From Trauma to Overflow: Sandra’s Story

From Trauma to Overflow: Sandra’s Story is a powerful conversation about healing, faith, and stepping into purpose after deep pain. Sandra shares her journey of overcoming adversity, walking through trauma, and allowing God to restore the places that once felt broken.

In this episode, we talk about healing your inner child, filling your own cup so you’re not pouring from empty, and the biblical truths that help us move from survival mode into overflow. Sandra also shares about her ministry work and the Daughters Come to the Table events she is bringing around the country to help women gather, heal, and encounter God in a deeper way.

A special thank you to the Best Home Ever Team for sponsoring Spark. To learn more or get involved, text or call Maria at (561) 779-9452.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the show. Today I'm joined by a special guest, Sandra Machado. Sandra, welcome. Hi Maria. Thanks for having me on this podcast today. We're happy to have you here. Now, Sandra and I met about five years ago at a marriage retreat in Colorado Springs at the Glen Erie Castle. Can you tell us a little bit about what brought you to that retreat and a little bit about what you were hoping to get out of it?

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Yeah, well, that retreat was mainly focused for couples and uh you know, just a retreat, so we will get away from our busy lives and just regroup with our husband and have time of learning uh from great speakers and um yeah, just time time as a couple, and that that's how we met.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Yeah. So Sandra and her husband Keith were the couple sitting next to us, yes, and one of the exercises was to pray over the couple right next to you. So they were actually the couple that prayed over Josh and I. And um, fast forward a little bit, Sandra went through a very difficult event. And can you tell us a little about that and what happened with you and Keith?

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Uh yeah, so you know, um, so we're from Minnesota, so we got back to Minnesota in 2022. My husband passed away on a sudden death, and uh which was very traumatic. And um that day um I was on a phone call with him, and I was actually in Florida visiting a friend. It was only a stay for four days, and I actually um wanted to convince him to come with me, and he's like, No, it's hot here in Minnesota, it's hot there. Let's let's just uh uh you go, you go, and then when you come back we'll do something else together. And I'm like, okay. But um I was just two days in on my trip, and uh on that Saturday in particular, I uh I went to with my friend to a uh she wanted to show me this new beach, and I'm like, okay, oh I know my husband would love to see it as well. So I put him on a FaceTime conversation with me. We were talking for for 45 minutes or so, and and after that, he's like, Okay, you know what, uh Sandra, let me get back to you because my brother is calling me through. And um, so he talked to his brother, and um the next thing I know he died on the phone with his brother while he was speaking to his brother. Wow, did his brother call you to tell you that? After I found out all of this, that he was that he he was on the phone with his brother, and his brother told me the story that he heard his uh he heard um they were having fun and talk, and then all of a sudden he heard my husband go like a sound like like losing a his breath. That's just and then obviously, you know, he didn't hear him from him anymore. He was kind of kept calling his name, then I guess he called the the police, called the ambulance, called, you know.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Um I I remember that day. Uh uh you called me when I was actually on vacation as well to Panama City Beach, and the words you said and the tears you were crying through just broke my heart. And both Josh and I have started to cry hearing about Keith's passing. And um, oh I'm so sorry you went through that.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Yeah, and then I mean I call a few people, I'm even even myself when I found out, so then I'm calling my husband because I'm like he's gonna call me back, and why he's not calling me back. And normally when he gets my phone calls, he would usually call me back right away. And I'm having a friend sending me a message, like, oh, you know, um, call us back. And I'm thinking, wait a minute, what's going on here? Why is why is my husband not calling me? So I tried calling, calling, calling. Then I felt like a something in inside of me saying, Something is not right here. And I told my girlfriend, I said, Hey, let's get out of the beach and let's go to work, like a restaurant or something. I need to be on the phone, I need to what's going on here. And um that's when I was already having a phone call from the police calling me and actually telling me, I'm sorry, but your husband didn't make it. I'm like, wait a minute, what husband? Who didn't make it? Because I just had a conversation with him.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

How this whole thing it just oh my goodness, it just brings it such perspective that things can change in the blink of an eye. Our whole lives can change in the blink of an eye. You were just talking to your husband, and then the next thing you know, you're talking to the police saying your husband didn't make it.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Yes, yes, and then after that, uh everyone one after the other, you know, and I'm like uh I had my friend with me, she used to be a nurse, and she took the phone out of my hand because I'm panic at this moment. I'm thinking, how can this be real? And at that moment of the shock, believe it or not, I had my period flushing on the ground. Like you were already on your period, or I was not. Oh man, I was not, and it's just because of what I heard, that trauma was just like it was like, whoa, it vent out, vent out by whoa. Well, I wouldn't call it a period.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

That's what I say an agony. Um, just like Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane and he was sweating drops of blood because of the anxious.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

I mean, all the things once.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

So if you're shed if you're telling me you're shedding blood, yeah, whoa.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

