Episode 47 Aaron continues his testimony

Join us as Aaron's story continues down a dark path, building to redemption.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Hey! Welcome Battleground Believers. Thank you so much for being a part of the audience. We really appreciate it. If you look around the studio, they look a little bit different. We now have a banner. Now people know who we are. Thanks, Matt, for bringing that. You're welcome. Hey, uh, we're back at it today. Uh wanted to remind everybody like, share, subscribe really helps the channel. This is actually a ministry, not just two dudes or three dudes sitting around talking. Uh, there is a reason behind what we do why we do what we do. Um, there is a uh email address, battlegroundbelievers at gmail.com if you ever want to reach out to us. Uh, we're look looking forward to that interactions with you guys. And um uh again, appreciate so much you guys uh watching our content. And uh again, our tagline is telling his story through your story, and this is uh episode three for Aaron Rep logo. He's back in here and and and uh came back in to help finish his story, and we appreciate that so much the time you're giving us. And so when we kind of left uh the last time we were going through uh kind of a rough period for you where things really got to you, COVID and and and life situations, and it it drove you to to leave your job, and I think to move back to Indiana, right? We were back in Indiana. Okay. So we're gonna kind of pick up there and let you you take over and and continue on.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Thanks, Brad. Thanks for having me again. Um yeah, so it's it's the summer of 2021, and I had made the difficult decision to step away from engineering full-time uh because I was just crumbling under the weight of everything after COVID, and a lot of sort of visceral medicine changes that didn't go well, and mentally and emotionally I just was not in a good place, and I was not a present husband and father. I couldn't barely even take care of myself. Um and so kind of what happened from there was not the best thing. That's sort of the time period where I would go into the poker hall and spend the day there, oftentimes drinking way more than I should have. And this continued on for a couple months. Um and sort of in the fall of 2021, a couple things happened. Um, one, I became friends with um a family there. There was one of the guys who ran the place, and his wife at the time sort of um took an interest in me, and they encouraged me some. And actually, she's in the mortgage business, and she encouraged me to get into real estate, which is something that um I had sort of been interested in before and did the training and had a license and all of that. So I was like, okay, great, let's get into real estate. Um, and I'll talk more about that in a little bit, but I want to mention something else that happened around this time that's um just one of the most important things that's ever happened to me, and that is um that a young man, um, this is my Catholic Shepherd friend that I I may have mentioned already, I'm not sure if I did, but we just sort of came into each other's sphere um in the poker rooms around that time. And, you know, I I had no idea at the time um how just how important this would turn out to be, but it was. And somewhere in the early months, um, you know, I was still kind of not on the right medications, and I was drinking a lot to be fair, but I wasn't completely unlucid, you know. I was still there, you know what I mean? And there was a time where we were sitting at the poker table and having a conversation, and I don't remember exactly what was said or or any of that, but I just remember like waking up the next morning and being in the shower and having this immense overwhelming feeling of like, who was I talking to? Like, I literally thought, is this guy Jesus? Like, because of the way that he spoke to me. You know, of course, but it was like I had shivers and I was almost like I wasn't panicking, but you know what I mean? This like um almost like an epiphany that I was having about this. And of course I realized after I thought about it, of course, that's not possible. Um thought he was an angel potentially for quite some time. Um but I came around to the understanding eventually, and we'll we'll get there later in the um in the testimony, but you know, he's just a man who was close to the Lord and emulating Jesus, right? And so I had that experience. Um