Get in the ride guys!!! PoePoe is coming!!

On this weeks installment of B Town Stories we delve into some run ins we’ve had with the fuzz over the years. John Law! The Coppers. We do not back the blue. I want to make that clear. We are however not criminals in any way whatsoever. And most cops around here have been pretty chill as you will hear on this episode. Good ol Dixie Cup Dean. Or Doggy Door Dean. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Welcome back, everybody. It's B Town Stories with Schnazzle and Jerry. I'm Schnazzle. Hey, I'm Little Jerry. And welcome back. Uh Josh, I should say I'm pretty impressed that little Jerry has stuck till this episode.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

God, for I'm in it for the long haul.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

You know? Like a whole week as little Jerry.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Yeah, little Jerry. I've been uh talking like a gang member at work and really scaring some co-workers, but I'm just this is my new persona.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

I love it, man. Fucking I I could get down with it. What else has been cracking?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Uh speaking of work.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

I love it. Give me I love the weekly update of your work stories. Um how's your boy Toilet?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Uh Toilet is going through some stuff right now. So she uh she moved out.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

So he only refers to his girlfriend as she and her. Like, I have no idea what her name is. Interesting. He's like, yeah, she moved out. I'm like, do you miss her? He's like, good riddance to her. And uh he's like, uh, you want to get an apartment together? And I was like, Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

Fucking toilet and food. Little Jerry and toilet.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Boy, would that be the odd couple? Um, I thought about it for a second just because, like, you know, no, no. I just I I really like John toilet. Yeah, but we're we're not gonna be uh cohabitating together anytime soon.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

I love it. So I had an interesting idea to pitch out to you two this week, Josh. And maybe I could get your marvelous insight from your um encyclopedic brain on what it was like dealing with the law here in Bremerton. Johnny Law. Um from the cops. Popo? Yeah, one time. Hop in the ride, guys. Popo's coming.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Yeah, you gotta you gotta fucking get out of there if you see fucking Popo rolling up. But uh yeah, I've had a few run-ins with the Popo over the years. It's been a while, but um it happened quite a bit, you know. Totally, me too. Um I I totally wax on that. I got a couple decent fucking encounters with the fuzz.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

I was always like one of those guys who thought I was smarter than the cops, which you're never catch me, copper. I've never been fully arrested. I've been detained a couple times. I've been pulled over in the back of like a couple cars, and one thing I would always do when uh we were just like pump kids rolling around B Town. Yeah, like they would pull us over and the cops would be behind us, and we were probably doing something bad, like throwing a cigarette butt out the window or something like that. But um, you know, my whole thing was I would look behind, and this particular time I'm thinking about, I was in the back seat and there was condensation on the window, and I would start to, in the condensation of the window, write the cops' license plate number of their car down. And they would be like, What are you doing? And I'm like, Well, I'm just keeping track of your you know, of your license plate in case you know something goes wrong here today, and I'll know who to call about. And that worked twice, dude. And really let go, yeah. I think I was rolling with the Elkies one time and like Jimmy and Alan.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Puck you, Jimmy and Alan. Just joking. Yeah. Um yeah, I had not something similar, but I do remember getting pulled over driving the most after stealing a bunch of car stereos, which all the equipment was in the back of the car. I I was coming off of Buckland onto Central Valley, almost made it home, and I California stopped. But it was like two something in the morning, so I was like, there's no cars. Yeah, and they're just out of nowhere. This fucking cop just like you got popped. Yeah, he fucking pulled me over and I tried something to get out of the ticket, and I had car insurance, but I told him that I didn't have car insurance, knowing that if I got a no insurance ticket, I could just send in my proof of insurance and not get a ticket, instead of getting a no stop ticket that I would actually have to pay for. So I just like diverted the attention from the no stop to the no insurance, knowing that I had the insurance and it totally worked.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Wow, that's a smooth move. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Uh but the whole time I'm like, I don't know how I came up with that idea. Whilst a fucking just this like huge pile of stereos in the back of my car, and he just shines, shines his light right on it and just just thinks nothing of it. There's like four dudes piled in the back of the poster, like two o'clock in the morning, bunch of bags of tools. Like fucking just gives me a no insurance ticket and tells me to be safe and head on home, you know.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

That's amazing. What did you ever have any close calls where you should have been arrested, but you were able to do uh besides that one, like a fight or like the cops coming to your house. I know that cops came to your parents' house a whole bunch.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

