031 Spring Break!

Welcome to Spring Break, Essentials! Cole & Reed hope that your Spring Break is unhinged, off the chain, and all things fun that you need pictures to remember! But seriously, be safe...ain't nobody got no time for visits to work when you're not scheduled to be there. 

Today's episode is just a free flow episode. Cole and Reed got busy talking and hit the record button for your earbud's pleasure. 

Don't forget to head over to our socials: TikTok, Facebook and Instagram. Like, follow, share, tell us how we're doing. Also let us know if we need to be on any other social media platform(s).

Make sure you like, follow and share our show. We're on every podcast platform. Leave a review and TELL-YOUR-FRIENDS-ABOUT-THIS!!!!

anywho...happy spring break...avoid the clap! Hugs, cuddles and kisses! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Winnay Welcome back. Man, if you guys are joining us for today, we hope you're ready. Alright, so welcome back to another episode. It is not a cuss and discuss. This is just a regular old Wednesday episode.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

Yeah, it's gonna be more it's just gonna be us talking. It's free flow. We're forming. We're just we're not we we don't have a concept. We're vibing. I mean we did, but we just said screw it, let's talk about something else. I so I love it.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

When we started this show, like we had ideas. Oh god. Oh, we have a full like three-year calendar.

SPEAKER_04 1:33

Yeah, like Reed has has he's like the paperwork guy, he keeps all the shit. I have like these three little sheets of paper hanging up on my wall that was our initial concept.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

No, it's it's like this is what we're doing, this is when we're doing it, and this is how we're doing it, and we're just excited that almost a year into it we figured out how to use our microphones. Oh my god. How do you guys like our microphones? Because this is show number three on our microphones.

SPEAKER_04 2:00

And we actually have been listening, and we compared it back to like not like at the beginning, because like a two-week show. Yeah, we just we compared it to even last.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Yeah, we even figured out how to use Zoom and kind of mind fuck Zoom. So we had to keep our recordings very short. But and then and then we you know, thanks to Cole, Cole was like, hey, I'm gonna figure this out and I'm gonna get on Chat GPT and AI review, and you know, Google all the things, and we figured out that uh because we didn't put batteries in our corded device and we had the wrong cord on it, that it was the cord, it was the cord that was sent.

SPEAKER_04 2:46

Yes, it was the cord that came in the box with our gadget.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

Fuck you, China.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

And literally, like we jacked with it, got in there, it still wasn't picking it up, and finally I got my headphones off of my computer, pulled the cord off of it, stuck it in there, and it detected it automatically within seconds. And I was like, Are you kidding me? That's what we have done. How many months now? Okay, August, September, October, November, December, January. We're now in March, so February, seven months.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Seven, yeah, seven months of like hearing people go, Hey, we love your show. The sound is off. The sound is awful. And we were like, All right, well, yeah, we're trying to figure it out. Like, I literally we record on one day, the next day, I spend 14 hours editing. Yes, just sitting in front of a computer and trying to make the sound crisp and clean and average and good and normal, and it doesn't like get too loud, it doesn't get too soft. And if y'all have never done this before and you're gonna complain, I'll punch you in the face and I'll let you sit with me and do it. But you know, just to figure out that it took it took literally one cord and two double-A batteries to fix it.

SPEAKER_04 4:09

Yes, I uh because we we we fixed the cord issue and then we started listening to it. It's like where's the wind coming from? Because we are literally in a room that is a tiny fucking box. Oh, it's like 10 by 10 with no ceiling fan going. There's a ceiling fan in here, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

And but there's nothing happening. We're just in a very still, very acoustically sound room. Yes, and we couldn't get it where can we put two double AA batteries in and we're like, oh look at that. The buzz is gone. That fixed it. Where'd the air go? Yeah, and so if you go all the way back, which please do go all the way back to our first episode and listen to us starting because it's so exciting. I have listened to that show before. I'm a little embarrassed. I can't well, so I am too. It's like it's it's like watching yourself learn how to walk. Yeah. And you're like, oh my god, I didn't know I was that retarded. And then you get to hear and you're like, wow, man, this is so good. And I know a year from now we'll probably reference this episode and go, We were still retarded.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

Yeah, I mean, it's a big possibility because I've even had people say you need different mics.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

I've heard that, and so we do. We have three different mics. Yes, we have three different setups, we have three different cords. We've even been to the audio visual specialist store. Yes, we have, and they have told us this is what you need, and this is how you plug it in. And we plugged it in and we're like, yeah, it's it still doesn't sound right.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

Yeah, it I mean, it was awful.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

And Reed actually went out and bought a whole nother setup and we tried it, yep, and it was still doing the same things, but and Sunny D with two E's spent like hours, hours trying to fix it, and he's like, I don't know what's wrong, something's awful. Yeah, but this one chord, one fucking chord. God bless you.

