Doom (The One Where The Rock Goes all WWE on Karl Urban)

This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Doom (2005) — an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes adaptation of one of the most influential video games ever made, starring Dwayne Johnson and Karl Urban as space marines fighting hell beasts on Mars. For a franchise built entirely on relentless carnage, the film is surprisingly short on actual monster killing and long on standing around in corridors talking. Not bad enough to be fun, just bad enough to be boring.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello and welcome to the worst movie podcast. I'm Ade.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

And I'm Aaron, and this is a podcast where we watch the worst movies ever made in the hopes of finding a hidden gem.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Enjoy. So what are you watching these days?

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Uh I have been watching the Ken Burns jazz series.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Who's that again? I'm just kidding. I thought you uh just watched that, didn't you say? Like a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

I mean, I've watched a bunch. I watched the American Revolution one, I watched the Civil War one, I'm watching Jazz now. I think I've I've started and not finished a few in there. There was a Lewis and Clark one I watched a little bit of, but yeah, I've been binging. Yeah. It's nice because when I'm at work, I can just put an earbud in and listen because I mean it's not anything that you have to watch. So it's all just like still images of like Louis Armstrong. By the way, I'm like eight episodes into this jazz documentary. Yeah. And they keep calling him Louis Armstrong. And I'm like, I always thought it was Louis, but like one or two people in the documentary have also called him Louis. And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck it is now. What do you what do you call him?

SPEAKER_01 1:26

I mean, I am not an expert at all, so I have no idea. I've always said Louis. I don't think I've heard anybody call him Louis Armstrong. I feel like if I said Louis Armstrong to somebody, they'd make fun of me.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

I know it feels wrong. I mean, maybe they explain it in a later episode why they're calling him Lewis, but I always thought it was Louie.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

You'd think that Ken would be like heaps between takes.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

Just so you know, expert person that I brought on camera is maybe make sure at the top why uh explain why you're calling him Lewis. Uh it's really good though. Yeah. It's uh it's made me want to listen to a bunch of jazz music.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

I probably won't watch it anytime soon, to be honest. I was gonna pretend, but not worth it. I I like jazz. I mean, I'll listen to jazz, but I gotta watch it. How how long is the documentary? Is it you're on episode eight?

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Yeah, it's a it's a long one. I don't know. They're all like at least an hour, it seems like. I'm not like paying attention because I'm working, it's just going from one episode to the next. But yeah, they're they're long boys. What uh what have you been watching?

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Well, I feel like I should shout out F1 since we're both uh on the Mercedes bandwagon here. Yeah. We're recording this on F1 opening weekend.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

I maintain that I am and always have been uh George Russell's number one fan.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

So I'm rooting for Kimming Antonelli at this point.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

You would.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Yes, I would, because he's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

I'm just kidding. I like Kimmy.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Did you watch any Drive to Survive? No. You've stopped watching it, haven't you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Yeah, I pretty much uh I think I watched maybe the first two episodes, two or three episodes of last season, and then I haven't watched any of this one.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

So much fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

I'm living it as it happens. I don't need to relive it.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Well, I mean, it's fun to live it as it happens, and it's fun to relive it and see all the all the background that we don't see. Yeah, all the like behind the scenes conversations, and and I know it's some of it's edited for dramatic, you know, license and all that stuff, but it's still fun.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yeah, I just needed to give a glib excuse for why I'm not watching it. I just I've lost interest in the in the mini-series.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

I think if for those who haven't watched Drive to Survive, this season is probably a good one to watch because there's so many rookies, so you get to start a bunch of storylines. It's not like you're just jumping in the middle. Yeah. This uh season of F1, like the actual live season, is gonna be a pretty interesting one, I think, with all the regulation changes. So basically the cars are all brand new uh technology. So first race was exciting. Yeah, at least the first half of it, but um I kinda kinda settled down halfway through.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

I think uh teams are gonna figure out different strategies for like the mid-race and the late race, because it was it was insane the first 15 or 20 laps and then kind of settled into the two best teams and then everyone else.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

It was uh really bugging Kelly and I because the announcer what's his name that you guys hate? Jakes. Yeah. Uh he was he just kept saying stuff about George's title shot, and it's like it's one race in now. 24 races, or do we have more than 24 races this year? I don't know. Yeah. He was just like kept talking over and over about how, like, yeah, this is his chance to win the title.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

And yeah, we've barely even seen him drive this car.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Yeah, McLaren just got their engine, so they're they're gonna they're gonna figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Max is went from 20th place to fifth place. I'm pretty sure he's he's got a few things to say before the years out, too.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Yeah, I would imagine so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

He's a beast. Speaking of beasts, see, like how I set up that uh that's the segue. Uh-huh. Uh today's movie is Doom from 2005, uh, starring Carl Urban, Rosman Pike, and Dwayne The Rock Johnson. 18% on Rotten Tomatoes, 60 million box office, uh, and 60 million budget. So break-even. I'm guessing it lost a little bit. Yeah. Uh, because that doesn't include marketing costs and stuff like that. Based on the very popular video game, what uh what's your relationship with Doom the video game?