And guess what? You are right because you never thought about that. That was one time blood that came. That didn't came. And then I haven't and then after that specific moment, I my period stop all more than almost a year. Whoa, yes, whoa, I didn't know that. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And uh, I mean, I'm talking like because now we are opening this conversation and it's just making me realizing, well, yeah, even I was so mad. I was like mad. I'm like, wait a minute, why is my period stop? Why is this was one-time thing like this huge trauma? And why do I have to? My body was in in trauma, right? So I mean, trying to figure it out this calling my son, my son, like what? What what? And telling calling my pastor, telling my friends to rush to my home, go pray for my husband. Listen to this part, girl, because of my belief, because of my faith. I said, please nobody touch that body. I wanna. I was thinking, I want to bring my husband back to life. Right. I remember you saying that. Yeah, and I did. I I I don't know how in this whole world that I had this uh strength to pack a little back, get in the plane. My friend go went with me, came down with me. Also at the same time, met my husband, my son was at that same airport, traveling from Montreal to come. I mean, all that agony, all that that hurts, crying, don't know what to do. And I told my girlfriends, my spiritual girlfriend, I said, please go to the home, get pray, pray, pray, pray. I was still hoping to get home to a husband that was dead for over nine hours and bring him back to life. Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

And when you did go home and you did pray for him, and you did declare him, you know, back alive, you said you said that a peace came over you.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Okay, let me bring you back to that moment. So I'm there, pastor. I'm coming. I'm arriving almost like 11 o'clock or so at night. I have a few people there, friends that were praying. The pastor is there, they don't know what my reaction is is gonna be. So I'm kind of like just walking in the house, like doing like almost like Jesus just did to some of the people that were dead. Lazar, for example, Lazar, come out. So I'm saying, I have the faith of Jesus, and that's my husband. I saw him, his beautiful face. He had a sheet, a white sheet over his face. I I pulled that sheet, and I had that strand come over me, and I just put my mouth with his mouth. I pray over him. My son really didn't understand what's going on here, and people were watching me, and I still like Keith, come back in Jesus' name, come back, and I will pray over his heart and everything. And then I I just sense the peace that came over me and over the room and say, Is let it be, is with me. Wow, and the Bible actually says absence of the body is to be in the presence of the Lord. So that verse even came strong into my heart. Wow. Like absence of the body is to be in the presence of the Lord. So you know, I mean, I cannot tell you this was like trauma after trauma. But you were married with him for four years, right? No, I I was married with him since 2016. 2016, yeah. So he passed away in 2022. Okay, so seven years. Yeah, seven years. Wow. And to say, you know what, thank God for the seven years. Yes, we had our ups and dunks. Yes, you know, everyone does, especially you get, you know, in marriage and working out things. I felt like things were starting to get bad for us, and this this came.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Did you did you have any signs that he was going to pass, or did he say anything that made it hint at that could have happened?

SPEAKER_01 9:46

You know, it's strange that a few things took place. For example, he was he took me to the airport and um that day he was crying like a child, and I'm like, why are you crying? And I'm just you say you don't want to go, and I'm just going for four days because I don't like to say goodbyes. I'm like, goodbyes, but I'm I'm gonna be back. I never never thought of any other thing, just that's how he expressed himself, he expressed himself that day. And when I graduated a few months before, and um we both graduated from Paris Bible College, he f he did his first year, and I did my second year, and we were in that same room, and the that same day before I went with my graduation, he did a song for me. And the song was all about a butterfly. You are a butterfly, my wife. You're gonna fly and do so many things. You're gonna do so many things for the Lord. And I I kept crying, and I'm thinking, wow, what a beautiful song. Not not and I mean that same song was was we we he you know, I put it on when you know when we we did a funeral, but and one also he said one time, one thing about uh a few months, he said, if anything ever happened to me, I'm gonna ask you two things. Either you bring me back to life, or either you're gonna preach on my and my on my on my uh when I when I die. I'm like I'm gonna preach. Because what he was saying also is like at school, we had to practice like a mock, um, you know, like um people when pass away, you know. And I was sure you had to practice you you eulogies, yes, and I and I I I was taking ministry classes, and one time I said, Kids, uh can I practice just like my sermon? He goes, You know what, Sandra? When you do a sermon for somebody who's a believer, put a little bit more action behind him, smile because we're going to be in glory, not like Wow. I'm like, and guess what? I did I did I did both things. I came to the house, I I prayed over him, that didn't happen. And guess the next thing I know, I'm I'm actually doing a sermon in his funeral. I mean Wow, what did you preach about? Actually, I preach about the main thing was about salvation because I I I actually said you all of you know that Keith laughed in a certain moment, in a certain way, and it was unexpected, unexpected for me, unexpected for you, unexpected for all of us. But there is one that's gonna come very unexpected, and one thing you require of us, be ready. What did Jesus say? Be ready in season and out of season, be ready, because he's see his coming is very near, or be ready if your name is signed, it's written in the book of life. Certain things happen. I never saw this coming. I'm thinking, you know, I wait so long to get married, I finally found somebody I love, and then you know, I wait, I sacrifice 19 years being single, and then I I married and seven years and is in heaven, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Right. So talking about being ready in season, out of season, and Jesus said even with the fig tree, he said this fig tree does not have fruit, and it wasn't the season of having fruit, and he's still expected, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Meaning, in the meantime, God is giving us everything we need, everything we need. He says, as Jesus is, we are in this earth, and and and that one thing that is very one thing we can do that is so important in the kingdom of God. Everything is important, but he says, Go and make disciples. Go and make disciples, you know, go and share the word, go and share the good news. He was the good news, he wants us to share his love with everyone we come in touch with.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Amen. And you have been doing that since Keith's passing passing. Tell us what's happened since he's passed.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Well, you know, like I said, like I mentioned, there is the there was the trauma, there was the pain, but I don't want to the pain to just be a life sentence. It's not a life sentence, it's something that I'm learning to to grow, to grieve, to to share my pain, to not be afraid to say, you know, this happened to me. This is how I'm learning, this is how I'm coping, this is what I'm grieving. And guess what? I just start doing a ministry called Daughters Come to the Table. I felt like that invitation of the father, bringing daughters together. And and why do I want to do this? And it's based on Psalm 23, verse 5, that says a good shepherd prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies. And you know, the presence of our enemies is not always the devil itself, it's the enemies that it's controlling us that's kept us bound, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Let's talk about some of those enemies. What enemies did you find that were trying to bind you and that you've overcome?

