THIS IS SERIOUS!
Your Clean Comedy podcast (with a side of poop jokes) and where Christian Content Creatives are celebrated! Laugh along with creators of the YouTube sketch comedy YouTube channel Nashville Nonsense - Chad & Amber N. Davis and comedian/writer Jared Chambliss, as they, tackle news headlines, funny reels, interesting guests and more. New episodes every Tuesday! - watch full video episodes and more on YouTube @thisisserious_podcast and for behind the scenes jump over to our social pages.
THIS IS SERIOUS!
Ep #70 'Bison, Bikes, and Elderly'
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Comedy talk, Animals in the news - bison, Jimothy the Racoon, pythons for pizza, the largest shark ever recorded plus elderly men perform their own bike stunts and how they hurt Chad - because THIS IS SERIOUS!
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Anything with the hat or are we just okay just making I didn't I didn't know if you were gonna bring something up or if we're just like do I even acknowledge the first time you ever want to ignite hat looks really nice with a t-shirt too that's a class look okay for real yeah I mean that's a yeah class that's what how do I say it classless enough for your joking for real yeah yeah like without without class is what I was trying to school school on Sunday no school yeah no class I've never seen someone do like that kind of hat with a t-shirt right we're recording we are recording okay yeah so when I think of no class what's uh that comedian uh Rodney Dangerfield no I think it was like well yeah but also I think about fat Albert like well no the character's like oh I forgot oh mushmouth you were like school on Sundays no class yeah oh I forgot the mushmouth really talked funny he had the yeah that's right with the eyes yeah that was mushmouth that was such a great derby derby yeah he was like a he was like a like an old like you know Kenny from South Park you can never understand anything he says ever because he's got that hood tied so when he talks it just sounds like but they all understand him who the kids are but well it's like those minions uh huh like they have the I don't know I guess I I mean that's what classic comedy I guess like you just well you look at all the clowns like Rowan Atkins or you duck Sean uh Sean the Sheep or anything like in comedy like that you don't need lyrics or that's dollar I didn't think of that I don't know why but I always think that stuff's funny like Chewbacca any any situation where there's somebody saying something where nobody knows what he's saying but an individual that like does and he just like and he's just like conversing with him. He speaks regular talk to him but he always comes back with something yes that they you no one understands. Right.
SPEAKER_06And they're like arguing with each other. It's really funny.
SPEAKER_04I always think that's funny. I do too I think that's why that's why I like that character Chewbacca Kenny from South Park anybody that you can't understand. I even like uh what's his name Silent Bob oh yeah I always thought he was always Kevin Smith yeah in those shows in those movies he was like he doesn't say anything for an hour and a half and then at the end of the movie he has like one long line and it's oh that's true well like he had put out some uh cult classics of the 90s yeah yeah chase and Amy Maw rats clerks clerks yeah of course clerks um yeah but those are not super family friendly yeah yeah yeah Jay and Silent Bob Jay and Son Bob I think they had a cartoon or something didn't they I just remember some kind of cartoon and yeah we should write something where somebody is a an alien or some kind of where they where their speak is right but it's their best friend you like Rocket and Groot. Sure Yeah because all Groot says is uh I'm Groot and then he always and Rocket's always like what are you talking about? That's true yeah that's true I'm Groot he's like no we can't do that you know I was like what what did he say?
SPEAKER_06Do you like Mr. Bean? Are you Mr. Bean Rowan Atkins comedy?
SPEAKER_04You don't like Rowan Atkins? No I'm not saying I don't mind Rowan Atkins but the the movie Mr. Bean or no just the just the character the character Mr Bean really not really like even the one have you seen the one where he's in church and he's like I can't I saw the first movie. Do you like things that are funny? Yeah I like the movie Airplane raised in Arizona no it's a horrible movie. Um I like um planes trains and automobiles oh that's such a good movie I mean yeah any kind of comedy like that Exorcist one three amigos is one of my favorite First Blood you like three amigos that's one of my favorites yeah um my favorite I even like the the goofy like city slickers even silly stuff like that.
SPEAKER_06Oh right it was fun yeah yeah I thought it was funny yeah it was okay three amigos when he's um drink when he's the guys are so thirsty and he like they're like Martin Short pours out like sand from his canteen and then Chevy Chase is like washing his face like lipstick I mean not lipstick but chapstick like lipstick then he throws it out and it's like draining.
SPEAKER_04Yeah yeah it's like a dumb and dumber when he was when he was so cold when they're riding on that thing and he was like Harry my hands are so numb and he's like really mine are starting to get sweaty here take this extra pair of gloves I got he goes you've had this extra pair the whole time he's like we're in the Rockies his hands are like he's like mine are starting to get sweaty here.
