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Well This Wasn't The Plan!
We never expected to homeschool...but here we are! Life is funny that way, ya know?
After 4 years in public school, we've made the unexpected leap into homeschooling our 3 kids--while still working full-time! On this podcast, we're documenting the journey in real time: the good, the hard, the hilarious, and everything in between.
Whether you're a curious parent, a fellow homeschooler, or just here for the chaos, welcome!
Let's figure it out together--because sometimes the best things start with, "Well, that wasn't the plan..."
Well This Wasn't The Plan!
17. Leaving Public School the Million Little Reasons Why (Replay)
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
EPISODE RERUN FOR THANKSGIVING BREAK!
We walk through the million little reasons we left public school to homeschool three kids while running a business, trading rushed mornings and rigid schedules for slower starts, focused learning, and family time. Nothing against teachers; this is about fit, values, and the lives we want to build.
Homeschool + Working Parents Guide (The Step-by-Step Guide to Your First Year)
The phone we have with NO social media and NO internet browser!
A New Direction: Homeschool
SPEAKER_00We're two full-time working parents who just made a crazy decision.
SPEAKER_02After four years in public school, we're homeschooling our three kids and documenting the whole thing.
SPEAKER_00Never in a million years did we think that we would be homeschooled people.
SPEAKER_02Welcome. This is the Well, I didn't see that coming podcast. I'm slate, and school's in the kitchen now. I'm starting. We just start when I say so. I'm Sailor, and this whole podcast was my idea. This podcast is our real-time journey, unexpectedly juggling homeschool, jobs, parenting, and everything in between.
SPEAKER_00Follow along each week as we document how it's going and share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because we know some days are going to be ugly, and we're not holding back.
SPEAKER_02We're learning to expect the unexpected. So let's get into it.
SPEAKER_00Let's go.
Naming The Fear And The Plan
SPEAKER_00We are leaving public school after four years, and it feels good to say that out loud. Finally.
SPEAKER_02It feels good to hear it.
SPEAKER_00It's just like something that has been going on in the background for a really long time, and for the longest time, we didn't tell anyone, and we can go over the reasons why we didn't. And we're finally here. School's about to start back for everybody, and we are homeschooling. And it feels good to just be committed. The decision's been made, all the things have been done in the background, and we are doing it.
SPEAKER_02It's also scary.
SPEAKER_00It's really scary. I'm both scared and also really excited. And obviously, we're both super, super optimistic about this because who isn't when you're making a new decision? You're just like pumped about it. And of course, people see the flaws in your plan. And I'm sure we've received a lot of that from our family and friends, but we're pumped. But also I am very scared and nervous about this first year. And you know, we don't even know what's next. But this first year we're committed to it, like we have a plan, we're so excited. But who knows? And that's kind of what this whole podcast is about.
SPEAKER_02But you know, it's like with anything that you're scared of. You know, I used to be a musician, and you the fear builds and builds until you get closer to the day of the performance, but then the day of it starts to wane. And by the time, for at least for me, by the time I step on stage, right before I start singing, the fear is gone. And I feel like I'm hitting, we're definitely on the downslope for me because we have a plan. We're so close to putting this into action. And so I feel so much of the fear going away because I know what it's gonna look like, or at least have an idea of what it's gonna look like.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I feel that. I right now, in this moment, I feel relieved. Like we've made the we've made the decision that works
Why It’s Not One Big Reason
SPEAKER_00best for our family and we're just moving forward with it. But I think, and the whole reason for this podcast episode right now is that people keep asking us why? Why are you homeschooling? And it's so hard to answer that question, especially if you're just chatting with someone like in just like a minute or two, they just want to know why.
SPEAKER_02But it'll get way easier now because just randomly handing a person your podcast card is super normal and not rude at all. Like, why did y'all decide to homeschool and just like smile at them and hand them a card and walk away? Is that is that the plan?
SPEAKER_00No, that is not the plan. Well, but also, I mean, I completely understand that this is not normal, but when big things like this happen, I do have to like think how I'm gonna tell people on my social media and how I'm gonna come across and things like that, how I'm gonna share this information. And kind of what started that too was just telling people in real life. I just don't know what to answer because it's not one little reason, it's a million. And to answer a question, I'm not gonna print out podcast cards and tell people in real life. But I am gonna obviously link this episode because I feel like if people are interested in why we're homeschooling, this is what they need to hear. You know, I can't answer it in even a paragraph. I can't just answer it when we're just chatting. I would need like a whole coffee date to sit down and talk to you. So that's what this is.
SPEAKER_02It is, yeah, it's good. And and you're right, it's not, we do need a longer form to answer the question because then we probably won't even cover every single reason on this podcast, but maybe at least hopefully the major ones on this episode. But it is, it's like that that show, it was kind of depressing, but a million little things. Yeah, I did like the idea though that everyone's always like, if I'd just done this, that guy wouldn't have, you know, whatever. But it wasn't one thing, it was a million little things, and that's exactly what I've been telling people.
SPEAKER_00I just say it's just a million reasons, it's not one big reason. I think people we've told so far are assuming that maybe something happened at school, or there's one specific reason that's driving this, and it's not so most of the teachers we had were award-winning teachers, literally.
