Honor Your Father And Mother

Mother’s Day can bring a lot with it: gratitude, laughter, regret, and sometimes a knot in your stomach. We lean into that tension while walking through the Fifth Commandment in Exodus 20:12, honoring your father and mother, and we get honest about what honor looks like when real life is complicated. We also kick things off with some fun as we’re missing Ryan this week, then we trade stories about the traits our moms passed down and why those gifts matter. 

From there, we dig into a simple verse with surprising depth, describing parents as a bridge, a bridle, and a blessing. We talk about how family shapes our view of God, why Scripture and grace leave a legacy, and how “more is caught than taught” plays out in the home. If you care about Christian parenting, family discipleship, and building a home built on truth, this conversation keeps it practical without turning it into a guilt trip. 

We also spend time on presence over performance, because kids don’t just need successful parents, they need available ones. That means real choices: phones down, eyes up, creating shared rhythms like reading together, working together, and praying with honesty. We close with hope for anyone who didn’t grow up in a “perfect family,” including navigating boundaries, choosing grace, and trusting the gospel to redeem what’s broken and start a new legacy through you. 

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Transcript

Welcome And Mother’s Day Banter

SPEAKER_02 0:04

This is the Kennesaw First Podcast. Life built on truth.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

What's up, guys? What's up, man? Did I sound like Ryan there?

SPEAKER_04 0:14

Yeah, he's he's out on a boat somewhere in the middle of the Caribbean.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

He's getting a sunburn. Full disclosure, he is not on the sick boat. He's not on that cruise. So have y'all heard about that? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, not good.

SPEAKER_04 0:32

Yeah. That means they're gonna go to port and probably quarantine them for 50 days. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

But Ryan's not on that one. He probably doesn't even know what that is at this point. He is sitting out by the pool eating some ice cream. He's eating the guys burgers. That's what he's doing.

SPEAKER_04 0:47

Did he go who did he go with? Did he go with Carnival?

Traits We Learn From Moms

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Oh, he did fancy this time. Yeah. So uh we're missing Ryan this week, but hoping that he's having a uh a fantastic Sabbath that we talked about last week. Uh this week we move on in our Ten Commandments, and uh through God's provision and his sovereignty, we are talking about honoring your father and mother on Mother's Day. And guys, I have a question for you. So when you kind of look at yourself, what is one personality trait or one thing that you feel like you received from your mother?

SPEAKER_04 1:30

Oh, that's a trait question first.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

That's a trait question first. That's funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:37

You got a good mama. I met her.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Yeah. One thing I noticed about my mom as uh as I was growing up, she was very understandable, number one, and she was very teachable. Um, with those two assets, I look at myself and I look at my life and how I move. And that is one of the things or one of the traits that I did pick up from her. Um, she did instill that in me. And I I feel like that came from my grandmother, well, my grandmother, um, her mother. But yeah, it's just understandable, being understandable and also being teachable. Um, but it's two top things I know that's come out of the top of my head.

SPEAKER_04 2:12

Yeah, was she the lady that ran down the football field with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's her, man. That's her. Yeah, that's her. Yeah, shout out to her. I'm impressed. Yeah. Yeah, and you got an awesome mom too. I haven't gotten to meet you.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

I do, I do. My my mom and I'm tight. Yeah, she is. So I would say that the thing that I receive from my mom is probably just passion. Um, we don't put our passions in the same place. Um, and we uh we care very deeply about different things, but I would say that the innate passion that I receive um would really come from her. Uh, she loves hard, and she is when she cares about something, she cares about it deeply. Um, you know, uh one thing that we do share a passion about is baseball. Oh, really? Yeah, so uh really our whole family is a baseball family.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

So she's a brave fan too.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

I know. Absolutely, Mr. Well, and how the Astros are playing this year, she might become one. Okay. Um we're we're searching for other teams at this point. Uh, but you know, our whole family is a baseball family. And uh one thing that I really appreciate about her was how passionate not only she was about baseball, but how passionate she was about um loving myself and my brother. She was out at every single game, she was at every single band concert of mine. Uh and so just really her her passion and her availability for me uh was was very telling. And it's some it's things that I notice in myself and also try to hone in and replicate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:03

