Modern Motherhood is Exhausting

We talk through what Mother’s Day brings up for us, from gratitude and grief to the complicated reality of choosing what we carry forward from our moms. We get honest about overloaded schedules, self-care that disappears, and the everyday lessons that shape how we parent now. 
• kids’ schedules taking over the household and how we rebuild routines 
• self-care as maintenance and identity not a luxury 
• the mental load of parenting across different ages and activities 
• married life that still feels like single-parent logistics 
• what we keep from our moms and what we leave behind 
• defining a mother as source nurturer and covering 
• work ethic education and leaning into a child’s gifts 
• standards for speech presentation and protecting the home 
• love vs survival and how it changes what people expect 
• faith traditions the Halloween compromise and learning as you go 
You'll find the link in the show notes and the comments. 

Transcript

What We Carry From Our Moms

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Certain things with my mom didn't work for me back then. And to this day, she'd be like, but look at you now. Right? But it's it don't work. So it won't work for my parents and with my kids. You know? Nonetheless, that doesn't make them less of a mom. And my mom, I give her a lot of kudos because she taught herself how to be a mom. That's different from losing your mom. That's just different.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Blessed to have a great mother. I think as we become adults and parents too, though, we also realize, like, okay, I'm gonna take this from my mama. I'm taking that from my mom. Raise a girl who are successful in their own right, who are ladies here, women and some ladies.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Because growing up, I didn't understand why my mom would always be so on us to how you present yourself and who you allow in your house and all this stuff, right? Now I'm older and it's like, oh my god, they were not raised right.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Woman in Black is where we put down the cape and pick up the mic, being authentically who we are, where we are, unmasked, unfiltered, and unapologetic.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

I

Real-Life Check-In And The Week Ahead

SPEAKER_02 1:10

am well. I am well. What you got on your schedule for this week, ma'am? What's your week looking like?

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Work. Work. Work. More work. Get that time about right. Kids. Um, I do plan on going to this wine festival. Really? Is it around here? Yes. You might have to send me some details. You gonna buy yourself or you gotta planned. Um, no, so sorry, Porsche. So Portia has told me to extend it to you. And I just thought about it when you asked me this. Well, I mean, I don't even know if I'll go. It's gonna be a crazy few weeks for me. It's not this weekend coming up, it's the following week. Yeah. So I'll let I'll I'll send it to you. But we were talking about it, and she was like, No, I really want to go. So I'm like, all right. And then she was like, Yeah, cuz ask Des Cause last time we all had a good time. And I was like, okay. So but she's bringing theory. So her part was maybe I'm not going over these things. I'll think about it. Okay. She asked me to bring Jason. I'm like, you know, Jason's really good at being that big brother cousin, but he might get bored. Right. He might get bored.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

So yeah, I you know. So this is where I am. I'm listening. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

I'm just not making eye contact because I'm about to something up.

Self-Care After A Long Pause

SPEAKER_03 2:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

So where I am with my life is my schedule has completely be over been overtaken by my kids' schedule. And then I still have my schedule, right? Like I have I have the job, I have the consultant, I have, I have not been taking care of myself. I got my nails done. Look. Oh, you did. I did. I got them painted. Like, that's a big deal for me.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Good job. It's been like even though you told me that yesterday. I'm really proud of you. It took me like for like the last year and a half. Yeah, at least at minimum a year. Y'all, give her a round of applause. I'm so happy. Y'all don't understand. They don't understand how happy I am for you.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Don't like it's been a long time coming. I'm like, all right, so now I'm like, okay, I'm getting on my nail schedule again. I'm gonna get on my hair schedule again. Like, and these are things that, well, I want to say I enjoy. I don't like going and sitting because my body's not used to it. But I do like to look good, you know.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

I want to look at it's a part of self-care, so you have to make that time for your own self-care.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Yeah, I want to look a certain way. That's my prerogative. Um, but also like, girl, I'm trying to get into my next level. And you ever look at your life and be like, now Dez, you you you had your routine down, and everything just kind of like fell apart. And now you gotta get it back. Yeah, now I have to get it back. Um, and a lot had to do with, you know, Josh is very aware of this, but like just kids. I had a lot, I had kids back to back.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Yeah. And not for nothing. Yeah. We're in our mid-30s and she got toddlers. And I know a lot of people are, but it's a lot, it's it's a lot different versus when we first had our kids, right? Yeah, I'll be 40 next year. Right. So that's different. So I can't, I can't relate to when she's tired because you know I'm not getting pulled each and every different way. So crazy.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

