32. The Week That Made Us Question Homeschooling

Homeschooling didn’t break us, but tax season almost did. When you’re two full-time working parents, the hard days don’t look like a cute worksheet moment. They look like nonstop noise, kids picking at each other, and that very real parenting thought of “I just need five minutes of quiet.” We say the part out loud that many families hide, then we talk through what we’re doing about it. 

Transcript

A Loud House And A Big Pivot

SPEAKER_05 0:00

This week has just been crazy with the kids, and it's the feeling of oh my gosh, why are you guys so loud? Why are y'all fighting all the time? I just want to get away from you feeling. We're two full-time working parents who just made a crazy decision.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

After four years in public school, we're homeschooling our three kids and documenting the whole thing.

SPEAKER_05 0:25

Never in a million years did I think we would be homeschool people.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Welcome to, well, this wasn't the plan podcast.

SPEAKER_04 0:33

I'm slate, and school's in the kitchen now. I'm Scotty. We just got when I say so. I'm Sailor, and this whole podcast was my idea.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

This podcast is our real-time journey, unexpectedly juggling homeschool, jobs, parenting, and everything in between.

SPEAKER_05 0:55

Follow along each week as we document how it's going and share the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because we know some days are going to be ugly, and we're not holding back.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

We're learning to expect the unexpected. So let's get into it.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Let's go.

Tax Season Stress Hits Homeschool

SPEAKER_05 1:16

So it's very, very early today, which I don't think Carson wants to be here at all. Probably last on his list.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_05 1:28

It's early and obviously it's tax season.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

So I wish it was earlier and more tax seasoning.

SPEAKER_05 1:35

But it's perfect for the episode that we're going to talk about today, which is the difficult parts of homeschooling. Because the reason that we're here doing the podcast super early when we have a million other things to do is because we committed to it and we said we were going to do it. And today it's not so fun. But other days it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

We did promise to give you the good, the bad, and the ugly. And so far it's been a lot more positive than we thought it would be. And we were trying to be honest with everyone, and we have been. It's just was better than we thought it was going to be. But it does suck right now because we're so busy. And we thought, well, hey, maybe we'll just get someone, I don't know, like a tutor, to help us out for for the two or three worst weeks of tax season. And no, nobody, nobody took the job.

SPEAKER_05 2:26

Well, we didn't plan ahead. So if we would have known, because it was going so well, we just didn't think we really needed it, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Yeah, we we didn't think so, but here we are.

SPEAKER_05 2:41

So the whole reason for this episode, and we'll talk a little bit more about the tutor situation. The whole reason is that I was talking to my friends about like my content around homeschooling

Why They Sound So Positive

SPEAKER_05 2:52

and everything. And she made the point that maybe if I talked a little bit more about the struggle sometimes that people would relate more. I guess she was trying to say in a nice way that I'm being too positive. So I was like, I totally get that. I understand where you're coming from. And I just said, just to back that up, I think coming from public school to this, I just feel so positive about it because it feels easier to me. It truly feels easier to me. And so I don't, it's not like I'm not sharing it because I'm covering it up. I'm just, that's how I feel. And she said, okay, perfect. Share that. Okay, you know, share that part of it. And so I just wanted to point out, and if you listen to the episode about the teacher, so the teacher came on and she talked about working as a teacher and how hard it is to be a working parent. And I think that that's where it, that's where the difference comes from. We've always been working parents. It was hard to drop them off at daycare. It was hard to do everything we've done school-wise up until this point, because you're always trying to juggle two things. So the juggle for us isn't really any different, you know?

SPEAKER_01 4:16

I I think that is a big part of it. Yeah. Cause we're all we're we're relative creatures, humans, I think. And relatively it's easier, you know, and that's that's a big part of it. So if we had gone from having no kids to homeschooling three children, or if we had gone from just having three, you know, toddlers and babies that weren't in school to homeschooling three children, it probably would have seemed really hard. But compared to what we were doing before, most of the time it doesn't. And I think that's, you know, where we're coming from with so much positivity.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Where, you know, the goal was to tell you all everything we we screwed up, everything that was hard, everything that made us want to pull our hair out. And I don't just, there hasn't been as much because I'm always comparing it to, well, it could be a lot worse.

SPEAKER_05 5:02

Absolutely. I think that that is the thing. And I admittedly am not a very positive person. I'm I'm not a negative person either. I'm just real. Like if I'm having a shitty day, I'm gonna be like, I'm having a shitty day. I'm not gonna be like, well, it could be worse. Like I I love people that are like that. I truly do. It just that's not who I am. So when something isn't working for me, you're gonna hear about it. And you're gonna hear about it until I find some sort of solution to make it a little bit better.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Yeah, you you didn't get that from your your her Taryn's grandmother, it like if her leg got cut off, she'd be like, Well, I'm glad I still have that other one. Like that's how she is. She's she sees the positive in everything.

