29. Taking Away Recess as Punishment: Should It Be Illegal?

We share big podcast news, a new homeschool guide we built for working parents, and what our week looks like when the kids stay with grandparents during tax season. Then we dig into why recess gets cut so often, how that hits kids’ mental health, and we answer your biggest questions about homeschooling at every age. 


• why taking away recess feels harmful and how often it happens 
• the link between outdoor time, movement, ADHD, anxiety and school burnout 
• parents assuming recess happens and learning it often gets canceled 
• why we still want school systems to change for families who cannot homeschool 
• starting homeschool in middle school or high school and keeping traditional experiences 
• finishing schoolwork in about two hours and using a four-day schedule 
• homeschooling even if you feel bad at school by using modern resources 
• property taxes frustration while choosing what’s best for kids 
• type B parenting and using simple open-and-go curriculum 
• patience improving when life slows down outside the school scramble 
• socialization made intentional through activities and better conversations at home 

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Transcript

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Welcome To Our Homeschool Shift

SPEAKER_02 0:00

These kids don't have that. They don't have control of that. They are stuck in an environment daily that is not conducive to really great mental health. We're two full-time working parents who just made a crazy decision.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

After four years in public school, we're homeschooling our three kids and documenting the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Never in a million years did I think we would be homeschool people.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Welcome to, well, this wasn't the plan podcast.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

I'm Slate, and school's in the kitchen now. I'm Scotty. We saw Scott when I say so. I'm Sailor, and this whole podcast was my idea.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

This podcast is our real-time journey. Unexpectedly juggling homeschool, jobs, parenting, and everything in between.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Follow along each week as we document how it's going and share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because we know some days are going to be ugly, and we're not holding back.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

We're learning to expect the unexpected. So let's get into it.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Let's go.

Chart News And Review Request

SPEAKER_02 1:12

I have some super exciting news to share with everyone. I saw last week when I was scrolling the podcast that our podcast made top charts on Apple Podcasts in our category. So that's the family and home category, which is amazing. Thank you so much for your support. If you haven't left a review, that is how it tells Apple to get people on the top charts and it pushes it to more people. So if you're listening, please leave us a review. We would so appreciate it. And we want to hear what you're thinking. What do you want to hear next? What do you like? What type of episodes do you like? All of those things. So that's exciting. Carson is not on the podcast with me today. There actually was an accounting emergency, which is rare. We don't really have accounting emergencies, but this actually was one this morning. So he was gonna record with me and he didn't get to. So hopefully we will hear more of him next month when tax season is officially over.

Solo Recording And Tax Season

SPEAKER_02 2:12

So this week was different because our kids went to the grandparents for four nights. So that's never happened before. One and two, we just had days where we could sit and get some solid work in. So this was really nice. We were very concerned with how are we gonna get enough work done during tax

Kids At Grandparents And Work Time

SPEAKER_02 2:32

season. And honestly, we've been able to manage it way better than I ever thought. So we're getting creative and just using the time we have wisely, and it's just been more manageable than we thought. The kids have been with their cousins all week and it's been amazing. So we get to go pick them up today, and we've feel like we've got a lot of work done. So it's been nice.

New Homeschool And Work Guide

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Another big exciting news I have is that I've been working on something for months, which is a guide for people that want to homeschool, but specifically people that want to work in homeschool, or let's just say people that need to work in homeschool because I wouldn't work if I didn't have to. But here we are. So I've been working on it for months. I've just been taking all of the questions that I keep getting and answered it, and I've put a lot into it. It's 90 pages packed of what to do if today you're like, nope, we're done, we're homeschooling now, and I don't know where to start. But you could start and it'd tell you step by step what to do from telling your school, giving them the letter that you need, looking up your state requirements, where to find them, documentation, walking you through how to pick a curriculum, how to set up your daily routine, what to do when the kids push back, all of these things. I even have in there, people always ask me, what's a good stay-at-home job? And I have a lot of ideas on that. If you're someone that is going to look for a job that might be more conducive to doing something like this, we have a few people that, you know, for months were looking for jobs and looking, and they did find something that was work from home and would work for them. So where there's a will, there's a way. So that guide, it was live yesterday. I finished it. I'll put the link in the show notes for that. If homeschooling's a bit on your heart and you want a step-by-step from us, that's the best way to get it. But please keep submitting your questions. If you get through that guide and you're like, huh, she didn't answer this one question of mine. Actually put my email in there and I'm telling people to please directly reach out to me and tell me if you didn't get your question answered because I want everything to be in there. I don't want there to be any gaps. If you get it and for some reason your question isn't answered, because we will get it answered, I assure you.