SPEAKER_01 14:52

Well, I mean, I couldn't be like mad at God and say, Well, you know, how come God? How come this happened to me? How come, you know, you'll give me only seven years? But that's not God's fault. We're living in a falling world. There's so many factors coming from right, left. Definitely never the fault of God's. So, you know, I learned that no, Father, God is a good father. Jesus paid the price for us to have abundant life. The enemies can be oppositions like offense, things that I can be offended towards my brother, towards my sister, and just let that faster inside of me. That's an enemy that I keep bringing back to the table. Thoughts that I haven't dealt with, you know, things that it's in the mind. The body is there in present, but the mind is captured.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

And let's talk about that. Where what things did you have to overcome?

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Oh my goodness, one of the things I had to overcome is loneliness. I I felt lonely, alone. I felt moments where I will I was walking in my house and the first months at three in the morning, I were up. At three in the morning, four in the morning, I had a hard time sleeping. I would pray, I will fast, I will say, you know, why is this thing don't go? But no, it's not because I didn't pray enough. It's not because I didn't fast enough. There is a moment and a time and a season where grief is just is something you you can ignore it. You have to, you can ignore it. It's like a wave. One day that wave comes and boom, it catches by surprise. Another day I will find myself super happy with a smile on my face. But that it's like just don't run from it, just with the Lord. God has helped me so much that He says, I will never leave you alone, I will never leave you, forsake you. It's not only enough to know the words, but to have that father, that son, that Holy Spirit with you and helping you through.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

And speaking of father, both of us have overcome a lot of father damage from our earthly fathers. Tell us a little bit about your upbringing and your father.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Well my goodness, that's another trauma on itself. And I believe some of our roots that are walking with us, because not even, I mean, lately I find that the inside of me, even in the body of a 50 years old, there was a 10 years old that was wounded by a father. You know, it came a time where you know this girl was given an assignment, she didn't know what to do with it. She she taught she knew how to get to that assignment that was required from her father. She kind of disappointed him and and she stayed numb in that place of I'm afraid to just disappoint people, I'm afraid to disappoint my dad. So it's then it's my fault. So that came and just entangled so much in my life in the traumas that I've gone through and brought me back to that child within that was not healed.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