SPEAKER_00 5:45

I don't really have one. I've played it. Yeah. I played more Quake, I think, than Doom in those days. So you're probably a little too young for Doom. Yeah, certainly like the original Doom. That was like what, late 80s, early 90s? When was that?

SPEAKER_01 5:59

It was the uh that's a good question. I I want to say it's um mid-early nineties.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

I guess it's 93.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Oh, so close. You were almost there. Yeah, I remember Doom coming out very well. I mean, I I played Castle Wolfenstein on my 386 PC, and then when Doom came out, it was just like Pentium 2, Pentium 1. Uh yeah, Pentium 1. Yeah, it may have even been like a 586 or something. Yeah, I'd have to I've done I have to look at the chronology of the of the tech. But uh yeah, I'm pretty sure I pirated this game. Um I can't imagine that I paid for it. But uh yeah, and I feel like I remember a bunch of discs, like you know, floppy drives that I was inserting to get this installed and set up.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

But uh packaging for games back then was so much better than it is now. You got like a a manual with like instructions how to play and box art and now it's just a what I have no idea what you're talking about because I pirated it. So it's you didn't buy any games back in those days.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

I mean, I was a broke high school student. I am pretty sure I spent no money on software until I even like console games as an adult.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Did you have a console?

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Uh hand me down consoles. Um maybe I bought that's actually a good question. When's a when did I buy my first video game with my own money?

SPEAKER_00 7:28

I didn't know the first one I bought. Which one which one was it? I think it was called Soldier of Fortune. And I had to get my mom to go with me to approve it because it was a mature game, because it was one of the first games that allowed you to like shoot limbs off people. It was like extra gory for the time. Yeah. Uh that was 2000 that it came out. Played that game. Uh it was not a great game. I I really just wanted it because it was so gory.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Yeah, I I really don't remember spending money on video games at all. Like the we had we got an Atari that was hand-me-down. Uh, we got a Nintendo that was hand-me down. I'm pretty sure our Super Nintendo was a hand-me-down, and like each time, you know, it'd come with a bunch of games.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Maybe if I bought a game, it would have been like, you know, a used game from GameStop or something like that. Uh I don't remember buying new games till I I was an adult.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Do you remember the first CD or cassette type you bought with your own money?

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I don't know if it was with my own money, but uh I remember getting a Lionel Ritchie cassette and probably one of the Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Do you remember yours? Yeah, mine was Cheshire Cat from Blink 182.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Uh that 1995. I definitely didn't buy it in ninety-five, but yeah. I remember going to uh what was it, FYE in the mall or whatever back in those days. I don't remember that. I don't know if it's still around, but yeah, that was the first one I bought with my own money.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Uh anyway, back to back to Doom. I don't know why we're talking about Blink 192. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Uh well the first first game got me thinking about first C D.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Uh Yeah, I mean Doom was Doom was huge for me. And uh I mean this was I'm sure well beyond beyond before your time, but were you a big like fan of John Carmack or anything like that? Or do you know what his dot plan files were?

SPEAKER_00 9:39

No. I mean he that was before my times for for sure. Yeah. So I know of him just because he's kind of legendary, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

So he uh do you know what a dot plan file is? Nope. It is on Unix systems, basically like your status, essentially, like you could uh you could finger somebody. You heard that expression? Nope. I mean uh in this context. Uh basically you could like essentially it was a command, a Unix command to query somebody's status to see if they were online, and then it would show like you would have a file in your home directory called dot plan and you could put anything in it. And when you fingered somebody, it would dump out their dot plan file. And Carmac would like essentially blog. This was well before anybody used the term blog, would update his dot plan file every day with like what he was working on and just thoughts about tech and you know. Uh and so it was just a thing where like you literally just had to like finger Carmac at uh you know whatever server to like read his blog for the day. And uh yeah, I was I mean, I don't know. I was like a Unix geek in the 90s and uh It's a Unix system, I know this. And what's that from? Jurassic Park. Oh do you remember that?

SPEAKER_00 10:59

I haven't seen Jurassic Park in a while, but uh I was gonna ask you if Unix was anything like uh in real life like it was in Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Yeah, I don't remember that in enough, that part of it enough to be. Uh I mean I I I really do need to re-watch it. It's it's probably been 15 plus years since I've watched Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

I had a conversation with somebody who didn't realize that they used CG in Jurassic Park. They thought it was all practical effects, and I was like, wow. Like, that's impressive. Uh, because that movie does age really well because they were were so smart with the way they use CG, but yeah, anyway. Yeah. Sorry, we're now we're talking about Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Uh well, yeah, I just wanted to geek out on John Carmack. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

I played Commander Keen that he made. Yeah.