SPEAKER_02They handed out awards for the whole county out of, I don't know, dozens of schools, and the ones, the one classroom teacher that we had like several years in a row, kept winning best in the whole county for you know elementary schools. And so it wasn't that.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, it was nothing to do with the teachers. There was no big event that happened, and it caused us to get really mad and like decide to homeschool. So that's what this episode's gonna be about. We're gonna go back a couple months, probably like it's been about 18 months, and talk about what happened and what led to this decision and all of the million reasons why, because there's just there's just not one. I mean, last summer is when we started talking about this for me, and we both had completely different like views on this at first.
Overwhelm, Rushed Mornings, No Family Time
SPEAKER_00I don't know if it was last summer when you did, probably the beginning of the summer, but I was very overwhelmed with school. And this year, it really having three kids in elementary, like just kind of did me in. And what I mean by that is just so much chaos from getting them up in the mornings, fighting with people to get up and make sure we're not late and get dressed and make sure they have their spelling words done and their backpacks and their snacks and their lunch packs and there's money in their lunch account and their library books. You know how it is. It's just it was getting, it was really getting to me to the to where when summer started, sorry, when summer ended last year, I just felt I had a lot of anxiety about starting back school because I really enjoyed summer for once. Like I just enjoyed since the kids were little, they had their first summer where they were all home, they weren't in school, and I really enjoyed that, and I didn't want them to go back to school because school equals craziness in our lives. And I know that people say it gets better as they get older, and you're not always asked for like a million things from the teachers and from the school, and there's not like a million things like book fair and dress up days. I get it, but with three young kids, I was just completely really just unhappy during the year. I didn't find all of those dress up days and all of the craziness fun. I mean, maybe there's something wrong with me, but I didn't. I found it exhausting and overwhelming.
SPEAKER_02No offense if you're one of those that really loves building a foil hat for Johnny Appleseed Day for your kid, you know, that I mean, hey, if you like that, you go for it.
SPEAKER_00I think I just think we're living in a time where most moms and dads, all parents, do have to work. Maybe it's not a full-time job, but there's so much on your plate. And so you add the job in there and all the normal home stuff that we're trying to both juggle and figure out who does what. And then we'll talk about this a lot, I know, in this podcast, kids' sports.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. And that's the thing, is that you know, some people are doing sports in the summer, but we really don't. So another thing, I mean, sports and school start back at the same time, and then that's it, our lives are over.
SPEAKER_00And I just felt like, yeah, it was it was to the point where it was not enjoyable at all. And I just felt like we had no family time whatsoever. And our daughter actually said to us, which really got to me because she was right, but she said, the only time you're talking to us in the mornings you're yelling at us, and at night you're yelling at us, telling us, okay, you know, in the morning, hurry, hurry, hurry, get your shoes on, let's go, let's go. We're gonna be late. I guess stressing her out, telling her, like, did you get this? Did you do this? And then our nut our next interaction is after school, where half the time somebody, or more than half the time, most days somebody has something to do, and we're like, okay, get your snack. Come on, get get your volleyball shoes on. Did you get this? Did you get that? And then when we get home, it's like, hurry and eat. You guys gotta, you gotta read and you gotta do your smelly spelling test, and you like there's so many things to do. And oh, you need to shower.
SPEAKER_02You haven't showered in a couple of days, like and then hurry up and get ready for bed, because if we don't get in bed by this time, then you're not gonna get enough sleep because you need this much sleep, but we have to get up at 6 30 or we won't make it to school on time the next day. Yes, yeah, it's it's a lot.
SPEAKER_00She was right, absolutely right, and I hated that. I just I didn't really know what the solution to that problem was. And I had said one time before, probably well before that, to you, that it would be so nice to homeschool in like an ideal situation. If I didn't have a full-time job and things were different, I would want to homeschool the kids. And you thought that was a horrible idea.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, at the time. I mean, but but just to follow up on what you said about you know, Sailor saying that to you, and one time Slate told me, he said, Why are you always rushing me every day, all day? You just rush me. And I do. I I was rushing, I was like, but we're always in a hurry.
SPEAKER_00I know it's they're not I don't like that either. They're absolutely right. And
Kids’ Voices: ADHD, Boredom, Tears
SPEAKER_00I was just stressed every morning trying to make sure we're not late and just just rushing through every single day. And I just kind of got to a point where I was like, is this what we're gonna do until they leave? Because people are always like, Imagine what their schedule's like when they're in high school. And I just didn't like it at all, and I didn't know what to do about it.
SPEAKER_02And and here's the thing: if we thought our kids were happy, like we would have struggled through it until they graduated high school. We really would have. I mean, we sacrificed for our kids, we're not lazy parents by any means, but they were not happy with it, and so that was the biggest problem is like why are we killing ourselves and we're not happy to make our kids unhappy, also? It doesn't make sense.
SPEAKER_00They weren't happy. I mean, and I think it's important to note that they before going into school and going to public school, they were in daycare, so they're not unfamiliar with the routine and getting up and having a teacher, and they they all three do well in school.
SPEAKER_02Well, they liked daycare. Daycare's a daycare was a party every day.
SPEAKER_00They did, they absolutely love daycare, but I'm just saying that they they weren't like going into kindergarten with no experience and then all of a sudden being unhappy with it. The first year that our oldest this was the first year she she hated school, and that was a surprise to us, but also to everyone else, because she's like the social butterfly, and she was begging to be homeschooled this entire year. And I don't she didn't really say exactly why at first. She has since said things that I think she heard us say, so I don't know if it's what she actually thought because I asked her, I'm like, well, why do you want to homeschool? And she just was unhappy at school, and I think it's because she has ADHD and she has a lot of energy, and this year was third grade, and they really cut down on their like activity, and so they were at their desk a lot, and she started really hating it.
