The Lie That Almost Cost Me Everything

In this episode of the Unmother Me Podcast, I share my I am not enough story—a deeply personal journey through loss, over-functioning, and finally discovering the truth that set me free. This is a women empowerment podcast conversation about overcoming self doubt, healing from burnout, and learning to end self sacrifice in order to reclaim your life.

If you’ve ever felt like success was a mask, or that doing more and achieving more only left you feeling less, this episode is for you. Together we’ll explore female identity transformation, women reclaiming power, and the practices that supported my self discovery journey.

From journaling for healing and a return to innocence, to building resilience and courage and cultivating self care for women leaders, this is an authentic storytelling podcast that invites you to release perfectionism, let go of overachieving, and begin healing family patterns.

✨ It’s time to rewrite your story and remember: you are the source, not the sacrifice.

Ready for your next evolution?

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Connect with Ky Kingsley:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kykingsley1
 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ky.align/                                           website: www.kykingsley.com

You don't need to survive your success.

Transcript

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If you're holding your breath and everything looks beautiful on the outside, but is unraveling on the inside, you are not alone. This episode is really for every woman who's done everything right and still lost herself in the process. So, what happens when the life you built begins to cost you everything that you loved about yourself? When success has really become a mask, or uh, you know, honestly, it just feels like a prison, and your physical body is getting ill and it's starting to just scream for your attention. This is the experience that I had over the last five years. And the problem was really ultimately what I discovered was that the lie I didn't know I was even living was the problem with the life that I had created. So let me go back to 2020. In December of 2020, I lost my sister. And as a result of that, I made major shifts. My mom was now a 67-year-old uh mother of a teenager. We relocated everyone to be together to Austin, Texas. I stepped into a role that I thought would really support everything. But ultimately, what happened was I took a ride on overfunctioning on absolute steroids. And shortly after all of this happened, my daughter was having a wedding simultaneously. So we're grieving, we're planning a wedding. And then my other daughter ends up getting very, very ill and struggling literally to breathe undiagnosed for nine months and has multiple surgeries, and there's just a whole story there. But I maintained my job. I took on a new role. I had three changes in leadership in my first six months. And rather than take a leave of absence or time for myself, I went into hyperdrive. And we hit all-time highs. There was more demand than ever. And not only was it unfair to myself, but it was really unfair to the people that I led. And ultimately, I lost my uterus with all of this. It went on for, you know, well over two and a half years. And several days after I returned from surgery, I was told, we need you to relocate to the Austin market permanently, or you need to step down out of your role. I was like, what in the hell is going on here? And I will never, ever, ever forget the day I got the answer to that question. I was sitting in an Empowering Women's Live weekend retreat with Claire, Dr. Claire Zammet, and I was looking through her transformation matrix. And in there, I started to read every thought I'd had, every feeling that I had had, every role that I had played, um, every you can do it conversation I'd ever had. And I realized that there was one central theme here that was behind everything. And that was a very deep belief that I was not enough. That belief had silently authored eighty percent of my life choices, and it stole my ability to choose from my truth, and just from that moment, I made a vow that I would go back and rewrite my story, and I also became deeply aware of it, wasn't a job change, it wasn't a career change, um, it wasn't even starting my own business, it was really addressing this fundamental belief and starting to rewrite the story. I was not born to ruin my mother's life. I was not the rescuer of my father's life. I was just a baby who was eager to live. And I was born into a system at that time that just was undersupported and immature at very young parents. And there wasn't really room there, you know, space there for my thriving and to support it. And this isn't at all about going back and blaming because it's not what this unmother me is really about, it's really about a return to innocence, the ability to just create space to reclaim what was always mine and to finally make space for that unfolding and that opening. And I discovered I'm not broken, I am more than enough, and as a human being, we are all born with everything that we need in our DNA to expand and grow and become the people we were intended to be, to live the purpose and deserve the others that we are here to contribute to. And while all of that was working itself out in my psyche, and it took months, it looked like conversations like that's fine. Um, I'm actually gonna just step down from my role and step into a role where I only oversee one market instead of two markets, and that works better for me. Conversations about what I needed to feel supported in caretaking my daughter at the time, and conversations about what I needed, skill sets I needed to start developing, and things I needed to start investing in so that I could start to do the things I wanted to do next. And so, you know, you fast forward six months, I think, from that discovery of I am not enough. And my daughter's feeling better. I've resigned from this job. Uh, you know, it was a career I had for 17 years. I was no longer in this vice president national flying around the country road, and I was no longer overseeing a market role. I was simply now creating the life that I wanted to live, the businesses I wanted to own, the revenue I wanted to claim, the skill sets and the ways of being in the world that I wanted to have on my terms. And yes, it was courageous and yes, it was brave, but mostly it was just me now firmly planted in the truth of who I was and what I needed, and the frameworks I needed, and the support I needed, and the tools I needed to be able to become the woman I needed me to be instead of the woman everybody else needed me to be. And so I appreciate you joining me today for this second episode of Unmother Me. And I'm hoping you're starting to realize that it's in our own self-care. And this isn't a superficial self-love. I need an Epsom salt bath with lavender in it way of self-care. I'm talking about creating space inside of your own psyche, heart, and being to start exploring and connecting more deeply to yourself and to the lives we've built our identities on, to the roles we play, we don't want to be a part of, to the things we say yes and no to that we may or may not want to participate in. So if any of this is resonating with you, or you know someone, a woman or a man, even in your life, who needs this message today, please feel free to share the episode with them and to help grow the channel. And we will explore in next week's episode. Um how I failed as a wife, as a mother, and honestly, myself just as a human being. So until then, maybe do a journal prompt on an area of your life or a belief in your life where you feel you're not enough. And until next week, remember, you're not the sacrifice that's not required. You're the source. Today's episode is sponsored by Fat Wallet Tax. If you're a business owner or real estate investor and your tax or accounting firm isn't talking to you about your cash flow, at least monthly or quarterly, it is time to call FatWallet Tax. The heart of your business is your cash. It keeps everything alive and healthy. And if you're uncertain about when to grow or how to manage your cash flow so your business can truly thrive, their cash flow confidence system will take you from surviving to thriving. Visit fatwallettax.com to learn more and book your cash flow confidence call.