that point she was uh one not dilated. Okay, that's interesting that she okay, so that's yeah, um, but then so she started walking around, they gave her like a a medicine ball or whatever, or not a medicine ball, like an exercise ball. She was jumping on that a little bit, and then I mean for the first like three, four hours, she had dilated to like five centimeters within and like very quickly. Oh wow, and so the that the nurses were like, Oh, how was she doing pain-wise?

SPEAKER_05 10:54

Like, were you she was doing fine? She was doing really good. Um, it's so it's so interesting how like they can have such different experiences.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

But then, yeah, so at at like five centimeters, she ended up like uh just a wave of contraction just like hit out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

They're painful, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

And so it got really intense. And so that's when she went to the same basically Amanda, yeah. That's when she got the epidural, and then that's when things like A slowed down significantly, significantly, like her dilation definitely kind of stalled once she got the epidural, but then that's when the pain honestly like started ratcheting up even more.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

Wait, it got worse with the epidural.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

So yeah, that and that it was like so for them, obviously they don't know what it's supposed to feel like.

SPEAKER_05 11:40

They just Danielle just said it was a bunch of pressure, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Right. It's like yeah, but but what's what's to say, like, oh yeah, the epidural is working, but like you're still gonna feel the contractions, you're still gonna feel the pain, like you're not just completely numb to everything anything. But but how do you say it was like I'm good, really? She like okay, so that but that's what's different with Allie was like she was in a lot of pain. Okay. Like yeah, after the even after the epidural, and so we're like, okay, is the epidural like I have to assume the epidural is working, but like how much of this is you know right.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

How much should I be feeling like what exactly should should I be at?

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Yeah, and kind of on a tangent, like your the nurse that you have is everything. Shout out the nurses, shout out the nurses. Shout out to the nurses.

SPEAKER_05 12:28

They were like make or break on these experiences.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Shout out to made or braid made made or broke your experience.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

If you're a nurse and you work at Henry Ford Hospital and you're listening to this episode, shout, shout, shout out because I'm sure they are. I mean, yeah, shout out all the nurses.

SPEAKER_05 12:45

We had like we had a lot of nurses and they were all pretty good. Like I was I was very impressed. There was a couple that was like a little.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

But anyway, so like you know the reason why I bring up the nurses. Shout out my family. Um shout out Christian's family. Uh every every one of my family's uh nurses. But they the one night nurse that we had was just like very, I don't know, like almost dismissive, where she was like, Oh yeah, no, like yeah, you're in labor, like you're gonna feel pain. Uh in a weird, weird, like snarky way, which again kind of caught me. I'm like, okay, that's I don't really like that. But anyway, so against another tangent story. We had someone there, like a friend of a friend that came in and just came and visited us that worked in that floor, and she was like, Oh, yeah, if you're in like a lot, a lot of pain here, like you should get this. I think it's like a boson or something like that. Um, it's more like just a a bump of the epidural itself.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Yeah, yeah. Um, dude, so okay, I can't remember. Question about the epidural. Did they did you have a uh yeah? I forget the name of it, I know what you're talking about, but could you do it yourself?

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Yeah, I was pressing the button. I was a mind job, yeah. My job was the button hitter.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Yeah, but you only get two per hour, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:59

So I was Danielle kept on being she would call it button. You should say button, I'd have to deliver the bad news. I was like, we're not there yet, baby. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Your name was button at that. Press the button. I'm just like, it's so true. It's so true. Yeah, like that the what little value you can provide, you're like, uh said to be the bad news. Um, but anyway, so she got that extra dumb. Pad's not ready. She got the extra dumps. And the pain at that point was like a lot more manageable because that up into that point the bed was pretty, it was pretty intense for her. And she was just like like she had all these different like a comb or something that she was squeezing. She ended up just grabbing my hand and just like crushed.

SPEAKER_05 14:45

Did I did I tell you that? Did I show you the picture that no? So they had the beds, you know, the hospital beds. And if you're like listening, like you can picture the beds where you're kind of like sitting up and they've got like the armrests that you can do it. The bed Danielle's on, it's got literally like claw marks where the handholds are. And I was just like, damn.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

I think you might, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:04

It was crazy. I didn't tell that to Danielle because I wanted to scare her, but I was like, ooh, yeah. It's a fun omen.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

I mean, it's it's it is one of those things where like you are truly as the guy. Oh, I mean, so it I've never felt more helpless in my in my entire entire life.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

And it you're in awe and you're you're you're like you're just witnessing and it's you're you're just along for the ride. Yes, my brother. You're trying to do everything you can, and it's even no matter how little you're like, at least that like I was like, like, do you like you help walk into the bath?

SPEAKER_01 15:34

You need you need a snack, do you need what like and you can't water, fan, anything, and it's like try to find different areas to help, but like it ends up being just pretty their journey to yeah, it's really yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:45

The crazy part for me was just like how it's the like the most stressful day of my life, and then like it's everybody dares just regular day, you know. Like it's like usual, yeah. But you'd you'd spend 12 hours with the nurse and then they just clock out and they're like, all right, good luck, you know. It was like that's crazy how it's just like you know, you can have different perspectives on that. It it was it was crazy. Yep. Well, so she she goes, it starts ramping up. What time was that?

SPEAKER_01 16:12

This is, I mean, yeah. So it was probably like one to two o'clock, maybe that she was already at five centimeters, got the epidural. She didn't then start pushing until like midnight. So, like that, that you know, the second half to ten was like just that was just a grueling, grueling time where it was just like she was feeling these contractions, and then you're like, you know, the they they come and check them, which another tangent. Like, I thought that it was gonna be a little bit more scientific how they check their dilation. They just kind of just shove it down.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

Well, did they do so? We yeah, we TMI warning. Yeah, our doctor, he did he did touch touch, and then like is that what they do? And then oh no, they was he saying touch touch? He was saying like touch touch. Oh no, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

And then yeah, and I was like, All right, like the anyway, uh, it is just a very they'll send it, but um, but so they would come in check her, right? And they'd be like, you know, four hours had gone by, and they're like, Oh well, she dilated another two centimeters, she's up to seven. We'll check her again another four hours, and then it's like dang, man.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

Damn, and so like you're just sitting there and you're like you're hoping that is she move so like for Amanda, she was at that like similar point journey, which was I think it was like seven o'clock. She was moving around PM. Yeah, because that's I think, yeah, yeah. But was did Allie like was she with the waiting? Was she moving around? No, no.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Oh, she was just sitting just well you're saying like within the position wise, yes, not like walking, yeah. Like she was doing all the yeah, at the yeah, so she, you know, they're moving back and forth and they're like watching the monitor and and the heart rate and you can just watch, and that was the most like stress-inducing thing. Like, you're just watching the heartbeat, watching the heartbeat, then it would like take a dip, then it come back, RBR. Go to one hundred cycle, and then it would spike and it'd come down, and so you're just like and the contraction that thing is that thing's pretty cool. You're just white knuckling the whole time. You're just like, oh gosh. But um, but yeah, I mean, it by uh midnight, you know, like it was just such a I mean again, speaking from the the guy's perspective, sure. Yeah, obviously I'm I'm can't imagine what actually preface this with they the uh forced it.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

They're the star of the show in this.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

100% um can take no credit whatsoever. But like by the time it was like midnight and they're like they came in, they were like, Oh yeah, ready to push. Um Allie, Allie was just like time to lock in. Yeah, and so she just was like, All right, I'm getting this motherfucker out of here. And so she pushed for like 12 minutes, which I'm I'm told is just like that's insane, insanely short amount of time. That's insane. Um medically they call that a slip and slide. Yeah, no, she just sent it, man. She sent it. Um, so I mean, and and then he was there, and then he's just like, I how did that go when he first came out?

