Unhinged Essentials
Unhinged Essentials is a podcast for essential workers everywhere.
From healthcare to first response and beyond, this show brings honest conversations, real-life chaos, and the humor that comes with doing the job when things don’t go as planned.
Hosted by a registered nurse, it’s a space for the stories people usually keep to themselves—but probably shouldn’t.
Unhinged Essentials
032 Cuss & Discuss
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Today we talk about yucky and funny words! For instance, Uranus. lol! We're so excited that you're spending part of your day with us. Thank you! We hope we make you laugh, relax and feel normal. Don't forget to hit the follow, like, and share button on your podcast forum of choice. Have a great day! Welcome to spring!
Also, check all our socials: Facebook, TikTok, Instagram. We have MERCH! go buy it!
Hugs, Cuddles and Kisses!
Leave us a message!! We want to hear from you!!! Thanks again for listening to us!
All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of our podcast. Thank you for joining us today.
SPEAKER_01Hey guys, how's life?
SPEAKER_02If you are here for the first day, welcome. If you are coming back, um we are thankful for your shloadiness. It is March 20th. Our days for today. Fred Rogers, Heinrich Libsen, the Norwegian playwright who published the 19th century theater into grittier realism in dramas like A Doll's House and Heda Gobbler. Heinrich Ib Ibsen Libsen? Sure, that person. And Spike Lee. Birthdays. Happy birthday.
SPEAKER_01Happy birthday.
SPEAKER_02Alright. In 1345, we're going back to 1345. Goodness grace. I hope you're ready. Tie one on. Here we go. 1345. Black Death is created allegedly. I love how it's common and says allegedly. In 1413, Henry the Fifth ascends upon father's death.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Wow, what?
SPEAKER_02It says Henry the Fifth ascends upon Father's death. The first English monarch of the Lancastrian dynasty dies after years of illness, and his eldest son Henry V ascends to the English throne.
SPEAKER_01Wow. Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Just saying. In 1778, King Louis the uh 16th receives U.S. Representatives. Congratulations. Uncle Tom's Cabin is published in 1852. Republican Party is founded in 1854. In 1861, Willie and Tad Lincoln get the measles in 1995. So nothing happens on this day from 1861 to 1995. Tokyo subways are attacked with sarin gas.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_02God man, angry frickin' people. Alright, whatever. Okay. National Days.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Sorry. Sorry guys. I I interrupted read.
SPEAKER_02I'm not allowed to talk anymore.
SPEAKER_01He was struggling.
SPEAKER_02Alright, National Days. It is National Macaroon Day.
SPEAKER_01Didn't we just have one of those not a few months ago?
SPEAKER_02Have you ever had a macaroon?
SPEAKER_01I mean, maybe.
SPEAKER_02Is that the weird like cloud cookie? Alright, so national Yeah. National Macaroon Day. Alright. Uh birthday is in advance. None. Alright, so it's National Future Generations Day. The third Friday in March. National Future Generations Day.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02Dumb. Alright. National Proposal Day. Apparently, this is the day that you're supposed to propose to whoever you love.
SPEAKER_01I'm way too late for that.
SPEAKER_02Yep, no, I'm too old.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Way too late.
SPEAKER_02It's National Native HIV AIDS Awareness Day. What the fuck? I can't I can't with these data I so I love looking them up. But also at the same time, like this shit pops up and I'm like, who, what, and why?
SPEAKER_01I mean, everybody has to have a day, right? But n why So so Mike, really, if you think about it, what's unhinged essential day?
SPEAKER_02It I I get it. I get it.
SPEAKER_01What is our what is our day?
SPEAKER_02We don't have one.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we do.
SPEAKER_02Every day.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01Our official day.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. What is our day? What is the unhinged?
SPEAKER_01I'm ashamed.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01I'm ashamed.
SPEAKER_02Alright. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01August 13th.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. Okay. August 25. I didn't I wasn't picking up what you're putting down.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I'm hurt. But I want a divorce.
SPEAKER_02No. Stop it. If you need a break from me, go fucking take a nap. Nash national native? Why why why native HIV and AIDS?
SPEAKER_01I mean, everybody has to have recognition.
SPEAKER_02Are there that many native people with HIV and AIDS? Am I missing something?
SPEAKER_01I mean, we've seen.
SPEAKER_02I've been in the business for a minute.
SPEAKER_01I'm just saying. Okay, so like. Okay, I'm not knocking the native community.