SPEAKER_02That's funny yeah that's great that's good stuff good stuff all right let's do this let's do it no three no way two I'm rubbing my one you ready hey this is serious I'm Chad Davis and if you are in the mood for some clean comedy with a side of poop jokes you're in the right place my friends because this is a place where Christian creatives are celebrated and they don't we don't take ourselves seriously and uh we just have a good time we enjoy the journey we laugh a lot I am joined today by my best pal Jared Chambliss he is an actor writer comedian uh does a lot of cool stuff he's got a uh a lot of cool children he's a a great father uh what else thanks man welcome to the show yeah welcome and high energy we got this blonde hair blue eyed beauty over here oh delicacy could be describing me as well it's amber davis is my wife she's lovely she is a writer she's a comedian uh she is a producer she is uh she's directed she is uh a brand coach she speaks uh for a living and uh pops and locks during praise and worship what else do you do um see you're amazing eat chocolate eat chocolate yeah yeah amber's amazing hey we are the creators of natural nonsense uh it's uh your family friendly sketch comedy show that you know you never needed we have a lot of fun and we just got finished filming downtown with TT yeah yeah I don't know if that was allowed now I have met Tim and I'm not gonna call him TT man that's oh I thought you were cute I thought you were starting to see if he notices until he says I can't I guess we'll call him TT yeah yeah T T was handling the camera and uh I can't yeah he he was doing well too I mean he hung out with us we we shot a lot downtown yeah took us to a nice overview over there uh on the West End got to see uh the the Nashville skyline yeah we did and uh looks like we got to see a couple of um throwaway needles up there as well or people probably shooting up it didn't look like a very safe area but I'm not a safe area but it looked like where people go to uh unwind up but also we did see like there was a lady that got there like same time we did took her kids up there for maybe four minutes and she was like all right let's let's head out I mean but it wasn't there's not like a playground that I saw it was just like some uh maybe some fences around uh sounds like a good mom decision yeah well I don't know why she brought him up there other than for the view just be like look all right you see and then let's go. Yeah I think it's more of a place to get your picture taken or to go watch something whatever. So go to sleep. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Right get your picture taken but watch her back.
SPEAKER_04Oh for sure yeah because it was like we went up to it was like a mountain we had to go up.
SPEAKER_06Yeah I'm excited to see that footage so that'll be on National Nonsense. Me too yeah good stuff. So National Nonsense is um out here on the channel on YouTube and we would love for you to be able to uh like subscribe ring that notification bell it's not lost on us so that you cannot miss any of this is a serious podcast but also what we're doing over at National Nonsense. We've got a lot of fun footage coming out soon like it's coming out in the next few weeks it's dropping right now on the channel and it is yeah ready for you to like and subscribe if you're listening on Spotify you can text us from the show notes and let us know what you think of the sketch comedy this is serious or if you have a news like any kind of news clip or any kind of interesting news that you want to share with us so we can break it down here let us know you can also email us at this is serious at dadchavisproductions dot com. That's this is serious at dadchavisproductions dot com.
SPEAKER_04So before we get into the awesome news stuff um how you doing man I'm all right you yeah yeah it's been good I'm hot it's like yeah it's blazes outside rains every night yeah you can't mow the grass nope unless you're gonna do it with wet grass clean up the mower afterwards I'm kind of thankful for the rain because I'm not having to water as much probably thankful that Chad cuts the grass too I am thankful that he cuts very very grateful.
SPEAKER_02I'm grateful I have a rentatine you can cut that hill mow the hill in the ditch yeah save my back.
SPEAKER_04That's great yeah that's crazy I'm gonna start putting mine on it maybe yeah I still do I ride around that's all I do I I weed eat I do some stuff oh you do you do a lot but it is so hot I mean it's extreme heat this week my boys will have weed eat but I can't like they're not their legs aren't quite long enough to ride the ride mower yet oh really so I gotta scoot the seat way up you know and even then you know like I've got the kind that if you come off of the seat at all the mower will stop.
SPEAKER_06Oh Indiana Jones gets some blocks on his feet you know what I'm talking about yeah yeah the data uh what's the race or what's his name rice or something uh I call it his name was Data in the Data in the Goonies yeah yeah but he was in the in that movie he was uh what do you call him short round short round that's right short round I said rice because he was Asian no I don't think so yeah right yeah that's probably not right so before we get into news we want to give a shout out to Christian creatives yep so we have been um giving shout outs to uh creative Christians people that are Christian out there that maybe maybe they are a um a songwriter maybe they are a producer a videographer a painter an artist or a candlestick maker candlestick maker candlestick maker or maybe they're in ministry and that's who we're giving a shout out today yeah today we're giving a shout out to Tim Tebow Defenders specifically the defenders let's go so what are the defenders uh this is something that um is near and dear to Chad and I because uh we became a defender um about six months ago and have been partnering with Tim Tebow's foundation and they just recently sent us these cool little bracelets. He played football too didn't hear it yeah yeah he did but this is um these bracelets are actually from another ministry called In God We Must it come from the Defenders it it came f because we are a part of the Defenders but In God We Must is a apparel brand okay and you can buy all kinds of things from them play on the words in God We Trust which it isn't written on all of our money. There you go but the Defender program is really cool because you can partner with Tim Tebow and this specifically maybe you've seen like a lot of things that they've done with special needs kids and and all kinds of um uh different people like in min missions around the world but the Defender program is specifically to help uh squelch and get rid of and save the children that are in human trafficking.
SPEAKER_04So that's what it is Yeah we're definitely a hundred percent behind that.
SPEAKER_06Yeah so you join the fight as a defender and um the defender program and the members um they you know pray over the program and you can become a defender and even just for I think it's like $40 a month is the minimum and you can help with that.