but back to kind of back to kind of where I went from here. Um I got into real estate, um, I got onto a team that wasn't the best for me because I like to party and do the drinking thing, and that wasn't the best for me because I oftentimes go too deep into that uh side of it. But um there was a time in relatively early 2022 where I found out about um sort of an abandoned home, a large one, in our nice neighborhood in southwest Fort Wayne. And as a real estate agent, that's an opportunity, right? To find the seller, um, try to see if the bank has fully taken over, try to see if there's an opportunity to try to sell it and get the seller out from under it. So this is a really long story in and of itself, and I don't want to go too deep into it, but I sort of grabbed the bull by the horns, you know. I was doing, I was sort of in a manic state a little bit, maybe. Um I pushed everything way harder than I should have. I pushed my friends, my family way too hard, asking them to come help me with the sale of this home. I took it upon myself to literally go in there and clean everything out to prepare it to be sold because you know, it needed some work. It had been sitting idle with furniture and things, and no one had been living there for a long time, and um I took it all upon my shoulders, and then I started calling out to my family, hey, can you guys come help me? You know, this is a a big thing. I need you to come help me, like push, push, push. And um looking back now on that situation, it's just like who did I think I was, you know? Basically saying, hey, you guys gotta come do this, like what? Like um, so uh that also strained my personal relationships an awful lot, and it was not good. Um in the end, um I made a ton of money for the sellers. Everybody on the on the transaction side of things things were really happy in the end. It worked out, a family got the house, um, and the sellers got to walk away with the check. Um but I didn't feel happy or fulfilled afterwards. Like I had done this great amazing feat that even somebody in the industry said, oh man, that's like the one of the most impressive things I've seen in the industry in the past nine to ten years. And I'm like, I'm done with this, we're at we're at the closing table, I'm going home, but my family's not happy. Um and so I think I think I even knew that a little bit at the time, and of course, standing outside of it looking in now is a lot different, of course, but within a month my wife and I were separated. Um because again, I was full of myself. I was basically saying to her, I need all these things from you all the time, and she was already taking care of everything because I wasn't very present, and um and so I basically left. Um and this is like April 2022, and I got a little townhouse in west central Fort Wayne, and I lived there by myself for a good six months, a good six months, and during this time I still had some pretty wild real estate deal experiences. Again, kind of uh not gonna go too deep into them, but there was another one where a similar thing where uh the house was near foreclosure and we had a seller who was in difficult personal straits, and you know, I got too involved again, um, and it really strained me. Um, but I wasn't even physically there with my family at the time, um, so at least it wasn't affecting them as much. But through the summer and the fall, um I started to get some help on the doctor side that was needed a little bit. Um, I started counseling with a Christian counselor, I would make my way to the YMCA, um, I would work out, swim, I was getting myself back into shape a little bit, which was good. Um, I actually switched real estate companies around that time as well. Um and that was a positive thing for that time. And so, you know, I I kind of obviously, right? I I was alone and I was able to think and able to clear a few things up, and I started to put the drink on the shelf again for a while, and I was like, man, what what have I done? What what have I done? I just left my family. And so um my wife, after a time, she saw that I that I had agreed to stop drinking for a time, and she got comfortable enough. And I'm keeping a long story short here, right? But towards the end of 2022, I think it was November time frame, um, she allowed me to move back in to our house in Southwest Fort Wayne with her and the kids. And um, you know, I left the I left the rental, I dealt with that, all those things.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