SPEAKER_02Neither am I. Nope.
SPEAKER_01At all.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. Love you guys.
SPEAKER_01Yes. They be some sick people.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01They be some sick people.
SPEAKER_02Well, there was a movie that came out that talked about like intentionally making the native sick.
SPEAKER_01Okay, yeah. I mean, that's a good idea. That movie that yeah.
SPEAKER_02So that that's that I know that that's a whole thing.
SPEAKER_01But like, I don't know, like, as a community and whole, the native people are sick. Like, they have some health.
SPEAKER_02All of them are diabetic.
SPEAKER_01They are diabetic. All of them are amputees.
SPEAKER_02All of them are on al yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, it's like alcoholism is a big issue. I mean, nuts. It's nuts. It really is.
SPEAKER_02Well, anyway, so it's it's the HIV AIDS native day.
SPEAKER_01Okay, guys. Sorry for your diagnosis. We love you, and yeah, go get some help.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Like, stop being sick.
SPEAKER_01Guys, take care of yourself.
SPEAKER_02It's also National Ravioli Day. Spring begins today also.
SPEAKER_01I can't agree with that. It's 20 degrees outside and like F being cold. I don't understand that. Like all weekend it was beautiful.
SPEAKER_02Yep. And then today it's yesterday, like last night, what did we have? Like, it's 70, 80, 90 mile an hour winds.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was like.
SPEAKER_02I thought my house was going to roll across the field. It's attached to the ground. I thought it was gonna roll away.
SPEAKER_01It was like, I think when I got up this morning, 4 a.m.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Not rubbing that in or anything because my ass still wants to take a nap. But anyway.
SPEAKER_02You're still tired.
SPEAKER_01I am. I'm like, time for sleep. Anyway, yeah, so it was like, I think when I got up, it was like 25 degrees and felt like 14 outside.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I made the accident of spraying my windshield to get the bug guts off, and it instantly froze.
SPEAKER_01Oh guys, this is but our cows didn't run away, so that was a good thing.
SPEAKER_02I know. I love it. I think they're realizing who I am. I show up and they move it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they want you to go feed them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they're like, hey, bitch. As I drive by.
SPEAKER_01It'll be fine.
SPEAKER_02Bruh. You keep showing up. Give us food. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
SPEAKER_01What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
SPEAKER_02Open toed sandals. Oh wow.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Alright. We promised our listeners, and I'm actually excited about this. We so a week or so ago we talked about the Uranus thing.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so yeah. Uranus. It is I probably should have been the one to say that. No, I did.
SPEAKER_02I can't. Like, it's so I well, a couple weeks ago I even said there's like Uranus panties. Like, you can't you can't say those words without giggling. And then it was like, all right, we're gonna look up why it's even called Uranus, like why it's associated with butthole. And so we had we had to do it. So here it is. Uranus was named after the Germ German astronomer Johann Elbert Bodhi. After the Greek sky dead. Sure. Uranus. To align with the tradition of naming. Well, it's like I guess deity, but maybe it's a female, so it's dead.
SPEAKER_01I fuck, I don't know. Oh, sorry.
SPEAKER_02It's okay.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, right.
SPEAKER_02So whoever this this like god was Uranos, to align with the traditional naming of planets after classical mythology rather than original proposal Georgium Cetus. So it was going to be called Cetus, which would have made me giggle too. Because I'm like, oh wow. Seed. You squirted on it. But instead they call it Uranus.
SPEAKER_01Please turn this off.
SPEAKER_02So as Saturn is the father of Jupiter, Uranus was chosen to be the father of Saturn, which doesn't make sense because Uranus is like it it's smaller than Saturn.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_02Isn't Uranus like the smallest little planet that's like out there? Like it really is like a brown butthole, like out in the middle of the air. So we have this whole thing. So original name, Georgium Cetus, uh, upon discovering the planet in 1781, British astronomer William Herschel named uh Uranus Georgium Cetus, or the Georgian star, to honor his patron king, King George III. This was unpopular outside of Britain, so they renamed it and switched it to mythology. So Geor the German astronomer Johann Elbert Bodhi, who helped establish the object's planetary status, proposed Uranus, which is the Latinized form of the Greek sky god Uranus, to maintain the theme of Roman Greek mythological mythological names for planets like Saturn, Jupiter, and Uranus. So it became Uranus. So now, like, why why does that relate to butthole? So, because of us, we looked it up. The association between the planet Uranus and quote unquote butthole.