SPEAKER_02I do think that's it, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I always wondered if that would happen. But I kind of thought it wouldn't because she's always loved school, like she cries every year whenever they have to end school, and because she loves her teachers, she loves her friends, we usually have to escort her out the building bawling.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it it is interesting because I mean she is she wasn't struggling at school at all. She made straight A's, she ended up finishing elementary with straight A's every year. She was number one accelerated reader, she's good at sports, she's popular. There was no reason other than I think she's just miserable sitting at her desk for eight hours every day, other than what, like a 25-minute PE or something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they they had previously had two recesses and PE. But as you as they get older and they had to take the star test this year, they they just don't do that. I think a lot of times they were trying to check it off the the list since they're supposed to go outside, and they would just go outside for like five, ten minutes and be like, okay, come on, we gotta get back in and get to it. And she absolutely hated that.
SPEAKER_02And that's not their fault. That's coming from the top. Like they have to cover this much material, and the amount that they're supposed to cover is not realistic
Phones, Food, And Value Clashes
SPEAKER_02in the time frame that they have available to them unless nobody ever gets sick, nobody ever acts bad in class, and every single kid grasps the concept the first time that they're taught. I mean, literally there's no other way to do it, and so they're trying to find extra time to meet these standards wherever they can.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's just pressure on the teachers. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with what they have to do in a day and what they have to make happen before the kids take those tests. I think that's what it was coming from from her. So when all this started happening, I wanted to do something different. I kind of felt like once she said something, I was like, oh, you know, maybe we can make a change, maybe we can do something different that would feel better for everybody. We started looking at just like what are other options we could do? And I found like a couple people that were doing like a hybrid option where kids go to school a couple of days a week and then they homeschool part of the time, but the school gives you like your work. So I mean, I it is homeschool, but you're not doing a lot of you're not doing the curriculum. So I was like, oh, that's that's a really good option. We looked at just a bunch of different things, and then Sailor actually was like, I don't even want to do that. She wanted to homeschool really, really badly. And we have two other kids, we're not just talking about our oldest. So we have Sailor, who is going to be going into fourth grade, Slate who's going into second grade, and our youngest who's going into first grade. After Sailor kind of told us about being very unhappy at school, then Slate also started really struggling at school. And for a completely different reason. If you have kids, you know kids are they're so different. And I think as a parent, when you're a new parent, you think like, oh, this is how I'm gonna do it. And you don't really realize how different your kids are, how different they need to be parented, and then now realizing that they all learn differently and need different things at school and everything, and maybe that your idea of one size fits all, like they're all gonna go to this little school that we picked out, and we moved here for this school, it's not necessarily gonna work. And he is our middle is just extremely, extremely gifted, and he's very smart. He is not super super social, he's like the sweetest, kindest guy in the whole world. I love him to death, but he is kind of a loner, a little bit weird, likes different things than other people, which I feel like makes him awesome. But he was just hating going to school every day. The first semester, he cried a lot in the mornings. Don't make me go to school, and that just breaks your heart as a parent.
SPEAKER_02Now, our youngest Scotty, she is the only one that I guess has mixed feelings about it. The older two are dead sad that they want to be homeschooled, they don't ever want to go back to school. She has her days, I mean, where she's she agrees with her siblings, and she then she has other days where she thinks she's gonna miss her friends, and you know, so I don't know. There's a little bit of a mixture there. It's not 100% perfect, like every kid's thrilled about it, but she's not against it really. And I know that once she was the only one going, she would not want to go.
SPEAKER_00No, and I mean that's just not something we're gonna do right now. We're just gonna all try this. We're not taking one child to school and the other two, but Sailor is is just telling her it's because you're in kindergarten, you'll hate it when you get to another grade. And you know, she might be right.
SPEAKER_02But I mean, kindergarten sounds great to me right now, but fourth grade doesn't sound that fun at all.
SPEAKER_00Kindergarten is so fun. She had the best kindergarten year, but she's also hearing from her brother and her sister about all about how awesome homeschooling will be, and so yeah,
Movement, Testing, And Factory Schedules
SPEAKER_00she's a little bit mixed on that. So two out of three are just like super, super pumped to homeschool. And I think that, especially telling our families and things like that, they just assumed that like we were forcing the kids to homeschool. But actually, this was definitely kid-driven and something that they wanted to do, and then we had to just kind of work backwards and figure out how we're gonna actually make it happen.
SPEAKER_02And some of the things that you know led us here weren't even things that we experienced firsthand, which sounds weird, but some of the things were things that we knew are coming up, things that whatever is happening in elementary, a lot of the things that we have problems with with public school get worse in the next grades and up into junior high and high school, and it just keeps, you know, escalating. And so there's a lot of issues there too that we do not want to have to deal with.
