Deck the Halls (The One Where Matthew Broderick Catcalls His Daughter)

This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron unwrap Deck the Halls (2006) — the holiday comedy that tries to bottle Christmas spirit and instead dumps out seasonal misery. Matthew Broderick plays a joyless optometrist who’s obsessed with Christmas, while Danny DeVito shows up as a restless salesman who decides that turning his house into a space-visible light beacon is the key to existential fulfillment. 

So grab your hot cocoa, and join the guys as they break down mustachioed stunt doubles, ice-skating duels, and a sheriff’s provocative choice of underwear. Because if Deck the Halls taught us anything, it’s that even the brightest lights can’t save a holiday movie this dim.

Watch the trailer for Deck the Halls.

Transcript

Ade (00:00)
Hello and welcome to the Worst Movie Podcast. I'm Ade.

Aaron (00:03)
And I'm Aaron, and this is a podcast where we watch the worst movies ever made in the hopes of fighting a hidden gem.

Ade (00:10)
Enjoy.

So have you been watching anything interesting lately?

Aaron (00:26)
Not really. I've just been watching a streamer named AquaFPS on YouTube pretty much. He's playing Escape from Tarkov, which seems like suffering for him to play and I enjoy watching.

Ade (00:41)
What is Escape from Tarkov?

Aaron (00:45)
It is a video game. think it's a I don't know what they call that game type. It's a looter shooter extractor where you load into a raid and you can do PVP battles or you can just go around and try to avoid conflict and loot and you get to escape points where you can escape from the map with the loot that you got.

Ade (00:55)
just should have.

Okay. ⁓

Aaron (01:14)
It's,

I don't enjoy the game, but I like watching people play the game.

Ade (01:19)
That seems, ⁓ if you don't enjoy the game, what? I don't know. I sound like an old guy. Well, you know.

Aaron (01:27)
You are a boomer. Why would anyone

want to watch somebody play a game?

Ade (01:32)
I I understand enough to... I sometimes

watch people play games with their games that I enjoy. Why? Why do you enjoy watching somebody play a game that you hate?

Aaron (01:41)
because he's funny when he plays the game. I'm there for his banter, not the gameplay.

Ade (01:48)
So it's kind of like a podcast.

Aaron (01:50)
If I were there for the gameplay, he would probably not be the one I'd watch either, because he is not the most skilled player.

Ade (01:58)
It's

like the worst video game podcast, I guess, where ⁓ you're watching bad games and people play them poorly.

Aaron (02:02)
Yes.

Yeah, I mean, he's probably better than your average player at that, but that's because he has like 5000 hours in the game. Whereas his like his peers that also have that many hours in the game are probably better at the game than he is by now.

Ade (02:22)
Can you imagine us getting to 5,000 hours of bad movies? my gosh. ⁓ At least it's spread out a little bit.

Aaron (02:27)
I hope I hope not

Yeah, that's true.

Ade (02:34)
⁓ I've been watching Pluribus. Have you watched it at all? The new Vince Gilligan show? Are you a Breaking Bad fan?

Aaron (02:43)
I am. didn't know he was, yeah, I didn't know he had a new show.

Ade (02:44)
and better call Saul.

Well, it's also on Apple TV. So I think you'll just have to get Apple TV. It stars Reah Sehorn. think, I think that's how you say your name. Who played Kim Wexler in Better Call Saul. She was the best part of it. think, I think she was incredible. It's a very different type of show than Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. It's kind of sci-fi post-apocalyptic-ish.

Aaron (03:00)
⁓ yeah, she's really good.

Yeah.

Is this a romcom?

ooooh

Ade (03:16)
But not, it's not very sci-fi. yeah, I don't know. I, I'm enjoying it so far. It's, it's a little, it's, only four or five episodes in. It's a little slow so far. I think that's kind of the norm.

Aaron (03:28)
I think Better

Call Saul was also quite slow at the beginning. Like the first season was slow with that.

Ade (03:32)
Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like it took a couple seasons to really fall in love with Better Call Saul, so it may be the same for this show.

Aaron (03:42)
How many

seasons are there out right now?

Ade (03:45)
I mean, I'm up to date. think it's in its first season. just premiered last month, I think.

Aaron (03:48)
⁓

And it's doing weekly episodes.

Ade (03:55)
So check it out.

Aaron (03:57)
Are you a fan of the weekly episodes or do you prefer the full dump all at once? Is that the preferred? Is that the correct? ⁓

Ade (04:08)
I wasn't.

You're just trying to trick me into saying I like the full dump.

Aaron (04:14)
We got that. We got that sound bite.

Ade (04:16)
⁓

I think it's hard to go back to the weekly. I feel like I've been spoiled by the full, I was going to say the full release. That's not any better. it? Geez. What, do I call it?

Aaron (04:30)
I think naughty November has changed you. I don't recognize the man you've become.

Ade (04:33)
Yeah, my mom can't listen to any of these episodes anymore.

Yeah. I prefer binge watching or at least having the option to and the flexibility to maybe I'll watch it weekly, but at least it's there for when I want to. I think sometimes it's nice to be paced out. Like there are times where I'm watching something and I'm like, ⁓ I'd watch the next episode. And it's like one in the morning. I'm like, no, this is a bad idea. And weekly saves me for myself a little bit, but yeah.

Aaron (04:48)
Yeah.

Do you

think that if you found yourself around a water cooler still, you would prefer the weekly release schedule?

Ade (05:14)
Yeah, probably. do think sometimes the weekly release allows me to absorb it a little bit better and I'll read about it or I might talk to some people about it or listen to a podcast about it and probably absorb it a lot better than I would if I binge watched. I feel like there's some shows that I binge watched and loved, but then you asked me about them like six months later. I'm like, what happened? Like, or,

Aaron (05:40)
Yeah.

