Stop Saying All Women: Breaking The Social Media Echo

Stop scrolling yourself into belief systems that keep you stuck in hurt and frustration. In this episode, we unpack how “all men” and “all women” stereotypes get reinforced online, how algorithms keep feeding relationship drama, and how stronger boundaries and better inputs help you step out of that cycle.

• how social media reinforces relationship stereotypes
 • why algorithms keep feeding drama instead of healthy examples
 • how search and watch habits shape what we believe
 • resetting your feed with healthier perspectives
 • how lack of boundaries teaches people how to treat us
 • why chaos feels familiar and kindness can feel suspicious
 • breaking cycles of dysfunction and control
 • handling envy and confidence triggers in friendships
 • replacing generalizations with real behavior conversations
 • setting limits calmly without drama

Transcript

Algorithm And Bias Kickoff

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Change the algorithm because it's sending us what we like, it's sending us what we search, it's sending us what we it's feeding that narrative. Whatever you looking up on Google, it's propaganda, it's marketing, that's what it does. It wants to understand you and then feed you more and more and more of that.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Chaos feels comfortable sometimes for people. Um, letdown feel comfortable for people sometimes. Disrespect feels comfortable for people sometimes. So when you get a man or you get a woman that is, here, let me open this door for you. Don't touch that door here. Let me do this. You looking like, what's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Some people also don't know how to set boundaries. And when you don't set healthy boundaries, you keep attracting manipulative women or whatever the issue is because you haven't learned to set a boundary for that type of personality. They only gonna do what you allow them to.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

You're lucky I can't hit that button over there.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Woman in Black is where we put down the cape and pick up the mic, being authentically who we are, where we are, unmasked, unfiltered, and unapologetic.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Okay, check in then. How are you doing today? Well, let me face you.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Can I be transparent? Be transparent, ladies. I don't feel good. I'm irritable. I'm not having a something going on in my body. I don't like it. I'm drinking a situation sip. Sir I don't even drink dark soda. I don't drink soda except ginger ale, but I'm drinking it. I'd rather have like a milkshake right now. The baskins robin line was long. I tried there first, but what you about to pull out your pocket? Um heart shaped macarons. You want one?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

No, I'm not eating sweet.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Oh, I'm

Candid Check‑In And Cravings

SPEAKER_03 1:58

sorry. That was okay. I'm sorry. It's coming, it's here. I need all of this. I got some um, but I save you one of these, girl.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

I've been uh substituting, because you know, when this for me too, especially um got used to eating um peanut MMs, those are my guilty pleasure. So I substituted it with like this natural like honey pecan almond cluster still.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Yeah, I'm not that mature yet. I can't even I can't even tell y'all what I'm gonna eat this weekend now. I'm gonna eat on Sunday because mind you, I had that little surgery.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

It's time.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

You probably lost some weight, and I'm about to gain it all right back because I'm ready. I've been hungry for seven days and seven nights. Hungry, but anyway, how are you?

SPEAKER_01 2:59

I'm hungry too. Open my bag real fast. It's all eat your sex, girl. I'm good now. I have been having cravings the morning time, but you know, just trying to stick through it. I have one more day, and then it's a lifestyle change though, so I'm not doing this just for a set period, but I am trying to achieve something during a set period, so I'm I'm focused more than ever, but I'm still gonna make adjustments to like my normal lifestyle period. So yeah, I'm hungry and uh trying to just find out different recipes and stuff. Listen, scam. Leave her alone. I don't want whatever you selling. She already got a warranty on her car. Maybe that, and it'd be like that.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

But you know what? I've been eating healthier. Yeah, you see how I made that mac and cheese. Yeah, like no dairy and stuff. But ladies, y'all know how it is right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Yeah, I need all of this. Yeah. You know, in some cultures, like they don't women don't fast when they're on there.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

Oh, really? Yeah, they shouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Right. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

They shouldn't. Stop.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Even though I know it's different for you, you just got to everything. So you got a lot going on right now.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

I can only eat on one side because I'm still scared to eat on the other side. Yeah. What the heck is going on my phone?

SPEAKER_01 4:35

You heard that? Listen, stay away. The scammers and the hackers stay away in Jesus' name. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. Here we go. Yep. Okay, so what are we talking about today? You got a piece of macaron, macaron, macaroon. I call it macaroon. Oh, right here sitting in your lap. Right here. Got real comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

It was raspberry, by the way, if you were wondering. So, all right. Now, even

Tired Of “All Women” Stereotypes

SPEAKER_03 5:15

though I'm going through what I'm going through, I still can think logically. So don't get in these comments how y'all was chewing me up the last time. Thought y'all was, but y'all wasn't. Don't do too much. Don't do too much. What we're about to get into. Well, she said, and I don't know what we're about to talk about, but what she said. So I am honestly tired of people in our comments. No, seriously, I joke it. I'm tired of people in general taking social media and using putting all, let's say, women in one category based off of what they see on social media. Right. Or even putting men all into one category. And since we're women, we're gonna dig into the men that are putting us in one category. Cause we different.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Hey,