Sure. My mom is um, I think the one thing I would say is my mom communicated value consistently to me and still does. I mean, she just lives across the street over here. And yeah, if I stop by, she's always got something good to say about me. If I'm it doesn't matter uh how bad I've been or how I may feel, she's always telling me how great I am. And um I guess uh everybody needs that kind of cheerleader. And I I I try to be that kind of cheerleader with others. Um I want to show value. I want to stop and say thank you. Um so that's one thing that I think she's rubbed off on me a little bit. I just hope that she rubs off consistently like that on me for and and as I get even older and uh see her. She's um she's aged very gracefully. And um and I love that about her. She's my buddy. Yeah, mom.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

I really enjoy every single Sunday. Uh, if we it when we do the stand and greet the person next to you, I always watch because what happens is she makes a beeline for my wife. Yes, and hugs her neck and says, I'm so happy to see you here, and I'm so glad that you're here. And it's it's probably one of my favorite parts of Sunday mornings is to go and see your parents and and they just hug me and they do exactly that. They tell me, you know, how much they appreciate us and how happy they are to see us. And so that's that's uh that's a trait that transfers to everyone.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

Well, they genuinely mean that, and we all mean that because we're so grateful to have you here. So thanks, Chaston's mother, for letting us steal your son.

Honor Beyond Obedience

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Well, what we just did is um a really good thing that that goes along with this week's uh commandment, and that is to honor your father and mother. And so honoring your father and mother is goes beyond just obedience. You know, this is kind of a thing that parents have in their back pocket to say, when you're not listening to me, well, the Bible says to honor your father and mother. Okay, so this this goes a little bit beyond just general obedience to your parents, and it gets a little bit deeper. So can you speak to that?

SPEAKER_04 6:32

Yeah, um, one of the things that I'd really delve into, I mean, this is a short verse, it's Exodus 20, verse 12. And, you know, when you're when you're going through the Ten Commandments, there are some Ten Commandments that are extremely short, and this happens to be one that is I I would say a little bit shorter, and it just is is pretty straight up, just telling us listen, honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives to you. And it's a beautiful verse. Um ventured into, I ventured into the Hebrew language because there's a whole lot of depth in that as I went into that and found three things that really parents do um in our life. They serve as a bridge, they bridge us over into life. They can either be a stepping stone or they can be a stumbling block, one of the two. Um, the other is uh they're a bridle, they help kind of guide your life, and they uh do, like I was explaining about my mom, cheer you on and help you find value in yourself and the gifts that God has given to you and uh direct you toward the God that we have and that leads our life. It is the Lord our God who has given us the land that we're walking on every day, that fortunately our parents taught us to walk on, but also uh they are a blessing. So it really focuses in on the three main purposes of parents and how God puts them and gives them a calling and a responsibility to raise children, a godly seed, as the scripture talks about.

Parents As Bridge Bridle Blessing

SPEAKER_00 8:22

So let's hone in on your first point. A bridge, parents being the bridge. You describe the parents as a bridge that helps connect children to God and healthy relationships. So looking back on your own life, how did your parents specifically or other spiritual influences help shape your understanding of God?