I don't care what I say, but my kids ain't normal. They not, they not like, I mean, maybe no kid is normal then. But kids are kids. They kids, right? And they like, they're very intelligent and active. When you mix those two together, you got a kid that always wants to do something, always got something to say. And they draining and I love them, but they're draining, but it's a lot of work, and they're in different stages of their lives.

Kid Schedules That Run The House

SPEAKER_02 5:15

So I'm trying to figure out I'm gonna have kids in four different schools next year. And I gotta make sure all of them get on a bus, and I gotta drive one to school, and that's like an hour out of my time in the morning, and then another hour in the evening, and it's like, and then I have competition dance. This girl, my 11-year-old schedule right now is insane. Like for the next few weeks, and then the one the girl right behind her, she wanna do everything the sister, the big sister does.

SPEAKER_03 5:49

Right, because that's how it goes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

And so, like, trying to keep their hair in these buns, like you ever trying to put forcey hair in a dance button, and they got different grades.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

Try to put Naomi hair in a dance butt. You see, you didn't even have to do that. Right, don't don't.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

I love my Naomi, but it ain't even just trying to put her hair in a button.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

The girl is wild, they trying to keep it in the button because five minutes later, she's on the floor, cry out rolling. Yeah, but it's so violent. I just can't when she's exhausted, so my boys are all older than my youngest. So I'm like, you guys want to go to the park? And he's automatically like, can Doody and Jalen go too? Absolutely, they can. Yes, they can. Round them up. Let's go to this park. I okay, and I can sit in my car, read, or sit at the park, but I do not unless I want to, because I did get out there a few times and play soccer with him most recently. But if I don't want to, I don't have to.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Yeah, I ain't there yet. You're not there.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

When you get there, you're gonna be so happy. I'm gonna be so happy. I'm gonna be so happy.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Because like Nia's at that age. I but she don't do like regular kids stuff. She she decided very young, I'm gonna be a professional dancer when I get older. So she is on this track of I, you know, gotta go to the dance. Yeah, so she goes to all these dance intensives. Okay, I gotta go to Broadway Dance Center in New York. Oh, I have to go to Alvin Ellie Day, or I have to do the and it's like I just and I because of my background, I'm like, yeah, you need all of these, and I'm trying to be strategic because I got other kids. But anyway, y'all, so I'm I'm I haven't been taking care of myself. That's the moral. That's what it came down to. But now that we're falling into a routine again, and I could understand what to expect out of this new dance school and you know, activities. I'm like, all right, now I could start to schedule myself in again. Because they took over. So

Married But Moving Like A Single Mom

SPEAKER_02 7:56

that's that.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

You think sometimes you move as if you're a single parent? Because I'm over here like you moving like you a single mom.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Well, I think depends on the profession of your husband.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

You moving like that has been my life.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

I think a lot of single moms will and I would agree. Yeah, but they also judge when you say you married, but you moving like that. They be like, I ain't no way you could. Girl, I've been both. And with four kids, I was single mama two. Now I'm a married mama four. It's the same thing. Double, and I got a husband now, too. All right. I feel like it depends on the profession of your husband. Like, my husband has responsibilities that keep him out the house. But when he's able to help or meet me, like he's right there. Yeah, so he does certain things. So completely single mom, married, no, no. But the weight of what I was carrying as a single mom of two versus what I'm carrying as a married mother of four is about the same. Okay. Because I'm I'm carrying double the load. And I also have to consider my husband's schedule. I didn't have to consider anybody's schedule as a single mom. I did everything. Like I had to consider no date night. I ain't had to consider, will you be here? Now I never factored a man in. Right. So for me, it's just like, God darn it. You gotta factor him in. But what he's really good at is keeping me on task. He'd be like, all right, well, what you gotta do? Let's do the shared calendar, let's do the schedule. Last week he wanted to bring me out. He knew that if he wanted to bring me out, he was gonna have to take something off something off my plate. And so he's like, I'll bring the girls to dance. Okay, yeah, like something like that. Cause then I would have never been ready. I still wasn't really ready.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

