Robin Hood (The One Where Taron Egerton Redistributes Wealth)

This week on The Worst Movie Podcast, Ade and Aaron tackle Robin Hood (2018), directed by Otto Bathurst and starring Taron Egerton, Jamie Foxx as Little John, and Ben Mendelsohn as the Sheriff of Nottingham. Egerton fires arrows fast enough to punch through helmets, Foxx works through an accent that won't stay in one country, and Mendelsohn dusts off the same shouty authoritarian he played in Rogue One. The guys debate the casting, the preachy script, confusing setting, and whether anyone is actually a Robin Hood fan.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to the worst movie podcast. I'm Aday.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

And I'm Aaron, and this is a podcast where we watch the worst movies ever made in the hopes of finding a hidden gem. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

What have you been watching?

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Uh a lot of baseball lately. Cubs are on a pretty good streak. I started watching the uh what's it called? The uh Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, the new Lord of the uh not Lord of the Rings, the new Game of Thrones show. Not finished with it yet, but it's I'm liking it so far. Way better than the Targaryen uh show. What's what'd you say? How many episodes in are you? How many episodes are there? I want to say we're like maybe five or six episodes in.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Okay. So you're pretty pretty far along. I don't remember how many episodes, but it's not it's not long. It's I feel like it's eight, nine, or ten, not thirteen to fifteen.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

So yeah, I think that so I'm pretty sure we're just past the episode where we find out who the the little boy is. Yeah. Uh but I'm I'm liking it so far. Uh well, I mean, we don't know who he is from the get-go, so yeah, I guess it's it stands to reason we'll find out at some point who he is.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Yeah. Uh that was good. We really liked that show. I I think I mentioned that on this podcast, but uh we never watched House of Dragon.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

I could not, I'm too dumb to keep up with House of Dragon. It's too convoluted and confusing, and I don't care about the lore that much to like follow it.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

But yeah, that's the thing about uh Knight of Seven Kingdoms that I really like is I just don't care enough about that world to do the research, and I'm not living in this world every day, so I don't remember like, oh, the you know Joffrey Baratheon was the cousin of the nephew of you know, whatever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Uh so I know Joffrey wasn't a Baratheon, but uh we got eight seasons of lore. I'm I'm lured out. Tell me a good story. Right. Uh it was way it's uh so far way funnier than we expected it to be as well. I know you mentioned that you thought it was funny, but um I mean there's like a poop joke in the first 10 minutes of the first episode, and I laughed. Amanda didn't like it. She was like, why are they doing this?

SPEAKER_00 2:41

So I just actually listened to a podcast today where um they were talking about reusing IP and how uh I don't I don't know if you've seen the new Clayface trailer. Have you? It's coming out later this year. I think I have. It's a pure once like it's kind of it's it's a horror movie, so it's obviously part of the of the Batman universe, but it doesn't at least the trailer, they don't mention Batman or Bruce Wayne or anything like that at all. And it's kind of cool to like I liked the Penguins spin-off TV show, but it's kind of the same style and genre as the Batman movie.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

And Clayface seems like it's taking from that world, but a completely different genre. And I like the idea of Knight of the Seven Kingdoms making a very different kind of show. I mean, it's not a comedy, you know, it's not like a sitcom. Uh but taking that IP instead of like trying to remake Game of Thrones, yeah, maybe you still have a few attempts at that, that you like find these universes, whether it's Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, or and like use the rich, you know, world to build, you know, new types of uh shows and movies off that IP. So it's kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Yeah. And uh it's like pretty early on. I mean, the poop joke is poking fun at that like very thing because the the music swells and it's the same theme as the Game of Thrones show. It's the same theme song, and you're like, oh my god, we're getting into it. And then it like hard cuts to him taking a very graphic shit. And I'm like, okay, so this is a different kind of show.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Yeah, yeah. What about you? Uh so I finally finished my Mad Men rewatch. Uh I forgot when I started it, but it was sometime last year, I think. And uh oh man, I love that show. I I'm glad I took the time to re-watch it because I feel like it kind of elevated it in my mind. It was already in my top five uh all-time favorite shows, but this is the f this only the second time I've I've rewatched watched it through, and uh, I feel like it maybe went up a notch. I don't know, don't don't make me put in stone what my top three are, but I feel like Mad Men is top three.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Yeah, that would be tough. Top three favorite shows Sopranos, Wire, uh yeah, Mad Men, Breaking Bad. Yeah, that's more than three. How do the fuck do you pick?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yeah, exactly. I mean that's top I feel like top five are way easier than top three. I I started a Better Call Saul rewatch and may go back to finishing that. I love that. I think I've I think I've put Better Call Saul above Breaking Bad. And I think right now my top three I don't know. I like I said, I can't commit. Why why are Breaking uh Wire Mad Men? And then the question for me is is it Better Call Saul or Sopranos that takes that number three spot?

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Yeah, that's tough. I don't know how you pick rather than force you to pick. I haven't seen the last few seasons of Mad Men. What do you did you finish the full Yeah yeah yeah?

