Winning Regardless | EP. 032 - "Just Spectate": A Referee’s Plea to Parents and Coaches

"Leave it alone. Let the officials officiate and the kids play."

Coach Rodo wears many hats—coach, business owner, and former high school and college basketball official. In this episode, he takes off the coach's whistle and puts on the referee's stripes to address the alarming crisis in sports officiating. 

From parents riling up crowds to coaches chasing refs out of gyms, Rodo breaks down how "bleacher officiating" is destroying the game for our children. He shares personal stories from the court, including the legendary moment he offered his whistle and shirt to a heckling fan at halftime, and why he was "embarrassed as hell" when his own son got teed up. 

If you've ever yelled at a ref, this is a must-listen. It’s time to stop the violence, stop the blame, and start showing respect to the authority figures who volunteer their time so our kids can compete.

#CoachRodo #WinningRegardless #Referees #BasketballOfficials #SportsParenting #HighSchoolBasketball #RefereeShortage #Sportsmanship #RespectTheGame #YouthSports #SidelineEtiquette

(00:45) - The Art of Officiating: Why talking to players prevents game-stoppers.
(02:30) - The Big Men's Favorite Ref: Calling a fair "big man" game.
(04:00) - Bleacher Referees: Why you don't know the rules as well as you think you do.
(06:15) - The halftime challenge: Handing a heckler my whistle and shirt.
(08:30) - Officials Have No Bias: Why referees don't care who wins your high school game.
(10:45) - The Violence Crisis: Why we are losing good officials to fear and abuse.
(13:00) - An Accountability Lesson: Why Coach Rodo blames the players, not the refs, for a loss.
(15:30) - The Authority Figure: Using sports to teach children how to respect authority.
(18:00) - A Father’s Embarrassment: When Mike Squires teed up Rodo’s son (twice).
(21:00) - Final Plea: "Our glory days are over"—how to be a better spectator this season.