We got out of a ton of fucking Yeah, it would they just I just never got busted. Like fuck, I mean, there was the one time car stereos on a different occasion where I got possession of stolen equipment and actually ended up going to juvie, blah blah blah. Yeah, but they never actually arrested me. It was all after the fact because I violated my probation. And so I never aside from going to juvie for a week, I never actually went to the the real clink, but um I did I just got out of shit all the time. Like drunk driving. I'm not proud, dude.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

I me neither, like you know, I'm coming up on seven years sober. You are too, right? Yeah, and but like back in the day, it's a miracle.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

I never really so one time I'm driving from buttfuck Egypt, uh Shelton area with a bunch of my homies that were Belfarians, but they all lived in Bremerton, and we would go out to these parties out in the middle of the woods at this place called Log Jam, and it would just be like tons of fucking big old pickup trucks blasting Pantera, fucking with kegs on the back. And that's like Du Auto? No, it's like more this way, it's like between Shelton and Belfair, just out in the woods. Killer. But uh actually it was a lot of fun, and then the end of the night a bunch of friends would be fighting their friends, you know, over some some girl or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

There would be like 1.5 women to 20.6 guys.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Actually, I was shocked when I started hanging out with the Belfarians how great the ratios were.

SPEAKER_05 7:46

Really?

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Way more chicks than uh we had at our parties out here in the B Town.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

Damn, dude.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

But uh, so me and three of those dudes, Tony, Jason, and no, Bert wasn't there. It was me, Tony, and Jason. I think that was it. So it was me and these two other dudes, and we were coming all the way back to Bremerton at like three in the morning from drinking out of keger for hours. You know, I'm wasted. Yeah. Driving my uh my old cutlass that I got after the most or disappeared.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Uh wait, was that cutlass blue?

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Yeah, light blue.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

That was the one in the back. You were driving when I got pulled over and did that thing in the window.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_03 8:27

Yeah, I think so. It was up by on Pine Road, I recall.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Huh. I don't even remember that. I believe you. But uh yeah, that's the car I was driving.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Um anyway, got pulled over by State Patrol down by Deer Creek, um, just out of Shelton, and I'm just fucking wasted. And this is the first time I ever like had to go out and do a sobriety test.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

You had to do the one where you walked a lot.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Oh, yeah. I was fallen, and then he's like, oh, okay, till your head back, stretch your arms out to the side and touch your nose with your fingers. I'm like touching my ear, just like missing my whole face, you know, and fucking uh just totally failing. And I don't know how I had this fucking intuition to lie about where we were going. Yeah. And I knew that our friend Bert lived right up the road at Mason Lake, and I knew how to sneak into his house. So I was just like, oh, we're just going to my buddy Bert's up here, even though we were driving all the way back to B Town. And he's like, All right, well, I'll just follow you up there, make sure you get there okay, and then you guys have a good night, all right? And I was like, Are you fucking serious? And so anyway, he lets me go. We go to Bert's, break into his garage, and go make some frozen burritos. The cops wave, you know, and they drive off. We waited for like 45 minutes, the sun's coming up. I was like, all right, let's go. Just jumped in my car and bailed all the way back to B Town and unscathed.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

But you you also like have to think of cops. Don't want to do this extra work, right? Yeah, yeah. So it's like it's three in the morning, these guys are probably at the end of their shift. They're like, oh my god, do I want to bring these pieces of shit in? Yeah, yeah, like fill out all this paperwork. Yeah, they're probably looking for an out.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Yeah. You know? Yeah, and I gave them the out. I was like, hey, I'm just going right up here to the lake and going crashing at my buddy's house, and he was just like, all right, that's cool. I'll just you know follow you up. So that happened a couple times. Um drunk, drunk driving, getting pulled over and let go.

SPEAKER_03 10:39

Let me ask you this. Do any of our homies from high school are they are there, do we know any cops? I guess you can't tell we can't use their real names, though. Maybe we could use nicknames.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Uh, we'll call them pig one, pig two, pig three. Just joking. I respect the law. Actually, I really do. I'm yeah, total law abiding citizen here, but uh just joking around. But uh funky pig, a cap. Um but anyway, uh full cap. Uh no, I don't I don't know of anyone that's a cop that we hung out with. I know that there is people that we did go to high school that are cops, but they weren't like in our crew or anything.

SPEAKER_03 11:25

What were all the different police departments around here?

