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Well This Wasn't The Plan!
We never expected to homeschool...but here we are! Life is funny that way, ya know?
After 4 years in public school, we've made the unexpected leap into homeschooling our 3 kids--while still working full-time! On this podcast, we're documenting the journey in real time: the good, the hard, the hilarious, and everything in between.
Whether you're a curious parent, a fellow homeschooler, or just here for the chaos, welcome!
Let's figure it out together--because sometimes the best things start with, "Well, that wasn't the plan..."
Well This Wasn't The Plan!
15. Life Skills We're Teaching Our Kids - Part 1
We share the life skills that we get to teach now that we homeschool! Wins, stumbles, templates, and the small habits that build real responsibility.
• moving to a new city and practicing friend-making on purpose
• weekly meal planning with kid choices and a shared grocery list
• kids cooking and cleaning entire meals to see consequences
• balanced nutrition using a simple protein carb fat chart
• kids packing their own bags with personalized checklists
• family cleaning day with roles, sequencing and teamwork
• assigned laundry days with start-to-finish ownership
• handling perfectionism and celebrating real progress
• reading milestone using TheReading.com app and simple routines
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The phone we have with NO social media and NO internet browser!
Because I think a lot of times, especially when you have older kids, they just don't realize what is going into a meal, but they are at the age that they should start seeing the work that other people do.
SPEAKER_00:And this one's a lot more important than I think people realize on the surface because there's so many aspects to this skill that will improve your life when you're older.
SPEAKER_01:We are two full-time working parents who just made a crazy decision.
SPEAKER_00:After four years in public school, we're homeschooling our three kids and documenting the whole thing.
SPEAKER_01:Never in a million years did I think we would be homeschool people.
SPEAKER_00:Welcome to, well, this wasn't the plan podcast.
SPEAKER_02:I'm Slate, and school's in the kitchen now. I'm Scotty. We just got when I say so. I'm Sailor, and this whole podcast was my idea.
SPEAKER_00:This podcast is our real-time journey, unexpectedly juggling homeschool, jobs, parenting, and everything in between.
SPEAKER_01:Follow along each week as we document how it's going and share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because we know some days are going to be ugly and we're not holding back.
SPEAKER_00:We're learning to expect the unexpected. So let's get into it.
SPEAKER_01:Let's go. Good morning. We have a really fun episode. I'm excited about this one today because we're going to talk about all of the life skills that we're teaching that we never really had the opportunity to. And it's been one of like the most fun things we've done, the most rewarding things, and one of my favorite things that we've got to do because we've homeschooled.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and actually, this is something that a lot of people have really enjoyed seeing. You've you've mentioned some things about it on your social media. I think is it MySpace again? I keep forgetting Frintster.
SPEAKER_01:It's MySpace. Yeah. Carson doesn't do social media in case anyone is wondering, which which I do love that about him, but he's not on Instagram. But I have a series now, and it is life skills, and it is just blowing up. So I'm running with it. It is so fun to like think, okay, what do our kids need to learn to set them up for life? And that we actually have the time to do it. So if you haven't checked out that series, it's been doing really well. And we're going to talk about all of those videos now.
SPEAKER_00:And in general, even before we thought about homeschooling, I was already of the opinion that, okay, we have contracted out some academic learning, math, reading, history, whatever, to the schools, right? To public schools or private schools. And a lot of people feel like, oh, well, they need to teach this in school, they need to teach that in school. And even at the time, I was like, I don't think so. I think we've already farmed out more than they can handle. Even if your kids are going to go to school there, we shouldn't start adding more things. That's that's our job. In fact, our job is to teach our kids everything. And if we utilize a school to teach them reading and math, that's that's fine. But it's still ultimately your responsibility. And that goes with all of the life skills as well. I don't think we can get mad that the school hasn't taught them how to drive, how to do laundry, taught them sex ed. I don't know that I'd want the school teaching them sex ed.
SPEAKER_01:I get that, but I've also seen the flip side of it is that there's just not enough time of the day. I used to be completely on board with you as like, okay, well, that's not the school's thing. That's not the school's thing. But they have all of your time. That's the problem.
SPEAKER_00:That's true. There's not time left for those things. So it is, it is nice that you know we have the time to do that almost any day of the week.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, time is what we needed, and I don't want the school teaching them those things. So now we have that, and today we're gonna talk about all the ones we've done so far. But first, let's do a recap of the week and how things are going. And really, just to sum it up for me, it's going amazing. Like it's just getting so much easier. I don't even really think about it. We just are in a really good routine. We sit down, everybody knows what is expected of them to be able to start, finish their lessons, and be done with school. And they have really good attitudes. I never would thought I would be sitting here saying this, but it's just so easy.
SPEAKER_00:And it's surprising to say that because yes, it is getting easier, but even when we first started, we felt like, and everything was brand new, and that's when it was the hardest, it was still easier than school.
SPEAKER_01:Easier than school, but you know, when you do something new, you always feel like this is hard because you've never done it. But now we are just a few months in. I'm like, man, this is so easy. Like when people tell me, like, well, you're just doing so much, or like working and homeschooling stuff. I don't know how you do that. Like, it's not really hard. It really isn't. And I think there's things that contribute to that. Like we're using the good and the beautiful, it requires nothing of us. And I think you could homeschool in a completely different way that maybe feels a little bit more burdensome because you're doing so much work, but we're not. We know that we just sit down and flip to the next lesson and then I start reading whatever it's gonna tell me to read.
SPEAKER_00:And I mean, they're still at the age that all of the things that we're supposed to be teaching them, almost all at least, are, you know, we're still really comfortable with. So, but the book tells us how to teach it to them in a way that they'll understand because it is hard sometimes to, you know, explain, you know, adding where you have to carry the one, you know, where you have to regroup, I think is what they call it now. I mean, it's it's hard to even remember those terms, but it's all right there in the book. It's like tell the kid this.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it makes it really easy for you. So I think we picked a good curriculum that works for us. We had a really huge win this week because Scotty finished her reading lessons, and it's the app that we've talked about so many times on here, but she finished the last reading.com app lesson, and it was a really big deal because she got a certificate and she now officially is on a second grade reading level as a first grader.