We still got dear

Sponsor Break Bog Bag

SPEAKER_01 9:56

lane. Hey, it's Des here. Before we continue, if you're a woman who does it all, sports mom, dance mom, beach girl, healthcare worker, someone whose life doesn't fit into one lane, you need a bag that can keep up. This episode is in affiliation with Bog Bag. It's durable, waterproof, modular, and fully customizable. Whether you're headed to the stadium, the beach, or straight into a long day, it holds your lifestyle together without you having to think about it. You'll find the link in the show notes and the comments. Now let's get back to the conversation.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Alright, we're gonna jump right in. That was a long check-in. She asked me the roll question because I had to ask her back. I had to ask you the question back. So it was like, oh, I want to struggle for us, right?

Mother’s Day Gratitude And Complicated Bonds

SPEAKER_03 10:51

So with that, guys, Mother's Day has come and gone. But like you see, moms are always moms. Yeah. So I just want to start off by saying, thanks, mom. Yeah. Um, thanks. Even when you drove you drive me crazy. I am cracking up. Uh thank you for just being like my my person.

SPEAKER_04 11:20

Aw.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Yeah, she tried to sell my kidneys a couple weeks ago. Yo, that. But I still love you, girl. Your father's gonna crack up. And now she's she's steady laughing at it now because she's like, well, I was just in the moment and I didn't realize what I was doing. But no. So let's get into it. I hope you guys took care of your moms for Mother's Day if you have um that relationship with your moms. Right. Um, if not, I pray that you found you have someone like a mom who you can look, you can look up to. Like, that is my mom. That's not my biological mom, but that's my mom. And if your mom is no longer with you, prayers to you um that you can get through this season with just remembering the things that your mom was doing, was here when she was here, how active she active she was, and you know, just remembering her.

What A Mother Represents

SPEAKER_03 12:10

Um, your mom is, let me tell you what a mom is first of all. All right, tell us what a mom is. A mom, a mother represents a source, a nurturer, and a covering. She is often seen as a vessel through which life, care, and early identity are formed. At the deepest level, a mom is creation, protection, and guidance. Sum it up, a vessel of life. That's what they are. Yes. We are that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

That applies to us and our moms.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Yes. And we wouldn't be the moms we are without our moms. Of course, we're not the exact same, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

Because we've we taught ourselves other things in which they taught themselves things. Um, but I wouldn't have the worlds, the grounding without my mom, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

Yeah. Yeah. Especially your mom kind of like raised her, your mom lost her mom at a young age. My mom was raised by her grandmom and her aunt and her dad. So yeah, your grandmom is your grandmom, your aunt is your aunt, but especially when it's your mom, your mom.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

You know what I mean? Um, I think it's tough when women don't have that example of a great mom. Um, and when when that is the case, I've seen women try to hold on to examples in media or examples in, you know, uh maybe a first lady at their church or whomever, um, because they may not have had that in the house, or maybe they've seen two different versions. Like, I I say that because sometimes our biological parents aren't the best version. And so we are able to see the good version and someone outside the home, but we also may have experienced a toxic version inside the home. Um, I was blessed to have a great mother. I think as we become adults and parents too, though, we also realize, like, okay, I'm gonna take this from my mama. I ain't taking that though.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, like it's certain it's learning, like it's learning different things. Like, you know, certain things with my mom didn't work for me back then. And to this day, she be like, well, look at you now, right? But it still don't work, so it won't work for my parents and with my kids. You know what I mean? Like, so we just pick things, but nonetheless, that doesn't make them less of a a mom, right?

The Lessons Our Moms Modeled

SPEAKER_02 14:38

What do you think are some of the uh the things that you hold on to that your mom taught you or showed you?