unknown 11:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

And I played one of the Wolfensteins, but not 3D.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Yeah, they've I mean they're still making them, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. Car Carmack was I mean, Carmack was my idol. He was he was awesome. He was probably for a long time, you know, one of the my heroes in the tech world. Not anymore. Well, I just haven't followed him as closely, and I don't know. I I mean I I my career took a different path path, I guess. Like I didn't I couldn't follow as closely in his footsteps. Uh those are some yeah, that's that's just not my my aptitude didn't line up with his, so uh I just went in a different direction. But anyway, it software was the thing, Carmac was the thing, like in certain circles, like he was I mean, he was number one OG. Uh so Doom was awesome, Quake was awesome, played a bunch of Quake in college. Um Quake 3. I think it's hard to understate how influential those games were on the industry and just how like head and shoulders above other games they were. And obviously, like they created the Quake engine to power a lot of games, and it was like of the A-list games, it was like half like for a while, any any game that was worth anything was using a Quake engine, and then yeah, Unreal Tournament came along and was a solid competitor, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

I loved Unreal Tournament, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Yeah, so for how important Doom was to the gaming culture, uh this movie how we ended up here in 2005 with uh with the rock headlighting. Um what do you think of the movie?

SPEAKER_00 13:24

It was a movie, it was like The Rock was bad. Yeah. Uh in this. Uh yeah, I don't know. It was there was not much plot. It was not as exciting as I thought it would be. I thought that there would be a lot more killing stuff, but it was a lot of uh standing around in labs talking. Yeah. Uh so yeah, it was fine. I thought it was gonna be more action-y than it was. It was gory, which I expected it to be. The plot, the dialogue was bad. But it was it was fine. Like it was one of those movies that if you had it on in the background, I'd be like, okay, like it's fine. I'm not gonna I don't need to watch every second of it. Uh I should say that I I just came from watching it right now. I took no notes. I I watched it right before we started. So yeah, cramming for the game. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Uh did you do you know if you happen to watch the rated unrated version or the theatrical version?

SPEAKER_00 14:25

I don't know, actually. Why? It's uh I just I saw two decisions when I went to watch it. So I was like, did you watch it on Prime or on Amazon? Uh no, I rented it.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Was it on Prime?

SPEAKER_00 14:37

It's not on Prime. I paid to rent it. I don't know what it's called when it's not free. Is it just Amazon? Uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

It's just uh rental. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

You rented it on Prime though, right? But Prime's is Prime only the free stuff?

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Prime's the free the free stuff. Well, I mean you you have to pay for Prime. I rent I did I did not rent it on Amazon. I rented it on Dango.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Oh, I see. Maybe uh I don't know. I'm trying to look up my rental.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Yeah. I watched the unrated version because I was it was like a few extra minutes. It was I was really torn. It was the same price, and I was like, the theatrical version is shorter. Do I actually want to watch more of this shitty movie?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

I did watch the unrated one as well.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Uh I didn't know there was a I couldn't there wasn't a scene that I was like, oh, that was so gory that you could you couldn't put that in theaters.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

So yeah, there was a scene in the beginning where there was like a naked woman, but she wasn't you didn't see anything. So maybe it's just the gore. Because there was a lot of gore. Um yeah. Also, they said fuck a lot. I felt like I felt like uh The Rock was really leaning into the fucks. And I don't remember, was he supposed to be like clean back in those days, his his wrestling persona? And so him saying fuck was like, oh cool. I never I never watched uh wrestling.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

I've never really been into wrestling, so I I've never seen him either. Yeah, so I don't really know what uh there there were a few scenes where it seemed like I was like, oh, are they trying to make this like a wrestling match? Like uh especially the the final like showdown between him and Carl Erdon and yeah, and uh yeah, some other moves that he did when he was fighting. I was like, are they trying to nod to that?

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Maybe I think so. This was one of his first movies, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 16:21

He had been in some things before this, but um, I mean it was certainly early in his career. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

What's your he was not great?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

What do you think about uh Mr. Johnson overall?

SPEAKER_00 16:35

I would say that I generally tend to avoid his movies. Yeah. I did see Jumanji, the first one. I didn't think he was the best part of it. I saw Black Adam, which I didn't like. Yeah, I don't know. I I just think he's not that good of an actor, and I'm not into those types of movies. I did watch all the Fast and the Furious movies with him, but yeah, I'm not into like the uh I don't know. He's just not a very good actor.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Have you watched Smashing Machine, the most recent one?

SPEAKER_00 17:05

No, I've heard good things, but I've also heard that it's not that good, so I don't know what to believe.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Yeah. I I think that would be an no, I I've almost watched it a few times, but it's too biopicky. I don't know. It like kind of like straddles the line where it's a biopic about somebody I know nothing about, and yeah, same. Um, so like that makes it feel more, I don't know, fictitious, and it seems like a little bit more uh authentic than some of the biopics that are just like manufactured by the people who the biopics are about. Yeah. Um what's that called? It hagiography? Oh what? Uh I I know I'm I'm I know I'm saying that word wrong. Hagiography, it's the writing or of an admiring or idealized biography.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Oh, isn't everyone's uh well yeah, I guess not autobiography.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

It's uh biography of a saint over an ecclesiastical leader, often with miracles or legends. Like basically when you get, you know, like the Bob Marley one, it was like the Bob Marley family like writing about and it's just like, oh, we're gonna tell this, you know, hero journey.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