Ade (05:42)
even better like the next the second season comes out and I'm like I don't remember anything about this so

Aaron (05:47)
Yeah.

Man, do you remember how great the water cooler discussions were when Lost was still on the air?

Ade (05:55)
⁓ it was amazing that, I mean, that was the whole experience. Like I just, remember just being so excited to go to work the next day to talk to people about what happened on loss and then spending time on the internet, like reading theories and stuff and spending like a whole week deciphering, like, what did the hatch say? And like all the symbols and shit. Like, I mean, I, that was so much fun. Even game of Thrones. Like I remember talking about that a lot.

Aaron (06:07)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that was so good.

Ade (06:22)
and stuff like that. Yeah, those are some good experiences. We'll never have that again.

Aaron (06:26)
Yeah, probably not.

Game of Thrones really let us down.

Ade (06:31)
also fragmented to and what we're A billion different channels. Speaking of what we're watching, I don't know, that was a bad transition, but let's talk about, let's talk about Deck the Halls. Yeah. Let's talk about Deck the Halls from 2006, part of our horrible holidays month. This one is, I guess,

Aaron (06:34)
Yeah.

The worst movie segues.

Ade (06:55)
Last week's didn't touch on Christmas, touch on Hanukkah. was mostly a Thanksgiving holiday movie. This is a Christmas movie. Deck the Halls starring Matthew Broderick, Danny DeVito with supporting roles by Kristin Chenoweth and Kristin Davis and streaming on Hulu. This got a 6 % on Rotten Tomatoes.

Aaron (07:16)
Yeah.

Ade (07:17)
$51 million budget and $47 million at the box office. Definitely a commercial flop. had you heard of this movie? Was this on your radar? Had you seen it before?

Aaron (07:27)
No, I knew literally nothing about this.

Ade (07:30)
Yeah, same. ⁓

Aaron (07:32)
And considering

that I like Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick, I think that was saying something.

Ade (07:39)
Yeah, it seemed like this came in a flurry of studio, like holiday movie releases after the success of Elf and maybe some other stuff like they just kind of threw a bunch of these movies at the wall. It's such a generic movie in its premise and presentation that I'm sure you knew about it. It just went in one ear and out the other.

Aaron (08:06)
Yeah, that very well could be. I probably saw it sitting on a DVD rack in a Walmart ⁓ electronic section at some point in my life.

Ade (08:13)
Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, the cover even is like it. It says nothing about the movie, really, like watching the movie. You're like, OK, I understand how they came up with this cover, but it it just doesn't. It's not the sort of thing that's like at a appeal to you unless you're like, hey, it's my mission to watch a Christmas movie right now.

Aaron (08:36)
Yeah, spoiler alert, this movie is extremely bland and everything about it is bland.

Ade (08:42)
Yeah, even the background I try to do some research and figure out, but nope. All I got.

Aaron (08:49)
It's like

it never existed. just is.

Ade (08:51)
Yeah.

It just got released into the universe and everyone surrounding it just slowly just walked away. Uh, yeah. Uh, I did seem to kind of piece together that there were multiple rewrites, reshoots, some troubles on set, but not, nobody really wanted to talk about it. Um,

Aaron (08:57)
Yeah.

The Immaculate Production.

What kind

of troubles did you hear of?

Ade (09:19)
I mean, it was, it was all non-specific and maybe, ⁓ my research was faulty or AI was hallucinating, but it seemed like it was shot primarily in Vancouver, I believe during winter. And so it was cold. had problems lighting the set or the location, especially given that so much of this movie centers around.

Aaron (09:22)
Hmm.

Yeah.

Ade (09:46)
the Christmas lights of Danny Devita's house, but that's as specific as I got. mean, it could just be as simple as like Matthew Broderick was cold and that was, that was the trouble on the set. And yeah, it didn't seem like there were any, you know, inter actor problems or whatever, but, I did, I did wonder cause there are a few scenes where it seems like Danny Devita goes in for a kiss, on Kristin Chenoweth and she doesn't, she like kind of

Aaron (09:59)
Drama.

Ade (10:14)
gives him one of like a quick peck or like, you know, shows her cheek. And I was like, was that it? Did she see it? But now it seemed like she, I did see a quote by her that she enjoyed working with them. I don't know. I was looking for some gossip, but found none.

Aaron (10:28)
I didn't find anything about this movie. Like I read the Wikipedia page and I'm like, there's nothing interesting here at all.

Ade (10:36)
Yeah.

We can make some stuff up. that legal?

Aaron (10:42)
Probably, yeah.

Ade (10:43)
Yeah. ⁓ Why don't you share the premise of this movie?

Aaron (10:45)
think so.

So Matthew Broderick plays a character named Steve Finch. He's a dentist in a small town who

Ade (10:56)
No, he's an

optometrist. He looks at people's eyes. Eyes, not teeth. It doesn't matter actually.

Aaron (11:03)
He's an optometrist in a small town. It really doesn't matter.

Who loves Christmas? That's his character. He's in charge of like the Christmas festival in his town.

Ade (11:17)
you

Is he though? He keeps talking about it? Sorry to interrupt.

Aaron (11:25)
thought he was. I thought

that there were, so he said at some point in the movie that like so and so has got Thanksgiving, another person's got this holiday, Fourth of July, I do Christmas. So like I thought that he was in charge.

Ade (11:32)
Yeah.

Yeah,

no, that's my point. He talks about it. He talks about how he's in charge of it, but we never see him organize a thing in this winter festival that is a very elaborate in this town.

Aaron (11:50)
He

organized the carolers at the end, like during the festival he was trying to get them all together and going around caroling.

Ade (11:57)
But, but they just left. Like he started

practice and they just left. So he didn't actually do anything with the festival.

Aaron (12:02)
Well, he's losing

his grasp on the control of these things during the movie. We never see him control it because Danny DeVito is stealing it out from under him from the very beginning.

