Can Traveling Inspire You to Run Marathons & Write Novels? - with Guest Ruth Douthitt

Join Shannon Rene' Bednarova as she interviews guest Ruth Douthitt (artist, author, ultramarathoner and grief counselor) about her inspiring travel experiences in Italy, her work in grief support, and how travel and the arts can aid in healing and personal growth. Discover how Italy's beauty and culture can transform your soul and inspire new stories and personal growth at any point in life.

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ArtbyRuth

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Thank you for listening!  I welcome your feedback and suggestions or you simply let me know if you are enjoying the show. You can reach me at Shannon@ALadyWellTravelled.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Hello and welcome to A Lady Well Traveled. I'm Shannon Benrova, your host and creator. If you've never joined us on A Lady Well Traveled, this show is all about everything travel. I like to bring guests and information to you that can transform your travel and make it less stressful so that your entire experience is something that you're going to enjoy and remember for a lifetime. I'm so excited today because I want to introduce you to a very special lady. She's an author, podcaster, wife, and a mom. She's earned a master's degree in mental health and wellness. She also serves as a mental health and wellness advocate and a trained grief support group facilitator with Grief Share. She's also an avid runner and has completed many marathons and ultra marathons. Phew! I'm just exhausted. She's done so many great things and so many wonderful accomplishments. She's also a sister in Christ, which I love that. She loves exploring God's creation and his nature. And she also believes in the inherent healing power of the beauty of our world for those who are grieving and hurting. One more amazing thing that she's done is she has a book coming out on April 14th. It's my pleasure to introduce you to Ruth Dowhit. Ruth, please say hello to everybody and fill in any of the areas that I have missed in this incredible resume.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Oh, thank you, Shannon. This is so fun. Thank you for having me on your amazing podcast. Oh, you pretty much covered it all. I definitely am an advocate for grief support, helping people and definitely get healing from nature. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Thank you so much for agreeing to be on the podcast. I was so happy when we connected because you wanted to talk about your series of books that you wrote about traveling in Italy. And goodness gracious, I could talk about Italy all day. What was it about Italy that made you want to explore the country? Is that a place that you've always dreamed about going? It's somewhere you've always wanted to visit. Is it a place that you saw in movies or read about in books yourself? Is it because you love the food, the wine, the architecture? All of that.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

I say yes, all of the above. Um I think when I was a kid, I saw Roman Holiday with Art Byrne and Gregory Pack. So that was probably my introduction to Rome. And then my husband and I were bouncing around locations to go to for our 30th wedding anniversary back in 2018. And my niece had just got back from Italy and she said, Go to So I said, Okay, and I wanted to do a marathon. Uh I love doing vacation races. So I Googled, and sure enough, there's a marathon in Rome. So we booked it. And in April 2018, we landed in Rome, and it was spectacular. I I saw it the best way you can running through the streets of Rome. That was amazing. My husband and I are both artists, so just imagine two artists standing in this amazing city full of art and architecture and those fountains. Oh my goodness, the history. We toured the Vatican, and I'd always wanted to see the statue of David, one of my bucket list things. My husband had seen it. He was in the Marine Corps, and they were stationed off the coast of Nice, France. And so he traveled extensively in that area and he was able to go to Rome and Florence. But I had never seen it. So I think one of the biggest highlights of the trip was seeing the statue of David. All the artwork, the statues, the tapestries, and but running through Rome is what gave me the story. God gave me a story when I crossed the finish line. That was the first thing I said to my husband was God just gave me a story. And he said, You're kidding. And I told him, You would not believe what just happened to me on this marathon. And that's what gave me the inspiration to write The Doors of Rome and then The Windows of Venice and then the Streets of Florence, that Love and Romance in Italy series. I wanted to get women our age excited about traveling, about having an adventure, because I I just turned 51 at the time we went. And so many women that age should be like, that's it. It's over. I'm all done. I retire, I play golf, and that's about it. But I had an adventure in Rome, and I I really wanted to write a story about a woman my age heading over there and having an adventure that just blows her mind. Wow, Italy just calls to me. And we went to Venice two years ago. And oh, I tell you, we've we've been through Rome extensively. I definitely want to go back to the coastal towns on both sides. So yeah, there's still so much to do, but to answer your question, it really was the food, the art, the architecture, history, right? The biblical history.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

We've been to France, but I think Italy was far more romantic. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

I love that. That's an amazing story that it just touched you so deeply when you were there. I'm gonna talk a little about that too, because I just feel like Italy is a place where every time I go, I'm at home. But is Italy one of those places that when you get there, because you're a grief counselor and you work in the mental health field, is that a place where you can tell people, I would recommend this as a place to go to heal from personal hurt? Or is this a place where you can tell women, or men for that matter, to go and rediscover yourself or get in touch with who you are again? Because if you did, you'd be in the company of millions. So many people travel to do that, but Italy just seems to touch something within the soul of so many of us. Can you talk a little bit about that for our listeners?