SPEAKER_02 19:11

So was it a clean, like it was not clean. Okay, because like Luca, like he had like a cool I I that was kind of a drop it's not like I obviously.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Yeah, but like he came out like I'm saying what yeah, like did he come out and was like he like crying or what did he do? Yeah, no, he he I mean he came out okay crying right away, and he they immediately just dropped him on Allie's.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

They do chuck him, yes, they chuck him. Yeah, they're just like okay, here's I'm saying Luca what he it took him a second to cry, and it was like that that's like the longest. It is it is it's and they were like kind of rushing, they plopped him onto Amanda, so just not to sidebar this, but they plopped him on Amanda and they were like, Dad, want to cut the cord? Like, and they'd like real quick, like, okay, like do it. And I was like, Alright, like real quick. The cord's also long, then right? The cord is long. They gave me, they give you like a what would you did? You cut the gave you like make it two inch two inches.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

They're like cut direct for the beard.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

It seems more ceremonial than it absolutely is because they cut like um anyway, but um, yeah, so they were like, Dad cut the cord and they plopped him onto Amanda, and he wasn't like really crying or doing anything, because I don't know. The cord is it wasn't wrapped around his neck, but it was like like a sash kind of around his shoulders. And then they were like, Okay, we're gonna take him now. And they took him, took him over the incubation thing, and it took like 20 seconds, and then he started absolutely belting. But yeah, obviously that was like screaming and that was such a relief. It was like it's the best songs you've never heard in your life. It's it is terrifying.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Um the whole process is just genuinely when I look back on it now. I'm like, what the f like you don't know like you don't know anything, it's just like you learn. We had uh yeah, and Connor, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:54

Yeah, I mean ours was I don't want to bum the audience out of the way.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

We just we want to get ours out of the way because Connor, this is ours is not good, right?

SPEAKER_05 21:00

It was just not a good time, you know. So it was like we had a we had a unplanned C-section, right? After being there for two days, you know, so it's just like it just didn't go good, right? So it's just like you just you know, it's a ton of you gain a ton of respect for everyone who has to go through that because it's just like it's not I think the hardest part, like a c-section in itself, like first of all, I didn't know like I didn't really know like it what I mean. I obviously I knew what a C-section was, but like I didn't realize how violent it like a C-section is. So it's like it's scary to be a part of that when I think you're not that's terrifying. Like when you're not mentally prepared for that, right? So like that's like that in itself is something. But like it was just tough planning to have to not have that, and then like you get like the rug pulled, it's like alright, like you just spent two days trying to work up to uh yes natural. Yeah, to a natural birth, and then it's like it's like all right, and you're not gonna get there. Like the frustrating thing about us is like I like I don't have to get in like every detail, but like every Everything Danielle tried just didn't work. And it was like super painful. Yeah. And like you can't, there's like you just feel terrible for her. Like you know the experience is not going well. Like they had to break her water and they had to do it twice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

They had to like oh, because there's the like leaders was in like a bad position and it like they like in it.

SPEAKER_05 22:19

Like you could tell it hurt, right? They had to put a foley in to like expand her to three manually. And like you could tell that really hurts. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 22:26

Um, they had to put like a monitor in to like do it to like monitor her contractions. It's like all of this like was happening uh like before the epidural and like it was just like before oh yeah, right. Because that was like in the first, yeah, because that was all the first like 24 hours, right? And like then they finally break her water, and then she's like, you're just waiting, and then like we're waiting for 24 hours after they broke her water and like hardly any progress. Yeah, and then finally we get some progress. Um, and she gets all the way up to eight centimeters really fast, and you're like, all right, well, you finally think all of this is gonna be worth it. It's happening, yeah. And then like she stalls out at eight, and then you have to go like C-section right away. And like that's where like I not knowing medicine, no, like am like freaking out because like it seemed urgent. Like they were just like, it wasn't like, all right, here's like we're gonna discuss your options, like we think she wants to go first. It was like 10 people come in the room and they're like, All right, we're gonna go right now. Yeah, and then like she's just gone, like you know, and she's like they bring me in like five minutes into it, right? Um, I think like for people in medicine, it probably was not as scary, but like for me, it's like this is like a very right, like scary situation. Yeah, uh, but then you know the c-section was as far as c-sections go, I think it went, you know, as good as you like they pull the baby out pretty early in the surgery, and like he's crying right away. So like you like I mean that's great. They're able to tell you like you like he's healthy uh pretty early on. And then it's just like so like for me it was it was just unfortunate that I felt like so much of our birth was like not centered on like Callahan, it was just like you know, have like like heartbreaking for like Danielle, you know. So it's just like tough to go through it. But yeah, you don't need to mean more memory detail. You get to like the end, like in like that's what I kept saying to Danielle. It's like the end stage, like everything worked out. Like obviously it was not the ideal path there, but you got there. But like healthy baby at the end of the day, is yes, and it's just like the first I think it was it was challenging like to like accept that the first you know, first couple weeks, but like now that we're 11 weeks out, it's a lot easier to you know, at least I mean, obviously I'm not Danielle, but like from my perspective, it was so it's getting like you know, it's like you can it's healing, yeah. It's it's a little it's a little healing.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Yeah, isn't it crazy like just looking back or think or like trying to place yourself back in that like state of mind or what what is going on? And it it's right now, like I can be like, oh yeah, it was it was tough, but like realistically in the moment, it's panic, it's all panic.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah, what like you're just uh adrenaline's pumping all the time. And and again, like kind of I just want to say, like, I remember you coming over to the house like a couple days after and and kind of talking through everything, and you know, that Danielle was like sharing her experience, and I I just I mean I give you guys so much so much respect because it like that that hearing you guys talk through that. I mean, that I can't imagine how intense that that would have been for you and and for your family. And it's just like well again, I'm not doing anything, right? Like you're just there, but I don't yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, you're you shouldn't downplay it, Connor, because like you uh even between us two, like yeah, you you were in a completely different situation where you were immediately like you had you had to now take care of Cal, but then you had to take care of Danielle as well. And it's just like and that's all that weights on you, man. And and you fucking.