Transcript

0:00

I'm gonna beat your ass after the games, and this, that, and the third, the... For what? Listen to what you just said after a what? Game. Officials deserve your respect. What better way to teach your child how to respect authority than when they're playing a sport We've already had our glory days, they over. Leave it alone. Let the officials officiate and the kids play. Hey everybody, I'd like to welcome you again to another magnificent day of Coach Rodo's podcast, Winning Regardless. Well, the basketball season, the high school basketball season is underway. And man, it's already starting to be crazy. know, as in a, so along with coaching, I also was a high school and a low division college referee official. oh I loved it. I had to stop because of my business, but I loved it because it kept me close to the game. And the thing that I loved the most is, you know, as an official, the way that I officiated it was I would talk to the kids. you know, while they're playing rather than, you you hand checking, I'll be like, get your hands off, you know, because you, I don't know that player or keep track of him, but you know, that might be like his third foul and a little something like that is his fourth, but if I tell him he'll stop, you know, or, or, you know, get out of, you know, none of these game stoppers like three, you know, get out of the lane. You've been in there long enough, you know, rather than calling it three seconds, you know, so that garnered, and I learned from the best in the state of Michigan, his name is Dave Hart. You know, he always used to tell me, if you can find a way to stop from blowing the whistle, then figure out a way. And most of that time was just talking to a player, just letting them know. So with that being said, the players, they loved our crew whenever we walked in the games, especially big teams, you know, where they get, you know, they'll get an officiating crew where the big men foul out because, you know, these refer- don't know how to really call it a big man game. Whereas we'd walk in the gym and the big boys would see us and they'd start smiling because they'd say we get to finish tonight. Because they knew they weren't going to fall out because we know the game. again, with that being said, going to these games and listening to all of these people just complaining about the officiating. And it's funny because none of these not understanding that anybody can become an official. All you have to do is just take a test, get you some games to learn how to do it. And eventually, you know, you'll get good enough to do varsity games. But yet still, none of them do it, but they are great from the bench and from the bleacher, should I say. I hear them yelling, you know, Travel when it's not a travel. I hear them yelling, you know, what are you looking at? You can't even see it and I'm thinking to myself, know, what the hell are you looking at? What is it that you see? You know and they don't understand it in a sense they affect the game Because when you start complaining, let's just say if you're a parent that's complaining to the referee And now all of sudden your child is on the court and hears you complaining to the official. You don't know what the hell you talking about because that official is on the court. He knows what he's calling. And we have reasons for calling calls and reasons for not calling calls that you as the common fan don't know, which is why it behooves you to just shut the hell up and watch the game. Because you don't know why we not calling that. Maybe because we missed it on the other end and this is my way of, you know what? This is your get back right here. Or you want a foul. Maybe you didn't see that your kid jumped into the defender and all the defender did was go straight up the block to shot. Every block shot is not a freaking foul. And it don't matter because half of the mugs can't shoot freaking free throws anyway. So you really don't want us to call a foul and stop the game. Because when it comes down to it, you might lose based on that fact alone. But away from all of that, I digress. uh As an official that has done some really great high school, high level games, um The thing that I don't like is, you know, again, parents officiating from the benches or, you know, even guys that... I even hear guys that officiate talk about other officials. Man, you guys have to understand this is a voluntary job. Yeah, they get paid, but they don't get paid shit. You know, or should I say they get paid, doo-doo. You know, for what they have to put up with. Why do you think... That profession is lacking the way that it is. It's because of the way that the parents and the fans are, man. You got parents and fans now because they lose and they blame an official or whatever. Beating up officials, there was an official who got killed over a freaking baseball game. A kids baseball game, man. What are we doing as a society when our kids are playing athletics? to where our opinion is the way that it is to affect the game so much that we have to blame someone for our misgivings on the game that we harm that person who's a voluntary. Yeah, okay, they're getting paid, but to me it's still voluntary because you're not, you don't have to be there. They chose to officiate. And you also have that choice, but you'd again, you'd rather criticize and be a sideline official rather than get in there and understand what it's like, understand the different dynamics of the game, understand the different dynamics of the personalities. As an official, you're dealing with 12 different personalities on the court. We take the coaches out of it, because you got 10 players and then you got your two partners. That's 12 personalities you got to deal with. And now I got y'all out here sitting in the bleachers trying to tell me how to do my job when y'all haven't even taken, don't even, you don't even know the rules, first of all. You think you know the rules because maybe you played or maybe you watch it on TV, but you don't really know the rules like you think you do. And people's lives are being put in jeopardy because we're riling up the crowd by attacking the officials. We attack them first during the game. And they're only human. Some of them say, gonna say something back. And then you get mad at them for saying something back. Well, you're not supposed to talk to me. You're not supposed to talk. You're supposed to say nothing to them. You're supposed to leave them alone. You know, one of the greatest things, and one of the greatest things that I ever did at a basketball, high