And that's how I felt about the um Bohemian Rhapsody movie too. Like I wanted to see Freddie Mercury's like real life, not this idealized whitewashed one.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yeah, I there may be some of that in the smashing machine. I need to fact check this, but I feel like I read something about how it criticized how Mark Kerr, who was I think the who The Rock is playing, clearly took steroids throughout his career, and like that was a big part of his I don't know, physical problems and stuff like that, and and wasn't even like mentioned like The Rock, like I I think The Rock has a very polished, idealized image that he tries to portray in in movies. I'm sure every every movie star does this, but I do want to see that movie at some point because if you look at his movie career, it seems like the only movie where he like plays some vulnerability. Like I mean, most of his movies probably aren't that interesting to you because it's just like he just plays essentially a superhero. Yeah. Yeah. And like without any I I thought Doom was interesting in that he like actually plays a villain and somebody who's not very likable, which could you say that about anything else that he's played in the last uh I mean, since then?

SPEAKER_00 19:25

No. I mean, I uh I also again don't really know much of his career, but uh yeah, I I don't get that impression from what I have seen. He always seems to play the good guy.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yeah, tends not to play stuff with a lot of range. Uh I did watch Ballers, though, that TV show on HBO where he plays uh NFL agent, former NFL star, and uh turned NFL agent. It's a bit of a ridiculous show, but he does have some range on it, and I think he could I don't know. Yeah, it'd be interesting if he actually like migrates. When was that on? Uh I feel like it ended about five plus years ago. Uh 2015 to 2019.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Yeah. I think that he's probably improved as an actor since Doom.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

For sure. It's yeah, it's hard not to improve on his performance in Doom.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Uh I loved how he kept calling everybody men. Fall out men. It just felt really forced.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Yeah, it'll be interesting to see what he does with his career. I think he I think he took a risk with Smashing Machine. It didn't do well in the box office and didn't do well critically. Like it wasn't like his, you know, Oscar performance. It wasn't, I don't think a bunch of people were now calling for him to like take on very desperate roles. So I could see him just falling back into, I don't know, where he played the what was that red one or that like uh Santa Claus movie and oh yeah, I never saw Red One, I don't know, stuff like that that felt like pretty manufactured uh action movie stuff. Yeah. Anyway, uh back to the movie. Yeah, I I I didn't like the movie. I I felt like to your point, I mean, Doom is all about just action and monsters and it's like an onslaught of hell beasts. Yeah, and they they like try to add way too much story here. Story was never Doom's strength. Um, and I think for the most part, most video games, right? Like you d you I mean, almost by definition, it's not a medium where you're trying to like tell rich stories.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Some yeah, uh certainly at this time, I think that like your average shooter game was not a strong story-based game. Nowadays, since the technology has improved, I think that like The Last of Us or things or uh you know Red Dead Redemption or something like that can be a shooter style game, but have good story. It can be artists.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

I I but Doom I I don't think was meant to be like a story-driven piece.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Yeah, you're correct. But but yes, that was that was my point. I didn't say it as eloquently. I mean, e even from this era uh Of video games. They were video games that were more story driven, like I don't know, Final Fantasy or something like that. Isn't that like very s story intensive? And uh the Oregon Trail. Why has there never been an Oregon Trail movie? That's a good question. Maybe we don't know. Can we pick that IP up for Jeep and write our own Oregon Trail movie?

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Uh there oh. I searched for Oregon Trail movie and I'm like, oh, there's one from 2003 or 23, but it's Oregon Trail and it's like a slasher. It's Oregon like your guts.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Is it is it like the Winnie the Pooh adaptation of uh Oregon?

SPEAKER_00 22:41

It is set in the 1870s on the Oregon Trail.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Nice. Man, that's a genius. Yeah. What's what's the Rotten Tomatoes we're creating? Can we uh add that to our October queue?

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Let's see. Ooh, 36%. It's a little too high, I think. Just a bit too good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Uh okay, half an hour in. You want to give a synopsis of this.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

I mean, what's what's there really to say? Uh the rock leads a team of space marines. What were they? R R S T Double RST? Yes, I don't know. And there's a portal to Mars, and uh, I don't know, there's some sort of experiments going on there that's creating these hybrid monsters. It makes some people superhuman and some people horrible brain-eating monsters.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

That that didn't make any sense to me, but yeah, we'll get to that maybe.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

Yeah. It's something with their chromosomes. Uh, and something goes wrong, and they have to do like a uh containment type thing, and they send in in the Space Marines to to figure out what's going on and kill essentially everything there. So that's it. That I mean that's the entire plot, but they spend an hour and 15 minutes talking in this movie.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Did the plot make sense to you?