SPEAKER_01 11:28

So like there's kids out county sheriffs, Bremerton PD, Silverdale PD? No, it's not a city, it's not incorporated, so there's no actual police, it's just the sheriffs. Port Orchard has a police. Yes, yeah, yeah. Port Orchard and Ballsbo. That's pretty much it.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

Interesting. Then there's like Highway Patrol.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Yeah, Highway Patrol, they're everywhere. Um, and then like uh the forest cops.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Rangers? Are they called Forest Rangers? But uh yeah, so but I don't know anyone like close or personal that's uh the fuzz.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

Interesting. I wonder if Kevin L. Jones has any near run-ins with uh the cops.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

Well, look who the people I hung out with. Of course I did, man. Seriously. I mean, it's fucking B Town, yo. Like if you're not talking, if you're not running into a cop like by the time you're in middle school, you're doing something wrong. You ain't real B Town. Let's be real. I mean, honestly, uh, I mean, first I should know a lot of my worst run-ins where cops were actually in high school and college, you know. I I got a DUI when I was in college. I remember in high school when I was in the Tri-Cities, uh, I got busted drinking on top of a church. But and I knew it was totally stupid because it was right next to a main drag. But I was, and I'm not fucking kidding, I was with the hottest girl in high school. Like I was with the hottest girl. So I was just like, fuck it, it's worth it, you know. But uh no, and I wanted to note too that my um my sister's uh Alexis, her first husband, became a Washington State patrolman, which was a whole interesting uh process to watch him go from like uh he was he used to own he used to co-own Silverdale Cyclery. Uh hopefully if you guys remember that. Um but he was like growing weed in the backyard and stuff, but then realized this bike shit ain't paying the bills, so he decided to become a Washington State patrolman. So I watched him as he would get ready before uh taking the test, and he would be going, like, I have only smoked marijuana five times, and I have not done anything else. I have not smoked marijuana more than five times. Like he was doing the George Costanza stuff. Like, if you if you believe it enough, it's not a lie, you know? So he's just practicing his lies for the speech. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

So you have a legit record, Kevin. Oh yeah, the only thing I've ever been busted for is a minor in possession. Oh, and I've talked my way out of like four of those tickets. Oh, I almost got busted at the at the Kids County Mall for shoplifting in Sears. Oh yeah. Me too, not Sears. So yeah, so like, but I that's a mall cop. It's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like I was I remember I would like I stole something, I put it in my pocket. Maybe it was like a CD or a tape, you know? It was probably like around the whole like Nirvana Nevermind tape. I I stole like 10 of those tapes, or like an uh Allison Chain's facelift tape.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

And then I walked out, and then this dude just grabbed me. And I was like, oh shit. And then what my how I got out of that one was he brought me in the back, and I was just like, I can't get in trouble. And then he was like, I kind of placated him. He he took me back to the room with all the cameras, and I was like, oh my god, this technology is amazing. Really? You're so smart, dude. You know how to do cameras. He was like, Yeah, you know, I'm like, wow, you're a real important officer. This is are you going to join the FBI? This is incredible. Like, he's CIM. You know what? You seem like okay, kid. I'm gonna let you go today. You're amazing. Yeah. Did you give him a hand job, too? Yeah, but I was just like, you really seem like a top-tier cop. I don't know what you're doing in the mall. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

You know, Ryan discovers bootlicking.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Yeah, be a bootlicker. What about did you ever get popped for shoplifting? I never got arrested in trouble for it, but I've got caught a couple times.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

I got caught but escaped. I didn't actually well, I got caught by just someone working in the store, and I just I was stealing a can of spray paint, and then I was like, oh, this one here in my pocket, and I just threw it up in the air and they went to try to catch it, and like by the time they like dropped it or didn't drop it or whatever, and got their bearings and looked around, I was fucking gone, dude. I like didn't go back to the mall for like years after that. Years was I with you for that? I don't know. I feel like you might have been.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Well, dude, I know Robbie and Phil were with us. Okay, so you probably were you with me the time when we were jacking chromies in Silverdale in those apartments kind of by the mall.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

Uh, but like this guy caught us uh stealing chromies and like red-handed, like I had like 40 chromies in my hand, you know? And he was like, You guys are in big trouble. It might have been Robbie too. Yeah, I don't know. Some of the fucking Robbie's a horrible influence, you know. But like uh so he's just like he was like, You guys stay right here. I'm calling the cops. Oh, yeah, we're gonna stay. Yeah, and then I remember there's one minute we looked at each other and we're just like, fuck this, just jammed and just like ran into the woods. Like, get back here.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