SPEAKER_00We were unhappy with a lot of things in the school system beyond just being so much work for I feel like me with like the apps and the notifications all day, every day, and all of the events and everything. Some of the things that we were concerned about were coming up, like the phone issue. We were very concerned with what middle school would look like because some of the middle school moms, you know, had mentioned how all of the kids were like on their phones all day, especially at lunch. They had mentioned that the kids weren't sitting and talking, they were just like looking at their phones all day at lunch. And our our kids aren't gonna have phones, they don't they don't have phones and they're not going to have phones until they can drive. And at that point, they'll still just be a simple phone, it won't be like anything with social media or anything like that. So I kind of had a lot of fear around that, but I had no idea that you know, just now they passed that law that they can't take phones to school. So I think that that's gonna be amazing. I'm so glad they did that. But I had a lot of fear around that because I didn't want our kids to be left out in that way because I know how I how isolated you can feel in middle school and high school if you're different in some way. But I felt I feel so strongly about them not having access to that stuff to like ruin their brain and their self-confidence and stuff, but then also being left out at school. It's just it's hard, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, up until we realized we wanted to do this, we thought we had were stuck with two choices either we cave and we do give them phones, which we weren't gonna do, or we just accept that, yeah, we're gonna send them every day, and you know, 90% of the kids are gonna be talking on their phones, texting each other, probably talking about them on their phones. Yeah, right there, and they won't have the they won't be able to participate. And I I've seen that, I've seen it at restaurants. You know, you see all these, you know, middle school girls come in and they're sitting there, and there's the one without the phone, and you just she seems like so left out. But the people with the phones are depressed too, so you can't really win.
SPEAKER_00No, you can't. And I had a lot of fear. I could just I'm a person that is like very proactive. I don't know why I'm like this, but I plan more ahead, I think, than most people do. And I could just see the writing on the wall,
Exposure, Bullying, And Maturity Gaps
SPEAKER_00and it was scaring me because our oldest was get she was going to intermediate, and soon we would blink and she'll be in junior high. So the phone thing was definitely bothering me. Her some of her friends already have phones, and I just know it was gonna be a big issue. So I love that they made that change. But there are other things with the school that I feel like just went completely against our our values at home. So the phone being one of them, really bad food at school. I don't know how else to put that. But one of the things that's really important to us is that we feed our kids good food, and we've been doing that since they were babies, and it's really important to us. It's not really important to the school.
SPEAKER_02No, and it's not really just the the what's in the cafeteria because you can send your kids lunch.
SPEAKER_00I mean, that's and we do most of the time.
SPEAKER_02Not always the best food, like maybe like that we would feed them at home, but it we're usually okay with you know that kind of stuff. It's the fact that on top of that, almost every day is either a holiday or a pepper alley or a kid's birthday in their class or something where they're getting loads and loads of red dye and sugar. I mean, that's what they're giving them. It's just as much as they can have. Here's some red juice, here's some red cupcakes, and here's some red candy for every single occasion. And there ended up being like two or three times per week that there was a reason that they needed to have all of that crap.
SPEAKER_00Or more. I mean, that that's how most of the rewards were given in the form of candy or snacks or drinks. So our kids would come home every single day with things that we don't allow them to have, which is kind of frustrating, you know. Like I I want to be in control of what my kids can and can't have. And it was like every day we would feed them like a nutritious breakfast, and then they would go in and they would have donuts for everybody, and then it would be someone's birthday, so then they would also have cupcakes, and then Sailor would win like some Plinko prize, and then she would get like they would be like, Do you want a soda? And we're like, We don't allow sodas, and so it just felt like we couldn't win there, you know. And we're all about balance. We we let our kids have those things, right? But we felt like we didn't have any control left because they're there most of the time.
SPEAKER_02And not to sound selfish, but I would love to be able to say yes sometimes to, you know, can you have some candy? But I felt like I never could. I feel like I have to become the dad of no because everybody else is saying yes all the time. And so I'm like, okay, if I let them have this at home, then it's all day. Then like three times a day they're loading up with sugar, and it's gonna, they're all gonna have diabetes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there's there's just no balance. I mean, that's what we're trying to teach our kids, right? Balance, and there's none. So that was that's obviously a big one to us. I could go on and on about that, but I won't. And then another we kind of talked about is just the activity level. Kids need a ton of activity in a day, and they're just not getting it at school.
SPEAKER_02And this isn't an exercise thing. Our kids are in sports and they play at home, they're getting plenty of exercise.
Gifted Needs And The Bell Curve Problem
SPEAKER_02It's not about that, it's about that you can't have a kid sit there for that long and expect them to be okay with it. I can't even do it. I get up from my desk way more than they're even allowed to get up from their desk. So if I was in school, I'd be getting sent to the principal for how often I get up.
SPEAKER_00Especially when you have a kid that's got ADHD and needs to be up and down a lot. We don't medicate her right now, and we we never have, but in order to stick to that, we do have to limit things like red dye and a lot of sugar, and we have to be a really active family because when we do that, she's wonderful. But when we don't, she's not.
SPEAKER_02Because she is on the line. I I know there's some kids that avoiding sugar and red dye and getting exercise isn't enough, and and they're not on the line where they can not be medicated, and we're not against medication, is what I'm saying. I mean, she she is, she's right, she's on the line where she can sit there and get A's and do what is expected of a kid that doesn't have ADHD, but it's miserable for her. Yeah, that's the problem.
SPEAKER_00She's extremely unhappy. And all of these things that we're talking about, when I was thinking about it and sending them every single day for hours a day, I'm sending them to a place that literally goes against all of my my big values, right? I want my kids to eat well, I want my kids to get outside and have a good like balance in their lives. And it's like none of those things are being done at school, and that's their life.
SPEAKER_02And training them for being adults is you know, schools were set up to train kids to work in factories, to not the kids to work in factories, but train them to become adults that work in factories. They were set up on eight-hour schedules like factory work, but that's not the world we live in. That's not the kind of job I really want for my kids. I don't have anything against factory workers, it's just not where I think any of my kids are heading. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't train them for the kind of adult that I want them to be.