SPEAKER_04 8:47

Well, I remember um, of course, I grew up as a pastor's son. And growing up, I was used to going to church. I was uh doing that every single week. I went Sunday morning, Sunday night, I went to kids' choir, I went to everything under the sun uh that you can imagine. We went to Wednesday night uh back then we had missional programs and we did that. But how they how they shaped and became a bridge for me is they taught me God's word. And that's one thing I remember they taught me to memorize God's word. We would memorize 40 verses a year. We had a little thing called Bible drill back then, and uh, we would memorize those scriptures, and those scriptures are the ones that just consistently roll through my mind. Uh, I can quote them still to this day and find myself doing that in sermons a lot because those are kind of like my go-to verses. And over four or five years, I mean, there's like uh like 200 plus verses that I memorized. And so while no parent is perfect, what parents do is they point us to that which is perfect, which is God's word. And so they they provided for me an understanding of there is a father, a heavenly father, and there is and he takes on a role as a parent that while I might look at my earthly parents, that's not that's uh while they provided so much for me, they pointed me to even, I guess you can say, our heavenly parent, our heavenly father, who is a perfect parent. And so in his word, and they sought to live that out too, uh, just as I did. I mean, I raised my kids already, and they could say, okay, these are the right things and the wrong things, these are my dad's good traits, and my these are traits that God's still working on. But um I think that's that's really it. At the top of our staircase, we have a uh a a little um a little plaque and it says, I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth. And we've had that up as we raised our children. They would walk by it every single day. Sometimes they notice it, sometimes they might not notice it. But what's been really intriguing is they have noticed it enough that I went into my son's home here a while back, and guess what is the top of their of their staircase? The same type of plaque, looks a little different, but it says, I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth. So um that's what they did is point me to to the God who they had joy in, and um and pointed him to his leadership in my life. And so I think that's what I would say um would be probably the number one thing that they did in my life.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

I would echo that, um, and I would say something more specific about the character of God is how deep his grace is, um, and that he loves us despite our imperfections. Um, my mother would be the first one to tell you that she is far from perfect, but she still understands and experiences the love of God, and she would still push myself, my brother, uh to uh have the essential truths and the essential disciplines of uh of the Christian life instilled in us, and uh I would extend that even to my grandparents as well. Uh my grandfather is a pastor, has been a pastor uh for over 30 years, probably almost 40 years uh at this point, and uh my grandmother, a very faithful pastor's wife. And our family has extreme imperfections, and yet the Lord has blessed us. Um, and so I have witnessed the grace of God, I've witnessed the love of God, I've witnessed the provision of God through my family unit. And so I would say that's what uh I have seen and received um about the my my view of God and my understanding of his character.

Presence Over Performance

SPEAKER_00 13:31

So through life or through parenting, as we're all parents, we go through a phase of what could be called a generational curse being performance, performance-based. We're focused on performance-based with our kids instead of presence. So I want to dive in presence over performance. And Perry, you talked about that. But I want to ask you what does intentional presence actually look like in families today that are busy, distracted, and constantly pull in different directions.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

Yeah, but presence is it's yeah, it's it's intentional. You have to be intentional these days to be present. And sometimes being present is not just physically being there, it's actually setting your phone down, it's looking at your child in the eye, or it's leaving your phone aside, uh, because that seems to be the major distraction in our world today, and saying, you know what, today I'm going to literally go technology free. And that may be the easiest thing for me to bring up, but because it's just the easiest thing to pick on. But what I have noticed, not just from raising my children, but also from watching my children raising their children is they crave their time with their parents. My grandson uh last Sunday afternoon was uh, you know, we we they eat lunch with us a lot, and when they did, he started acting up a little bit um afterwards, and it was just really super obvious. He's just trying to get his dad's attention. And oh my goodness, they went out and uh my son-in-law was uh was paying attention to that. We we made note of it. It's just okay, he just wants his dad's attention, and they went outside and they've been working on a garden, and they've they're they have a greenhouse they've built, and they're doing all this stuff together, and I could just see him light up as he has dad said, Okay, now I I'm finished with my adult time, I'm gonna give that focus to you. And what he did is he just made an intentional decision to say, my oldest son individually, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna spend time with him, and I'm gonna look at him. We're gonna work together, we're gonna do some stuff together, we're gonna have something that when the when the day is done, really what we did is not really plant a tomato or whatever they they do. I mean, they've got this big old thing you gotta see their backyard.

unknown 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:18

Um, but they've got this big old garden thing going on. I mean, it's fabulous. I have this little weenie looking garden in my backyard. But there's like, I mean, there it's in the stratospheres now. And I just know that for my grandson Silas, he's gonna look at that the same way that I did with my dad years ago and say, me and my dad did that. We did that together. And that's that's just being present. That's just saying, I'm going to intentionally take time and I'm gonna put everything else aside. I'm not gonna be distracted, and I'm just gonna go for it.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

Well, it's it goes back to that saying, it's like people won't remember what you say, they'll remember how you made them feel. It's the same thing with our presence as parents. Um, they won't remember what you exactly what you did. They'll remember that you did it together. Um, you know, so they like for for your grandkids, they won't remember the quality of the tomatoes. Yeah, they'll be like, they they weren't good tomatoes, yeah. But me and my dad, we did it together.