SPEAKER_00 6:17

I watched all all seven seasons.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

I I think so I've watched up until he's like living in an apartment with a different woman, and I'm like, I don't know what the hell I got into here. Like I I think I fell asleep and it just autoplayed. Uh and so I that's kind of where I dropped it. Uh on my rewatch, I'm basically at the point where they get bought by the British company. Yeah. Lane Price works out the merger. Yeah. Yeah. Which is I mean, this show is 20 years old, so I'm not even gonna spoiler alert it. But yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Yeah, I I I thought it stayed strong throughout. I think uh a lot of the iconic things about the show that I remember that I remembered were from the first couple seasons. Felt like the mid-seasons were strong, but not necessarily like groundbreaking or iconic in the way that I mean that that's under that that makes it sound worse than it is, but I just say that to say that I felt like I I really enjoyed seasons six and seven, and especially on a rewatch and not which you you may fall into this, but I I remember the first time I was watching Mad Men Live, it was just this constant, like, what's gonna happen? How are they gonna wrap this up? And like I know there's all this speculation, this is I guess a anti-spoiler or spoiler for you, but there's all the speculation of in the in the theme song, you know, intro, there's a man falling, and there's all this like, oh, is Don, is it going to end with Don jumping from the top of the building or something like that? And yeah. Uh it kind of ends very um, do you want do you want I I'm not gonna tell you what happens. Yeah, you can tell, you can say. But I'm just gonna say it ends kind of Sopranos-esque, where it doesn't like wrap everything up in a nice bow, and there's some questions about what happens. And so I remember being a little bit frustrated there because like I want the like here's the happy ending, or this at like here's exactly what happens to every character, and like let's let's go on to live happily ever after. Exactly. And it doesn't do that, yeah. And I in the moment I wanted to do that. Now I'm glad it didn't do that. Um and it like the last season, especially, they introduced some new characters, and like it's just like this constant, like, well, well I want more. Yeah, I want to spend time with these other characters that I've seen, and like some you know, some of those characters that were prominent, especially in the first couple seasons. Like you never see them again. And yeah, but anyway, all that say, like, I I just felt like the emotional resonance and the themes in six and seven were super strong. Six and seven. That's that's how we get the kids on the podcast. Are the kids still saying that?

SPEAKER_01 9:23

I don't know. They've probably moved on. Once once uh millennials started saying it, they probably abandoned it. Yeah. Uh Amanda and I uh were just talking about the Sopranos finale, and we both were like getting goosebumps just talking about it again because we love it so much.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Uh yeah, it's a good I I didn't think the first time I watched The Sopranos, I didn't like the finale, but the more I watch it, I'm like, oh God, that's so perfect.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

Yeah. Yeah, I uh there's not enough time in the day. I I need to I need to do a Sopranos rewatched it. Yeah. So uh I think my my master plan is like if I can figure out what my top five are and just like create a rotation where every ten years I watch each of those series, then that means like every two years. You know, I I like I have a two-year window to watch one of my top favorite f five favorite shows. So I uh because I like that I I like that there was ten years before the Mad Men finale before I started re-watching it again. Yeah. Cause it like I forget enough to make it interesting, but you know. Yeah. Feels new. Yeah. A little bit. Does it feel like we're talking about shows we love so much because we don't want to talk about the movie? Let's just stay here a little longer. Yeah. Can we can you ask me some questions about loss? No. Well, uh, continuing on this month's theme of watching movies that are going to be remade this year. We're talking about Robin Hood from 2018. Uh first of all, had you seen this movie before? Had you heard about it? No, I didn't know it existed. Isn't that weird that I mean 2018 wasn't that long ago, and it was a big budget, like big star. Like how I don't know what was happening specifically at that time, but when I came across this movie and researched for this theme, I was I was like, how did I miss this?

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah. Uh I don't know. I like it. I if you had asked me what the last Robin Hood movie was, I probably would have said that Russell Crowe one, right? Russell Crowe? Yeah, but yeah, I have no idea. I didn't know this existed. Yeah. Uh I'm not a big Robin Hood fan. I loved the Disney animated one as a kid, but like he's not an important uh character in my life.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

I was gonna get into that. Is are are there Robin Hood fans? Like, are there people who are like, this is my guy? Because maybe more now. From but from what I you know, I feel like it's interesting and would you call it a fairy tale? I guess it's a fairy tale. I think it's like folklore. Yeah. But it's not uh because when you say something like I'm a Star Wars fan or I'm a Batman fan, you're referencing usually a particular like piece of content or series. Like you're like, I I watch the the original Star Wars trilogy and I'm really into it, or yeah, like I'm really into and or or like I'm really into whatever, the 60s Batman TV show. Like to be really into Robin Hood, you're not like I mean, I I would assume the people who are like digging up the the lore from the 1400s or whatever are like English professors that are not also like Jamie Foxx's portrayal of little John was amazing. Like the crossover isn't there, you know?