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Absolutely. I mean, that was the reason I wrote my books, is because these women in the stories, they're in their 50s and they want adventure, they crave it, and Italy gives it to them. So, yes, I have often advised women uh and men to go to Italy. Like my niece told me, go to Rome. Because there's nature, there's beauty, there's water. You know, if you're a type of person who needs the ocean, it has that. You're the type of person who needs the hills, it has that. You just want to be in a big city, it has that. You know everything for me. I didn't even know it, but it was so healing uh because I ran by the locals and they were cheering for us in the in the marathon, and I I got to talk with a lot of people, and you just feel so in touch. So, yeah, the women in my books are hurting. The first woman, Millie, she went with her best friend because her husband didn't want to go. So she's kind of struggling with maybe I made a mistake, maybe I should move here to Rome. Maybe this is where I'm supposed to be. Then in the second book, Joy, she's hurting because she just went through a bitter divorce. Her husband of many years dumped her for a younger woman. So she heads to Venice for her own healing and her own adventure, and she finds it, and she also finds love. And right when this second chance romance happens, a second chance at life, her ex-husband shows up to woo her back. Of course. Now she's like, Oh, great. So that is a story of a woman who's healing from being jilted and being hurt like that, and she's wondering, Should I take another chance and trust love again? And Venice just speaks to her, you know, the water, the people, the canals, everything. Then the third book is in Florence, where these three friends head over there, and one of them is healing from grief, the loss of her husband. And she finds solace, she finds healing, and she and her friends become matchmakers. They find a young American waitress there who is desperately in love with a waiter, but he's already in arranged marriage, and so the three of them feel obligated to get this couple together. In that book, you have Healing from Loss and the City Helps Her. You have food, lots of wine. You have these friends who are all in their 50s and they come together to help one another heal. So many of them have been through such significant hurt. They definitely do come together. So, yeah, to answer your question, I have told many people get to Italy. It has so many facets, so many diversions. You just you go there and you just forget. It's just so beautiful because you could be walking in the modern area of Rome and you see Gucci and Armani and Chanel. Then you turn the corner and there's where Julius Caesar was killed.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

You turn another corner and oh, there's this incredible fountain, you know. So it's so magical. Yeah, I definitely recommend folks there. And that was kind of the the idea behind the stories of healing, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

I love that. Yeah. I I tell people that Italy was one of the places that I traveled to around the world that when I got there, I just felt like I was at home. Like these were my people. This was my food. This was my land. Uh, these people were just like me. They were loud and passionate and they talked with their hands. We're just my people. Maybe we didn't speak the same language, but we just got along really well. And we liked to hug each other, and their food was so great. And I just loved everything about it. And I just, you know, everything, I just felt so at home. And what was what was about? And every as soon as I left, I missed it, and I just couldn't wait until I got back there. And that's just kind of a a really weird feeling when you go to somewhere that's totally foreign, but you're like, wow, I'm just back where I always should have been. I don't know if it's just because there's something so ancient about it and primordial that it just touches our soul and and how we feel, and it's walking in the footsteps of Paul, you know, but being a Christian and knowing that, you know, Paul was in Rome and and uh, you know, a lot of the early church was there and this, that, and the other. Yeah, yeah. And you know, going to St. Peter's and just, you know, seeing everything that you see there is just so incredible. But like I said, I love to laugh, I love to cry, and Italy is just one of those places where I think if you've never been, if your heart is closed or hurt or wounded for whatever reason, your heart's gonna open up.

unknown 12:05

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

That can't be but a good thing for a person. Um now, I appreciate you you talking about the book series because you said when you crossed that finish line, the book series idea just popped out of your head. But did you know that you were gonna do the three books, or did you have that idea for the first book when you crossed the finish line?

