Winning Regardless | EP. 031- STOP Blaming the Coach: Parents & Players Need an Accountability Check

Why is the coach always the first person to blame when a high school team struggles? 

In this episode, Coach Rodo dives deep into the toxic culture of "bleacher coaching" and constant criticism. Using the current state of Kalamazoo high school basketball as a backdrop, Rodo defends coaches like Ramsey and the newly appointed Rodney Manning. He argues that things like missed free throws, lack of effort, and failed execution are often player-level issues, not coaching errors.

Rodo explains the unique dynamics of coaching in a "blood city" like Kalamazoo, where family ties and local politics make the job nearly impossible. He also breaks down why a coach doesn't need to be your child's "quasi-friend" or attend their graduation to be a great mentor. It's time to stop the belittling, give our coaches some grace, and hold the players accountable for what happens on the court.

#CoachRodo #WinningRegardless #HighSchoolBasketball #KalamazooCentral #LoyNorrix #SportsParenting #CoachingAdvice #AthleteAccountability #YouthSports #BasketballMecca #SupportOurCoaches

(00:30) - Character Season: The return of high school basketball and the "critics" in the stands.
(02:00) - Execution vs. Effort: Why a lob pass or a missed screen isn't the coach's fault.
(03:45) - The Paul Cook Standard: Remembering the old-school discipline of the greats.
(05:15) - Coaching in a "Blood City": The family dynamics that make Kalamazoo a tough place to coach.
(07:30) - Defending Coach Ramsey: Why his calm demeanor is exactly what these kids need.
(10:00) - The Comparison Trap: Why you can't compare today's rosters to the state championship eras.
(12:15) - The $9,000 Sacrifice: Why coaches aren't doing it for the money.
(14:30) - Professional Boundaries: Why your coach shouldn't be your "friend" or attend your open house.
(17:00) - The Rodney Manning Era: Why Loy Norrix parents need to shut up and support the rebuild.
(20:00) - Grace and Accountability: Shifting the blame from the grownups back to the work.