SPEAKER_01 13:13

Yeah, it's being a fan of the character rather than the world or the lore.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

It's like being a fan of James Bond or Yeah, but again, that's like your your you're like I've read the original books or I've watched all the Bond movies and like Yeah. Yeah, Robin has I just I just feel like what like what is the other than robbing from the rich from the poor to rich to to give to the poor I don't know. We'll get it there. Yeah. Uh other than that basic idea. Yeah. Like I feel like the stories are all over the place. Like you could just make it it's not like a this tight piece of IP that like I can go get the original Robin Hood novel from you know England in the 1300s.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Yeah, I'm guessing it probably started as just like oral stories being uh oh my god, I don't even know how to move on from that. Uh glad I killed the vibe.

unknown 14:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

I I'm just assuming that it wasn't like you know, there's a single creator and author of Robin Hood.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

And yeah, there wasn't. I guess that's my point. It's like all over the place. And so it's a it's an interesting piece of IP to be like I'm a fan of King Arthur. Right. Uh yeah, that is kind of weird. Yeah, and that's maybe why it doesn't work as well as some other like uh King Arthur is actually a good example. I was trying to rack my brain for like what other types of IP content are there like this where you're like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Um just the old medieval lore.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

Yeah. Uh well, real quick, the overview of this movie. So like I said, 2018, directed by Otto Bathurst. Bathurst.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Uh I don't know who that is. I don't know who he I I don't I've never even heard of this person.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Uh no, I didn't I didn't know who that was before, but he's uh um he was a director mostly of TV, Piggy Blinders, Black Mirror, um but I don't think has much of a filmography. Um and then stars Taryn Edgerton from King's.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Is that how it's pronounced?

SPEAKER_00 15:42

I have no idea. Okay. How do you pronounce it?

SPEAKER_01 15:46

I say Egerton, but I don't know. I was I was just thinking about it before we started, and I was like, I hope this isn't a um Idris Idris situation.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Which I didn't want to say anything, but you said it wrong on the last one. I know.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

I I yeah. It's so deeply ingrained. Yeah. Uh Terry Edgerton. You're right.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Okay. Okay. I usually am. Including the podcast. Did you see Blackbird that he was in? No. The TV series on on Apple TV. It was really good. No. It's about he goes undercover to get information from a about a serial killer. Or yeah. Uh but anyway, yeah, it's really good. I do love a good serial killer story. And then I was surprised, I must have just maybe it's just I have a blind spot to Taryn Edgerton movies, but uh he starred in a movie called She Rides Shotgun, which is based on a novel that I read and really enjoyed. And I feel like I would have been like, hell yeah, sign me up. I'll see this opening weekend, and only discovered in researching for this podcast that that movie existed. So anyway, it's on it's on my list.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

I haven't gotten to it, but and that isn't your alternate pick?

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Uh well, I I would have made it my alternate pick if I had time to watch the movie. Like I was I was going to.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Oh, you haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_00 17:14

You haven't seen it. Okay, yeah, that's right. Uh Jamie Foxx, Ben Mendelssohn. We'll talk about them a little bit more. Rotten Tomatoes, 14%, $100 million budget, made $85 million the box office. So obviously bombed, but seen by, you know, it was a wide release, big movie. Any interesting background information that you dug up? I have a couple of things, but nothing too like spicy.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Uh the actress who plays Maid Marion, I don't know if she's called Maid Marion, just Marion. Uh Eve Houston is Bono's daughter.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Oh, I think I knew that at one time. So she starred in The Nick, uh, which I really liked, uh, Clive Owen. Did you ever see that? Um I think I knew that from from watching her there. Um she was also in Jay Kelly movie with um uh what's his name? George Clooney, uh that came out last year. So what's it called? Jay Kelly. It wasn't it wasn't great, but I I I liked it. I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

Um I think I heard that this uh movie maybe lost a hundred million dollars.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

Uh that's that sounds about right, probably after um uh expenses. Uh yeah. Um advertising says Lion Gate lost roughly 84 million dollars after expenses. Yeah, I guess opened on uh Thanksgiving weekend. So yeah, how did I not hear about this? Anyway, I it must have I I must have seen it and just been like, this is not for this is not for me.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Uh but uh I do think I have also have a blind spot for Taryn Edgerton's like career. I've seen the some of the Kingsmen, a few of them. Yeah. And Rocket Man.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

I haven't seen Rocket Man because it's a biopic. Music musician biopic. Yeah. Yeah, I I wouldn't have the funny thing is like I recognize him and I recognize the name, but but honestly, like before doing this, most days I probably wouldn't have paired them together. If you're like, who's Taryn Edgerton? I would have been like, uh, I can't remember what he's been in. If he like showed me a picture, I'd be like, oh yeah, that's the guy from Kingsmoon and whatever. And um I would have been like, is that the kid from Hunger Games? Is that PETA? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. He does he does have a uh yeah, he doesn't he does look like a lot of people that that that are like kind of fill that that role.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Yeah, like I guess that's what makes him uh believable.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Handsome, square jawed, yeah, middle-aged or like younger white guy. Yeah, he's a very handsome man. He is. Uh so if you watch the trailer for the two 2026 movie The Death of Robin Hood, stars Hugh Jackman, Jodie Comer, Bill Skarsgarden. It's uh it doesn't, I saw I saw the trailer in theaters and I was like, not gonna see this. Uh oh really? I maybe I just have a anti-Robin Hood thing because I'm just like I don't I don't know where that comes from. Maybe it was like the Russell Crowe movie or like just uh just being like Robin Hood Men and Tights is the only Robin Hood movie that I have in mind. Yeah, this is great. Uh Death of Robin Hood, it may be really good. I I don't know. That it was the guy that directed Pig, which I haven't seen. And um with uh Nicholas Cage. Yeah. Um so uh you know somebody who has like strong like indie artistic credibility, so yeah, he may actually elevate the content more than it just like a you know cheap corporate grab at some you know IP that they don't have to like license. Yeah. But it kind of like reimagines like what if Robin Hood is you know gritty and not as an old man. Yeah. And Hugh Jackman is strong and I mean uh so it it could be it could be good.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Well I'll say that the Robin Hood movie that we watch today, I feel like borrowed very heavily from Christopher Nolan Batman movies. And I wonder if the death of Robin Hood is like Batman Beyond. With old old Batman.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Yeah. Uh I mean, yeah, I I guess I've I haven't made that parallel much. Like maybe Batman was influenced by Robin Hood.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Yeah, uh possibly. And the the parallels that I see in this movie to Batman are the like the dual lifestyle of him being this like noble lord during the day and then kind of in his free time being this uh justice seeker.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

