EMDR WITH DANI AND ALLY

Healing Pathways: EMDR’s Role in Emotional Regulation

• Dani & Ally • Episode 9

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What’s The Connection Between EMDR And Emotional Regulation?

What if your emotions stopped hijacking your day and started guiding it? We take a grounded look at how EMDR builds real emotional regulation, not by erasing memories, but by calming the nervous system so you can remember without reliving. From amygdala overdrive to prefrontal clarity, we unpack the brain mechanics that keep people stuck in fight, flight, or freeze—and how targeted resourcing and memory reprocessing reduce the “charge” that fuels anxiety, anger, and shutdown.

We walk through phase 2 strategies that help clients notice activation early, pair it with simple resources, and practice skills they can use between sessions. Then we dig into phase 4, where bilateral stimulation integrates affect, body sensation, and meaning, moving experiences from the “unsafe and urgent” pile into a properly filed memory that no longer runs the show. You’ll hear real-world shifts clients report, like visiting a parent without bracing for conflict or feeling a steady baseline even when life stays messy.

Along the way, we challenge the myth that emotions are the enemy. Emotions are a compass—signals that help you orient, choose, and connect. With EMDR, anxiety can nudge preparation rather than avoidance, and anger can support a boundary rather than trigger a spiral. We share practical tools clinicians can teach—orienting, bilateral tapping with breath, sensation-first tracking, and brief future templates—so progress shows up beyond the therapy room, during holidays, hard talks, and everyday stress.

If this conversation helps you see regulation in a new light, share it with a colleague, subscribe for future episodes, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your feedback helps more clinicians and clients find the skills that lead to steadier days and stronger relationships.

To learn more about EMDR WITH DANI AND ALLY visit:
https://www.DaniandAlly.com
EMDR WITH DANI AND ALLY
254-230-4994

SPEAKER_02:

Hey there, I'm Danny from Ontario, Canada. And I'm Allie from Texas.

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to EMDR with Danny and Allie, your go-to space for collaborative consultation that connects and grows one clinician at a time. I'm your voice guide, not Danny, not Allie, here to introduce your host, Danny in Ontario, Canada, and Allie in Texas. Together they train clinicians around the globe and offer EMDR therapy that's as supportive as a great pair of walking shoes. Steady, reliable, and just what you need to walk alongside your clients. Whether you're a seasoned therapist or just starting your EMDR journey, you're in the right place to connect, learn, and grow without having to log thousands of miles. Let's get started.

SPEAKER_04:

EMDR isn't just about trauma. It can reshape how we regulate emotions every day. Welcome back, everyone. I'm Chelsea Earlywine, co-host and producer, back in the studio with the host of EMDR with Danny and Allie. Danny and Allie, how are you?

SPEAKER_02:

Good. Great.

SPEAKER_04:

Great to see you. Well, let's dive in. We all know how important emotional regulation is for both clients and clinicians. How does EMDR uniquely strengthen that ability? And what does the science tell us about that connection?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, we know that one of the reasons that clients with trauma uh struggle with emotion regulation is because they're sort of stuck in that fight-flight freeze scenario. And so their amygdala is just, which is the fear center or the emotion center of the brain, is is just constantly, when triggered, kind of hijacking that prefrontal cortex of the brain. And so it's keeping them in an activated state. And so one of the things that we do in EMDR is we support the client during phase two in developing some resources and some strategies around working to notice moments when they're activated and working to calm the amygdala. And then of course, we know that during phase four, when they're actually processing memories, we know that by reducing the level of disturbance of those memories, that we also support the client in not being triggered. And so when they're not triggered, then we know that they're just going to have better emotion regulation.

SPEAKER_04:

So, Ali, so the EMDR therapy, Danny touched a little bit on how that influences the brain's ability to regulate emotions. Can you expand on that? How does that carry through the rest of the day or their life once they leave the room?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, unresolved trauma generally leads to emotional dysregulation. So the nervous system just really becomes conditioned to react with excessive arousal or shutdown, hyper-arousal, hypoarousal. So we help the client understand what that means, first of all. Um and like Dany said, the amygdala, which is our threat detector, it becomes overactive. And then our hippocampus, which is the context and the memory integration, they underfunction. So our prefrontal cortex also is it disconnects during stress. So it uh it allows us not to make the most informed decisions or to use our executive functioning because of that. So we go in total emotional mode where our thought process is just suppressed. And so we have to kind of feel our feelings go through the process so that we can connect to that front part of our brain where we can start making more knowledgeable decisions.

SPEAKER_04:

And Danny, what changes do clients typically notice in their emotional regulation or responses after EMDR sessions?