Ade (12:14)
but we see this whole winter festival that's like with elaborate productions, there's rides and yeah, and it didn't, it just seems like his whole character is like, I just like Christmas and like, I am declaring that I am the person, I'm the person in the town that likes Christmas.

Aaron (12:18)
that he had no part of.

Yeah, he's the Christmas guy.

Yeah, and so he gets these new neighbors, Buddy Hall, played by Danny DeVito and his wife Tia, played by Kristin Chenoweth and their twin daughters, and they move in and I don't know, it falls apart from there. Buddy, Buddy decides that he wants his

Ade (12:48)
Hahaha

You're like,

you're like two minutes into the movie, by the way.

Aaron (12:54)
Yeah, it's already falling apart. But he decides that he wants his house to be lit up so brightly that it can be seen from space. And he becomes obsessed with that feat. I don't know why. And then he keeps adding over the course of the movie, he's adding brighter and louder decorations to his house. And this creates a lot of tension between him and his next door neighbor, Steve Finch.

And it kind of escalates into this rivalry between them over who loves Christmas more. And it threatens to tear their families apart.

Ade (13:31)
Did you feel like this was a premise that could carry a whole movie?

Aaron (13:35)
No. No. This couldn't even carry like a commercial.

Ade (13:40)
Like a 30, yeah, 30 minutes sitcom episode. 24 minutes.

Aaron (13:44)
Yeah,

this was the dumbest plot. yeah, I have theories about this movie and we'll get into them, I guess. Not really a theory.

Ade (13:54)
Do you want to start with a theory or do you want to talk about the movie first?

Aaron (13:58)
My theory is that this is a ripoff of Christmas Vacation, but from the perspective of the uptight obnoxious neighbors. Julia Louis-Dreyfus's character.

Ade (14:07)
you

Yeah.

Aaron (14:10)
And it is as terrible as you would expect that to be.

Ade (14:15)
This movie did feel very familiar in the sense that I was like, have I have I seen four or five movies that are this exact same thing?

Aaron (14:26)
Yeah, probably.

Ade (14:27)
Yeah. Uh, yeah, the premise didn't make much sense to me. So Danny Devito, it's such, it's plot points get introduced in weird ways too. It was just like out of nowhere. So Danny Devito and his wife are cooking and then all of sudden his daughters just like, Hey, we found something cool and show, show them Google earth.

And they're like, you can see anybody's house from space except ours. And why? I like, they kept coming back to this. And I'm like, why can't he see his house from space?

Aaron (14:49)
Yeah.

I know, I didn't get that either. And then it turned to be this really specific thing of like light being seen from space, not like...

Ade (15:10)
Yeah, not his house.

Aaron (15:12)
Not like a camera photograph from a satellite of his house. He wanted light to be seen from a satellite coming from his house.

Ade (15:22)
I

I mean, this is revisited over and over in the movie. There are scenes towards the end of, you know, this team of scientists who are constantly monitoring whether or not his house can be seen from space. And it's like, yeah, that isn't it. know, Matthew Broderick's house, which is not bigger than his, if it is, it's not by much can be seen from space with no lights on it. And it's like,

Aaron (15:40)
lit up. Yeah. Yeah.

You

Ade (15:48)
Maybe it's just the cache needs to update or some shit like what?

Aaron (15:51)
Yeah, wait

six months until they upload the new...

Ade (15:54)
Yeah, the new imagery. Maybe the

house was just built, but no real time they're trying to figure out if this can be seen from space.

Aaron (16:01)
Yeah, and the scientist at NASA or whoever is an uncredited Cal Penn. Yeah, he didn't even want his name to be attached to this, it sounds like. Because it's not that small of a role. He has several speaking scenes ⁓ updating us about whether his house can be seen from space or not.

Ade (16:07)
Yeah, using a British accent.

Ha ha ha.

Yeah.

It was just so infuriating to be. I'm like, it's a glitch. You're just like not looking in the right place or else like, don't know. Like it doesn't, it just didn't make any sense. But even more so, like, why does he care? He's miserable in his job. So he's, he's constantly try to do these schemes or other get rich quick schemes. And yeah. And like,

Aaron (16:45)
Danny DeVito. Yeah,

he's this supposedly great salesman that could sell anything to anybody, but he self sabotages because he gets bored.

Ade (16:55)
Yeah, but it's not clear how this is going to bring him fame or fortune that like people can see his house from space in addition to all the other houses in the neighborhood.

Aaron (17:01)
You

Yeah, his justification is that he's always been looking for that thing that really excites him and this might be that thing. It's getting his house visible from space.

Ade (17:15)
Yeah, I don't know. What did you think of Danny DeVito in this movie?

Aaron (17:20)
I hated everyone in this movie. I hated everything about this movie. ⁓ So spoilers. However, I do think that Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito both just naturally have so much charm and charisma as as actors and people. But there were moments in this movie where I was just like, you know, like Matthew Broderick being Matthew Broderick, like having his tantrum or whatever.

Ade (17:22)
Hahaha

Yeah. ⁓

Yeah.

Aaron (17:49)
Like that's that's Matthew Broderick. That's not the writing or anything. And there were moments where I thought that like some of the main characters had likable or like I chuckled moments. But overall, it was complete trash. This whole movie. I hated it. I hated it so much. ⁓ I think that I have like I have three notes. ⁓

Ade (18:05)
Yeah.

Hahaha

Just like silent protests, you're like, I'm not even gonna write anything about this movie.

Aaron (18:24)
Yeah, so I watched this movie also with John last night and at the end I was like, I have nothing for this, but you have proof that I did the work. I watched it. I tried.

Ade (18:34)
You're gonna get fired like Danny DeVito's character.

Aaron (18:35)
I'm-

Yeah, I'm about to be let go from my own podcast.