SPEAKER_00:Which is amazing because she was behind probably where she needed to be reading-wise when we was behind 100% before we started homeschooling, and so not only did she catch up, she went way past all the way the entire grade that she's supposed to be in now, reading-wise. So she did all 99 lessons. We're super proud of her. She got an a reward, she got to go to Barnes and Noble and pick out a ton of books that we bought her, and so that was fun for her.
SPEAKER_01:It was such a huge deal for all of us. I love that both of the other two were cheering her on. Slate wanted to stop and come in there and cheer her on on the last like book that she had to read. And it was just she she was so proud of herself, and it just made that like so much better. And I think that sometimes that's what happens in public school is that reading isn't made fun to where they want to do it, and it's like pushing them, and then it's like, oh, reading's not fun. But this made her like push herself, and she was so proud of herself.
SPEAKER_00:And it doesn't go too far into the you know, the app things outside of the lessons. You know, we noticed that with when we tried Me Academy, there were rewards for logging in, and it they got really extensive, really complicated, where you could, you know, you could buy a dragon egg and build a castle and all this stuff for all your earnings that you had for doing school, which I like that they're trying to motivate kids. It's just got to be so much. But this is just it, the layout's real nice, it's real simple, but it's still like it shows you your progress every time you log in. That you know, you start, it's like a path from lesson one to lesson 99, and you travel that path and it shows how far you've gone and you earn little like characters on there and stuff as you go. And so I think that helps keep kids motivated.
SPEAKER_01:And it's simple, it is not stimulating like or overstimulating. That is when they have words on the page, it's just black and white. So it's an app that I can get behind, and I will link it in the show notes if you want to check it out because I tell everyone about this app. I love it so much. Even if you have a kid in public school, get the app and do it at night when you're supposed to be reading and just commit to the 10, 15 minutes that it takes. It's amazing. So let's move on to the other two kids. Carson just wanted to update on how they're doing, and then we'll get into the episode.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and Sailor's doing great. You know, she gets through her lessons and she does a lot of it on her own now. And then, you know, we just she knows when to call us. It's like this part the parent has to help with, or I don't understand this part, and so can you come explain it to me? And so it's working really well, and she even, you know, helps the other two a little bit when when they need it, which she loves.
SPEAKER_01:She oh yeah. She wants to be a teacher like the teacher, so that's work works out really well for us.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, so that that's been fun. So she's doing great with all that, and then Slate, you know, he did we got to uh it's basically like a test, they call it a section review in the program. And since we always say we'll talk about that, we're not experts necessarily yet, we're talking about the victories, but also the the uncertainties that we have and along the way and everything. And this is one, I mean, you know, we had this back when he was in school. He gets on his report card hundreds on math, and then he gets like a 98 in language arts. He's like, Oh, I'm not good at language arts. And he, same thing on this section review, he missed like one question. And on the math test, he never misses anything. And he's like, Oh, like I guess I'm just not good at language arts. I'm like, okay, that would have been like a 98 or a 99 would have been your grade on this, because it's a long test. And I don't know really. I'm still trying to figure out how to find the balance of what kind of what level of perfectionism should I allow? I'm not trying to instill that in them. That seems, you know, borderline abusive when people are that extreme as parents, but you know, also what how much should I take away from him if there's some of that inherent in him? Because the people that are great in this world, I mean, have a level of perfectionism that probably isn't that healthy.
SPEAKER_01:So I think if it's coming from him, it's completely fine. Now we did what we were supposed to do. He was like, I'm so dumb. Like, I can't believe I got a 97. And of course, we were like, No, you did amazing. Like, that's you know, we did what we were supposed to do, but his drive of wanting to be really good at math and really good at reading and really good at everything. I love that, and I don't think you should squash it. I also don't think that you should put it on your child.
SPEAKER_00:Right. You don't want to put that kind of pressure, but also I'm like, I don't know, maybe I mean, and he could have got a hundred. He really could have if he would have checked his work better, because he knew the answer, you know. So I'm like, I don't know. I mean, maybe I should be like, yeah, I mean, you probably should have got a hundred, but no, I didn't say that.
SPEAKER_01:He is seven and he has very little experience taking tests. Right. This is setting them up to slowly get them used to testing. Like we we were supposed to tell him, like, okay, we can't help you, do your best, and then we'll go back and see what you need to work on. But you know, you need to sit in here in a quiet room and do as best as you can. So we did a little bit of like, okay, this is different than your normal work. And but that's it. Like, so what he missed one. Who cares?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I don't care at all. I just I don't know how to handle the fact that he cares so much. Like, what kind of perfectionism do you want to let them keep?