SPEAKER_04 6:06

It's like it, I'm flipping. We we actually played it back and listened to it not like a few minutes after we recorded, yeah, and it was like wow. Oh, this is what we're supposed to sound like. I was like, I I told Reed, I was like, oh god, we sound like a podcast now.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

Yeah. So I so if you're listening, wherever you're listening from, so what what did we say? 129 cities, no, no, no. 109 cities, 109 cities, eight countries, eight countries, 37 states. I didn't look at the states. 37 states. I remembered that one. I'm gonna go with that. Yeah. 37 states. So all of you people that are listening, like Spain, uh, Ecuador, Canada, California, not California, California. I'm just gonna have to laugh at that one. Brazil, Mexico. California is a country, we all know it, it's gonna fall off the face of the United States. It's gonna become its own islands, like Hawaii. Okay, guys. Okay, Hawaii, why Hawaii? Why aren't you listening? Why aren't you downloading? Like, what the fuck? It will totally come out and do a show.

SPEAKER_04 7:10

I'll 100% becoming to go stage.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

Yeah, I have got the swimsuit. I will find a swimsuit. But I am I am so excited. We we figured that part out. So, anyways, we get like we're we're on March 11th. So if you listen last week, we talked all things that were coal specialized. Like we were talking about unions.

SPEAKER_04 7:37

I still again guys if you're if you're in my state and you're looking to start a union, contact me. I will sign up.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Oh, same. I'll do the same.

SPEAKER_04 7:49

Sign up 100%. I will I will pay your dues.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

I don't protect me. Yeah, I don't understand why it's not it's not a thing in every state. Also, like if you want to nominate Cole for the national rep for all of nursing unions in every of the 50 states, like I will help you nominate him because I think there would be nothing more fun than watching him stand on stage and talk to all things presidential.

SPEAKER_04 8:16

You want to see me shit myself.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

I think it would be awesome.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

Did you heard this mouth? That would be the worst decision. Yeah, when you're up there and you're like, the fuck was I trying to say? And they're like, you can't say fuck on the air. Like, well, I just did. Also, I'm in a union, so fuck off.

SPEAKER_04 8:36

Remember, I'm a bold dick comes out of my mouth and out of my. I can't even believe I've said it.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

Yeah, yeah. We passed the age of 45, so we're allowed to say whatever we want. And I've got the gray to prove it, okay?

SPEAKER_01 8:49

I know.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

Yeah, I'll just show you my license. I'll be like, see? Look at the birthday, bitch. I get to say whatever I get. Well, let's do our today's in history. So, Thomas Edison, Jennifer Aniston. Hey girl. Oh wow. And Burt Reynolds were born on this day in history. Burt Reynolds was rocking it when he was young. Burt Reynolds, I think, rocked it until the day that he died.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

I don't know. He kind of turned douchey when he got older.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

There were I so I think he just had like the weird old Demingus stuff.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

Didn't he slap a reporter because he didn't know who he was? Call.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Did that happen? Call. Listen, we're we're approaching the same age.

SPEAKER_04 9:38

Okay. I'll shut up.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

And tell me you wouldn't slap somebody for saying something weird.

SPEAKER_04 9:46

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

For being accidental. Yeah. Right, yeah. Come here, bitch. Like I will I will teach you how to like being joked. Yeah, I think I I I think Bert just had some weird. But the dude was he was a stud. Yeah, he was. He was. Yeah. He he was a stud. Thomas Edison clearly like invented like everything that we use today in the time that we didn't use it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

And then Jennifer Aniston, hello. Hey girl, call you boy.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

All right. In 1770. Listen to our show, girl. Listen to our show. Also to my wife. Hey, uh, you look just like Jennifer Aniston. I'm just saying. Nutty, Nubby baby. In 1778, Voltier returns to Paris from exile. Cool. Okay. Welcome back. Don't care. Sacagawea gives birth to her first child in 1805. Why why is that a thing? I don't know. Sacagawea? Wasn't she like some Indian? Oh, listen, I'm I'm about to make us like all kinds of bad by saying some Indian. Oh, Sacagawea was the lady who guided Lewis and Clark. There you go. I knew the name sounded familiar, but I'm old enough for God. I was not trying to be like, sorry, I'm not trying to be racist, but who's Sakaweh? Alright, so first child in 1805. Saint Bernadette claims to see the Virgin Mary in 1858. Good for you. Okay. Thanks for using your eyes. The first U.S. cycling club is firmed formed in 1878. Okay. Firmed. The fact that a cycling club exists. I'm sorry. Like a bunch of people who ride bicycles are like, uh, now we're a club. Oh, like they're bikers or something. Like, do they have leather jackets?

SPEAKER_04 11:50

What's their first badge?

SPEAKER_03 11:53

One percenters, fuck off. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

The fact that that's a day. That it's a day. Listen, so if you haven't figured out yet, the only reason we read the national holidays and the days of like what happened at this day, because is we're making fun of it.

SPEAKER_04 12:17

Yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

If you've ever worked in a nursing environment, you know that there's some mama nurse there that's like, did you know that it was National Cupcake Day? That's why I brought 27 cupcakes. Like, no bitch. I'm just trying to get home because my bourbon is chilling. I'm just trying to make it to 7:30. By the time that I leave here at 7, I can get home at 7.30. Fuck you, I don't care about your cupcakes. Also, is that red velvet? And if it is, I'll pay you. So that's why we do this. We hope you guys enjoy. Alright, in 1916, women's rights activist Emma Goldman is arrested. Oh, what'd she do? Uh probably something relating to the B-ch word. Oh. No. Oh dear. Oh dear. A crusader for women's rights and social justice is arrested in New York City for lecturing and distributing materials about birthrights.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

Oh wow. That's a whole thing, though.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