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Uh no. I mean, the premise makes sense, like send in the Marines, but then every decision they made when they were there, I'm like, huh, okay. Like, I don't get why they're doing these things, and it kind of fell apart as it progressed. Yeah, I didn't understand the whole like the the tongue thing going for some people's brains and not other people, and then like she was trying to say that it if you're an evil person, you might have something in your brain that this extra chromosome enhances that part, but I don't know. It was really strange. They're like, we don't the 10% of the human brain's still unmapped, so we don't know why it's doing this.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

At the end, she injects Carl Ur Urban with a chromosome to save his life, and it's like, no, I trust, I trust that you're not gonna turn because you're good.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

But several other people who she thought were good people turned into horrible monsters when they got it.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

So yeah, I mean it seemed like almost everybody did, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Yeah. I'm also a little confused. So they they were injecting some people with it, right? And then other people were getting like vampired by monsters where they were shooting their tongue into their neck hole and then they became zombies. Yeah. So there's two ways that like both of those things were happening at the same time, like they were injecting people, and then those monsters started ejecting other people.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

I I stopped paying close attention at some point, to be honest, because it it was really confusing. But my understanding is they only injected the first guy, like the prisoner. They were doing experiments, they're doing experiments on this base on Mars on humans that Roseman Pike didn't realize was happening. And they only showed the one, like the guy that the prisoner that had been sentenced to death and was like the gnarliest looking prisoner. Like, I don't know. Would you pick that guy for an experiment? I feel like if I was gonna start picking experiments on humans, on something that could make like a super soldier, the guy that's an obvious uh like superjacked and like I don't know, just like meanest mug, but look like already a villain. Yeah, exactly. Like, let's pick this guy for the super serum first. Um, anyway, that's the only person I saw I remember seeing that they did that. And then it seemed like everybody like he started sticking his tongue in people's neck holes. Yeah. And then but it wasn't consistent with like how people would turn. It was like yeah, there were some people, like the chief scientist guy that cut off his own ear that like took a really long time to turn. And then everyone seemed to like look like a monster once they'd turn, except the rock at the end when he turned.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

Then he's just like walking around talking like who died, and then what they put him in the body bag and the trope of the body bag moving and he ripped out. Uh he looked like a zombie too, like not like a monster. Yeah, remember the guy that bashed his brains out on the glass?

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I guess I'm saying everybody looked like a zombie and then became more monster-like, and then the rock just looked normal the whole time. The whole time until he like he was talking after he was in fact, nobody else was like having normal conversations. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

And like thinking and you know, yeah, they were just like brainless, like he literally bashed his own brains out on the glass to try to get at them, and then the rock is like still given one-liners when he's a zombie.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

After yeah, after he turned. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Why couldn't it just be they opened up a portal to hell on accident on Mars and these are hell beasts coming through?

SPEAKER_01 27:35

Why did it have to be this stupid which is pretty much what Doom was, like the video game.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

And yeah, like like just do that, and then and then they have to like conquer all these and you know, Doom obviously, like you start with minions and then you work your way up to like the big bads.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

I don't know, such a disappointing, which I we're gonna jump around a little bit, but one of my biggest uh, I don't know, nitpicks in in this type of movie is like the Carl Urban is facing off against zombified rock, and like the rock doesn't have a gun or he runs out of bullets or something like that. And and he's basically like does the whole thing where he's like, let's fight like men. Yeah, and like Carl Urban's like, okay, let me fight against this like guy that's twice as big as I am and turned into this powerful like no.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

I know he had gotten the injection though, so he was superhuman and the rock was super monster, so it was Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

I I I mean I understand that for the movie it's supposed to be there's no there's no way I'm in that spot where I'm just gonna like drop my gun and be like, all right, gonna shoot my last round into the sky so I can fist fight this monster twice my size. Yeah, like because I won't get this chance again to yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Yeah, it's so stupid. This is like the worst adaptation of alien I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

I I wrote down this that at some point that this feels like a sci-fi channel movie of the week. Like just the production was everything. CG. Yeah, it was so dark most of the time. And it was like all these action sequences where and I know Doom is dark and moody and all that stuff, but it just seemed like they were like, How do we save some money on stunt doubles and CGI? Like, let's just let's just make the scene really dark and like see the fucking thing. Yeah, so you don't understand what's happening.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Yeah. I was not a fan of this movie.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

It also felt like the movie was just all jump scares. They're just like, how can we put as many in this as possible?

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Yeah, they started with the really um minor jump scares like the the gas hose coming loose and spraying uh mist everywhere in your face, and yeah, it I was like, oh my god, it's one of these movies.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

What'd you think of all the characters? Any favorites?

SPEAKER_00 29:58

I uh liked the pinky guy in the wheelchair. Yeah. Uh just because I like that actor from Band of Brothers. I think he's a good actor. But I I like I didn't I I like to see him in this movie. I didn't I don't know that I cared about his character. I didn't care about any of the characters. And uh Rosamond Pike's accent was uh it was not good.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

I I wrote down both both Carl and Rosamond's accents were really funny because like so he's he's Australian and she's British and they're both playing American brother sister. And I was like, why not just like make them British or Australian? Or like why like why why torture them both to try to make them both use American accents?

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Yeah, they're supposed to be twins and they've got completely different accent uh yeah, they kept dropping back into whatever, you know, their their native accents.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Um I'm sure this was obviously early in their careers too. And I couldn't believe how young Carl Urban was. Yeah. Uh what'd you say?