The Recess Debate And Poll Results

SPEAKER_02 4:53

The hot topic this week on my Instagram was I asked everyone if they thought that taking recess away in school should be illegal. I had no one. Yeah, there's no one that replied and said, yeah, taking away recess is a good thing. So I pulled everyone just to see like how much recess are people actually getting? Are the kids actually getting in their schools? Over 40% of kids are getting 20 minutes or less a day. This is a huge problem. I had so many teachers messaging me and telling me that in their school it was even worse. Sometimes it was, you know, only twice a week they were getting a recess. And I'm just, my mind is blown because I knew that it happened a few times to my daughter as like a classroom punishment. She had a really tricky class her last year in school. I knew it was, but she actually didn't tell me all the times that it was. So once I actually asked her about it, she was like, Yeah, a lot. She was like, I wish they would just make us run instead of not letting us go outside, which I absolutely agree with. Like, we have to give them a way to move their bodies, get that energy at all that. I think that should be a right that can't be taken away. So I had so many interesting conversations in my DMs about this. So many parents saying that their kindergartners were not getting recess, that recess is 20 minutes. They have a 20-minute block for recess. It means that part of that time is spent actually getting out there, getting the kids in line, gathering them up. So they're actually not getting to play a whole 20 minutes, which is absurd. And then you go into middle school, and most middle schoolers are not getting outside time at all. It's crazy that we don't understand why kids are not thriving at school or why school is not working for so many people, and so many people are leaving to homeschool. Yet, what are we telling adults when they don't feel well, when they're struggling with their mental health? We're telling them get outside, get some vitamin D, get sun in your face, go for a walk, move your body, get out of your desk, stop looking at technology, drink your water, do something that makes you feel better. And these kids don't have that. They don't have control of that. They are stuck in an environment daily that is not conducive

Why Outdoor Time Shapes Mental Health

SPEAKER_02 7:27

to really great mental health. It's just crazy to me. The fact that we think that they can thrive in this environment and then throw in some ADHD in there, and it's just absolutely insane. A lot of people were also saying that they do have recess daily, but it doesn't happen all the time, you know, because it's hot or cold or it's windy or it's rainy. And so I we saw that a lot. Like I would ask if if my kids are being super crazy after school, I'd be like, Did y'all like a recess today? And they'd be like, No, the playground was too wet, or a bunch of kids in my class didn't bring jackets today, so we didn't get to go out. While I understand the school's problem with that, it's just it should be the top priority. I feel like the top priority should be getting kids outside every single day, even if you have to be creative. Then you had the parents that were completely blindsided, or they just assume that if it says on the paper that they're gonna go outside two times a day for recess for 15 or 20 minutes, they assume that it actually happens. And that was me too. I assumed that because her schedule showed that, that it was actually happening. And the thing is, it wasn't. So maybe out of five days, three times recess got canceled because of either weather, there being a behavior problem, or something. So just because your child paper says they're going to recess didn't always mean that they're actually going to recess. So this is a giant issue, and absolutely one of the top reasons that we're homeschooling.

Recess Reality Weather And Punishment

SPEAKER_02 9:03

It is crazy how much our children have changed their happiness, their attitudes, anxiety levels, everything. We started seeing this in the summers. Once they were older, parenting just got a lot easier. I just had this like gut feeling when I would send them back after summer. I would be like, man, we were in such a good groove. They're so happy. And then now we're gonna go into this crazy year of school year, and it made me unhappy doing it. It was just too much all at once, and they also weren't thriving. So I feel like we see that during the summer when the kids are getting so much more time to just be and to play and get outside. So, definitely one of the top, top reasons that we decided to homeschool was because the kids need to be outside. Their mental health is suffering because they're not getting outside. And the kids are telling us this. The number of kids begging to be homeschooled is insane right now. Let me know what y'all think about the recess issue. I know it's different in every single state. Someone told me that Texas said it was illegal to take away the recess, but I don't believe that's true. And if it was true, they're definitely breaking that rule. A girl from our school district that worked in all of the schools in the district actually messaged me and said, you wouldn't believe how bad it is. How many times recess is being taken away? And she told me like the top offenders, and she said, You are not wrong. It is absolutely happening. So, whatever everyone says, you have to listen to the people inside the school system. And I'm so glad that she shared that because sometimes as parents, we feel crazy whenever you say something, and then the school turns around and says, No, that's not the case. Well, it absolutely is the case from inside the school. That's what she said and confirmed. Let me know what you guys think about that, what your opinion is on that. Though we are homeschooling, that doesn't mean that we don't want schools to change. The school systems absolutely need to change. And I will do anything in