And it's a process, and it's interesting that even if our you know fathers have passed away or they can still be holding us bondage in the stories that we tell ourselves that we're not good enough, that you know, like for me with losing my mom, like my story from that experience was that maybe I would grow up to do the same thing, fall in depression, take my life. But it's when we separate the story from what happened, yes, all that happened was she was dealing with what she dealt with, she ended her life, and that's it. I can do whatever I want with my life.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Exactly, Maria, and the same thing with me. Just because I lost my husband, I lost so many people in this during my life growing, and my dad and mom, and you know, different things that I've lost in the process, material stuff. I come to understand that I still can continue to write my story with the one that knows my story best. That's my heavenly father. But I can tell you also, there were moments that I was so mad at God uh way back because I'm thinking if my father is representing God in this earth, well, what is God going to do to me? Is he gonna punish me also? Because I'm not that you know that good Christian, or I'm not doing something always, you know, good enough. So that came to my mind and my heart a lot of times, and I had a struggle with that, but I had to overcome. How did you overcome that? I overcame that when I overcame that by simply like little by little just kind of open my heart, and and and and and when I felt like I like I was alone, and I will pray and say, I will not just pray like repeatedly prayers, I will actually just talk to God and say, you know, I'm bad at this. I'm I this is hurting me, you know, even now you can you hear it in the sound of my voice. But that's true. I would I will I will I will make it happen to to show to God I'm mad, I miss my dad. I wish he could have known how much I love him. Yeah, I disappoint him, uh you know, I disappoint you, maybe God, but you know, I I I I used to be like saying those kind of things in a in a hard way or harsh way, and then I will feel like a peace will come over me, and I'm thinking, is that even possible? I'm not a God and it's bringing peace over me. But that brings the words of Jesus, he said, give me your burdens, wow, give me your heavy burdens. And the reason why Jesus said that because he's he knows that alone we cannot you cannot face those things alone. So true. Jesus himself, when he knew that he was ready to go and pay that sacrifice for all of us to have freedom, he for one split moment he said, Father, if it's if it's can if it was to you take this this from me, yeah. He understands our pain, right? And in fact, he says, Give me your burdens. And what did he say? I'll give you peace.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

And he said, My burden is light, and my yoke is easy, but we we complicate it, and uh for those voices who don't know, Sandra is actually one of ten children. Yes, I am, and and talk about middle child syndrome. Oh Sandra's the fifth child out of ten children.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Well, let's let's ten children, but mom and dad had 15 kids. Oh, yes, I don't know what I said on that number, but anyways, so five of them died, different things, complications, and never really understood that because there were things that parents don't talk about it, you know. And my mom had 10 kids, and then Was a middle child. I felt like striving for that acceptance as well. I recall it so many times. Like my mother and father used to go to the farm on Saturdays, and I'm from Portugal, from the island of Azores. And um, I remember every Saturday, mom and dad will go to the you know, like a fruit the market and pick up this and that and vegetables. And I'm thinking as a young child, if I want to make my way to the door with them, I gotta be up at four in the morning. I had one eye closed, one eye open, and that was very young age. I was already like trying my way to be out there, be visible. And they entrusted you with much responsibility, they did, and because they trust me, my dad trusted me with responsibilities and assignments, and the enemy twist that whole thing. I mean, that's one of the things that I was bonded for so many years, and uh I'm not shy to say it's like almost 40 years bonded by that lie that I accepted that I disappointed my dad. So I'm that means I'm gonna disappoint everybody else, and it's my fault.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

But and it has kept you small because God, I mean, you can just tell, you have a fiery spirit, you're ready to take on the world for God, but it truly has kept you bound.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

It kept me bound, it kept me always giving, giving, giving because I I felt like giving. I was like in the group, I was accepted, but I was just exhausting myself.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Let's talk about that drawing from an empty cup.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

Wow, yes, empty, empty, and sometimes we don't even see it until somebody cuts you in the what do you call it? I don't know how to express that, but until somebody kind of tells you, points it out to you, point it out. Because I mean, even you, you told me, you know, like Sandra, you can't give it for I mean you exhaust, you cannot give it from an empty cup. And I I understood when actually I was still and God had me in a moment of stillness. I'm like, I gotta do something. I feel like I was nothing if I was not doing anything. But how much can I be, you know, productive from giving from an empty cup? And and I was doing all the Christian good stuff, and I'm not putting any Christianity down, but I'm saying I was still just giving from an empty cup. That was not the life of abundance, as Jesus said, right, and I was always trying to figure it out, Jesus, what does this John 1010 mean? You came to give us love and an abundance. I'm not living in a life of abundance, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Right. So when I messaged you, yes, to pack your bags and come to Florida, tell me about where you were mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Well, I just had come from Colorado Springs. I had finished a program of a third year of ministry school. I mean, I think like in the spiritual world, I know so much about the word of God, but there were other things that were not connecting with this abundance that we're talking about. So, you know, I was at a friend's house living there for the time being until I will get like strong enough and go on my own and start something, you know. But I always felt like you know, struggling, struggling, losing things and the process and the trauma with my husband dying and trying to figure out life now. Who am I now? I'm a single woman now, I'm a widow. Where do I fit? Where do I go from here? So I was struggling with that, but uh I brought everything back in prayer to God. I fast, I pray. I say, Lord, listen, God, uh, where do I go? Where do I go? And I had some kind of open doors to go to Portugal. I was there doing some ministry, that went super well, was very accepted, and that door is still open, but I came back and tried to close some things in the process of doing that. You called me and said, Hey, what are you up to? And I'm like, Well, I'm just praying and seeing what the direction I'm going from here, and um, and I technically only had like two suitcases with me, and I even put God to a test. I said, Lord, if this car that I have, which was really nothing much of a value, but anyways, you know, when you try to hold to something and you're like this is the last thing I have, you hold it so tight that you're so scared to lose it. And I put God to a test and say, God, if this sells out, sells, I mean, I'll give you it till tomorrow. And you know, I'll go because you had sent me an invitation to say, Come down and try it out, you know. Come and and I'm like, and then I put God to a test, and uh, guess what? The the car sold the next day, and I came down on disadventure and uh sh on Passover.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Passover. Passover. Yeah, Passover at 3 p.m. Pick you up from the airport. Uh-huh. Your first uh ministry experience down here happened at 6 p.m. when Passover party started with 50 people. Yeah, and we went through the whole Passover Seder and how Jesus would have celebrated and how we really should be celebrating, you know, to remember his sacrifice and how he's fulfilling that feast. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