SPEAKER_05 25:52

I did not realize like C-section was like, I mean, I knew it was surgery, but I didn't know it was like you know, you were like as involved as a surgery as it was, so it was just like, oh, all right, like here. It is pretty crazy that it's crazy to me that like they do that, and then like they they're like, all right, now like so like Danielle just says major surgery. Yes, and I think it's different if it wasn't our first kid, but it's like you're you're it's your first kid, you're trying to learn how to do all the like kid stuff, all the baby stuff, right? And then like you're also like at the same time, like just trying to like recover from a huge surgery and like come down off like the mental side of that, and then you gotta like figure out like oh, here's how to breastfeed, here's how to do like like here's how to like get them to sleep. So it's just like yeah, that is it was just a crazy that is crazy, a crazy like it's the first few days.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

It's a wild, wild time. And like Allie and I had talked about it after the fact. We like in the moment, you know, we we we didn't really say it because it just it's a weird feeling to have, but like when he's first born, like obviously when you're looking at him for the first time, you're just I I describe it as like there was literally like a a a golden filter around my vision, like just staring at him. Like it was just and it was like the highest high I've ever felt in my entire life, kind of thing. What did you take before? Well, we'll we'll talk at the time. So I want to be prepared for this. But but no, I know what you mean. You're you're watching from yeah, like from the butt like you're not for us after we talked about, like it's not it's almost like it's not coming from a place of like love, if that makes sense. It's it's almost all instinctual. It's innate. I I it's just you're you're so like primitive wrapped like you're so wrapped up in what's going on and trying to keep this thing alive that you're not you're not sitting there like with lovey dovey eyes and looking at it. Oh, I know you, yeah. You're just like you're just yep, you just are thrown into this thing and immediately need to perform, and it's just like you're you just do it. Yeah, there's no question that like that's you're tired, you're more tired than you've ever been in your entire life, but you just get it done.

SPEAKER_05 27:58

Yeah, that is, I mean, I was I was surprised. I was I wouldn't say I was worried, but I was like I was a tiny bit worried about like not having you know because I'm not really like a baby guy in general. Sorry, sorry. So I was like a slightly worried about like all right, maybe it'll take me a little bit to to form a connection. This can be a good transition. As soon as the as he came out and was crying, I was like, that's my like that's my kid. Like I just that's just like an idea. Right. So it was like and it was it was, it was just like that's just instinct.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

It was like and it's such a different type of like that you've never felt before, friend. Like I've never been like, you know, I have pets, I have family, whatever. It's it's it's just so different.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

It's so profound. Yeah, but and we were talking about it on the way, like again, like you you're and even like the first couple you yourself are in survival mode and you're trying to keep your family and like alive, obviously. But like it's not until you get that first for me, me too, that first smile, the first crack smile where you're just like okay, now now the love is kicking in there. Now it's just like okay, this is everything that I've got.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

Them recognizing you, and almost seemingly like I've had, and it's obviously not, but at least I don't think it is, but like like almost like a conversation where you're making he's mimicking kind of noises, you're just making noises back and forth. And he's going, uh it's it's like it's it's uh it's the best best feeling in the world.

SPEAKER_05 29:23

It really is though. I I think it was the I don't know, it was probably like the yeah, eight-week mark, like where like you can tell they know right, like they know you, you know, yes, like very well, and like they're like smiling.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

It's like it is like it is just that's like there's so much payoff in the it's very wholesome. It is because like yeah, everything leading up to that is just like you're you're just keeping you're not getting anything.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

No, you're like, all right, I'm waking up at three, and you're keeping it exactly um, you're just grinding, yeah. I'm yeah, seriously.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

You're just not getting anything, yeah, you know, from them, but then as soon as they give something back, you're like, okay, I'm doing all that every fun every time.

SPEAKER_02 30:01

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Um exactly. Um so I mean it's just it's insane.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

It's it's it's crazy, and it I feel weird. Like, I don't know, like were you guys ever like growing up, were you thinking like, I can't wait to have a baby?

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Like, was that in your like um I I knew I was playing with dolls, you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

Pockets, man, that was my shit.

SPEAKER_05 30:24

Like, I just never I never feel like I knew I was gonna be a dad, I never thought about it.

SPEAKER_02 30:28

That's what I mean. Like I never put it into the mindset, like of like, oh, this is what it's gonna be like.

SPEAKER_05 30:33

Truly, I never thought about taking care of a baby, you know.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

It was just like even now, I said off to the maids. Even now, I feel like there's like a sense of like imposter syndrome where I walk around with a child and like it feels like I'm just like spot cosplaying as a dad.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

It does. I like it feels like someone's gonna call me out. I was like, are you are you really a dad? You're not doing that right. Like, and I'm like, ah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 31:00

Sometimes I forget it's like it's my kid, I can do I can do whatever I want.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

I can do whatever I want with him.

SPEAKER_05 31:05

Well, you're not gonna know.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Yeah, I take him to the casino. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

My first curmudgeon for the pot. Like, when people to that point, Connor, like try to give you some sort of like not like that. I'm completely shut off from parental advice. I I'm I'm gonna, you know, advice is welcome with a caveat.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Like when when you are like saying, Oh, this is the correct way to do this, and that's the the way you're doing it's not correct. That's where I'm like, hmm.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

That's when interesting because it's you know your child, yes, and you're like like, because I've been like, okay, he's gonna eat like early on, I was like, he's gonna eat two and a half ounces, and then he he needs a burp. Like, probably don't feed him anymore. And it would people are like, Oh, I I'm gonna try to feed him more. Like, like, no, no, and then they do that, and then he spits up, and you're like, Well, I I told you, like, I yeah. Um not to say that there's I mean, there's good advice, but I there's great advice.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

And I listen, I I'm all I want to get as much as well. It's different from parents, on strangers. Strangers is is is something else. Unsolicited advice where it's like, oh well, what why aren't you doing this? It's like, okay, man. You're not in the in the boiler with me, man.

SPEAKER_05 32:18

Yeah, we took we took him out, and again, it was different 20 years or he was young and we took him out, and we were getting we got we got lectured by the Costco cashier saying like you should take the baby out.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

Like, oh no, this would never no.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

I was like, maybe they were right, but I was like, I was like, So you're right, he's already here, so like you're going a little hard on us. It's funny you say that because like we we've I mean it was probably I don't know, three, four days after Tatum was born, maybe for like five days, and we were out at Target, like just kind of just getting out of the house, like walking around and stuff like that. And someone had made a comment to Allie and I, like, oh man, you're you're braver than me. And it's just like there is that it kind of just hits you where you're like, man, like are like are we just being too haphazard about this? I totally there is that internal like insecurity because you're just like you're like the first time, right? Like, I uh if we're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

We took our baby to the hideout like when he was five days old. Yeah, I mean a local bar. Exactly. And I think and you have every goddamn given right to do right. There was no one, like there was no so not to call CPS, but there was no one in there, so and we were just getting food. And I we wanted to get back, like we're you know, when you've been watching your baby for so long and you're only doing that for like a week straight, you want to get back to like at least having like some normality.

SPEAKER_05 33:43

I think it's good to take them out. I think it's very good.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

I mean, it it explains.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

And they I don't think they were trying to, but like prodding like up trying to get you to feel guilty about it. I'm like, nah, man, I'm gonna do it in L. Right. Like, this is a decision we are making as a family.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

This is what's gonna happen, and you don't have to answer to anybody else, especially when it's something that's not like it's not like you're smoking around the like you're not, you know. There's a lot worse you can do.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

There's a lot, like there's a lot worse you can do. Yeah, well, yeah, I had to I had to throw a curmudgeon. What's that?