SPEAKER_02I know he went he went on a circuit uh I it was probably about six months ago even talked to Congress and he went on a different podcast. I saw him on a podcast and he was giving his personal testimony and some um some data and stuff he was sharing there. Man it it brought me to tears and it it was like you know what are you gonna do with this information? And so I I feel like I had to do something and uh we have some I have an idea that um I've been footing around with the team. I haven't really acted on it yet um it's you know more of just I guess trying to get it done. But um you know just gotta if you you see something like that you feel you gotta do something. Yes right now because I I I personally can't go into those places and right and and and help physically but if I can help you know monetarily I will you know and we do like comedy with our sketch comedy and the po podcast is is funny at least we think it's it's funny.
SPEAKER_06No it's funny this is not a funny subject. I mean it is a very serious subject and all of three of us are really um just you know our heart is um to stop this like it's it's it's a horrible horrible thing we're all parents and it's just horrible and since they started this even like six months ago um six hundred plus children have been safeguarded through this program and so what they're doing as part of the Defender program is that the money specifically is going to help fund computer systems and uh processes and systems to help them find IP addresses where this horrific stuff is happening online. 100% so it's a great program.
SPEAKER_04So just a shout out to Tim Tebow and the Defender program specifically absolutely if I had to choose like if someone said would you rather end world hunger or stop children trafficking I would definitely say 100% let those people go hungry. I would say stop the child what that I'm saying a good thing.
SPEAKER_06I'm saying no you know the game where you can only pick one but I'm saying kids stop the kids trafficking to them and if you know of somebody or maybe you are a Christian creative maybe you don't have a ministry but you have a business and you are a Christian and you are doing things um within your business to be able to help the body of Christ um and we want to celebrate you or if you know somebody so um that does this. If you know anybody but uh send us a comment drop us a comment here on YouTube or again you can you can email us at this is serious at dadchavisproductions dot com and we will be able to shout you out here on the program.
SPEAKER_02So yeah there's been only been a few things in my life that I've like seen or heard about or things that spark interest and um and makes me you know keeps me up at night you know and because every battle I mean it's hard to fight every battle. Like you you know broad brought hunger or whatever that's a real thing that's it's terrible. Right um but like the innocence of a child being taken away and just like all the horrible things that that keeps me up at night. So yeah it's horrible. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah but God's bigger than all that that's right and he's going into dark places and with the help of this organization that's true.
SPEAKER_04Yeah so partner up people go check it out if nothing else. Yeah just go read the website at yeah the Defender what's the website again?
SPEAKER_06Defender. Defender.com it'll be up here it'll be up there find it yep so and if you have a news clip that you want to share with us send that as well because this is a time where we are going to break down some news thing that's going on in the news.
SPEAKER_04I love it.
SPEAKER_05Amber's so diligent with her news search so this week there is a lot of animals in the news good oh this like it's summertime yeah they start coming out hibernation and starting to fool it's animal time have y'all um heard about uh this man getting attacked by a buffalo you heard of this in Yellowstone Park yes I saw him get bounced around so this is grandpa this grandpa gets attacked yeah okay yeah this grandpa gets attacked is this this actually could go a two for four like um what's the punchline can we're like it could be good we didn't I didn't use it but all right he survives just so everybody know but why are you gonna ruin it for seeing him spoiler stories trending online these are the viral videos and there's a particularly one out of Yellowstone National Park we know you've seen it of a massive Jared has been chasing and attacking a Wyoming Camila Bernal tells us the details sharing you details about the lead up to this terror flight watch it is a big it didn't show up a year old man and his grandson flipping space man that is scared to be watching something like that happen firsthand.
SPEAKER_02Emmy Lou Abrahamson says moments before the agitated animal had settled onto the ground near their campsite well I'm gonna tell you something when I watch this thing before getting up as you see it this this this bison or uh whatever uh buffalo whatever is rolling around the dirt these jabronies are probably 30 40 yards from it taking pictures and looking at it and they had every opportunity to get out of there yeah I would think you see an animal doing something like that it's like hey guys let's pack it up yeah yeah we're in his we're in his area this is not like Watertown watching a squirrel drop climb a tree bro right this is how much you think that bison weigh oh two tons maybe you think it weighs that much by ton at least two tons I'm not maybe exactly one ton is two thousand pounds right I mean it's probably at least a ton I don't know but that's he's all muscle I mean it's amazing that that guy's still alive I might be looked at he treated him like a matador I think that thing weighs like ten tons you say weighs twenty thousand pounds I'm bad with numbers like when you see the jelly buttons 1,000 to 2000 pounds yeah so it does weigh that a full grown bison they go a ton you said two I'm backtracking a little bit a little bit yeah you're fine you were in the area okay I'll give it to you but you have a ton a ton of meat and flesh they taste running after you ever had a bison burger yeah buddy yeah yeah my third grade teacher raised bison in Kansas so wow yeah that's definitely but he flipped that grandpa I mean he flipped him and there's I didn't see him agitating him but no he is agitated that's before this is why I don't like want to go to Yellowstone. Is that the one with the tree you could drive through no that's Sequoia National Park that's the Redwood Forest I think just recently my uh cut my cousin works in North Carolina at Rumbling Bald golf course he's like a greenskeeper and stuff does an amazing job with all the professional lawn keeping stuff and the fairways and stuff which is a beautiful area shout out to Lake Lure North Carolina yeah um that's uh his name is Eddie is my cousin Eddie so cousin Eddie she shouted out yeah physical place you can't even hear Eddie I love you Ed Bird I love you um and so uh my buddy uh he he has this bear it guys cat shows up every once in a while they call him Barney the bear and this bear is out in the field just hanging out on the dumpster just kind of checking out things and it looks like Ed my cousin is maybe ten feet from this thing just filming it with his phone. Yeah it's bananas. That's a little too bear could probably move 10 feet pretty quick. Yeah but granted Ed's a lot faster than this old dude right here.
