Well This Wasn't The Plan!

5. Hot Topics: Socialization + Sports

• Carson and Teran Sands • Episode 5

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Two weeks into our unexpected homeschool journey, we're tackling the biggest questions we've received: "But what about socialization?" and "Can your kids still play sports?"

Our children are actually socializing more intentionally now—through homeschool co-ops, park meetups, classes, and neighborhood connections—without it consuming their entire day. This intentional approach to social interaction leaves room for something we rarely had before: genuine family time and activities aligned with our core values.

We're also reexamining our relationship with youth sports. After years of rushing between six weekly practices and three weekend games, we're seeking balance. There are abundant opportunities for homeschooled children to participate in athletics—from homeschool-specific leagues to community programs—but we're learning to prioritize enjoyment over extreme competition.

This week, there have been tears and attitude, but overall, the kids still prefer homeschooling over public school.

Whether you're a homeschooling family or simply curious about alternative educational paths, join us for an honest conversation about finding the right balance between socialization, athletics, academics, and family time. Share your thoughts or questions with us, and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss our continuing journey!

Speaker 1:

There are so many ways to socialize your children in a more intentional way. So, instead of it being all day, like we're going to go on a hike with the homeschool group and we're going to spend a few hours with them on Fridays, every single Friday they're going to be in a co-op with kids their ages taking classes together. They're going to be with them, but it's not going to be in our entire day, and I like that because we have some time for family, some time for socializing and some time for a lot of other things that they want to do. We're not taking up our entire day socializing at school, so every single day we are socializing. We are two full-time working parents who just made a crazy decision.

Speaker 3:

After four years in public school, we're homeschooling our three kids and documenting the whole thing.

Speaker 1:

Never in a million years did I think we would be homeschool people.

Speaker 3:

Welcome to well, this wasn't the plan podcast.

Speaker 2:

I'm Slate and school's in the kitchen. Now I'm Scotty. We should start when I say so. I'm Sailor and this whole podcast was my idea.

Speaker 3:

This podcast is our real-time journey, unexpectedly juggling homeschool jobs, parenting and everything in between.

Speaker 1:

Follow along each week as we document how it's going and share the good, the bad and the ugly, Because we know some days are going to be ugly and we're not holding back.

Speaker 3:

We're learning to expect the unexpected, so let's get into it, let's go.

Speaker 1:

So the second week of homeschooling, we completed it. We're still alive. So that's the first thing I suppose.

Speaker 3:

I'm tired.

Speaker 1:

We're tired today. So that's the first thing I suppose I'm tired. We're tired today. We not only finished our second week, but we've been busy. We had a sleepover this weekend with cousins and it's Saturday and we're just trying to get this podcast out. We're tired.

Speaker 3:

Just a little.

Speaker 1:

Our days are packed because we're trying to get so much in every single day and we are. We're getting school done and work and extracurricular activities and getting outside as a family and all the things, but it's a long day.

Speaker 3:

It's hard in some ways, because I know part of the reason we did this was to, you know, simplify and not feel so busy and overwhelmed all the time. And it's different, we're, we're busy, but we're we're busy with different stuff. We were so busy and overwhelmed all the time, and it's different. We're busy, but we're busy with different stuff. We were so busy we weren't getting to do a lot of the things that are pretty important to our core values, and now we are. We're squeezing all of that in every day, and so that's good that we're hitting all that, but it does still feel busy sometimes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that's because we're starting our day very early to get the work done and then we're just staying very busy checking our list off through the day every day and it's just a long day at the end. But one of those days this week, for instance, you took Slate golfing with Pops, so he had like a boy's day during the middle of the day.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, that was great that we were able to do that.

Speaker 1:

And I just that's the kind of stuff we were looking forward to, and so we're still busy. I don't think life is not busy when you have kids this age, and so obviously that isn't what changed, but I do feel stressed. Of course, I have a lot on my plate homeschooling, working, all of the things but I don't feel as stressed as I did at the beginning of the school year last year. So that's what I have to compare it to, because kids have to be educated and there's only so many ways you can do it, and this one feels better.

