Diamond Defense Podcast: Ep. 03 – Destination

In this episode of Diamond Defense, Lisa and Kellie explore how destination — where you’re headed, how you move, and the energy you project — can be a powerful tool for self-defense. Guest Jessica shares two gripping stories from her time in Paris, when trusting her instincts and using her voice helped her escape being followed. Learn how awareness, confidence, and purpose can shift the balance of power and keep you safe, whether you’re traveling abroad or moving through everyday spaces.

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Show Notes
Co-Host and Co-Producer: Lisa
Co-Host and Co-Producer: Kellie

Guest Storyteller
Jessica

Special Thanks
Ann Cobb, Kelley Ogden

Music
Music courtesy of Melodie Music.
Melodie Music Subscription: Pro Plan, Lifetime

Title: Fighter; Composers: Klotz Christina Elyse Panchal
https://melod.ie/track-details/3300-fighter

Title: On The Dot; Composers: Nesci Daniel Joshua 50%, Ellery Michael Brandon 50%
https://melod.ie/track-details/5479-on-the-dot

Pixabay

Title: Emotional Love – Romance in France; Artist: Sonican
Emotional Love - Romance in France | Royalty-free Music - Pixabay
https://pixabay.com/music/acoustic-group-emotional-love-romance-in-france-313445/

Sound Effects
SoundSnap (pro subscription)

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Transcript

Theme Music: I am a fighter. Checking my armor. I'm marching onward. Hey Hey.

Jessica: So, my fight or flight was definitely in full beast mode at this point when we got to the next platform, and that was definitely gonna be the train that took us to our home station. And I thought, if I don't end this now, he's going to follow us all the way home.

Kellie: Lisa, my partner in not crime, in our last episode, we got into confidence, not just the feeling, but how it can actually be a tool for self-protection.

Lisa: Absolutely. And today we're gonna focus on another key part of self-defense, which is destination. I know it sounds weird, but where you're headed, how you're getting there, and the energy that you're putting out as you move through the world affects how other people perceive you.

Kellie: Yeah. And destination's not just a spot on a map, right? I mean, it's about intention. When you move with purpose, like you've got somewhere to be. As in, I am going to get that breakfast burrito after my morning walk, and I will not be hindered by your assholery, you butthead. You send a message, I'm alert. I'm in control. I'm not an easy target, and sometimes, Lisa, honestly, from what I've learned from you and your self-defense class and just in life in general, that message alone is enough to stay in charge of our safety.

Lisa: That's totally right. And look, it's not just how we walk, right? Destination shows up in a lot of different things. In how we speak, in how we plan, even how we fooled ourselves when we get that feeling that something's not right. Um, it's the third theme in our short film, “Three Things,” right alongside number one, awareness and number two, confidence. So, today we're gonna touch a little bit on how destination shaped the film, but even more we're gonna talk about how it shows up in real life and in real moments.

Kellie: And that brings us to our guest today. Please give us the Jessica scoop.

Lisa: Well, Jessica's story is pretty powerful. Um, she's had some experiences where she's had to figure out how to move with purpose, how to hold her ground, use some distraction tactics, uh, how to draw boundaries, and understanding that the message she was sending with her presence made someone think twice and kept her safe.

Kellie: I cannot wait to hear her story. And like always, in addition to the story, we're here to break it down. What instincts kicked in, what decisions mattered? And how can you listeners use that info in your own lives?

Lisa: Because look, even if you don't have a destination, it's about portraying, that you do. And understanding what that communicates to someone else. Like I always say, right, predators are cowards, and they don't want complications.

Lisa: So, if they think you have somewhere to be and you're gonna be missed quickly, they're less likely to target you because it means someone's going to be looking for you.

Kellie: If they think someone's waiting for you, they're less likely to follow. But picture this, you're on your way home, a crowded station, a quiet street, a stairwell, an escalator. You catch the same eyes… again, a face in the crowd, someone crowding your shadow. Close and closer. You second guess yourself. You tell yourself it's nothing a coincidence, but what if it's not?