SPEAKER_00Well, and it only gets worse. I've talked to middle school parents and the kids, they don't have recess, they don't go outside. So it's just a very long day sitting in a desk, and that simply wasn't working for our daughter with ADHD. There was not one thing, obviously, that caused all of this, but we did experience some bullying and things like that, which is just par for the course. I understand that's gonna happen, but it sucks when it happens to your kid. Really, really sucks. All of our kids experienced some of it, but I think what bothered me the most was some of the things that our young kids were telling us at school, and it was
Letting Go Of The Dream School
SPEAKER_00usually a result of kids that were exposed to things that they shouldn't be exposed to.
SPEAKER_02Either from older siblings or from, well, sometimes bad parents or from YouTube, because their parents some good on YouTube and they learned stuff they didn't need to learn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, my daughter kept telling me stories, she was in kindergarten, that her friend told her, and every day her friend would tell her about what he saw on YouTube. And so one of the stories was that this mom and dad were beating their child over the head with a hammer because he didn't clean his room. And every day she was telling me different stories that her friend was telling her.
SPEAKER_02And I wondered why her room was so clean that week.
SPEAKER_00It is not funny.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. What about the one that told one of our kids that their favorite show was Dexter? And I don't mean Dexter's lab, I mean Dexter, the serial killer.
SPEAKER_00Also kindergarten. Long story short, things are changing, and I think kids are being exposed to things that they shouldn't. It is a lot different than it was when we were in school. Don't you agree?
SPEAKER_02Some of the things, and then some of the things that are not different were bad back then, and they're bad now. I mean, yeah. We have some of that too. That was one of the things that you know that I'm concerned about is we did have a kid that tested into GT, and it works the exact same way it did when I was a kid. They once a week or once every other week or something like that, the GT teacher pulls you out and you do these special extracurricular activities. And I'm not trying to knock it, they're trying to do something, but that's not what you need. The gifted children need to be in a different classroom for all of their work. And then the kids that need more catch up need to be in a different class for all of their work, and then all the average kids need to be in classrooms together because then no one is getting left behind. No one is it parents would freak out, I know, because then they're like, I don't want my kid to be in the dumb class, but that's not what it is. It's the kids that just need more help, and they could catch up and maybe move up into another class, but they're getting ignored because the teachers have to teach the kids in the middle, and so the kids at the top or the kids at the bottom, a lot of times I feel like they get left behind.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. It's it's not set up for a kid that we like we have, a kid that's really ahead and gifted. It's just not, and I think sometimes that's fine. They'll go through and go through the motions every year and be fine, but ours hated school. I mean, he loves learning, he loves math, he loves reading, and it was getting to the point where he hated school, and I didn't want him to hate learning.
SPEAKER_02And it's just because he was bored, nothing happened, nothing. He didn't have, you know, like a mean teacher or anything like that. I mean, he did get some bullying from other kids, but I think that was part of it, but mostly I think it was just because he was bored.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And and I hated that all of a sudden like he was excited.
Handling Judgment And Stigma
SPEAKER_00Excited about school, and then over the course of the year, he just ended up hating it. He was counting down the days, he kept asking us to homeschool him early, and it just turned into a battle every day. So, did you ever think that you would homeschool your kids?
SPEAKER_02No. I used to tell people all the time that, oh man, I am, you know, educated, but I'm not a good teacher. And that's a separate skill set that I don't have because I tutored some in college and I was not good at it.
SPEAKER_00This might sound really dumb since we're homeschooling, but I don't think I don't think either one of us are great teachers. I don't.
SPEAKER_02Okay. The thing is, there's programs, there's a lot of options, there's different things that you can do. So whenever I think most concepts will explain it and they'll understand. And whenever that doesn't happen, there's more in-depth videos on that they can watch, or there's things that they can read from the program that we're gonna be using. And if that's not working, there's plenty of other programs to choose from, too. So I mean, I think that we will find a way.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. We we are a good team, you know. When things come up, we just we get through it and we're gonna figure it out. I know we can figure this out. We never thought we would be here. I think that that is something that shocked even us. So we never ever thought we would homeschool. We actually moved here because of the schools. We wanted our kids to go to a small school and we actually loved their school. There's nothing wrong with the school, I think just the school system. We loved our teachers, we loved the community, everything about it. It's just and in my head, I imagine them all graduating from this high school, like and and it still kind of makes me a little bit sad to think that they're not going to because you have something in your head as a parent, and that's how you think it's gonna go. And you know, we all know that it doesn't always go according to plan. So I know.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, can we still just you know, like go to football games there and play sports with them and walk the stage with them when they graduate, but then do all their schooling at home?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I know it's it's it's hard. That part of it is very, very hard. We had this, we were just like so committed to this school and this these people and these friends and this just community of people, and there are so many things I love about that that it's hard to just kind of start over, and that's what I feel like. But this wasn't the plan, but right this wasn't the plan, but we're doing it anyway.
SPEAKER_02I think you're struggling with that part more than me because you loved high school, like you want to go back and relive high school, but that's just not the way it is anymore.