That that is a whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 13:27

That's a deep thing. That's something we probably better not even.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

I know. You can't even get into it. So I I feel like however you feel, feel that way, but don't force other people to feel your way. Yes. Right. If you don't want a baby, don't have a baby. Yeah. If you want a baby, have all the babies.

unknown 13:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:45

And if you accidentally have a baby, give it to somebody else.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Yeah, that wants a baby. They can have a baby.

unknown 13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

I feel like we could run for president on that. I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_04 13:55

No, we didn't, we didn't we didn't touch the other stuff.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

I will be your vice president. And 1945 Yalta conference ends. Y-A-L-T-A. I don't why is this a thing? A week of intensive bargaining by the leaders of the three major Allied powers in Yalta at the Soviet resort town of the Black Sea. So apparently they agreed on something and let it go. No one cares. Alright, in 1960, Paola scandal heats up. 63 Julia Charles, the French chef, debuts.

SPEAKER_04 14:36

Okay, I love Julia Charles.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

She well, she was kind of a Jennifer Anison too. She was hot.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

I'm just saying. Okay, apparently girls with a a J name. I'm a fan of. In 1970, Japan launches its first satellite. Okay. And in 2020, pop superstar Whitney Houston dies at the age of 48. Oh my god, that's my age. A man, this is a that's my age. You're a 40. Well, you also don't do cocaine. True. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I think you're good. And you go to the doctor and you take care of your shit. No snorty snorty. But yeah, somebody needs some bugger sugar, and she took it all. But I she was such a good singer, though. Oh my god. She really was. So when you do the national anthems for like the uh the Super Bowl World Series, whatever, she's got the one.

SPEAKER_04 15:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

It's it's hers. It's it's no one else's.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

Not Janet Jackson.

SPEAKER_03 15:43

Yeah, yeah. Everybody likes nipples, okay. But man, her her national anthem.

SPEAKER_04 15:54

Well, it could really anything that she sang. Well, I mean, well, what was it? The movie, The Bodyguard.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

That was an excellent show. Yeah. Love that show. She did such a good job in that.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

If you liked girls, you liked her. If you liked boys, you liked Kevin Costner. Yeah. Yeah. Boom.

SPEAKER_04 16:11

Like, there you go.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

The power couple breath there. Yeah. It's like, I don't care that you're white and you're black and y'all are dating each other and doing the things, but whatever y'all are doing, I'll lock it. For real. They had said, did you ever watch her uh like documentary on Netflix? I know I keep bringing up documentaries on Netflix.

SPEAKER_04 16:31

I am the worst person about watching documentaries. Listen.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

Like, I know. Do I tell me to write shit down?

SPEAKER_04 16:38

You do. Like, dude, I like you've told me you need to watch this. And I'm like, okay, I'll check into it.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

I'm gonna leave here in like an hour. When I leave, just hit Netflix on your thing and put in Whitney Houston. Okay. I promise, you will have the best night ever.

SPEAKER_04 16:56

If I can talk the spouse into watching it.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Listen, it's all are you guys like making food tonight or are you ordering in?

SPEAKER_04 17:02

Probably, I don't know. Probably ordering in.

SPEAKER_03 17:05

Okay. If you're ordering in, then start it.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Because then it's kind of like a date night. So do that. You will have the best music, the best entertainment, the best everything. I I think I'm gonna go home and watch it with my spouse again. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04 17:21

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

It was so good. Like it's it's really it's like it's crazy. It's a it's a booger sugar nightmare.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

Right? Like, literally, the girl did more drugs than the cartel. For real. For real.

SPEAKER_04 17:36

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

And then had like the best songs, the best entertainment, the best everything. It is such a good thing. The other thing you need to watch, which uh for our listeners too, is the Bee Gees documentary.

SPEAKER_04 17:51

Okay. I will, if I can talk the spouse into watching it, I will watch it. Just turn it on. And if not, then I will watch it later.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

When the first song hits, they're gonna be like, hey, let me listen to you. I remember this. It's totally nostalgic. The Bee Gees one is too. The Bee Gees. I don't want to sound like a crybaby fireman, but I cried harder than my child's birth at the Bee Gees documentary. Oh wow. Like lost my shit. These three brothers coming over from Australia trying to make it, like going through Europe and England and then into the United States and then making it through the disco era and then surviving the collapse of the disco era and writing every RB hit that happened in the 90s.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Okay. And they play all the songs. They play them all. So you're you're gonna end up dancing, you're gonna take your clothes off, you're gonna be eating like chicken wings while you're doing it. It is so good. Both of those. Yeah, Whitney Houston, the Bee Gees one. If you haven't, go ahead and press pause on this and listen to it. But then come back and also like, follow, share.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

There you go. Wow. He threw that in there. I got all lost for that. I was confused. I was like, what do I do? Where do we go?

unknown 19:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:19

I'm like, are we pausing? What do I need to do? Who's getting naked?

SPEAKER_03 19:25

Alright. So our national days. It's ne it's it's National 311 Day.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

What is that? Uh okay. Let's click on that one. I'm like, what is National 3 Day?

SPEAKER_03 19:40

It looks like people are in Scrubs, but I don't think they're in Scrubs.