Speaker 3:

For sure, and a lot of the stuff we're busy with are things we just simply weren't doing when we were in public school, and so I mean we're choosing a lot of these things like we're, in addition to work and homeschool, which are, you know, our primary things that we need to get done every day. We're going to the park, for it's supposed to be 30 minutes, but a lot of times that ends up being an hour every day, and then we're also going to the gym for an hour every day on top of that. So there ends up being a lot of things that we're doing, you know, every single day and trying to record um podcasts that we're keeping up with. So, yeah, it's a lot of things.

Speaker 3:

But outside of all of that, you know, I took the kids on Friday to do their fun Friday and we went to the park, we went to the splash pad, we went and bought a whole bunch of books at the used bookstore and on our way home we drove by the school pickup line and I was just like, oh my God, I'm so glad I'm not dealing with that. The line looked like it was half a mile long and I mean I'm not exaggerating, it really was. It was crazy. I don't know how they were going to get those people out of there by five or six o'clock. It was nuts.

Speaker 1:

Well, the first week is always the roughest. Well, one thing I wrote down that I realized this week just how little quality time we actually were spending with our kids during the school year. That was one thing on our list that we were thinking we wanted, but you don't really know until you do it differently and then you realize, man, the whole school year we don't spend very much quality time with the kids at all.

Speaker 3:

I would say almost none as a parent. No quality time as a parent, because in the morning you're their assistant to help them get ready, or their valet, you know. Then later in the day you're just their cook and you're their chauffeur, but you're never really their parent. During the school year Sometimes I was the coach, but that's also a different dynamic than being just being dad and that's with other children.

Speaker 1:

I mean, when we coached, we were coaching a whole team, so you weren't having like a lot of time, so it really was just a rare occasion. Like I remember last year Taylor and I went shopping one Saturday when there wasn't a game. So that's really the only thing I could think of that we really got to do, because when you're in sports and school it just doesn't leave very much time for anything else and we're going to do a recap today on this week.

Speaker 1:

Just a couple things Keep it quick. And then we're also going to talk about sports and socialization, because those are like the two hot topics. When you start talking about homeschooling your kids that everybody wants to talk about, because I do think if you're someone listening to this and you're considering homeschooling, that's going to come up. So I think it was important for us to have an episode about socialization and sports. But let's finish recapping this week and then we'll get into it. So I thought a quick schedule recap because people are wondering now. We talked about what the schedule would be and we didn't know if that's how it would go, but we'll go through it just quickly right now. Um, what's working, what's not? We wake up at six and work six to 10. The kids now have an alarm set for nine to get up, because if they're not done by 10, then our whole day is just thrown off.

Speaker 3:

And it takes them a long time to eat breakfast.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so we are setting alarms now. I make sure at nine that they are up eating their breakfast. After they eat they're supposed to do their morning chores, get dressed and then be ready for us to go outside at 10. So we're going outside at 10. Like Carson said, some days we're staying out longer because we have been meeting a lot of people at the park. So if we're up there and they're having a blast, we're usually just pushing back school.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, we're happy to develop those relationships, both us with their parents and the kids with each other, and so we're, you know, pushing past that time schedule a little bit.

Speaker 1:

And we're much more flexible now because all of the homeschool stuff doesn't start until September. So though we're busy, busy, busy during the day, our afternoons are very nice, I feel like, because we don't have all the things yet. We started gymnastics last week, but everything else doesn't start. So I feel like it's nice that they get that interaction with the other kids before everything does start For start. So I feel like it's nice that they get that interaction with the other kids before everything does start.

Speaker 2:

For sure.