SPEAKER_04 17:35

Yeah, and they'll talk about that. Right. You know, uh we uh we often tease because I do a lot of funerals, and it's like, okay, I go sit down with families and say, tell me about your dad. Tell me, and and I have a multiplicity of questions. I ask them, what are the what are the ad adjectives that you would use to describe your dad or your mom? And it's always interesting to hear that because it gets right to the heart of what they really received. Absolutely. And it's uh sometimes it's a completely different thing than what I as a pastor have seen in them. But they'll say, you know, they were very, very, very attentive, or they were very, they were very funny, they were very humorous. They they but I even did one recently, and a guy said, Man, he he really worked with his hands. I said, What did he do? And he says, Well, what he did was is he helped me work on cars, and I worked on cars, and ultimately he was a dentist, so he taught me to work on teeth. And he said, and that became my career. Yeah. So something he started with his dad working on cars led to a career. And I I thought that was really, really neat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

So, Trey, you've got kids. What uh what are some things that you do as a father, as a parent, uh, to intentionally stay present in their lives?

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Uh well, I want to piggyback off of what Perry said in my answer, and I'm gonna use technology. I realize how important technology is nowadays, but I also realize your job. It's it's my job. A little busy with that all the time. But I also realize how important it is in today's society. So, Maverick, per se, he has a tablet. 13-inch tablet. Dude just feels like he's on top of the world. He'll cast it to the TV, plug it up to the speakers, he'll do his thing, right? Yeah. Eventually I realize that's all he wants to do. How can I step in and take him away from that? Because he's seeing me do that. He's seeing me work on a computer, work on technology, whatever the case may be. So there's a story that I'm gonna tell. Um, a couple weeks ago, I said, hey, we're gonna give your mommy a break. Let's go, me and you. But where are we going? Just put on some gym clothes. Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 20:10

All right. So he's not only gonna adopt your good looks, but also your good muscles.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

So he's pumped. He's pumped because he's gonna ask me to go to the gym for the longest. So we head to the neighborhood gym. Good for you, man. It was it was so cool to see him in there. He's making the facial expressions, you know, just curling and just the looks that he's making, man. It it almost made me tear up to see that. Yeah, because he's really trying.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

And he wants to be just like that. Yes, he does.

unknown 20:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

He appreciated that time. He asked again when we left. So when we coming back, when we coming back. So the whole presence thing, it's free.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

You don't have to pay for that. Yeah. You don't. Chase the man, me and you had a conversation um at this is when you first arrived at the chicken spot. Um, and we were just talking about our fathers. Presence is so big. Yeah, I don't need anything from you but your presence. You know, that just speaks about to be there as a parent. So I hope that answered your question. Yeah, no, that's great. Super good question. But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:22

You know, the Bible says that a child's glory is in their father. And I know it's Mother's Day, and we're here we are guys sitting around here talking. But um, you know, what what do you see in Caitlin that you know you say, okay, this is when when she's mothering Olivia, oh my goodness, she's shaping her.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

How much time do you all have? Yeah, because this is gonna take a while.