I'm gonna talk about that because while I was in the air and it playing, so I get my stuff, I pack my things, and I'm thinking, oh my goodness, Lord, I don't know. I'm just gonna test the waters, I'm just gonna go in fate. But mind you, a few days before I had this dream, and I saw this big ship in the red colors, like a um dark red, and the ship was so big, and I'm I'm seeing myself inside of this ship, and I'm holding to like to the rail, you know, I'm holding so tight, and I'm like looking down, and I see like the deep waters, and I'm like, oh my god, this is so deep, and I'm scared, and I feel like I'm so scared. And I saw the hand of God, like big hand of God, like facing me, like like in my face, and what came right next was Isaiah 41, 10, which is like the verse God is giving me since I became a believer. Fear not, for I'm a Jew, be not dismayed, for I'm you God. I will uphold you with my righteous hand. So technically, God was on my ship, God was on my story, God was on the edge where I felt like I was in the edge. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, what I'm scared, and guess what? This adventure to Florida has been in the edge. I mean, so many things have happened since then. Wow, and in the plane, the Holy Spirit reminded me, do you know which day is today? And I said, Passover, what it means, Passover, passing over, passing over. I was passing over, passing over from the old to the new to the edge, that ship. I don't know where it's taking me, and believe me, I still don't know, but because with God, it's an adventure. If you say yes to God, Isaiah 119 says, if you obedience and willing, you will eat the best of the land. It just might be that the willingness and obedience is just open to different doors for me for that abundance that I never thought. What is this abundance, God? Wow. So I'm telling you, I mean, this dream came like a few times, and I and you know, like when you wake up of a dream and you feel like oh my gosh, an anxiety attack? Well, yeah, I'm in this big thing and I'm looking down. I'm like, I'm gonna fall. And like, no, you're not, I'm holding you.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

I feel like I would have remembered if you told me that dream.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

You didn't tell me that dream. I didn't tell you that dream, but do you remember when we went to that friend's house and we sh and he had that same vision?

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that you didn't like say the dream. No, well, that's kind of like a big deal that you think I would have known that by now.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Well, you know, they they are things that they're that's why you should always do a podcast with your friends.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

They're gonna tell you a lot of stuff they didn't tell you before.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

And I I just thought that this you know, bringing that on, it's it's it's really part of this adventure, you know. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

That's so amazing. No, I'm I'm so touched by that.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

And then your baby being in ICU and me visiting and feeling like this oh my goodness, so many things.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

I mean, you truly had an Abrahamic experience with God calling Abraham out of his comfort, out of his homeland, yeah, out of his security, out of what he knew, into this new land flowing with milk and honey. And I truly do call where we live Promised Land. Like I've I say that, you know. Be humble. Yeah, and you just packed your bags and you sold your car. You you packed the two little suitcases full of black clothes. Yeah, talk about that one. Talk about that one. No, no, you don't talk about that. All right, so in Minnesota, most of these uh, you know, people wear black. And Sandra comes to Florida with just black clothing, and after we had Passover and a couple um evenings, then now is Resurrection Sunday. So we're putting on our Sunday best to go to church, and she comes downstairs wearing black and white type of thing. All black. Yeah, black and white. Yeah, and I'm looking at her, I'm like, are we going to a funeral? I'm sorry, Good Friday came and gone, and we're not doing that. And then I I God just told me, like, go to your closet, I got something for her. So I went to my closet, and there's this beautiful white dress, and it still had the tags on it, and the funny thing is it didn't even fit me. And I'm wondering why do I still have this outfit? It's not gonna fit me, it doesn't fit me, and it's it's just it's not for me. Yeah, and um, he's like, That's the one. So I pick it up, I give it to her, and I could just hear the Holy Spirit saying, I'm taking your garments of widowhood and exchanging it for garments of praise. Yeah, and so I hand it to her, she puts it on, she comes out, and woo! She was a showstopper.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Yeah, I had so many compliments the day we went to church, and like people are like, Wow, you look so beautiful! Wow, you look so beautiful, and it was like God Himself saying, This is what I want you to wear. This is what you are, you know, this is what I want for you, and the garments of praise, it's it's explains in Isaiah 61 7. And I know the verses, you see, but the thing is, I had to, those verses had to come alive for me. Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

High knowledge versus like come alive because heart knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