SPEAKER_00I know. I it's like in my head, I know this is what's best for them, but before when I made this decision, I made it because I wanted them to have the experience I had. And I realized that that that doesn't exist anymore, it's it's not the same at all. But it was so fun. I loved that experience. I loved school, and that's what I like imagined that they would be. And I had a lot of cousins around me, and my like I was in high
Not Forever: Treating It As A Trial
SPEAKER_00school with my sister, and I loved it, and that's exactly what they would be getting if they would be going to a small school, they could play sports if they wanted to, they would be with their cousins, and I imagine like we would have a senior, a sophomore, and a freshman, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I just like I imagine that over and over again, and that's just not the case anymore. And I think that is hard to like settle with. But I I mean, I'm there now, it's just it's been a while, but that was hard for me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and there's other things that are hard for me about it, but you know, also everything's changed so much too. I mean, more people are getting, you know, I'm not saying that they're gonna go to college on sports scholarships, but I'm just saying if you even if you are super into sports, when we were kids, that meant playing in high school for a good high school and moving even sometimes to a better high school to play for a better high school team if you wanted to get looked at by colleges. But you know, more kids are getting picked up from select basketball leagues and select volleyball teams for you know college scholarships and stuff than anything. So that's not to say that that's gonna be what our kids do. It's just that saying it's saying that there are plenty of sports options out there, even if you're not in the public school, and so I mean there's a lot of things you can do. Things are different now.
SPEAKER_00That really wasn't my like I don't care if they play sports, it was more for just like the experience.
SPEAKER_02Right. Or, you know, going just going to the football games or being a part of I I was in music, but you know, being a part of that group and having those kind of built-in friends and and you know, there's some cool stuff with that, but yeah, we're not gonna have that.
SPEAKER_00It's awesome, you know. That a small town feel, small town Friday night football games, all of that. I loved it, and that's what I chose for our kids. It just you know, that was my plan, but this is a different plan. So that was a thing that we definitely had to get over, even though we listed all those reasons why school just wasn't working for us. It still was hard to make that decision. And then I think the next hardest part for me was telling everyone.
Work + Homeschool: Making It Possible
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that was tough.
SPEAKER_00And still is tough as well because I feel like you don't care what people like I care more about what people think or what they say, and I feel like you don't.
SPEAKER_02I don't care what people think about me, but I do care what they think that I think about them, if if that's not too confusing. I in other words, I feel like, okay, if you start, if you stop eating dairy, people start the first thing they think is, oh, he thinks I'm crappy because I don't eat dairy, or because I do eat dairy or whatever. I mean, if you don't let your kids have screen time or whatever, then if they let their kids have screen time, they immediately feel judged and like, oh, he must think I'm crappy because I do. And no, that's just what we're doing. It's just what we think is works for us. It's not necessarily what's best for anyone else's kid. And so I didn't I didn't want anyone to think that, oh, you like public school, you're stupid. No, I mean, because for a lot of kids, it is the perfect situation. I mean, it's it's free, it's like built-in daycare because you have parents that work outside of the home usually. And for your kids that fall in the right spots on the bell curve, it's usually set up just right. So for a lot of kids, it's great.
SPEAKER_00For the longest time, it was the only option for us, too. In a lot of families, it is the only option. We're not coming from a place of judgment, but that was not the reason why it was hard for me to tell people. For me, it was the judgment from other people, and we've had a fair share of that. Like, no one has taken it very well. I won't say I won't say no one. A few people have, but we've mostly been met with, well, what if you change your mind? What will you do? Or what are you gonna do about prom? Well, they'll probably be behind, or how are they gonna have friends? And like we haven't really been met with, oh, that's great, guys. It's been a it's been a lot of negativity, and I knew that was gonna happen, so I was prepared for it, but it still stings, still hurts.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, and we had thought about all that stuff, so we know that none of that stuff is a concern, and you know, I was lucky enough to when Slate was doing Ninja, almost all the parents in there were like homeschooled parents for some reason. I don't know how it worked out that way, but so I got to talk to them a lot, and actually all of their kids were ahead. Most of their kids that were 15 were already in college, and so yeah, I wasn't really worried about them getting behind. Or the socializing, everyone brings that up. I'm not really worried about that because are they really socializing at school anyway? I mean, we'll we'll we'll talk about that more later, but yeah, so I don't I don't care if anyone thinks I'm dumb for doing it, as long as they don't think that I think they're dumb for not doing it, because I don't, I don't think that at all.
SPEAKER_00We have in the past and every day, every year, we do things that most people don't, and I feel like people think we're weird sometimes because we don't really do what everyone else is doing, and this is just adds one more tick to our to our weirdness.
SPEAKER_02But we've been dealing with that since way before we decided to homeschool. We do a lot of things differently than other people, and people think we're weird, but it works for us.
SPEAKER_00I know it does work, and we're still gonna do it, but it get it gets to me. Like I don't like to be the weirdo, you know? I don't and I definitely don't want to put that on my kids and them feel weird. I right now they they don't see homeschooling as a bad thing like we did. I feel like when we were kids it was kind of a negative word, like it just wasn't as common, and it is now, and they actually know a lot of homeschool kids and they play sports with them, and so it to them it's
Flexibility, Travel, And Quality Time
SPEAKER_00they like they're not embarrassed by it, but some of the responses we're getting they you know it's it's obvious what they think that our kids will be weird.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean there's less of a stigma than there was maybe when we were kids, but there's still a stigma, a big one. Like they they think that I mean I even saw we just watched a show the other day, and I laughed because I don't get offended by stuff, but this girl had the ugliest dress on, and her friend goes, Oh my god, you look like you're homeschooled. And we just we just laughed, and that's everyone's perspective. I I think the world's changing, I think in another 10 or 20 years that whenever it becomes more normalized and people see you out in the wild working your job and they're like, Oh, you're homeschooled, and you don't seem weird, then I think people will finally start to come around.