SPEAKER_06Well I don't know I mean the look how fast that bison moves about a bison's got four feet he's gonna move faster than a man with two feet.
SPEAKER_02Yeah but he's got to move two he's gonna move a ton yeah crazy yeah I saw that and I laughed and I laughed again just now because that's funny.
SPEAKER_06He's just like cartwheel in the air yeah I've seen like I've seen matid that happen to matators but I know it looked like he should have had like a a red case he didn't say O lay and that's why he did not say Olay. That's true. That's true. Well in Kentucky there is um a raccoon rescue a CPR this lady gave a raccoon CPR not mouth to mouth I found out just CPR chest compressions because she found this raccoon in a dumpster's a picture of it okay and the raccoon couldn't get out of the dumpster and then the raccoon went into like cardiac arrest or something so she's like using like I don't know if she used to shovel or something to like do chest compressions on this raccoon and she saved the raccoon's life and got it sent to like I had one in my yard the other day.
SPEAKER_04We did too trying to get in my garbage yeah it got in our garbage. Was he missing a left eye? Yeah because I shot my earring with a red rock tattoo said I love mom.
SPEAKER_02Mom was spelled wrong two O's it's tattoo because raccoons raccoon tattoo tattoo plates are whores you're known for not being able to no it was like uh maybe a couple months ago you saw uh that big fella like screw Scale the tree up first.
SPEAKER_06First of all, yeah. I'm like looking out my daughter's bedroom and I look out and like probably like 200 feet, tree going up. I see this raccoon like standing up by the tree and holding with his little paws, and then I look at him and then all of a sudden he just shimmied up the tree. And then what a week later, our trash gets knocked over and holding the trashed. Because they have little hands that they can lid it up. So yeah, kind of crazy. I got here's another raccoon news. This went viral. This is a viral. This is Jimothy. Have y'all seen Seattle's Jimothy?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_06Okay, this this raccoon went viral.
SPEAKER_02Already this raccoon. Think which name you want. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06This raccoon went viral because of his name? No, because he has a bent back. Like his back is humped. He's like a humpback raccoon. Look at him.
SPEAKER_02Oh. He's like a bowling ball with legs.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Yeah. Some people liked him.
SPEAKER_02Quasimodo of the raccoon. He's about to go ring the bell. Chupacabra. Look a little quasimoto getting around. It looks very odd.
SPEAKER_06He's just round and apparently he has like some congenital deformity of the spine.
SPEAKER_04That's the one that that lady she hit him with a shovel and his back swollen. He was like, I'm gonna go to houses. These dumpsters aren't working out.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so this little raccoon is like, look at him.
SPEAKER_03He's he does look like the chupacabra. I think that's funny. Whoever said that, good one. Good one on you. I saw the chupacabra.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so that went viral. That's all over the news. Apparently, this one lady just keeps filming him and posting stuff about him. Like it's all over the news.
SPEAKER_03About him. I like how you say it.
SPEAKER_06Like there's stuff to tell about it. Yeah. He can spell correctly.
SPEAKER_02Today he went through the trash.
SPEAKER_06His tattoos all like are good spelling.
SPEAKER_02He did somersaults down the hill.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then it's a roly-poly.
SPEAKER_06More news here in Florida that this guy, apparently, you know, you may have heard that the the Burmese python is like invasive. Oh yeah. People have been throwing them in like the Everglades. So they're just breeding like crazy, and there's tons of them. Yeah. And they have like open season for them. And this guy says, Hey, a dead python will get you a free pizza at my restaurant. So if you kill a python and you bring it in, you'll get a free pizza.
SPEAKER_04When he's got a button on his face?
SPEAKER_06I don't know what he's doing.
SPEAKER_04That's why he's trying to get people to kill him. He's like, oh, he's overwhelmed with them.
SPEAKER_06But yeah, so he's saying, look at these pythons.
SPEAKER_02That's a big snake.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but now the thing is, participants are, you know, they're signing up and taking an online course on how to find these pythons and kill them.
SPEAKER_02You see that? The person who brings in the most python carcasses wins 10,000.
SPEAKER_04That's why that pizza having you want you to bring them. He's gonna hold them all and then take them all in. Yep. Right.
SPEAKER_06He's like, here's some pizza, but I'm getting 10k. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He gives them like puts a little bit of a red baron in there. It's not even his pizza story. He's like red barriers, 99 cents. Red barons.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_02He's passing out Dajornos. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06But yeah, so it's a thing where they're, you know, they're open season on these pythons.
SPEAKER_02I can't even that's a big one.
SPEAKER_06That's just it's horrible. Like it's it's a horrible thing. And then I thought about you, Chad, because the largest shark has now been found in North Carolina.
SPEAKER_04Were they looking for it?
SPEAKER_06The yeah, the largest shark. So watch this one.