SPEAKER_01:And yes, so as a person that has that, I have that for sure. I think it's a good quality to have. I just don't think that if your kid doesn't have it, you should be trying to make them happy. Yeah, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_00:I I had it too, but I didn't have it to an unhealthy degree. And I think that's probably how most kids will be that that have that in them, as long as the parents don't push it to an unhealthy level. I had friends like that that had parents like that, and and you can see the difference. But for me, it was more like I get back a test with the 98, I look at what I miss, and I'm I'm looking at it pretty hard, like, oh, like surprised that I missed it, and what what can I fix? And then I understand, and then I move on. It's not the end of the world. I'm not mad about it. But you know, I think that that's fine. That's a healthy level of perfectionism.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and we probably all have that to a degree. It's just in different aspects of your lives. Yours might not be in that, but I think that it's completely fine. So are you ready to start the let's start talking about life skills? All right, life skills. The first one that came up for us because we just bought a house in a new city and we don't really know anyone here, and we need to get out and make friends, and we don't know homeschool people, was making new friends. And this one seems like maybe one of the less obvious ones, but it is probably the skill that I wish most I had as an adult because I came from a very small school where I went to to school with the same kids kinder through graduation. Never in my life did I have to make a friend. They were there my whole life. You know, I don't even remember when we met. We just they were just there. So when I got to college, it was very difficult. I had a really, really hard time in college the first few years because my entire life was derailed. And then I didn't have that skill of sitting by someone new and what do I say? What do I do? Like, do you know, do I invite them? I never had that like stress about making a friend, and I didn't make friends for a while. So that is a huge life skill that we're working on, and I think it comes naturally for some people and not so much for others.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think that and Taryn would probably say that I'm better at it than her because I'm I'm more sociable, maybe, I'm less shy, but that's not the same thing. I can get friendly with anybody and I can find common ground with almost anybody because I have so many interests, but it's still not that easy. It's making a friend is a different thing. You know, that's how do you go from a guy I just talked to at this football game about something we're both interested in for 30 minutes, to hey, let me get your number. It's almost like you're dating, you know, like let me get your number and let's hang out or whatever. I mean, that's that like last step is really hard, even, you know, even for me, and I'm not nearly as shy as Taryn is, but I don't know, it's hard.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, making friends is hard. And I read a book recently, I loved, and she talked about the big shift in your life. And she basically said how you need that skill because every person has the big shifts. It's when you go to college, it's when you get relo relocated somewhere for a job or you move out to a new city, like all of those things, you have them, right? And at that time, you have to make new friends and you have to establish yourself. And a lot of people don't have that skill. So what we're doing to help the kids with that was I was just intentional with them saying, like, this is what mom struggles with. And it's really hard to make new friends sometimes if you're not intentional. So what we did was when we got here, we went and got like a wagon and a bunch of like little toys, and we went to the park every single day.
SPEAKER_00:And we still do almost every day.
SPEAKER_01:We still do when we're here, and they're like, Why? Why do we go to the park every day? I'm like, because you have to get out and go where people are, you have to do that. And we brought fun things so that people would come to us, which made it a little bit easier. We have one kid that's very shy, so that was really a lot easier for him because people came up and were like, Hey, can I play with whatever he was playing with? But then when we got there, Sailor, who's very social, she was like, Okay, mom, there's two moms over there, go say hi. And I was cringing. I was just like, Sailor, I don't want to, I don't want to. And she's like, Mom, you said, and so I did. And I said, Hey, do you you know, do you guys live here? And I had to tell myself like what I was gonna say before I got there. And long story short, those are the two women I still talk to, and I walk with one of them, you know, multiple times a week. We go for a walk, and our kids we meet out of the park, and that has been so amazing for our family, that one relationship. Had we stayed in our home and not put ourselves in those situations, and had I not got uncomfortable, that would have never happened. So, what we're doing is just showing them what to do and talking about it a lot because that's just not something that we talked about in my home. And our son is the one who's like, Mom, I'm not very good at making friends. And we've had a lot of conversations the last few months where I say, I'm not either, bud, like I am working on it because we need those people in our lives, and here's what we're gonna do. And so there's been a few times where he has said he wants to go say hi to someone and I've talked him up and he did it. So I feel like we're making progress. That's good, and we're working on that together.
SPEAKER_00:And it's it's different for everyone, but I think it is easier in general if you do start that when they're younger, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Everything is easier when you start when you're younger.
SPEAKER_00:Our oldest is already, you know, she's really good at making friends and very outgoing, and still like she's already to the point where she's like a little shy to go talk to a stranger that, you know, is playing in the park that looks like she's maybe her age. Whereas, you know, with our youngest, she's still at the point where she'll just run up to someone that's her age and be like, Hi, I'm Scotty, what's your favorite color? Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I think that anything that you start younger is easier on you. So we're just gonna keep working at this. I'm gonna get better at it, but I'm stuck in my ways, you know, so it's gonna be harder for me. But for like Slate, he is gonna have so many more skills in this area than I did just because we were intentional about it.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And, you know, it's also important to note that what this taught them is going to the park to meet people, it helps teach them to meet the kind of people you want to be friends with too.
SPEAKER_01:Where the people are that you want to be with.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, exactly. And that's a skill you need to learn as you get older. Because yeah, I mean, they're not going to go in people's houses that are sitting on their iPads or whatever, but that's not the kind of friends that we want them to make. We want them to make people that want to be outside and play outside and play board games and and read books, like that kind of thing, you know, not people that spend all day on a screen. So, and it's the same, I mean, that translates to adults. I mean, you might get lucky and go to a bar and meet somebody that is only there once a year and you're only there once a year, but more likely if you make friends at a bar, they're gonna be people that go to the bar all the time. And if that's what you like, I'm not judging. Hey, I'm not anti-alcohol. I'm just saying that if you're the kind of person that wants to, you know, do triathlons or do Spartan races or whatever, then you probably need to join a running club instead of making friends at the bar.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. So I think this did also stem from I think a podcast you listened to where they were trying to make new friends, and so the dad just went outside every day, and they wanted to make friends with people that got their kids outside.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. That was Mike Matthews with Muscle for Life, and he moved to Florida and he said that he has a van too, I think. So it was even funnier. At least it wasn't a white panel van. But he was like, I'm always literally driving around the neighborhood in my van looking for kids.
SPEAKER_01:I need to make friends for my kids. I need the ones that are outside.
SPEAKER_00:He said, At least my kids were in the van with me, and we were like, okay, if if we see kids outside playing, we're gonna know that those are the kids that you know are are good match to be friends with my kids.
SPEAKER_01:So well, I love that because I think that's what sparked this whole life skill. And when you're homeschooling, you do have to make new friends when you pull your kids from school, and that's just this whole new thing. So part of this whole homeschooling is making friends with people that you actually align with. The next life skill that we've been working on, and I think this is a big one, is planning for meals and all of the things that goes into feeding a family or feeding yourself if you don't have kids, and that is planning the meals out with a list, shopping for all of the things that you need for that week, cooking the meals, and cleaning everything up. Because I think a lot of times, especially when you have older kids, they just don't realize what is going into a meal, but they are at the age that they should start seeing the work that other people do.