Ade (18:42)
⁓ I thought Danny DeVito, he seems like an interesting guy in general. And I felt like he was the only one. I feel like he has generally this demeanor of like, life's awesome. I'm just going to enjoy whatever situation I'm in. And it just seemed like he, he just gave it his, his all his crazy Danny DeVito, like always sunny performance and just. Yeah.

Aaron (19:07)
Mm-hmm.

Ade (19:09)
just kind of went with it and everybody else was kind of like, huh? Like Matthew Broderick, I guess that's maybe kind of the, the role he was trying to play, but he just looked like he wasn't having fun and everyone else seemed, yeah.

Aaron (19:22)
Matthew Broderick?

Yeah, I thought that like his character came across as like almost mean-spirited. ⁓

Ade (19:31)
I wrote

down, he's an asshole. Like, like from the beginning, he's against Danny DeVito's character. And I'm just like, why? I don't understand just because he put up some Christmas lights and, by the way, okay, this is a bit of a tangent, but I'll come back to it.

Aaron (19:33)
Yeah.

Ade (19:47)
can you say cross-dressing still? is that PC?

Aaron (19:52)
I don't know.

Ade (19:53)
It was a major plot point in this movie or not major, but a minor plot point about the sheriff. Like pretty quickly they're like the, guys, like I have a secret. The sheriff is a cross dresser and I was like, ⁓ is that that feels a little uncomfortable. Is that actually the term?

Aaron (20:00)
⁓ yeah.

I have no idea.

Ade (20:11)
⁓ but anyway, I, I, I bring that up. Go ahead.

Aaron (20:13)
And Matthew, Matthew Broderick's

character keeps being like creeped out by that too, during the movie.

Ade (20:20)
Yeah,

there's no movie at all. If he wasn't bigoted against the sheriff wearing when wearing when when his underwear, he files, he goes to file a complaint against Danny DeVito's character and the sheriff bends over to grab a form and shows his underwear and Matthew Broderick just leaves the station. Like, and yeah, if he wasn't such so bigoted about it.

Aaron (20:25)
For wearing women's underwear.

Leaves. Panics and fleas.

Ade (20:48)
He could have filed a complaint and shut this whole thing down. So it's his own damn fault that, you know.

Aaron (20:49)
Yeah. Yeah.

Well, life's hard when you're stupid. If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough, I guess.

Ade (20:56)
Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, he's such a like unlikable character in this, but not in a interesting way. It's just, he's like so milk toast and whiny. And I mean, everybody around him seems like they like Danny DeVito's character and his family. Matthew Broderick seems like he doesn't like anybody. And he's just, and it's just weird things like he has his own plot at the tree farm. Like, can you do that?

Aaron (21:08)
Yeah.

Yeah.

that he's been

growing for 15 years. He's been growing the next 15 years worth of Christmas trees.

Ade (21:34)
Can you actually do that? like, how much does that cost? Yeah. Um, and yeah, I don't know. They're just, they're just all sorts of weird things that make no sense. Um, I do have a bunch of notes. uh, back to Danny DeVito, uh, having this epiphany, there's a scene where he

Aaron (21:37)
I don't know. It seems fake as hell.

Ade (22:00)
has this epiphany that he's going to start putting lights on his house because he throws out the trash and then he steps on a Christmas bulb. And then he pauses and looks at the bulb and looks at his house and looks up at space. And then he says, I'm going to light up my house so you can see it from space. And then there's like this pause. And then he says,

Aaron (22:15)
Yeah.

Ade (22:29)
It's, I'm not going to be invisible anymore. And it's just like, okay, we get it. We're like, we understood as soon as you picked up the light bulb, what your idea was, but like, just keeps going. Like there's, he just keeps telling the audience. Yeah. Like there's so many parts where it's like, this isn't going to make any more sense if you just keep adding exposition about. Yeah. And then like bouncing around a little bit.

Aaron (22:35)
Yeah.

hitting us over the head with it.

It's already stupid, we know that.

Ade (22:57)
⁓ towards the end, Danny DeVito's, you know, blinged out his house. And then Matthew Broderick buys a bunch of fireworks to, again, a bunch of expo, exposition, but I never understand what is the fireworks strategy.

Aaron (23:03)
Yeah.

I don't know, like, is he hoping that it will burn down the house or like blow out the lights or something or

Ade (23:22)
Why not just go

set fire to the house like

Aaron (23:25)
Like a man. Yeah, I don't know. I don't get so much of this movie. None of it makes sense. Like why is Danny DeVito obsessed with having his house seen from space? Why is the solution to that to put Christmas lights all over his house? Why does he need music if it's just about being seen? Why does he have this desire to be seen and not be invisible? Like is that a trauma of his from his past that we don't know about?

Ade (23:27)
Ha

Yeah,

they don't explain that at all.

Aaron (23:55)
Yeah, I hate it.

Ade (23:58)
There's a scene early on where Danny DeVito gets a reindeer and a sleigh. Again, how this helps in his mission to be seen from space, who knows? But it's this awkward scene where he's trying to get Matthew Broderick's family to take a picture on the sleigh.

Aaron (24:07)
I don't know.

Ade (24:15)
And then like all these extras from the neighborhood stand around and like clap. Like, why did, why did the neighbors care that he's going to take a picture on the sleigh?

Aaron (24:19)
Yeah.

I don't know. And the whole thing was they were at that time, they were taking their family like Christmas portrait in front of the fireplace and they come out, they come outside to see like what the commotion is. And it's this reindeer and sleigh and he's like, take your picture on the sleigh. It's, it'll be fine. And everybody like kind of peer pressures them into it. I'm like, okay, so take the picture on the sleigh and then go in and take the one by the fireplace that you wanted. Like, I don't understand the conflict.

Ade (24:43)
Yeah.