SPEAKER_00The largest male great weight shark ever recorded in the Atlantic was just seen off the coast of North Carolina. See, this massive shark right here is named Contender. And back in January, he was discovered and tagged by the research group OSEarch. Contender is almost 14 feet long, over 1600 pounds. And it's estimated that he's in his early 30s. Now, when he was found earlier this year, he was about 40 miles off of the Florida, Georgia coast. He then spent the next couple of months getting closer to the beach in Florida. He was being tracked from around Daytona Beach all the way down to Vero Beach. However, then for almost a month from March 12th to April 8th, he disappeared. See, the location of a shark can only be known when their dorsal fin goes above the surface. And when researchers finally got an update on his location recently, he was off the coast of North Carolina, 1400 miles away. Contender has now been bouncing around here for about a month. And luckily, he's not too close to the shoreline. But the question is, where will he go this summer? As the water option that's the question.
SPEAKER_06Where will he go? Apparently, the image. Yeah, maybe.
SPEAKER_04They found out he was 30 years old. I just asked him, where are you headed, big guy? Yeah. What's your intentions? Yeah, he's gonna maybe he's got family up in New York.
SPEAKER_06But 1600 pounds?
SPEAKER_02That's a lot of fish. Man. That's aggressive fish.
SPEAKER_06Very scary. Yeah. Very scary.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah. How did it say 16 feet?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, something like that.
SPEAKER_0214. Oh, for is it 14? Either way. That's as long as you know a little bit shorter than this room, but that's a big fish.
SPEAKER_06Bananas. Like, yeah. It's like a real Jaws. Oh, yeah. Swimming around and going from Lake Florida. It is like Jaws because it's like the lady moved from like Nantucket or wherever she was in Amity Island, and they moved to Florida and the shark followed them.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. The shark's committing crimes in Florida, and then when they're looking for him, he takes off to the coast and goes to North Carolina for a while.
SPEAKER_06He went missing for like three months or whatever.
SPEAKER_02Well, smart shark.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. So crazy animal news going on in the news. So there's takes on animal news going on. Oh, yeah. Interesting stuff happening.
SPEAKER_02I appreciate you bringing that um to our attention. That is a big shark. Now we want to get started with some funny stuff. Jared.
SPEAKER_03Why do you do that? I love it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun. Animal news.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I didn't know a lot of that. I knew the bison thing, but I didn't know the other stuff, so that's cool. So now it's time for what's the punchline? That's right. This is where I'm going to dig into my algorithm and reels and share some uh videos with you all. Uh I'm going to share just a tidbit, uh little dabble do you little short video to give you a taste, and then you got to guess what's going to be funny with the video. I can do that. Uh so our first one here, uh, I think the it's called Age Is Just a Number. Aaliyah.
SPEAKER_01Interesting.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so let's check it out. Age is just a number. Depends on what maybe that old guy with the bison.
SPEAKER_06Man. That bison had his number.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. 89 years old. Of age.
SPEAKER_0489 years young, rather. Wow, the way it started off, I thought it was that Mr. Frieza or whatever from The Incredibles.
SPEAKER_06I thought it was like, what's that guy that jumps over stuff?
SPEAKER_04Age is just a number. All right, so how far is he gonna is the race that's like 30 feet?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I just ran out. Um yeah, age is just a number, 89 years old, starting out with a cyclist. You know how they do the uh I don't know if it's Torred Advanced or something like that, but he's got his own heat that he's doing. He's gonna he's ready to take off the ball. Is he the only one in that? No, no, they they they they release him.
SPEAKER_06Oh, got it. And then they tag.
SPEAKER_04Maybe like a Joe Biden kind of a thing?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, what?
SPEAKER_04Well, you remember when he rode that bike?
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04I say rode that bike. That's that's me being polite.
SPEAKER_06That's right. Yeah, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_04Remember when he got on a bike and fell off? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. That'd be pretty crazy. And he was eating ice cream at the same time? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I don't think he wasn't doing two at the same time. I think ice cream later to make it.
SPEAKER_06Okay, what happened? Okay, here we go.
SPEAKER_01Two, one, zero! All right, let's go, guy.
SPEAKER_06Oh no, it's jump on it.
SPEAKER_03He didn't get very at least like a cycle of peddling.
SPEAKER_02He just went. Now, granted, uh, the thing is, I don't feel bad for this guy because I think he was trying to cheat. He was trying to find a shortcut.
SPEAKER_06I think that's what he was doing.
SPEAKER_02I think he was trying to end the race as quick as he could.
SPEAKER_06You think that's what he was doing? Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I think maybe just maybe the older you are that you don't have to go as far. Yeah. That was his race. Yeah, he was like, I completed, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I think his race is done. He's probably with Jesus.
SPEAKER_06He's got a he's got a pit crew the problem, too.
SPEAKER_02Pit crew, yeah. Can you imagine? Man, why are they having rails up there on that thing?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Golly.
SPEAKER_04Like bumpers at the bowling alley, something.
SPEAKER_06Yes, that's what they needed about.
SPEAKER_04He's 89. He doesn't need bumpers.
SPEAKER_06Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_04There you go. Hey, good for him for trying that.
SPEAKER_02Well, I got a story about an old guy on a bike. Good for him on trying.