Kellie: What do you do when the exit signs feel too far away? This is Jessica's story.
Public Announcement: You are approaching the exit. Please remain aware of your surroundings.

French Announcement: Vous approchez de la sortie. Veuillez rester attentifs à votre environnement. (English translation: You are approaching the exit... Please remain aware of your surroundings.)

Jessica: Hi, I’m Jessica, and I am a writer and performer, and I have lived a lot of different places in my life, and so as you can imagine, I have some stories about myself being in some interesting situations.

[Flight Attendant Sounds]

Jessica: Um, so in 2014, I lived in Paris with my husband Joshua, and uh, he was going to school there and I was on a visitor visa and, uh, we were… were about to go home, actually. We'd been out in the city sort of wandering around.

[Metro Sounds]

Jessica: We were in the metro station, and we had to take multiple lines to get home. Um, 'cause the metro's, the, the underground train, like the subway, um, in Paris.

[Metro PA Sounds]

Jessica: And we were on one train. Um, and I noticed a young man who had been on the train car with us, um, on the… the first part of the journey. And I notice everybody around me most of the time. I just… I've always been vigilant like that, but I also liked people watch, so I was aware of… of his presence.

[Train door sounds]

Jessica: And especially when we got off that train and we were on the platform at the next sort of exchange point, and I noticed him standing near us and that wasn't initially a sort of red flag for me just because there are lots of people going the same direction, especially in such a populated city like Paris.

Jessica: Lots of people live in the same neighborhoods. That's not unusual. But, um, he was standing close enough to us on the metro platform. Um, and mind you, this is underground, so it's already a little bit claustrophobic if you're, uh, prone to that like I am. And I just… I noticed that he was standing close to us, that he had also gotten off the train and was now waiting for the exact same train we were. And I thought, okay, fine.

Jessica: Then we changed trains at another station. So, we, we take that train, we go to our next stop again to change trains, to be on our way home, and I noticed that he got off the train with us as well again. And by this point I was starting to think, I realized that this could absolutely be a coincidence, but because he was so… standing so close to us every time, and he, I think I noticed that he sort of had us… he… his head was noticing where we were, if that makes sense.

Jessica: He was… he was following us with his eyes in as much as I could notice it a… a little bit. Um, and so I thought, okay. If this is in fact happening, if we are being followed, which maybe we're not, but if we are, I decided instead of just going on about our business, I decided to do the stop and tie shoe trick, which, um, I had already mentioned to Joshua, there's a young man, he might be following us. I might be paranoid, but he was already aware. So, when I stopped to tie my shoe, Joshua stopped with me because that's, you know, part of the… the ruse. And the young man passed us and actually continued up because in Paris the, um, metro stations, some have like huge flights of stairs, escalators are multiple platforms that you have to get to all the way through a station. It's quite a lot of walking. And this young man, um, passed us and went up the giant staircase to the next part of the platform where we were also eventually heading. And, um, I thought, okay, great. He didn't follow us. Excellent. So then we start walking again after I've gotten up, after pretending to tie my shoe and we get to the very top of the stairs, this very long staircase, and who is waiting at the top, but the young man, and he was clearly waiting for us because he was watching, he was looking down the stairs, apparently, waiting for us to round the corner and come up the staircase.

Jessica: And I thought, well, crap. So, my instinct was probably right. So, then I'm thinking. I kind of don't know what else to do at this point because we do still have to go home, but I also don't want him to know where we live. So, I run my metro ticket, like trying to get through to the next platform. 'cause you have to go through the turnstiles.

Jessica: And now the young man is directly behind me going through the turnstile practically at the same time, which was terrifying. And he's not saying anything, which I think was also a little bit scary because I thought, okay, if you're this bold that you're gonna be tailing us. Specifically, me, directly behind me going through the turnstiles, but you're also not saying anything.