Speaker 1:

So we head to the park, we do that, and then we homeschool from 10 to 12. Right now, we're finding that's plenty. I don't think that the kids could really do more at this point, and they don't need to because we're even working ahead. So that's fine. Sometimes it takes less than that and we are dividing and conquering. So both of us are doing that. I've been getting that question a lot. If it's just me, no, both of us are stopping to do that. Then we all have lunch together as a family. We all clean up after that, clean up the kitchen, make sure everyone's chores got done, and then Carson and I work out. While we work out, the kids are supposed to have their quiet time, but they're doing reading. They have to read every single day for 30, 45 minutes. So they're doing that, which not only gives us a chance to get away from them, have a little bit of break and not be parenting at the moment, but they do need to read and then just be away from each other.

Speaker 3:

And we do need to work out, so it works out nicely.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I do like that. We have built that in our schedule because I feel like it's something that doesn't get missed, which a lot of times I was putting that on the back burner After that happens. This week and last week we've been pretty free after that, so, like one day, I got to sit down and read a book. This week you guys went golfing. The girls did start gymnastics, but that will be when we started doing all the activities, but for now, after about two, three o'clock, we're pretty, pretty free.

Speaker 3:

One day we got the homeschool room set up because we were still doing the kitchen table thing, which was fine, but it left a mess at all times, which makes my type A wife a little bit crazy.

Speaker 1:

We did talk about that on the last episode. Yes and I quickly ordered things to set up like homeschooling.

Speaker 3:

Well, we got it done. We hung pegboards on the wall with all the supplies and little storage things on there and we have a little desk for each kid. I think Taryn was talking about getting one long thing that could go on this wall and I was like, no, they're going to be fighting over space, he's crowding into my area. That's just how kids are.

Speaker 1:

The cutest little $30 desk on Amazon. It worked out really well, and two kids will be in here, and then if another kid needs a quiet space, then we'll just have them do it at the bar or something like that. So it's been working out much better. We'll just have them do it at the bar or something like that. So it's been working out much better. It just keeps the mess to a minimum and keeps everything where it needs to be, so we're not putting it on the table and removing it every single day.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that came up a lot on my Instagram posts was how in the hell can you teach your kids? Because my kids will not listen to me. And I did want to mention because we're here saying it's going so well. It's going so well and it is, but our expectations are not perfection. We had tears this week. We have a kid who doesn't like it when he doesn't understand something. In the first second we had a lot of attitude. It's not perfect by any means. I'm not expecting it to be perfect. I knew that would happen. I just remind them you don't have a choice. You have to be educated. So you chose to be homeschooled and we can do this in an hour or two and be done and we can move on to something else. Or you can go to school and do it for hours. So what is your decision? And they're like oh no, no, we want to homeschool.

Speaker 3:

None of them want to go back to school.

Speaker 1:

But we're their parents. They're going to feel way more comfortable complaining to us. They also complain about going to school every morning, so it's no different to me.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And that led me to think that we should probably talk about the incentives that we're using to make sure that they have good attitudes and they show up and they do their work for us. We have talked to them about doing a yes day at the end of the semester, and so they all have to work together for that, and I think in their heads they're wanting to go to Six Flags. All that's really required for them for a yes day is to have a good attitude, show up, do your best at school and, you know, not give us a lot of pushback and attitude, and I think they're doing really good. We have really good kids. We have really good kids. They're good kids. I'm not saying they're perfect, but they're good kids.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, they are. I mean, and they, if you just explain to them, look, I know it can be a little frustrating, but remember, you're usually sitting at a desk for six and a half to seven hours, I mean there. Yeah, there's PE and music breaks, but you know what I mean. You're, you're there for a long time. If you just buckle down and do this, you will get through it so fast and that usually helps. And yeah, we have. I mean, they all want to earn their reward.