Yeah. So yeah. Do you want to give a quick synopsis of this movie? I mean, I guess it's the synopsis of the Robin Hood tale.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Yeah. I although I read that not every story of Robin Hood had him fighting in the Crusades and stuff like that. So it's it's changed over time. But in this one, he's uh it begins with him fighting in the Crusades and he's fighting in Arabia, I think, and um kind of has a little battle with Jamie Foxx, who plays Little John. Uh he comes back from the Crusades to find that uh the Sheriff of Nottingham, played by Ben Mendelssohn, has basically stolen his land and declared that he was dead and and uh kind of taken his stuff. And so he uh basically teams up with Little John who follows him back to England and they um basically uh start wealth redistribution, I guess, is what they adventuring. Yeah. So it's not very adventurous. This is not like a swashbuckling adventurous movie, though. It's a it's a lot more like political and yeah, and less fun.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

They do literally use the phrase redistribution of wealth. Yeah. As in in a very like I I groaned when I it's very on the nose. Yeah. Uh did you like this movie?

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Not really. Uh it was it was okay. It was uh I think it would have been a better movie if they just abandoned the Robin Hood part of it and just been like, this is a different movie. It's just a different character, and it would have been fine.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Have we talked about that? Because that's that's almost literally what I wrote in my true.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Yeah, I mean, it feels that way. It feels like it it's a fine, I mean, it's they changed, I think, the the story a little bit to make it relatable to modern times. It's about uh, you know, like il elites and wealth redistribution and and uh stuff like that rather than just like a a merry band of men kind of helping poor people out. It's like more of a like a tactical we're gonna fight back against the established elite and and yeah what's ours.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

So what bug uh it's so funny because uh so three things bug me and we can dig into them a little bit more. But one, which we've already talked about, it's so on the nose with its messaging, it's just like just fucking give us a title card that's like here's here's our political stance of what we think like should happen. It could be a memo. Yeah, exactly. It's like it's so preachy. Uh yeah, and it's clearly tried to preach about modern day. Yeah. And then two, it's like it stretches so much to like try to fit the Robin Hood narrative on top of the story that we see. Yeah. And like bring all these characters in, and like even uh yeah, and I was just like, I so I wrote just a few senses in my little letterbox review, and I was like, I kind of I wish that this wasn't about Robin Hood so they could just tell the story that they wanted to tell. No. And then the third thing is like it stretches so much to put it in whatever time frame it's supposed to be in. They even say in the in the voiceover at the intro, yeah, like something about the history. Yeah, and like they deliberately don't tell us what year this is. And I'm like, Yeah, but this is medieval time. Like, why are they wearing modern clothing and stuff like yeah? I just wanted to be style clothing. Yeah, don't be about Robin Hood, don't be just like set a story in today's, you know, era and then tell the story you want to tell.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Like I just wanted a different movie, I think.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Yeah, I I agree a hundred percent. Drop the like medieval pretense and just tell a modern story that everybody like I think most people are gonna relate to and be like, hell yeah. Like yeah. This is uh we're on board.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

So, what does this get on Aaron's patented worst movie podcast star scale, where a five is the worst movie ever?

SPEAKER_01 26:44

It's uh it's a three. It's below average, but like it it could be it's there's nothing egregiously bad about this movie. Like the special effects are fine, the costuming's fine, the acting is fine. I like the premise is relatable and everything, but like they they tried so hard to tack it onto a Robin Hood story that the whole time it's just like this is so cheesy and dumb, and yeah, and I kind of don't know why they're doing this.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

It took me a while to really catch like to pay attention to the clothing and stuff like that. But I think it was like 20 minutes. I'm like, what is what is that jacket he's wearing? That that doesn't look very medieval. Like you could buy that today, like Aberc Abercrombie and Fitch or something like that. Like you're such an old man. What the Abercrombie references?

unknown 27:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Does that even still exist today?

SPEAKER_01 27:38

I don't know. Probably, but they're not like the big mall presence they used to be, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

What's what's the cool store at the mall now?