Transcript

0:00

Why is it that everyone wants to talk about the coaches? we go to games and the first thing we do is we critique the coach and every mistake that happens with the team is the coach. Your coach can be great and your kids can play like shit. That is, it's part of sports. You're my student athlete. I need you to have good grades. I need you to show up to practice and work hard. And I need you listen to me when I'm coaching you. That's your relationship. Welcome to another interesting day of Coach Rodo's podcast, Winning Regardless. You know, the basketball games, the high school basketball game, high school basketball games have started and I love this time of year because you know. You get a lot of characters out, know, people that you ain't seen in a while, they come to the games, especially if you're high school and your area is pretty good. Like ours is ranked, in our area is ranked number two in the state. And they've had a couple of games here recently. You know, the thing that kills me, because I wasn't in town, so I didn't get to go to the first game. So I was getting a lot of texts from people, from people. The thing that cracks me up is. Why is it that everyone wants to talk about the coaches? Why is it that, you know, anything that the kids do wrong, they blame the coach? You know, I was getting texts from people, there ain't no half-court offense. Well, maybe there is a half-court office, but the first option is to always run because you have that type of an athletic squad like we happen to have. And when they get in a half-court set, they don't look like they know what they're doing, but that's not coaching. The first thing that people want to do, they want to blame coaching. No, execution is coaching. When you're in half-quart set, you lobbing passes, that ain't the freaking coach. If you're not setting the screen, that ain't the coach. That's not execution. Those things are effort. The things that these people were texting me about, blaming the coach is awe. effort on the players is not the execution, making free throws. That is not a coaching issue. You know, it's crazy how when things go wrong or when the expectations that you as parent expectators have on the team doesn't go according during the game, we all want to turn to the coach. And you know, it's usually some underlying issue that people have with the coach. It's some usually either he messed with your girlfriend or he cut somebody that you didn't want to one of your people or when your kid was there, he didn't play them enough or, you know, there's always some underlying, but I hate when we go to games and the first thing we do is we critique the coach and every mistake that happens with the team is the coach. I'm here to tell y'all, as a coach, as an official, and as a player, it's not. I mean, I look at my high school coach, it's Paul Cook, and my boys in them, they'll tell you about Coach Cook. Coach Cook, really, he didn't play. you laid to practice the first time, you know, oh you'd run or whatever, um do your push-ups, and they'd stand the third. The second time, he'd tell you to turn in your uniform, pretty much. because you weren't committed. I look at the coaches around here in our area and I applaud them because we live in a tough area. We live in a very critical area. mean, people criticize you for the way you chew your gum if you're a coach. You know, so I applaud the coaches that we have around here. And the thing that I try to tell people is, Not just anybody can coach our high school team, not just, talking about Kalamazoo Central, not just anybody can coach Kalamazoo Central. Because Kalamazoo Central is, the city of Kalamazoo is so entrenched with blood. Family everywhere. When I say family, I'm talking about... cousins, brothers, sisters, like all throughout the school, two kids would fight. The parents would come up and then them motherfuckers never even knew they were cousins. And the parents would whoop they behind right there on the spot. That's how Kalamazoo is. They didn't even know they were cousins and they fight each other. Man, what are you doing fighting your cousin? that's my cousin? Yeah, now you got to fight me because your family don't fight family. You know, I mean, I've actually witnessed these types of interactions in my community. So the coach that we have now, you know, I like him. He played basketball, played pro ball, coached in several places. A lot of people don't like him. They might have their own reasons for not liking him. But I tell people, they don't understand coaching in a city like this. You can't have... And, you know, my mentor who passed away, Steve Dunning, everybody... Because this dude was great. This dude could get the best out of the worst. I'm talking about he can make lemonade out of lemon, he can make ice cream out of snow. This man was bad. He can make mud, taste good. He was a hell of a coach. He wouldn't even do it. Because he's from here, he understood that. To be from here and a coach, now you're doing a lot of favors. You have to do a lot of favors because it's not like when Coach Jackson was here who would tell you, I don't care who your mama and your daddy is, go tell your daddy, tell him to come on down here and I'll whoop his ass too. You can't tell kids that. Coach Gardner, who would say the same thing, man, I don't care, man, who the hell is your daddy? Man, I coached your daddy. Who are you thinking? Man, get out of here. So you can't bring in coaches like that in our area. So the coach that we have now is perfect in the sense of, to me, he has that demeanor to where... He really doesn't pay attention to what you say about him because he's that confident in the type of person that he is because the boy could ball. Anybody who know Ramsey could Ramsey could go. So the thing about him that I love with his coaching style is I know he hears it. I know he hears people wanting to get him out of here and I'm like to people who are you going to get to replace him? Oh, there's plenty of people that don't want this job. First of all, that job, we already had a great coach here. Motherfucker