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Lord Jesus. I don't know. There are so many. Where do I begin? You go and then I come back. All right, gosh, I can't even think of one right now.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

It's gonna come. Yeah, um, my mom's work ethic was just like admirable. Um, I just never seen someone move up like in life the way that she did, you know. And that always just stood out to me. I just like from a little girl though, because I remember when she she worked at the dry cleaners and I think she was making like four dollars an hour at the time. This was in the either late 80s, early 90s, then going back to school and starting in um behavioral health care and clinical research and stuff. And she my mom would talk to us throughout that process. Um, I I I think I just had that real that that realization though, like in this moment, my mom, every time she learned something, we were learning it too. And so when she learned, I remember when she first was telling me, oh, Rutgers opened up a school of public health. Um, I think you'll love this, like articles, she'll share it with me, like all these different things, just feeding into what our gifts were. Like she fed really fed into it. Like she really leaned into that. And so I learned to lean into your kids' gifts, but she was also very realistic. So she would be like, Listen, you get off my insurance at age 26. By age 26, if this dance and the music don't take off, you better have a job. You better have a real job with a 401k and with some health insurance. And you might want to do that at 24 because it's gonna take some time to find the real, real one. So she she was teaching us that she was learning, you know? Yeah, so her work asked, her leaning into our gifts, crafting, that stuff. My mom also artistic.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, yeah, my mom's I just pick I just realized this. I didn't just realize this, but it hit me. Um my mom, she she and I don't want to say she was a go-getter because she still is, but she older. She you know, she didn't have there, so she didn't chill out a lot. But my mom used to live in our little country town and drive the King of Prussia every day for work. Yep. King of Prussia. My mom distance traveling was not a thing for my mom. She did not care. It was like she had to get up early. Yeah, probably. But um, so I said that to say what that taught me, because people were like, You drive all the way to Philly, you do this. And in that moment, I never understood why my mom would be like, it's peaceful for her. So the drive was peaceful because that's when she could be just her God, her music. That was that that was her time. Yeah, it doesn't look like it on the outside, but that was her time. So I'm just here I am, living in New Jersey, traveling to, you know, traveling uh to Philadelphia. But that's my time in the car.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Mom, you didn't teach me that, and that's why I'm running into these issues because you had the same ones.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Well, my mom never had a and she's still to this day, she don't have no problem traveling. My mom loves to be on the road, um, church in Chester. Like, my mom don't play in her close to oldly age, elderly age. Because I be I be thinking like, dang, she about to be 70 years old. That's crazy, God. Wow. I need her for another 70, you know. Um, but yeah, my mom, my mom is, she loves dressing, her hats. Like, sometimes she'd be like, Well, what you got on? One thing she didn't play about was quality of things, what you gonna wear, how you supposed to present yourself. My mom does not play about that. Like, mm-mm, don't play with her. She does not play about that. Um, speaking correctly, properly, my friends used to come in the house and she would call their names, and they would be like, Yeah, huh? And she would we'll use Ashley for example. Ashley would be like, Huh, Miss Debbie? And she'd be like, Ashley. Ashley, and Ashley would be like, Yes. Until Ashley would say yes, or whoever said yes, my mom was gonna keep calling their name. Because when you leave this house, you have to make sure that people can understand you. Like, so, and now some days I don't, I'm not always like a yes, and I'm more lax sometimes, and she'd be looking at me like I did not raise you like that. Like, that's why I act like this. I raised you like that, but listen, listen, I know would have turned it off and wouldn't turn it on, so it don't even matter, but yeah, so my mom, she was just and my mom, I give her a lot of kudos because she taught herself how to be a mom. You know what I mean? And um, I also give her grace because I'm sure even at her older age it bothers her that her mom has like all these other kids and she still hasn't ever tried to be a mom to her. You know, like I'm sure that's tough. Like, that's different from losing your mom. That's that's different. But so I give her a lot of grace in that area. Like, yeah, like you on this earth, and we ain't got no relationship. Right. That's tough. But sometimes I be getting her together, like, mom, if they don't call you, you don't call them like she my child. Like she's like, no, I gotta make sure I'm living right. You are, you are. God told me you are.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

You know, people know, but you know, that's my mom, you know, like that's just the protection, you know, like right, even though because we're adults now too, and so it's like we don't want to see our parents hurt.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

Because don't play with my mom. That's why she don't tell me what be going on at that at that job.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

Yeah, find out after the fact, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

Don't play with my mom, but yeah, shout out to our moms and shout out to I I I can speak for myself, and I this is all facts. All the women that I'm surrounded around, all my whole village full of phenomenal moms. We're all phenomenal, yeah. So shout out to my village and my girls because we're phenomenal, right? We don't play about these kids, these kids get on our nerves sometimes, but we do not play about our kids.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

I wanted to know like, did you have a close-knit family? Um your mom has other support outside of her mom.