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Just the first book because we had gone there for a vacation, but I also wanted to run the marathon and I hadn't really trained. I had run an ultra marathon that December and then registered for the race in January. My husband said, Are you sure you can be ready for a marathon by April? And I said, Oh yeah, sure. No problem.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

No problem.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

But I didn't realize how warm it was gonna be that day. And we here don't start our races until about 6 30 in the morning. And the race there in Rome started at 9 a.m. So that was already I was a little put off by that and wondering, okay, how am I gonna handle this? Um, and then there was cobblestone, lots and lots of cobblestone, seven miles of hills, a very famous seven hills. Oh yeah. And uh so that blew me away too. But I was able to really take in the scenery, stop and take pictures. I you know, I got to mile eleven and there was the Pope giving mass at St. Peter's. It was around mile 16 that I hit the wall and I started to get really sick. I knew something was wrong, and uh my back was killing me. I knew I was gonna have to stop. But as a runner, you you often think of stopping and walking as giving up, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Well I had to. I just had to. I was about to pass out. It was so I sat down and I just I felt like such a loser. I thought, oh my goodness, I was so cocky, I was so arrogant that I thought I could do this without any training. And boy, was God teaching me a lesson. So I bowed my head and I prayed and I said, God, I am really scared. I'm far from my husband. I don't know where I am, and my battery on my phone is almost dead. And I don't think I can make it to that finish line. I am really scared and I need your help. Please help me. And then as soon as I said amen, I heard this man coming up to me saying, Allah, Allah, get up, get up, get up. And he had his hand out, and I looked at him, and he was a fellow marathoner, and he was speaking to me in Italian, so I grabbed his hand and he said, Walk, don't run, walk. And I got some water, and it was so nice to hear that somebody give me permission to walk.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

So I did, and he spoke wonderful English. He said his name was Sal, and he lived there all his life. He was born in Rome and he worked. I said, How'd you learn English? He said, I worked for the US Navy in Naples, and that's how I learned English. And so as we walked, he gave me a tour of the whole city. He said, Over here is where I grew up, and over there is where my father worked. And we walked through the old Olympic village, you know, the 1960s Olympic village, and he said, This is where the athletes slept, and da-da. And so I got like this little mini history lesson as we were walking, and I told him, Thank you for this. I really don't know how I could have made it. You are an answer to prayer.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

And he said, That was a God thing for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

So we we got to mile 25, and I said, Let's run, let's run to the finish line. He said, Okay, so we ran and we both crossed the finish line, and that's when I realized, okay, I've got a story. I definitely have a story. So when we got home, I started to flesh it out, and I said, It'll be about a woman who feels like her life is over, she yearns for adventure, but she has a very, you know, strict, kind of stodgy husband who keeps saying he wants to put it off. We'll put it off till retirement. When we retire, then we'll go. But she she enters a photography contest and she wins, and the prize is an all-expenses paid trip for two to Rome. But he says, No, I can't go, I have to work. So she takes her best friend instead. Her friend challenges her to run the Rome Marathon. She says, I'll go with you only if you run the Rome Marathon with me. And so Millie is her name, and she says, Okay, let's go. So when she gets there, she's still a little sad that her husband didn't come with her, but she's thrilled to meet all these other people. All there's five other winners of the contest, and they brought friends and they brought their spouses or their parents. And she gets to meet all of them, and they get to tour Italy together, Rome and Florence and Vatican, everything together. And so when she sees the statue of David for the first time, I knew exactly how she felt. So I described it as I saw it, and I just felt like, wow, thank you, God, for giving me this story. I knew exactly how to describe, like you said, the the people, the hotel, the lobby, the restaurants. Oh my goodness, all those restaurants. And then, of course, the marathon. I had Millie go through something similar. So yeah, I I only intended to write the one book, but so many people said, Okay, what happens next? What happens next? Yeah, yeah. So I thought, okay, I'll take the other friend Joy to Venice. And I told my husband, we need to go to Venice now. And he said, Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Absolutely. So, and and I would encourage you next, you need to do the Amalfi Coast. Absolutely. Then you need to do the Lake Region, Garda Majori, and Como, and then you need to do another book about that. So, yeah, that would be awesome.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

I am right there with you. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Sounds wonderful. Well, absolutely, I love it. And you know, I'm gonna give you an opportunity after we finish up to tell our listeners all about your titles and where they can get those books. And I know I'm gonna be looking for them as well so I can read them because now, of course, my curiosity is very piqued.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Great.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

I would like to kind of clear off just a little bit because you've you've mentioned that your characters have all experienced some kind of loss or grief, and I know that you have a background in helping people deal with loss, grief, and sadness. Tell me about your background as a grief counselor and your background in mental health. How has that played a role and impacted your writing?