That's uh a scene in Super Bad. I think they stole it from you.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Yeah, something like that. I know that that mall scene of you throwing up in the air, might as well have been like a comedy movie. Like, seriously. Oh, but I was gonna add, so later, so uh Jonathan, that was his name, he actually did become a Washington State patrolman. And here is the thing they get he gave my sister a bear sticker that he put on the back of his car. Oh and that signaled to all the other Washington State patrolmen that she was the wife of a Washington State patrolman, and so you shouldn't pull her over. Oh, do you have a picture of this? I know Alexis still had it. I even just talked with her about it. She still had it. I want the bear stickers. I want the bear stickers too. Something to know. But yeah, no, like all my words shut was later. Um, but like uh um I remember though there was two times that I had a run in with cops that really kind of just you know, like, you know, you have these moments where you've been told something this entire time, and then you see something like really bad. You see like something that just changes your whole reality about it. And I had two times with that with police. The first time was uh, and you know, this isn't that funny, but I'll make so I'll make it quick. But one time my dad choked me out. He literally choked me out. Damn, and I got so scared. I called my friend, and he talked with his mom, and his mom just called like a parental abuse line, and they automatically called the cops. And my dad was so mad about that. But here's the thing he just told the cop, he was just like, Yeah, it was all his fault. And pointed to me the little kid, you know? Yeah, yeah. And the cop is like, he's like wagging his finger at me, and I just want to be like, fuck you, you know. But the other time was me and Chuck McAvoy, we did the usual route of going up uh Winters Road and then going through Esquire Hills over to Brownsville. Uh, and we were in the backyard, like, or in the in the you know, like we were out of elementary school, but you know, this is pre-internet, you're bored as hell, so you're going to like your old schools and stuff like that. So we went there and like Chuck, of course, being Chuck at the time, was like, I could break into the school. You want to see me do it? Like, oh, okay. And he literally picked the lock and he was like walked to the school. And I'm like, I don't need to go back in there, but that's pretty impressive. But then as we were saw uh hanging out, we saw some other friends of ours from uh Fairview Middle, and uh we were talking with them, and then these cops show up and they're like, Well, we've gotten some calls about what's going on here, what's going on, you know? And like we're just talking to this one cop, you know, and like he was like, I'm I'm gonna write you guys up. Like, I'm gonna I'm gonna call your parents. Like, you guys shouldn't be here. This is trespassing and stuff. Uh, do you guys have anything in your ID? And like, literally, one of my friends was with me, he reached into his pocket to like pull him out something, and the cops like pushed him. And we're talking like the kid no older than 12. And he just smashed him into this fence and he goes, Don't you fucking do that! Don't you do that? I've been stabbed by kids younger than you. And it's like, I love it. So I had to, yeah. Oh, I was just gonna say then I had to go home and tell my dad, like, which was very scary for me. Like, I had to talk to the cops. We were they were just around there, they might be giving you a call. But he didn't even like look away from the TV. He like he just didn't give a shit, and then uh, yeah, and never got a call or anything either. But seeing that cop push that, like, my kid, you know, for just like reaching to grab something for him was just so disturbing to me, you know.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

That's crazy. Did you guys ever have any like cool cops do some cool shit for you?

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Well, I was just gonna say, like, the only time they were always cool to me. I don't know what it was, like multiple break up the party cops, you know, that were just like, man, I use it's you know, it's like that cop in fucking Dixie Cup Dixie Cup backdoor backdoor dean or whatever from the stone age. Like, they were always like that. And like there was one time uh me and boy were like, oh, we need some Taco Bell. It's like three in the morning.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Oh, dude, that's always like the biggest fucking decision ever. It's like three in the morning, you're so goddamn hungry. Do you roll the dice to go get fast food?

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Well, I was like, I'll go, but you should drive. So I tossed Chris the keys and he drove my mom's Dodge Daytona. Remember that red one? Dude, I've driven that drunk a couple times. And uh so we're we go up, we got our taco bill, and we're coming back right in front of where uh the McWilliams Safeway is. Whoop, they lit us up. And Chris got a DUI. Is that his first one? Uh it was third, I think.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

Dude, that guy fucking so many his might go to death row.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

It's like eight strikes, and you're he's got more than anyone I know. No, that's for sure. But uh anyway, so like the cop just starts talking to me and he's like, Cause your ID, you know, and I was like, Yeah, and he's like, uh, I gives me I give him the ID and he's like, Oh, Kennedy, huh? You listen to the dead Kennedys?