SPEAKER_00:And this one's a lot more important than I think people realize on the surface, because there's so many aspects to this skill that will improve your life when you're older. You will probably eat healthier. That's one thing. Just eating at home is almost always healthier than eating out, but you'll save a lot of money because eating at home is always cheaper than eating out, even if you eat fast food. And it will probably even save you time. I mean, if you do drive-thru, it might be a little faster than cooking and cleaning up. But honestly, even with the cooking and cleaning that we do, going out to eat anywhere these days, it's so crowded, it takes so long to get a table that it's faster. So you'll save time, money, and unhealthy calories just by learning this life skill.
SPEAKER_01:And the way that we've been doing this is we sit down once a week, ours is on Sunday, and we have a list that I typed up all of our like family meals that we love. And I kind of put them into categories and have like a list so that we don't have to think about it, and the kids help us pick what we're gonna have. So Sailor might be like, I'm really wanting spaghetti this week. And Slate's like, Oh, we want to have burgers on the grill. So we all kind of pick something and we make the list. Okay, this is what we're having Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, et cetera. And we have to make our breakfast and lunch one now that they're at home all the time. So we do all of that, and then we make sure that we're kind of rotating between our pretty big list. I think I have like at least a month worth of every single meal. So we pick, and then we I took the kids to the grocery store, and then they had to help get all of the groceries, and then I made them load them, and then I made them unload the groceries and put them all away. And then during the week, we've helped made them help cook and then clean up, but more specifically, we've made them do it like basically by themselves. So the girls did one meal together and where they did like everything with with my help, and then Slate did one night where he made everything and Carson helped. And then this week, because they're getting better in the kitchen, the girls like basically made the meal start to finish. And I just sat there and like critiqued them, and that they served me. And I was like, wait, you didn't give me my my salad, or oh, I I need my water. You didn't give me a fork. Can you get me a napkin? And like, so they got a really big kick out of it because they were like serving me and I was acting like them. And I think it really did help them realize like this is a lot of work because they were Sailor was like running around the kitchen and she was like, Scotty, no, don't do that. And like she just felt like she had so many jobs to do. And then at the end of it, she sat down, and that's when I started saying, like, oh, I need this, I need this, and so she got up like 14 times. And so we did all of that, and then afterwards, they had to help clean everything up, and we like vacuumed the floors from all the crumbs, we wiped the counters, we did the dishes, like everything. And they're like, That was a lot, and like, yeah, that is what we do every day, and it's a lot of work, and feeding a family is a lot of work, and you get better as you go, and I think it was such a good thing that they have learned, and it's probably one of the things they're gonna use the most in their whole life.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, you have to eat every day, usually multiple times. So, and you know, one thing I want to note real quick about all that is that we're also teaching this to Slate. This she said the girls, that was because me and Slate were at swim. Yeah, yeah. He's Slate's learning that too. We do we don't do ginger role things in our house. Okay. I didn't want to, I didn't want the haters to start getting us, but yes, everybody does this.
SPEAKER_01:This just kind of they did more of a do-it themselves this week because we've already done where they did help. And it was something that they did like spaghetti. So they browned the meat, they did the noodles and all that, and they made salad. So it's pretty simple. But Slate will also have to do that himself. But that's kind of how we're teaching that specific life skill.
SPEAKER_00:And what does that mean as far as how far along are they? Well, I don't know that we're ready to let say they're completely cook a meal without us, you know, in the kitchen watching at least, even though she could probably do it start to finish. But she does every morning, not every morning, several mornings a week, she will get up and make scrambled eggs for everyone. And her scrambled eggs are probably better than mine and Taryn's.
SPEAKER_01:They are definitely better than mine.
SPEAKER_00:And I mean, we're not even in there, you know, and she gets she does that, maybe heats up. We we have like microwave, you know, chicken sausages and then some fruit, and she gets all that out. And she's 10. When I was 18, I had to teach myself how to make eggs, and I did not do it well for a really long time, not as nearly as good as Sailor does now. And I was making like dry, crappy, scrambled eggs because I was cooking it way too hot. I didn't know how to do it right, nobody was there to tell me. And, you know, there, I mean, but when I was a kid, there was no time to learn stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01:And my parents didn't teach me how to cook at all. We were just lucky if we had food to cook, and it was usually something pretty simple, like we had a lot of ramen noodles and things like that. So both of us have had to learn a lot about cooking, and that's just one thing that we hope our kids are good at is cooking. But what I think comes from all of this and all of these life life skills that we're talking about today is that the responsibility and taking responsibility for yourself and for your things. We have too many kids right now that don't do that because their parents do everything for them. And is that sweet in some sense? Absolutely, but you're not doing them a favor doing everything for them and not giving them any purpose or drive or responsibility or understanding that they are a team and a household and that they don't get everything that they want when they want it and everything done for them. I think that is one of the biggest things from this is those types of things that they're getting out of it. And when I walk in and I see Sailor taking the initiative to get out the pan, crack the eggs, make this meal for her brother and her sister without someone telling her to do it. I'm so proud because we are miles ahead of where we were a few months ago.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's amazing. And a lot of those things that we do whenever we do things for our kids that we should start letting them do some for themselves. It that's one of the hardest habits to break because it comes from a place of love. Like it's easy to tell yourself, no, I shouldn't yell at my kids. That's coming from a place of anger and I need to stop. But should I stop, you know, waiting on my kids hand and foot? I mean, you should. But it's hard because yes, that's coming from a place of love and sometimes from a place of convenience, because in the beginning, when you have them do stuff, it's actually harder than if you just do it yourself. But it will pay off whenever they can do it for real themselves.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, this is a really hard lesson to teach them as a parent because you need a lot of patience. But for me, looking at it as this is what I'm teaching my kids today, it made it easier for me to be patient. So when we went to the store, I wasn't in the mode of we have to get out of here as quickly as possible. I've got things to do. We had a list and I just followed them around. I was thinking this is a teaching moment, right? And then when we got home, I wasn't distracted by something else. I was like, okay, the next step I'm gonna do is have them unload all these groceries and put them all away. So I slowed down a little bit more. So I think coming from a place of I'm going to teach my kid this thing, you can be more patient. And you do have to work with the growing pain. So we're there's a few more on my list, and I can already think that there's a lot of those that that's the reason the parents don't do it.