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Sure, absolutely. Well, in 2015, my sister passed away from cancer, my older sister. Before she got sick, I thought I understood grief. You're your grandparents and you think, Oh, I understand grief. But I didn't until my sister died. That's when I started to realize how it affects us. Uh, and then five months later, my mom died. Our mom died of a heart as well.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Yeah, so it was 10 years ago. That's when I really started to go down that path of us. And that's when our pastor said, You need to go to Grief Share. And so I did. And as I was in Grief Share, that's when I learned that everything that was happening to me is totally normal. Mm-hmm. And that I wasn't alone. That the foggy brain and the feeling inadequate, unable to sleep, and having flashbacks, all that was normal. And that made me feel so much better because you start to feel like you're the only one in the world who's going through this. Right. And when you see that you're not alone, you you feel so much safer. So as I healed from grief, I I always ask God why? Why did this happen? Why did you take my mom and take my sister from me when I needed them? You know, I don't understand. Why is this happening? And I waited and I waited for the answer. And then around 2017, our the college that I work with started to put together a master's degree program with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And I started helping them develop those courses. And so as I worked with the subject matter experts, they were helping me with my grief. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is so amazing. And when the program was done, they said, Ruth, you really should enroll in this program. And so I did. Yeah. So I loved it. I learned about how grief affects the brain and the physical body and the emotional and the spiritual connection. I learned about how to cope in healthy ways. When I graduated, I got the answer to my question, why did this happen? It's like the Lord said, Ruth, I want you to help others with their grief. And so I just felt so thrilled that I got my answer. That's what I did. I started to uh facilitate grief share. I started to right now I'm taking courses to get certified as a grief coach so I can work one-on-one with folks. I really started to see how the fine arts can help us heal. So I use my art and my books, you know, and there's hope for them and there's hope for people in the world. That's how the writing started to come into play. Because I'm an artist first. I've always painted and I've always drawn. But with my writing, I needed to have a purpose for it. And after I I got my degree, that really transformed my writing. And I made sure the characters in there are relatable to people in the world as they're reading about that character, they're thinking, Oh, I went through something like that too.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Can you tell us about grief share? I know that it is typically offered through churches, and a lot of times we think about grief just being like the loss of a family member, a spouse, a parent, child. Tell us about Grief Share for those of our listeners who perhaps are struggling with grief and maybe need a program like that.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Sure. Well, Grief Share is a faith based program that helps people learn how to cope with grief in healthy ways. I mean, we all know how to cope in the unhealthy ways. We all do that, don't we? That's right, yeah. But Grief Share focuses on the five phases of grief that you may go through, and they they really focus on. Connecting spiritually. Although you mentioned all the different kinds of loss, GreeShare only focuses on the loss of a loved one. There are other, yeah, there are other programs like divorce care. It's like an offshoot of Greece Share. Divorce care also is dealing with that. But Greef Share has like 13 weeks of videos and then a workbook that we go through, 13 lessons that we go through together. We meet either in person or online. And uh they it's what we call a heterogeneous group where everybody there has different kinds of loss. Might have a loss of a parent or a grandparent, loss of a child, or loss of a spouse. We've even had some women there who had miscarriages. Some people think I want to meet with people who have the same kind of loss as me. I'll refer them to a group where it's more the same loss. Hospice has those kinds of groups where you can sit with people who lost a child or a parent.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

But grief share has all different kinds of love, you know, the loss of a loved one. I highly recommend it. It's for 13 weeks, and a lot of folks feel after they're done that they want to go through it a second time because they want to pick up more information. If your listeners are interested, you can go to griefshare.org and find a group by just typing in your zip code and all these groups near you will pop up.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Thank you. I appreciate you elucidating that for us because I know a lot of people struggle with grief. And especially I believe in faith-based groups, particularly, because they certainly are are looking to God and healthy ways for folks to cope. And I think that that's always a good answer. Thank you for doing that. Sure. I noticed from your bio that you also are really into running the half marathons, the marathons, and the ultras, and obviously running that race in Rome was how you got started in writing your books there. I wanted to ask you, because I know running can be a real outlet for grief or trauma. And did you use your running as an outlet for your emotions? Or did you do it for health purposes only, or just because you loved run? Tell me a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