SPEAKER_05 5:48

So And I love that. If I could have equality, that would be it. But I'm just not. I I couldn't pretend like I'm liking my job or or whatever. I just can't.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

So if Taryn won the lottery, but the ticket gave her a paper cut, she'd be like, man, this paper cut really hurts.

SPEAKER_05 6:04

It's not true. That is not true. I'm just a person that likes to pivot if something doesn't feel right, which obviously is how we got into this situation with homeschooling. But I think that the positivity is just coming from it to me, it 1000% feels easier than sending them to school. And it also feels like I can get more work done, which I know everyone seems doubtful of that, but I was just thinking about this yesterday. I used to take the kids to drop them off to school, and we had a bit of a drive. And then I would stop work out at a mom's workout class, get back home, and clean up a little bit from the craziness that was getting three kids out the door and then get to work about 10. And so I had to stop about 2:30 to get them. And sometime in there, there was like a lunch break, things like that. I truly was never getting four hours of uninterrupted work ever.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Right.

SPEAKER_05 7:08

I also had so many days that there was something else, whether I needed to be there because they were having like a book performance, or I had a parent-teacher conference, or they didn't have school that day because the football team was going to playoffs. There were just so many constant interruptions to my work that I do truly get more work time done this way. And for me and a type A person to get it done in the morning and look over the emails and get things done that need to be done first thing, it feels better. I don't have to come in after having a shit show of a morning, trying to get the kids to school, packing lunches, making sure that they are dressed up the way they should be dressed up for dress up day, all the things. Try to get my workout in, get home, get cleaned up a little bit because I know after school will be crazy, and then try to be in the brain space to be a working mom. It just was not working for me.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

On top of the fact that you probably have more total hours available to you now to work, most people are more efficient when they start first thing in the morning and work. So I mean, this this new schedule, I think we both get more done this way.

SPEAKER_05 8:21

Absolutely. So the point I'm trying to make is being a working parent, and I'm sure many of you listening are working parents, it's never easy. There are certain times of year, you know, maybe you don't have tax season, but you have a different time of year that you're very busy, that you feel this the way we're going to talk about today. And this hasn't changed. We we felt this way even last year. Our kids were in school and these feelings came up. So I just think as a working parent, you just never have the luxury of having a one task on your mind type thing. You know, you can't just focus on homeschooling and what are we gonna do today? And what project could we do that's

When The Kids Start Melting Down

SPEAKER_05 9:05

fun and where could we go? We're never gonna have that luxury. And we didn't have that with school either. Let's talk about this week and the stuff that's happened and the feelings that have come up so everyone can know that we're not just positive pans over here.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 9:22

This week has just been crazy with the kids, and it's the feeling of oh my gosh, why are you guys so loud? Why are y'all fighting all the time? I just want to get away from you feeling. And if you're a parent, you've absolutely had that feeling about your kids before. So it's probably not surprising to anyone. I just, that was the feeling I thought maybe would have a lot of the time, just because we're together 24-7. But it really hasn't been that way until now.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

I think that they're probably picking up some of our stress and, you know, and getting less attention from us right now. Only one more week of this, but yeah. And so I think that that's making them act crazier. They're probably all going stir crazy. I usually take them and do a lot of different stuff outside with them that I haven't been able to do. So I think we're all feeling the stress from that, and it's making them act crazy. And our patience for it is less because, you know, we're so busy and tired. So that's been hard. I made them all pull weeds yesterday.

SPEAKER_05 10:28

Yeah. They've just been fighting and picking at each other. And I'm just, we're just tired of hearing it. We've done a lot of creative consequences, writing sentences, running down the street together, picking weeds yesterday. And it's just, I don't know, they're at each other's throats this week. And honestly, it's been pretty good. I think they've been getting used to being around each other and the fighting was better, but we've had these just a crazy week. And you're right, it probably is due to us working more and just this time of year. But we had that whenever they went to school almost every single day when we picked them up. It was craziness. So the trade-off is that we're still seeing that just this time of year when we're busy. You can't pick a scenario that's always gonna be good. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

No, that's just that's just the way it is, you know. And the the kids, there's three. And when there's three, people always say you should might as well have four if you're gonna have three because somebody's always left out. And it's true. I mean, that's and I think that's why whoever gets left out starts being crappy towards the other ones.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

And that causes fighting. And a lot of times, not all the time when it's not tax season, but a lot of the time when it's not tax season, I'll just take whichever one is not, you know, the the one that's getting left out and I'll hang out with them.