SPEAKER_03 21:14

Yeah, so my mom, my mom's um, remember I told you about Diana Ross? Oh yeah. In the Supremes. My mom's her dad's side, she's closer to them. Like they're really close knit. And then, you know, we're close, we're close to them, but we're close to my dad's side because they're here. So yeah, real close knit. She was more close knit with the people she grew up with, though. Right. Her siblings on her dad's side, which she does her uh stepmom, she does say, like, that's her mom. So okay, that's good. That's good. She has somebody, yeah. But it was different because she lived like Philly up here, and they lived in Maryland, so okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

My my mom and her sisters are very close. Like, oh I Couldn't imagine, you know, losing a having lost a parent for a lot of people. Some people not, but it does bring you closer to your siblings. And so with them being three girls, you know, losing their mom and then losing their dad, they didn't really have a choice to lean on each other.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

And so even with this next generation, like of my first cousins, on my mom side is very small. My mom has all the kids, and she's the youngest. And then her sister has one, and her other sister has one. And so it's like anytime we do so, it's like we all gotta show up. Or else it's gonna be like two people there. It's only gonna be two people there. Yeah, so it's like, oh shoot.

Standards Boundaries And Protecting Peace

SPEAKER_02 22:42

And I gave it to my mom for raising three girls though. When I tell you, we was a handful. We were a handful. Like, we were a handful. We were different personalities. Like, and we love our mom. Like, we don't play by our mom. No. But Lisa had to get us together. And for different reasons, too. Like, we just it's three girls with three different personalities. But we it's so crazy. In our house, it was three girls with three different personalities. But to the rest of the world, it's us three. Right, right. Right. Like I don't play about my sister. I don't play about my sister. Okay. So um, yeah, don't mess with my sisters. And I'm in the middle. So and I don't play about my sisters. I'm just saying. Anyway, so I gave it to my mom for raising girls who are successful in their own right, who, you know, are ladies who are women who have, you know, gone to accomplish stuff, who take care of their families.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

You said something, ladies, because growing, growing up, I didn't understand how my mom, didn't understand why my mom would always be so on us to how you present yourself and who you allow in your house and all this stuff, right? Now I'm older and it's like, oh my gosh, they were not raised right. You I'm thinking younger. As a young, young woman, teenager, kid. I'm like, we're all thinking sometimes, like, of course, that's a no-brainer. Like, you know, not to go out of this house with your scarf on, you know, not to have people in and out of your house. No, people really like my mom didn't play that.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

No, like, like your house was your sanctuary.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

Yeah, my mom barely had her friends over at the house. Like, no, no, we've seen them at church events and events and parties and stuff, or the one house was my grandmom and grandpa's house. That's the house everybody goes to. But as far as just having people in and out, in and out, and people were just not raised right. And it's just don't crazy.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Or raised, they just raised different. No, right.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

For us because I just can't believe you know, job of the having her convictions, okay? I just cannot believe some of the but you know I agree. Yeah, you know, I just be like, but to them, it's right, it's regular, right? And then when they come, and then we bougie, yes, and we're not even bougie, it's just protecting my peace.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

I don't know you.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Yes, I know what you're what my mom, I know this is about our moms, but my mom and my dad, what they raised us off of was like love, and to see people not raised off of love and more raised off of survival, oh I you know, that's just it's it's a lot of heartbreaking though sometimes. Like because people not raised off love don't always understand where I'm coming from because they're not ra you know what I mean, they're raised off of surviving sometimes, so it's different. And you just like I'm sorry you feel like that.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

It's tough. Like, I feel like I've seen a lot growing up, right? Um, my mom did her best and she protected us like in our home. Love all of that.