went to three state championships, one, two in four years. Couldn't pay him. He went to schools that could pay him. Now he's at a school desk that put him in the school on top of paying him. And when I say pay him, You mean the little six, $7,000 that diversity coaches get? No, this motherfucker's got a whole separate basketball budget, because he's at a school that produce professional basketball players, professional football players, uh administration, the boosters. He's got all, and when you say the boosters down here at this school, we're talking million dollar boosters. who want their kids in public schools and not private school because they want their kids to integrate, mingle, and learn. And they also want to be the best in athletics. And so what do they do? They pay them coaches. So we had that guy. And now we got Ramsey, who, again, I'm not upset at all because I like him as a coach. His demeanor is gray because he's not a yeller. He's not a screamer. These kids live in a community with nothing but yelling and fucking screaming. And he's not that. And I think what incenses a lot of parents is because they think that he does not care. Why? Because he doesn't yell and scream at the kids? That doesn't mean that he don't care. Because I'm in some of the practices. I'm listening to parents. Do you go to practice and actually watch your child at the practice? Do you see how many times you have to tell your kid to run harder in practice? Set the back screen the right way. No, y'all don't see that stuff. But the first thing we want to do is we want to blame him and, you know, say that the kids aren't being coached right when we think something should go. Maybe it's just a sloppy freaking game. There are games, look at the Philadelphia Eagles and the San Diego Chargers game last night. I didn't even know who won, because I went to bed. Six turnovers and seven sacks. These are professionals. Slappy damn game. With two great coaches. Your coach can be great and your kids can play like shit. That is, it's part of sports. But in my community over here in our area, sometimes they don't want to accept that. And by no means am I knocking the parents in our area, because they're great. They support the hell out of their kids. And I love that. They'll come together for the kids. It's a great community. It's just the way that they are about coaches like Ramsey, because it's not what they're used to. He's not what they're used to seeing. He's been here a minute. And, um, I, I, again, I think he's done a great job. were in, we're, we're in Michigan, believe it or not, it's a basketball Mecca. And everyone is upset that he's had these, this player and that player and hasn't won a state championship. You say play your, haven't heard plural. He had Isaiah Livers, Isaiah Livers. He has some good players around him. But not when you're going up, when you go to the east side of the state, when they got two Isaiah Livers plus a couple of role players around them on each one of those high school teams. Granted, they may not have gone as far as him because of different circumstances, but you got to remember Isaiah played in Xavier Tillman's era. Michigan High School basketball. The Michigan Mustangs, when they played on the Michigan Mustangs, they won the National High School AAU Adidas Championship for their age group. State of Michigan. That's how bad our basketball is over here. We got some ballers. And you know, Ramsey has had, you know, people say, he had Isaiah, he couldn't get out of this. uh Look at who the hell they ran into. They did everything. This dude, they went as far as we in the basketball community and coaches who know the game as they could go. know, them years that Mike Thomas won the state championship, there was four or five D1 players on that team. For three straight years, he had four or five D1 players. at two pros. You understand what I'm saying? So when you try to do comparison, it ain't fair. It ain't fair. And what y'all don't understand is Ramsey is doing this shit for like $9,000 and he shares it with his staff, which he's got like four or five people on his staff. So that's telling you he is not doing it for the money. while y'all are talking about when the first day, because that's one of the things that, yeah, you get paid to die. Yeah, OK. He takes home $2,500. For six months, he takes home $2,500. And this is what y'all judge him off of. You know, we just got to get that man some grace. We got to give all of our coaches in those types of shape, in those type of systems, some grace. We have to understand that um they are making your kids better if nothing else, a better human being. One of my buddies, my good buddies, we was talking about it he was like, Rod, man, they don't even invite the coach over to their graduation because they don't have a relationship with them. Shit. I don't know who invited Coach Cook over to their graduation when we graduated high school. Because he was my coach. My friends and family came to my graduation. A basketball coach ain't my friend. He ain't my family. I mean, you know, if he was from Kalamazoo. and no grew up with all of my family, known all my family, watched me be born, watched me grow up. I would expect him to be there then. He's from Benton Harbor. He didn't know y'all kids when they was little. He didn't know y'all when y'all was little. Why should he be invited to your open house? None of my sons invited their coaches to their open houses either. For what? What kind of relationship am I supposed to have? You're my student athlete. I need you to have good grades. I need you to show up to practice and work hard. And I need you listen to me when I'm coaching you. That's your relationship. Those three things. If you live in one of those inner cities where, you know, ah once in a while you got to find another spot to stay the night at, okay, those are some different coaches. Hey man, come on, you got this couch right here. Or, you know, I got an extra room where you can go down in the basement. I know plenty of coaches that let, you know, em that's that environment. But ain't none