24 You Got CUT: How to Turn Disappointment into Your Secret Weapon

High school tryouts are over, and in this episode, Coach Rodo talks straight to the athletes who got cut. He unpacks the difference between disappointing your parents and disappointing yourself, arguing that the only real disappointment comes from a lack of effort.

Rodo challenges the common parent response of comforting the child, insisting that the best response is to ask, "What are you going to do with that disappointment?"

This is a must-listen for coaches, parents, and young athletes. Rodo emphasizes that being cut hurts, but it's a powerful lesson in problem-solving and self-accountability that translates directly into life. Learn how to transform that feeling of failure into a relentless pursuit of improvement for next year.

#GettingCut #AthleteDisappointment #CoachingAdvice #YouthSports #WinningRegardless #EffortOverTalent #Accountability #Tryouts

01:10) - Disappointing Your Parents: Why kids try out for the wrong reason.
(02:30) - The Only Disappointment: Why your lack of effort is the only thing that should disappoint you.
(04:45) - The Next Step: What do you do with that disappointment? (The "Go to the Y" response).
(06:05) - Quitting Isn't Allowed: The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
(08:30) - Old School Work Ethic: Why kids don't play 21 and pick-up games anymore.
(10:40) - The Senior Cut: Why a coach cuts a senior who hasn't gotten better.
(13:20) - Parent Mistake: Why making your child feel better doesn't help them grow.
(15:30) - The Coach’s Joy: Watching a cut kid use problem-solving skills to make the team next year.