Homeschooling As A Response To School

SPEAKER_02 11:13

my power to get the ball rolling on that change because our kids are suffering. Not everyone can homeschool. It's not great for everyone. People do have to work, and we need to make schools better. I wanted to end the episode with questions that I got in my question box this

Listener Questions Middle School And Beyond

SPEAKER_02 11:31

week. If you don't follow me on Instagram, on there, I'll usually ask questions every single week so that we can answer them on the podcast. So the questions that came in this week were about homeschooling for middle school and high schoolers. We've always said we're taking it a year at a time, but yes, our plan is to continue homeschooling. Actually, a lot of people end up pulling out their kids during that time. Middle school is actually really tough. Someone asked if they thought it was too late to start homeschooling in middle school. Absolutely not. If your kid is suffering, I think absolutely take them out. If homeschooling doesn't work, you can always put them back in, but try it. It's not gonna hurt to try. Is middle school and high school a good time to homeschool? I absolutely think that it is. I think that there's so many ways for them to be active in Texas. They can actually try out for the sports teams. And I've

Two Hour School Days And Four Days

SPEAKER_02 12:26

heard from kids that have done that and really enjoyed it. So there's those things for them. There is proms and dances and get togethers, all the things. Like they're not gonna be missing out on that. They can still do those traditional experiences, they can still do graduation, all of that. Just find a program to do that through. And then I think that it's like a superpower to be able to homeschool during those years because they can really hone in on what their like future path is gonna look like. And they can do so much more with that time. School only takes a couple hours a day. So they have all that time for other things. Our kids are gonna start their own business when they are middle school, high school age-ish. And we're gonna help them get the business set up, run the accounting, run QuickBooks, do marketing just as a big project. It doesn't have to be like a business that they do forever or a large business, just something small that they get their feet wet. So we're gonna do that. I'm also gonna push them to try things. If they think they want to be a doctor, then let's do some more research about it. Like let's get you in some sort of thing where you can see what it's actually gonna be like. I think that's such a big problem with kids and picking your future, is that it's so hard because you have no experience. So I really want them to deep dive into things that they think they might do. That way, they're not just spiraling. I want them to try as much as possible, investigate some routes that they think might fit, and we'll help them with that. We'll have so much more time to do all that. So I think that it's a huge flex to be able to homeschool in junior high and high school, but that's just my opinion. The next question was can you really do it in two hours? My answer is absolutely yes, you can homeschool in two hours. Some people argue with that sometimes and say, Oh, my kids take all day. Obviously, every person, every child is different, but we homeschool all three of ours between two and two and a half hours a day. Sometimes they drag their feet, absolutely. Slate the other day was working on his language arts. Gosh, I don't know, three hours, three and a half hours, but I wasn't sitting there with him the whole time. He was just goofing off around. So I'm like, when you get finished, by all means, let me know. I'll check it, and you can move on with your day. We do have days like that, but it truly takes two hours. And the thing is, our kids are young, they need a lot of help, they need just to hold their hand and read their instructions, make sure they're staying on task, all of that. But as they get older, we're not hand holding. They're gonna be doing it themselves. They might have some different type of curriculum where they have a teacher and things like that. Even our almost fifth grader, she is doing a lot of it herself and she is managing her time herself. So two hours, guys. We can do it in two hours. And if your kids are taking so long, then you can even split it into more days. We only do four days a week. So if you want it to be an hour or you want it to be two hours, maybe add an additional day and do less every single day. So two hours is absolutely doable.

You Do Not Need To Be A Teacher

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Someone said I'm horrible at school. Can I homeschool? Absolutely. You wouldn't believe the number of things I'm looking up on Google. Horrible at remembering this stuff. I need to teach myself long division again. So far, my husband is doing it because he remembers. I thought it was funny because I saw a video that basically said, you're questioning whether or not you're capable of teaching your kids you want to send them to the school that you went to. And look at you, if you don't think that you can do it and you don't think your education is good enough, but you want to send them back there, I thought that was funny. So you don't need to be good at all of this. All you need to do is be their leader and make sure that the work is getting done. There's too many resources for you to tell yourself that you cannot do this. You don't have to be a teacher, you don't even have to be very smart to be able to make sure that your kids do school every single day when they're supposed to do it.