It's kind of a mixture, but you're right. I mean, I never really thought of it, but I guess you're right because I I experienced some childhood trauma and I started running in high school and track and cross-country. Sure. That's really where I fell in love with it. I found that it was very empowering and uh it gave me confidence in myself. I ran all through college and I got away from it for a little while, and then in my 40s is when I started racing, like marathons and stuff. Yeah, it it became a way for me to, like you said, de stress and handle mental health things. It's so good for mental health. So therapeutic. Yeah, it is. I found that for my the trauma that I went through after I lost my mom, it was great. And I started to dive into those ultramarathons because when trauma happens, some people are what they call hyper arousal. They look for those high adrenaline rushes like skydiving or climbing kilomandero or something like that, or swimming with the sharks. Then there's people who are hypo arousal where they they retreat and they just become isolated and they they find more peace that way. So I was kind of like a mixture, and I wanted to do these ultramarathons to challenge myself. I wanted to see if I could do it, but I remember one where I was running and this the night set, I was all by myself. At first I had all these people running with me, and then all of a sudden I was all alone on the track and it was cold and it was around midnight, and I just felt like, Am I doing the right thing? I feel like giving up. But I I thought in Hebrews, this is what it talks about where the author of Hebrews said, run the race with endurance. You have a cloud of witnesses who have gone before you and they're cheering you on. So that verse and others really kept me going. So I often use that story when I talk with folks who are struggling with trauma and they're trying to recover that you start off with all these people around you, then all of a sudden you might feel like you're all alone. But keep going, you know, run the race the best that you can. And and like I mentioned, I always felt like a loser if I had a walk. Well, one time during an ultra marathon, I was so tired, but I didn't want to walk because that means you're a loser. And then this guy who ran by me, he has the world record, he holds the world record for running the most ultra marathons. And he walked by me and said, Keep going, and he walked by. And I thought, well, yeah, if the world record holder can walk, I can walk too. There's so many life lessons in running. I've got a dozen stories, and that I like to share with people because it helps them. Walking is wonderful. I have a partial tear in my hamstring right now, so I'm having to just walk. But I'm finding that that's therapeutic too. It just clears your mind, it refreshes you, you feel confident. So yeah, I think you're right. I think it did help me handle the childhood trauma that I went through, and I didn't even realize it until you said that. But then as I got older, I realized now, yeah, the running those ultra races and really pushing myself was kind of that sure hyper arousal type of coping.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Yeah. And I have a knee replacement and and I need another one, but I walk a lot and I travel a lot and constantly I'm walking for long distances and hiking and the I look at my walking as like you look at your running. It's an endurance thing for me. So I know that I live right on a beach, so when I'm walking on the beach, it's my time to be with God and to communicate with God, and that's a very important thing for me. So do you feel any activity can be a time that can be very healing and therapeutic for people who are suffering from trauma and grief? And pretty much any activity can be used as a time to build your confidence and think about what you can accomplish and that foundation of yes, I've had maybe bad things that have happened to me, or you maybe I have had some tough stuff in my life, but yes, look what I can do. Are those good things to think about for people who are suffering?

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Absolutely. Great question. You know, when I do coach those who are going through grief, I bring up the fine arts all the time because it's so important. I have them journal and they might say, Oh, but I don't write. And I say, It's not writing for other people to read, it's a conversation that you're having with or just write to God or write a letter to your loved one, or I have them paint or draw because that taps a part of the brain that we need to release, you know. And it just gives them a chance to not even think about anything but create something and express yourself. There's this wonderful grief share group, I'm sorry, grief support group out here in Arizona called Stepping Stones, Stones of Hope. They have weekend camps where they take whole families who have suffered tremendous loss, loss of a child or you know, from like a horrible accident or something. And the kids, they have them do art projects. The parents, they have them go for walks in the forest, and the teenagers, they have them do music or uh the theatric production, you know, theater production. They tap into all the fine arts during this weekend retreat because they understand that's what these people need. They need an outlet to express themselves. And a lot of the teens, you know, they they're kind of wrapped up in some anger issues or they don't express themselves. But when you have them listen to their favorite song or get up on a stage and recite something from Hamilton or you know, Titanic or something, it just brings out this emotion inside of them that they had all bot bottled up. So yeah, I'm often telling people, tap into the fine arts. If you haven't done music in a long time, give it a try. If you haven't done writing for a while, give it a try. Reflect back to the things that you loved to do before the loss and tap into that again. One lady said, Well, is knitting okay? I said, Yes, definitely. Do something that helps you heal. Not everybody can run and not everybody can get on a bike and ride for miles, but most of us can walk, and just going for a walk around the block, I find to be so therapeutic for me. After a hard day of work, I just take off and I don't listen to anything. You know, I don't unplug from my phone, I just listen to the birds or even the traffic, the hum, you know, of the traffic. And I just don't think about anything. And that usually by the end of that walk, I have an idea for another book, or I just feel so much better. So, yes, listeners, tap into that. Go back to those things that you were passionate about and try them again. You don't have to be perfect, you're not gonna hang the painting in a gallery, it's just you expressing yourself. So give it a try.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