SPEAKER_00:And one more pro tip on this is have one kid at a time, you know, in the beginning that you're teaching, and do the cooking and the cleaning on the same day for the same kid. Because a lot of people are like, oh, if you cook, you shouldn't clean. I disagree. Have them do both so that they can see, yeah, if you want to use 14 mixing bowls and three skillets and that's the kind of meal you want to make, it's a it's a more extravagant meal. That's great. But there's a consequence to that, and there is a beauty to the simple one-pot meal. Maybe they're not as tasty, but the cleanup's a lot easier. And same goes for how messy you are when you're preparing the meal. Because, you know, there's times that I make a huge mess, and but I gotta pay the consequence for it. And there's times that I'm very neat as I and then the cleanup is really easy. So I think that that's a life skill, too. You know, you need sometimes you don't have four hours to cook and clean, and you need to know like I need to be neat and clean, I need to make a one pot meal so that we can get done because we have a baseball game or we have whatever tonight.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and the cooking part is the fun part. Most kids like to cook or they're very interested to get in there because it's fun, right? The cleaning part isn't the fun part. No, but that's just Something that they need to learn, and that's very important. And I think what you said, we didn't mention when we first started all this, we could not have two kids in the kitchen, so it had to be one kit.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And it's still a lot like that. But we're experimenting, like I let the girls do it together. But for the most part, because of how much patience it takes on your part not to be like, don't crack the egg that way. Oh my god, what are you doing? You made a mess. You got to have one kid at a time because we tried it when they were younger. We knew we wanted to teach them to be really good in the kitchen. We would get them, try to make cookies. It was a disaster. Like every time it was a disaster, and my blood would be boiling. So we had our new role, and the new role was one kid in the kitchen at a time, and maybe every like Monday is Sailor's Day to help with the meals, you know. So do it that way if you are listening to this and thinking, no, I'm gonna pull my hair out. We know. So try one kid at a time because that that becomes like something that's fun, and you get a lot more patience that way from yourself.
SPEAKER_00:And it's good quality time too.
SPEAKER_01:For sure. Okay, the next one on our list is learning how to make a balanced meal. And this is one we actually did before when they were in school too. We have always been very proactive and focused on teaching them about nutrition and food and not just being like, no, candy's bad, whatever. We want them to know about food and what's in things and the nutrition behind them and what's a protein, what's a fat, what's a carb, what do you need to eat to feel better, what makes your blood sugar, like all of those things we've been teaching them forever. But the way that we have been teaching them from the time that they were, I don't know, maybe four or five and up is we have a little chart and I can link that in the show notes, and it teaches them how to make a balanced meal, which we used to use just for their lunches. So we used to get them involved really early on packing their school lunches because from our experience, if you get them involved, they're more interested in eating that food. So if they packed carrots, they're gonna eat those carrots. If you pack them carrots, they're not gonna eat the carrots.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And then they would usually put something in there, like either ranch or hummus to dip their carrots in. But I mean, at least they're eating their vegetables.
SPEAKER_01:And that that's always been fine. We just want them to have a meal, like they would make a meal or lunch, and I would be like, okay, but what are you missing? And that's why the chart came in and Taylor, like, oh, forgot to pack a protein.
SPEAKER_00:I need a protein, you need a carb, you need a fat.
SPEAKER_01:And the chart has ideas for each. So this all kind of came from the lunch packing, so it has really easy ideas for a protein for maybe they're taking Greek yogurt that day for their protein or something like that. So that's how they slowly learned. And to this day, if they're starting to make their own meals, like Sailor will make a snack or something, and I'll be like, hey, look at this and tell me what's missing. And she'll be like, Oh, forgot a carb. And it's not coming from a place of calories or not wanting them to be overweight, or this food is bad, and whatever. Like, we don't talk about calories, carbs aren't bad in our house, like anything like that. No, it is coming from a place of feeling your best, fueling their bodies. They are doing a lot, they do tons of activities and sports and making sure they get enough protein and knowing what that is, because I had a ton of blood sugar issues a few years ago, and I had to learn all of this as an adult.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_01:And so now they know that they know more than I did a few years ago, and they're all 10 and under. So that's what this is coming from. And it really has paid off for us, I think, in so many different ways because they are advocates for healthy eating and not in a bad way. Like they are like, yeah, I think maybe one cupcake is a good number. Uh well, look at that. My five-year-old knows that a cupcake, one cupcake is good. And, you know, they are asking to have some extra protein after they have like a hard workout or something, and things like that. Things that I'm seeing that are like, yes, I wish I had this when I was your age.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. And that is, like Taryn said, it's coming from a place of not, oh, this is unhealthy, this is healthy, this is too many calories or any of that. It's coming from a place of you need this rounded meal because if you want your muscles to grow, you need the protein. If you want your brain to work at max capacity, you need carbohydrates, and if you want your organs to function properly, you need enough fats. So you gotta have all three, usually in every meal, but definitely every day, you need to have all of them.
SPEAKER_01:And for us, our rule is every meal has to have a fruit and or a vegetable. So they don't have a vegetable for breakfast, but all the other meals have both fruits and vegetables. And so they know even if we have like pizza delivery, we're not weird. We, you know, still eat things like that sometimes. Then we pull out some apples and stuff and it goes with it, or we get some carrot sticks and stuff.
SPEAKER_00:So they usually eat salad with their pizza. So they they choose that. They ask us to. I mean, sometimes I don't even want to because I'm gonna have to pay$9 for pizza place salad that's gonna suck anyway. But they want it, so I get it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so they those little habits have just paid off. And I this is just gonna be one of the most important skills, once again, that they use multiple times a day. I think if you're gonna focus on any of these, this is such an important one. And when I posted this on my Instagram, a lot of people said, I'm an adult and I don't know this. Can I use this chart myself? Absolutely. Learn together. This is the time. Like, if this is you saying that, here's your little sign. Do it, print it out. It's free PDF and work on it together. Next time, and the chart even says, like, why do we need a fat? This is the reason. These are the things, these are the organs that use this, and why do we need a protein? It says all of those things. So you can teach your kids without even having to learn anything beforehand. Just print it off and go through it with them.