SPEAKER_03 22:13

I was like, Oh, look, yeah, you're your music taste is awesome, officer. That's basically what I did.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

I was like, Oh, yeah, all my friends call me dead Kennedy. And just a little side note, I literally have the DK logo tattooed on my arm, very small, just because of that story. Because my friends call me Dead Kennedy. But he just like, he's like, You need a ride home, DK? I was like, I was like, Yeah, sure. So he just crazy later, Chris, have funny jail. Yeah, he just gave me a ride home. But uh the only time I could think of that I was ever like in a situation where I might get hauled off to the hooscow. Yeah, like I was an adult at this point and a father at this point. So Mia was like probably one year old, I think. And I was just like, honestly, I had the worst toothache I've ever had ever in my life. It's actually the first toothache I've ever had uh in my life. And I was just got off the late shift at QFC. I just started in the grocery biz. It's like 23 years, oh, a little over 23 years ago, and uh it's like two days before Christmas Christmas, and it's gonna be the only opportunity that I have to get to the mall to buy me as Christmas presents. And I'm crew we lived over by uh Kitsap Lake at the time, and I'm cruising Chico Way and got pulled over, and I was so angry. I was in the worst pain. I had no time, I had to get there, and he's like holding me up. And uh I fucking punched the rear view mirror and he f and it split, it shattered the whole windshield on my car. Oh my god, and he just grabs his gun, he's like, Do I need to call back up Mr. Kennedy? I was like, just like fucking freaking out, and I was like, No, no, I'm calm, I'm calm. Like, so I had to just like take some deep breaths, you know. I was like, I got a fucking toothache, and he's like, Oh, and he he kind of understood, but that was the only time it was ever like kind of a dangerous situation, you know. But I definitely shattered the windshield, but he wouldn't let me drive. So I had to call my buddy Tony, and he came and picked me up and uh left the car there. But that was a run-in with a cop, nothing bad happened from it except for I had to get a new windshield.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

That's great, that's cool. Uh I have like that there was actually a cop that saved me from other cops once, and it was pretty awesome. He was like a fucking hero cop. Like, I was at Central, I did a uh semester at Central, and that we would just get I'd just go get pissed drunk. Obviously, you're in college, you're just getting wasted. And I just had the munchies, and all like the rotunda was closed and shit. It was like, you know, uh and me and you both worked at pizza places before. Yeah. So I would always go in and be like, hey, you got any old pizzas that nobody picked up, you know? And I walked into this pizza joint, I think it was like a Domino's, and I saw a bunch of pizzas on the you know, on top of the oven. The pizza oven. Yeah, that's where you put them, keep them warm. Yeah, so I was like, hey man, uh, just like falling over, and I was like, Can I get, you know, like you got any old pizzas you're gonna throw out? You know, I used to work at pizza place, and and this guy was just like, wait here a sec. And I I was obviously drunk, but it dawned on me after like five minutes. He this guy's calling the cops because I'm drunk and underage, and that's exactly what he did. So he called like the Ellensburg local cops, the campus cops come out, and as I was leaving, they pulled me aside and they were like, Come with us, you're going to you're in trouble. Yeah, you know, you've been drinking, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, no. And they're like, You're obviously drunk. So they pulled me aside, and um, they're gonna like take me to jail. And an actual cop pulls up and gets out and he goes, What's going on here? to the campus cops. And uh I was like, officer, they're they're detaining me for nothing. And they're like, Is that true, guys? So he was like my hero. He reprimanded the cops and like let me go. And I was like, This guy's my fucking hero.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

That reminds me of that scene in Boys in the Hood where uh those older mean gangster guys steal fucking Ricky's football and then they're gonna take it. But then that the elder gangster guy goes, Hey, give that little N-word the ball back. And they're like, I want to keep this ball. He's like, Give him the fucking ball back.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

That's what I mean. Yeah, totally. Well, so as a journalist, I used to see the way other side of the cops. You know, I used to go on ride-alongs and stuff and let the cops really open up, you know. One of my favorite times was uh talking to a cop from the Richmond police who's actually became the their uh PR officer. Um, but he was telling me, he was like, Yeah, one of my favorite things to do is to confiscate fireworks and just go down and set them off. And so one time I went down to the port, I was just like, I thought it was an M80. Uh no, it turned out to be dynamite, it went off. You know, people are calling it and stuff. I just had to be like, no, everything's cool. I'm down here, everything's fine.