Jessica: I… I expected some sort of, I don't know, come on or… or comment something. But he was silent, which was very disconcerting. When he got that close, I realized this is somebody without the same level of either personal space or there's a boldness to this person. That scares me because you've already followed me.

Jessica: You've already noticed that I've noticed you because the stopping to tie my shoe trick, obviously he waited for us, and we saw him waiting for us at the top of the stairs. So, we've noticed that he's doing something irregular. So then still being bold enough to stand that close to us, I thought, okay. What is your end game?

Jessica: Is it something physical? Are you waiting to pull a knife? Touch me, do like, there's clearly something that physical proximity is important to whatever he was planning, and I didn't know. I had no idea, obviously if he was planning anything or if he was what it was, but I didn't wanna find out by just sort of continuing to do the cat and mouse game.

Jessica: So, my fight or flight was definitely in full beast mode at this point when we got to the next platform, and that was definitely gonna be the train that took us to our home station. And I thought, if I don't end this now, he's going to follow us all the way home. And because French is not my first language, I was trying to desperately think, what could I say?

Jessica: The idea of yelling to draw attention definitely was first and foremost in my mind. If you're willing to be this close to me and I yell at you, what are you gonna do? Because it's going to force an issue. And I finally just wheeled around on him 'cause he had followed us all the way up to the platform to wait for the train.

Jessica: And he was standing right next to me, and I finally just yelled at him, "Plus loin!", which means farther away in French. And so I, and I really like pointed really hard and I flung my arm out just saying, "Plus loin! Plus loin!", just screaming at him and he like went chalk white and fled. It could also be the sort of showing how much I was willing to not be quietly victimized by being loud, and also, I think it was important for me to yell at him in French because I still, I don't know if he was a native French speaker. He may not have been. But the idea that you're not just following a tourist who doesn't know her way around and might not speak the language and so is like extra vulnerable, like, no, no, no, no, no. I speak your language enough at least to know how to say, go away, and I'm willing to use it when I need to.

Jessica: So, I think it was those various steps of trying to initiate like what, what's gonna happen next, but also do know that you're dealing with somebody who's willing to be loud, and I'm not a short person, so I'm like, I am a tall, strong human who is now yelling at you and showing you that you cannot just scare me.

Jessica: I was very proud of myself for actually being able to figure something else out that could be a deterrent because I was not prepared to physically necessarily defend myself. I didn't know what he was planning. I just knew I needed him to know that I notice you. It's not okay. I am capable of being loud and drawing attention to the fact that you are perpetrating odd behavior, and thankfully it worked, and he booked it out of there and we went home safely.

Kellie: The first time, Jessica wasn't alone. She had her partner, she had a plan. She found her voice, but this time, no backup, no buffer, just her, glass walls, and a gut feeling that wouldn't shut up. I've been there. So many of you have. Too many of us will. You sense the shift, the two casual glance, the man just a little too close… again. Jessica is still in Paris, but in your story, this could be anywhere for you.

Kellie: Disneyland, an airport. Farmer's market, a chase, a silence that screams, “Don't trust this moment.” Wherever it was or is or will be. You just know. And that knowing? That's power. You don't need permission to protect yourself. You don't need to wait until it's bad enough. Jessica wasn't followed into the shadows. She was chased into the every day. And Jessica takes us there.

Jessica: Again, living in Paris in 2014, um, I was at the giant underground shopping mall called Les Halles, um, in the middle of Paris. It's a wonderful place if you ever get to go there. It's all the shopping you could ever want underground. But I was by myself, which I often actually did when we lived there. I would go on adventures by myself in the city because it's very easy to get places.

Jessica: So, I was perusing in a store, um, and because I'm aware of people around me, um, I saw the other couple of customers in the store and a man approached, I was looking at something on a rack and he approached me and talked to me about, um, sort of, what a deal the piece of clothing was. He was like feeling the shirt that I had been looking at and was obviously standing quite close to me to have the conversation and I thought, okay. He didn't work there.