SPEAKER_00:And I think some people feel like, oh, you shouldn't make them think about food choices that much at a young age. And I say the opposite. We don't want them to have to think about it as adults, and you won't have to. If the whole time you're learning how to eat, how to choose foods, you're using these principles. Then by the time you're an adult, you know, doing this will be the same as walking. It's just natural. And and eating a meal that doesn't have all of those components would be like hopping on one foot instead of walking normally.
SPEAKER_01:That's a huge pet peeve of mine. When people a lot of people would make fun of our kids' lunches, and I feel like hummus was always the thing that put them over the edge for the five. But they like they love hummus, they have always loved hummus. So I would send hummus cups, and the kid, the teachers would be like, I don't know how you get those kids to eat that. Like, you know, they should probably be eating kids' foods. And I totally disagree. I mean, can they have pizza and sac and cheese and things? Yes. But kids turn into adults. This is not a problem that they need to kick down the can for later when they're an adult. Kids will be adults. That's why we give them skilled skills now so that they can take those and make good choices as adults. Why is eating and preparing foods and eating foods any different? Like, why are our kid meals absolute shit whenever they should just be normal freaking food? Like it's such a pet peeve of mine. I could have an entire episode on this, but I will stop it.
SPEAKER_00:Having the term kid food is just bad in general. It's not kid food, it's just food.
SPEAKER_01:It's food. And well, and it's a reason why we can't really order off the kids' mills most of the time because it's the same. And our kids have said that. So we'll be like, Mom, it's chicken fingers or a burger or grilled cheese again. Like, I don't want that. He wants like salmon or something.
SPEAKER_00:Or steak or ribs or whatever.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, he wants something different. And he's right, every single kid mill for the most part is the same, and it's the same crap over and over, and it comes with a side of fries.
SPEAKER_00:Like or even one of the exceptions is they have steak bites at, you know, a lot of steakhouses for kids, and they call it steak bites. And yeah, I mean, our kids have got kind of bougie on their steak, but they they give you the crappiest quality steak and cut it up real small and cook it for the kids, and the kids don't want that either, so we're having to order off the grown-up menu.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and that is just the tip of the iceberg to a giant problem we have in our country. And look, we are setting kids up to fail. Look at the kids' menus. We can start right there. Look at things are serving in schools and everything else. So we have always from day one been very passionate about this. I had some eating issues in college. We've both had issues to figure out, and we didn't want our kids to have those issues. So right now we are just dialing in all of that. And I think the next step of this is just getting them in the kitchen so that they're really comfortable preparing veggies and things like that. Like Sailor has just discovered she loves roasted broccoli, and so now she knows how to prepare things that are good for her to eat, which we didn't know when we when we were like 25.
SPEAKER_00:So Yeah, I don't think I started eating broccoli till I was like, yeah, 25, 30.
SPEAKER_01:Because you were like, I know broccoli's healthy, so I'm gonna try it.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_01:All right. The next skill that we have is that we've been working on is packing their own bags for trips. And this all started because Carson didn't pack his own bag until we had three kids.
SPEAKER_00:And she Taryn finally told me, like, I'm not packing for five people, you're gonna have to pack yourself.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I used to pack his bag to go places, and it was because he would always forget something like super important, and I was like, I'll just pack it for you.
SPEAKER_00:How important is underwear really?
SPEAKER_01:Very important. And he would forget like deodorant, or the next time he'd be like, Oh, I forgot my toothbrush. And finally, I was like, Look, I'll do it. And you know, he's like, You're better at it than me because like you think about what we're gonna do on the trip, and then you pack accordingly, and I'm like, Yeah, that's kind of how it works. So, what has happened in the past, just because we travel a lot as a family, and I have to get things down to a science if I'm going to be, you know, taking kids all over the world and making sure we have everything that we need, is I created a like a packing list. So we started there, but now that the kids are older, I made them a packing list and they have a checklist, and all that I need to do is put the little numbers in it, so it'll say like pairs of pajamas or long sleeve shirts or short sleeve shirts, and I just put the number of things that they need for that. So you need three pairs of pajamas. So I print that out every time. We just started this a few months ago, it's one of our homeschooling things, and it was amazing. Like we started it out on one trip where I was like, look, it doesn't matter if we get there and we don't have what we need because we were just going on like a little road trip. So they did it. I did not double check their work, and nothing was forgotten. They did it completely fine, a six, seven, and ten-year-old.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they did a great job. I mean, you know, we didn't try this experiment out when we were going to be gone to Europe for a month. I mean, that was, you know, that was too much risk. But but yeah, they did a great job.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and then the next trip we went on was Costa Rica, and it was more important that we had the proper things that we needed because we had needed specific clothes for our tours and things, but they still packed their bags, and then I just went back and checked and made sure that they did. So that saved me so much time.
SPEAKER_00:And even the check was more like checking that the essentials are in there, like the proper shoes for a Spartan race, at least a swimsuit because we're gonna be going to the water and you know, things like that, and a ring jacket.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But other than that, I mean, if they packed weird and they got there with ugly clothes, well then I mean, no, we're not gonna die from it. We're probably never gonna see any of those people again.
SPEAKER_01:So well, I just had them gather all the items, like so. Get your underwear, get your socks, like that times three kids takes a long time. If you're a mom, you know. So they did all of that and they put it like beside their suitcase, and then I just kind of looked over it visually and then put it in. And so that saved me so much time. And not only that, this is one skill that is actually just pretty easy for them to start doing. There's not a lot of like time when you're just like frustrated, but you're still teaching them, so it was really easy. But also, what a skill. What a skill that you didn't have a few years ago that they already have.
SPEAKER_00:I know, and they already are getting good at it. And for us, that's an important skill because you know, traveling and seeing the world is a really important part of our life and something we're really trying hard to instill into our kids. I mean, I don't know, I guess maybe the way one of them will will rebel is to be a homebody and never go anywhere, but I I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:You never know.
SPEAKER_00:But we're hoping that they will travel the world even more than we have, and so that will be a very valuable skill.