SPEAKER_05 34:15

You got any other curmudgeons on like non like non-I got my own stuff. Non-taking, yeah, yeah. I'll I'll curmudge my current in my own stuff. No, first you gonna go for a few. Seems like you got some beef with him.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Well, just one little uh side note beef. Because you know, he I know when he's pooping, right? And I'm holding him, and he's making his boss a wrapped in noises, and I'm like working him out to get like every, you know, you're you're doing the legs. You gotta play the angles. Yeah, you gotta play the angles because he there was a moment where he wasn't pooping except for once every three days. And uh I stand up with him because he's he's done pooping, I'm getting ready to go change him, and I'm like, man, what's warm on my shirt? Oh no, I'm wearing a white Germany uh soccer jersey. Oh, you hate it. I was like two brown streaks, so I was like, yeah, that was that was a bit of a bummer, but yeah, um Luca, when you grow up, you owe me a jersey.

SPEAKER_05 35:14

So was he he was on the is he off of the pooping once a every three days? Now he's doing every day. He's doing it every day. Cal is Cal was like pooping multiple times a day. Yes, for sure. And then recently in the last couple weeks, he's switched to like he's like in every other day. Oh, and true. That's good. Do you like that? I like it. I mean, I think I like it better. Well, well, the first few were bad, and now they're kind of like not that bad just every other day. Yeah, what's your what's you live in a like a state of fear now? Like I feel like I'm gonna see. Like being out on Cali, like the big ones coming, you know.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

Like I'm I'm always worried about him doing it when we're out. You know, I'm I'm like, because we if he blows up, you have to go home. You can't like yeah, I don't know. What's your what's your curmudgeon?

SPEAKER_05 35:58

My my curmudgeon on Cal on Baby Cal is I feel like he was like for the first six weeks, like perfect baby. Like, or at least like like there was not like it's like, yeah, how's the baby? It's like, yeah, he's good. Uh and then out of nowhere, he just stopped like sleeping during the day. Yeah, like that he won't he'll sleep at night fine, but he doesn't nap during the day well. So he's like, You gotta like work to get him to nap. Yeah, and it's just like I would like it was just like buddy, you used to sleep all the time. Like, what's up with this? Like, just go to bed. It's just so frustrating. You know this, like you you can tell they want to sleep, so just sleep. Like, what are you doing, man?

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Yeah, that that was a learning curve for us, like, especially the first couple weeks was like we just assumed, okay, when he's tired, he'll fall asleep. But like, there's there's times a little, yeah, it does you you need to kind of get him like that. Yeah, I didn't realize that. Meaning, don't get overtired.

SPEAKER_05 36:50

We were not educated enough on like the whole wake windows, and like you gotta like make sure they try and fall asleep. Um, but like he just doesn't want to do it, you know. Like he just like, yeah, I'm good. Yeah, no, it's funny. Like, he'll be tired and he'll be like falling asleep, and he starts to cry because he like feels himself falling asleep. Yes, right, and he like doesn't want to do it. Exactly. It is a little funny, but very frustrating. Right, sure.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Tatum is getting to that point as well. Again, he's just it it is fun to kind of see him just now be aware of his surroundings, but it's now like when he's eating, when he's falling asleep, he'll just kind of like, oh and just be staring at it, and you're like, dude, all this prior. Like, I you were right on the verge of getting him to shut his eyes, and now he's just ripping.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Yeah. Um yeah, I mean, it's like they know they know what they know, they know what they're tired and they know, yeah. Which is fun because it's like they wouldn't, yes. I it's tough, but it's like I also wouldn't. I like I I kind of like going through it too.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

I'm glad that like I can see that proc like this. He can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

I wouldn't want to base it. I wouldn't want to jump forward and see like click, you know, the movie click. I wouldn't want to that was a word.

SPEAKER_05 37:57

I could be convinced to click a few months. I can't wait. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Couple nights I'll click.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

I don't I don't know. I don't think I would. Maybe nights, maybe some nights. I don't know. I wouldn't want to miss it.

SPEAKER_05 38:07

I hear you though, because like the smile and stuff, but like I like now. I'm just like, I want to like I can't wait for him to talk. Like, you know, it's like I want him to talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

What do you think of this bat, Cal? Um quick curmudgeon from Tatum. First, like I mean, it was probably the first month, maybe month and a half. Without fail, if you did not cover his unit while you were changing him, he would pee right on you. Really? He would pee right on you. No matter what. As soon as that breeze hit his hit his junk, he was gone. He was gone. Just fountain. And so like you know, it'd be like other ones? No, yeah, there's a I mean, there's a couple explosions. I mean, I've I've been pooped on, barfed on, peed on like a hundred times at this point. But it's just it's not grow like I thought it was gonna be a lot grosser than it was. Um, it's just like oh shit, I just got shit on.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

I'll give Kevin. That's just funny. Like, it's real, like at least for me, I don't like his poop doesn't like I'm not like I'm not bothered by it.

SPEAKER_05 39:06

Yeah, I think it I think everyone says it'll get worse. Like when they do solids, yeah, the poops get worse. And because they get bigger too, right? So it's like sure, sure. Yeah, but yeah, I would say overall the diaper changes, like that. Is not the part like that gets overemphasized as far as like child care. It's like not bit, it's not a big deal at all. Like it's just like it's really not. You can just you know swap them, wipe, boom. Yes, it's like two seconds.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

That is one of the biggest when people are like, Oh my gosh, you know, how's changing diaper? It's yeah, it's easy. I mean, there's a lot of things. I change I change a ton of diapers. Yes, a shit ton to emphasize. But I'm um, but yeah, no, I mean it's not it's not that bad. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

Not not nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Yeah, now the volume of it is sometimes what do you guys think? It depends on the time and place. Like when it's 3 a.m. and you're changing them, you're just like, oh that does get a little but like it's you it's kind of cruise control at that point. Like you can just kind of okay, good.

SPEAKER_05 40:01

Yeah, for me it's not the it's the it's just the constant feeding, it's the having to be fed every two hours, and then we're I think we're kind of over like mainly the cluster feeding, like like for the most part, but like like when you're just like Izzy, like you just like you want to eat all the time, and then it's just like eating once every hour. Yeah, and like Cal, like like did okay, he was probably like meat, like did okay with breastfeeding. Like he wasn't a pro, but he wasn't like you know, he did a little bit, and it was just like you gotta go through the frustrations with that. Yes, women need more than two nipples as a as a side conversation. Like it's two is a voice of the women. Two is not enough. I speak for everyone. Who's saying no to more nipples? You know, Cal would like more. Mine did I don't think Danielle would be like, yeah, third, yeah, I'm against it. Where would you put it? I think just right in the middle. Just another valve in a row, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

What's crazy is like I Allie and I have the same take of like the lactation consultants, these people know their job better than anybody knows their job in in the history of the world. Like they just it it is truly like you you underappreciate, like, oh yeah, the baby's gonna come out, they're gonna latch and they're gonna feed and be fine. Yeah, like no, there is like truly a science behind getting these motherfuckers to eat.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

We didn't get our lactation console until like the day we left. Really? Yeah, it's like but the nurses. Yeah, no, because they wait nurses.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

They want to wait like 24 hours typically.