SPEAKER_00But that does lead me to say that this we we don't even know if this is permanent. We're just we're just we think this is gonna be a better fit for our family and we're trying it out. Like, and we've been telling people that we're not like married to it, you know. We were married to public school, and look what happened, didn't work out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean we're not that stubborn. I am stubborn, but we're not that stubborn. If we get to the end of a school year and it's like, yo crap, they're dumber than they were when we started. We're terrible teachers. We were right, we'll we'll send them back for sure.
SPEAKER_00So right now we're just thinking about this year and what's working for our family right now.
SPEAKER_02Or maybe our kids will get so tired of us, they'll be like, please send us back to school, and then maybe we will. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Maybe. I know there will be a lot of togetherness, so that'll be interesting. What is our plan for working and all of that? And that has been something that we have been working on. It wasn't overnight. We had to adjust our work and we had to adjust our work schedule and our business to be able to even try homeschooling.
SPEAKER_02We're still working, but we're figuring out how all that's gonna work.
SPEAKER_00We own a CPA firm, if you don't know, and we uh made some changes this tax season with the way our processes worked, so that we are mostly working remotely with all of our clients. Now we were already like a big percentage of our clients are in different states and different cities, so you know, we email, call, do everything with our computer, not as much in-person stuff anymore, but we had to kind of let go of that in-person stuff, the the lingering stuff. So we tested that out this past tax season just in preparation of all of these changes. And it worked, it went well. And so now it it will be possible for us to work, both working full-time and homeschooling the kids. It's possible. We don't know how you know how it's gonna go, but we did have to make a lot of changes in our our work.
SPEAKER_02But if you if you're interested in homeschooling and if you're listening to this podcast, you probably already know this is one of the things almost everybody knows about homeschool. But you know, the kids are probably doing two hours a day or maybe three, but you know, they're not doing eight hours of school. So if if anyone's wondering how are you possibly going to run a business and then also be a full-time teacher, but you're not. I mean, two hours, and some of that, you know, they'll even be working on their own or reading stuff on their own. And go
Our Why: Control, Health, And Calm
SPEAKER_02back and add up the amount of time that they spend on math reading and history and and science at school, and you'll see that they're only spending about two hours at school as well.
SPEAKER_00That was one thing I was actually surprised when we started doing our initial research was that a lot of people are homeschooling and working full-time. I thought you either had to have one person dedicated to it or I guess some sort of like part-time job or something to make it work. But there are a lot of people homeschooling right now with full-time jobs. Now they have to be flexible with it, but I've even seen people that are working full-time and then they just do schooling like Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And so they do have to do, you know, more than the two hours, but you know, it's working for them. So I was surprised. I thought we were, oh, look at us, we're trying to do something that's never been done, and that was not the case. But we are gonna have a whole episode, we haven't recorded that one yet, but all about our schedule, how we're gonna do it, just to give anybody ideas of how you could do it and work full-time. Flexibility, we're really looking forward to. We love to travel, and so we don't know what the next few years hold for us, but we know this year we are gonna get to travel with the kids while other people are in school, which is really nice. Just have more family time, and yes, it's gonna be hard not getting as many breaks from the kids, but I am looking forward to like having this year with them. Every year that passes by, I'm just like amazed at how fast it goes by. And with our oldest turning 11 on her next birthday, I just feel like it's too fast now. Yeah, I couldn't get it to go fast enough earlier, and now I like it makes me sad, like that she's so old.
SPEAKER_02Right. And well, I mean, when we first started talking about it, I was like, man, we're gonna be around the kids a lot. But you're right, it's it's different because all the time we were around them, it's always like rushing them to get something done, which makes them mad at us and makes us mad because they're not hurrying and we're always running late, and we're always just angry at each other. But when everything calms down, it's like when we're in the summer and everything's chill, it's just it's better. I mean, they're it's just more fun to be around them. I think they like us better too.
SPEAKER_00So it wasn't quality time that we were spending with them. That's the problem.
SPEAKER_02So we were their wardens, not their no.
SPEAKER_00We were just boxing around. We know it's not gonna all go according to plan. We know that we have all of these high hopes for what is to come, and we're gonna have our good days and our bad days, just like when the kids are in school.
SPEAKER_02But we'll be here to tell you all the things we do wrong. So if you ever decide to go down this road, then you won't have the same things. You'll find your own things to do wrong instead.
SPEAKER_00This episode was really just supposed to be about what led us to homeschooling and And we better make the other one shorter or no one will listen to them. Yeah, probably not. Probably we lost like a lot of people already. I don't know. I just felt like I wanted to share everything. I didn't just want to be like, this is the reason we homeschooled, and it just be I just every time I answer that question with someone, I just felt like I want to say more. Like I I want to explain myself. I'm not crazy. I want you to know all the things.
SPEAKER_02I still feel like there's things I didn't say. I feel like I've said more reasons why it's not than reasons why we are. But I just I don't want anyone from where we're leaving from to think that I don't know, like that we don't like them or something.
SPEAKER_00We're not leaving on bad terms with the school. I every single time I had to tell someone at the school, I got emotional because the teachers were sad and the kids the the kids are sad, their friends are sad, and I was just like, are we making it?
What’s Next: Schedules And Specifics
SPEAKER_00We really like our kids.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they really like our kids.