And the thing is, Maria, I have been one that I've been given a lot. And now the fact that you came and you said, listen, no, no, no, you're not going to church like this, and and you gave me a dress with a tag, it was just like God said, Here, contribution back to you, my daughter. You know, it's like when you ever heard, like you're saying, you know, you sow seeds, but eventually they're coming back to you. But you know, that day felt like let's talk about the seeds.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

You know, Jesus talks about sowing seeds on stony ground, oh yeah, um, dead ground, um, and then good ground. Yeah, and seeds produce a fruit in abundance. And um, you know, I had talked to Josh a few times about you know having someone help out around the house and you know, just help us with all the kids we have, and it'd be it'd just be helpful to have extra hands, you know? Yeah and then um the Bible also is very clear about helping the widow and the orphan, yeah, and then that's true, that's true religion. Like we can say that we love God, but if we're not doing something to help the widow and the orphan in some way, shape, or form, whether through money or encouragement or whatnot, then what is our what is our faith, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Yeah, correct, correct. In fact, a lot of widows, because I mean, now that I am one, I have the heart for widows, and I mean, seriously, later uh one of the the the the venges that I have is to open a retreat center for widows, and I know the pain that they go through. I mean that I mean you are kind enough to say, hey, um let me give you this dress, take this clothes out, but not everyone has this compassion and a heart for that. Right. Some people that they they don't even know what to say, so they walk away. I had a lot of people that walk away from me. So if I was feeling alone because of the loss of my husband, I was feeling even way more alone. Because now where do I fit? Okay, because I used to be invited in my husband and I for parties and this and that. Now where is this invitation? Where is this thing? So what happened to everybody?

SPEAKER_00 34:46

And I truly believe like there is an opportunity in you know, in the believers, you know, for because there's so many believers who are overwhelmed, young mothers who can't do it all, you know. I mean, we run two businesses, we have three children, we got a household, we have like this ministry stuff, we have a lot going on, and I truly think that you know a widow is missing a family and a place of belonging and a sense of contributing and needs support, you know, in different ways. I I think it's such a like a peanut butter jelly sandwich where it's like a mutual win-win-win-win-win.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

Yes, definitely. And I believe like even in the season where I'm here right now, I mean, I mean, uh my I'm always seeing the this like let it be the perfect will of God for our lives. And really, my entire life I'm committed to the Lord. And I noticed that in this season, wherever Maria was just saying, you know, like we contribute. I mean, having a baby in ICU, that was heavy enough.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Yeah, the NICU with my appendix exploding at 29 weeks pregnant and going to the NICU for 70 days in a row. Like that's a lot, you know, and it's very helpful to have you, you know, a trusted, wonderful prayer warrior who I know I can trust with my children.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Yes, definitely. And the fact that, you know, other contributions came along, you know, like you know, like I I don't I I mean, uh my whole body has changed. I mean, I had a hard time even getting my body in shape. And one of the things we did together was exercising like five o'clock in the morning out of the dark.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

Yeah. Tell tell everybody what we've done, like tell them about our adventures. The last 50 so days.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

Okay. Well, the last 50 so days was so divine by God because if I haven't done something with my body, I think I will just like shut down. And I was into a place where I felt like almost like I don't know, depressed in so many ways. Because I'm dealing with different things, and there's so much you can do. It's either you go into survival mode for this, and you are neglecting this. So I was neglecting my body. I just flow with the flow. Yeah, because you have you have diabetes. I have diabetes type two, you know, taking some medication, some of that medication makes my mouth dry and this and that, and I just felt like, oh, this is even hurting my body a little bit more than I, you know, need. But another thing was also like eating better, exercise. You know, I wanted to exercise, but I will feel like I don't have the energy today. I don't have the energy today. And you know, it's so good also when you have people in the same mind. You know, when you move from some circles and you go to another circles, because that too you can be bound for a long time if you are in a wrong circle. And that's why I love to do daughters come to the table, because your table matters, who sits at your table matters. Because there's some people that don't, you know, they just don't have that encouragement to give you.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Right. So, yeah, uh three or four months prior to you coming to live with us, we I did invite you to do a daughters come to the table at our house. Yeah, and we had 10 to 12 ladies or so come and tell them about what you did and how you facilitated the daughters come to the table event at our house.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Well, I mean, we still even have testimonies to to talk about this because in fact, when I came down, you know, my heart was to um, hey, let's do a table for women, you know, women where Florida, Portugal, everywhere. There's women everywhere. And the the the the main point of doing those tables is for women just to come and to fellowship. And actually, I did an exercise that day. I talk about Esther, how Esther dealt with the the enemy of her in that table. She could have asked the king for anything, she could have asked the king, give me a diamond. When he asked Esther, ask me anything, I'll give you. I'll give you the kingdom. What did she ask him? I want to prepare a table. But what happened at that table? She had to deal with the enemy of her soul, with the enemy of the Jewish people. That enemy wanted to destroy them. So, and this table where we managed to have it in your house. I had an exercise where I told the ladies, if something you're having in your heart, write it down in this piece of paper. And we're going to pray about those things. And we did. And actually, there was a testimony that came out of that.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Lena, many, many, yeah. One one of our beautiful friends, she was having a very big panic attack. Back pains, anxiety. And then you prayed over her, and uh, we all prayed over her, and you led the prayer, and after the prayer, her back pain was gone.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