SPEAKER_02 41:24

Yeah, but the nurses were also trained, they were trained in like lactation. I don't know if that was the same as um, so they were they were very helpful for that. So yeah. Again, shout out the nurses, they were they were shout out the nurses, man. They were great, they were fantastic.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

Um I gotta shout out the in-laws. Really? And and my family, but all the family. Yes, that's my family. Yeah, much in the family. All the unsolicited advice.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_05 41:52

No, I would shout out the families.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

The families have been huge. Yeah, it's a great, it's a great shout-out. I completely concur. I like it. It is like today. Allie's mom came over, all she did was just kind of keep them occupied. Allie and I got two more hours of sleep. That two hours, I mean, it just truly it's worth its weight in gold. Yeah, I mean, it's unbelievable what two hours can do for you.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Yeah. My I shout out my mother-in-law, she did stay the first two days or first two nights that we were back. She just did like laundry, hung out with Luca. Yeah, and it yeah, like gave us like a couple hours of sleep.

SPEAKER_05 42:28

Yeah, the first night we the first night we were back, it was uh my parents came over and just like we're we're with them like the whole night and like just let me and Danielle sleep. Yeah, which was like so needed.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

Right. Yeah, definitely. I have a shout-out. I'll shout out all three. The moms, man. Yes, we gotta give them we gotta give them their due. I mean it it really it is it solidifies. I I don't know we all probably feel the same way. It solidifies like all the feelings of just like I made I made the right decision because it's like you have raising a child is so damn difficult that like if you can't lean on your person to do not to do their part, but like count on them to to to put forth the effort that is needed to make sure that this thing lives a good life, like you know, it it you know, I I just can't imagine living life being like, oh man, this this yeah, you know, like I'm I'm doing this, this, this.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

I mean just shout out them for what they had to go through. I mean, yeah, yeah, it's it's going through it, it's it's truly an insane thing to see, and and I like I mean that would scare the shit out of me if I had to go through something like that. So um, yeah, shout out them for that.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

And they all bounce back, man.

SPEAKER_05 43:40

Like they're uh they're up more they're all hanging out with my dads for shipping the shipping this where we're at my house and we ship the ship the babies to another.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

We'll get the kids on at once. I've tried to have 'em here. I think we had we needed just, you know, the dads. We needed a dad. We just needed the dads and then

SPEAKER_05 44:00

I feel like Trabag because this is why I say this is this is Cal's demon time, you know. Like this is the part of the day where he he fights sleep the most. Some nights he's fine, yeah, but some sometimes he's not because yeah, they have to burn off a bunch of people. I called him demon, I called him a demon around I don't I forget who it was. I don't know if it was like my parents or something. They're like, what? Like, why are you calling me a demon? It's like scrolling.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

You know? No, sometimes they do uh seem like they're possessed. The noises, definitely. Okay. So I think it's a good time. Unless there's anything else. I got so I gotta have some questions that I I pose to the chat. I didn't I don't have answers, so I might have to do some some free balling, but I'll I'll pose this one.

SPEAKER_05 44:42

What's been your most underrated uh baby equipment? Go ahead. I thought you were pulling my own. I was teening the Christians teen. This is the thing.

SPEAKER_03 44:52

I thought he was like searching for I got it I got it, I got it. All right, never mind, never mind. Scratch, scratch.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

We'll come back. All right, now what's that's that's not it's it's along the same lines.

SPEAKER_01 45:03

What is the most unexpected thing about being a dad so far no one warns you about? It's kind of along the same line.

SPEAKER_05 45:10

I was struggling to see how they're along the same lines.

SPEAKER_01 45:13

Uh what is the most repeat, can we repeat the most unexpected thing about being a dad? Language of origin.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

I'd say how much the baby uh smokes cigarettes. That I can't believe how he's right out.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

Yeah, it's like on his way out from the hospital. It's pretty impressive.

SPEAKER_02 45:30

You had to give him the patches a little earlier. Yeah, I know start him on a CPS is coming. Uh most unexpected?

SPEAKER_01 45:39

Yeah, I gotta think about this one too.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

The noises, I think, were like, because I think we saw things that were like like kind of prepping for that, but like some of the noises are like what the hell is going on? You see the memes, and you're like Yeah, and you're like it's not like it's like it truly is like dinosaur like demon noises like of like the grunting is just ridiculous. And you're and you're like, at least for like I was like it's so hard to sleep because like he's next to me in the in the in the bedroom in the bassinet, and it's like I can't sleep. Those first two weeks I didn't sleep. Like just when he's right next to you and he's making those noises, and you you feel the constant need to let me get you up, let me what do you need? Like, what is what is the problem? That the noises were for sure. That was intense. Yeah, but that was unexpected.

SPEAKER_05 46:24

It's a good one. Um I feel like I mean, I feel like mine is like how different they all are, like how like different every like baby is or like piece of advice. Like, I feel like this is also a converge of mine for like there's way too much uh things online, yeah, like that you can just like oh, like this person says to do this, this person says to do that, and like there's 80 million tips and tricks that are gonna work differently for like if like different babies you can find. And it's just like I don't know, it's just like yeah, like because I feel like having you guys like yeah, I feel like cows a lot different than like what Luca is, right? I think they're just it's like very like they give you all the one size fits all advice, yes, but like the babies are obviously not very they want they're not like specialized. Nobody's nobody's telling them the advice, you know.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

So it's like you know, no one cued in, no one cued him in. Yeah, no, it's a good point. And there's so like just so much information out there. So much information.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

And I like some of it works on it, so I I find it helpful, but like, yeah, some of it is like that doesn't that didn't do anything. No, so it's just yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:30

I did not expect how quickly they outgrow the newborn stuff. I think people told me that and I didn't I didn't listen, you know, but like the zero to threes, he's not even three months and he's like done with zero to three closed, right? Yeah, and like it's just like he's he's over it, you know. Like newborn car seat, like done. Like it's just like that's such a quick phase.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

Yeah, yes. Like I I genuinely remember, like you think, okay, I'm I'm carrying this thing every single day. Like I would, it's it's probably gonna be so gradual that I don't notice the change. No, I remember days picking him up, I was like, you are actually way heavier than literally just yesterday. Yeah, right. Like it really is insane, and you look totally different.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

Like, yeah, you see pictures just from yes, from when he like when we brought him home and to five days after that, he looks so different, like hair-wise, every like everything it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

Yeah, no, I I think probably my unexpected is along those lines of like how quickly change just like but mentally, like they I mean yeah, that first couple weeks they they truly are just kind of like a loaf. Yeah, but now like just the past two weeks. I feel like he's looking around, he's seeing things, he's smiling, and you know, becoming a man, making noises and stuff like that. It truly, I'm like, wow, like he's yeah, a whole ass human. Yeah, for real. Um, so that's you know, one of the exciting things.