SPEAKER_04 19:42

I mean, is it like 420 or?

unknown 19:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

What? Okay, I can't wait. That's coming. It's coming. It's like within a month. I can't wait. National 311 Day offers an annual reminder that 311 is a resource for communities around the country to connect with their city and non-emergency services. 311 system is the non-emergency number to call in many cities across the country for residents to report issues and find out about cities.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

So it's contacting your city or municipality to say that like your water's out, the electricity's out, all that stuff. So yeah. Okay. I learned something new.

SPEAKER_04 20:28

There you go. I had never I don't think I'd ever heard of that.

SPEAKER_03 20:32

It is uh Well Oh my gosh. This is a day. Alright, this is so dumb. It's National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Okay, that's kind of gloomy.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

So thank your gravedigger day.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

It's National Promposal Day. Promposal day. This is the day that you're supposed to propose to your prom date to go to prom with them.

SPEAKER_04 21:13

I pray to God they don't turn me down.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

That's dumb. I'm just gonna say that right there. I know my kids have come up with the most epic prom posals. I think it's a prom puzzle. Uh they're doing something, and I'm looking at him like, the fuck are you doing? Yeah, and why are why are you doing this for your girlfriend? I don't care. If she's your girlfriend, uh clearly she's going with you to prom. Why do you gotta dress up like Jesus and be like, Jesus walked on water for you? Oh wow. Oh no, dude, it's a whole thing. My son had an epic one. It was so good. It's like if you turn him down, it's because you don't like God. Bro, knuckles. Also, what is promposal? Fuck around. It's National Registered Dietician Nutritionist Day. Eat good food.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

Congratulations on your day.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

It is National Oatmeal Nut Waffle Day. Not oatmeal day. Not nut day. Oatmeal Nut Waffles Day.

SPEAKER_04 22:23

I'm gonna officially say I've never had one. I've never had one of those either.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

It's also National Worship of Tools Day. Not dickheads, but the things that actually help you mechanically do stuff. That's very clear in the picture that it's it's actually like hand tools, not douchebags. Also, can we get a national douchebag day? Yeah. I think we need one. Yeah, like April 1st, National Douchebag Day. Let's do it March 12th. It's also National Johnny Appleseed Day. Wow. I okay. I don't. Why were there balloons in the bathroom?

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Why were there balloons in the bathroom? For the birthday potty. For the birthday party.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

God.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

And another corny dance joke. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

I hope you guys like this. So I've I have had people like reach out and tag. You know, so clearly we have like our core group of people. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 23:46

And thank you guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 23:48

Yes. Also, do a better job of sharing the show. Yes. Shh.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Share the show. Share it. Share the show.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

Right now. Press pause. Send it to somebody that you know. Share. To all your people. Yeah. Dickheads. But they reach out and they're like, you're fucking dad jokes. And I'm like, I I know. They're like, where do you get those from? I was like, I literally off a website.

SPEAKER_04 24:15

Like I just scroll and be like, that one looks funny and read it.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

There's like 600 on TikTok.

SPEAKER_04 24:20

I still say we need to do that on TikTok. You're corny ass.

SPEAKER_03 24:25

Yeah, just me sitting there like, we need one of the cows to tell the dad joke.

SPEAKER_04 24:31

Oh wow. That would be hard. Can we do that? I don't okay. This is me still trying to learn, guys. I'm still learning. Chat GPT thing.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

Like the whole like TikTok GPT.

SPEAKER_04 24:41

If I could animate something. Okay, I'll work on it.

SPEAKER_03 24:44

We can just film one of your cows looking at the camera. Yeah. And then like voice over me telling a joke. Do you think it would like lip read it in?

SPEAKER_04 24:53

I don't know. We could try.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

We got try. Yeah, that'd be good. We could try. Because then I can move it off the show to just a lip reading thing and then they could get them every day. Every day. Sorry, guys. I hope you're excited. Alright. So we're following up from our talk last week.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

We're really not doing a follow-up. It's just we're just talking. We're wasting your time today.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

I know. You guys are driving to work or driving home from work. You're probably like drowning in leaky mascara because you're crying that you made very bad life choices, but at least they got you a boob transplant on graduation.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

You know, because you signed up for your bonus for whatever hospital that you're working at, and now that you're angry that you work for that hospital. You know, or the doctor that you married because they were there.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

I have noticed that though. Oh, really? Like, like back like back in the day, yeah, at a facility that I worked at, it was like those residents were hooking up early.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

Oh, for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:06

They walk in, they'd be like, oh, she cute, she mom.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:10

And those nurses were all about it. They were like, there's my sugar daddy.

unknown 26:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:15

I don't have to worry about work for the rest of my life. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 26:19

You know there's got to be like the like a forefront thing. It's like, I'm going to go be a nurse and then I'm going to marry a doctor.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

So I wish that was a thing for a boy. Like I could go in and be like, I'm going to be a nurse, and then walk in and be like, oh.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

Hey, sugar mama. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

Female neurologist. Hey. My wife currently is strangling the shit out of me.

SPEAKER_04 26:42

I mean, I've met a few nurses that never married a physician. And then I've met some residents and docs that were actually married before they even made it.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

Well, I've also met the ones that literally went to nursing school to go to a whatever hospital and meet someone and marry them.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

Their boy meet?