SPEAKER_00I can't, I gotta stop.
SPEAKER_02It's primarily due to a phonetic coincidence in English, where the pronunciation of the planet's name is especially in American English, it sounds like your Y-O-U-R-A-N-S-A-N-U-S. Right? So, pronunciation similarity. While astronomers often pronounce it your an us, your well no. Oh wow your your anus, right? Stressing the first syllable, it's commonly pronounced your anus or your anus. I they're they're they're putting even the phonetics in here, and it it sounds the same. Which sounds almost identical to the phrase your anus. Immature humor or social awkwardness.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_02The homonym makes the planet a consistent subject of jokes or puns, which is often discussed in popular culture or social media. Scientific fart evidence.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_02The association is humorously strengthened by science. Studies have since confirmed that the atmosphere of Uranus contains hydrogen sulfide. It's the same chemical compound that gives rotten eggs or a human fart smell.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Original or origin of the name. The planet was named in 1781 after the Greek god of the sky Oranos. This is completely unrelated to the Latin word anus, meaning ring. But the English interpretation or the Latin Latinized pronunciation creates the pun anus. Pop culture mentions uh this connection is so common that has it it has appeared in media like Futurama, which joked about the renaming of the planet Eurectum. And is frequently used in headlines about NASA probing the planet. Oh my goodness. I I dude, I'm in love. Wow. I like I can't I can't even like that I don't I there in our line of work, like clearly we are not appropriate.
SPEAKER_01Never. So there's there is no I don't think there's any lines that will cross.
SPEAKER_02No. So I I remember uh early on in my work, somebody had jumped off a rather large building and hit the concrete and they they they looked okay, but you know the the sudden stop at the bottom of the concrete like made their eyes pop out. And so we we were called to come in and kind of do are they still alive or is this an on-scene pronouncing of death? And so go over and see this person and see that their eyes are popped out of their skull, which was bizarre enough, and then to like check for a pulse. We we we're not going to dare put a uh 12 lead on them, even a two-lead. We we were just feeling verbulse, there was no pulse. Hey, they're dead.
SPEAKER_01Probably a good plan, right?
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01I mean, could you even imagine if you stuck that shit on the street?
SPEAKER_02Well, so even if there's something going on, even if it's like PEA, right?
SPEAKER_01What do we do with that?
SPEAKER_02Our our job, what it's our protocols were we had to transport that.
SPEAKER_01So we had to transport people who would do that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we had to transport PEA. So this person jumped off like a 17-story building, landed on the concrete, and just kind of like spot. So the only thing that was really out of place on this person was their their eyeballs bulged out. And so completely dead, sorry, 100% dead, inappropriate and it's like, all right, dead, dead, deader than dead. Has been dead for a long time. I'll check a pulse, you have no pulse. I'm not putting uh electricity on them. We're we're done, we're out, we're whatever. So we get back in our fire engine and we're driving back, and nobody's talking. And me being me.
SPEAKER_01Oh wow, not read, not read. No, not read.
SPEAKER_02Oh my everybody's quiet. This is weird.
SPEAKER_01Awkward.
SPEAKER_02And then I go, the nerve of that motherfucker eyeballing me.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Because he was. I mean, when I walked up, I mean like that that what like the right eyeball was like looking up at me.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_02Not in the eye socket, but you know, you know, like doing the thing.
SPEAKER_01It's like he there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. The nerve of that motherfucker, the nerve of that motherfucker eyeballing me.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow.
SPEAKER_02So inappropriate things happen. That's why that's why we're having our discussion today about your anus. Because I there are things I I are there words still like in the the medical field that just like kind of make you giggle. So my like I've said my panties. Panties make me giggle.
SPEAKER_01If you ever want to see me cringe, I'm I'm struggling. Hold on. Moist. Do not use that fucking word.
SPEAKER_02Moist ever. What is does it have a feeling? Does it have a smell?
SPEAKER_01Does it have a like the whole thing just makes my spine crawl? Just like yuck. Don't use moist.
SPEAKER_02Like there's jello attached to it.
SPEAKER_01It's like your fucking can of cranberry sauce.
SPEAKER_02I can't so yeah, moist.
SPEAKER_01What the fuck? Quit using that word.
SPEAKER_02So I like that's that's another one that I want to look up. Like, why is that a word that like triggers people?
SPEAKER_01You know, honestly, it didn't traumatize me until I became a nurse.