SPEAKER_05 11:52

So Yeah. These things also happened when they were in school. And if you're listening, going, I just don't think that I can be around my kids that much. I mean, that was definitely one of our fears. I just think that you're gonna have these times or periods or phases as a parent where you feel that way. And so with homeschooling, it's what do you do? Like I have seen a lot of people talk about getting in a rut. And you can get in a rut with anything, right? I don't think that we've been homeschooling long enough to be in a rut. Right. You know, like we haven't been doing it eight years, like some of these moms. So I absolutely can see that. I just think that when that happens for me, I just remind myself that no option is a perfect option. So I can't pick something and be like, yeah, well, if they were in school, we wouldn't have this. There's always something. So when I get in my head and I'm like, oh, I do not want to do homeschool today, like I've got so much work to do, wish we couldn't. I just remind myself that every situation has bad days. So I think that that's likely what most moms need to. I think the beauty here is that when you do have a long night

Taking Breaks Without Falling Behind

SPEAKER_05 13:07

or everyone is just off or whatever, you can say no to homeschooling. Now you can't say no all the time. You have to be consistent. And that's part of it is having the pressure of their education on you. But you can. Like we had a super late night for Easter and we were planning on homeschooling that Monday. And we were like, nope, we had the longest day ever. The kids need to sleep in. We're not doing it. And so I like being able to just like play it by ear sometimes. And when you need a break, take it. It's not hard to take a break, whereas it definitely is hard to take a break when they're in school.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Right. And if I mean, if you're we're gonna keep going through summer and maybe not as intensely as we do during the regular school year, but we are planning to do that. And that also gives you some freedom. It means that if you have to miss a day here or there during the year, I mean, it doesn't matter. They're all gonna be through their curriculum before the end of the regular school year anyway.

SPEAKER_05 14:04

So Right. And the hard part for us is that we were super enjoying like being their teachers and sitting down and doing homeschool. And then we both were like, oh, we are not enjoying it right now.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

No.

SPEAKER_05 14:18

We're so busy that our brain is elsewhere and we just don't want to do it. And that we hate that, but we can't change that.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

It's that's the same for everything, though. Like I really enjoy coaching them in basketball, and I was really enjoying it this season too. And then as we got into the busiest part of tax season, man, I just I don't want to go to practice, you know, on the weekdays. And I mean, we have to. We made a commitment, so we do it, but it's it's it's hard.

SPEAKER_05 14:47

Coming from this super busy time, all we can do is try to make a plan for next year and make it better.

Hiring Help And Getting Creative

SPEAKER_05 14:55

And what we are now thinking of doing is getting a tutor to come during tax season. And so I've already been putting like some fillers out and trying to get like a retired teacher or a college student or even a high school student that's homeschooled who wants to make some extra money. Because the nice part is the kids are like in a really good routine. So they don't really need a lot of teaching. They definitely just need someone to make sure they're sitting there doing the work. It gets done. We get make sure that we get through all of their checks for the day. And then, you know, we could even check their work. So we're gonna plan better for next year. And that just gives us a break for like the very stressful, busiest time of our year.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Right. And it makes sure that they're still getting all the attention that they need.

SPEAKER_05 15:45

Yes. I think that that will be better for everyone. And I just love that we are able to do that. Like we have an option to do whatever we want. Like we could literally hire a teacher with other families and make our own school if we wanted to.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Right. Like, and this won't be for like the whole spring semester. This will be like four to six weeks tops.

SPEAKER_05 16:06

Yeah. So I actually heard from a mom in my homeschooling group, and she said, Hey, I have a 17-year-old and she's amazing with kids, CPR certified. She's not a teacher, but she absolutely could help your kids run through their homeschool if you're open to it. You know, she's looking to make some extra money, and it would probably be much cheaper for you than like an actual tutor or something. I was like, absolutely, like, let's try it. So I think getting creative is obviously something that you might have to do as a working homeschool parent.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 16:42

The next

Letting Go Of Pinterest Homeschool

SPEAKER_05 16:43

thing that's like super hard, I feel like for me, probably not for you, is that I meet homeschool moms and they have all of these things they're doing and projects, and they have like a science spectrum membership, and they go to meetups and all of these things, like like what you would envision in homeschool and like the picture perfect homeschool. Like they paint and then they make like a salt dough craft and things like that. And sometimes it's like a little frustrating to me that I can't do all those things. Not that I would want to do all of them, but I can't even like I just don't have the time in the day. I have our school has to look a lot like traditional school, just shorter.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Right.