SPEAKER_03 27:06

Oh, yeah, for sure. Like one that was like some kind of specialist that thinks I'm pretty, and that one picked her up and they did it. And she's living her best life, and I'm so happy for her and proud for her. I mean, I'm jealous.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

I'm like, I'm like, where is Maud?

SPEAKER_03 27:24

She is no longer working. She is managing like their like horse farm slash kid. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 27:30

I'm really jealous. I'm like, you've been doing something wrong for the last 27 years. Or I just ain't cute enough. What are the two? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Listen, what's wrong with my smile?

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Like I'm like smiling and be like, why don't you like me?

unknown 27:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

I got a hot one though. I found a hot one. Yeah, I snagged her up. You did not go wrong. I didn't. So when I was in medic school, we're gonna tell this story because this is not a story that out uh outs anybody. But uh when I was in med school, uh where I got sent to med school, we got sent to specific hospitals, you know, and we'll just say Texas. Uh so I I went to one of the hospitals and uh literally knocked this girl over walking into the ER. Oh wow. I showed up my typical like 30, 40 minutes early and uh walked in through the doors that opened up and like ran her over. Boom. Like knocked down to the ground. I was like, holy shit. And like picked her up and I was like, God, you're hot. And she was like, What? And I was like, I sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud. And she was like, Well, I'm going to a CPR right now, I need you to help me. And I was like, Yeah, I'm not like clocked in or here yet. I'm I'm here early. And she was like, Yeah, well, we got a CPR going on. I was like, Yeah, well, good for you. Go figure it out. Wow. And literally, she sat persons dying. Clearly has the people in the room, the the overnight personnel are there, but the day shift people are coming in. She was ending her day shift because she was a night shifter and I was coming in on day shift. And she's like, Yeah, I need you to go help because the people in there suck and don't know what they're doing, and I need you to do it. And I was like, Yeah, not happening. Oh, wow. I'm not doing it. She's like, What's wrong with you? I was like, What's wrong with you? And she was like, Who are you? And she like looks at my patch and then calls me by my city and she's like, Oh, I'm your preceptor. I'm like, Fucking damn it. I just argued with the lady that's got to sign me off, like, oh, I just felt this way.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

Oh god bless.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

She's like, get in there and do CPR. And I was like, fine. So it is this like five foot one easily 300-pound girl. Oh wow. With like triple eth. These things like touch the ground and then bounced up and slapped you in the face every time you did a chest compression. Oh wow. So I see the little medic boys from my class that are in there from the overnight shift doing chest compressions. I'm like, that's not good, that is not gonna work. She's probably already dead, but whatever. I don't care. So they get me in there and I start doing it. So I'm like, do it chest compressions, and I keep getting slapped literally like above my elbows with boobs. I'm like, somebody better take tape these bitches down. And so this girl does it. It literally tapes them down to the bed. And I was like, all right, that works. So then I'm doing chest compressions, and I keep knowing that her eyes are open and she's staring at me. The one I'm doing chest compressions on.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 31:04

And I'm like, somebody close those. So she has creeped out. Yeah, she does it. She closes them. Sitting there doing it. And so this is a a level one trauma facility, all the teaching stuff. So they are doing chest tubes, central lines, EJs, IJs, like every like trying to save this person. And I like, if if the family actually listens to this show, just know that your family member that I'm talking about, I'm not talking about in a bad way. They did everything to fix this person, everything, while I'm doing chest compressions. I'm like, I'm not supposed to be here for another 30 minutes, but I've been doing this for 31 minutes, and this is bullshit. As I'm doing chest compressions, I keep looking that she is looking at me, and I'm like, I like the way you're looking at me. Keep doing that. And she's kind of giving like the up-down look. And I'm like, uh, okay. Literally, that this girl that I ran into walking into that later became my wife. I I asked at one point if like all of the nurses at this facility had come from hooters because every single one of them, bleach blonde hair, fake titties, and like this big round. Oh, my pinky finger. Wow. And I could do the most gorgeous. We we tried to find a way to take patients to that hospital. It was a trauma center, so it had to be a trauma that we took there because it was outside of our city. But if it was in any way a trauma, we're like, we're going there.

SPEAKER_04 32:42

Encoding now.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Yeah, bitches. We are five minutes out.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

We did everything we could to go there. And so, like, I meet this girl. So after you know, after everything's all said and done, it it didn't work out well for the patient. But uh she goes, Hey, so and so. She calls me by the city that I worked for. She's like, Come in here, and she's sitting in there, like doing her chart in her little charge nursery. I go ahead and sit down, and she's talking to me, and she's like, Do you know so-and-so? And I'm like, actually, that's my captain.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