Sponsor Note And Lifestyle Juggle

SPEAKER_02 6:15

it's that's here. Before we continue, if you're a woman who does it all, sports mom, dance mom, beach girl, healthcare worker, someone whose life doesn't fit into one lane. This episode is in affiliation with other bad. It's doable, wonderful, and fully customizable. Whether you're headed to the stadium, the beach, or straight into a link, it holds your lifestyle together without you happy. You'll find the link in the show notes and the comments. Now let's get back to the conversation.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

Yes,

Calling Out Generalizations

SPEAKER_03 6:53

ma'am. Like, I'm do you guys hate when you talk you're talking to somebody and they say all women? That does something to me. That grinds my gears. Because all women are not the same.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Like, for instance, sorry, Suge. Not that I grind it grinds my gears.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

Listen, because me and Suge had a conversation. Ah, okay. Sorry, Suge, but I'm about to bring it to the podcast. Me and Suge had a conversation.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

You say that really throws me because of Kira. Oh it threw me.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Oh, sorry, sis. Um, so we had a conversation and he said something like, Yeah, because all women do that. And I said, No, not all women. So when he I said, name me like three women that do this. And all three of the women that he did he named all were the same type of women. Ratchet, outside, not a josh. So did he say that thinking that you was ratchet and outside? No, no, because then he'll back it up and say, nah, but not you. But in the same sense, he's always like all women, but and the and not too much on my shook either. Because a lot of men do this.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

They categorize women because they may have had a bad experience in their past. Maybe they're still dealing with maybe. Sorry, moms, here we go again. Maybe their moms weren't the best. Maybe how their upbringing was wasn't the best. They didn't have the best ideal of women growing up. So now here you here you got a good one in your face. And all you're talking about is these women. All women. All women. All women cheat. All women say that their male best friend is their male best friend, and they are but but they really were messing with their best friend. So technically it's not their best friend. All women lie. All women make you feel like they love you, and deep down they got something else going on.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

At this point. That's what I'm saying. At this point, we can say a lot of different things in that sentence.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

That's what I'm saying. But it's also because a lot of men are scrolling on social media, and what they see is these quote unquote what baddies. That's what they call them. Like the baddies, the real cute girls that just want you for your money, really don't have nothing going for themselves sometimes. You know what I mean? Like I would rather you switch up that narrative, and it's like, and I say, Show, well, I'ma show you a baddie that got it going on, and this and this and this. But I'm tired of that. And it's not just him, it's just him saying it like that. Brought it to my attention that wow, wow, a lot of men think like this sometimes, and it's not even their fault. Sometimes they've really been hurt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Because listen, the more the older I get, actually, I'm about to say the more mature, but it really ain't got nothing to do with maturity. The older I get, the more I realize how many toxic women are out there. Because the stories I'm here, I I be hearing, I'll be like, she ain't do that. You lying. And then they got receipts, and I'm like, ding.

Social Media Feeds The Narrative

SPEAKER_01 10:30

I wow. Like, so there are some toxic women out there, but just like men, like, there's some toxic men out there. There's some good and bad on both sides. It's just, I think some people hurt so bad that they can't see past what they've been through, you know? And any little thing that give you an inclination, it's like their nervous system say, no. And like they can't even move past it sometimes. And then they can't, and the thing is, it's like, yeah, put me on a pedestal, but don't put me on a pedestal because I'm not an angel. You know what I'm saying? Because I got my stuff too, but I don't got that. And so it's like, you gotta work through it when you're dating, obviously, to be like, nah, that I got this though.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

But I don't got that. Like, if you wasn't, I let you talk about this part of me. Right.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

So my thing is, like you said, change the algorithm.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Yes. On Instagram. Change it. Like, that's major. And I said that because we be chatting offline. The biggest issue is the algorithm. Period. Like, biggest issue, algorithm. Okay. And I really meant that when I said that. When I said change the algorithm, because it's sending us what we like, it's sending us what we search, it's sending us what we it's feeding that narrative. Whatever you're looking up on Google. Like, I understand marketing. I understand it. And so when you're googling something or speaking a series or doing this and that, they're gonna send you that. It's propaganda, it's marketing. That's what it does. It wants to understand you and then feed you more and more and more of that. That psychological manipulation, some people can't look past it because that's all they see. And so, all women, all women know all women in your feed. All women in your life.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Like, you know what I'm saying? And some people also don't know how to set boundaries. And when you don't set healthy boundaries, you keep attracting manipulative women or whatever the issue is because you haven't learned to set a boundary for that type of personality. Yeah, so because people they only gonna do what you allow them to.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