SPEAKER_00Our kids are good kids. They did well in school and their teachers loved them, and so it was so hard telling them. But they made me feel so much better, actually, because every teacher that I had a conversation with when I just kind of told them what was on my heart about it, and that I'm looking forward to like having the time with the kids, even if it doesn't, even if we don't homeschool forever, like I'm looking forward to having them right now. They said, do it, do that because of course they're all moms, like they want their kids back, like they want that time back, and they would have done the same thing.
SPEAKER_02So that's the craziest part is yeah, we got we actually had the least negative reactions from teachers. That's funny, huh? I I don't think that any of them are experiencing what in their heads they hoped teaching was gonna be like. No, they're just they're they're doing the best that anybody could possibly do in the situation that they're put in.
SPEAKER_00So it's not any of those reasons, of course. You've listed a million. We love everybody, we love the principal, all the things. But why homeschool? I have a whole list written down here to just wrap it up. More time with the kids. You know, we're avoiding the phone battles at school, which that isn't even a thing right now. I hope that lasts. More time for the kids to do things that they like to do. We're gonna start teaching them Spanish, we're gonna do some piano lessons, things that we just didn't have time to do because they're at school all day. We get to travel more, we get to do what's right for our gifted kid, and we get to do what's right for our ADHD kid, and we can kind of tailor everything to what they need, not just like the school system. We can have slower mornings. I literally live for weekend mornings with them. So to be able to let everybody wake up slowly is like top on my list, and closer relationships with them. I feel like as they get older, they grow closer to their friends. So glad that we have extra time with them to grow our relationships with them and their relationships with each other and lots more outside time. We're starting our day getting outside, so I think that's gonna be a huge improvement for our oldest. And we can really focus on healthy eating, like they're gonna get in the kitchen with us, we're gonna be able to make lunches at home, no more packing lunches and washing those things. Like, we can really focus on the healthy eating and no standardized tests, they absolutely hate them. We hate that it stresses them out so much, so that's a plus for me. Feeling like I'm just fighting a daily fight every day to get through all the school stuff. I'm looking forward to not having that. And the bullying, and then obviously, what people don't want to say is I hate that we all have to live in fear of school shootings right now, and that is definitely on the pro list for me is I don't have to worry about the kids at school and there be a school shooting.
SPEAKER_02And and for me, it's it's a general thing that has a lot of specific items attached to it that's being in more control over, you know, the kids' upbringing. And I feel like we have delegated more and more to the schools. And in the beginning, we delegated math and reading to the schools, and then we started having them teach the kids more and more stuff, and before you knew it, you know, they eat breakfast and lunch at school. We've delegated two out of three of the meals up there, and then they're there for longer and longer. The school year lasts longer. Then all of a sudden, we're delegating sex ed to the schools. We're delegating teaching the music to the schools, we're delegating all the exercise to the schools. We've completely cut ourselves out of the equation in raising our children, and I want to be in the control of that.
SPEAKER_00No, I agree. I I want to be involved in those things. I know it's not gonna go according to plan. Maybe we've said that too much because I feel like there's a lot of people doubting us. This episode was really just gonna be about what led us here, and I know it was kind of long and chaotic, but I do feel like we were able to say our piece. We have a lot more episodes coming your way. This all the whole reason this podcast exists and you're listening is because our daughter had an idea to start a homeschool podcast and she wants to learn how to edit, and she they're gonna be on the podcast with us. We listen to a family podcast, so I'm sure that's where her idea came from. The episodes coming will definitely this will be our start, and you'll get to see the messy middle.
SPEAKER_02So and if you're looking for instructional things and stuff like that, there will be plenty of that as well. Instructions on what we're doing, how we're doing it, you know, the actual specifics, because there's not a lot of podcasts out there talking about that. I mean, there's plenty of people that talk about why they want to homeschool, and that's what this episode was about. But there's not very many that are like, this is exactly what we do. This is the program we use, this is how we this is our schedule, you know, how fast we're gonna go through the curriculum. I mean, all these things, all the nitty-gritty details.
SPEAKER_00We have listened to a lot of homeschool podcasts, and this is not gonna be like any of those. We are gonna tell you how it's going, what's working, what's not working. If we switch curriculums, we will let you know what we don't like about one, what we do. If our kids start struggling with homeschooling, because a million reasons, we will share that on this podcast. This is just our real life journey of homeschooling this first year. So we're gonna share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Next episode, we're gonna talk more about our schedule and trying to figure that out because that has been hard. When you want to do a million things with your kids and you only have a few hours in the day, it's becoming a little harder to schedule that and a full-time job and workout and you know, all the things.
SPEAKER_02There's not enough day left at the end of the schedule.
SPEAKER_00No, so we're getting a little overzealous on the schedule, but we will share that on the next episode for sure.
SPEAKER_02This was a long one. They won't all be this long, but we hope you tune into the next one and learn everything you can about this process.
SPEAKER_00So that's our wrap for our very first episode of Well, This Wasn't the Plan podcast. We did it. We did it, and this wasn't the plan, so perfect.
SPEAKER_02No, it was definitely not the plan.
SPEAKER_00It was not the plan. Alright, see you next time. Bye. Bye. Okay, here's the dill. We just dropped our first three episodes. If you laughed, nodded along, or yelled same at any point, please do us a favor, leave a review, or hit the subscribe follow button, or share it with a friend. Bonus points if you do all three. It really helps more than you know, especially when we're just getting started. So let's get this little podcast out into the world.