SPEAKER_05 17:27

And like I shared a video, like our homeschooling routine, and some lady was like, that looks awful and super boring. Like you're just using books. I'm like, well, yeah, is that not how everyone else does it?

SPEAKER_01 17:43

They learn all kinds of things, but when you're learning the math and the language arts portion, I can't think of a better way to do it. We tried the computer and that didn't work. I mean, there's visual aids for some of the math stuff if you need it, but the thing is, our kids all have math brains and they don't need that. If you need the little cubes to learn addition, like some of the kids did, if you're that, if you're a kinetic learner or whatever, then that's fine. But our kids are all both visual and auditory learners, and you tell them or you show them in the book, and they've got it. And we don't need to waste time on all that stuff. If they want to build something, they build it. They do Legos almost every day. They build with tinker toys, they do all this stuff that's not boring. We use the books to get the school out of the way in under two hours so that they can do other things that they learn from. Now, if we do history and science and stuff like that, we're not going to be doing it with textbooks. We're going to be doing science experiments, or we're going to be doing, you know, fun, interactive lessons for history. So that that part people haven't seen as much of that yet. But we're, that's what we're doing or going to do anyway.

SPEAKER_05 18:50

Yeah. I mean, when I say our homeschooling routine, like they're learning so much. It's not all within that two hours, you know, of the sitting down and doing stuff. But I we believe that you have to. You have to sit and write. You have to sit and do your math. Like you have to sit and do those things. Like, I don't think they should sit for seven or eight hours. But yes, we do have to sit for two hours. Our kids don't really get a lot of breaks in those two hours. Like a lot of people say, yeah, but we take lots of brain breaks. We don't. We're like, get back to it. Now, Scotty only takes about 30 minutes to sit with her and do it. But the older two were like, let's get it done. Let's get it done. Because we have to check homeschooling off our list. Homeschooling cannot take all day, like just so that they can have a snap break and a play break and a play break. Like, we just don't have that luxury. Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. We just cannot do that. We have to sit down and get it done.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

I th I think the people that are probably saying stuff like that, they're not seeing, they're they're not seeing all your videos. They're probably not following you all the time because they don't see that the kids are reading and listening to audiobooks. They're learning from all of that stuff. And those are fun ways to learn. And then they're building things and doing crafts and stuff like that. It's just not, it's not on the schedule, right? That's that's free time. They have a very limited thing that's on a schedule. The rest of it, they're free to choose what they want to learn and how they want to learn the rest of the day. We don't say like 7:30 a.m., we're gonna build Legos. 8:30 a.m., we're going to play with Play-Doh. We don't do that.

SPEAKER_05 20:27

And the correct term that would make it sound super fancy, like we know what we're doing, is passion projects. Oh, yeah. They get their passion projects. And so they get to pick what they want to do.

unknown 20:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:37

And they all have lots of passion projects every single day.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

That mess up our house every single day.

SPEAKER_05 20:44

They're so creative. So I think that this episode may be a good little reminder that no, we don't feel all warm and butterflies inside all the time, especially right now. Guys, we are counting down the days. We are drowning right now. We just want the 15th to get here.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

I'm counting down the minutes till this podcast is over.

SPEAKER_05 21:07

So that person did not want to do the podcast. You know, we've got too many things on our plate, obviously. But the thing to remember is it's it doesn't last forever. Any season doesn't last forever. That's what we're telling ourselves. I saw a really good video that I think was a good reminder that homeschool looks different every single year. It's a homeschooling family that has some older kids. And the two older girls usually go to a coffee shop in the mornings because they can drive and finish their homeschool together. Like that's their little routine. And then they come back and I saw like a day in their life. And I was like, that is just so like nice to see that the progression, right? We're not always gonna be hand holding these kids. Heck, if they're homeschooling and high school, we're gonna be working through taxis and they're not even gonna be needing us

Homeschool Changes As Kids Grow

SPEAKER_05 21:58

to finish their stuff, you know. So it's just it was a good reminder to me that it's not always gonna look the same. Like we almost have a a junior higher middle schooler. So they have already taken a lot of responsibility themselves. And the fact that they can easily run through homeschooling so well is just a reminder that it keeps getting easier.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 22:25

So are you ready to wrap this tack this tax return up? Are you ready to wrap this podcast up?

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 22:34

Okay.

Reviews Subscribes And Closing

SPEAKER_05 22:35

If you love this episode, please leave us a review. We would appreciate that. And until next time, thank you so much for listening to Well, this wasn't the Planned Podcast.

unknown 22:46

Podcast.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss a single podcast episode. Thank you. Have a good day.