You're lucky I can't hit that button over there. People will only do what you allow them to do to you. Yes. Yes, that was that was a word. Sorry, y'all, we done. Just kidding. But no, seriously, that was a word. Because if if the roles were reversed, right? And I was saying, um, like by now, everybody know I don't have the best. My kids ain't got the best dad. Right, y'all know that. But if I if I said, yeah, because all y'all act like this, just like him, knowing that my man over here was a phenomenal dad. Right, right. My brothers are phenomenal dads. I can't put them all in the same category with him and say,

Boundaries And What You Allow

SPEAKER_03 13:30

all men, right? All men do this. No, all men don't. No. No. So you have to change that algorithm with that. Yeah, change your friend circle too. And then don't, I guess we do this, human nature, when we're out of our comfort zones, we kind of begin to sabotage something that doesn't feel comfortable. Right. Like chaos feels comfortable sometimes for people. Yeah. Um, letdowns feel comfortable for people sometimes. Disrespect feels comfortable for people sometimes. So when you get a man or you get a woman that is here, let me open this door for you. Don't touch that door. Here, let me do this. You looking like, what's wrong with you? You know what I mean? But that's because that person may not be healed to the point, it's different, it's out of the comfort zone, I should say.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

And some people don't know how to receive love, they haven't been loved in that way. And so it's like, what you want from me? Why are you doing that? Why you here? Who sent you? Who sent you? Like, and so they're expecting the worst. And that's there are certain personality types that in situations that really breed that, where it's like, because I have somebody very close to me, they will always try to prepare you for the worst. I don't live like that. Neither. And so prepare me for my best, prepare me, like say it different. I need you to speak different because I that doesn't resonate with me. But I'm mature enough enough to understand what don't resonate. And either we're gonna learn each other on how to communicate with one another, or you're gonna have to be on that side. Don't talk to me about that. The boundaries, right? Don't talk to me about that. Now you know when you start talking like that. I gotta go. Like, you know, it don't gotta be all hard and everything. You know, you just do it. But yeah, some people um they and some people love dysfunction, they love the thrill.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Are the people you're speaking, you're speaking on, you think they love they love it by choice, or is it just like a natural habitat?

SPEAKER_01 15:47

I will say two things. I think upbringing and personality has to do with this because there's a lot of people who had a dysfunctional upbringing who decided that that's not how they want to live. Yeah, you know, and they they decided to to create their own world, their own life, their own family where dysfunction is not a pillar in that. If something happened, they deal with it. Like this, it's not a pillar, it's not, you know, the cloud over it. But then you put a certain personality type in dysfunction,

Trauma, Projection, And Nuance

SPEAKER_01 16:21

then they might become a narcissist. Okay, you know what I'm saying? And so now they they love a certain level of attention, they love to manipulate situations, they love to, you know, uh belittle somebody, and they love chaos. And so I think it is two things that happen there. Some people, because I didn't have a perfect upbringing at all. Dysfunction. No, my mom was functioning, she was a survivable. My mama, my mama was best mom ever. I love my mom. Um like DJ. I did. Best mom ever. Yeah, oh my god. Yes, he does say that. But yeah, I I think it is it's twofold. You ever um look at them families and you be like, I don't know how y'all related. Like siblings grew up in the same house. Yeah, yeah. That's how I be feeling about people. Like, it's like now you you're choosing to stay in that mindset. And because of their that's why I try to be careful. Because although I may feel that they may not have hit a level of maturity where they can decipher that they have a different choice, another choice. And so, and some people never will get there. It just won't.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

So, what happens if they never get there? What do you do?

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Oh, I exit stage left. You know what I'm saying? I'm out. Cause I don't have to, I I don't have to deal with it. Yeah, I don't have to deal with it. And it's not a problem, like it's not even an issue. It's just like we probably just have our certain type of interactions and just keep on moving. That was that was a word. That was a mouthful. How do you feel about that though? Because I know you have strong feelings about it, but like, how do you, in whether it be a relationship or a friendship, how do you navigate that?

SPEAKER_03 18:21

I just keep being me. Right. Like I my I live off of um action speak more than words. I can show you better than I could tell you that I'm not like them three people you just named. Yes. I could show you better than I could tell you that I'm not like any of your exes. I'm not like your friends, I'm Josh. Right. Different. That's why I'm on this podcast, and that's why don't people thought they was chewing that much hole. Yeah, because they thought. But no, I just that's that's what makes me different. And like something me and you talked about, like Boo Boo said to you, Josh has always been Josh. Right. That's me. So you either I'm growing, healing, maturing, of course, but you either gonna love it or you're gonna envy it. That's it. Because the hate ain't real hate, it's envy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

No, I felt that when you said it. I'm like, mm, yeah, like you're right, cuz girl. And sometimes, let me tell y'all about envy.