Speaker 3:

We have other small incentives we do as well. I have I just have chat GPT make up a fake accelerated reader test, basically when they finish their books, to make sure that they are really reading. Because even though they love to read, there's a little bit of pushback on the chapter books with no pictures, and we're ready for them to increase their reading level. So we're like, okay, those graphic novels are for at night, when you're reading before bed, but you know, during your 30 to 45 minutes of reading time in the afternoon you really need to read these chapter books. Then chat GPT gives me 10 questions. If they get them all right, then they get $5. That's pretty good incentive as well.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they had a lot of incentive for reading at school. They love the AR program, so we wanted to do something similar at home. So we're doing that and, like Carson had said before, we're doing a fun Friday. So that's just based on the week, making sure everyone's doing their chores and doing what they're supposed to with homeschool, and then on the day-to-day behavior. I think we also brought up, we're doing the star chart. So, no, our kids are not perfect by any means, but I do think they're good kids. They do listen to us pretty well. We have one very spicy child. I'm sure everyone listening can relate. Everybody has one of those and we navigate that all the time, like she was spicy all summer and so, yes, we are dealing with that with her now too. I don't want anyone to think that it's just going like completely smooth sailing.

Speaker 3:

Oh no, and with the chores, I mean that's how they earn their fun Friday and they have different levels. I talked about that a little bit. So far they've got level one both times. That's the lowest level. I mean we had fun, we did some fun stuff, but they're mostly cheaper free options, like we went to the park and went to the splash pad and stuff like that. So you know, those are level one If they, if they do their chores all week without being told, except maybe one day, maybe they would get level two. That's like main event or something like that. And then level three would be something pretty extreme, like I don't know a water park or or an adventure park or of some sort.

Speaker 1:

And I think the first two weeks of them not doing it was more of just them getting in a routine. We're changing a lot of things on them homeschooling, and then all summer we've been working on them doing chores, them pulling weight in the house and they're still working on a lot of that, like they are expected to like wipe down the counters and stuff after they eat, and they're doing their own laundry. So they're. It's a lot of change. I think that it's just going to take.

Speaker 3:

Keep building that habit and if anybody thinks that they're getting those things done and it's just like this magical thing, like we have a little Cinderella doing all the work, just remember they're six, seven and 10. And so we're making them do these things, but a lot of times it's actually more work for us than if we just did it ourselves.

Speaker 3:

It is, so it's not some magical thing like oh, it'd be so great if my kids did that. It's not, we're doing it. So they'll learn how to do these things and maybe in a year or two they'll actually be able to do it without us overseeing it and fixing all the ways they do it wrong.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and they're getting better. The biggest change for me is the laundry. So I was doing laundry for everyone and then now our oldest, she can do laundry start to finish. I don't have to help her at all. That's magical our oldest, she can do laundry start to finish, I don't have to help her at all.

Speaker 1:

That's magical. And the little two they're doing theirs also. So we have a laundry day. If it's Monday, one person's doing their laundry Tuesday, somebody else has laundry day. My laundry day is Friday. So everybody is doing their laundry on laundry day and they start that in the morning and they just have to finish it by the time that we're winding down for the evening. So that has been life changing for me. It was a lot of work to teach them how to do it, but our 10 year old she's got it. She's got it down. I think doing it once a week is helpful because it's not like too much at one time. They kind of shut down if you wait for two weeks and they're like it's too much.

Speaker 3:

Right, yeah, and then it is a little overwhelming, and it's probably even though with the younger two you're still having to help them a lot it's still a little bit easier because, I mean, you're not having to sort and separate, because everyone has their own laundry day, and I think that makes it a little bit easier too.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely All right. Well, that's week two recap. Still going well, but not perfect. Let's talk about sports and socialization. What do you want to tackle first?

Speaker 3:

Well, I mean, let's talk about how our kids. You know, immediately when we decided to homeschool, they all stopped talking and they haven't socialized and they have no friends. Wait, that didn't happen.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's talk about socializationization. I want to start off by saying, because I don't want to be those people that are always like, okay, homeschool is the best no, that's not what we're saying it's.