Faith Traditions And The Halloween Story

SPEAKER_02 26:07

Like in our home, my mom did not play, like she grew up very Pentecostal, you know. So her morals and stuff right away, even though she uh my mom grew up Pentecostal, but let me tell you, she she had some things that she be like, this is the way, and other things like we ain't doing that, because they wallin'. And what I mean is bending tradition a little bit, like when I wanted to wear a costume for the Halloween parade, you know? Nope. Like we wasn't able to really do that. So what she did was I girl, I was acting like they only I could do like so I gotta stay in the classroom. In the classroom. Yeah, so she trauma. Right. So she took a paper bag and she made me a clown outfit and put her red lipstick on my cheeks, and she said, and she put the holes in the paper bag so I could put my arms through. And I was a clown that day.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Because what she was about to do, Jake.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

She buy no costume. She wasn't about participating. She was about to buy no costume, but she also understood the social aspect of it. And she taught me. If you want to be a clown, be a clown. Yeah, she taught me, you know, she taught me, but she also understood, like, she like we don't participate in witchcraft or anything like that. Like, and I want you to understand what this holiday means, but also um can accept that society is trying to make it different. You know what I'm saying? Like they're making it as more gathering and all that, not as going over a cauldron whipping up. So you know, like, but yeah, so she was realistic in in what we needed as society was changing in perspective to religious beliefs.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

And so, but girl, it took me, I think I was the one to break the curse of not being able to wear it.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

Ain't nobody break that curse. We were sitting up in that classroom watching the other kids at the parade. Like, and now as a grandmom, she got a nerve to be saying, Did you get Jace's costume? The audacity of you to be worried about Jace's costume. I didn't have one, Miss Mama's. I was at um, what was it called? Fellowship night. Yeah, it was at the end of the day. At the medical Harvest Festival, or I was like Mary or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 28:27

Like Bible costume. I think I if if I know myself correctly, if I know my mom in our situation, I always had a um a comeback for things like that. Only because I was trying to understand life. And I think I raised a lot of questions to my mom that had her reconsider things as she was maturing into her relationship with God. Yeah. And so, because she always be like, Well, I didn't think about it like that. Like, well, maybe we could try it this time and I'm gonna pray on it. Like something like that. Like, she never really shut me all the way down. Right. She was like one of those people who she was still growing and learning. She had me when she was what, 21? Yeah, she had care at 18. So she was still young.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Yeah.

Teachable Moments And Motherhood Every Day

SPEAKER_03 29:14

And as a mom, what I realized is that, and I might have said this already, but you're always gonna, there's always teachable moments. Like we're always learning something because things that I've gone through with my kids, my mom just can't fathom. She's like, what in the world? Like, she can't fathom. And I'm sure when, well, I don't have any daughters, so they won't be mothers. But when my nieces become mothers, they'll be the same way. Or my bonus kids, when they become mothers, they'll be the same way. Like, I I'll only be able to tell them lived experiences and they'll be going through something else that they have to teach themselves. Like, I can't teach them things that I haven't been through. You know what I mean? So my mom couldn't teach me something she she hasn't been through, but I'll be teaching her, I'd be schooling that. I'd be like, she'd be like, no, that's just how I am. And I'll be like, and it's not too late to change. It's not too late to change. So I okay. But yes, kudos to our moms. We love you guys so much, and Mama Lisa too.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Yeah, my mom, yo, mama though, play. I don't even know how she raised us, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

When you look back, my mom always said though, if she had to have another kid, it would she would prefer a boy. Isn't that always like what? Instead of you? Instead of a girl. And if she had to have an additional kid after me, oh it would be a bo, she would prefer a boy. She said, girls are too much, and she only had one. Well, God gave her everything she can. So kudos to your mom, because she has three. And I hear people say that a lot, like, oh, boys get so much easier. And I'm like, what does that mean? What do you mean? Girls are fine.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

No, but yes, I can understand having two girls of my own. The boys. Well, we'll see.

SPEAKER_03 31:02

So happy belated Mother's Day to all of the mothers. And Mother's Day is all the time. Every day is Mother's Day. You wake up, you take care of those kids. Happy Mother's Day, girl.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Happy Mother's Day. Are we leaving over anything? Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Keep doing a good job.