And so during during all that time, was there any like influences from anybody with like godly wise with you or her were they going to church? Like, was there anything like that that was possibly helping?

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Or so I believe that they were attending church in southwest Fort Wayne relatively regularly while I was away. I was pretty much not um it was around late 2022 actually that I started to get involved in Freemasonry. Oh wow. And now one thing, one thing that was that I should mention that was um really important was I had a good Christian counselor during during that time sort of of recovery from summer of 2022 towards the fall. And there were a few months in there where we spoke relatively often, I think once a week. Um he had me writing letters to my family, he had me thinking about things in a in an appropriate way and focusing on what mattered. And and he was he was tough. He was tough, but it was good because I needed that, and um, I had support from um a pastor that I know who also pastors in southwest Fort Wayne, um, because because the counselor kind of attended that church, and so he's actually an old family friend, and he was there for me a lot during this time, actually. He even came to town and walked around town with me one day um for a good hour or more. And so, yeah, there was there was support there. Um and and so that's what helped me come out of it, you know, to that point, to where I got back into the house, and I promised my wife I'd stop drinking until the new year. Is what I promised her. And and that's what happened. Um you know, I got back into the house, uh, I think it was late November, early December. Um, and I was still in real estate at the time. But as I mentioned, um I had started to get into Freemasonry, so I I think that I had had the first degree maybe late late late 2022. Um and the second degree was early 2022. And I have to I have to tell part of the story. It's it's really sort of interesting. We had we had a dog. We had a puppy that we had gotten because um a family in town had had by accident Bernie's mountain dog and Newfoundland mixes. Okay. So we got a female dog, a female pup, and she was beautiful, wonderful, wonderful dog. Um, and actually, Vic we had gotten her before I moved out in early 2022, so Vicky raised her up as a pup. But she came down with some kind of unknown sickness that just destroyed her um neurological system, like her spine, and she couldn't walk, and it was bad. Um And we had to put her down, and she was put down time-wise within I'm gonna say within a week of my first degree um with the Masons. And we also had a uh little white puffball dog that Vicky got like a year before our wedding. Her name's Daisy, and um she was old, old. She made it to like 18. She was put down within a week of my second degree uh with the Masons. And then so now we're talking about March 2023, and I had started drinking again, not too much in early 2023, you know, it was under control, right? And then I was raised to what they call Master Mason on March 23rd of 2023. And another interesting thing about the dogs is we got a puppy right around that time, like within 10 days. And she's a Bernese mountain dog pup. We she's a wonderful, beautiful animal. We still have her today. She's three now. She still acts like a pup. Um, but so that happened there, and so I was taking this opportunity, you know, oh the Masons, all this cool stuff, you know, I'm this awesome guy. Uh I can go drink and smoke and hang out with my buddies, and we're doing cool stuff. And so I started to even what I would say idolize that a bit, and I would focus on that more than my family. And um, you know, I was still doing real estate, some some business, but it kind of got again to that point where I started to focus on doing what I wanted. That may have been playing poker till all hours of the night, you know, started bringing started to sneak alcohol back in the house towards the towards the fall of 2023. And my birthday's in August. And um, you know, obviously, once I was turning 40. I was turning 40 in August and um 40. Yeah, so I was like, I gotta have this big party, it's my 40th birthday, we gotta do all these things, and well yeah, I've gotta have alcohol at the house, we gotta have pizza, wings, you know, and she's like we agreed, no alcohol in the house. And so it's like okay, and so this is right around the time where I started to push that really hard with her, and she was she finally agreed that we could do it just for the party. Um, but you know, I took that opportunity as uh okay, I can start to get alcohol for the party, now it's in the house, now it's right there, now I start drinking it in the house while no one's around. And um yeah, that's just the way it went. And so in October. In October, it was I don't remember exactly which date it was. I think it was the third week we had a party, my 40th birthday party. A lot of my neighbors and friends came for a time, we hung out, you know. I poured bourbon, made a big deal of that, you know. I I got them all in a room, and I even recorded uh my little speech I made where I thanked them for coming and helping me to become the man that I am today and all these things. Well, my wife bent over backwards to put the party on, and I I did thank her, I did, but I what I didn't do is I didn't give any credit or glory to God for all these blessings that I have in my life. And looking back now, I can I can notice that, right? I can notice that kind of a big piece I was missing. I had all these men that I loved there, my brother-in-law, some of my some of my best friends, you know, all of my best friends really, except for except for one. And that's kind of how it went down. It was a good night, you know, no no big issues or anything. Um but that's how it was. And um sort of I just I just asked the Lord to forgive me for for that time and the way that I was and how selfish I was.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

But so are you guys going to church as a family at this point?

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Some. Some. So yeah, so we would go to church on Sunday morning. Um, you know, we'd go to service, the kids would go to children's church, we'd collect everybody after and just go home. It was a big church, we weren't really integrated, I would say. We weren't part of the family, you know. Um so it was more like church is something we did, not and there were even times where I would I would just not go with them. You know, as a man of the house, I would stay home and sleep in or sit around or whatever it was I was doing instead. And so uh what happened next is um a pretty big life event. Um so there was uh there was a work party at my workplace, um, sort of like a 1920s themed everyone dresses up, you go, you have fun, you hang out, you take pictures, you know, you do the party thing, and uh we got invited. We got invited, and um I talked my wife into it. This is a big deal, you have to understand, because she doesn't like to dress up, she doesn't like to go out, and she doesn't like to go to parties, and she definitely doesn't want to be drinking. So all the things I'm trying to do at this party, she doesn't like any of them.