I

It's not a thing, yeah.

Aaron (24:52)
Yeah, you can take two pictures.

Ade (24:55)
There are lot of extras in this too that I felt like just like, don't know, they clearly have to have something to do, but it's not clear how they understand what's happening in the story and why they have a role in it. anyway, and then so after.

Aaron (25:08)
Yeah.

It's because these

two characters are the main characters in the universe and so everything revolves around them.

Ade (25:16)
Yeah, I hated the sleigh scene where the runaway sleigh scene. I mean, you could see it coming a mile away. Like the horse is going to panic. And then at some point, Matthew Broderick is going to fly in the sleigh and some kids going to be like, that's Santa. Like you just knew that was going to happen before it happened. And then they have the kids dad like stare. He had like a weird reaction shot to his kids saying that.

Aaron (25:23)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yup.

Ade (25:43)
that seemed to mirror my emotions of like what, what is happening? Yeah. ⁓ but did you, did you happen to like pay close attention to the stunt man and that like the stunt man had a mustache and Matthew Broderick was clean shaven. They like, he looked nothing like Matthew Broderick. He was like a six foot, you know, like chiseled stunt man. And then

Aaron (25:47)
What's happening? Yeah.

No.

They didn't even try.

Hahaha

That makes perfect

sense for this movie, though.

Ade (26:13)
And then really, really bad CGI. was like the worst.

Aaron (26:16)
Yeah.

The only part in the movie that I laughed at was after the the sleigh scene where it falls through the pond and he gets soaked and he wakes up to being naked in a sleeping bag that's also zipped into Danny DeVito's sleeping bag and they're both in there naked and he was like, what is happening?

Ade (26:26)
Yeah, I did think that was funny.

He's like, why am I naked? And then he explains, you

had hypothermia and then he looks over, why are you naked?

Aaron (26:45)
Yeah, and he was and didn't he say something like I've done this a dozen times or something. Yeah, that was the only part of the movie that I laughed at.

Ade (26:49)
Yeah, yeah, shh. Like, dress the column down.

Yeah, mean, yeah. Waking up naked next to a naked Danny DeVito, think is probably stuff of nightmares.

Aaron (27:04)
That's

delightful for... Oh. Yeah.

Ade (27:07)
⁓ That's a good dream for you.

I mean, yeah, I guess it depends. I'm not going to, I'm not going to yuck your yum. I, I thought it was a little funny. I mean, to be clear, I didn't laugh out loud, maybe at all during this movie, but, the, there's a scene where Matthew Broadwick is trying to back up his car and

Aaron (27:14)
to each to each their own.

Ade (27:32)
This guy's like, hold my beer. Let me back it up. Clearly drunk. Yeah. Would you trust that guy with your car? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I did think that was a little bit funny and how bad the car like got beaten up, but.

Aaron (27:35)
Yeah, I think he literally says, hold my beer.

No, I don't know why he trusted him to guide him.

It completely ripped the doors off both sides.

Ade (27:55)
Yeah. Um, and then, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So many, yeah. So many gags were just, you know, tele telegraphed ahead of time. Like this is what's, this is what's going to happen. So yeah. And then, I mean, one of the things that didn't really make sense is Danny DeVito gives Matthew Broderick a new car, which turns out to be a

Aaron (27:59)
Which was obvious that's what was going to happen from the moment you saw the gag, like, and it took way too long to get the payoff.

Yeah.

Ade (28:25)
farce and why did why did Matthew Frederick think I mean your neighbor gives you a new brand new car I don't think there's any situation where I'm gonna be like yeah okay I'll take it yeah

Aaron (28:26)
Yeah.

Yeah.

This seems on the up and up.

And then he finds out that it's all a farce that Danny DeVito forged his signature and he's going to have to pay for the car. And he agrees to this on the context of they speed race each other on ice skates and whoever wins. Wins and like if if Broderick wins, he doesn't have to buy the car and if DeVito wins, he does have like what?

Why would you agree to that? Just call the police. is fraud.

Ade (29:08)
Yeah, seems like, yeah, I mean,

it doesn't seem like you could buy a car that way, to fake, like to fake somebody's and like.

Aaron (29:21)
And also

you have to pay for it by Wednesday, by the end of the- by noon the next day.

Ade (29:26)
Yeah, I mean, and especially working at the dealership, you're, I mean, by the way, he says something later about he'll get his job back. Like, no, you just, you commit like probably the worst fraud possible. Yeah, I don't know. was just, yeah, you can't, you can't buy cars that way. ⁓

Aaron (29:36)
In what world?

Yeah.

And also

we're supposed to believe that Danny DeVito is somehow an accomplished ice speed skater.

Ade (29:56)
No, was Matthew Broderick that was.

Aaron (29:58)
I know, but he got beaten by Danny DeVito.

Ade (30:01)
Well,

yeah, I mean, I did have a note. Danny DeVito should have won that race because everybody cheated in that race. Like, ⁓ the mayor. mean, I don't know. He was tripping people. Matthew Broderick supposedly is like, agreed to this bet because he was a championship speed skater, but he spends half the race going in the wrong direction. And I'm like, you can't just do that in a race.

Aaron (30:08)
Yeah.

He, yeah.

He went the wrong direction. The other

people like slingshot at each other to get going faster.

Ade (30:28)
Yes, think Danny DeVito should have won by default.

Aaron (30:31)
He did win, he? he, Gros... He, despite everyone cheating, nobody could hold up to Danny DeVito's speed on ice skates.

Ade (30:33)
I mean, he did, but I'm just saying.

I mean, it was such a cheesy scene.

I mean, this was like

such a stupid scene. By the way, so Danny DeVito gets fired because he gets called into the office and his manager's like, your numbers are way down. How long has Danny DeVito worked there? He started December 3rd or 4th. I don't know. Like, you know, we see the advent calendar throughout the movie. He's worked there maximum three weeks. Like, I don't think it's even Christmas yet. He's worked there maybe two weeks. Like,

Aaron (30:59)
Yeah.