SPEAKER_01 27:46

I have no idea. I'm an old man. I also like that you you had to stop yourself from saying ambercrombie and fitch.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Yeah, I just uh yeah, I'm I'm all tongue-tied today.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

Yeah. Um I yeah, the the costuming was really strange. It was obvious they were trying to do like they're trying to pull from what you see in modern day like social unrest with the masks and yeah, stuff like that, rather than just normal. But but I mean like it's not medieval either. So like you can't put them in. I guess I guess the tights probably weren't uh historically accurate either. Yeah, I don't know. Now that I think about it. Uh yeah, I don't know. I don't know what what they were trying to do.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Marion had like completely modern makeup, like it didn't. This is like, okay, this this poor uh I don't know, like thief beggar is like wearing, you know, like bright red lipstick and eyeshadow and yeah, she spent an hour that morning uh doing herself up at least before she goes to the to the stables and no, they're everybody works in the mines. Well, then she like try to steal his horse at the beginning. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, she did.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Uh also the architecture is all like d dystopian future, like it's uh it's so weird. It it's just like I I can't I can't place myself in it.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

I made a note. How how is how is the castle so well lit at night? There they're candles everywhere, but then there are scenes where they're standing, it's like the middle of the night in the castle, and it's like they have spotlights on them.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Yeah, it's an obviously just lit set.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Yeah. Uh there are so many things like uh that I I was just like, I I need to Google like, is this like what's historically accurate from this? Like, so let's talk about the weaponry. There's a lot of arrows and bows and arrow stuff.

SPEAKER_01 29:51

But you get like you get like automatic crossbows in this movie.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

Yeah, there's like machine gun arrows in the crusades, and I'm like, did they have this? Because that's fucking awesome. Like, I don't know. I think they're like walking through this uh I mean it looks like a you know Middle East, like Iraq, like war zone sort of thing, and then all of a sudden this like guy up in a tower just starts like and it's like super heavy duty stuff. Like I I don't know, like how b how big are normal arrows? Like that sounds really dumb.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

What are they called? Ballistas? That's what it seemed like. Uh I just looked it up. They have had repeating crossbows since like the year 475 BC. Wow. But like China was way ahead of the curve on that one. This like high caliber. No, they were much smaller, but uh yeah, they've been they've been doing that that tech for a while.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

And there's scenes where like he's shooting arrows and the and they go through like a metal helmet. Like can they?

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Oh yeah. No, no, I like I think that a lot of this is uh just juzged up for uh Hollywood, but they maybe they maybe did have the repeating crossbow tech to stand corrected on that one. I when I watched it, I was like, bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

Uh I kind of want like a I don't know if it'll be any good, but like I I feel like we haven't had like a good epic Crusades movie where it's like historically accurate and like I don't know. Like why hasn't that happened?

SPEAKER_01 31:33

I don't know. I think maybe Game of Thrones scared people away from the like knights and medieval stuff for a little while.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

But I don't know. Could be like there's been there's a lot of like romance like Gladiator and like stuff like that, but not a lot like set. Like I mean specifically around the crusades and and just seems like there'd be a lot of great battle scenes. I mean, maybe it's uh people feel weird about the cruise crusades themselves. Like it wasn't why? Should we talk about war for about 10-15 minutes? How do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_01 32:14

Bring religion and war and politics into this episode.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Yeah, I guess I didn't really think about my question uh before asking it now that I've said it out loud. I know why we haven't had a lot of movies or content about the Crusades. Yeah. So uh never mind. I probably don't want to talk about it. What would be your medieval weapon of choice? Bow and arrow or a lance?

SPEAKER_01 32:39

I don't know. I think a sword. I'm uh I've always been into the swords like with the Lord of the Rings swords and stuff like that. I'd I'd go swords. Also, like katanas and stuff. Like uh I mean that's not middle uh medieval, but I think I'm a sword guy. Like I like the katanas from uh Kill Bill and Yeah. So I think I would I would go swords. Also, uh uh my favorite turtle.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

Your favorite turtle? Oh favorite turtle. I I thought you were saying a turtle as a weapon of like what I got a snapping turtle that you just throw at people. Um oh yeah, what's your favorite? Um yeah, I feel like of the Ninja Turtles, the sword always did seem like the the right choice. Like the the staff, I feel like you have to be really like you have to be really, really good at the other three weapons to be effective. A sword, like if you're really good with a sword, you know, that's awesome. But like if you're just okay with a sword, like you can at least poke somebody with it.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Yeah, the staff was always the lamest.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

And the size, like, you have to get really close, right? So that just seems dangerous. Yeah. So I I think I'm a sword guy.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

How do you feel about bow bow and arrows? I I feel like the arrows are really like Hawkeye and Marvel, I always felt like it was a little, and they maybe joke about this a bunch, but it's like they have all these powerful people and in this world of guns, and then it's the guy with the bow and the arrow. He's just in the rafters for the whole fight. Like a very specific problem has to come up for you to be effective. And most of the time you're just like, uh, I better set this one out.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Yeah.

unknown 34:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

It's like, hey, Spider-Man, can you help me get in the rafters too? Yeah, I think that bows are cool in real life, but in like uh a superhero or like a like a this movie felt borderline superhero-ish. Like it had some of the same kind of elements. So I think that's kind of lame in those scenarios, but in real life, a bow and arrow is pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Have you ever shot one? Uh I don't think so. Not for uh if I have, it's been like a kid's toy, not like a real, yeah, you know, legit like the kind they use in the Olympics or whatever. Right. Have you?