Property Taxes And Choosing Homeschool

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Someone asked how we can justify homeschooling when we have to pay property taxes. And I'm so glad Carson wasn't on here for this one because he would go off on a major rant on this. We actually have to pay property taxes on two houses, two different school districts. So it's quite expensive, and we're not even using it. That's just something that's a pain in the ass that we do hate. But it's not gonna cause me to send them to school if it's bad. So maybe one day that will change. Someone said I'm type B.

Type B Parents And Simple Curricula

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Can I do it? Absolutely. My husband Carson is very, very type B. And once we started talking about homeschooling, he looked into so many things, and he is maybe not the best at coming up with like a daily routine for us. Like that was all me. But he is really good at sitting down and getting it done. Like our curriculum is very easy to follow. Like he is so good at the homeschooling part, and he's super, super tight B. What you have to do is just make sure that you keep your kids' education a priority. I imagine if you are thinking about it and you are listening to this podcast, you have what it takes to make sure that you guys just do school every day. Just pick an easy curriculum so that it's open and go, and you don't have to prep anything like that.

Patience And Escaping The School Scramble

SPEAKER_02 18:00

I get this one a lot. How do you have the patience to homeschool? And I know this is not everyone's experience. It's going to be person to person, but I am not the most patient parent. Carson would be way more patient than me. I always wish that I had his patience. So I would not consider myself a super patient parent. I feel more patient with them being home with me all day than I did in the school scramble. Getting them to school, getting everything organized, packing the lunches, talking to the teachers, kids getting sick all the time, projects, sign up geniuses, snack things, taking off work to go to school functions, all of the things. I just, I was a mess during that time with three kids in school. I hated it. It just didn't feel right to me. Dragging my kids out of their bed to get them to school and rush, rush, rush all the time. It felt horrible. So now that I feel better and our life has slowed down a lot, I am more patient. It's not that I'm a super patient parent. I just, this makes me more patient. So I'm interested to hear if anyone feels the same way because I absolutely feel like I'm so much more patient with them home 24-7 than I did when they were gone eight hours a day. I know it's wild. And finally, the question I get probably once a day is about socialization.

Socialization Done On Purpose

SPEAKER_02 19:23

She says she feels like it that's the biggest part to her that she doesn't know if she can tackle the responsibility to socialize our kids. I do urge anyone listening to this that feels the same way to listen to the second part two of the teacher episode we had on a couple weeks back. She talks about what socialization is like in schools. And she's about to homeschool and says, I'm absolutely not worried about it. And here's why. So listen to that. That's coming from someone that taught for 10 years and know what she's talking about. But for me, I feel like we put a lot of pressure on ourselves of the socialization aspect. And you should take it seriously, make sure that your kids are getting out, getting around other kids, doing all of that. But it's just not as stressful as I was thinking. I think the best way to look at it is when your kids are home on summer break, how do you socialize them? Do you get together with cousins? Do you meet up with their friends? Do you take them to do things? How do they socialize? So if you look at it that way, you already know the answer. And then there are so many other ways to do it. And I think if you just want to start, simply sign your kids up for a few things. And then the next semester, try some other things. You will quickly realize that type of socialization with those groups of people is much more intentional and beneficial. So I just love that the socialization that they're getting is better, honestly. It's a better quality of people. It is less in their face. So if they are around kids that maybe I don't really want them to be around, or that's not the person I would pick to be their friend, then it's only for a short time. And then we get to talk about it and we get to actually address socialization instead of just putting them into a mosh pit at school and saying, figure it out. And my kids, by the time they got home, were just not gonna share that much with me, or they forgot, or I don't know. You know, you ask them, how's your day? And they're like, Great, that was fine, that was good, whatever. I didn't really get those things, but now I do, and I love it because we can talk about it and we talk about friendships and about the types of friends that you want to have and how to handle those situations. I think that socialization this way is much better, much more intentional. So that is it for today.

Closing Review And Subscribe

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Hopefully, Carson will be back with me next episode. Episode. And if you haven't, please leave us a review. I love reading those, and I will share a few on the next podcast episode. So until next time, thank you so much for listening to Well, This Wasn't the Plan podcast.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

We worked you really hard on this podcast. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss a single podcast episode. Thank you. Have a good day.