SPEAKER_02So was it like what did it have? Did it have a smell? Did it it had to have had another association with it?
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It's just the first time somebody said moist, you had to like go like into underboob and like I might have gotta dig out some jello on my arm.
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It like accidentally touched you and it was warm.
SPEAKER_01It was like slug on my arm. What the fuck?
SPEAKER_02What the fuck is this? And somebody was like, that's moist.
SPEAKER_01Moist is the worst word you can use.
SPEAKER_02I so I I'll agree.
SPEAKER_01Although it's like when you're charting, don't ever use the word pus.
SPEAKER_02Oh, perulent? Is that what you're supposed to say? Purulent. Probably. Prulent. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because everybody looks at it and they're like, pus. You're like, no, not pus.
SPEAKER_02Did you say pussy? No, I said pus. Like, that's pussy. And I'm like, no, that's pus. Like, you put a Y on it.
SPEAKER_01It looks very pussy.
SPEAKER_02Like I heard 2D flaps and tickle the piano keys. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. Pussy.
SPEAKER_00It's very pussy.
SPEAKER_02No. I meant infection. I wasn't talking about anatomy. Actually, the pussy part was coming out of their neck. Not their vagina.
SPEAKER_01Was I gonna call it out because I put a tree up? They were like, you need to fix that. I was like, you're right.
SPEAKER_02Listen, I've gotten in trouble for like patient states. Patient states. Dude, for for medics, you are allowed to put anything in quotations. And you don't get in trouble. Right. Patient states. My pussy hurts. You put that down and they're like, no, sir. And I'm like, that's what they said. That's what they said. That's what they said.
SPEAKER_01That's what's supposed to be.
SPEAKER_02I said, why are you in the ER? They said, my pussy hurts. I put it in quotes, which makes it safe. It made it safe. I don't know how many times I've turned it out, like somebody said something, and you like do the like broken neck turn, you're like, fucking what? Why are we in the ER today? And they're like, well, I got out of the shower and I fell on a beer bottle and now it's in my butthole. Like, sir, sir. No.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I have to throw this out there. Guys, I'm just gonna say, when you come to the ER and say that you slipped on it, it's not real. Yeah, nobody believes you. Nobody believes you. Not one person. We know that you've been practicing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm just gonna throw that out there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that was your girlfriend. And you forgot to breathe.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02You went and you sucked that shit up.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, married guys, same thing. Yeah. You come into the ER with things in your boo-boo.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01We know you put those in the boo-boo.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Or there was no slipping in the shower.
SPEAKER_02Or your person did.
SPEAKER_01Yes. There's there's none of that. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02You weren't answering the phone.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02And accidentally slipped on it because that is a one in a million shot.
SPEAKER_01And honestly, we know girlfriend had nothing to do with it. Yeah. You were on your own. You were doing your things.
SPEAKER_02We don't care either.
SPEAKER_01No, we don't care. We don't care.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01Actually, actually, I just love hearing the stories. It's the funnest part of it.
SPEAKER_02Just tell the truth.
SPEAKER_01Yes. So I was in the shower and I seen the shampoo bottle and I was like, I wonder if it'll fit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Do that. Like, whoa. Why did it go that far? I didn't know that there was negative pressure. And that I don't even know why I touched, just I just touched my butthole. I'm like, why was there negative pressure? It's like, whoa. Like, whoa. It went. It went. And there that's where it goes. Like, everything gets drawn into that orifice. Stay away from it.
SPEAKER_01And I love it though, because like the married man and boyfriend have gonna be like, my girlfriend did it. Well, where's your girlfriend at? She stayed at home.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, hiding.
SPEAKER_01Dude.
SPEAKER_02Do you know how many times like I've asked the question and they tell a lie, and I look at the girl that's in the room, and they're they just keep looking down at their feet, and I'm like, hey, ma'am, ma'am. Can I talk to you outside?
SPEAKER_01Did you actually stick the bottle in their ass?
SPEAKER_02And they're like, he was he was asking what it felt like. And I was like, I didn't I didn't know that it was just like kind of like take off. Take off is the freedom is the freak. I was like, oh, oh, you you you tickled too good.
SPEAKER_01And they're like really excited. I didn't have to touch the tomato.
SPEAKER_02I didn't have to grab his testicles or nothing.
SPEAKER_00Like all I did was just touched it and it was like shit, man.