school basketball game. There's a guy sitting in the front seat again, raffling one of these big game, big kid game. You know, he wants us to call it his way. He's yelling and he's screaming the whole time. He's sitting there. You know, the AD asks, y'all want us to kick him out? No, no, no, no. Halftime rolls around. You know, we sitting there, we, you know, doing our little halftime thing. So, okay, I come to be the center. We ready to start the third quarter. I get the ball, walk over to where he is, because he's sitting right there where we about to hand the ball in. Take off my whistle and I take off my shirt and I hand it. to him. And you should have seen the look on his face and you should have seen the look at the crowd. And he turned beet red. Why? Because I knew I had put him in a position that he didn't want to be and he just wanted to be there to talk and criticize and critique. But he didn't want the job himself. And guess what? That mug didn't say a word the rest of the damn game. So I just wanted him to understand that, man, I'm out here doing a job for these kids, not for you. I know the rules. Therefore, I know what I'm doing. You are yelling because you want to see something that benefits you because you have a bias. I don't have a bias. We as officials do not have a bias. We don't care who win or lose. We don't have a dog in the fight. It incenses me when I hear people say the official caused us the game. OK, maybe the official on that one play call may have, at that point in time of the game, may have caused you to game such as the Baltimore Ravers that raver. was a catch. Two steps in the end zone. That was a catch. No, I ain't. But that's not enough to make me go to the officials and, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But of course, I'm not getting paid to play that word either. So I don't know how I act on that. However, when I hear. And one of my buddies is good for this man. The officials man, they da da da da da. And I always tell her, man, we do not care about high school basketball enough to cheat for another team, you know, and need to do these guys that is out there busting their asses for your children. They don't care who wins or loses. They have a job to do. They're out there doing this job. We need to cut them some slack again. You can go to MSHAA.com a uh basketball officiating website and become an official. I think as a coach, that was one of the greatest things I did was being an official because I understood. When I coach my kids' teams, they would come out and some tight games we'd lose, whatever they say. And I heard them once say, man, it was because of the official. Coach, we lost because of the official. And you know, I would shake my hand and say, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, yeah, but you know, what about that loose ball that was right in front of you that you didn't bend over to grab and they picked that up? What about that rebound, couple three or four rebounds that they got on that one put back? What about them missed free throws that we had? Oh man, what about them five second calls? You know, I always try to put it back on them so that they understood that our mistakes that compiled upon each other took points off of the board was the reason for our win losing. Had nothing to do with what the official called and didn't call. Hell, we got away with a whole hell of a lot more than what they called. And that's the thing that people don't understand. As an official, when we officiate your game, you get away with a whole lot more than what we call because the people only watch the ball. They don't watch the illegal screens. They don't watch the guy on the backside pulling on the other guy's shirt so that he can get positioned. And we not calling it because we tell them, hey, let go of his shirt. Hey, y'all knock that out. Let's go. Keep it clean. They don't see that stuff. They're too busy watching the ball. So if something happens on ball, and they might not even know what it is or what it's about, but it didn't go the way that they wanted. The first thing they want to do is yell out the officials. Officials are just like your basketball player that you're watching. They're not perfect But I tell you what they do a whole hell of a lot better job of doing that dead game than your ass would Getting out there because they know the rules. They've been doing it for years And they volunteer to do it And some of them do it for the love. I mean, I know a lot of my friends that's still referee, they do it because they love the game of basketball. uh We used to play it at a high level and we can't play it at that high level no more. doing high school basketball keeps us close to that level. It keeps you acquainted with who's who. around here in basketball, you know, and I loved, I used to love that part about officiating. And we as parents and as people, spectators need to give them that respect. We need to uh respect the fact that they don't really have to be here. You know how many seasons have been canceled for lack officiating? Hell, look, just go to Texas papers. You know, go to Arizona, go to California, where you got varsity officials. They changing the times on varsity games so they can have officials come from one varsity game and go across town to another school to do another varsity game because they ain't got enough officials to fill those games because out there, them folks tow guns after officials. They go crazy over officiating, so therefore they can't get enough to do it. And why would you want to? Why would you want to put your life in that type of abuse over trying to do something good for kids? Because a guy can, like I always say, we fuck it up. Excuse my language, I've been doing a lot better on that. You know, but we mess it up. We as grownups mess it up. And then what do you see, the first thing you see now too, now all of a sudden, our coaches, the coaches that we have coaching our kids, now if they don't agree with a ref's call or they think that a ref caused them a game, they're going after the officials, which causes the kid, and I always said, I wish I would see my son go talk back to a ref or go after a ref. I watch AAU games where teams chase the officials out of gyms. and parents is right there with them, I would beat the shit out of my son. Because that's not how we are, that's not how we act. That's not what sports is about. That's not what treating an authority figure, because that's what an official is when he's on that court and he's running your game, he's your authority figure, because he has the