SPEAKER_03 27:19

That's hilarious. Yeah. Oh, go on. Oh no, speaking of dynamite, like you know, like around here in our neighborhood, there's always like an explosion or like an M80. And then on the like the neighborhood app, people are just like, does anybody know what that was? And I'm just like, every time, like, nobody ever knows what it is. Just let it go. It's fine. Nothing's burning. Nobody knows. It was either a firework or a gunshot. It was one of the two, so or a backflip. Stop asking.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Yeah, exactly. Oh, I remember, all I mean, I remember uh uh around uh Josh's neighborhood, uh I had a friend named uh David John who uh taught me how to make napalm, and we would just like see how big of a fire we could get in the street and see you know how fast the firefighters would come. But yeah, punk rock cops, like ex-punk rock cops, like are such a common thing. Like I remember like playing a show in a bus in Oakland, and the cops showed up and like I gotta shut this down. He's like, Oh, we're just having a punk rock show. And he's like, I used to be a punk rocker, I love verbal abuse. Yeah, no, no, just move it down a block. It's cool, it's cool, you know, just keep it going. But the but the the number one, which was like, okay, maybe cops can be cool story for me was uh when I was in high school, my friend got married very early. He was, you know, white trash and uh, you know, was was ready to get laid. And so he's he's just diving in so he he get that uh get that uh Poon nanny. And uh he was uh so he set up a bachelor party, and it was actually the day after uh my junior high, uh like or not my junior high, like junior graduation, you know, like our last year my junior, and so there was a party there, and that was shitty, but we still had all this leftover beer and stuff. So we brought it to this bachelor party, and it was in this house, and we knew strippers were coming, and we're like, oh, this is cool. And there's this guy just sitting there making margaritas, and he's like, You want some margaritas? So like, fuck yeah, hell yeah, you know, and like I had brought weed with me and like all you know, some natty ice, you know, like I was all ready to go to see some strippers, and uh, and then I turned to my friend who had was hosting it and was like, oh dude, so do you think the cops will come? Like, do you do you have any worry? And and he goes, The cops are already here, man. And it was the guy making the margaritas, and and he was so he's like, Yeah, no, I'm a cop. Don't worry about it, man. I got you. And uh, and he like I literally I sold weed in front of him, and he was like, I don't want to see it, I don't want to see you doing that. And then later, when the strippers came, and we're we're all underage, dude. We were all like 15, 16, 17, and the cop is just going, I'm a cop, all these guys are of age, it's all cool, just let it happen, you know? And truly, as at that age, you're like, Yeah, greatest night of my life. Greatest night of my life.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Did he try to touch your privates later?

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Uh sounds like the precursor to some private touching caps.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Yeah, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Maybe you blocked it out because you were having such a good time and you didn't want it.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

I mean, I was like, I mean, we had privates in our faces. We were thinking about, you know, the other. How big was it?

SPEAKER_03 30:46

Oh man. Well, uh, I think that was a wonderful waxage on the long arm of the law here in Bremerton, boys.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

Uh, I'd just like to reiterate that, you know, we're all law-abiding citizens. We're just waxing on nostalgic times uh growing up in our hood here. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

Um we're all neighborhood watch. Yeah. I think cops deserve all the overtime they get. You know, if they if they need that overtime, just rack it up, boys. Just go for it, man. Pay for those college tuitions, man.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Love it, man. Well, I think that's a good time to pinch this loaf off, gentlemen. Yeah, pinch it off like a turd. Exactly. That's the that was the uh metaphor I was trying to make. I just wanted to clarify for any uh delay person out there. I was never getting it, so I'm so glad you explained it. Anyways, thanks for joining us for another wonderful episode of ETAS stories with Schnazzle and Jerry and Kevin L. Jones. I'm Schnazzle. And I'm little Jerry.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Take her easy. B Town Stories is a red cobra production, created, produced, and written by Schnazzle Simpkins and Jerry Lagar. Also produced by Kevin L. Jones, with theme song by the supple dongs and logo design from Darren Chalman.