And she was like, Oh. She's like, Yeah, I used to work with that person, you know, at this flight service. Like, yeah, I I remember my captain saying something about that. I didn't know that they they worked there with you. Like, yeah. And so I got on my phone and called my captain. I was like, hey, look at this. He's like, you were not there to find a girlfriend. You were there to learn and come back and do your job. I was like, noted. Thank you. So it was like several months later, uh my not at the time girlfriend or spouse is like, hey, you know, so we go out to eat, you know, at the end of night shift. Do you want to come out to eat with us? Yeah, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. She goes, Yeah, I wasn't asking. Like, oh you are even hotter, you're kind of bitchy. And so it it took forever. And then finally, like, I came in when you're going through medic school, you gotta go through like different rotations in different departments of the hospital and and do the things. And so I had done part of my ER rotation, which kind of like it I was on day shift when I got there, and she was a night shifter. Ah so I was being told that I was being changed, you know, that I was gonna do other stuff. I had to do OB. I was like, Well, can I go to this hospital? Yeah, and they were like, Yeah, sure, if you want to go to that hospital. And I was like, hey, I know y'all are like having a problem with the hospitals and everybody like you know, needing space. I'm happy to go back to that hospital. Like, I'll even work nights. Right, wink wink. That's my end. And so my educator was like, Yeah, I just gotta call like the preceptor there and make sure that they're good with it. Well, which was her. Okay, convenient. Yeah, weird. She was dating a doctor at this time, so pulled her away from a doctor. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Okay, yeah, that takes some, that takes a balance.

SPEAKER_03 35:30

Wow. She's gonna be so pissed about this. I love it. Like, I went in for my OB rotation and walked by, and she's sitting next to the doctor that she's dating. Like with her feet up, and I knocked her feet off the counter, and I was like, Hey, can you show me where the elevator doors are to OB? Oh, and like immediately, like perked up, like titties pointed at a perfect like and she's like, I want to take you here. I want to do this. She gets me to the elevators and she's like, Yeah, you just you know push this button here. She pushed it for me, and I got her to the elevator. She's like, Yeah, thanks. And she stood there and then like her jaw dropped because she was pissed that I didn't ask her for like her number or anything. Oh wow. She had already asked me to like hang out with him and go to breakfast. I was like, Yeah, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. She goes, Yeah, I'm not asking. So we had I the our coming together story is the most unreal story ever. Like she should have never paid me any attention because I wasn't paying her any attention. I just had a divorce and I was not interested in anyone whatsoever. And then this girl shows up, and I'm like, God bless, if I could draw my future wife, if I if I could draw what I've wanted my entire life, I would draw her. Oh wow. Right. So I hope she hears that part. You know, as much as I'm laughing at everything, I could literally I would draw my wife. I she is the like most good, you've seen her. Yeah. Most gorgeous, most fun, uh, like easiest. Love her to death. Easiest to get along, unless you live with her 24 hours a day. She's got her moments, but easiest to get along with. So much fun to be with. I I I I can't. So finally it ends up, you know, like, can we hang out together? And so we had a like a date night that turned into, you know, overnight. And uh went from there. And so the next day I like I had to work with her. Oh wow. And so I go to work and I'm like, hey, just so you know, this that's not what I'm about. I I did I didn't intend to do it. And she's like, Yeah, are we doing this at work? And I was like, Oh, I guess not. So she thought she needed to go get like an SDD check. She thought I was a slut. I thought she was a slut, and I was like, Oh my god, this is terrible. Like, we shouldn't be here. I this is the most awful decision I've ever made. I'm actually a much better person than this. I believe in Jesus, I shouldn't have done what I did, and I'm so sorry. I need to repent and get she's thinking the same thing. And so like a couple days later, she's like, So are we hanging out or what? And I'm like, why would we hang out? You did not, and she was like, Well, I was just wondering, and I was like, I tried to tell and like apologize for what happened the other day, which one fuck, thank you. Oh my god, and two, I'm so sorry that that was not my intent. That's not please, and she's like, Yeah, whatever. And I'm like, No, you need to understand that was not my intent. That's not why we hung out, and she's like, Yeah, I was just wondering if we were hanging out, and since then we've like been in love together, like inseparable. But literally, like people ask all the time, like, how did you and your wife meet? You know, because they always tend to So question who ended up asking to go on this date? My wife did.

SPEAKER_04 39:10

Oh, so she finally talked you into it.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Yeah, okay, okay. She she was like, Are we doing this or what? Are we hanging out?

SPEAKER_04 39:18

And she dumped the doctor.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

Yes. I well, so what turned into was I you know, I I I said, yeah, let's hang out. I'm I'm having to do a whole bunch of stuff for school and like study and get ready for a test. Do you want to just come over to my place and we'll just hang out for a little bit? I'm so sorry if like I'm studying or I'm kind of off, but it's it's because of you know all this stuff, you know, that I'm having to like complete for my job. And she said yeah. And then, you know, because she worked nights, she like overslept, you know, came over late, and I'm giving her shit. I'm like, so you're you're gonna like give me shit about this date and then not show up and like leave me hanging, like, I'm sorry I didn't. She's like, Oh my god, you're such a dick, blah blah blah blah. So both of us like actually hated each other.

SPEAKER_04 40:08

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 40:11

And then fell in love with each other and made it work, but it was uh yeah, she she initially asked, I said, okay, and then she asked again because like I I went away from her. So then we had our you know overnight visit, our slumber party, and uh then it turned into she hates me, I hate her, and she was like, Well, you're coming over again, and I'm like, No, why would I come over again? This is so dumb. You just made me feel like I'm such a jerk. And uh now, like went back over and hung out again, like met her family, uh, fell in love with them, she fell in love with mine, and uh like literally like we we met because of like work and school and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

You've running over her, little ass.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

That's how I love it, yeah. I lit literally like trucked her to the ground and uh felt awful and then like told her no, and then she's like trying to get get me just to hang out with him and be nice because she knows like I'm a single guy, she's a single girl, and all the single people are like hanging out and going to get breakfast after night shift. I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not looking for a girlfriend, no, thank you. Yeah, I'm not asking, like, you know, and then our first night, I'm like, hey, I'm sorry that that happened. She's like, We doing this at work, clearly not. No, sorry. I'm like, I better go get tested for whatever I got now because you're just that kind of person. She's like, I'm that kind of person, you're that kind of person.

