Purpose Lives Where Your Skills Meet Someone’s Need

Ever feel like you’ve outgrown a role but can’t see the bridge to what’s next? We take you inside the messy, hopeful, and practical work of choosing a career that actually fits—one that pays the bills, serves real people, and leaves you proud of how you spend your time.

We start with a candid look at hitting a ceiling in an office role and pivoting into real estate, not just for commissions but to guide first-time buyers who’ve been told homeownership isn’t for them. We break down common fears around mortgages, why leases are commitments too, and how assistance and foreclosure-prevention programs can protect families. Real service means teaching the process, removing shame, and opening doors to stability and equity.

Then we shift to a different calling: esthetics. After trying hair and nails, skin care felt like home—a space to calm nervous systems, restore confidence, and offer rest. The vision expands into access: a studio plus mobile services for clients who can’t travel, from new moms to people with mobility limits. It’s a simple model with outsized impact, built on listening and meeting people where they are.

We also challenge timelines and comparison. Trades like electrical, HVAC, and framing need people now, with paid training and certifications that skip heavy debt. Reinvention at any age is real, and gratitude, faith, and honest reflection help you find center after risk and setback. Parenting adult children adds nuance: the hardest love sometimes is letting go of your plan so they can follow what truly calls them.

Walk away with clear takeaways: choose work where your skills meet someone’s need; explore trade pathways and funding; design for access, not just aesthetics; and stop measuring your pace against someone else’s highlight reel. If this conversation lights a spark, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s at a crossroads, and leave a review with the path you’re considering next.