SPEAKER_05 48:48

I don't, I did not, I'm starting to see Cal as a human, but I you know, the first like he's more like he's just an extension of me, not right. Yeah, like when I we were at like his his very first like pediatrician, and they're like, All right, like Callahan Ahora, I was like, that's not like this is this is my appointment. Like, come on, let's be like, it's not his appointment, like, yeah, he's here, you know. This is it's funny to see that, yeah. It it is but you forget like he is an actual, like everybody starts off right as a helpless little baby.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

What's crazy is like you guys, you know, we all came up with a name, right? And after I'm sure months and months and months of like, okay, what about this? What about this, whatever? But then to hear someone else call them that name is just the strange I don't know why that that hit me so weird. Oh, it was just like, yeah, they're calling them Tatum. That's just a name I just literally we just made up, and we're like, Yeah, we like right, right. We we like the way it sounds. And hearing their birthday, but that's that's them now. That is now their identity. Yeah, it's kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

And hearing their birthday or trying to remember their birthday too, is also like like like when I first like three, what's his birthday? And I'm like, uh oh, uh three three twenty eight, twenty twenty twenty twenty six.

SPEAKER_05 49:56

I keep on writing three twenty ninety six, you know, because it's like you know, like I said, I'm like writing my birthday. Right, I got you. Well, it's because he's like, Yeah, my birthday is March 20. Like it's like two days, you know. I'm like, oh, I'm writing my birthday. Oh no, it's yeah, no, I get that.

SPEAKER_02 50:09

Yeah, not my birthday. It is very strange. I will say another curmudgeon for me is just side note again, is the the two-month vaccines. Him getting the the the poke of that. Yeah, not to no like him getting the like Was he wailed? Yeah, like I was like, so I was right next to him, and like he get he got poked and he his whole body jolted. Oh it was like it was like truly it was like trauma. Heartbreaking, like where I was like I felt that way.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

Damn, like so. Tatum has pretty nasty reflux, so we ended up having like a uh ENT appointment. Um, and so we brought him in there, they're like, Yeah, no, he's he's good, everything like that. But they they had to do like a little a scope where they took like a little wire and shoved it up his nose and like checked his like yeah, you know, he doesn't like it. It truly like it. I know we're laughing, but it's your your imitation was your your heart just sinks for the guy, and you know they're fine, and like I feel like you know it's you know it's fine, but it it is like even when they're crying, like it it truly feels like the world is ending for them, and you want to take that away from them, but you but you gotta take a step back to the city.

SPEAKER_05 51:25

I think what what helps me when like because Calder had a little catheter to check some on yeah his low kidney, and like you know, they're like crying, but like this is the same guy that will cry if you sneeze, exactly. You know, so it's like you had to play yourself, buddy. It's funny. My dad was like, Don't worry, he won't remember. It's like, yeah. I like yeah, you know, I think I don't think he will. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

But he literally won't. Um but okay, kind of go back to your question.

SPEAKER_05 51:52

I I wasn't up in my question wasn't very interesting.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

I just said wow equipment.

SPEAKER_05 51:56

Yeah, like wow, I was just trying to kill time here. What are we at right now?

SPEAKER_01 51:59

Trying to save some dead air. Um 53. I mean, we still got a couple more.

SPEAKER_05 52:04

Give me a other question. You want to I won't interrupt. You want to interrupt?

SPEAKER_06 52:08

Thank you. Oh, I do want to interrupt. I do want to interrupt. Okay, let me ask you by all means.

SPEAKER_05 52:12

Have you had to have have you had a period or a day where your like your arm or shoulder is sore? Yes. Because like sadly, I've had multiple days where I'm like, I can't hold I can't hold a medicine. For me, I can no longer hold up this 12-pound weight. For me, it's my back.

unknown 52:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:27

For me, like when I'm hunched over. When I'm hunched over holding him like that, like it just there's just this one spot where I'm like, oh my gosh, it feels like someone's stabbing me.

SPEAKER_02 52:37

I've had thoughts where I was like, what workout or what did I do yesterday?

SPEAKER_01 52:42

And I was like, no, I'm I'm just I'm just carrying the damn baby, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:45

Carrying.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

And you're not just like sitting holding the baby, you're up moving, no, yeah, yeah. You're swooping, you're doing you're doing anything you can to get this guy to the hell up. Sorry, I think that's the way that's the the the true dad came out there. I had to get that one on my chest. Um yeah, no, I I've literally got back in the gym. I'm like, I I need to I need to strengthen my body because like he's only gonna get chubby.

SPEAKER_02 53:13

Yeah. Like I gotta be ready to go. You gotta do the medicine ball.

SPEAKER_05 53:16

Yeah, you gotta do this. I gotta, I gotta work. I can only like so like like I said, he has a hard time falling asleep. So like I had to rock him to sleep. But I have a left hand hold on my rock. Yeah, I can't I can't rock with my right. I gotta get to go on the gym, get some, get some get that sort of thing. I'm like Jalen Brown, you know? Yeah, you can't you can't go one hand.

SPEAKER_01 53:33

He's got no he's got no left. Oh right. All right, next one. Um, what has been the biggest I have no idea what I'm doing moment so far?

SPEAKER_05 53:42

I I'll expose us. We had a very embarrassing moment uh when we took, like I said, we took him out to Costco. I'd have forget how old he was, you know, a few weeks. Um and it's it's Costco, so it's like obviously busy. And thankfully we parked far away because I was like, I don't want to park next person. And it's our first time like taking him out using the stroller, blah blah blah. We do all that, everything's going fine. We're back at the car, and like it's pretty windy, it's not like raining or anything, but it's like windy, like we want to get him aside, it's a little cold, and like we couldn't figure out for a solid like how to get the car seat out of the stroller. Oh no, and I was like, if anybody is looking at us, this has gotta be like just an all-time low embarrassing moment. Like, we are both just like, how does this thing get out of the yes, it's the back, it's the back leverage. It's the back level. There's like, yeah, there's this like button on the back because there's so many buttons, and I'm like, how is it not these side buttons? There's so many buttons, which it has to be these side buttons, but it's it was not, it's the back lever.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

Yeah, no, I have I have one private. I have one maybe worse than that. Probably I know for a fact it's worse than that. Um, so we were over at my grandma's uh Tatum was meeting them for the first time, everything like that. You know, you bring the car, sometimes you just bring the car seat in with you, as opposed to just getting them out. Um, and I'm like showing my mom and dad, like, okay, yeah, you all you gotta do is just take these two little prong things and just stick them into the mounts of the thing and and you're good. And my mom's like, Where do you put the seatbelt thing? I'm like, what do you mean, what are you talking about? It's like the seatbelt. You have to like strap the thing into the blah blah blah. Because it's like a baseless car seat, right? So it doesn't have like your traditional okay kind of seatbelt things. I'm like, I don't know. I don't have to do that. Yeah, we're looking at the little like uh you know, pick pictogram or whatever, yeah, and it's all strap and I'm like whoopsie. I was like, oh good thing we didn't get them there. So I've been driving for two weeks and uh you know, put my man at risk. So yeah, that was that was a humbling moment. You think you have all the answers, and you're like, no, I can't even put them in the car seat, right?