Yeah.

And he's

already sold a car to the owner of the dealership. Like he's demonstrated that he could sell anything to anybody's.

Ade (31:14)
Yeah,

I mean, I guess your numbers are down, meaning like they're down from last week, but would you get fired if you... ⁓

Aaron (31:19)
Yeah, you didn't

sell a car to the owner today, so your numbers are down.

Ade (31:26)
Yeah, just so much stuff doesn't make sense.

Aaron (31:28)
Yeah. Also, who cuts down a Christmas tree with an axe?

Ade (31:32)
I don't know. Like it's an old timey Christmas thing. don't know. It's tradition.

Aaron (31:37)
Like I could see if you're cutting down a like 20 foot tall Christmas tree that you can see the trunk, but from a Christmas tree farm where you have to get on your hands and knees to even see the trunk, how are you swinging an ax at that thing?

Ade (31:49)
Yeah.

I've never chopped down at Christmas tree though to be honest

Aaron (31:55)
Very bougie, have you?

Ade (31:56)
heavier.

Aaron (31:58)
Yeah. Yeah.

Ade (31:59)
Really?

Aaron (32:01)
In high school. We don't do live Christmas trees anymore because Amanda's allergic. I would prefer real Christmas trees, but they're also a huge hassle.

Ade (32:14)
Yeah, they seem like a pain in ass.

Aaron (32:16)
You

gotta chop him down with an axe and everything. That's true.

Ade (32:19)
They're a fire hazard, as you see in this

movie. Why do their wives leave them so easily?

Aaron (32:23)
Yeah.

I don't know, and why are their wives like in love with each other and insistent that they work out their issues and like get along with each other?

Ade (32:35)
they each leave their respective husbands go stay at a motel with each other. Yeah. And then, and then the, I guess, resolution of the movie or one of them is they, they go outside and they're like, Hey, and there's this path of lights leading a path all the way from the motel through the town center all the way back to their houses. Like,

Aaron (32:39)
The same motel.

HAAA-

Yeah.

They made

an uncrossable path of Christmas lights through the middle of town from a motel to their own house.

Ade (33:08)
I mean, first of all, that would be way more lights than like, how do you run power to all that? And then like, how dumb are these characters that they're just like, it's like falling bread crumbs to the forest, but it's just like Christmas lights. They're Christmas lights everywhere. Like why these lights?

Aaron (33:12)
Yeah.

Yeah.

It would have taken him a month to set up this this light show from one side of town to the other.

Ade (33:33)
It was so stupid. Broderick wins over his wife because he made food from her cookbook. This whole feast. I mean, I don't know, spent all day on that at least. And then Danny DeVito wins back his wife because he max out their credit cards.

Aaron (33:38)
Yeah.

Ade (33:53)
to buy back this family heirloom from the pawn shop. mean, that's what he says. he maxed out their credit cards. So is that the moral of the story?

Aaron (33:54)
I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's grounds for divorce. I think

legally.

Ade (34:07)
Yeah, I mean, it seems like the moral of his his redemption is maximize, you know, maximize our debt. then and then the moral of the story for Matthew Broderick's family is like, don't plan Christmas activities. Just just go with the flow.

Aaron (34:09)
You

Yeah, I hated this movie. I wrote several points in my notes that I hate this movie in all caps.

Ade (34:27)
Ha

Yeah. ⁓

you want to talk about the who's your daddy scene.

Aaron (34:36)
my God. I almost shut it off. I almost shut the movie off at this point.

Ade (34:39)
I mean,

it made no sense for the characters and also it was just gross.

Aaron (34:45)
No.

So Alia Shawkat plays Matthew Broderick's daughter and there's a pair of twins. I don't remember their names, but they play Danny DeVito's daughters and they're all supposed to be like 15 or 16.

Ade (34:51)
Yeah.

How old were the twins in real life, you think?

Aaron (35:02)
I have no idea. Good luck it out.

Ade (35:03)
I mean,

yeah, we could. I bet they were like 25. But anyway, yeah, I keep.

Aaron (35:08)
They seemed older. They seemed

older than Alia Shawkat's two at the time, to me anyway. I didn't think they seemed age appropriate. But yeah, they decide they're gonna get together with each other, the three of them, to do some sort of performance at the Christmas festival. And what the performance is, is like the raunchiest...

Ade (35:16)
Yeah.

Aaron (35:34)
like Christmas burlesque show about who's your daddy. And they have their backs turned to the crowd for it's the it's the most inappropriate show for like a for a town's festival. And they have their backs turned in these little skirts and they're singing Who's Your Daddy and Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick are in the crowd like cat.

Ade (35:38)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Aaron (36:00)
calling their own daughters, they don't realize that it's their daughters and.

Ade (36:04)
And

the only ones acting this way too. It's like the town of Tomitris is just like out of nowhere in the middle of the day.

Aaron (36:07)
Yeah, nobody else was.

Yeah, who's your daddy?

Yeah, and then they turn it around and they realize it's their daughters to everyone's horror. Mine especially.

Ade (36:24)
The twins are 22.

Aaron (36:26)
Yeah, how old was Ali Ashar Katniss?

You didn't do all the work required.

Ade (36:31)
She was five years younger, so.

Aaron (36:35)
Yeah, she seemed age appropriate for her character. They didn't. They were. They were fully women. ⁓

Ade (36:37)
Yeah.

Yeah, I mean.

Can we cut that? I feel uncomfortable.

Aaron (36:51)
I mean, they were, they were 20 something years old, dancing with a minor.