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Uh just once at s in uh scout camp, like summer camp, we did uh a bow and arrow module class.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

What what was it called?

unknown 35:29

Like a badge.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Like a badge. I said module, and I was like, that's not right.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Uh I read a brief note that he worked with somebody who's like a world class archer for this movie.

SPEAKER_01 35:49

And well, they I'm betting you that 90% of the arrows he shoots are CGI.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

I I I'm not gonna bet against that. Uh the sentence I read, which uh probably was Wikipedia, uh made it sound I I guess the implication was that they wanted it to seem realistic. But watching this, not none of the arrow stuff seemed realistic. They tried really hard to make it. I mean, it was almost supernatural how fast he was he was like reloading and he like had this technique. I think the technique where he holds three arrows at once so he doesn't have to like grab the next one is is real, and maybe that's what he he learned and they pulled from. But yeah, hit his his archery was I mean, if if you could just pick up a bow and arrow and be as effective as he was in this, and it's like going through metal and shit, like that would be the weapon of like you'd just use that all the time.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Yeah. But it'd be unstoppable.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Uh which he was unstoppable in this movie. Uh yeah. Um plot armor. Yeah. Speaking of plot armor, I didn't understand the plot very much, did you?

unknown 37:09

No.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

Yeah, I so I'll admit I watched this movie a week ago. Uh, we were gonna record it last week, and I watched it and I was like, I don't feel good about how well I understand this one either. And uh yeah, it like it was it was uh I don't know. I I don't convoluted.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

Yeah, I don't understand little John's plan. He I don't either he decides to leave uh Arabia Arabia and come to wherever they are in England to disrupt the power structure to avenge his son's death and stop the crusades by recruiting Robin. I was just like, wait, there's so many steps here, and like why would you think that this would I don't know?

SPEAKER_01 38:00

It wasn't it wasn't it basically just like if we can defund them, then the crusades will stop and but I I feel like if you're I mean, just imagine Well, there was the plot twist at the end, though, that the church was funding the opposition so that they could take down the government of England and take down the king, but actually take down the king.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

I didn't understand that either, really. Um I didn't I didn't really understand the whole power structure here. Like, even just for small things like the sheriff, um, which by the way, uh just the fact that he's called the sheriff, I was like, well, he's just the sheriff. Like who's the who's the mayor? Um I know that's just vote for a new sheriff. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I just voted for sheriff a couple weeks ago here. Uh I know that's stupid, but yeah, I was like, I was like, but I need I need to understand in this medieval England structure, like who is the sheriff essentially the mayor?

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Or anyway, like the whole thing fell out of place because they're using like feudal structure for the government, but it's in like modern times in England, and you're like, I well just I don't know. Like I don't get it. Yeah, and it feels weird, it's uh it's all out of place.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Yeah, the the macro things didn't make sense in terms of the plot, and then like smaller things like the sheriff seizes Robin Hood's castle while he's at war, and then it's like I'm like, but but why? Like, I guess to get like it seemed like a financial thing, but it's just he seized it and the castle is just decrepit. Like, how is he making money off of the seized castle? That doesn't make any sense. I don't know. And John and uh uh Robin Hood wasn't there anyway, so like what does seizing it mean mean? Like it was empty and now it's just even emptier because he seized it. I have so many like just random notes of like things that I didn't understand. Uh well, okay, this is a big thing. How is like nobody like uh both so Robin Hood comes back from the war, then this mysterious stranger starts stealing stuff, and then little John, who is black and in this the only black guy in the movie, yeah, just is like walking around and how's like nobody like oh shit, there's a more that like we're fighting in the Crusades. Maybe he's the thief, or really let's bring him in for questioning, roundup the usual suspects. Like, I don't know, because I since I don't understand the power structure, I don't understand if there's like a FBI division or like cops or like what, but somebody investigating this would probably be like because it seems like at some point the the fry friar tuck is investigating. Like, what what is a friar doing?

SPEAKER_01 41:06

I don't know, man. I was confused. Also, are you um are you uh proposing uh racial profiling in this movie?

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Yes. Because I feel like like we're only now understanding how bad racial profiling was. I feel like in the 1400s, I keep saying the 1400s, but I have no idea what when what year this takes place. Yeah. The 800s or whatever. But uh yeah, like I feel like they wouldn't be that woke. I think I feel like he would have been brought in immediately as soon as he was seen on the streets. Yeah. I mean, even if there wasn't a thief, they would be like, hey, you, what are you doing in our town? Aren't we killing you guys right now? Yeah, they're at war. I mean, I don't know. Uh where are all the fires coming from? They're just like fires coming up from the ground uh dramatically all the time. Especially it's like Robin Hood saying something dramatic and then a fire burst behind us. It's like uh that a later at some point I wrote down there's so many sparks in this movie. Uh it's just like out of nowhere, it's just like spark.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

I bet there weren't that many sparks in the Middle Ages. Not like that.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

I mean, it kind of looks cool in a music video sort of way. Uh yeah. Maybe if it was a better movie, it I would have been like, oh, this looks awesome. But here it just seemed distracting and dumb.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

Yeah. Somebody's got their like plasma cutter out in the middle of the castle. Yeah. Um there was a lot of um really weird just design choices. Like that was probably my biggest issue is like the the style of the movie is just like Yeah. Yeah, I know you're saying forget the history, we're just gonna tell a story like related to or based off of Robin Hood, but then just don't tell just don't make it Robin Hood.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:08