SPEAKER_00 31:09

I'm a big fan of Carl Urban. I like him.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

Yeah. I thought the team, the the Marine team, had such wide age ranges. Like Portman, the guy that was like the dirty. Like, how old was he? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

He had to be like mid-40s, probably at least. Yeah, at least like he and then they have the kid who looks like he's 19.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

Yeah. I was really surprised the kid didn't die first. I would have laid money that uh that's how they you know that's how they set it up.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Yeah. It w I don't know. It was so dumb. The kid did die because he got killed by the rock when the rock turned villain. Yeah. The rock turned villain before he even became a monster.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Yeah, I didn't really understand. There was a whole storyline where he didn't want to call in reinforcements, and uh Portman was like standard operating procedures is for us to like call. And at no point does he like talk to his boss. He's just like, our orders are to contain it. Yeah, yeah. And by any means mess necessary. Murder everybody on this base. And there were so many decisions he was making that I was like, there's no way that whatever handbook you have is like, yes, this is the tree of the book. Yeah, this is tree of decisions. Um yeah, there it wasn't clear at all what his why he wanted to just essentially go bad.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Yeah, and he did just he killed people who were perfectly healthy and not monsters. He and he knew they weren't. He just decided I'm gonna kill everyone.

unknown 32:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

For no reason. Like his job was to like go in and secure the base or whatever. And uh what was what was the character's name that told him they needed to call backups? Portman. Portman. Yeah, he was like, we don't know what we're dealing with, we need to call in sport. I'm like, that makes perfect sense. Uh why would they not do that?

SPEAKER_01 32:56

The whole situation just seemed far-fetched to me anyway, by the way, that it was like there was this emergency, which was essentially the bad prisoner guy that they injected became a monster zombie. And somehow that wasn't the I I feel like there's some specifics that should have been communicated up the chain about like what you're trying to contain. And it seemed weird that like other people on the base didn't realize what had happened. Like they're video cameras, like you should be like, okay, yes, there's this. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like there's a a general there should just be this general like something happened, contain the something. Yeah. Like it I like if we were called to some like chemical facility or whatever in in you know, there's a checklist somewhere uh is it a fire? Is it is it like a chemical spill? Is it like you're not gonna like I don't know, yeah, monsters gone rogue?

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Yeah, yeah. It reminded me a bit. I just watched this week, uh I mean I couldn't get through it, but the newest Jurassic World or part or whatever. And I don't have you seen that?

SPEAKER_01 34:01

No. I stopped watching those movies after, I don't know, at some point. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Yeah. At the beginning, they're doing uh genetic experiments on dinosaurs, much like this movie, and there's this like airlock area that they have to go through to get to the dinosaur side. Yeah, and some guy is eating a Snickers, and he he's like standing by the door and he just drops the Snickers wrapper on the ground, and for some reason the door is like sucking in air and it sucks in the wrapper and like fries the door, and then the the dinosaur gets out. And I'm like, in what world is the only barrier between you and these mutant dinosaurs some door that's sucking air off the ground? Yeah, like has no filter to prevent whole rappers being sucked in. Yeah. Uh it's just and it's gonna short the door. Yeah, it's gonna short the door and kill everyone. It's just stupid, like really lazy plot points.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Uh speaking of tech in this movie, what's what's the nano wall? What does a nanowall do?

SPEAKER_00 35:05

I don't know. Uh I I was wondering the same thing. They kept talking about nanowalls and showing them, and I'm like, are we supposed to already know what nanowall is?

SPEAKER_01 35:15

And was that a thing from the game? Like, I don't I don't know that I don't know. I mean, that's clearly not a thing that exists in real life. So I I feel like you have to explain it if you just make that up for the movie, you know.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

I couldn't figure out is it taking them to a different area or is it just a a wall to the other side that they can make solid or like open so that they can walk through?

SPEAKER_01 35:38

That's it's felt like the ladder. It didn't feel like a portal to like another part of the base or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Why not just make a fucking door? Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Why have this like millions of dollars or wall just that you can turn off turn into a door sometimes and turn and that will kill you if you're halfway in and out of it when somebody makes it solid? Yeah, yeah. Also, uh they have the BFG in the movie, which obviously is awesome in the game. Yeah. When you get to the point where you get the BFG and uh it's teased here is just like this experimental weapon that they're working on Mars and the rock season, it's just like, hmm, let me use this. Like, would you just pick up a random gun? And like, like he doesn't even there's no manual of like how to use this.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

I was thinking about that. Like there's there's a certain manual of arms that go with every like firearm so you know how to operate it. And he's just like, Well, I'm on a mission right now, I'm just gonna use this weapon. I've never I don't even know how it shoots.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Yeah, I don't know if it works. I don't it could blow up in my hands, but I'm just gonna try it. I don't I don't know if it has ammo, where the ammo is.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

How to load it? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, how to fix it if something goes wrong. Yeah. I'm just gonna bet my life on it that it'll work.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Exactly. Uh and then there's a huge first person point of view sequence in this. What'd you think of that part?

SPEAKER_00 37:11

It one made me want to throw up. I don't even get motion sick, but I was like, I cannot follow this. And also you couldn't see a fucking thing that was happening during that sequence.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

It was so dark and everything was moving so fast, and I was like, what am I looking at?