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm. Well, what I've noticed directly after processing is clients just saying, Oh my gosh, I feel so much lighter. What happened there? Um, I just feel like there's just this less charge when I think about it now. It just doesn't really, I can still remember it. And yeah, it's a disturbing thing that happened, but I'm no longer disturbed by it. So there's that differentiation made between, yeah, that was disturbing, but doesn't mean I'm disturbed by it anymore. And also uh when they come back after a session, particularly if the event is related to a family member, it's sort of like, hey, I can hang out with, you know, my mom again. And it's okay. It's okay if she does those things because I'm not finding that I'm loaded for bear every time I go and see her. So yeah, I noticed that you know, clients just really report feeling like I can just I can be okay with this now.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, that's helpful, especially leading into the holidays to feel that emotional regulation around family. Allie, can you explain how the bilateral stimulation supports the emotional regulation?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so it really helps integrate that affective cognitive, somatic aspect of the memory. So it brings all of those things together. So our brain and our bodies and our emotions remember when events happen. And so the bilateral stimulation, it really helps our brain, our body, our emotions process it. It doesn't forget what happened. We're gonna remember what happened, and it's valid what happened. Your brain isn't gonna forget what happened, right? But you're going to be less charged, less emotional, uh, less body sensations. So if you, if it a lot of times it's so integrated to our health and maybe our chronic pain or our stomach issues, or our heart palpitations, or our headaches, right? There's a there's definitely a correlation where we store that in our body and we store it in our emotions. And so the bilateral stimulation really just it helps integrate all of those things and it helps us to be able to desensitize. And I like to tell my clients we get to file it in the correct file system. So I like that it's it's not gonna be removed, it's just gonna just gonna be placed properly so that we're able to function in life and not be as triggered or as emotionally charged in the process.

SPEAKER_04:

I like that filing cabinet analogy. That's helpful to understand it. And and Danny, with EMDR, how does it help with managing overwhelming feelings like anxiety or anger?

SPEAKER_03:

Particularly if those um if those emotions are related to a traumatic memory, uh, you would find that after reprocessing whatever they're connected to, that that those sort of feelings would become more tolerable. So it's not that I would never feel anxious. We know that anxiety serves good purposes for us too. It's not that I would no longer feel anxious or that I would no longer feel angry, but I would be able to tolerate those emotions. And as Alison was saying, I could I could store them correctly. And so it's like being angry is no longer associated with you know something bad happening, or maybe the memories I have as a child of my dad being angry and what would happen when he was angry, for example, those those sorts of things, and so it's also helping with affect tolerance, just our ability to tolerate whatever emotions we're feeling at the time.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And and do you feel that has uh like long-term benefits for like emotional resilience after EMDR?

SPEAKER_03:

Absolutely, absolutely I do. Yeah, I think that clients really benefit from being able to connect with their emotions.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And Ali, what guidance do you have for clinicians to help them to help clients integrate emotional regulation skills outside of the sessions?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I like to help the clients know that our emotions are not our enemy, they're a part of us, they're our compass. Just like we have a watch that gives us directions, right? We go to the doctor, we take a medication, right? When we're sick. It's just how we're made. We're made with emotions. Uh, I, you know, God gave us emotions for a reason. So they're our compass. When we don't listen to them, it's like we're not connecting to our bodies, we're not connecting to ourselves. We are listening to the other voices of the world that we have to have it all together, or you know, men don't cry, or we we just don't, but we were created to not just be a brain, we were created to be a heart and a brain working together. And so I like to give that analogy to clients that could you imagine if everyone just walked around like a brain, we'd be like robots, how boring would that be? You know, we're a brain and a heart together, working together. So sometimes the stuck points are us helping find that pathway back to connecting our heart and our brain together.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, very important reminders. I love that. Danny, anything to add there before we close out?

SPEAKER_03:

I just, I'm just echoing what Ali was saying. It just sort of, it just sort of, it touched me. So I, yeah, I really, I really appreciate that.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, I get emotional every time I talk to the two of you. Well, we appreciate your insights so much on EMDR and emotional regulation. Today's conversation shows how this therapy can not only address trauma but also build lasting emotional balance. We'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey there, I'm Danny from Ontario, Canada. And I'm Allie from Texas.

SPEAKER_00:

That wraps up another insightful episode of EMDR with Danny and Ally, where our slogan, Collaborative Consultation that connects and grows one clinician at a time, isn't just catchy. It's our mission. Want more tools, training, or just need to ask Danny or Ally a question? Visit Danny at Ally.com or call or text 254-230-4994. Thanks for tuning in. And remember, the best healing starts with connection.