Speaker 1:

Homeschool is great for a lot of people. Homeschool can't work for some people and homeschool won't work for some people that have jobs that it doesn't like. We get it. So with the socialization, and let's talk about that first School for socialization is great in so many ways.

Speaker 1:

We felt like our kids weren't getting the best socialization at school because of some of the things they are exposed to, because they're so little. However, I get it. You know Karen's going to say well, they need to be able to live in the real world, and I get that. But I do want to shelter my kids just a hair when they're in kindergarten. Ok, so we don't really necessarily like the socialization they were getting, but I don't think that it's a bad thing. I think you learn a lot at school, being around your peers and all of that. My biggest thing with it is that that takes up your whole day. Then you don't have anything left for all of the other very important things in life, like, for example, spending time with your parents or your sisters and brothers. So that's my biggest thing about it is that you're getting all of your socialization done at school, which there's an opportunity cost. You are choosing that over everything else. That's my biggest problem.

Speaker 3:

Right and yes, your emotional energy is gone at the end of the day and you're only socializing with people your own age, which is fine, but it's not what you end up doing when you are in the real world. I hate that term, but that's the term people are using when you're an adult.

Speaker 3:

Yes, let's just say that when you're an adult, yeah, I mean you start your job, maybe like somebody else starts the same day as you, and they're the same age and everybody else is vastly different ages. You need to be able to have conversations.

Speaker 3:

I mean I talked to some teenagers now and it's like they talk to each other and then, as soon as somebody older talks to them, it's they look panicked, they look scared almost, and I'm like, oh, am I, am I that scary? No, it's like even if anybody talks to them that's an adult. They seem like I don't know what to do and just to defend homeschoolers just a little bit.

Speaker 1:

Most of the ones that I have met are very pleasant to have a conversation with, very social, social, very outgoing look you in the eye all of that. They get a bad rap and that's not really fair.

Speaker 3:

No, and there's plenty of places to socialize outside of school.

Speaker 1:

Well, and that's what we should talk about today is what are the so many options that do bring socialization for your kids when you're homeschooling? Because you know, I was worried about that also, and now that we've kind of got into it and figured out what our plan for this first semester is, there are so many. There's a back to school bash for the co-op that we're joining and then the co-op is every Friday where they take classes and they're doing art class. On a specific day middle of the day, they're doing gymnastics. We're a specific day middle of the day, they're doing gymnastics. We're meeting a family with homeschoolers at the park almost daily. There's a little boy that lives beside us that comes over like every single day. Our kids are being like extremely social and it just doesn't fit into that box that everyone is used to, and you know, if they think our kids are weird, they were weird when they were schooled anyways, so they're just still weird.

Speaker 1:

They were always weird. They've been in public school and then before that daycare for years socializing. So if you think they're weird, if you meet them out in the wild and you think they're weird, they were always weird.

Speaker 3:

Some people are just weird. Yeah, they're just weird.

Speaker 1:

We should say unique. I like that better. Hey, I always say being weird is a good thing. I'm very different than a lot of people.

Speaker 3:

That's true.

Speaker 1:

And I think it's one of my best qualities.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, being weird is good. Normal is being broke and overweight. That is normal statistically speaking.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and I always tell the kids don't be normal, be other things. Yes, and you know I always tell the kids don't be normal, be weird. So, yes, they're probably already weird. I just want to say that, being on the other side of this, there are so many ways to socialize your children in a more intentional way. So, instead of it being all day like we're going to go on a hike with the homeschool group and we're going to spend a few hours with them on Fridays, every single Friday they're going to be in a co-op with kids their ages taking classes together. They're going to be with them, but it's not going to be in our entire day, and I like that because we have some time for family, some time for socializing and some time for a lot of other things that they want to do. We're not taking up our entire day socializing at school, so every single day we are socializing.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, every day.