Transcript

0:00

Why would I waste a jersey on you who's not gonna play when this sophomore might give me some meaningful minutes? When you are disappointed, what are you going to do? I come from a high school where coach would tell you if you were a senior, you didn't make the squad. I see you at graduation. we have to teach them what to do with disappointment. What you do with disappointment is you get better. Because disappointment hurts, especially at a young age. And the thing about it is getting cut sucks. welcome to another episode of Coach Rodo's Winning Regardless podcast. This is one of my favorite times of the year because this is when, you know, us as coaches, we get to really, you know, pour into the youth, you know, pour into the kids' knowledge and, and, you know, advice. Today I want to talk about in lieu of high school and middle school basketball tryouts being over with. I want to talk about disappointment of getting cut. I ran into quite a few kids who were cut off of the teams that they had tried out for. you know, um the thing about it is, Some were disappointed and some weren't disappointed. And you know, the funny part about is when you talk to them and you ask them, what is it that you were disappointed about? I had a few of them even say to me that I was disappointed. I disappointed my parents. And you know, I even said to him, I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. I said, first of all, you, you, you, you, you're trying out for the wrong reason. If. you got cut and you felt like you disappointed your parents more than you feel like you disappointed yourself, you weren't playing the sport for yourself. Because I know me as a parent, and I've never experienced being cut, nor have I experienced having a child that's been cut. But one thing that I know as a parent of a child that if he was ever cut, it would never be to my disappointment. I would expect him to be disappointed in himself because as a parent, the first thing I would say would be like, you know, a son or daughter, you know, I'm going speak for my son. um You know what? What? What? do you think that you didn't make the team? You know, did you come in first or second or or or were you just just in the middle of the pack in in in suicides? When we did when you you did the rebound and drill, You know, where you, you know, one of the last four or five left, even if you want to last four or five left out of 50 kids, you know, or we just in the middle of the pack, you know, where you were when you were doing your dribbling drills, where you you working hard or where you just going through the motions, you know, in layups where you were you goofing around. What is it that you? feel that you did not do that you could have done better. Therefore, look into yourself and be disappointed by your actions. Me as a parent, only thing I'm disappointed in if you get cut and we have those conversations is your effort. Because if you didn't come in fifth place or above in a 50 man rebounding drill, if you didn't you know, first, second or third in suicides because, you know, the good thing about a suicide is it's not always the fastest. It's the more who has the most stamina and who can stay at that steady pace. just like running a mile. Can you stay at one pace running a mile? It's always the ones that start out fast in the suicide that you see towards the end of it lagging. So I always look, you know, I would always tell my child that, you know, the only thing that could disappoint me by you not making the team is if you did it with a lack of effort. And so when I was talking to these kids, you know, I asked them that I said, you know, what was your effort like? You know, where are going through the motions? You know, and the funny thing about younger kids is they won't lie to you really, you know, and you can see it in their eyes and you can see it in their face, you know, it's like because what I mean people to understand is you're important as a coach and if they see you as a coach, man, you are a very important part of their life. So for them to lie to you, they know that is how you disappoint. Us as their coaches is to lie. So it's a lie to me when I ask you about your effort or anything like that so it's always funny because you know I always pour into kids out of every school around here in my area I don't I don't because i'm not loyal to any schools here because i'm not from here But I know kids in all of the schools and and I treat them all the same and I try to pour into them all the same and you know when the few of them that I talked to from the middle school that were disappointed by not making a team, you know, my first question was, well, okay, well, what are we going to do with that disappointment? You know, I mean, a few of them are just going to go home and be chill. But what about the ones who are really disappointed with their action, with their effort and with not making a team? Like, what are you going to do? Because, you know, next year you're going to be an eighth grader and it's going to be these same kids. that made the team that you're going to. So what are you doing? And I love out of about seven of them, two of them said, well, I'm on my way to the Y right now. Man, it brought a smile to my face because I know what he was going to do. He was going to work on his game. And that's the thing that we have to teach our kids these days. We're let we let our kids quit when they get disappointed. It's OK, baby. It was the coaches fought. Hell no, wasn't the coaches fault. It was your fault. And I'm not talking about the parent. I'm talking about that kid. Because you know you could have worked harder. You know you had all summer to get better. You know your friends was out there hooping while you were sitting on the court just chilling and talking. You on your phone. You know, your video game, you know, you hanging out late at night, chilling with the fellas, even in the seventh, eighth grade. You know how kids are nowadays, because that's what they do. You know, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it because we hung out that late at night. Of course, it was on our street. We couldn't go into other neighborhoods back in the day because we had to, you know, you had to be by the front porch when the streetlight came on or you was in some big trouble when we was kids. But you know, you. I always tell these kids today if you're not doing anything to get better, then you're not doing anything. The way that you do anything is the way that you do everything. If you aren't disappointed by being cut, then you're pretty much not going to be disappointed with any failure that you have in life. And the thing about sports, it can be a microcosm to life. You can be the worst player on a basketball team and spend two summers doing nothing but drills, YouTube videos, know, uh looking at them, how to, what drills that I need to work on. Okay, I need to work on my left hand. So pull up my phone, YouTube, what, you know, what, what, what drills do they have? There's so much, and these kids have so much access to getting better that they think that they need somebody to help them get better when we didn't have that. You know what we did to get better? You know what we did to avoid disappointment? We played, you know, and I don't see this from the kids no more. We played 21. You'd have 15, 17 cats on one hoop. You know, that's enough for three, you know, 505s. But anyway, we got to get it about three, four games of 21. That was our warm up. You don't see kids playing 21 no more. And then with some hard fought 21 game, because we was competitive. Even the worst kid out of all of us, he was still in there, knees skinned up just like us, because he done got knocked down going for a ball. But you better know that that mug was in there going for the ball. because he didn't want to get embarrassed on the walk home, us talking about how sorry he was or anything like that based on his effort. You know, we love to say, man, that mug could score a bucket, but hey, that mug got every rebound. That mug was diving out of bounds trying to get balls. I'll take him on my team any day. And he might've gotten cut because he wasn't as good as us to make our team. And we had cats like that. We had cats that worked so hard and they still got cut. But they didn't quit. They would be at tryouts next year. The year after that didn't matter how many times they got cut. Because when we was kids, quitting wasn't allowed. If you got cut and you failed, Mug, you got to figure out to make it. What you got to do to make the squad? And there was no favoritisms. And parents didn't go out and start other teams. Our disappointment came from us. when it came to sports. And with these basketball trials and talking to these kids that are disappointed about being cut, you know, the thing that I used to love to do after I had cuts, in which I hated having cuts, you know, because at a point in time it got to where my coaching, had to make cuts. I would always leave time for the kid to come up to me to find out. why he got cut and what he could do to get better to make the team next year. And the funny thing about it is you cut 