Jessica: I could tell he didn't have any sort of, you know, identifying, um, employee, uh, clothing on. And I thought, okay, you know, maybe he's just trying to spark a conversation, whatever. That's fine. And I just, again, because I was in France and French is not my first language, I didn't necessarily engage in conversation both because I didn't have a whole lot to say in not my native language, but also I thought, that's a little strange that you're approaching me and talking to me about this thing and you don't work here.

Jessica: Okay. So, I just moved off and, and looked at something else, uh, in the store and he followed me, and I thought, okay, my instinct is telling me. Let's leave, let's… let's put some distance between me and this man. Uh, so I did, I left the store, um, and then I went into the next store. And notice the man following me and he was now joined by a second man.

Jessica: Um, and they talked to each other right before they walked into the store and they walked, followed me into the store. Um, and I could see them clocking me over the racks. And I thought, uh oh, nope. Definitely being followed. Not okay. Not okay. Um, I think at first, because I wasn't 100% sure that I was going to be followed, I thought, okay.

Jessica: First, I don't wanna be rude 'cause if they're not, and I'm just being paranoid, I don't wanna be seen like I’m running away from somebody and they absolutely had no intention to be weird. But so, I… I tried to sort of strike the balance between getting the hell outta that store, that first store and also being like, if I'm imagining things, I'm going to take a leisurely pace as though I'm just a normal shopper and nothing is amiss and just go to go about my day.

Jessica: When I realized that yes, in fact I was being followed and a second person had joined, which absolutely raised the stakes in my head 'cause I thought, oh, I'm outnumbered now. That's not good. Um, this also looks planned this way, too. The fact that there was a second person, I thought, this isn't just a random man coming up to a girl in a store and being like, "Hey, let's talk."

Jessica: It was, oh my gosh, you have a friend who knew where to meet you. And now you're both following me. Great. So, my pace sped up, um, especially because when I would go out of one store and go to the next store and I didn't necessarily just go straight down the line and go store to store. 'Cause I thought, well, that would be obvious if you were trying to find someone.

Jessica: I tried to get from one store to the next one as fast as possible so that they couldn't follow my path. And panic was starting to seep in a little bit because I thought, okay, I'm by myself, but also, I'm in a very large shopping mall, and on the one hand it means, okay, I could probably lose them if I ducked into enough places, but at the same time.

Jessica: I'm alone and don't know anybody in this very large place. Um, and people might not notice that I'm suddenly gone. I think because it was apparent that I was just spending my time. I wasn't with anyone. I didn't appear to be meeting anyone because also this was... I had a cell phone, but I wasn't on it a lot, and so it didn't necessarily look like I was planning to meet up with someone.

Jessica: So, all of those sort of signals to someone looking to be nefarious, they could tell that I was unattached, not being connected, not watched by anybody else. I hadn't checked in with anybody, even by phone to sort of say, "Oh, I'm in this store. I'm in that store. I'll be home in 10 minutes." I… nothing like that.

Jessica: So, they could probably tell if they were paying attention. So, I thought, okay, I need to lose them. I need to find a different place to go. And this sort of hide and seek game lasted through several stores because every time I ducked into one, I thought, okay, they're not gonna follow me. They'll realize that I've noticed that they're following and they're going to, you know, leave… leave the trail. Um, so that they don't draw attention to themselves being as nefarious as they seemed, but they did not stop. So finally, um, one of the stores, I finally got the… the idea, okay, if you're not visible, because the storefronts all had glass, um, windows all along the front.

Jessica: So, it was this long corridor of shops. And the main corridor is how you accessed all the shops. But all of the windows were all along this corridor. And so, if you were outside in the corridor, you could look through the windows and see whoever was in the… each store. And that's how they had found me each time.