Speaker 1:

The last thing that I wanted to talk about for the socialization was that one of the reasons why I wanted to homeschool was that there were certain things happening at school with just specific kids. I'm not saying all the kids were bad, but if my kid was around a child that was either bullying them or just a really bad influence, or things were happening over and over again. It was out of our control. It didn't matter. They could have like the worst year ever and all we could do was ask them to make a change and that necessarily didn't happen. I mean, there's all types of kids with all types of things going on, and it did happen to our kids where they are in a situation. I would have preferred they didn't have that influence in their life, but I didn't have a say so and I didn't like that.

Speaker 3:

No, I hated it. There were times where there was even you know, physical things happening at school that you know, I don't know, we couldn't do anything about it. I was ripping my hair out.

Speaker 1:

And if it's causing confidence issues with my kid, which happened or they are not wanting to go to school, that's not a positive social thing. That's not positive. I don't want them to have that Now, of course, they're going to have to learn about all types of people, but these are things that weren't okay with me. I want to pick and choose. You see, all this thing that says, like, how important the group of people that your children are hanging out with, make sure that your kids have good influences in their lives and that their friend circle is great, and you see all these things and parents agree, but you don't see it actually in place.

Speaker 3:

Right, well, and people say all the time whenever they're adults yeah, they're going to have to learn how to deal with people like that, so they need to practice. And I'm saying that this is what we're doing we're training them for how to deal with that. You don't be around people like that and some people might say, well, it's not that easy. It is that easy these days this isn't the days of everyone works in the local factory in town and that's the only job you can get. If you're in a workplace where there's somebody like that, you can report them, and if HR doesn't do anything about it and they still work there, then you can leave and go find another job.

Speaker 3:

Or if it's your boss that's doing that, you should leave and go somewhere else. And if it's outside of your place of employment, then that's just someone you choose not to be friends with. We can't control that. There's people there like this. So we're moving ourselves from the situation and I'm not saying that was the main reason why, or anything. I'm just saying that that is part of it.

Speaker 3:

It was part of it and I think it's a very valuable lesson that, hey, you can't control these people and you can't really attack them anymore these days, so the only solution really is to remove yourself from the situation.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I agree, and we had had talks over the years about if someone is doing this like, are they a good friend or not, and that you need to have supportive people in your life, loyal friends, and so we've talked to the kids about this a lot. We've had instances where we had to work through things, and we had a conversation this week with slate. He asked me if this boy that we met and we've been hanging out with was a good friend and I said absolutely, he's a wonderful friend, said he's so kind to you. He always has a smile on his face, he's kind to me and your sisters like he's a wonderful friend, said he's so kind to you, he always has a smile on his face, he's kind to me and your sisters like he's a phenomenal friend. You're so lucky to have him as a friend.

Speaker 1:

And his next question was well, I'm, am I a good friend to him? And I'm like what a wonderful, valuable lesson. And I'm like, absolutely, and the fact that he wants to be a good friend, that's what they should be learning at this age. They don't need to be learning just like the harshest life lessons, like you're gonna get kicked in the ribs at school. They need to be learning what it means to be a good friend.

Speaker 3:

For sure it actually shows a level of emotional maturity that I probably didn't have till I was in my 20s or 30s. I might still not have it. I don't know that I must still not have it.

Speaker 1:

I don't know that's not what we were taught, but I think it's a giant life lesson and the fact that he even knew to ask that question, I was like so proud of him.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, what a good kid.

Speaker 1:

Let's move on to the second topic today, which is sports. I don't think that we mentioned this yet, but one of our big changes this year was not only homeschooling, but also cutting back and changing what we're doing with sports. It just all seemed too much. So we're like let's just try it a year, like take off and not do all of the things that we've been doing and see how it feels. It doesn't mean it's like a long-term commitment, but we had been letting the kids pick one sport a season. But with three kids that means you have two practices per kid a week. So six practices a week and then three games on Saturdays. That's still a lot.