SPEAKER_06Oh, you do have a story about that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so uh this is uh at Hilton Head in South Carolina, and we have been going down there for years and years and years, and the best thing uh our family love doing down there, besides going to the beach and enjoying company and everything, but we would love to rent bikes and go cruising around the island. That's the best. Have these little greenways, and it's awesome. Even if it's super hot outside, it's shaded with trees and you got the the coastal wind. The Spanish moss. Spanish moss, yeah. So yeah. So we would go, I'd pick off the moss, give to the kids, and then gracias, gracias, something like that. No moss? No, but they didn't, I didn't know what it meant. Um, but uh anywho's um so I'm very familiar with the island, very familiar with the bike pass and the bikes and stuff like that. And so it got to a point where we're going to the beach, I would carry things on my bike, and I would go to the beach, go shark fishing, come back, whatever. So I'm going uh to the beach, heading that way, and it's only like a I don't know, two-minute ride, three-minute ride to the beach, the way we're gonna go. And I'm by myself, I have my cooler and my fishing pole, and I'm just trucking along. I've done this track a lot, you know, even at night, during the day, whatever, whatever. So I'm going on this path, and in front of me in this path, there's this old guy. He's coming right at me, and he's got sunglasses on, like these big blockers, like if the sun was to explode. You're playing right field. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And he is in the middle of the path. And I'm like, okay, so just logic. I mean, if you're riding the path, if you're walking anywhere in America, you walk on the right, and they walk on the left, and then you just kind of pass each other. Well, that's what I'm guessing is gonna happen. So I veer off onto the right, he's still in the middle. I'm like, what's this dude doing? And we start getting closer and about to meet. So I don't want to kill this guy. So I and I don't want to ram a bike, whatever. So I'd pull off a little bit off the path, and my front tire hits some of that soft sand, and I go flying over the handlebars and cooler, my fishing pole. So I stuck a stick in your spot. Yeah, and I was like, raindrop. I hit the asphalt, and it's like boop boop boop, and I just skidded a little bit. And as soon as I popped up, I was like, what just happened? And I look back, and this guy, I all see is his backside just pedaling away.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm like, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then I noticed, I was like, that feels funny. And I look at my pinky, right? And I'm like, that feels funny. What what what's going on? And this pinky right here, I can't. This is straight. This I'm trying to make straight. Well, it's crooked. Yeah, this pinky was pointed just like this. I was like, ah, and I popped it back in place. It was dislocated. Yeah. And then so I got all my stuff. I've done that many a time. And went back to our beach house that we're sharing with multiple families. And I just walk in and I'm bleeding road rash and I'm carrying my stuff. I'm like, Amber, Amber, come to the bathroom. Amber.
SPEAKER_06There's like three families like all hanging out, you know. And I'm sitting there in the middle of a story talking to somebody, and all I see is Chad just walk and he's quiet, and he just walks through and says, Amber, I need your help. Amber, I need your help.
SPEAKER_02I said like 10 times a little bit, Amber, need your help. Just a minute.
SPEAKER_06Amber, I'm trying to finish my story.
SPEAKER_02Amber bleaming Amber now.
SPEAKER_06And then I look over and he's like uh road rash and he's almost like a big thing.
SPEAKER_02I'm almost done.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And then yeah, put your hand on the the cable. I don't know if you can see it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's just like, yeah.
SPEAKER_06You can't straighten that pinky.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's a shame.
SPEAKER_06It's permanently interesting.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Hey, I tell you what, I can pick guitar better now. What was that sound? Okay. You gotta make that twice. But whatever that sound was, you gotta hurt him do that sound quick and re-repeat it. Repeat it. Replicate it. Um, but uh, anyways, that that's why I have no sympathy for the dude fall. I could have been the same guy.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that probably was the guy. Yeah, it's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Anyways, that's crazy. Um, moving on. Uh, do you have any bike stories? No.
SPEAKER_04I I used to ride it back when I was a kid. Do you jump, doing some cool jumps? Yeah, I would jump off the curb, right where the uh where the sewer would meet come up to, you know. Oh, yeah. I had a huffy, something called a white heat. It was awesome.
SPEAKER_06A huffy, like a bike. That was a bike.
SPEAKER_02That was my nickname in high school.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02Huffy? White heat. White heat?
SPEAKER_06That's your nickname now.
SPEAKER_02It's move it's uh it's got more to it. It's it's more translucent heat now.
SPEAKER_06Translucent.
SPEAKER_02Who calls you that?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, I do. I'm trying to get it started.
SPEAKER_04Oh, no, like when you fill out applications, it's preferred to be called by you put white heat down. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Um you know what's funny is that in my um this is uh a real real story, okay? So in my junior year in high school.
SPEAKER_06Was the other one not a real real story?
SPEAKER_02No, no, it was a real story. I'm just saying this because this is this is gonna seem like no, this didn't happen. No, no, this is gonna say like no, this didn't happen, but I'm telling you, this did happen. Okay. And you know when you go for your yearbook photo, right? My junior year in high school, me and a couple of buddies, we thought it would be funny to write in a different name and for the um yearbook, whatever. And everybody had picked out a name, whatever, and I wrote mine down and I was the only one to do it. Oh, and so now in my junior year high Athens Drive, the 90, what is it, 92 yearbook, whatever? Okay, it says Taco Davis.
SPEAKER_06It does not 100%.
SPEAKER_02I'm sitting there like this, Taco Davis. Because I love tacos, and I was like, so okay.
SPEAKER_06That's that's really well.
SPEAKER_02You're talking about how you change your name, but prefer name. I'll get that started. You want to get that started? Or white heat. Either one.
SPEAKER_06They didn't ask, like I went to such a small high school, like they don't ask what's your name.
SPEAKER_02Well, no, because you get the form, you fill out the form, and then they they later just match it up.