unknown 20:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

So here she decides to come with me, and um it was good. We had a good time, we had fun, I didn't get too blasted or anything like that. Um but that night I remember I walked her to the car and she drove herself home because I wanted to go out and play poker with my buddies for the rest of the night. So that's what I did that night. And and that worked out fine, you know, um, in a sense. But looking back, it's like Did I really send my wife home alone after a party where she bent out she she got way outside her comfort? Like, yeah. Wow. You know, kind of a thing. Right? So, um not the kind of husband I want to be, right? So a couple days later, we're standing around our campfire, our solo stove at the house with neighbors and and stuff over having a good time. I get a text. It's from my boss at work saying, hey, you need to come in, you need to talk with me, and the manager, a complaint's been made. And I'm like, oh. Okay. So I didn't get much information. That was a Tuesday after the weekend party. And so I come in on Wednesday morning. I come into the office. And I'm not gonna give full details. It's it's it's in the book, and we'll we'll talk about the book as we get there, but I'm gonna um for the privacy and safety of the people involved, and their names aren't in the book either, but we're just gonna say that it was a personally distressing um complaint against me where something that had happened at the party was misconstrued. And my boss encouraged me to take a deep breath, go home, work from home for a three few days and let it blow over. Well, I didn't lay low enough. Um I was kind of in that state of self and mania and obviously still drinking plenty, and I got worked up. Um I did go to the pastor that I trusted and talk about it, but after that, you know, I just I just was left to my own devices and I started drinking and the day after receiving the news, I told my boss in the morning, hey, I don't I don't want to do any paperwork related to this unless I speak with an attorney first. Alright, and that got him to send me an email later that day saying, You're fired, and any further communication you can send through my lawyer. Well, I did not handle that situation very well at all. I had already started um drinking that day, and I remember screaming with my family around, punching the wall in anger, um, and I was just worked up, you know. I was I was worked up, and um thankfully one good thing I did was I I reached out to um one of my Mason um guys and said, Hey, can you come get me? You know, I need to calm down, I need to get out of the house for a bit. I don't wanna be this worked up with my with my family around. He's like, so he drove from the other side of town, maybe 45 minutes away, with someone to come get me and took me to his house by the campfire and just let me vent a little bit and and and try to calm me down. Um the next day the next day, um one of my mentors, uh a good friend and neighbor of mine, came over. We spent a little time driving around town. I was trying to just kind of relax and take a deep breath a little bit. Um, he drove me to some places that I I needed to go for a couple things. Um and then we went to lunch. And we got back to the house, and it was I had had a a meeting scheduled with some of my Mason friends to come over to the house and hang out. Um and so around Friday afternoon, maybe 1 or 2 p.m. They had they had updated their time frame. Like they they were gonna come at 6 p.m. and I think they came earlier. And I thought we were just hanging out, so I let them into my house. Well, I found out shortly thereafter that they weren't there for a social visit. Um they were there to impress upon me that they were taking me to the hospital to get a mental health evaluation. And yeah. Yeah, that that put me um under some duress, right? Because of the trauma in my past with being, we're gonna say, like, locked up against my will.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Is your wife involved with like did she reach out to them and ask them to do this, or was this organically for themselves because of what they seen?

SPEAKER_01 26:58

I think that I think that the details of that are a little fuzzy in my brain because I sort of made some of that up. Um I sort of had like some uh let's call it paranoid fear about all of that. But I think it's definitely safe to say on the record that um these guys were the ones that knew me the most because I was closest with them at the time, so they knew what was kind of going on. And my wife and my family were also very concerned. So let's just put it that way.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

And so we're sitting at my kitchen table, right? And they're basically saying, like, we're doing this, like you're going to get a mental health evaluation. And I'm like, I'm scared, right? I I'm again paranoid fear because I know how I feel about getting locked up against my will. And some of the things that were said in that conversation are probably never gonna be repeated outside that conversation ever again. But I don't I can't explain the why I didn't run, why I didn't hide, why I didn't call the cops, why I didn't whatever. But I went with them. And they took me to Randalia, and the short version is I was stripped of my coat, my possessions, my phone, everything. And I was locked up.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Well, we're uh we're kind of coming to the end of this uh this episode, and uh so as we we wind down here, you your friends pretty much take you and get you admitted, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

At the behavioral, I'm assuming the behavioral, yeah, offering that, yeah. Uh, and so we're gonna kind of stop there when we come back up and we're gonna hear how that all starts to come out, right? And uh want to thank you uh for sharing. I mean, I know some of those things probably are not the easiest things to say uh to people and knowing it's gonna be uh put out on the air. So thank you for being vulnerable enough to share what took place. Uh the whole point of this podcast is to say I was this way, I had an encounter with Jesus, and now I'm this way. And unfortunately, the very beginning, where we are, sometimes is in a very bad place. We make very bad decisions. I made many bad decisions, and have you know, I still deal with that sometimes. And um, so uh not that everybody's story is different, but everybody goes through some stuff like that. And so that's kind of where we're at on here. And uh thank you so much for your time. Come back next week uh and continue a pickup right there because uh like I'm in the story, and I happen to look over and go, it's 30 minutes, you know. We try to keep him right around 30 minutes, but uh again we want to thank Randy Barr. He's on the keys, he makes makes us look beautiful, other than I noticed that the camera adds 25 pounds. Makes me sick.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Not to me.

SPEAKER_02 30:01

Uh welcome uh thank you to the two bar blue studio where we uh uh where we shoot this podcast and the ability to be here and it's our home base, and we're so much thankful that Randy uh has this space for us. And uh Matt Carter, thank you for finally showing up again and uh bringing the banner. He's getting better, people. Again, uh, thank you for being in the audience. Remember, like, share, subscribe. We're on all kinds of streaming sites. Battleground believers at gmail.com if you want to reach out to us. We look forward to hearing from you guys. Uh remember, all that call in the name of the Lord shall be saved. Battleground believers, out.