Speaker 3:

And the girls were still doing gymnastics outside of those sports and Slate was still doing ninja outside of those sports. So I mean, when we say that we were only letting them pick one sport, sort of, but we were also kind of letting them do two.

Speaker 1:

And the reason we were doing that is because that's what everyone else was doing, except those people were also letting them maybe do two sports plus all of the other things, and that could be ninja like Slay, or that could be private lessons. And I mean, compared to everyone else in our circle, we were doing the least amount.

Speaker 1:

Right and it still felt like a lot we were like this is awful, like why does everyone else thrive like this? And we feel like this isn't, this is enough, this is way too much. And you know to each their own, but for me it was horrible.

Speaker 3:

I mean, part of it might be. It was more work for us than for some, because Taryn was coaching volleyball and I was coaching two basketball teams Well, one, but assistant coaching another one and so you know we were more involved and there was a little bit more pressure on us than you know. A lot of the parents, I mean, they don't even go in for practice, they just drop their kids off and send them inside and they either go home and do something if they live close or sit in their car and look at their phone during practice. It's so much more work when you're the coach.

Speaker 1:

It's more pressure, more things to do coaches, meetings, things like that paperwork to be done before the games. We were just feeling like, okay, whatever we're doing is not working. So we need to just like burn it all down and start over and find something that works for us, because what is working for everyone else clearly isn't working for our family and for whatever reason that is, it just didn't feel right. So we're like, let's start over. And sports was a big thing. I played sports my whole life.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying that they're not important. I think they're important for so many reasons, but it's not the only important thing. And then when you have a big family, like we do, saying each kid yes means that you are taking away a lot of things from the other kid. So you have to really take it a case-by-case thing. And then if you have one kid, that's way more into all of that. Maybe they're doing select or something you can't say yes for the other two because there's not enough time, there's not enough parents to go around. So we aren't saying that sports aren't important, we're just saying they're not the most important thing. Once again, like if something's taking all of your time, you need to make sure that that is your value. Your core value is where you put your time.

Speaker 3:

Right. But if anyone's wondering okay, how can you play sports if you're homeschooled? Yes, there's so many ways to do it. There's specific homeschool leagues, places. There's leagues that have nothing to do with whether you're homeschooled or in public school or anything. Uh, there's, of course, there's the higher level leagues, which really don't care where you go to school. If you're, if you're talented, then you can play in those select baseball, select basketball, whatever.

Speaker 1:

Volleyball clubs. I mean, if your kid is super into sports, you're probably doing one of those things anyways, doesn't matter if you're homeschooled or not.

Speaker 3:

And now, as far as the ones that run through the schools a lot of times at the elementary age, you can still do those, even if you're homeschooled. Um, we did. We had a lot of homeschool kids playing in our league. Now in bigger cities Sometimes that's not going to be allowed and it seems like in in general. Now there might be exceptions, but in general, if you're in a small you know more rural area where it might be hard to get together enough people for an entire homeschool league, those are the places where you don't need to, where you can play with the kids that are in public school and all that. If you're in an area where they're a little more strict about it, then you're probably in an area that's a big enough city that they're gonna have that homeschool league available.

Speaker 1:

And here they do once they get to junior high. So they have sports through junior high through them. So you have to try out, you have to be good enough to make the team. It would be just like in junior high and it's from junior high up. So if our kids wanted that experience that you would be getting at school, they could do it through there. So all that to say.

Speaker 1:

If you are wondering if your kids can still do sports when they're homeschooled there's so many options. That's something you shouldn't even worry about. We are still doing some sports, but we're just making sure that we are really looking at the time commitment of each thing. We found like another basketball league that's through a church, right, and the kids are going to play in that. What we liked about it is not super competitive and some people like that. That's not for me. I don't. I'm not out there thinking that my kindergartner needs to be the best thing ever. I just want them to have fun and enjoy it, and we were getting to the point where there was some times that there was too much competition, too much pressure on the kids, that the kids weren't enjoying it, and I don't want that. I want them to enjoy playing.