SPEAKER_06Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02So they don't like this guy's name's Taco for real? Yes. Yeah, Taco Davis. There you go.
SPEAKER_06It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_02I have to find a picture. Uh uh if I find a your book's at my dad's house, I'll have to do it. That's fine. Digging. Post it. All right. Anyway, yeah, I digress. Number two, water skiing. Water skiing.
SPEAKER_06Water skiing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, summer, summer sport. Okay.
SPEAKER_06Now you don't water ski because you don't get in the water.
SPEAKER_02You can't swim. But you can have a life preserver. Those are both accurate.
SPEAKER_06Well, my dad, my dad doesn't get in the water either, but he's like a matt, well, he used to be a master skier. But he would start like on the shore, like ski, ski and ski around the lake, and then let go, and then he would go back on the shore and he would take off his skin.
SPEAKER_04He'd probably never just start walking. Then, like when he would just step up, one of the skis would stay and the other one would stay, and then he was just in his sandals.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I mean, I saw it like when I was the first time I went water skiing when I was like in sixth grade, and I I was learning, and it was a horrible experience, and I torpedoed and it was so bad.
SPEAKER_02And then he let go of the launch.
SPEAKER_06I'm like, Well, Dad, what you do it? And he was just like, Oh, I don't start on the water, like in out in the water. And I was like, What are you talking about? And he was like, pull up again, drop me off and throw me the rope. And then he put his skis on and had the thing, and he just took off from the shore and then landed on the shore. Yeah, he's a superhero.
SPEAKER_02He's a G.
SPEAKER_06It's crazy.
SPEAKER_02He really is.
SPEAKER_06All right, so water skiing.
SPEAKER_02Water skiing. Might be uh a video of Larry.
SPEAKER_06Could be. The G.
SPEAKER_02Uh oh. That's how he started. Definitely. There you go.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, she looks like she's starting on like some kind of uh like a dock.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Okay. So he's gonna end very badly.
SPEAKER_02No, this is this is how your dad starts. That's why I was started by this.
SPEAKER_06He started on the sand.
SPEAKER_02Well, she's dry, he's dry. Okay.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but that's for now. Yeah. I think it's more nerve-wracking to start on a dock because you're gonna have to like hop into the water.
SPEAKER_02I got it.
SPEAKER_06Something bad's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_02I mean, it always it always does. Yeah. Something always bad.
SPEAKER_04They're gonna pull her like cans on the back of a just married truck.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's gonna get worse for it gets better.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, let's see that.
SPEAKER_06Here we go.
SPEAKER_02Here we go.
SPEAKER_06All right.
SPEAKER_04Maybe. There we go. As soon as that light.
SPEAKER_06Oh no.
SPEAKER_04That's not what I expected to happen.
SPEAKER_06I not me either. And who's who's playing the kazoo?
SPEAKER_04The implications that lady is so so big that it stopped the boat.
SPEAKER_06That's not nice. That is not nice.
SPEAKER_02It's actually pretty funny. I don't think that's AI either.
SPEAKER_06It makes you wonder like who's she weighs?
SPEAKER_02Oh no, the kazoo, yeah. That's what you're thinking about? I'm thinking how much does she weigh? How is she standing on the boat?
SPEAKER_06That's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_02I bet that boat can pull that bison.
SPEAKER_06Oh my goodness. That is not nice. Drag that bison all over the lake.
SPEAKER_04And then brought him back dry.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04That lady right there sunk that boat.
SPEAKER_06Oh man.
SPEAKER_04She was like an iceberg. I did like that.
SPEAKER_06That is not nice.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Yeah, yeah. All right. So water skis.
SPEAKER_06I'm ready for the next one. Okay.
SPEAKER_02This one. No, I don't know. This was called What Could Go Wrong. Oh, wow. All right. Oh no. He's got a firecracker and a lighter. What could go wrong?
SPEAKER_06There's hundreds of options that can go wrong.
SPEAKER_02What would you do with a firecracker and a lighter?
SPEAKER_06What would I do with a firecracker and a lighter? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You light it and throw it under the door of somebody in the bathroom.
SPEAKER_06We used to, in Kansas, we used to keep um fire like fireworks and like uh like matches or whatever on our mud porch, which is like it's a porch made of mud. Yeah, it's the porch when you would like the only kind they have in Kansas, yeah.
SPEAKER_04So that's where you throw your firecrackers on the porch.
SPEAKER_06And if you heard coyotes, because in Kansas they call them coyotes. Yeah. If you heard them, then you would take them and it wouldn't it wouldn't be one firecracker, it'd be like the string. Yeah, and you light one and you throw it out the window and it's like do that again.
SPEAKER_04They went like that because it's not like you were whispering. And that little whisper, then all the coyotes are like, oh, we better not go over there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's menacing. It's like a water sprinkler. Better not go over there, we'll get wet. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Those are the whisper crackers. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The whisper crackers. There's no fire crackers. I think that's what you were doing. You were a cracker and you were whispering. Let's go to butt.
SPEAKER_06All right.
SPEAKER_02All right, so what could go wrong here?
SPEAKER_06Well, hundreds of options, but let's see.
SPEAKER_02He's got sticky fingers.
SPEAKER_06Oh no.
SPEAKER_02I think he put it in the mud porch.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_02Wow. Side of poop joke.
SPEAKER_06Oh no.