power to keep your ass in the game or to put you out. He has the ultimate power. And we wonder why some of it is subpar, because the good ones quit. Or the ones that could be good don't even want to do it. because it's not fun anymore. It's become scary. And that ain't cool, man. It's not good for the kids. That's what I care about more than anything. The example that we as girls, and it's our people. I'm just gonna put it out there and say it. I ain't never been at a white basketball tournament and seen the coaches get upset at the official and go after them and then the team follow. But I've been a few of ours where that's happened. and listening and then hearing some of the parents that condoned it. And it hurts my soul because this is what we're teaching our kids. And that's a loser mentality to me. When you create blame and then you tell them the way that you... get over that blame is to do it through violence. Man, that's sad, man. And it's not that you're telling it to them, it's the example that you're setting by your actions. You know, if your kid sits there and watch you watch a basketball game and all he hears you or she hears you do is complain to the official about the issue, what do you think that does to them? When they're on the court and they don't get, and maybe they get bumped and think it's a foul. You ain't gonna call that foul. He or she is pushing me. He or she is bumping me. jumping up and down. She traveled, she traveled. What do you think that does for the kid when they watch you react to officials while you're watching the game? after all, our kids do emulate us if we are great, if we're good parents to them. Because they see us as their beacon of light. They see us as the way that they should be in society. That's the way that they should act. is that the way that I... Well, that's how my dad acted watching the Pistons play. My gun broke three TVs. And it might not be what you meant to portray, but that is when you have a young child watching these actions and then when they go to play sports and things don't go their way, we always got to find somebody to blame. Well, my dad always blamed me official, so that's who I'm going to blame. And now we done got to the point again to where our blame has become violent upon those who are just volunteers to try to make the game safer, better, more competitive for our kids to play. We gotta stop, we gotta do better. These officials deserve that. Officials deserve your respect. What better way to teach your child how to respect authority than when they're playing a sport to respect the ultimate authority to keep them in that game or not in that game? I used to be, I was, used to be, my son got in his high school basketball career, he got two ticks. And the funny part about it is the dude that gave him both texts is a friend of mine. He an old professional baseball player. His name is Mike Squires. And me and him been playing basketball down at the YLCA for like 20 something years. He knew Devin when Devin was born. All the way up to when Devin got to high school playing basketball. And Devin got two texts and he teed him up both times. And I was embarrassed as hell both times. Because for one, Mike didn't cut him any slack and I loved that. Everybody else would cut him slack because he's my son and I'm an official. Mike didn't cut him no slack because Mike needed him to know and to understand, I know your dad and I know that your dad ain't cool with this shit, so let me go ahead and whistle you up. Whistled him up twice. And I was embarrassed both times because... people also understands, you know, that's not how Rodney tells Devin to act. And I know his emotions, but the one thing that I used to always try to teach him was, use your emotion for motivation on the court. You don't use it to lash out in a negative manner. Turn that negative emotion into a positive emotion. And those two times he didn't do that. And I was embarrassed about that. And again, the parents knew it because they knew how I was with him and the things that I told him and how I taught him about being towards officials and coaches and authority figures in general. So I say that as to say that not all of our kids are perfect. Some of them are going to mess up. with the way that they talk to officials, with the way that they are to officials. But we as parents can teach them to be better to officials. We as parents can make officials want to come back and start officiating again. If we just shut the hell up, sit back and let the official do the game, let the kids play. We've already had our glory days, they over. Leave it alone. Let the officials officiate and the kids play. Let the officials officiate, let the kids play. It's over for us. Show them officials some respect. You don't have to like them. You do have to respect them during that time, during that two hour time period. So let's do so. Because we are out there to blow whistle. We don't come into the game and I'm going to fuck with this kid right here. Excuse me again. I'm going to mess with this kid right here the whole game. I'm going to, everything he do, I'm going to whistle him up. We don't come in the game looking, thinking that. And you as a parent make it bigger of a deal than even your kid as the player does. by singling out the officials. If the coach yells at the official, then you think you should join in. No, you're a spectator. So goddamn spectate. Spectate let the coach deal with the official because that's who we talked to we don't talk um We don't go over to the stands and say okay. What was the deal with that car? We we barely even hearing you And the problem is, the ones that do ignore you, you hurl threats all at them. Now all of a sudden, I'm gonna beat your ass after the games, and this, that, and the third, the... For what? Listen to what you just said after a what? Game. You didn't say after you stole from me. You didn't say after you, you know, punch me or nothing like that. You said after a game in which you were a spectator, man, and we can't get no officials no more because of those types of actions. So in closing, with the season underway and started, parents, let's, again, let's be spectators. Let's the kids play in the officials officiate. And let's just enjoy the game, enjoy the beauty of the game. Let's not critique our coaches. Let's just be... Good spectators smile, clap, and enjoy the mastery of these children and the work that they put in all summer for this time of year, and let's not ruin it for them. Thanks for listening to another episode of Coach Rodo's Winning Regardless podcast.