SPEAKER_01:And it applies to other things, it just doesn't just apply to packing a bag, it is thinking and planning and executing, just like we talked about with the meals. It's not just cooking a meal, like you have struggled with yeah, I will cook, but you have to do all the steps before in order for that to happen.
SPEAKER_00:And so these are decide what you're gonna cook and buy it and and then know how long it's gonna take, so you start early enough so that everyone can eat before bedtime.
SPEAKER_01:So that's a lot of skills that you I mean, you're still working on it, to be honest. Yeah, but your parents didn't give you the opportunity to do this as a kid. So these skills translate to a lot more than just packing or cooking.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And that was that was a you know, both a thing coming from love, I'm sure, and also necessity because we didn't have the kind of time freedom that you and I have when when we were kids. And so, I mean, my mom just had to get it done, and and that was it, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. None of this. We're not bashing the way we were raised or anything like that. We're just comparing the two. We've had a lot of questions come up about like if this is the way our parents did it, and I think it's always no, usually, like you take what happened when you were a kid, and you take some things that you were like, Man, I really love that my parents did this, and then you take some things we're like, well, I want my kids to do X, Y, or Z, and things change. So definitely not bashing anything the way that our parents did.
SPEAKER_00:Oh no, it's different, different world, we have a different situation.
SPEAKER_01:So we have like a handful more of life skills, which is just gonna be too long for one episode. So we will do the rest of them. We're gonna we'll have one more for this episode and then we'll do like a part two because I feel like we have so much to say on all of these things. And I don't just want to say we're teaching our kids to make friends and then not elaborate on it. So the last one for today is that we're teaching them how to do chores, and we have a lot of ways we're doing this, so this one might take a couple of minutes, but chores in the house, and more specifically, we did start daily chores, but we started what's called our family cleaning day, and that's what I think maybe most of you will find helpful. So to rewind a little bit, we have always, since before we've had kids, right, we've had someone come clean our house. That was kind of like our splurge thing. Even when we didn't have a lot of money, we really I think avoided a lot of marriage fights because we had someone come clean.
SPEAKER_00:And there was a time when money was pretty tight, and turn was like, I'll like work an extra day just so that someone else will clean.
SPEAKER_01:So Yeah, because we we both were working more than full-time hours, and it just seemed like the very little time we had at home, I didn't want to be scrubbing toilets, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I always felt like it was just a cost-benefit analysis for me. I they were always willing to give me more hours when I was at the accounting firm. They they would never say no, and they paid for those extra hours. So I could spend four hours doing stuff I hate, cleaning the house, or something that I like well enough doing tax returns and and get paid to do that instead. Just made sense.
SPEAKER_01:So that's just always been at the top of our budget. And I'm sure you have something like that at the top of your budget that's different than ours, but that's been top. First thing that comes out of our paychecks would be to have someone come clean. And sometimes we started with like once a month and then every other week, things like that. So it wasn't weekly or anything, but enough that we didn't have to scrub the toilets and the showers and things. So fast forward to us having kids and working full time and just being completely at our wits' end, we were like, yeah, we the more that we hired out as two working parents, the better we felt. So we upped all of this help because we couldn't, we really couldn't give any more than what we were doing. So we had people, we had our laundry sent out. Like I would have a girl come pick it up and drop it off. So up for the first, I guess, what seven, eight years of our daughter's life, she didn't really have to do anything, like chores or anything like that. Now, we made her help and pitch in things like take your plate to the sink. But what she saw was that someone cleans the house and someone does the laundry, and that's it. So I think you get to a point where your kids are older and when they're little, you're taking care of them like they're babies, and you're taking care of them. That's what you should do. And then you're like, oh my gosh, you little brats, like you need to be pitching in around here. Like your whole like feeling of parenting changes at some point. Well, that's where we were, right? And they would come in and drop their stuff on the floor and leave their shoes in the yard and make a giant mess after the lady came and cleaned, or when they came and did the laundry, and all they had to do was put their folded, like just like folded so beautifully laundry. All they had to do was stick it in their drawer. They wouldn't do it, or they would complain about it, and we were like, this is enough. Enough is enough. Things have got to change. So that's whenever everything changed for us. And when we bought this house here in the city, we were like, I'm like, we're not getting a cleaning lady, we're not having somebody come clean every week for these little brats. They're gonna do it themselves. We are gonna start teaching them what it's like to pitch in around the house. I'm gonna stop feeling less overwhelmed, they're gonna start picking their shoes up out of the yard, putting their laundry away, doing laundry and everything. So that's where the whole family cleaning day was born.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and it's it worked really well. I mean, they know each person has their own job, they keep their own room clean and they pick up the all the areas, and you know Well, let's tell them about the checklist.
SPEAKER_01:You know, we have a checklist for family cleaning day.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a checklist. Taryn made one, she's good at making checklists.