Her back pain was gone, but that back pain was uh in tune with rejection, you know, because she was feeling rejected for so many years. That's the thing, our body suffers for unresolved things.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Yes, so true, so true.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

And that wasn't a true example where until today she thanks us about having that goddess come to the table. Oh, it's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

So beautiful, so yeah, so many testimonies. There's so many testimonies, and um there's so many testimonies. And ever since you came, that's when we started really praying over people and realizing that the purpose of coming together is the laying of the hands and the healing of people. At um at one of the parties, we we laid hands on a good friend who was also dealing with really bad pac back aches. Yes. We anointed him and blew the shofar, put the tallit on him. We all prayed, we all declared, and um, he stood up and his back was healed. Yes, that's right. And uh so let's talk about that. Let's talk about the difference of praying for healing versus declaring. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

I mean, Jesus mentioned we prayed the the the Father, uh, you know, the Father's prayer. You know, he taught us to pray, but he taught us to declare. When he said to many of the people who were sick, one thing he asked them, do you want to be well? Makes a big difference.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

It's funny because um makes a big difference. You would think that everybody wants well. Wouldn't everybody want to be healed? Exactly. Now, is that the case? No, it's not. We actually had a testimony that was not the case. So, one of our adventures um was when Sandra and I woke up at 5 a.m. We drove all the way to Orlando, we had a beautiful day at Volcano Bay, and then for dinner we went to Disney Springs. Yeah, and while we were in line for the hot air balloon, we got talking with this young man who had um what did he have? He had um yeah what's the term? Oh no, we're tip of our tongue. Anyway, um so autism. Autism, autism. He was so sweet, and um Sandra, you asked him if we could pray for him, right?

SPEAKER_01 41:42

Yeah, because that's my thing, you know. Everywhere I go, I always have this sense of like, do you need anything for prayer? Like I I always feel like I don't want to leave the place until I know somebody. Do you know Jesus? You need prayer. Right.

SPEAKER_00 41:53

So he said your name so beautifully.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

He was like Sandra. Yeah, he actually said, Yeah, I would like to you pray for me. And then when he mentioned, because I introduced myself, my name and stuff, and he said, Sandra, pray for me. And when when I heard that voice, that sound, it was like I felt almost like Jesus saying, Yeah, pray for you now, do it. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

So you prayed over him, yeah. And then the people behind us were so touched as well that they wanted prayer. Yeah, but then remember when the boys' parents walked up, especially the mother, and what did she say to us?

SPEAKER_01 42:29

Well, she came over and said, What are you guys doing? And I'm like, I mean, I'm I'm I'm not I'm praying for our son. I thought it was a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

And she said, What are you praying for? Yeah. I'm like, I'm praying for autism. And she said, Why are you praying for that? His autism is a gift of God.

SPEAKER_01 42:45

And that's when me and Maria we looked at each other, and we're like, Okay, this is time not to go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

So I saw what was happening. The ship was going down fast. We changed the subject. We wish them a good night.

SPEAKER_01 42:57

And we thank him for allowing us to be with him and pray.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

You know, you have a beautiful son.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

And right next it was this couple with the whole family want us to pray.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

Yeah, so we went over there and prayed for all ten of their family members. Yes. And then we walk away and we started laughing because if that was a gift from God, I don't want it. Return back to sender, take back your gift.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Yeah, because in fact, I think a lot of people they mix uh the, you know, like thinking that if something happens in people's life, it must be the will of God. Because God either is teaching you a lesson, why did God need to teach us a lesson? Doesn't Jesus sacrifice in the cross was just enough for all of us? Because in fact, when he went to the cross, he says it is finished. What is finished? Let me ask you a question. What is finished? Healing is finished. Your provision is in that cross. Everything you ever need to have that abundance of life was in that cross. I never I don't remember a time when one of us

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Sick or injured went up to Jesus and asked for healing and he said no.

SPEAKER_01 44:03

Well, depart from me because I don't know you.

SPEAKER_00 44:05

He never said no. He healed every single person that asked him for healing. Every single person even the woman who was a Gentile and asking for for her healing for her child, and he said, It's not good to take from the children and get to the dogs. And she said, Yes, Lord, but even the dogs have the scraps. And he's like, Women, great is your faith. And she healed and he healed them immediately.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

And in fact, even if it she was put it to a test, she passed it. She because she said, You know what? I'm not gonna be offended about what you said. Right, right, right. Because if she was offended, guess what? She will walk without nothing. That's right. Because she didn't want to, you know, offense. Also, the offense creates a lot of division. 100% between you receiving your miracle. Those things are some uh uh stones on the way of of your healing, yes. Like that mother, she said, Oh, but but God made that happen for him.