And then all of these stylistic choices can be fine. Do whatever you want, but like don't call it Robin Hood.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they just stretch too much. Like the fact, like his whole relationship with Marion, too, is like he they were in love, then he couldn't talk to her because I didn't understand why. And then at the end, he's like, all he wanted was to get you back. And it was like, wait, what you're robbing the sheriff and like to get Marion back. Yeah. You could have just been like, hey, Marion, I'm I didn't die in the war. You want to get back together? Yeah. At some point the sheriff says, Humans are the only species that fear death. I was like, that does not sound true.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

Yeah, I don't think that's yeah. I I think I said that out loud when he said that. I was like, I don't think that's true at all. Like, isn't a isn't a cornered animal Like the most dangerous. Yeah. The most dangerous animal because they fear death too.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Yeah, there are parts where it felt like they were trying to be kind of like smart and I'm I'm 14 and this is deep. Yeah, exactly. Uh did you did you watch the credits sequence?

SPEAKER_01 44:19

No, I didn't know there was one. It it started skipping to the next thing before I got to it.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

They had uh it was like they had the the actor, like the main actors, and then they had like an illustration of the actor from the movie, and then quotes that they said during the movie. And I was like, are they trying to be like signing the yearbook at the end? Exactly. It's like it's like cool. If you're 14, you'd be like, Yeah, I'm pretty badass when he said that. Uh yeah, just I mean, I don't know. I I wrote down.

SPEAKER_01 44:54

Have a great summer, Friar Tuck.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

That's what it was. Uh at one point, Robin Hood is like, either we all make it or none of us do. And I'm like, no, I think you should just not true. I think you should just uh aim for most of you to make it. Yeah. Don't don't don't just throw the whole merry band away just because uh Will is stuck or whoever was stuck.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Yeah. Um and they definitely set this up for a sequel, and I'm really hoping that was so optimistic.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

I was like, what were they thinking?

SPEAKER_00 45:34

Uh I mean they they tried hard to be like, we'll be back with Robin Hood too.

SPEAKER_01 45:40

Yeah. Will at the end makes the heel turn and joins uh joins the church to become the new bad guy, the new sheriff, and yeah, so they're like really setting us up for a sequel. Oh, so bad. Eight years later, I don't think it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 45:59

Nope. Nope. Just uh maybe you shouldn't keep your schedule free.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

Yeah, who wants that? Do you think that the casting was right? Do you do you like uh Jamie Foxx and Edgerton and Mendelssohn?

SPEAKER_00 46:15

Uh so let's take each of those in turn. I uh so Edgerton was fine. I I thought, I mean, like kind of we kind of like we alluded to at the beginning. I like him. I don't know that he's super memorable or like there's anything from him that I'm like I mean, definitely not in this movie, that I'm like, oh yeah, I would I sign up for him. Like I'm neutral, like I've liked some of the things he's been in. I didn't like this. Uh I've been indifferent about other things. So I kind of feel indifferent about him overall. Yeah. Jamie Foxx is more complicated. I thought his accent in this, what did you think of his accent?

SPEAKER_01 46:56

Bad.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

I th I thought it was since I feel like you'd you'd notice the accents first. Uh, but even I was like, wait, this this keeps changing. And yeah. And I don't know what it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

Yeah. I I never I like I would never have been able to place it if you had just had me listen to it and made me guess. I I wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

Yeah. Uh and then Ben Mendelssohn, uh, I guess I'll say this here. I I used to love Ben Mendelssohn, and two of his movies are in my all pics. I guess I'll just give you my all pics now rather than dance around it and come back to it. So Killing Them Softly uh is in probably my top hundred. Uh Brad Pitt. Yeah, Brad Pitt and James Gandalf, one of his last roles. And uh it wasn't a very well or widely seen movie. And um, but I I remember reading an article where Ben Mendelssohn was talking to the director and was like, I think this character would basically he was going to remove one of his teeth to be to better fit the character. And the director was like, What are you talking about? Don't don't perform dental surgery. But like he's he's really like method, really like kind of insane about getting into his characters.

SPEAKER_01 48:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

Um and then at some point I think he just was like, Man, I gotta get paid. And so is like started doing uh I I think he's still probably an incredible actor, but doing like Star Wars stuff and obviously this and like uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:32

I mean, I think I was gonna say Rogue One that he's in, I think is it could be 1A1B as my favorite Star Wars movie of all time. Yeah. Uh with Empire. Uh but I I feel like he's playing the same role in this that he played in that as just the shouty, authoritative asshole guy that like the anime, like the bad guy. And I'm like, okay, well, I've seen this before from him. So um I like I like him, but I feel like I've seen him mostly do that. What do you think? I didn't know the tooth thing that it reminds me of the of Ryan Gosling uh showing up to Lovely Bones where he gained 60 pounds, and the director was like, Why did you do this? And I fired him. I don't remember that. He was like, he just felt like the grieving dad should be heavier, like he should be uh overweight. So he he just made his own choice that he was gonna gain 60 pounds. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 49:32

Yeah, they fired him. They fired him there. Like, we hired you because you're one of the most attractive people on the planet.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:40

Uh that's funny. What do you think of Taryn? That's another level of crazy. Yeah. I mean, I admire that. I don't know. Yeah, anyway. What do you think of Taryn and Jamie?