I love that. So you and I have talked about using travel certainly as a catalyst for healing. And I know personally I have used travel for healing, and it's been some of the best therapy I've ever done. So whether it's crying my heart out to God in the Garden of Gethsemane in Israel, or you know, witnessing the beauty no matter where I am in the world, because you know, it seems to allow me to unlock my heart and my brain and let the trauma, the anger, the passion drain out and the joy and the sunlight come back in. As a mental health professional, why do you think that is? What does travel do to us that allows that to happen?

SPEAKER_01 32:14

Great question. Well, those of us who have experienced trauma, whether it was parents divorcing when you were young, you know, your father walks out, or uh abuse of any kind, any kind of trauma that you suffered involves a loss of control.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

Right.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

And we we grow up with that, or if you're an adult and you went through trauma, I know that's what I learned from experiencing various kinds of loss. Yeah, is I have no control and I hate that. And we hate that feeling. We have no control. Especially Americans, we're big on control. But trauma involves loss of control. So that explains why so many of us get involved in those high adrenaline things, you know, being out of airplanes stuff. But travel allows you the opportunity to have a little bit of control. You get to select the destination when you're gonna go and what you're gonna do when you get there. Whether it's not doing anything. I remember when we went to Hawaii, I told my husband, I don't want to do anything for two days, I just want to sit on the beach. So you have that control, and it's kind of exciting to pick the Airbnb or the hotel or the hostel that you're gonna stay at and the ex excursions that you're gonna do. You regain a little bit of that control, but then you also have to lower your expectations and realize when I get there, I may not be able to do everything that I'm gonna do that I planned, and that's okay. So you're kind of letting go too, and so there's a little bit of risk involved, but it teaches you risk management, it teaches you to prepare for those obstacles that might pop up. You know, when we went to Venice, we got stuck in LA airport for two days, our flights canceled three times, and that was that's awful, yeah, horrible, but it made getting to Venice that much more beautiful. Of course, when we saw the city appear on the horizon, we were like, oh my gosh. So it's things like that that help you emotionally. There's like this regulation that occurs, and that's why so many people heal from traveling. And I know listeners might be saying, Well, I can't afford to go to Italy, I can't afford to go to France, and that's okay. Travel your own state, absolutely nearby, see new things that you've never seen before in your own state, or travel the United States. Oh my goodness, hit all of the natural parks, the natural national parks are absolutely astounding.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

So we're so blessed in the United States to have basically 50 countries right here and just some of the most beautiful places on earth, really, in the United States. Oh my goodness, absolutely right.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

Yes, go to Yosemite, go to the Grand Canyon.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Oh my Niagara Falls. I mean, just oh goodness, what what an incredibly beautiful country we live in. Now, why do I feel, and maybe this is just me again, but somehow Jesus and God are more accessible to me when I'm traveling? Is it because I'm surrounded a lot of times by incredibly beautiful locales and scenery and sights, or if I'm on a plane, I'm up in the clouds and they're so beautiful? Or is it just because my heart and my soul feel more at peace again? Are we hearkening back to what we just talked about? Or what do you think the answer is?