Ade (36:54)
yeah. I mean,

it was such a, like, and that, like what's, what's the word I'm looking for? like the scene just came out of nowhere and like, it was just like, they're like, Hey, we have the, is one joke. Let's set up five minutes of the movie to tell this one joke. And the joke didn't fall in line with anything else in the rest of the movie. was just, it was just dumb. ⁓ yeah.

Aaron (37:03)
Yeah.

and it was super creepy.

Ade (37:18)
Fred Armisen is wasted in this movie. Like for such a good comedic actor, he just played this German guy who likes to exercise and had like three or four lines. I'm like, why are you like when I first saw him, I'm like, hopefully there's a payoff, but no.

Aaron (37:20)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Jorge Garcia is also in this movie, Hurley from Lost, also wasted.

Ade (37:38)
Yeah,

this was like a peak lost popularity.

Aaron (37:43)
Yeah, 2006. Also like peak Ali Ashok hat with Arrested Development.

Ade (37:45)
Yeah. ⁓

Yeah, this was after I think, Rusted Development, season three was in 2006. And

Aaron (37:54)
It just ended.

Ade (37:57)
is right before Danny DeVito got on Always Sunny.

Aaron (38:00)
Yeah. So what happened? Why did they all agree to this?

Ade (38:01)
⁓

Yeah, I don't know. some other notes.

I wrote down, that's not how power works. He steals his power. Like he keeps pulling extension cords and then he was like, I'm going to give it back to you. I don't know.

Aaron (38:12)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, next

month you can sap off my power. I don't know. The whole movie is so stupid.

Ade (38:26)
Also, wrote down flip phone lights weren't that bright.

Aaron (38:30)
Yeah, you can see him from space.

Ade (38:33)
I don't know. We don't even need to explain context there. It was just dumb. Get the kids therapy, not Christmas.

It starts out where the sun is depressed and like is having a midlife crisis and he's 10, but they don't really come back to it. He just seems fine by the end. don't know.

Aaron (38:47)
Yeah

Yeah, John said that he kind of liked that a little at the beginning that he thought it seemed like this, you know, morbid teenager like Wednesday Adams or something. it wasn't as charming or funny or interesting. just kind of was sad.

Ade (39:01)
Yeah.

Yeah, I mean it was. ⁓

Aaron (39:09)
The whole movie

just felt like sad and angry, especially Matthew Broderick's family. Like to me, if if Danny DeVito and his family with their crazy lights and like they seemed kind of fun, like they were still fucked up, but they were interesting. Like, I want to see that movie. Give me the movie in their house and not the crotchety old.

Ade (39:13)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Aaron (39:34)
neighbor next door that like hates his life and hates his family and everything else. Like if that's, if this is the parallel of Christmas vacation, I just want to watch Christmas vacation.

Ade (39:37)
Yeah.

Yeah, everybody liked Danny DeVito's character and Danny DeVito's family except Matthew Broderick. I mean, even

Aaron (39:49)
Yeah, whole town

embraced him and they were like, you're in charge of Christmas now. And Matthew Broderick was like, could not accept it.

Ade (39:55)
Yeah.

Even Matthew Braddock's family liked Danny's family better.

Aaron (40:03)
They insisted that he get along with Danny DeVita so that they could all be a family again.

Ade (40:09)
Yeah, I don't know what the, I don't know what this movie was trying to say.

Aaron (40:13)
I don't either. was supposed to be like he was a Scrooge and had his redemption at the end, but I didn't feel like it was ever that.

Ade (40:21)
It seems like it was written by somebody that hates Christmas light people. Like I don't even know that's like a term, but like, what do you think of Christmas light people?

Aaron (40:31)
I think it's fine. Like I don't do it myself, but I like when other people put the effort in. It's festive.

Ade (40:38)
Yeah, I think it's awesome. mean, I think,

yeah, and like, I appreciate somebody who'd put that much energy into like creating this spectacle. I mean, if it was like shining right in my eyes at night, you know, maybe I would say something, but I would also just wear a sleep mask and, know.

Aaron (40:47)
Yeah.

Yeah, like the issue is he's playing like really loud music all all night every night. And it's like, well, that's a clear violation of the law. Just call the cops.

Ade (41:05)
Yeah, I'm sure there are no noise ordinances

that you could just be like, don't blast music at four in the morning. But other than that, like, that's fine.

Aaron (41:12)
Yeah.

Yeah, I hated this movie.

Ade (41:18)
Yeah. I did not like it. I did not hate it as much as you did. I don't think,

Aaron (41:23)
What did you like about it? Was there anything that you did like? ⁓

Ade (41:27)
No, no, I didn't like this movie.

I'm just saying it didn't. I, I was mostly bored and maybe I enjoyed enough of like, maybe I had some of like seeing Danny DeVito's energy and joy come through that like kind of seeped into me. It didn't make me laugh or enjoy the story or anything like that, but

Aaron (41:35)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Ade (41:53)
I didn't, I mean, to compare it against our last movie, I was just mad at Jack and Jill. Like I was offended. And I was just like, these jokes are so dumb. This was just even like, don't, I don't know. I don't know. guess. Yeah. That's what I was starting to say. Like, I don't know where there were jokes, but I mean, they, clearly tried to make some jokes, but.

Aaron (42:09)
I don't think there were jokes in this movie. Like I don't.

Yeah.

They tried, but I don't know what we were supposed to laugh at. I didn't laugh or chuckle really a single time other than the sleeping bag scene. And I was like, I don't know what the jokes are.

Ade (42:27)
Yeah.

I think they were also trying to make it like really kind of sweet and sentimental and like the kind of the cheesy hallmark like, it's really about just enjoying Christmas with family, not doing all the Christmas rituals. And I was just like, I mean, I had that I didn't feel any emotion around that.

Aaron (42:42)
Yeah.