Jessica: Every time I changed stores, I could see them outside the window in the corridor tracing my path and looking in the window to see if they could see me in whatever the next store was. I think part of their game was that they were not standing close enough to me to definitely not to physically touch me, they were just at a distance enough that potentially if they'd been confronted, they could have said, "Oh, no, no, we're just in the store."

Jessica: So it wasn't as, I guess, how would you say, as terrifying as if they had been really, really close, but it meant that by having that distance, just enough distance, that every time I left a store I thought, oh, this is great, because I put enough distance between us because they weren't hot on my heels. They would wait just long enough for me to have left the one store for them to not be seen immediately following me, but they would time it so that they would be in the corridor looking through the window of whatever the next store was so that they could see me just as I was a little bit into the store. So, I thought if I can go fast enough into the next doorway, maybe they won't see where I've gone, and I can shake them that way. Um, but unfortunately the glass windows made that not work because they could see me even if I had not had them straight on my heels, uh, they… they definitely could see through the window. So, when I finally realized this was how they were following, the final store before, uh, before the chase ended, I went all the way back to the store, the very back of the store. I walked straight, just made a beeline as far back from the window as I possibly could because I thought if they can't see me, then they won't know which store I'm in, and maybe they'll finally probably like shake them off my trail.

Jessica: So that's what I did. I could see them actually through the window, um, look into this particular store, look around, try and see me. I also realized because I'm a tall person, that I needed to be A) further back in the store so that it was harder to see with the reflection and everything, but also to be behind some merchandise so that it wasn't quite so easy to notice my tall, large head poking out over the racks.

Jessica: So, that's why the last time I finally went all the way to the back, because I thought if they're banking on the fact that I am sort of at the front and easily visible, that's how they're gonna know where I am. Whereas if I basically hide, hopefully that will be enough to deter them and make them give up the game.
Jessica: And it was, I have no idea what the merchandise even was in that last store because I was not interested at all. Um, I just knew that if I stayed there long enough and looked enough like I was perusing at that point, I didn't really care if the shopkeeper was like, what are you doing in here? Why have you been in here for 35 minutes?

Jessica: Um, 'cause I probably at that point would've said, you know, I've been followed, or I'm scared or figured out how to say something. But no, I stayed in there for a good, at least half an hour. Um, also making sure that I didn't see them walk back the other direction. So, I was trying to also keep track of their movements if I could.

Jessica: I just kept staring out that front window. That finally shook them. Um, I don't know if they just got tired of the chase or if they really did think that they'd lost track of me, I'm not sure. But when I finally left the store, I took a completely different route than the way I'd gotten there. So that hopefully if they were sort of loitering along the path that we had been traversing, that I wouldn't cross paths with them again.

Jessica: But I was also then very aware of any of the paths I took to get out when I was finally done for the day, um, I made sure that I went to the path where there were the most people and because there were lots of corridors all over this shopping center, I just made sure that every time I went down one that there were lots of other people walking that corridor.

Jessica: That was definitely a time where, again, because French is not my first language, I thought, Okay, what would I have done? Because I was thinking, I need to go up to one of these shopkeepers and say something I don't know these men, they're following me. And I thought, okay, how do I say that in French and the entire way home, because I didn't actually see them for the rest of the day, so I'd clearly successfully shaken them. I thought, if this ever happens again and or if I could replay this scenario and actually go get help from an employee or something, what would I have said to be understood? Would I have said, I don't know these men, they're following me. I feel like I'm in danger and trying to actually think of all those words so that they would be at the ready in case I ever needed them again. Hopefully not, but uh, now they would be in my brain in case I ever needed to use them again.

Kellie: Wow. Lisa, we just listened to Jessica share her experience with destination, and the thing that just really stood out to me is she's in a country that she didn't grow up in too, and she is, uh, surrounded by a language that's not her native language, and she still found a way to protect herself and keep herself safe. And it's all because of destination. And she knew where she was going, and she knew that it mattered. She had a place to go. Right? 
Lisa: Yeah. I think, you know, the interesting thing is that, uh, destination played a part differently, uh, in each of her stories. Right. So, in the first story where they were followed on the underground, is that what she called it? No.