Speaker 3:

You have to find a happy medium, because I also, I'm not putting my kids in any league that doesn't keep score. We're not talking about that.

Speaker 3:

We're not those kind of parents like they need. I mean, maybe not when they're four, but once they're old enough you know six or older, they need to know what it's like to win and know what it's like to lose. And sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. We keep score. We try our hardest to win, but what I always, when I was coaching, what I always taught the kids, was winning is better than losing, but losing is better than not playing at all. That's, I think that's the lesson that they need to take, and so that you don't throw a fit and get kicked out and not get to play at all or whatever. But you know, some of the adults need to learn that lesson because we have people the problem is the adults.

Speaker 3:

We have high school kids refereeing the games, and for you know what? 10 bucks an hour if they're lucky. And then these dads think they can cuss out these refs and that that's okay and that they're going to come back is Even the little tiny kids that play half court their parents are screaming in their faces yeah, it's nuts One time, lifting them up and pressing them against a wall and yelling in their face and I don't know, I don't get it.

Speaker 3:

And now I'm not saying that church people don't do stuff like that. But when you're playing in a church specific league, I think that for the most part, people are embarrassed to do things like that. But when you're playing in a church specific league, I think that for the most part, people are embarrassed to do things like that. They might feel that way, but they're going to like use more of their effort to choke it down. So I'm hoping that's what happens in this church league.

Speaker 1:

People are expecting you to act a certain way.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And it's not like that in every league. So I hope this is much better, because I just want my kids to find something that they enjoy and can play forever. Like you still play basketball. It's still one of the things that you really love to do as an adult, and maybe that's cross country or swimming or whatever it is. I'm not in it.

Speaker 1:

So they get like a college scholarship, like come on, this is everybody can't go do that and I don't want them to necessarily either. I mean, I want them to have a well-rounded look on life. So I want them to do sports for a lot of reasons, but I don't want it to be the whole center of their whole universe. So I think trying what we're doing this year will help with that and we can see how it goes, see if we feel better. But the positive thing of that is we're with them all day. So it's kind of nice to go to sports. You know we're going to have sports in the evenings but instead of just seeing them for a minute and then ushering them to sports after school, we spend the whole day with them and then it's like, yeah, on Saturday we're probably ready to get out of the house.

Speaker 3:

We're ready and they are too. I think that in the past when they were excited to sign up for these things. But then they get deep into the school year and they're there all day, and then they have sometimes after school extracurriculars already not including sports, and then they have to go to sports and it just starts to feel overwhelming. They feel like they're never home, they never get to relax.

Speaker 1:

I know that my daughter started to feel that way.

Speaker 3:

Slate wasn't even as busy as her but sometimes he felt that way because he needs a little bit more time to relax and unwind. But when they're home all the time, I think that they'll pick these things to sign up for and then they'll be looking forward to it. And then we'll be like, oh, I have to go do this, Cause they'll already have been home all day.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that is one of the best things out of all of this with the sports is that we are kind of looking forward to the practice they're looking forward to oh, we've got gymnastics today, that's what we're going to do today, and we get out of the house instead of. I was just like totally done with all of those things and didn't want to like chauffeur them around, and I hated feeling that way whenever I felt like everyone else was like excited to do it. But I think we were just overcommitted and now we'll be able to let them do that. On hopefully a less serious note. Well, I think that was all of the things we wanted to get out for today. Was there anything else on your mental list that you wanted to talk about?

Speaker 3:

No, we covered everything.

Speaker 1:

All right. Well, if you haven't done so already, we would really appreciate if you left us a review on our podcast. We are growing, but the only way that someone else hears about us is if you share it like it, and then they'll push it to more people. If you've left a review, so please do that Until next time. Thank you so much for listening to.

Speaker 3:

Well, this Wasn't the Plan podcast.

Speaker 2:

We work really hard on this podcast. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss a single podcast episode. Thank you, have a good day.