SPEAKER_01 35:40

That's a great question. And a lot of it does deal with having that spiritual connection. I mean, Shannon, you're a person who's grateful. You've been through a lot in your life, but you wake up with gratitude. Yep. And that's where it starts. In my master's program, we had to do a lot of research, and I even found that secular research from the federal government says that people who have experienced loss and are grieving, people who have that spiritual connection, they recover in a healthier way than people who don't. So that's what survivors do. They have that awareness of what's around them. And they I often tell the people I support with grief, wake up feeling gratitude. Name four or five things that you're grateful for immediately before you even get out of bed. So I I sense that with you, and I often tell people, you're you're the ones who will get the most out of life, out of an experience. So yeah, I've been there too when I'm looking out the window of the airplane and you see the moon rise over the clouds. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

That's spectacular.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

And then when you go to the mountains and you just look out, I got to run the half marathon at Yosemite, and it's started at six in the morning. And we start way up at a 7,000 foot uh elevation and we run down the forest trails, and I got to see the forest wake up. We had no internet, so I couldn't listen to my music, so I just had the birds and the babbles and yeah and the watch. Wow. So that gives me chills. Yeah, it was church, it was a religious experience. Yes, it was so grateful for one of those races I will never forget because the Lord gave me this the beauty of Yosemite Park.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

On this on this half marathon run. So yeah, we have to wake up and we have to be grateful, and then like you said, we have to look for it and then cherish it because not everybody gets to experience that. So you have to be so grateful for it.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

Absolutely. And I know that one of your desires and your calling that God gave you is to inspire women to travel. Like you said, not everybody can travel around the world. We got that, but maybe it's just down the street, around the block, to the next county, to the next city, or maybe the next state, but to open our eyes and see the beauty. That's really what we need to do is just open our eyes and see what's around us. Tell us about that aspiration and why you feel like that's what you want to do now.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

I mean, we only have a few years left. At the fall of our lives, the fall season. We're starting to approach winter. And so we want to encourage others to do hard things. Sure. Those hard things are what change us. And when you lift more weights at the gym, you're gonna have that resistance, but your muscles might be sore, but you're gonna get stronger. So for me, that's why I wanted to start to do these vacation races and not just run the same marathon every year, but go places and see new cities. And at first, my husband was like, I don't think so. I said, Yes. So we did the San Diego half marathon, and he saw how beautiful it was. And then we did Yosemite, we've done Lake Powell. That's all in our neighborhood. Lake Powell is just four hours from where exactly. That was one of the most beautiful spiritual races. I did it right after my sister died, and I swear I felt her presence there. It was so beautiful to watch the sunrise over Lake Powell. So, yeah, I challenge women, find an activity or a travel destination that is restorative, that it will restore you and replenish you. If it's just going on a cruise, go on a cruise. Right. Just sit and take in the sights. If it's going to the beach, go to the beach and listen and feel, try to really tap into all the senses because doing those hard things are what make us grow. Doing the easy things, yeah. I mean, sitting on a raft is fun and it's nice, but getting up on a surfboard and trying to surf, yeah, it's gonna be scary and you might fall down, it's gonna hurt, but you will have a story when you are dead. You will have a story. So, yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

That's very, very important. Now, I want you to think back on your travels, and you've obviously been to a lot of wonderful places in the world. And I want you to tell our listeners about the most memorable woman that you've ever encountered on your travels and why. And she doesn't have to be famous, she can be, but she can be a grandmother or a movie star, a farmer, a teacher, a politician, or just you know, just somebody that you met along the way. And I'd love for you to tell us why she inspired you.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

Wonderful. Well, I was able to go to Slovakia on a mission trip to a little town called Luchenitz to teach.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Do you know that's where my family is from?

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Yes, that's wonderful. I noticed your last name. Yes, that's that is so cool. It's so beautiful there. Coming from the desert and then going to Slovakia was a dream come true.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

But uh I'm also a World War History, World War II history fan.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Me too. I love that. That's like my favorite period of history to study.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

We we had a little bit of a break between uh the English camps. It was a weekend, and we had like this gathering to have dinner with some of the locals. And this young woman was one of our interpreters, and she brought over this older woman to sit with us, and I got to ask her questions, and she and her husband had been in Luchenitz during World War II. And so I got to ask her some questions about that through the interpreter. And just looking at her face as she described how the Germans, the Nazis had come into the area and bought 30,000 Jews from the locals, rounded them up into the railroad cards and sent them to Auschwitz. And as she was telling me this, I had just walked across those railroad tracks on the way to this gathering. And I saw the synagogue that was in town. The the Ger the Nazis had not burned it to the ground, they had gutted it, but for some strange reason they let it stand, and it was a beautiful architecture, a very Middle Eastern architecture. And so she started telling me the story about that. She was about, I think, seventeen or sixteen when it happened. And so she was telling us how how horrible it was to see her friends who you know, she went to school with suddenly being rounded up and taken and put on these railroad cars out to Auschwitz and never to be seen again, and how it really shattered the whole city. This little town, beautiful town, was just shattered by it. So I never forgot that that woman's eyes as she told that story. You could see the regret and the pain in her eyes. Because she had survived, but she knew that so many of her friends had been killed.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

That is something. That is something.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

On my travels of all the places I've gone, that was the conversation that stayed with me the most.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

Wow. Yeah, I bet it's very haunting. It was just completely haunting. Wow. Well, what what role would you say that your faith plays in your everyday life and in your life as an author?