SPEAKER_01 37:26

Yeah, it just seemed like they were like, yeah, the video game is first person, so let's just add this first person shooter.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

Yeah, I remember that was like a big hype thing about it when it came out that there was a first person sequence that was just like the video game.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

Yeah, but let's just go play the video game. Exactly. Yeah, that was pretty bad. Any other notes or thoughts about the movie?

SPEAKER_00 37:50

Uh I thought there was some really bad dialogue. There was this one scene where Sam, the doctor, uh Reaper's sister, was discovering that they weren't just like hell beasts, they were her coworkers that had converted into monsters. Yeah. And she's with um, I don't remember what the guy's name was, Dutch or something, Quake. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

That was just really uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 38:17

Anyway, yeah, it was super uncomfortable. Uh, but she was with him and she was like, This thing didn't kill Dr. Willitz, it is Dr. Willets. And I was like, Great place for a cut to the next scene, and then it cuts to uh the Quake guy or whatever the fuck his name was, I don't remember. And he's like, What?

SPEAKER_02 38:35

That's when they cut, and I'm like, that's the worst place to cut.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

You had this like bombshell revelation that you could have cut after, and instead they they went to the guy who just says, What? That was a weird choice. Yeah. Uh uh, yeah. I don't have many notes about this movie. It was pretty unremarkable, I think. Yeah. What do you what do you have?

SPEAKER_01 39:00

No, nothing else. Uh I actually yeah, the only other note I made was there's there's really no plot if cloud storage exists because the whole thing is like she's trying to go recapture some of the data for their research data. Yeah. It's just like, yeah, we just have it synced to Dropbox automatically. You can just blow up the base.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

You can pull it up on your phone, actually, from anywhere. Yeah. This is gonna be our worst episode ever. Why is that? This movie is so bad. I mean, it was like there's nothing to talk about in this movie. It's uh it's like if they took two hours of gameplay and took all the gameplay out and just made it talking about doom.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

A nonsensical plot and just terrible characters that were just all cliched. Duke.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

His name was Duke.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Yeah. Quake. I just I just said, yeah. I I did think like, oh, there was a character named Quake. That's weird. Like maybe that's a good one.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

He had weird names like goat and Duke and Pinky.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

Uh yeah, I was looking at the quotes list, and one of them, his name was Mac, and the guy says, You don't look like a Mac, and he responds, Katsuhiko Kumasuke Takashi. Or I don't know, I'm definitely not pronouncing it right. And he says, So Mac. And I like I don't really understand that line. Like he's basically like, My name is a really long Japanese name, so they call me Mac. I I don't know. Like, why not call him cat? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

Like there's so many parts of that name that you could like nickname. Like, you don't have to pick Mac anyway.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

That was a super useless character, too. Uh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

I didn't understand.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

Uh he was left behind to guard the portal with Pinky, the who's not a soldier at all. And then he spends the like half of the movie, maybe more, just guarding that area, doing nothing, not shooting, not even in scenes. And then they're like, Okay, situation's changed. Come up now, leave some grenades with Pinky. And he runs into the fight and instantly gets beheaded.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

Yeah, he just dies right away. Yeah. I didn't even really understand like what Pinky was doing for like what he could see, what he could not. I the whole thing was just directed weird too. Like I didn't really understand the physical layout of the um it just seemed like they just kind of moved stuff around to conveniently like like shoot the scene here and the scene there. And I yeah, I didn't get a good sense of like the physicality of the of the setting.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

Yeah, I had no sense of place at all. Because it was like, are they in a safe area? Like they're just leaving people behind unarmed while monsters roam around. And I'm like, where are they going? Why don't they why aren't they all together? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

Yeah, I didn't understand what was contained, what was not contained, what was yeah, what was the danger area.

SPEAKER_00 42:00

Yeah, it was confusing.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

There was a whole sewer system part that seemed like I like would that be part of the modern base? Uh I didn't yeah, that I it didn't make sense. Yeah, nothing made sense, really.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

They just jumped from one sci-fi action trope scene to another.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

Yeah. Not a good movie, but not a like not in a fun way, like, oh, let's let's laugh at how crazy this was. It was just like boring and dull and poorly made.

unknown 42:31

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

Yeah. I thought that Carl Urban's character was kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

I like Carl Urban, so maybe I'm just yeah, what well what were the character beats that you were like, oh, this is an interesting non cliche. He cliche.