John did say that it seemed like a Hallmark movie. It really did, but not, it was bad. I don't even think Hallmark movies are this bad. This released in theaters too. This wasn't straight to DVD or anything.

Ade (43:03)
Well, yeah.

And I mean, big budget, was $50 million budget, so.

Aaron (43:14)
Yeah, it was horrible. Like Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick were the only things that were at all interesting about this movie just because of who they are. And that wasn't enough. there were huge chunks of this movie where I didn't write any notes down because there was nothing to write. was just like, it was just happening. And I'm like...

Ade (43:15)
They put, yeah.

Yeah.

Aaron (43:41)
What's the payoff going to be for any of this or is there going to be any part where that I enjoy or laugh at or that's interesting or that I feel should even be worth discussing and there was nothing in this movie though. It was just stupid.

Ade (43:55)
yeah, I agree. Well, what's your alt pic for this movie?

Aaron (43:59)
I picked Christmas Vacation because it's the same story just from the other perspective and it's much funnier and way better and everybody likes it. It's maybe too popular for this podcast as an alt pick, but it is literally the same story from the other perspective.

Ade (44:07)
Yeah.

What do you, ⁓ how do you feel about Christmas movies in general? Do you like Christmas movies?

Aaron (44:22)
Yeah, I think that I do.

At Christmas time. Not any other time of the year, though.

Ade (44:27)
Wiser.

Aaron (44:28)
I don't know. think that like, you've got to be in the right mood for it. And when it's summertime outside, I'm not really thinking about Christmas time stuff.

Ade (44:40)
Yeah. See, I kind of have a problem, I think, with Christmas movies. like, if I can only enjoy this movie these three, you know, three or four weeks out of the year, then it's probably just a shitty movie. Like, I feel like Die Hard or Elf, like I could enjoy any time of the year. Like Elf is a funny movie and like heartwarming and interesting and like, you know, you slap that on July 7th. I'm like, yep.

Aaron (44:54)
Thanks.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a modern classic for sure. Yeah, I would agree, but like part of it too is just a tradition. Like we always watch Christmas vacation on Christmas. ⁓ So like we don't watch it other times of the year, but I would. It's just, that's just part of our Christmas tradition. like that's why, that's what I like. I watch Die Hard around Christmas. I watch Christmas vacation around Christmas just because that's

Ade (45:13)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean that makes sense.

Aaron (45:39)
kind of what we just do. It's tradition. So like I don't watch, I would watch them other times of year, but I generally save them for Christmas time.

Ade (45:41)
Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I-

Yeah, like I mostly watch horror movies in the month of October. I certainly watch horror movies other months of the year, but maybe not as many. So yeah, I could see it that way, but yeah, I don't. If there's a movie that I can only enjoy Christmas, then I think Christmas is a good excuse to slap on, you know, Home Alone or some of the classics like that. It's a wonderful life.

Aaron (45:51)
same.

Yeah.

I've never seen that by the way. No.

Ade (46:13)
What? You've never seen it's a wonderful life. That's probably

the best Christmas movie ever made.

Aaron (46:19)
Is it better than ELF?

Ade (46:21)
I mean, Elf is probably the best one made since, you know, in the modern era.

Aaron (46:28)
So it's one, two, it's a wonderful life and an elf for you.

Ade (46:32)
I I haven't sat down to make a definitive ranking, but yeah, I'll set the gauntlet right now. It's Wonderful Live number one, Elf number two, Die Hard number three.

Aaron (46:40)
But it's black and white. Those aren't, you can't. Nobody watches black and white movies.

Ade (46:42)
hahahaha

I mean, you've already called me pretentious enough times on this. Fine, I'll just own it. Black and white movie number one on my list.

Aaron (46:50)
You

Yeah.

Ade (46:59)
I'll do a little bit more homework before our next episode and find a definitive ranking.

Aaron (47:04)
I did watch Arsenic and Old Lace for Halloween. Did we talk about this on the podcast? ⁓ it's a black and white. It's an old Cary Grant movie. It's really good.

Ade (47:09)
We did not.

I have not seen that.

That's a horror movie?

Aaron (47:18)
No, it takes place on Halloween though and there's some like weirdness to it. It's a old Frank Capra movie.

Ade (47:21)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Cool beans. Well, anything else you want to say about Deck the Halls?

Aaron (47:31)
No,

I never want to think about this stupid movie ever again.

Ade (47:35)
What do think about the title? Do you appreciate the title? The pun. Danny DeVito is, is, ⁓ buddy hall. So deck the halls is like hit. I guess so. Yeah.

Aaron (47:38)
No.

call.

You're going to deck the whole family. You're going to deck all the halls.

Did I have a quote written down here? The twin girls were reading a book and their mom said, what do you, what are you girls reading? And they said, Emily Dickinson, Madison gave it to us. It's really good. And the other one said, yeah, and it's not giving me a headache or anything. And then they said, maybe I should go to law school or something.

Ade (48:10)
Ha

Aaron (48:11)
Because you

read an Emily Dickinson book. And it didn't even give him a headache. Yeah, I guess so. I think they were both sitting on the bed reading the same book.

Ade (48:14)
Are they, were they reading it together?

Yeah, I guess.

I was trying to make a joke about, I guess the dumb blonde stereotype or something. don't know. Yeah. Well.

Aaron (48:28)
I guess so. It just

felt mean-spirited the whole movie. I hated it.

Ade (48:34)
That's

a good note to end on. ⁓

Aaron (48:38)
You

Ade (48:42)
Thanks for sharing what you really think about this movie. ⁓ If you have a definitive best Christmas movie list, send it to the worst movie podcast at gmail.com. Subscribe to us on Apple or Spotify. If you enjoyed this episode and tune in, we've got some more Christmas movies coming up. I'm Ade

Aaron (48:44)
You're welcome.

I'm Aaron. Thanks for listening to the Worst Movie Podcast.