SPEAKER_00 44:56

Because, okay, but but it's a fallen world, things happen, okay? Genetics, I mean things that we eat.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

I mean, listen, I never had diabetes before, and then because I went through some lots of challenges, guess what?

SPEAKER_00 45:10

I got diabetes. Let me ask you something, Sandra. Did God cause your diabetes? No, what caused your diabetes? My bad nutrition?

SPEAKER_01 45:19

You know, like if they say don't drink coke, and now all I did is drink 10 cups of coke. Yeah, I mean, that's not helping. So, how funny?

SPEAKER_00 45:26

How funny would it be if you're praying to God for help with you know to heal your diabetes? What do you think God's gonna say to you?

SPEAKER_01 45:33

My daughter, I have given you the recipe of healing. What do you want to do about it? Yeah, and then we're not being laughing about this, we're saying that this is crucial. It's not God that says, Oh, you know, he's dead. Well, God wants him to be dead. Yeah, what kind of father is that?

SPEAKER_00 45:50

What if all you did to get rid of your diabetes was just pray, oh father, take away my diabetes? No, it will not be enough.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Faith without works is dead, it is dead, and that's one thing sometimes I realize even on growing and going to Bible school and this and that. Faith, faith, faith, grace, faith, grace. Again, it I understand, but faith without works is dead. God, you know, is giving us instructions. Okay, let me ask you this. If I don't do nothing about the diabetes, if I don't exercise, if I don't eat better, guess what? Then it's gonna shorten my life.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Exactly. And now the fault mirrors, yeah. The faith now your faith is cooperating with your actions. What are you doing now? Exactly. What are you doing now?

SPEAKER_01 46:36

Right now, in fact, I've lost over, I don't know, 14 pounds. Woo! And uh, I mean, and my energy, my my my mind, my heart is is way more free. Way more free. And I agree there is that spiritual part, but there is also that physical part that God wants us to practice every single day. Right.

SPEAKER_00 47:01

Yeah, I mean it's exercise, eating right, taking peptides, taking supplements, drinking water, getting sunshine, going to the beach, working. No more coke, no more coke.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

I don't even like the taste, it's done. And and and and and and again, what you put, what you put in your body, it would either be good or bad. It's the same thing as Jesus says, Whatever comes out of your mouth, is it life or death? Right. I mean, I I and again, I can pray until until the cows come home. Sorry, but I'm not being like sarcastic about this. But there is that part of declaring what was already finished at the cross. I have everything that Jesus died for me to have. So maybe praying from that side and say, you know, it is finished, it is done.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

Yeah, so to wrap this up, and this has been such a fantastic conversation. Yeah. And to wrap it up, is there anything else you want to let the listeners know?

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Yes, I do. In fact, look, maybe you are a widow and you're listening to this message, and maybe you are going through some hard times. Let me tell you, as myself being a widow, my heart hicks for you, but I wanted to tell you, you it's not a life sentence where you are prisoner by the grief. You know, God is with you. God is there for you. You're not alone. He will never forsake you, leave you alone. And daughters, as I minister to daughters, come to the table. I want to I want to uh make this happen for other daughters, for any part of the world. If they want, um they want to invite me and have me over, I will be more than glad to put that table for you where the good shepherd waits for you, in a table that will you will be on her, you will have new garments, you will have a reason to live and a reason to look up to your father. So thank you, Maria, for having me. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. Actually, I believe that the more we talk about our testimonies, because the Bible says it is by the word of your testimonies for the blood of the Lord and the word of your testimony, it's by explaining, it's by sharing. Testimonies bring life. People that need to hear this today, may the Lord bless you. I pray for you right now. If you are a widow, if you are a daughter, if you are a mother, whatever your situation is, I pray that God will bring freedom in every area of your life. I can feel the Holy Spirit right now ministering to your heart as this podcast takes over. Yeah, you are not alone, you know, and declare, declare over your body, declare over yourself what did Jesus die for you? What do you want? What do you need? Because the question that he asks is do you want to be well? Do you want to receive? And my daughter, my friends, widow, whatever, just believe that God is there for you and want to answer your prayers.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Thank you, Maria. Amen. Amen. And I'm so excited for our next daughters to come to the table, which will actually be in a couple weeks on a retreat at our friend's property called His House. And the whole retreat's gonna start with Daughters Come to the Table evening, and it's gonna be a time of reflection and prayer and community. So if you're interested in joining us on a retreat, please contact us. And it's been such a pleasure. May God bless you and keep you, may He shine his face upon you and be gracious to you, may He look upon you kindly and give you shalom, shalom.

SPEAKER_01 50:31

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 50:32

Good night. Good night.