Kellie: The metro.

Lisa: The metro. I… I… I don't know Europe trains at all. Um, the metro, you know, the idea was– they had an obvious destination. They were obviously on their way somewhere. That may have been why they were being targeted. He was trying to follow them to where they lived potentially for who knows what reason. Um, who wants to know. But that destination was sacrosanct to them. They needed that destination to remain, uh, a secret from this person who was targeting them. And so, right.

Lisa: So that's why she made that decision, uh, to wheel around and confront him because as she put it, right, if he gets– if he follows us on this train, that's it. He's going to… he's gonna know where we live. And so… so it was interesting in terms of how destination played a role in that story in so far as her needing to not have that revealed and that being sort of the… the motivating factor for her confronting this person.

Lisa: And then in the second story, um, in the... I'm not even gonna try and pronounce the word, but in the un... underground shopping center in Paris, when she, because she did not have a destination, because she very obviously was meandering, wasn't walking with purpose, um, didn't seem like she was meeting up with somebody, didn't seem like somebody was waiting for her.

Lisa: Uh, that is most likely why they targeted her. And when she began to realize she was being targeted, right, she made some adjustments to the way that she was moving, the way that she was carrying herself throughout space. Um, and she didn't, as she put it, she didn't wanna run away. Um, for whatever reason that was, she just changed her pace and her purpose and… and had to get a little smarter than they were. You know, which isn't hard with predators most of the time. Um, but yeah, so I love that that destination played a different role in each of those stories.

Kellie: Kind of, you know, also something that struck out to me, uh, like travelers, if you're traveling and you're going to a foreign country where the language you natively speak is not spoken there.

Kellie: She had mentioned like how she asked herself, how do I ask for help? So, I think it's really a good plan. Hey, if you're listening and you're traveling somewhere where you know the language that you grew up speaking is not the language that's spoken predominantly, maybe have a game plan, have a few phrases, right, Lisa, to just like ask for help or tell people to stop, like–

Lisa: Yeah, I wrote that down while we were talking to her, because that's such a great pro tip. Um, safety tip for women. If you are traveling to a foreign country where English is not the, uh, spoken language or the primary language, um, you better come equipped with at least three phrases. Uh, I think that's what she had decided to equip herself with after that experience, um, that in that… in the native language, because if you need help and you need to ask somebody for help, you gotta know how to communicate with them. I think that is such a great, uh, experience to share with people that we can learn from.

Kellie: Yeah. There's different ways you could do it, you know, depending on whatever your native language is and where you're going. Even if you can't memorize how to say it, have printed cards out that just at least you can hand somebody that says, I need help, or call the police, or, you know, whatever. Just being prepared.

Lisa: Absolutely. And important to just note that the word no is pretty universally recognized. In any language.

Kellie: Yeah.

Lisa: Right. Um, so if you've got nothing else, if you can say no to the person who you think may be targeting you loudly enough and forcefully enough so that it can bring attention and eyes and ears around you, um, most times that will be recognized as a distress signal.

Kellie: Yeah. And to tie this kind of into our first two episodes and the short film, you produced "Three Things," she kind of embodied all three in this… in this story.

Lisa: In like the best ways possible. Um, you know, the awareness in both stories, it, she's obviously someone who practiced that, um, for many years and it just kind of comes natural to her. 'Cause like she said, she's a people watcher. Um, and so she has that awareness of people in her surroundings and sort of clocking what they're doing. And so that's the first step, right? That's the very first thing that helps keep us safe is awareness. And that's why it was our first episode and that's why it's number one of the three things, right?