SPEAKER_02 55:43

I think mine is similar to this car seat where I just didn't put the straps over. I I like it the the the leg straps, I was like, this looks more comfortable. Like it should be like yes, I don't I don't know how to describe it, not like because they just weren't over, they were like tucked in. So I was like, I'll put them there. And then when we got back, um I forget where we were coming from, but uh we got back and Amanda's like, did you put the straps on like this? And I was like, No, somebody Oh, it must have moved, like what? It's crazy. Um so yeah. The car seats are the I mean those are the worst. They are, yeah. I mean I the nurses were telling stories about like dads coming into the um because you need to like you know, you need the car seat, you need to bring in the car seat, yeah, to take them out. They were um they were telling stories about dads bringing in the unpacked car seats, like in the cardboard box into the like the room.

SPEAKER_00 56:43

Not taking any chances, man.

SPEAKER_01 56:48

Not taking any chances.

SPEAKER_05 56:49

That's crazy. That is pretty funny.

SPEAKER_01 56:52

Um, all right, here's another one.

SPEAKER_05 56:54

I got him a little too tan on a walk the other day. Oh, did you? I heard about that. Oh, what do you mean you heard about that?

SPEAKER_01 57:00

Come on now, got back to the mumps. We're just seeing him in Katan.

SPEAKER_05 57:03

You know, he had a he had a nice little seat baseball going on.

SPEAKER_02 57:06

I was like, oh man, I think I didn't know.

SPEAKER_05 57:08

You know, get him a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 57:09

That is like he's gotta I hate when he's sitting in my car and the sun just like we're we're on a drive and the sun gets in his eyes and he's like, I'm sorry, we got a stretch going here. He hates it, man.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

Uh yeah, the sun makes me so nervous, but just like going on walks and constantly being like managing their temperature. Is he too hot?

SPEAKER_02 57:28

Is he like I'm oh I always think he's too hot.

SPEAKER_01 57:30

It's like 60 degrees out, and you're like, oh my gosh, is he check his temperature, check his temperature?

SPEAKER_05 57:35

I always think he's too hot. Just always I don't think we've we haven't checked his temperature once. I don't know if oh really, man. Like not even like a thermometer. I don't think we've I don't think we've thermometer, at least I haven't. I guess I can't.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

That just means you're mentally sound. I've never thought I've never thought uh sick or overheated at any point.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

Allie will tell you because the rhyme or the what you know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_01 57:57

Yes, uh what is it cold cold babies cry, warm babies die. That's what my sister told me.

SPEAKER_02 58:02

It just has stuck in my head that now I'm constantly like he's too hot. Like he's going to die. I don't care if his hands, I don't care if his hands and feet are cold. I just don't want to be hot.

SPEAKER_03 58:14

A take here, and maybe it's a bad take.

SPEAKER_05 58:17

There's too many things that people are like, babies can die if you do that. Because when you say that too many times, you wonder what I do. I just throw it all out the window. So, like, you gotta like you can't say they can die from any old thing because I'll be like, they say they can die from anything, it's and I'll just roll my eyes at it. You gotta give me like the here are the three things that you really give me a probability, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:38

No, I I completely agree.

SPEAKER_05 58:39

But then so, but the counter to oh you can't leave your baby alone on this for six seconds. Like, I think I can, so it'll be fine, you know.

SPEAKER_01 58:46

You can't buckle your baby into the car seat one time. Connor, I agree with you. There's so much out there that it's a lot of fear mongering. He can die. The counter the counter to that, the counter to that is well, it only takes one time. I've heard that a million times. That is what runs through my head every time I leave alone for 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_02 59:03

One time, he can so you can he can suffocate in in two minutes if you if he's on his i've heard I've heard that, and that gave me a lot of comfort. I'm like, two minutes is a long time.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

Plenty of time.

SPEAKER_05 59:15

I can get there. I can get well. It's like I can go, yeah, I can go grab a water in two minutes, I guess. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. So some people are like that. Like, I don't think they'll like put them in a you know leave them alone if they won't leave for like 10 seconds. Right. That that is but you get what I'm saying? Am I am I No, you're not gonna be able to do that? No, there's about like 20. There's a lot out that does do that.

SPEAKER_01 59:35

It does more harm than good because now you're you're focused on everything when you should be focused on like what are those truly three five things that I need to be okay. Don't put a blanket in where they're sleeping. Okay, I won't do that. Like that's you know, make sure you're gonna go to the case. Here's one.

SPEAKER_05 59:51

It's like we put them in the car seat, and like it's like, all right, don't like you know, we're taking them in the car. You can't put a blanket on them in the car.

SPEAKER_03 59:57

Oh, you know, it's like because I'm like, walk me through the physics of how that one's gonna work.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:02

Because I isn't it like with like they can like suffocate on or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:06

Yeah, this is what I'm saying. They could like they're always trying to suffocate on some. They always want to suffer.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:10

How would that happen?

unknown 1:00:12

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:13

I mean, maybe now I see like when they're bigger, like now, like now when he's like kicking around moved, like he's got more force to him.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:18

I wouldn't want to do it, but like you also have the mirror or the camera set up to where you're like you're you're not like just not paying attention to him.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:26

I don't know. I like the the one thing where it's like if it's cold out, don't put him in a winter suit when you put them in the car seat, because then they'll get and I never realized that like wait overheat, which is this is the heat thing again. I cannot get the heat. Well, it's like because it's warm in the car, so you don't put them in uh snow, you know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:47

They say they say, Oh, they need they should have one extra layer than you can.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:52

It's X plus one, yeah. And it's just like all right, well, because then is it X minus one?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:58

I don't know. We we let him one time we took him for a walk and it was hot and he was in like a onesie, you know, he was in like a full like closer to pajama onesie, like a closed in one, yeah. Like it was like he got he got hot. Like I like to get away. And you can I mean, yeah, I think we he got hot.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:14

But you can tell, like he's like he's probably flush, he's probably like breathing heavier. Okay, I should probably step in.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:21

There's nothing worse than like when someone has been help holding him and they're like they give him back to you and he's like wet, and I'm like not wet like P wet, like both that's true.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:33

Um, okay, another one. What's one thing you said pre-kid that now you fully laugh at yourself for?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:44

Why are you looking at me? Uh I don't know. I think I said pre-kid.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:50

I don't know. Like I I had a for whatever reason, like a weird thing with like the pacifier. I'm like, my son's not gonna need a pacifier. Bro, that pacifier clutch. That's my boy. Love the pacify sky. Love the pacifier me and him, man. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:06

See, Cal could care less about the passier. Really? It's been like I could like maybe like five times, I would say it's been like actually helpful. Oh, really? Like been like out of the pacifier was like, yeah, he doesn't seem to, he's not a big pacifier.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

90% of my value as a father is just replacing the pacifier well after he spit it out. That's your job.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:25

That is because they they don't I uh it's like keep it in, man. Like, yeah, and you love it. Why are you like yes, yes, yeah?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:33

But it'll it'll like he'll literally be in a full tear, you drop that thing in there, out, like a light. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:39

Well, you're finding you're fine, you find the ones that he likes and that he doesn't. There's like there's like two that he will not use. Yes, yes, and you you don't like it depends on the nip.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:49

There's some that he, yep, and then you just and then you just end up finding like pacifiers laying around your house, like under yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:56