SPEAKER_02It's just like I I don't know why he's lying to you. And I was like, like I would be embarrassed to also tell him not to sit up because if he breaks that shit, okay, we're not getting it out. It's just gonna cut everything.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so educational opportunity for everybody. There are these stores that you can go and purchase things to stick in your bottom.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01Oh, wait. Okay, so vibrators. Like store stores? Like vibrators do travel as well, so make sure they have a I have a story.
SPEAKER_02Oh wow. A story of somebody sitting on a bench and it's like I'm like, what is who turned on the air conditioner? And then every time this girl stands up, it's like, oh, the air conditioner's off. Ma'am, you can sit down again. What is going on? What is happening? Why why ma'am? Is there something in your boo-boo? And then they're finally like, oh, like they forgot. Bitch, you didn't forget. That shit is in there. You know it's in there. Quit playing. God bless I can't.
SPEAKER_01I think the best time I had was years ago. I'm gonna throw that in there. Years ago so nobody gets butthurt.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, so I was tripping at a new nurse and we knew what we were getting. Like, my favorite thing in the whole wide world is to hear the story.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So anybody, anytime somebody even like, we're getting a transfer for a something stuck in a somebody's butt, I'm like, I'll take it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I wanna know. I wanna know right now.
SPEAKER_01I'll do the things. It's fine. Yeah. I love it. I'm excited. Yes, my hand's raised. I'm ready. So I have this brand new baby baby baby nurse. And she knows what we're getting. She's like, I can't, I can't go in there. I'm gonna laugh. I'm like, girl, you got this.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Straight face, walk in there like you don't know what the hell's going on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you're going, you're going now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're doing this. And so we get the patient. I walk in the room, and all you can hear is a beep. That's all you hear. And I'm like, hi sir, how are you doing today? Well, I could be better. And I was like, me too. But anyway, what's going on?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, since we're here, how about you tell the truth?
SPEAKER_01And I love it. It's always the married guys who his wife stuck their vibrator in their butthole.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, what did you do to your wife and why is she sticking stuff in your butthole?
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Well, why'd we do this?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, how bad did you piss her off?
SPEAKER_01I'm like, was she were you asleep and she snuck it in? Or what happened?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Sorry.
SPEAKER_02Well, I was man, it you just if like they finally go, I they're like, hey, if they like pull you in close, like you want to hear the secret, I'm like, I don't want to hear the secret.
SPEAKER_01I feel uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_02I was just asking what it felt like. And I I didn't know that it was just gonna like go in there. But it did. I'm like, okay, well, since it did, um bruh.
SPEAKER_01I think I think the worst that I have ever seen in my life was this he was a young guy, and he came in like I think the month before he cut all of his fingers off. God bless with a with a saw. Holy crazy. So he just had all that fixed. Still had the bandage on his hand. And he comes in and he's like, he's like, my girlfriend thought it would be cool to fix something on my butt. And I'm like, well, I bet you thought it'd be cool too. But anyway, because you allowed me to be a good one.
SPEAKER_02She needed your consent.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so, like, we went through all the things and had the x-ray and all that, and I go back in the room a little bit later, and he's like, Am I gonna have to have surgery again? I'm like, yes. The what is that? Aquanet. The Aquanet can that you stuck in your.
SPEAKER_02Holy shit. Those are big cans.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it's way up there. So, yeah, you're gonna have to have surgery again. You're gonna be lucky if you don't have to have a colostomy. Good job! Like, wow. Dude, come on. I felt bad for it because like just had his fingers cut off. Now he's gonna have to have all the other stuff.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01It's like, wow.
SPEAKER_02Just like, bro, you're you're done. You're done.
SPEAKER_01Bad day.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So moving on.
SPEAKER_02What is happening here?
SPEAKER_01Uh oh. Are we having to detect?
SPEAKER_02Well, I can't talk. No, we're not. No, we're good. We're good. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Alright, alright, alright, alright.
SPEAKER_02I I can't so what are what are the other funny medical terminology words that make you laugh? So my my like butthole pant panties. Every time somebody says pussy, I'm like, pussy? I'm trying to think. I'm like I start I start laughing every time somebody says pussy.
SPEAKER_01You know, because pussy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's not pussy, it's pussy.
SPEAKER_02Purry like are you talking about like are you talking about like is it the the creamy milky green stuff? Or are you talking about the tootie flaps? Oh god. Because they they all make me laugh.