Transcript

Hitting A Ceiling And Switching To Real Estate

Serving First-Time Buyers And Communities

Exploring Esthetics As A Calling

Mobile Care And Access For Moms

Rest, Yoga Stories, And Self-Care

Trades, Training Paths, And Resources

Comparison, Gratitude, And Rediscovery

Follow Your Own Timeline

Parenting Adults And Honoring Autonomy

Purpose, Service, And Closing Thanks

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Hello everybody, welcome back to this week's episode of Tough Love at the Cates. This week we're gonna be talking about how to decide what career path to follow. Um, so mom, how did you decide like that this is what you wanted to do, be able to go down this path? Um, for me, it was I was I reached a point where I had managed a real estate office. Um, I had done a little bit of transaction coordination and I they weren't gonna give me the company. I feel like I had already reached where like the ceiling, yeah, if you will, like within the office space. So it was the only natural progression. Like I had cut the commission checks for agents for so many years and seen the type of money and opportunity that was there. Um, so I just made the move to go get my license, to get my real estate license. Um, and in doing that, I didn't even realize what an impact um like real estate is and um uh what I'm able to do as far as like serve my community. Like there's so many people that I know um they never thought that they could own a home. Um, they just didn't have the tools and resources to understand what it was to do so. So for me, it was just it I love that not only do I get to do what I love, but I also get to serve a very underserved community to be able to give them the tools, knowledge, and resources to be able to reach a goal that so many think is unattainable or isn't the right goal. Or I don't know, I don't know if I said that right, but basically, like there's so many people that they don't buy a house because they're they're afraid. They're afraid of the commitment of the mortgage, not realizing that a lease is just as big of a commit commitment. Um, they're afraid that, you know, if something happens to them, they can't pay the mortgage when there's so many federally funded programs where if you can't make your payment, then there's programs there to assist you. Like foreclosure is literally the last option a bank goes through, and there's so many steps in between that you could help avoid a foreclosure, you're able to cash out on your equity. Um, so just stuff like that. I know you've been thinking of what to do next. Um, so what are what are your thoughts? What do you think you're going to dive into? Well, personally, I think I'm still aiming towards being an aesthetician. I feel like when I was in cosmetology and I was going through all those other programs, like through the one, it was just I hated hair. I hated hair. It was not my thing. I was getting irritated with something every day with that course. And then even with nails, I actually kind of liked that too. But I feel like that wasn't my calling. The only time that I was like, oh, okay, like I could actually see myself doing this, like where it's not only beneficial for me, but I'm also helping somebody else like get their own piece throughout the process. Um, was like the facial course and the esthetician. And you know me, like I love picking at pimples and blackheads and stuff like that. Obviously, like I get it from her. Only when I want her to. Yeah. But yeah, I was just like, I I could see myself doing this for sure, like long-term wise. And then I always told you, like, it'll be cool if I had my own little like mobile type of business too, where like, say if like moms are like too swamped at the house or something like that, they can't leave, um, go to them, like go provide the service to them over there at their like with their own safe space, their home, and be able to give them like a moment where they're able to take to themselves, like they're that are separated from being a mom and just being able to take themselves. And I will say, not too, I mean, your vision is yours, and I think that's like so many people look to the outside for people to co-sign the things that they want to do. But just as a mom, um, and you will learn this too. I completely they're not to say there is or there isn't a demand for what you envision, because again, your vision is yours, so I don't want to, but most moms like they want to take that time to get out of their house. Yeah, but that's why there's options though. Like I have my own location, though. Obviously, if they want to, but say if like they can't get out of the house for whatever reason, say like they're I don't know, like disabled in any type of way or something like that. And they can't get out the house, I could be able to provide that service to be able to go to them. Thank you. I I was envisioning something else. I and yeah, no, thank you for like providing like for the ones that aren't able to physically get out the house when they want to. It's beautiful, yeah. So that makes total sense. Everybody needs that moment to themselves. And I feel like a lot of people don't like even like how like how you are sometimes, like you don't you don't think about yourself all the time. You put all a lot of people's needs at first. Um, so like when it comes to like taking that time for yourself to like regroup, realize that you're human or whatever, and just go with it, take time to peace. I'm learning. It took me 43 years. But like stuff like that. Like that's why I'm always like, and I feel like that's so calming to me too. Like, if they want to talk, cool. But if they don't, they sit there and enjoy their massage, whatever the case is. Like, even like the scalp treatments and stuff like that. There's someone that I worked in that when I used to work at the office building, there was a girl that had her own spot had her own office space where she did the scalp treatments and stuff like that. She was telling me about like how some one lady like fell asleep for like a whole hour even after her session was done, and she let her just because she knew that she was like having a rough time or whatever. And I was like, that's cool. I did that. I fell asleep in yoga after work one time and I stayed there. I used to go to yoga for lunch when I worked at the remax, and it was isn't that one that was on the same show. Yeah, on Tennyson. And I I I stayed in vignette. I don't even know what the pose was, but I knocked out cold. It wasn't child's pose. Child's pose too. Okay, never mind. Sorry. If I fell asleep like that and somebody didn't wake me up, that's I'd go viral. That reminds me of when I fell asleep during yoga when I went to Escuela. Oh, that was funny. Can I share that story? Because oh, so she went to school and there was this young little hipster, right? And so they taught like an after-school yoga class. And I go pick Trini up and this little we'll just call her, I don't know what we'll call her, but chick. She came up to me and she's the one who taught the yoga class. And she tells me, like, that she fell asleep and that because she fell as and she fell, she had a nightmare. Yeah, well, she fell asleep and she woke up crying, and she tells me, like, you know, sometimes when kids have nightmares, it's because they have really deep-rooted issues. My daughter was maybe five, like, she hadn't even a clue what trauma was. Like, what? So my instant response to her was like, Oh, I'm sorry, like, have you ever had a nightmare? And she's like, Yeah. And I was like, Well, have you dealed with your issues? The teachers couldn't get me out of there fast enough, but I just thought what's the next. Thanks, ma'am. See you later. And you want to know what's funny is I remember that dream being about like you guys getting eaten by a shark. I remember that dream so vividly to the same, but what trauma did you the ocean? Terrified of it. Actually, that's true. I'm very terrified of the ocean, but like the beach. I love the beach, but I couldn't imagine myself being on a beach. I was gonna say she's a liar if she says she's terrified of the ocean. No, I terrified her like of like deep water where I can't see nothing underneath. Okay, that makes sense. You don't know we can't see you. That's right, yeah, that freaks me out. That that makes sense, but yes, and then being on a cruise, I'm like, this chick