of our kids in that environment. None of the kids that he coaches is in that environment. So as far as having a relationship outside of coach, athlete, student, teacher, I'm cool with that. I'm cool with him not having relationships with them like that. Because now you lose the respect. Because they don't look at you as coach and teacher no more. They almost look at you as quasi-friend. And remember when we was kids, what were we always told? A kid, stay in your place as a kid. And what did the grownups do to make sure that we stayed in our place as kids? They didn't fraternize. Why would we want our coast to fraternize with our kids? I don't. Because it becomes a different type of a dynamic when that happens. Yeah, you can be cool when y'all see each other laugh and joke. What's up, Coach? Da-da-da-da-da. That's not what I'm talking about. You know, okay, if you invite him, most coaches that I know, if you invite them, they come over, they drop a card off, then they bust on up. If they go. And that's cool. But I'm cool with a coach not sitting there kicking it because now all of a sudden I'm at your open house, a parent of a kid. yeah, this is so and so's parent who's going to be trying out next year. Now all of a sudden, I met coach Ramsey. He said that so and so is going to be on the team. And you didn't even say that, but that's what the door opens. It opens up and brings a whole nother can of worms that I understand coach. These people don't understand that. And we as parents, again, what I always say, we got to do better. We got to respect these guys and these girls. They're volunteers. If they're hurting your children and your children aren't learning, I can understand. But if they're not hurting your child and your child is getting better and they're learning. oh Quit criticizing. Because again, I say to the people around here who say, who the hell else do you want? Who's going to do better around? We have a school over here, another school over here, that is struggling. No matter who the frick coaches that school over here, they ain't been good in 20 years. they Class A, full of brothers. Get good men as good coaches. But it's a whole different dynamic. It's a whole different student population, whole different administrative population. So the dynamic is different. I have a buddy now who is the coach over there now. His name is Rodney Manning. You know, he's been an assistant over there for years, so he's known these kids, and he knows he has his work cut out on him. But that man ain't gonna quit on these kids. He ain't quit on these kids in 30 years. And he ain't gonna quit now, and I wish him all the best. But for him to have all the best, we're gonna need you parents to sit up in the stands and shut the hell up while he going through these growing pains. I understand that like this man's got one hell of a job to do if he's going to do anything as far as not even making Lloyd Norris respectable, but just making Lloyd Norris visible. And in order to do that, he's got to have the help of the parent. He can't have the criticism. He can't have other people telling him what he's not doing and what he should be doing. What he needs is people to say, what can I do to help? Because me myself, I would love to see Lloyd Norris be back to what it was. When we used to have Kalamazoo Central, Lloyd, that used to be the biggest game. The whole city was shut down. Hell, right here, that one would be right there in Western Jim. And the seats will be, we used to make fun and say, hell, we filled up the seats more than the college team, than Western do. Because that game used to be big and them players used to be bad. They used to play, there used to be some good games. You had some good players on both ends and they took that game serious. Now it's, I mean, North 11 last year, but you know, pretty much the rivalry is a joke because... of, you know, the players just aren't the same. But the players aren't the same because the programs aren't the same. And the history of the programs aren't the same, but... that has nothing to do with the repairing of the program that can be done. And the only way that can be done is to have, for Rodney Manning to have the support from the parents, not the criticism. Not the belittling, because again, it's gonna be tough. It's gonna be real tough year. He's got to find some things out. You know, coming from an assistant to a vice to from assistant to coach where now all of a sudden you're not just writing words, you're actually speaking the words. It's a big, difference. So, you know, me, I would like to ask, you know. Let's cut our coaches some slack. Let's not blame our coaches for everything that we see on the court. Let's understand there's several nuances that's going on that you're not really paying attention to because we're so focused on what we believe should be happening and what a coach should be saying because these things aren't happening that perhaps he's done saying. You know what I'm saying? Perhaps... I've told you guys enough to where it should be muscle memory. You know, let's hold the players as accountable as we hold the coaches. Because again, I don't think that we're going to get much better until we can afford to pay a coach. And I don't really see that happening no time soon. And you know, we got to... We got to support around here. We got to quit putting the blame on the grownups, which allows the kids to put the blame on grownups. And start teaching kids, let's be accountable for ourselves first, and then let that other person be accountable for themselves. And things will get better. Let's give our coaches grace and let's support them. Let's not criticize them and let's not, um you know. put them down and especially to the kids and the ones that they're coaching and the ones that they have coached. That's pretty much all I want to say about that. So I hope you guys all have a good day. Thank you for tuning in to Coach Rodo's Winning Regardless. again, coaches are volunteers as well, and they're also teachers and mentors. And let's get back to treating them how they were when we was kids.