SPEAKER_00 42:46

Oh, it was cliche. It was certainly cliche, but he was the only one that was I was like, he's making decisions that seem rational, like he's trying to protect people and he doesn't want to do the things that they're doing, but he's going along with it anyway, because he's a soldier. Yeah. Like The Rock just made decisions the whole time that I'm like, nobody would make these decisions, and everybody else was just doing like stupid shit and getting killed, and yeah, you know, they'd go off and get killed alone. And so I'm like, he was the only one that I felt like wanted to leave, uh, and wanted to protect at least his sister and the innocent people that Iraq was now killing for some reason. But yeah, so I thought that he was like okay, but yeah, maybe it was just that that's as good as it gets, I think.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Yeah, I think every he was just normal. Everybody else is so bad that like Harrison maybe look good, but yeah, I thought it's like as a character, I mean his character backstory is he grew up on Mars to scientist parents, and uh you know he something went wrong. He was going to be a scientist, and then yeah, I never really understood what like his parents died, and then he joined this elite marine squad joined the Marines and I guess got promoted to this elite squad. It's like a scientist turned marine? I don't know. I I mean I'm sure they exist. I'm not saying like Marines don't have people who have great educational backgrounds, but it was just like just this like weird story. Uh yeah. Anyway, it just seemed like a a weird like, oh, let's let's make Rosmond Pike his sister just uh I mean at least they didn't make it like a love interest, like it seemed teasing in the beginning.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

Yeah, I was glad it wasn't that. Yeah, and they kept um referencing like the accident or whatever that killed his parents. And they even were showing flashbacks of stuff, and I'm like, I still don't know what happened.

SPEAKER_01 44:37

Yeah, the flashbacks were just like flashbacks of like the setting, like like wide shots of the base, and then uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

And then the rock came up behind him and he was like, Is this where it happened? And I'm like, what happened? I watched I watched the flashback. I still don't know.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

Yeah, I didn't think about that till now. Like there were several flashbacks, but nothing happened in the flashbacks. What did happen?

SPEAKER_00 45:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

Anyway, who's this director? Do you know? Yeah, I mean, I don't remember his name. I looked it up.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

Romeo must die. He directed the oh no, he was a cinematographer on speed. Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

Yeah, not I again sci-fi movie of the week. Um yeah. Uh what are your skip this one? Yeah, skip this one. What are your alternate picks?

SPEAKER_00 45:25

Watch Oregon Trail instead. Uh I don't know. It was Organ Trail. Yeah, Oregon Trail, not Oregon. I don't have an alternate pick. I I think watch Alien instead. It's this movie.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

You're not gonna pick your favorite rock movie?

SPEAKER_00 45:41

I don't I don't think I even have one, do I? Let me I gotta look up the rock again. You say yours.

SPEAKER_01 45:48

I'll just say it save you the trouble. Uh you don't have a favorite The Rock movie. Um yeah, my my ultimate alternate pick is Dread with Carl Urban.

SPEAKER_00 45:58

Oh yeah. I love that movie.

SPEAKER_01 45:59

I really love that movie. Uh another um well uh I'm starting to say another, but uh it's not based on the video game, but it has a very video game feel where he's basically an obviously remake of the Sylvester Sallone um I think is more based on the comic book than the Stallone one. I think so too movie. But um yeah, he's trapped in this residential skyscraper and has this video game-esque feel of like making it up the levels to um, I guess get the big bad and and escape. But um yeah, such an awesome movie. I think we watched it together actually.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

I do have favorite rock movies. Oh yeah. Yeah, he was in he was in the other guys, uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

I mean you wouldn't call that he he had He dies right at the beginning He had like two minutes in the movie.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Uh and then Fast Five. I loved Fast Five.

SPEAKER_01 46:55

Uh which one was Fast Five again? I I get them all confused.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

Uh what happened in it? They went to Brazil to one with the safe that they Yeah, they dragged down the street. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was an awesome movie. I watched that movie and like I I was literally standing in parts because I was so excited at the theater.

unknown 47:21

Really?

SPEAKER_01 47:22

Yeah, I was like, this movie's so fun. That'd be so annoying if the guy in front of me was standing.

SPEAKER_00 47:26

Oh, it was an empty theater. It was me and my friend that we went. Yeah, it was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

I think, was it fast six or seven? I think one of my favorite moments in cinema was when the rock in one of the fast five movies had a cast and just flexes his bicep to break the cast before a fight.

SPEAKER_00 47:47

Yeah, I don't remember which one that was in.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

I was like, this is so ridiculous. It is awesome.

SPEAKER_00 47:53

Yeah. There was like five, I feel like Fast and the Furious five through like seven were the best ones.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Yeah, and then and then it just like got so ridiculous that I was like, I was like, man, I cannot like I can drink the Kool-Aid for so long on this, but compared to what the first movie was about, uh to now they're flying cars into space.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

I was like, okay, this is Moonraker. Yeah. Yeah. It jumped the shark big time.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

Well, I think that's about all we got for Doom. Stay tuned for more uh movies about video games, video game adaptation month here on the Worst Movie Podcast. I'm Ade.

SPEAKER_00 48:36

I'm Aaron. Thanks for listening to the Worst Movie Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 48:39

I think we just said the name of the podcast twice in a row. And I forgot to say our email address for which is really important. So because people are just clamoring to write us. I know. Uh the worst movie podcast at gmail.com. Yes. There we go. That's it. I'm A Day.

SPEAKER_00 49:00

And I'm Aaron. Are we doing the whole thing again? I don't know. This is a terrible podcast, isn't it? I said it's gonna be our worst episode yet. All right.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Goodbye. Thank you.