SPEAKER_01 49:51

Uh I th I like Taryn. I think that if you had made this a period piece and just put it in the in the medieval times, he could have done this just fine. And I probably would have liked it more because it would have made a little bit more sense and I could have wrapped my head around it. Um I think he's fine. I don't think he was bad in this movie. I think he's like a capable, likable actor that would have been a would have made a good Robin Hood um Jamie Foxx. I'm kind of hit or miss on. I like him in some stuff, and other times I'm like, oh, he's just Jamie Foxx.

SPEAKER_00 50:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Um he wasn't good in this. Uh but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

I I think that's wrong. I obviously like cra collateral and Django Unchained incredible movies, and he's great in those. But um, I can't even say collateral.

SPEAKER_01 50:41

Uh my alt pick is actually a Jamie Foxx.

SPEAKER_00 50:45

Ooh, okay. Uh well my my final my final note, two two quick notes before we go to alt picks. One is I really, really want to do one of those like rope moves that he does towards the end where he like jumps on the rope with his his bow and like swings across. He like does the horse on the rooftop true lies sort of thing, and then yeah, jumps onto the rope thing. I thought like that stuff looked really cool. Yeah. Uh and then my last thing that I wrote down was how does fire work? Because there's there's a scene where uh the rebels or whatever set this fire, and then Ben Mendelssohn's like, clear this fire, and like a bunch of people like his tension.

SPEAKER_01 51:31

They push it out of the way. Yeah, yeah. I watched this with John and he was like, Wait, I need to see that again.

SPEAKER_00 51:40

Like if you could just push fire away, uh that would solve so many things.

SPEAKER_01 51:45

Yeah. I have a note that I wrote down Robin Hood, the original gangster, and I don't know why I wrote that. That's great. Uh yeah, so that's where my head was at. I don't know what that means. Well, we'll we'll end there.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

Uh what's your all pick? I picked horrible bosses. Oh. Uh was he one of the bosses in that?

SPEAKER_01 52:15

I haven't seen that since no. He was the what was he called? Like motherfucker Jones or something. He was the like shady bad guy that they were gonna hire to kill their bosses. Uh and then he he was like, No, you guys have to do it. Like he he was like the worst bad guy.

SPEAKER_00 52:35

Uh, that's funny. I I need to rewatch that. I mean, that was like 2004 or something. I mean that that's 2011.

unknown 52:41

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

But yeah, I uh I obviously have issues with Kevin Spacey, but it's still one of my favorite comedies of that era. You don't have to say obviously. We don't obviously know that you have issues with him. I mean, most people probably have issues with him. Uh but he's so unlikable in this that I'm like, okay, well it makes sense. He's just himself.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

My I'll pick. So I I picked two both Ben Mendelssohn movies because I I feel like they're uh some of my maybe top hundred. Um don't don't ask me to quote my top hundred, but that's just my framework for uh Killing Them Softly. Love it, love it. Uh Mississippi Grind, another like indie movie that not many people saw, and and I don't know that I don't know how great it was reviewed, but it stars Ben Mendelssohn and um uh I just dribble. Ryan Reynolds? Deadpool, yeah. Ryan Reynolds. Um they play two uh uh I guess degenerate gamblers that kind of go on a trip and it's really good. Have you seen it?

SPEAKER_01 53:55

Nope, but degenerate is one of my favorite words. Uh Amanda and I like to call ourselves degenerates.

SPEAKER_00 54:02

Yeah. Well, just feels fun. These are definitely degenerates. I Ben Mendelssohn's really good at playing a degenerate. Maybe that's maybe I like him more as a degenerate than a like person in power.

SPEAKER_01 54:14

I didn't realize until today he's Australian. I thought he was British this whole time.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

So I learned something. Yep. And we're all better for it.

SPEAKER_00 54:25

That is true. And hopefully you, the audience, have learned something also. Skip this movie. Skip this movie. Ben Mendelssohn's Australian. And uh How does fire work? And fire you just need to get through the fire. You can have people uh push it out of the way out of the way with shields. Um and also b bone arrows that can be badass if you I don't know. That is actually probably true, but yeah. Yeah, I should probably just watch some YouTube clips of like modern like good archers. It probably is actually a lot cooler than I I think it is. I bet it is.

unknown 55:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:09

Maybe you can watch that after you're done with your like gun stock cleaning videos.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

Yeah, it was like the primary uh weapon for like most of humanity's existence, I'm guessing. Well maybe.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

Club? The stick. I was gonna say the stick.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

Club and rock may have throw rock. May take that one. Yeah. Take that spot.

SPEAKER_00 55:35

All right. Well, we have some research to do before the next one. If you have any questions, comments, hit us up. The worst movie. Suggestions. The worst movie podcast at gmail.com. Uh what'd you say?

SPEAKER_01 55:47

I thought I fucked that up.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

We could say that about most of this episode.

SPEAKER_01 55:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:56

All right. Thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_01 55:58

I'm Aday. I'm Aaron. Thanks for listening to the worst movie podcast.