SPEAKER_01 43:04

My faith has got me through so many difficult times. Today's my dad's birthday, and I lost him three years ago to cancer. And so, yeah, when I look back and I think, wow, that was such a tumultuous year, 2023. But now I can look back and see how God's faithfulness was there. And I wish I could say that's the last grief journey I'll ever go through. But no, unfortunately, there are more to come. Now I know how to cope in a healthy way. Now I know that God is faithful, and so I can rely upon him. I know that statistically women outlive their husbands, so I probably will outlive mine. I have to remember that God will provide no matter what comes down the road.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 43:51

And I know that it will continue to get me through. Our son, he's not a believer in Jesus, and so we pray for him every single day. Being an atheist to now he fully believes Jesus walked the earth and probably he said, Yeah, he probably did resurrect from the dead. So he's getting closer to believing. So I have faith every day that one day I will see my son realize that Jesus that he needs Jesus. Yeah, I mean that's why I try and put stories of faith and hope and restoration in all my books.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

Even if a reader is not a Christian, they can still walk away from that story having some hope.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

I think that's a wonderful goal to have. And something that I tell a lot of people is, you know, you you may be the only Bible anyone ever reads.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

That's beautiful. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

And that's I hope, if nothing else, somebody can listen to me or look at me and go, Yeah, you know, you know, I can understand who she is because of her faith. So well, this has just been absolutely wonderful. I just so appreciate you joining us today, Ruth. It's just been a delight. And with all of the great information that you've shared with us, if you don't mind, share with our audience where they can get in contact with you, if you'll outline all of your social media, your website, and also go over the titles of your books again for us, if you would, and where you know those can be purchased if it's like Amazon or whatever, or if you prefer like off of your own website. But let everybody who's tuned in know how they can find out all things Ruth so that they can get access to everything that you do.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Sure. Yeah, the best place to go is my website, which is artbyruth.com.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 45:48

And there you'll learn more about me. You get to see all of my books, even my podcast episodes, and you can see some of my artwork there too. That's the best way. You can sign up for my newsletter there, and that way you'll be aware of upcoming projects if you do that. But to get my books, they're all on Amazon. Oh, I'm on Amazon. And the titles of my Love and Romance in Italy series are The Doors of Rome, The Windows of Venice, and the Streets of Florence. My series. I love that. I'm on Instagram the most. I'm at author R. A. Douthet there. And of course on Facebook, author Ruth Douthet there. Yeah, shoot me a line. I'd love to know what you think of this podcast. That would be amazing. Absolutely. Yeah, so follow me, sign up for my newsletter, and you'll get a free downloadable copy of my suspense novella, The Letter Opener. So head over to artbyruth.com.

SPEAKER_00 46:42

Thank you so much. Well, this has just been so much fun, and I hope you'll consider coming on again. And we can talk about some other fantastic topic. Like if you do another great marathon at another wonderful location, or you get to a different locale in Italy for another book, maybe we can talk about that as well. I'd love to have you back on.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

Yes, I'm hoping to go on a cruise and I'm gonna research for a book, a spooky suspense story set on a quick cruise, a murder cruise.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Wow, that's fun. Okay. Well, I would love to hear about that. Well, thank you so much, Ruth. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

Thank you. This has been a blessing.

SPEAKER_00 47:25

I really appreciate it. I'm gonna sign off now and thank you to our listeners for joining in. Uh, you know where you can reach me. That's uh Shannon at aladywelltravel.com. Shannon at aladywelltravel.com. That's traveled with two L's and please tell your friends and your family how they can listen on any of the streaming platforms. Let me know what you think of the show. And if you've got questions for Ruth, I'm sure she'd be happy to answer them if you want to reach out to her on her website as well. And remember that God created this beautiful, beautiful world just for you. All you need to do is get out there and see it. Until the next time we chat. Bye-bye.