20 or 30 kids. You know, I mean, one time, one year, I think I cut like 15, 16 kids and only two of them came up to me and asked me, coach, what I got to do to make the squad next year? What do I got to work on? That's the disappointment that I want. That's the disappointment that we got to teach our children. When you are disappointed, what are you going to do? And I'm strictly only talking about sports. I'm talking about when you're getting cut from sports because we're talking about the kids right now. Of course, they'll get disappointed by us as grownups when they get older and, you know, disappointed in the work that they're doing or something like that. But we're talking about strictly athletics when they get cut. How to upend the disappointment that they might feel. And you know, as a parent, the first thing that we want to do is try to make them feel better, but it does not, that does not help the child. could imagine what my father would say if I come home and I got cut, which I never did, but if I ever came home and got cut, you know, and said that I was disappointed, first thing he would say was, well, that's you, that's you, go do something about it. You know, not come here and sit down, let's talk about it. Why are you disappointed, son? You know, what did they do? No, no, no, no. Like I said to my son, what say to my son, what did you not do? Because after all, when you're sports in middle school and in high school, your effort... pretty much can get you on any team. You put in more effort than anybody and you can pretty much make any team. So therefore, your disappointment should always come in yourself when you don't make the team because again, you had off summer, you had off football season, unless you were playing football. And another thing that I hate is, kids that are disappointed that because they were on varsity as a sophomore then they were on varsity as a junior and then they get cut as a senior well you didn't get any better you was on varsity for three years and you got no better but yet there was a sophomore who came in here who was already better than you as a senior why would i keep you Why would I waste a jersey on you who's not gonna play when this sophomore might give me some meaningful minutes? See, that's the thing that these kids don't think about in their disappointment because we give them excuses. And being disappointed is okay. Being disappointed from not making a squad is okay. But what's not okay is being disappointed that you didn't make it because you felt you were entitled to make it or being disappointed you didn't make it because you didn't put in the work or being disappointed that you didn't make it because your friends made it. You know, I heard that from one of the kids. You know, well, so and so made it. That's why I'm, you know, I'm mad because I don't get the, wait a minute, you mad because you don't get the, you know what saying? Hang out with so and so, them Kahoop all of the time. You was just they boy. You know, you run into that all of the time as a coach. You know, the thing about today's kids is we have to teach them what to do with disappointment. What you do with disappointment is you get better. What you do with disappointment is learn how that feeling feels. And as a child, never want it again. You know, my kids never wanted to hear me or my wife say to them, hey, I'm disappointed in you. Because it could never be anything athletically unless they talked back to a referee or talked back to their coaches or, you know, did something flagrant to an opponent. Because that's, you know, stuff that we don't do at our house and I don't condone that. So that's how you would disappoint me when it comes to sports as a child. But I would never be disappointed in you because you didn't put in the effort. That's you. And we have to teach the kids that that's their disappointment. And we have to teach them again, learn that feeling, keep that feeling. And now what are we going to do with that feeling? You know, I love to hear the few little kids over there in my neighborhood after we had the conversation about their disappointment. Man, man, Coach Marshall, you know what? You right, you right. em Yeah, I'm gonna spend all summer getting in the weight room and man, it's winter time. Yeah, but the basketball season is over with. So I'm gonna get ready for track. I'm gonna run track. Because it leads into other things when you pour into these kids and you try to help them with their disappointment. The thing as a coach, we have to teach these kids how to deal with their disappointment. We have to teach them how to manifest their disappointment into maybe a better situation, help them make it next year based on your conversation. You know, I see too many coaches that only focus on the ones that made it, you know, but the ones that didn't make it can also become the ones that make it next year, you know. You don't have to pour as much into the ones that didn't make it. So pour a little extra into the ones that didn't make it. Because at a young age, kids can't deal with disappointment in the way that grownups try to give it to them. uh I think it's a case of we have to keep it. in perspective and keep it in its arena. uh You know, we mix disappointment up with different things. So therefore the kid is confused. You know, which is why when a kid says I disappointed my parents or I felt like I disappointed my parents, that's in the wrong arena. And that's where the kid is confused because I'm sure, you know, when he told me that I'm sure his dad and his mom wasn't going to be upset with him about not making the team. They might be upset with the effort that he might have put in to not that that caused him not to make it, but they're not disappointed that he didn't make the team or maybe they are. I just don't think that, you know, as parents, that should make. be what we're disappointed in. We should be disappointed in the effort because again, the way you do anything is the way you do everything. So that means, you know, if you lollygagging on tryouts, then you probably lollygagging in school and your book work because it's a habit. So, you know, again, these younger athletes and all of you high school kids, boys and girls that were uh cut if you're a senior, you know. Go spend the time looking within yourself. Get ready for college. I mean, I'm sorry to say that, but I mean, your pretty much a high school career is over, so you gotta figure something else out. I mean, I come from a high school where coach would tell you if you were a senior, you didn't make the squad. I see you at graduation. But if you were a junior and you didn't make the squad, sophomore, freshman, on down the line, figure out what it is that made you feel the way that you feel. Figure out what it is that made you feel disappointed about being cut. Figure out how you disappointed yourself in allowing that to happen by again, perhaps never getting better in a three year time period. know, figure it out. Because disappointment hurts, especially at a young age. And the thing about it is getting cut sucks. Never had it happen again to me. But I've had to do it. And I've seen the looks on these kids' face. And I know what disappointment looks like. And these kids were disappointed. But again, the two and three that came up to me were dejected and disappointed. But when they asked me what it was that they could do to be better, to make the team next year, you should see the light that came on. Because then all of a sudden you could see them questioning themselves. Well, and you don't know what the questions they were asking themselves, but it could have been, you know what? I could have ran faster in the sprints instead of being in the middle of the pack. I could have worked harder in the rebounding drills. I could have, you know, uh been first in the suicides. You see the light kind of turn on and that's one of the great joys of being a coach is helping kids deal with their disappointment and watching that disappointment come into problem solving, turns into problem solving because that disappointment is a problem for them. So how do I solve that disappointment? it is so enlightening and it is so great and it gives you so much pleasure as a coach to see the light come on in that kid and that kid knows that what you told him was the truth and you cared about it and the greatest and the feeling that's even better than that is when next year you come out there and you know you go to the tryouts and you see the kid out, the mug made the squad and then you see the joy and the jubilation on this kid. There's nothing more rewarding. So as coaches and as athletes, young athletes, us coaches, let's teach our young athletes how to deal with disappointment better. Let's help them deal with disappointment. And you young athletes, learn how to deal with your disappointment. Listen to people who try to help you deal with your disappointment. And... Look within yourself when you're disappointed. Figure out what it is, figure out what it was that made you get to that point in your life. Thank you for listening. I appreciate all of y'all. Coach Rodo's podcast, Winning Regardless, signing off.