can't even just get her feet wet. Like since she was able to walk. It's like, oh, we're just gonna get her water. Don't get me wrong. I'm splashed water, and I'm actually craving that right now, like being in a pool. But everything's so cold. Everything's cold now. Can we go do an ice bath in the pool in the backyard? You should want to do it today. It's pretty cold. Let's do it. I don't know about we, but no, we. You we you can you can. So, anyways, what were we talking? I'm sorry, we're talking about therapaths, how to go down, like what which one to choose from. Okay. Well, I feel like there's so many one, there's a shortage in trades. If you are young, if you are hungry and you don't know what exactly to do to be able to provide for yourself or your family, I mean, there's so many programs right now where they will pay for you to get your licensing and certification, whether it's electric, electrical, HVAC, um, you know, framings, anything like that, anything in regards to trades, anything's anything for building, there is such a shortage that there are resources available. We're happy to help you find any if you want to reach out. Um, but there are so many things that you can do. Um, my thing, like honestly, I was raised, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. And I think like the more I'm learning, I've just I've been doing a lot of like soul searching and just reaching out to different outlets and you know, trying to find my way. Yeah, like even myself at 43 years old. I feel like everything was going so fast, so smooth, so everything for such a long time. And then I felt like the rug was ripped out from underneath me. And then it seems like these last few years have just been like rediscovering myself. I noticed it. It's really nice to see. Thank you. Thank you. I hope I hope it inspires you to know like when when when shit gets tough, like I feel like we're in such a society that they tell us, like, oh, you gotta figure it out, you gotta keep it, you gotta do this, you gotta do that. I feel like everybody thinks that they have to do it at a certain timeline too. Like, yeah. Like it's always like because they see everybody else doing it, they're like, oh my god, like not to say like it's like something where they're in competition, but it's also like they feel like well, I don't think it's competition. I think what we see a lot of is comparison. There we go. That's the there's so many people, especially with social media and stuff like that. There's so many people that look at what somebody posts, look at what they have, look at this, and it creates this comparison of well, we're the same age. Why don't I have the things that they have? And um, she's a mom too. I can do what she can do. Right. You know what I mean? And I feel like comparison is like it it robs you of like just happiness and joy and peace because God gave each one of us our own paths. And for me, I'm learning as I I think I are I already knew it as a younger person because I I feel like when I look back on my life, like I truly did have it all. Like I I still do, don't get me wrong, but I feel like life before I let life bring me to my fucking knees, I had the mindset that I needed to just live in gratitude. Like everything that I had, like it was beautiful, like everything was peaceful, everything and I had so much love to give that I gave it to everybody in the form of love, in the form of experiences, in the form of physical things, in the form of money, in the form every way that I knew because I was so full, it just overflowed out of me. Yeah, and then as life humbled me and changed circumstances, and I mean, I'll I changed my own circumstances. I I I'm a risk taker, I'm not scared to try something new. So, this whole relocation, this whole everything, I took all these risks, and in taking all these risks, I feel like I was reaching so outward for every single thing. Like I need to get this, I need to get that, I need to have that, I need to have that. That I lost touch with me. Yeah. So I was doing things that were out of character. I was constantly judging and feeling guilty for not being able to give, not being able to provide, not being able to show up for everybody else. And it's like I I feel like God took all that away from me so that I can get back in touch with just him and myself. And it's the most scary but beautiful experience that as soon as you get out of your own head to stop questioning why, why, why, why, why everything just unfolds like how it's supposed to. And it's like now, now that I'm becoming more in touch with myself and trying to get back on the path of being the woman that I know God made me to be, it's just like I want everybody to have it. I want everybody, like I want all my sisters, I want you, I want Alicia, like all the people that I love the most. I I want to bring them on this journey with me because I'm learning so much, and it's it's changing who I am but for the better. Yeah. And so that's kind of I don't know. I I know we totally got off subject, but no, where were we? Squirrel. No, but I feel like that's like couldn't be more true, like how you said, like the way you've you've always told me if you're happy with what you do for work, like it doesn't feel like you're working a day in your life. Yeah. And that's why I say, like, there's so many things too. Like, I remember when I was like when I dropped out of high school, I was doing the GED thing, and then they did the concurrent enrollment, which they paid for. Well, actually, no, it was you paid for, right? I paid some, but I didn't pay like if you would have gone to the city. There were opportunities there. There was opportunities there. Had I followed through with the whole thing, I mean, I obviously like didn't take full advantage of what my opportunities were like in front of me. I could admit that. But it helped me also realize like what I really true like do want to do, because even for these past years, like since cosmetology, I have been stuck on that thing for so freaking long that it's just I've been making excuses for anything not to freaking just do it. Just do it, yeah. And I want to do it, like, and it's not like especially now, like with my baby boy on the way. Like, I I'm like, it's a boy, dude. I swore it was the girl. Me too. I still refer to the baby as a girl. So if it comes out being a girl, like you heard it here first. He said bye to the baby this morning, and he's like, bye, baby girl. And he's like, Oh shit, I'm sorry. My little man. I'm like, I can't wrap my head around it. It's gonna be like neither. Too less, too little. But I feel I honestly like our conversation in the car the other day. Like I was trying to like shove life insurance down her throat um because it was an opportunity that came into my life, and I just saw it as a great opportunity for her. And that's not to say that it couldn't still be a great opportunity, but I feel like the hardest, like nobody teaches you how to raise your adult children. Like it's it's the hardest thing because you still see them as they're like this big and you want to like protect them and mold them and shape them and do all these things. Um but I felt like it was putting a strain on our relationship where it was just I had an expectation for her that she wasn't meeting, and I hated the way I felt. So it again, it comes back to like looking inside, like, what is it with me that makes me want to like tell people what they should and shouldn't do? And I I I will close it out with just kind of like I I hope you know, like from the bottom of my heart, like I understand, I'm learning, like your life is your life and it's your journey. And I mean, I think this life insurance thing could be a great opportunity, but if it's not what's tugging at your heart, just go with what is inside of you because only you know what God laid out for you. And to hear you talk about being able to service like people that are not able to get out of their house or just people that I feel like need that extra love and attention where um you can do what you love, still be able to generate an income to provide for your baby, but it's something that brings you so much love and peace. I feel like that's what everybody needs is to just find that purpose, find what fills your heart, but lets you be of service to other people, and then everything else just falls into place. Amen. Thank you guys for joining us.