Comfort In Chaos And Healing

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Because it shows up different than you expect. Some of your friends, the some some of the people closest to you, pay attention. Pay attention to how they talk, pay attention to how they talk about other people, pay attention to how they move because that envy is like, oh, it will eat up a whole situation. Like, ugh. Disgusting. Yeah, like I felt that when you said it. I felt that.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

I'm proud that I've I'm here to I'm mature enough and I've healed and I've grown enough to be able. To say that comfortably. Right. Because I told you, y'all know too. For a long time it was just like, why did everybody always pointing their fingers at me? Because you got something on you. Yeah, exactly. And you either love it or you envy it. Because it's not in you.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

People wish they would people wish they could speak as confidently. Yeah. As you do, right? And as boldly as you do. Yeah. Some people are gonna envy that. Oh, she always got something to say. Say something, Josh. Listen, you're like, that's where we're always doing something.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

We really live it up to her.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Like it just is what it is.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

But the thing is, and not to get off script here. Nothing we're doing, nothing you're doing is it's all pure, it's all genuine. Right. Nothing I'm saying is to um be negative. I'm not trying to um, you know, talk down on anyone. Usually the people that really love me, they call me because they know I might not want to hear what Josh gotta say, but she got my best interests at heart. Right. Every single time. Right. Even the people that envy me. They be mad, but they still won't hear what I gotta say. Y'all are crazy. Y'all are crazy. Crazy.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Who need what you have to say. They need your perspective, they want to hear a little more about your perspective because maybe you resonate with them. Maybe they're like, yo, that's about the best friend I never had. You know what I'm saying? Like that you just never know what people getting from you. So we're gonna keep doing what God called us.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

And that's once again why you can't put everybody in the same category, category. Now, can you say that all women bleed? Absolutely. Because we do, yeah, unless you've you've reached that, you've reached that goal and you don't do it anymore. But we all do. But is every woman Josh? No. Is every woman Dez? No, we are not the same. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Have y'all how do y'all deal with men who do that or women who do that? Or women who do that. Because we know women do it. Like, we know. I mean, it is what it is when it comes to it. But what's your experience and how do you navigate it? Because homegirl, be gone. Be gone. And I I ain't never gonna say that to like that's not advice I immediately give people. Like, you gotta look at the whole person.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

The whole person, right? Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

I don't know if I'd be able to deal with that. I don't know if I'll be able to deal with that, but it depends on what the trade-off is. Yeah, if I know, like, okay,

Dysfunction, Upbringing, And Choice

SPEAKER_01 23:00

they just got trauma that they're dealing with, it's like cool.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

Can I just learn to when you say all women, can I learn to be like, yeah, he's talking about y'all, not me.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

That's a good way to look at it. Because that I feel like this one is simple enough to be, I think, I don't know. I can't say because I ain't in this situation, but I will say that there's certain things in relationships that different people could deal with and certain things that are deal breaking. And this is relationships in general, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Not just, you know, intimate relationships or anything like this. This is just people who you involve yourself with. Like everybody does something that you don't like. Yes, so it's like all women don't do the same stuff. I would just stop talking about that. All women don't do the same things, guys. So, what do you want to leave them with?

SPEAKER_01 23:55

If you're in a relationship or friendship where those things are coming up, maybe you talk about a little bit. See if you can get some understanding. And if it really bothers you, ask them not to say it or clock out, like Josh, do yeah, and uh please emphasize on that.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

Listen, bring it in. We are not saying that I am full. This is just bothering me to the point where I just can't breathe. Okay, because y'all be doing a lot, and I'm traumatized a little bit. Y'all be doing a lot. That's not what we're saying. The question was no, the statement was we need men and women to stop categorizing all of us in the same category because we're not all the same. That's what it was, okay? So not too much. So I'm gonna leave y'all with Josh is Josh, and all the mother people is the mother people, and change your algorithm.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

You can do it, reset it. Yeah, go into your start reposting women in black podcasts, it'll change, it will change, it will change.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

All right, guys, all right, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

We ain't been drinking coffees lately, but buy us something. A situation, sip? No, we don't want to. We don't want that. Buy us something.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

Why do you want a boaz?

SPEAKER_01 25:26

I'll just say your one situation, sip.

Navigating Relationships With Boundaries

SPEAKER_03 25:31

Buy me a bananas over you latte with almond milk. Bananas for you. Bananas for you. Latte. I was just there. They got some. I took a screenshot. A oh, bananas for you latte. And then they have a bananas for you. Yeah, you're my butter call latte. So this must be the Valentine's Day. The rebound

Envy, Confidence, And Self‑Definition

SPEAKER_03 26:00

latte. My ride or chai. That's funny. That's a good one. A matcha made in heaven. That's cute. A love doctor, dirty soda. Dr. Pepper. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

All right, John. All right, bye.