SPEAKER_01 41:49

I'm like, well, yeah, no big deal.

SPEAKER_03 41:53

And so we just I I love love the way we came together, and I love the like life and relationship that we've built since then. It's always been around work, and it's kind of like made work more fun because people always ask, you know, how did you two end up together? Because clearly they look at me and they look at her and they're like, those two don't match. There's something gone wrong. One of these things is not like the other. And so then we tell him, and then it's always fun to sit there and watch because all the girls are like, Oh my god, that's so sweet.

SPEAKER_01 42:31

I can't believe it. The best thing ever. I wish I could find a guy like that. I'm like, you don't want a guy like me, I promise. Ask her.

SPEAKER_03 42:41

I'm quick to tell you where to shove it.

SPEAKER_04 42:48

It would not be the same if you were not like that.

SPEAKER_03 42:52

If I was some kind of pushover, I never would have ended up with her. I think that's the only reason. So she'll tell everybody, she's like, I I didn't marry him because he had a good personality. He's kind of a dick. That's that's what made me like him. I'm like, wow.

SPEAKER_04 43:06

Thanks, thanks.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

That's awesome. And she's like, listen, if you weren't like that, I wouldn't be with you. And I was like, well, cool. Well, I didn't intend to be like this, but apparently I am, and I'm just trying to help you go.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

What do you like about me again?

unknown 43:23

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

But I love it. I love so we've kind of turned this into like a relationships in the workplace. Yeah. Yeah. That that happens all the time. How many times have you have you ever I have one time where I like accidentally walked into like a supply room and then all of a sudden the clothes are being refitted. And I was like, what's going on in here?

SPEAKER_04 43:48

I don't think I ever have.

SPEAKER_03 43:49

Never not a I've heard stories. Not a stairwell, not anything. No, I've just heard stories.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

But have never I don't think I have ever walked in on anybody.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

Well, and so like nurses, like the rumor mill, like is quick and big.

SPEAKER_04 44:06

Oh yeah. I mean, you walk in and it's like, have you heard? Yeah, did you know? I'm like, let's go count and you can tell me all about it. Like, I'm ready. Who does it start with? I mean, I'm I'm all about it. I'm like, tell me the juice. I want to hear it. Give me all the tea. Like, did you know? Did you know? Did I know? Did I know what? I mean, because honestly, it's like every time I go back to work, something new. Oh my, oh, when did that happen?

SPEAKER_01 44:38

Yeah. How are you pregnant? When did you wind up with this disease? What happened to you again? What did this happen?

SPEAKER_04 44:44

Like, I mean, it's like it's literally every week. Like, I'll have my few days off and I'll go back to work. And it's like, have you heard?

SPEAKER_03 44:52

Oh, we just went on vacation and we came back from vacation and it was the whole have you heard thing, but there was like six stories. Yeah. The six big ones that just happened. And I was like, what do I need to like give you all that the like the pre-leave for vacation dad talk? Like stop being a dickhead, stop being a douchebag, close your legs. What are y'all doing?

SPEAKER_04 45:16

How did y'all do this? Why are y'all winding out? It's like in a matter of days, people are wilding out. Yeah. It's like, what just happened? Yeah. I'm I'm honestly I'm excited about Wednesday. Like, what am I gonna get Wednesday?

SPEAKER_03 45:30

Go back in and be like, have you heard? Like, no, but tell me. Let's go count.

SPEAKER_04 45:37

Oh, wait, this is gonna take longer than I count. Let's go do some crash cards real quick. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

Oh my god, I love it. Hey, um do you want to walk with me upstairs right quick? Did you say you were hungry this morning? Let's go get breakfast. Who did what to who? And what?

SPEAKER_04 45:55

Yeah, did you not notice the way that they were walking? No, I didn't know. I'm like, can people just send me a text? Got some tea.

unknown 46:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:01

Tell you Wednesday.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

So, alright, with the tea thing. Do you know how long it took me to understand what that meant? Oh, you poor thing. Because our person, our person, that's their phrase. It is, yes. And she kept saying T T T and I was like, oh well, I don't drink tea. What is your addiction with tea? I'll have coffee. She's like, oh my god, you're so old. She's like, I just have tea. And I'm like, why do you have tea? I don't understand the tea thing. Wait, I need to tell you something. Just say that.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Gotta love it. Just tell me, tell me something. Stop saying tea because every time you say tea, I'm like, what? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

I think honestly, the first time she said that to me, I was kind of like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_03 46:51

Yeah, I'm not thirsty. What? Okay. Um I don't get it. And she always gives a look like she like rolls her eyes somewhere, and I'm like, what's wrong with your eyes? What's happening? Did you forget your meds this morning? I need to go talk to you. Like, yeah, but what's wrong with your eyes? I want to talk to you over there. Over where? Where are my eyes pointing? Where are your eyes pointing? They're pointing in a lot of different directions. What is happening? There's tea and eyeballs, and I have no idea what's going on right now. And I just need my day to function normally because I'm figuring out it's not going to be normal. And then all the information gets said, and you're like, what? I look forward to it.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

I love the tea. That happened in the last two days? Yeah. What what happened when we left? Because it's only been two days. How did this happen in two days? I know.