Lisa: And then the confidence piece of it, um, especially in that first story about the, the metro, uh, having the confidence to be able to wheel around on that guy and go ahead and just confront him verbally. Absolutely helped ameliorate that situation and helped to keep her safe. Um, it was beautiful how all, all three things sort of played out.

Lisa: And then of course, we… we already talked about destination and how that, uh, how that happened as well. You know, she used in… in the… in the con… confronting of the person who was following her in the metro. I teach that of all the weapons that we have on our bodies and, uh… my physical defense mindset is a weapon-to-target mindset.

Lisa: We all have weapons on our bodies, and we all have targets on our bodies. And if we learn what our weapons are and we learn what the targets are, we can get a… we can get a weapon to a target, and that's our mindset and it's as simple as that. But the first weapon that we all have is not on us. It's actually in us, and it's our voice.

Lisa: Our voice is our first line of defense and if we can use our voice forcefully enough and confidently enough, we can deter nine times outta 10, we're gonna deter that threat with our voice. We may not have to use any of our other weapons. And she did.

Kellie: I like that. And that's from the voice of an expert, folks. You heard it here.

Lisa: So, one of the things that I found awesome, um, about another thing that I found awesome about the confrontation is the idea of predators not wanting to be noticed. Right? And so, the last thing a predator wants when they're stalking you or following you, is for you to notice them. So, for her to do that and to let him know that, hey, we are aware of your presence and what you're doing, um, was also a deterrent for him.

Lisa: Well, he had been noticed. She's seen my face. She knows that I'm following them. I'm not gonna be able to sneak up on them now. I'm not gonna be able to catch her off guard. Right. Um, and so she noticed him, and I think that was, uh, a really important thing. And then she trusted her gut in both situations.

Lisa: We talk about it all the time. It's so fucking important to trust your instincts at all times. I know I've said this before, but you know, our brains take in so many more pieces of information in any given second than we can actually consciously process, um, through all of our senses. That when we have those feelings, like something isn't right, something is off, you have an instinct, um, a gut feeling that sort of says to you, pay attention. Notice this thing, something is not right. That's because that's your brain telling you the only way it can, that it has noticed something that you were not able to consciously process. And we've got to pay attention to those signals.

Kellie: Wow. We have to pay attention. I like paying attention to you 'cause I learn so much.

Lisa: And I learn so much from you.

Kellie: So, if you're listening, pay attention to your surroundings, pay attention to your instincts and your gut, and pay attention to your favorite podcasts. That's all I'm gonna say.

Lisa: We're so lucky to have someone like Jessica come and… and share her stories with us. I think that, um, our ability can… to be able to learn from each other as women and learn from, you know, our successes, our mistakes, times when we got to be our own hero. Times when other people helped us by being our hero. Like whatever it is. Um, we just continue to be blessed with the ability to learn from each other and, um, so really grateful for Jessica to… to help us with that experience.

Kellie: Yeah. Thank you, Jessica, and thank you, Lisa.

Lisa: Thank you, Kellie.

Jessica: Trust your instincts. I think that's the biggest thing that I've had to remind myself of for many reasons throughout my entire life, but especially growing up in a female body and being somebody who has an active imagination and is very observant. But also, I wouldn't say that I'm overactive. I don't have an overactive imagination.

Jessica: I'm not looking for things to be scary or negative. So, if something rings an alarm bell in my head, I'm going to listen to it. And if it turns out to be nothing great. If it turns out to be nothing because I got out of a potentially dangerous situation, even greater. And if I never know, fine, I would love that.

Jessica: I would love to never, ever know that I was actually in danger, but if something is ringing in my head going, you need to get out of the situation, I would much rather never know what was going to happen and just be safe, trust my instinct, and get the hell out.

French Announcement: Votre destination est votre pouvoir. Gardez cette force en vous et aidez-nous à propager ces récits. (English translation: Your destination is your power. Keep that strength within you and help us spread these stories.)