SPEAKER_01I don't know, like I'm trying to think of other words that get me moist as the worst.
SPEAKER_02Or like if anybody ever comes in with like a complaint that says I fingered finger finger or fingering anything, I'm like, uh what exactly are you talking about right now? Ma'am. And it's always the girls. It's like, you know, I just like I was, you know, it it just happened. Or anytime anybody ever tries to not say the word.
SPEAKER_01So I think my first experience as a nurse, like I had a patient come in and check in for abdominal pain.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's what they told Triage, so that's what I was expecting. Sure. I was like, no problem, it's all good. Yep.
SPEAKER_02Your stomach is hurting.
SPEAKER_01Your you tum you tum tum hurt. Are you throwing up? What's going on?
SPEAKER_02You got the diarrhea.
SPEAKER_01You know, I mean, that's what I was expecting. So, like, got him in the room, got him all tucked in. I went there, I was like, Hi, sir, what are you here for? My girlfriend stuck a bottle in my ass.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_01I'm like, that's not abdominal pain. That's a whole different situation.
SPEAKER_02That's right. That's right. That's the other thing. Like, when people come in and they're like, I got chest pain. Like, where's your chest? Where's your chest pain at? And they point to like their back left. Oh, the flank. And I'm like, so you have flank pain? They're like, no, that's my chest. It's not your chest. Maybe. No. It's you have flank pain.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02And they're like, no. I'm having chest pain. Like, I need you to shut up for a second. You're not having chest pain. What is going on? And they're like, well, from my back left all the way down to my groin, it feels like my nuts are gonna explode. I'm peeing, it looks like I'm peeing blood. So that's flank pain. Have you ever had a kidney stone before? And they're like, yeah. Seven. Does it feel like the last seven? Yeah. Cool, that's flank pain. That's not chest pain. They're like, no, it's in my chest. It's up here in my chest.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that drives me nuts.
SPEAKER_02Bitch, I fucking punch you in the face.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, dude, you're not having chest pain!
SPEAKER_02So then you gotta like pull them back and work them up, and like, alright, well, you said chest pain. You checked in with you know registering.
SPEAKER_01So is it true that you have to treat them as a chest pain?
SPEAKER_02I have been told this this is what really pisses me off. You have to you if they say chest pain, it's chest pain until it's ruled out.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02If they say anything that relates to a stroke symptom, dizziness, difficulty walking, difficult speaking, difficulty anything, you you have to treat it as a stroke every other thing you can change in triage.
SPEAKER_01That pisses me off.
SPEAKER_02Stroke symptoms is a this is a stroke, we're bringing them right back, we're gonna treat them like a stroke. No, because if they say chest pain, it is a chest pain until you rule it out.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Oh listen.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I'm sure there's nurses out there that disagree with me.
SPEAKER_02You feel my pain.
SPEAKER_01No. If you're okay. I don't know how to present this. 13-year-old checks in for stroke-like symptoms.
SPEAKER_02Yep. It's a stroke.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Especially if you have certain providers.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02There are trigger words like dizziness or a taxi.
SPEAKER_01And I'm sorry, guys. Dizziness does not always indicate a stroke. And if you're an MP, a doc, whatever the fuck you are, learn.
SPEAKER_02Do you know how many times it's just vertigo?
SPEAKER_01It is.
SPEAKER_02Or an ear infection.
SPEAKER_01Or it's a whole fact that they have other conditions that's contributing to that issue.
SPEAKER_02But you make money for the hospital, you make money for all the providers. But it's bullshit.
SPEAKER_01But it's bullshit.
SPEAKER_02It 100% is.
SPEAKER_01Let's go ahead and eliminate a whole nurse from an ER for your bullshit complaint.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I'm a 20-year-old with chest pain.
SPEAKER_01Bullshit complaint.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Unless you have some other medical condition that is indicating that you could possibly be having a chip.
SPEAKER_02Literally, my last one was chest pain. Where is your chest pain? Right side posterior. What do you mean posterior? I didn't like I didn't roll my eyes or something. Back here, you know, like pointing at their kidney. Like, that's not chest pain.
SPEAKER_01And so I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_02I tell them.
SPEAKER_01But it's in my rib.
SPEAKER_02If you say chest pain in the hospital, we think it's your heart.
SPEAKER_01Is you having a heart attack, bitch?
SPEAKER_02And they're like, no, but I have chest pain.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's I think it's just overworked. Way overworked.