SPEAKER_01:All of these things have checklists, in case I didn't mention that earlier. Just get the link in the show notes, and we have a checklist for cleaning day, laundry day, the chart, the packing list. We have all of that. So we do family cleaning day every Friday in our house. And how it works is we operate off the list, and the list is broken into jobs for each person. Carson has all of his jobs, I have my jobs, and the kids have their jobs, and then the entire house is cleaned at the end of it. So we just kind of took job by job and assigned, okay, if we're gonna clean the whole house, here's what needs to be done, who's gonna do what? And the first thing that the kids do in that morning is they strip their sheets and they bring them downstairs because everyone's sheets get washed, and we start all the sheets, and then they have to do their rooms, they have to clean their bathrooms. That includes scrubbing the toilet, the mirror, all of that, but they have a checklist to to show them, you know, make sure you do this, this, and this. And then each person has like a different job, whether it's like to clean the windows or to vacuum the playroom, things like that. So they usually get done a little bit quicker than we do. And then the next thing on their list is to say, how can I help? And so they have to come to us or to one of their siblings and be like, you know, what can I do? And that part of it is just we're all a team and we're working for a common goal. And the goal is to take care of our things and make sure that our house is clean. And so they'll come and I might be finishing putting the sheets on my bed, and they'll be like, How can I help, Mom? And I'm like, Yeah, thanks so much for for helping. Even though they're forced to say that, it's becoming less of a force, but actually coming from a place of I really want to help. Like, let's help, and then we can go do something fun. So they'll be like, Mom, can I help? And so they help me put the sheets on the bed, and then you know, slate will come and be like, I'm all finished, how can I help? I'm like, Oh, okay, good. I need you to go outside and wipe down the patio table from last night. You guys have pizza out there, and he does that. So we just keep working on it until it's done. And it has been one of the best things, I would say, for a family out of maybe all of these, because it's completely changed our family culture from mom and dad do everything. There's a lot that mom does that maybe dad doesn't do, and of course not make a face at me. But now it's not that. It's they really do realize now, after only a few months of this, that that's really hard for all one person to do because a lot of people have asked on my Instagram post, like, do they give any pushback? And initially, yes, there was a lot of pushback, like, why do we have to do this? And oh my gosh, it's family cleaning day, I don't want to do it, or it takes so long to wash the dishes, and I would just meet them with, yeah, it really does. But do you think I should have to do that and everything else? Should I do all of it? And no, they're good kids, they're like, No, mom, no, one person shouldn't. So yeah, they still don't like doing chores, but neither do I. I think it's fine for them to verbalize that, but they are realizing the teamwork of it all, and I love that. I think that we've made a lot of progress in this category.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And again, you know, like Taryn said, there's also something in it for them to be helpful even when they finish their jobs because you know they can't they can't drive, so they have to wait for us to finish before the fun starts. And we always do fun stuff on Fridays, so if they help, we'll be done faster, and then we can go do the fun things.
SPEAKER_01:And another part of this whole change for us is they did start doing their own laundry, which I wanted to at some point, but when you're in the throes of like toddlers and babies and everything, you can't really work on that stuff. So I kind of realized that we were out of that stage finally, and we needed to make a plan for them to start doing their own laundry. As a kid sailors age, I was doing laundry for six people a lot. So I knew she was capable of it. We just needed to like have a good plan how to teach it. So what we're doing is everybody has a laundry day, and I think Sailors is Mondays, but they know what their laundry day is, they bring it down that morning and they put it in and start it. And it's since it's once a week, it's not a lot of laundry. You know, they usually can do one big load, though that they know if they have something that's like red or something like that, or you know, we're teaching them those little things that they can't wash it together, but it's not too much to tackle. They put it in, and then by the end of the day, they have to have folded and put it away. So it's not something that they're doing all day. It's kind of like a morning thing, and then I'm like, oh, it's Sailor's Laundry Day. We just make sure that she has folded and put it away. And we also utilize Alexa to make sure these things get done. So like Alexa will say, like, get the kids up in the morning, like it's time to get up, it's time for breakfast, and they'll get up, but it'll also can remind them, like, Sailor, it's your laundry day today, take your laundry down. So this has been really, really helpful for us because not only are we not paying someone to do laundry, which we did that for a couple of years, and then before that, I did it all the laundry. It it's like life-changing. If you've been doing the laundry for five people, it is just life-changing to have them do it on their own. And do their drawers and closets look perfect? No, they don't.
SPEAKER_00:They but do they need to?
SPEAKER_01:No, they don't, absolutely not. I do think it's important when you're letting kids help just to be pretty organized with like where things go when they're like unloading the dishwasher and stuff. It's way easier if you do have some sort of system. And so I feel like their clothes are pretty easy to put away because beforehand we went through their drawers and we're like, okay, this is where your pajamas go, this is where your underwear go. Like it's pretty obvious where things go, but if you open up their drawer, like it's gonna be like a messy underwear drawer, and I don't care.
SPEAKER_00:And that's also a perk of doing the laundry weekly, is that they know where their underwear goes because there's still some underwear left in there, and they know where the shorts go because there's still some shorts left in there. It is hard if you wear everything before you do laundry, which I could get that attitude. It's like, hey, I still have clothes to wear. Why am I gonna do laundry? But then it is hard for the kids because they don't remember where everything goes and they don't have a, you know, a blueprint for that.
SPEAKER_01:And this is one of those that though there were growing pains, I feel like they got on board pretty quickly. And I think that is most of people's reason for not doing it, is that if you don't have your kids do chores or pitch in, and then all of a sudden you're like, okay, everybody's doing chores, like y'all are being lazy, like things are gonna change. Yeah, they're not gonna be very receptive to that. So obviously, the earlier you start, the better. For instance, our six-year-old, she's not gonna remember a time where she didn't have to do. She didn't, she's not gonna remember her five years of freeloading. She's gonna remember that from an early age I've pitched in, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Five years of freeloading, freeloading two-year-olds. Yeah. Get a job. Jeez.
SPEAKER_01:Come on, pitch in. Like, so she doesn't she's not gonna remember that. But with you know, we started all of this when our oldest was ten, and that's a little bit more difficult. But for all of them, simply sticking to it and them knowing that it doesn't matter if you don't want to do Friday cleaning day, Friday cleaning day is coming, and we're all gonna do it, and we're gonna get through it. Their attitudes change relatively quickly. So I don't know. I just just like anything with parenting, you just have to stick to it, and it will change quicker than you think. So that's all the life skills that we're gonna talk about today. But we do have the next episode that will be part two of the life skills, since we went a little long on this one.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so listen to that one, and there will be a lot of good tips there as well.
SPEAKER_01:And make sure to check the show notes if you want any of the like visual aids or charts that we talked about today. I'm gonna make sure to link that there and then the reading app. Note to self.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, that one too.
SPEAKER_01:So thank you so much for listening. Please leave us a review. We always ask for the fan mail, which is amazing, but reviews are what gets us like further up in the podcasting.
SPEAKER_00:So more people can see us and learn from our infinite wisdom.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, even if you just have a couple seconds to scroll down and like put five stars, we would love that. But you can, you know, write a review and say what you like about the card, what you like about our podcast, and we would really love that.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I guess that's it. So thank you so much for listening to Well, this wasn't the plan podcast.
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