Kellie: And before we wrap, I just want to say this whole podcast exists because of a short film, Lisa, one of my favorite people in the world, made with her company, Diamond Defense. It's called "Three Things." And it's powerful, personal, and packed with truth. I've seen it. I can't wait for you all to see it. Lisa, you and your team, you poured so much heart into it and now we get to keep that conversation going here on this podcast, one story at a time.

Lisa: Thank you so much my friend. Um, that film was a labor of love and of urgency. Um, you know, we knew that there were conversations that women needed to be having about self-defense, and quite honestly, there is… there are several, uh, films, short films, short videos, pieces of media that exist, um, on the Internets, uh, about this particular study that this film is made about.

Lisa: Um, you know, that's called "Three Things" because we focus on the three things, awareness, confidence, and destination that were found to, um, make a difference in terms of how predators choose their targets. And I saw, I watched a lot of these other pieces of media. I watched a lot of these other videos, and I didn't like any of 'em. And so I decided to make my own because so many of them would be like, sort of condescending, gruff men saying t hings like, you know, you women, really, you need to stay aware out there and you need to mer– you know, and like, uh, I found it very disconcerting the way that women were being talked to, um, the way that, uh, that those, that, that information was trying to be communicated to us in a way that I didn't feel was productive.

Lisa: And so, I decided to make my own film about it, and I hope that it's helpful to people and I hope that it illustrates these points in a way that, um, are well received, um, by women in a way that helps them to, um, just understand the importance of this stuff, um, and how… how we can sort of be our own heroes.

Lisa: Nine times outta 10. Uh, if we're aware of this stuff and we are utilizing these techniques nine times outta 10, um, we get to save ourselves out there. So, you know, um, this podcast started because we wanted to talk about those three things, right? And we wanted to sort of tell more stories about how those things affect us and how they affect our safety and, um, and so yeah. So, we're here.

Kellie: And we want you, listeners, in this conversation, too. So, here's a question for you, listeners. What's one habit you've picked up that helps you feel safer moving through the world? It could be big, small, something your mom taught you, something you figured out on your own, something you've heard on this podcast, whatever it is, we'd love to hear from you. Seriously. DM us, email us, or send us a voice memo.

Lisa: And if you've got a story of your own, like one of those, something didn't feel right, moments or a time you had to be your own hero or, uh, figure things out for yourself and you're open to sharing it, we would love to hear that too. You know, you can totally stay anonymous or just use her first name, and we will meet you wherever you are because, uh, every woman's story has the power to sharpen someone else's awareness. And we all have the ability to learn from each other here.

Kellie: And hey, if this episode resonated with you. Do us a favor, share it with someone you love. Follow or subscribe to the podcast on whatever app you're using. Tap that five-star review if you're feeling generous. The more people who hear these stories, the more we all learn.

Lisa: We'll be back next time with more stories, more insights, and more tools to help you move through the world with clarity, with confidence, and with power. Until then, ladies, trust your gut. Trust those instincts. Walk through the world with confidence and move with a pace and a purpose. Those are our three things.

Lisa: That's our jumping off point, right. Well, we got a lot more to talk about on this podcast. We're gonna talk about everything from distraction techniques and how useful they can be. Y'all are not gonna believe the story, uh, that we have for you on that episode. Um, it's the most incredible use of a distraction technique that I have ever heard.

Lisa: We're gonna talk about actual physical defense stuff. We're gonna talk about ways, techniques, tactics, that you can physically keep yourself safe out there. And so far as we can on a podcast, um, we're gonna talk about all of those issues, uh, that we have to deal with surrounding our safety every day, and how we can rise above and be our own heroes.

Lisa: Thanks so much for having your ears on this podcast. You know, we appreciate you so much. Stay safe out there, everybody.

Kellie: Watch out for motherfuckers.

Lisa: And shine on, Diamonds.

Theme Music: I am a fighter. Checking my armor. I'm marching onward. Hey Hey.