SPEAKER_02Well, and they also know, especially if you're in like small town rural, I'm checking into this basic ER.
SPEAKER_01And I'm gonna claim chest pain automatically so that they get me back.
SPEAKER_02I can get in and out. They know. They'll even tell you that.
SPEAKER_01It's too much catering.
SPEAKER_02Like, I just want I just want to say that it's chest pain. Like, but it's not. They're like, it is.
SPEAKER_01Well, it doesn't matter, so fuck everybody else that's sicker than you are. And it's like, what ifs?
SPEAKER_02Alright, fine. Let's let's go back. Let's get you a ten thousand dollar bill.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's free.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Did you not know that?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because I'm on state insurance.
SPEAKER_01Cool. Like when you get to pay for it. Like when you check into an ER, it's automatically free because you don't get charged for shit when you check in.
SPEAKER_02Oh, dude, you are about to get me twisted off on another.
SPEAKER_01Okay, new episode later. We're gonna add that to the later to go episodes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I'm wide-eyeing Reed right now.
SPEAKER_02I'm checking in here because uh I can't pay for my doctor's appointment, but y'all are free since I'm at the ER.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, we're gonna see you anyway. It doesn't matter. What the we just pray that you have great insurance. That's another episode, too. Anyway, we're moving. Where are we put on this? I just did. Sorry, guys. Sorry. I made noises. Okay, anyway, let's move on. So funny words. We talked about our funny words. Moist.
SPEAKER_02Panties, underwear, all the things. And your anus. We figured out where your anus came from. Man, thank you guys so much for joining us on a Friday. This is so much fun. We love having you here. We love being here. We want to be here more often.
SPEAKER_01So yes, and we're gonna get even worse if we don't have rewards.
SPEAKER_02What you need to do is like, follow, share, leave a review. We only get one star or five stars. Don't put us in between.
SPEAKER_01Yes, because it's just fucking rude.
SPEAKER_02We we suck or we're awesome.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02So share with your friends.
SPEAKER_01Your family.
SPEAKER_02Make sure you follow. Make sure you download.
SPEAKER_01Kiss us. Also, whatever.
SPEAKER_02Look on our socials because we're having all of the merch stuff. I'm so excited! Yeah. Tell them about the merch.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Again. So this is a repeat from Wednesday episode. Yep. From Wednesday. I worked really, really, really, really hard on this. So I got yelled at even. I did. We almost got a divorce over. I got yelled at. Anyway. So yes, we have merch coming out. It's you'll have selections of colors. So we're trying to help with we're doing colors for Popo's, firefighters.
SPEAKER_02All the peeps. Even just straight up black.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean once you are black, you never go back.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, so like come in, check us out. If you hate it, let us know. Yeah. And if you have ideas, let us know, and we will probably be able to come up with something to our style. Our printify shop is up.
SPEAKER_02It's running.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it will be by now. So we're we're a week early, so or a few days early, not a week. Sure. Like four days.
SPEAKER_02It should be up and running by now.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it should be. And hopefully we've got some orders. I've got my fingers crossed. I know. Yes. Order our shirts. Buy our stuff. We only have three shirts to pick from right now. Just right now. It's a growing experience. It will evolve.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Hopefully. Yeah. Fingers crossed again. If you order. Anyway. Yes. You give us money, we'll give you more stuff. Yes. You pay, you you give us some mulas, we be we be creating more shit. It takes $50 to make me holla. So we have different colors to meet your needs. Uh we have all the sizes. Shit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01All the sizes.
SPEAKER_02Is that what I saw?
SPEAKER_01Yes. We we have all the sizes. Big ins. Order your shit. Yeah. Just order shit. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm gonna I'm gonna build TikTok posts. I'm gonna build Facebook posts.
SPEAKER_02All the socials.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And Reed is gonna have to be responsible for what is that one? Instaface. That's it. Um so yes, we will have this all ready to go this week because tomorrow I'm gonna be a responsible adult and get that done.
SPEAKER_02That is so cool. I'm so excited. I'm excited for you guys. Wear our stuff, yeah, buy our stuff, and and tell us what stuff we should create so that you'll buy.
SPEAKER_01So they don't have summer stuff up yet. Yep. So with Printifly. So we have t-shirts. Um we will probably, if things look good, we'll probably throw out some summer stuff if they if they throw some shit out there that we can do. All right, and we'll get there. Hugs, cuddles, and some very big kits. Big kickoff, so not always.