Whenever I do want one, it's not there, you know. And whenever I'm there, like there's always two sitting somewhere, and then at the time I need it, it's like gone.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:04

It's like that's how I feel about burp rags. There's a thousand burp rags no matter where you go. As soon as the guy bars burps up, gone.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:12

That that's another one. I'd say my answer is it's related to the shadow to the parents, but like, I mean, obviously I knew the parents would be helpful, but like I think if you'd asked me before, I'd have been like, you know, if the end of the day, like I we could survive on our own, you know, like it would have been like without like two sets of helpful parents, it like the first few months would have been so much harder. Yes. You know, it it it gives you like you like there's no like you'd have no illusion of like a regular life, like you know, like we're like I've had the opportunity to like do stuff because like we can find sitters and stuff, but like that would be like oh my gosh, I mean dunzo at that point, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:48

And and the thing is it's like you it's rewarding for them as well because they get to spend time with their of course, yeah, with their grandchild.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:56

Like I I love having divorced parents. It's finally it's finally gotten paid. Now you have another yeah, now I have just more sets. The bench is now the roster's deep.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:07

Oh my gosh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:09

Um I think something I thought of was like the I think I always thought formula would just be let's just do formula all the way. That's easy. Yeah. It's so much easier for like like pumping and uh setting up like breast milk that way, as opposed to making a formula bottle.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:27

Formula bottles are kind of and they're they smell worse and do they really? And especially when you need one ready to go, it kinda it's like Yeah, and then you gotta shake it and you're watering. So you gotta shake it, you gotta make the water. Like, did I do enough scoops?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:38

Like the pit, the pitcher and everything like that. The pitcher? Like, don't do you have like how much do you are you formula are you making at a time?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:46

Like no, you make like a bottle. Six just a bottle. It goes, it goes, it gets worse. You can only use worse, it goes worse faster than breast milk. Yes. So like it only has uh you have to use a 24-hour shelf like that's if you put it in like the fridge right away. If you put it in the fridge, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:00

Okay. And it's because my sister has like a I mean, it's probably uh it's not four gallons.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:05

Unless it's the like the pre-made ones.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

I don't know what you're talking about, but it's just like it's just it's like a full picture of brass milk.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:15

But maybe maybe that's you're saying not formal.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:17

Or no, no, uh, no, it's formula. Oh, it's foreign.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:19

Yeah, it's formula. Oh no, yeah. I wear it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:21

But maybe maybe Bo just goes through that much formula. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:24

It could in a day, I mean. It's it is shocking how much they eat. They yeah, they eat. Like Danielle was gone for a day, and then like she like came back with how much she pumped, and it was just like that's an insane amount. Like, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:38

Our freezer is full of it right now. So we just do a formula bottle, like we just do one at night, which is so much nicer instead of doing like throughout the day at 50 50. That's what we were. And it's she's just we're just loading up on breast milk, and I think that's it's awesome for like when he has to go somewhere. Yes. Now he's now he's got that, and it's just a it's just a good Reserve too.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:00

So I know we have a bunch of breast milk in the freezer, but it's all contam it's all contaminated because Allie went dairy free.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:08

Yeah, did you get to have a oh so now they make a difference?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:11

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:11

Oh that's it.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:12

That's what sucks. We like we so what are you gonna do with the other we were praying? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:17

You selling or you can appear.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:18

Like at some at some point, at some point, like he will.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:21

I mean any listeners uh comment and got free breast milk.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:25

I know I know one use code word free breast milk. Like they uh at some point like they just they're reflux, they kind of grow out of it. I know one listener who I was gonna shout him out, but uh he knows it was I won't I won't do that to him and the camera just shut off. Um we'll keep going.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:44

Got a bitcoin.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:46

Um no, but yeah, it it uh it's kind of sad because it is a lot of breast milk, but we're just like all right and but Allie's. I mean, we I mean I've the Tatum's probably had three bottles in his life of formula. The man's just a booby guy. Yeah, just straight booby.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:07

Oh, three bottles just bottles and wow. See, that's it. That's what all babies are different. Lucas, he never I think because we gave him a or the nurse gave him a bottle right away. He never he just He's like this is I like this He loves a bottle.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:24

This works. This works, it's whatever works. I mean it's so now nighttime feeds. I uh you know you're you're you're kinda I know I'm just like oh shoot. I think that's where I'm at. Like I tell him the cucumbers on my eyes.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:38

Honey, he's crying. I think he's hungry. That's I I feel bad, but like that is like because Danielle wants to breastfeed him like majority of the time. So it's like it's like, all right, well, see what I guess I can't tell you. What am I gonna do?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:55

It's Tram and he's hungry. I mean, remember you said you wanted to breastfeed him, you know. Back to the fields.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:02

I know, man. I know. Like, all I do is just go and grab like the most value I give is like do you guys have like a haka? You know what the haka is?

SPEAKER_05 1:08:12

Isn't that like the New Zealand dance they do for the haka movie?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:17

All it is is just like a suction cup that she just throws on the other one while he's feeding on on the one, and it just like catches the reserve. So also go get the haka. Okay, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. So why can't she just get it? Yeah, but that's a good point, Connor. It's the principle. It's the principle. I've already been scolded on this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:43

Like, uh, you know, you're well, you're up, you know. You're up, you might know. Oh my gosh, no. Grab me a beard.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:49

Okay. We might cut that one.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:51

All right, we got anything else.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:53

I mean, what so moving forward? I mean, what what do we what's our plan? Are we are we are we signing ourselves up for I I think we should try and hit once? Bi-weekly, once a month.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:02

I think I think once a month. I was gonna say once every two weeks or yeah, once three weeks, maybe something like that. Yeah, get some dad topics until until um until football season until football season, yeah. Yeah, I'll go with that. Yeah, once, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:14

I like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:15

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:15

I like how we do our planning on the oh yeah, we're this is they love to hear the the live planning.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:22

This the sausage making of it all. Yeah, I mean, it feels it feels good to be back. Apologies to you know the start of this this one. I I mean I'll I was rusty.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:32

We need to say that like every episode. So I there used to be.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:39

I hope you guys enjoy our first three months of uh dadhood. Yes, yeah, just like we have. I wonder what I wonder if it's more interesting to listen to this as a dad, then like these guys are like clueless. Because they feel like we just talked about like we know what we're doing, you know, and then like you know, that's the other thing is now they're gonna stalk. We're gonna get hit with like uh all these challenges at a year and six months. Oh, wait till wait till uh I don't know. You just wait, yeah. That is a crumache, and I am tired of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:06

That's a crumache. I am yeah, it's like, oh just wait until you're on hand until they're teenagers.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:11

It's like I got a long way until that one. I know, man. Wait till they're walking, just take advantage of it. No, they're not moving.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:19

But those same people who were saying that were saying like just wait until they're born. Yes, yes, it's it's always waiting. The goalpost is always moving.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:27

I mean, exactly, exactly. Whatever. No, but yeah, I mean, all right. Well, all right, nothing else. Feels good to be back.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:37

Yeah, boy thanks for listening, whoever's out there.

unknown 1:10:42

That's one way.