SPEAKER_03I don't see how this can go bad.
SPEAKER_04Uh-uh. Uh uh-uh-uh. We're immediately not friends.
SPEAKER_06Wake you up.
SPEAKER_04Wake you up?
SPEAKER_02Man. Yeah, Lee.
SPEAKER_06It makes me think, have you ever done that? Because that seems like something that one of y'all would do.
SPEAKER_04No, I've never done that. No. I just think about that guy later, too. Like, you know, like, let's say two days from now, and he's walking and somebody's like, what happened? And you're like, Yeah. I had a firework go off in my butt. Beg your pardon.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_04Heard what I said. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't chew my cabbage twice. Put a firework in my butt crack and set it off. I have seen somebody try to light their flatulence on fire and then instead light their bunghole on fire and scream.
SPEAKER_06Well, I'd imagine screaming would come after that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, when Johnny Cash comes on. Yeah. Ring of fire. Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that's nuts.
SPEAKER_04No, I've never seen that. Nor if uh if I ever did, I wouldn't say that me and that person would be in any kind of situation, we'd be hanging out again either. But the light and the flashlights?
SPEAKER_06But I'm wondering too, why who sleeps on their stomach on a couch?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that was where that went wrong.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, well, that's odd too.
SPEAKER_04Or just keeping company that will put firecrackers in your butt.
SPEAKER_06Right? Right.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I'm gonna tell you this if I want to lay on my stomach, I'm gonna be able to lay on my stomach without worrying is somebody gonna put a firecracker in my bottom. Golly. That's just the kind of company I would. It was just a black cat. It wasn't like an M80 or anything. No, you're defending it. You're the guy that is no longer allowed to be.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, an M80. It's just a black cat. What about what about a bottle rocket? It didn't stay there. No, because that'll sit there and get it.
SPEAKER_06Oh man, no way.
SPEAKER_02Well, you can't get in your tight. You gotta get it.
SPEAKER_06What about one of those, like?
SPEAKER_04No, no, no. Never mind, never mind.
SPEAKER_06What about one of those on the pit spine? The snakes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, where it looks like it's coming out of his butt. Yeah, that wouldn't that wouldn't be gross at all. Geez, Ray Amber, you're so sick. Wow, Amber, that's gross. She's like, what if we lit a snake in his butt? Yeah. And watched it come out. That would be cool, right? Yeah. Oh, you made it weird.
SPEAKER_02Jim Carrey came out of that.
SPEAKER_06Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's kind of warm in these rhinos.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that's that's wild. That's wild stuff. No.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_02You got it, man. Yeah, a lot can go wrong there with fireworks.
SPEAKER_06A lot went wrong. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Make good decisions, people. Sure. Pick your friends better. Yeah. So there you go. Um so what now?
SPEAKER_06That's it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Is that what you got? I had a good time.
SPEAKER_06I had a good time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Are you the kind of friend? Would you put a bottle rocket in my butt if somebody told you to?
SPEAKER_02No. All right.
SPEAKER_06Do you believe him?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I'm not going to go, I'm not going to randomly go put firecrackers in people's butt when they're asleep.
SPEAKER_04I think Chad would be down for harmless fun, but I think he would. That may that may actually hurt him.
SPEAKER_02No, no, that's not harmless fun. That's gonna hurt somebody.
SPEAKER_04You're saying you would probably not put a firework, but maybe something. Nah, I don't put anything in anybody's butt. Good, good. Yeah, that's weird. Stay friends.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it is weird. I'm glad that you can't. We're putting snake snake things.
SPEAKER_04No, I'm just sick. Or you know, if you're really cheap, you can just take a straw, you know, you take the wrapper and you smush it down, then you just put a drop of water on it and watch it. Oh, yeah. I thought you already kind of similar to the same thing. Yeah, you make it like a crinkle thing.
SPEAKER_02What?
SPEAKER_04You take a straw and you have a little wrapper and then you push it all the way down to the straw. So then it's like a real it's a real crunched up piece of paper. Yeah. Then you set that paper down and get just one drop of water and put it on it, and then it'll open back up.
SPEAKER_06Oh, so you don't need a firecracker.
SPEAKER_04I'm surprised you haven't done that.
SPEAKER_06I haven't done that. I don't remember doing that ever.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_04We don't use clean straws.
SPEAKER_06We don't remember doing that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I always try to carry out straws and shoot them. Shoot them out of people. That's a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's harmless fun.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But like firecrackers in people's uh you know, bourgeois.
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_02Bourgeois. No, when you think okay, let me ask you something. We were talking about this the other day. Bourgeois. When you hear the word bourgeois, what do you think of?
SPEAKER_04Bourgeois. I think of somebody like really bougie using a word that they probably don't know what it means. I don't know what it means either.
SPEAKER_02I thought I thought it was like I thought it meant like butt or bottom. Bourgeois?
SPEAKER_06No, it's a bedroom. It's like somebody's bedroom.
SPEAKER_02That's what she told me. And I and I believe you. I'm just saying I always thought of it.
SPEAKER_06At least that's what I've always heard. Like being from like New Orleans and like like Lower Louisiana people would say that.
SPEAKER_02That sounds right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Well bourgeois. Yeah. Interesting.
SPEAKER_02Anyways.
SPEAKER_06Good times.
SPEAKER_02Good times. I had fun. Hope you have fun. Yep. All right. This is serious.