SPEAKER_03 47:47

I'm like, so-and-so's in jail, the other person got tased, this person's over here. So and so died.

SPEAKER_04 47:53

You're like, what? You're like, you're like, are you serious? Yeah.

unknown 47:58

What?

SPEAKER_04 47:59

I'm like, no, really. What happened?

SPEAKER_03 48:01

Why am I just finding out now? How long have you known? And they're like, don't worry about that. And I'm like, no, how long have you known? Because Gen Xers like fucking call me. Like, I was waiting to talk to you in person. I don't want to hear it in person. You should talk to me on the phone. I know. I'm like, yeah, you text me all the time. Yeah. Just a second. Why did you wait till I got to work? And now I'm shocked and I have to get over being shocked. And also, who's taking their place today?

SPEAKER_04 48:26

That's a whole nother issue. They're like, yeah, no one.

SPEAKER_01 48:30

You're like, great. This is awesome. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 48:32

This is gonna be another, another wonderful day.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

I am I'm quitting. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

This was such a fun episode. I had well, thank you for for hearing uh uh my spouses and I's get together story that should should not have ever happened. I love that's funny. Yeah. We we have a weird one.

SPEAKER_04 48:57

Love your love your wife. Love your wife. She is so good. She's awesome. She really is. I'm a fan.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

Clearly. I'm also a fan of tea, even though I just learned what tea was like three weeks ago. I'm sorry. I love tea. Love it. Love it. I and so where did that statement like come from?

SPEAKER_04 49:19

I have no clue.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

No idea. Is it because like I'm older than you? Like British people like meet over tea and talk and like gossip about stuff? Maybe. Alright. If you know where the tea thing came from, you gotta tell us.

SPEAKER_04 49:32

Or we're gonna have to ask the person.

SPEAKER_03 49:34

Where did that come from? Well, because I've heard it from from more than one person, but I heard it from that person the most. And uh literally, I I felt so lost when they told me that they had tea that I was like, what is it took me like several months to go, what are you talking about when you say tea? Oh wow. Because there were so many times I was like, okay, and like walked off because I thought that they had like a cup of tea and they were excited about it, and I was like, congratulations. And just like people were like, good for you. I brought water and Gatorade. Um, congratulations. Uh we'll go drink that and you drink your tea, weirdo. Just laugh. And finally I was like, I have something to tell you. I'm like, why didn't you say that a couple hours ago? And they're like, I told you a couple hours ago. Well, what did you say? I had tea. That doesn't mean anything to me. I don't know what tea is. Tea is a thing that you drink and it's either hot or cold. And it's like European hot, American cold. Why do I need to know that you have tea? That means I needed to talk to you about something. Stop using weird languages. I'm confused.

SPEAKER_01 50:50

Do you see how old I am? You're gonna give me a heart attack by saying tea. Stop saying tea. Just be like, I need to tell you something. It's the same thing, it takes the same amount of words. Too many words.

SPEAKER_03 51:00

Yeah, too many words. I got tea. Yeah. Tea. Alright. Short, short little ones. Something to drink, or do you need to go outside and pee? It throws me off. I can't handle oh my god. Were you were you there the day that they all the young kids were trying to teach us all the new words? No. Like dead ass. No. And I dude. That's gonna have to be another episode.

SPEAKER_04 51:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 51:30

Did you know that there's like a whole new like gen, why, whatever the fuck these kids are?

SPEAKER_04 51:35

I don't know what these kids are.

SPEAKER_03 51:36

Something. Yeah. The generation that's graduating nursing school that's coming in, they have a whole new language.

SPEAKER_04 51:43

Oh, okay. That frightens me.

SPEAKER_03 51:45

Yeah. There are words that don't mean what we know them to mean. We know these words to mean those things because we read the actual original Webster's dictionary. They've made them mean something else.

unknown 52:00

Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 52:01

Like a whole nother generation.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

Oh, like no cap, dead ass, fit, fucking everything else. I think one of them started talking to me like that one day, and I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're saying, dude.

SPEAKER_04 52:12

Yeah, this is gonna be another episode. So get ready, guys. I'm gonna have to do research.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

He's like, I'm talking about this, this, and this. And I'm like, no, you're not. You're talking about some dead ass over there with uh that's fit. Like, did they go work out before they were murdered?

SPEAKER_01 52:27

Yeah, and you're like, I I don't know what you're saying or why you're saying it, but I don't like what you're saying.

SPEAKER_03 52:33

Can you just say what you actually mean to say? Like, use real American words and speak to me in plain English, right here, to my face. Talk human, please. And they're like, Yeah, no drip. And I'm like, drip, drip what? What's dripping? Where is it dripping from? Oh wow. Okay, yeah, we're definitely gonna have to discuss this. Okay. Well, thank you guys for joining us for another Wednesday. This has been so much fun. I we love our little conversations that just twist off and go. Yep. They're more fun. Yeah, they're fun. Yeah. Bugs and cuddles.

SPEAKER_04 53:03

Kisses.