SPEAKER_04 21:46

30 seconds or less.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

So one thing, so Caitlin has a very unique opportunity right now because she's staying home with Olivia. Olivia's not in school right now, and Caitlin's not working. So they are spending it. Lot of time together. And it took a little bit after the move to cut for her to kind of get her rhythm, but now they have figured it out. And they are a lot of times they are kind of beefing and they're at each other's throats. It gets a little overwhelming. But there are a lot of times where I see that Caitlin is really shaping her. So one thing they've started doing is uh Caitlin went and got a library card. And Olivia and her are going to the library. And that has now become a family thing. It started out as just a thing that they would do on Tuesdays. They have a little thing for kids that they do. They sing songs, they read stories. Well, then Olivia said, Well, I want to get, I want to go get some books. So Caitlin got a library card. And now they're at the library three, four times a week. We're going together. She's checking out six, eight books at a time. And then we'll go home and we'll read them together. And it might be a book about we read one the other day that was like, what's that smell? And it's a dumb little book about this kid wearing this costume for a week and a half and it starts to stink because he's farting in it or something. And Olivia loves it, but we sit down at night and we read it together. It's a time that we are together as a family. We're focused on something together. And Olivia loves it. She's being shaped. And it I love it. It Caitlin is so intentional, and she is so good about that. I've I've been noticing so many people making comments about that about her and saying, You're so good. You're so good at being intentional and finding ways to really involve her and really shape her. And Caitlin's like, you know, that's that's just what you guys see. And they're like, okay, we understand that at the end of the day, she is a toddler. She's a three-year-old. Yeah. So she has her moments, but really Caitlin does a very good job of being intentional about doing those things. And and it's really it really is inspiring. It kind of um there are times where I'm like, oh man, I gotta, I gotta get my butt in gear and and kind of get alongside her and be like, hey, how hey, how can I help? You know?

SPEAKER_04 24:23

Yeah. Well, we are bridges from our children, for our children to grow up from adolescence to adulthood and to become men and women of God. And that's I think that whole focus of that first point is that bridge of bridging them over and helping them as you cross that bridge to pick up those things that they're gonna carry into adulthood. And so I bet you Olivia will probably really, really enjoy reading. Oh, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 24:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

So, Perry, you mentioned that uh in your sermon that faith should be modeled, not just mentioned.

unknown 25:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

What are some practical ways that parents and spiritual leaders can create homes where faith feels authentic instead of forced?

SPEAKER_04 25:14

Oh, I have to brag on my wife now. That'll be that one. My wife is just such a wonderful, wonderful person that loves the word of God. And she by far outweighs me as far as her depth of some certain things about God's word. For example, she knows timelines and she knows details. That's more of her mind of how she works. And we've gone to Israel together, and she said and she's talked to the to the guides, and I'm going, what in the world are they talking about? And I have a doctorate, you know, and they get into that. So she understands and enjoys that, but every single Sunday morning, it's almost like when I'm walking out the door, she's preparing, you know, her final stuff for her her uh class that she does with uh with young adults. And uh anyway, it's she's always asking me questions. And every morning, though, I have watched her for years. I mean, without exception, every morning, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, she spends time. She gets up and she gets in God's Word, and my children have watched that uh for years, and uh from that she has modeled for them a true, genuine love for God's word. And it has instilled in them, and especially my girls, it has instilled in my girls the desire to be a godly woman, to seek to serve their husbands uh as a godly wife, and to um to raise their children in the word. And I am seeing the payoff of her modeling as it has transferred itself into incredible blessings, into the legacy that I think that she is personally leaving. And I think if if if her life ended today, she would she would stand before the Lord and God would say, Man, uh you really know me really well. Because she does. She she knows the Lord really, really well and deeply.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

One thing that uh sticks out in my mind is uh especially with children, more is caught than is taught. So you can speak to someone, but they catch on to more than you think. So making sure that what you're teaching them and your living uh and how you're living is very key to this. Um, I'm brought to Deuteronomy 6, you know, when um it says, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and your soul with and your might. And these words, they shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on the gates. So your life should be so filled and so riddled with Jesus that your kids are catching on to the outpouring of him in your life, not just that you bring them in and you sit them down and say, Okay, we're gonna read the Bible now. Um, you know, family discipleship is a lifestyle, not a moment. And so um really making sure that we are uh living out our faith in front of them. Um, you know, our faith is on the stage that they're watching. Um, and so uh making sure that we are living out our authentic faith, they will catch on to that. And like he said, not just mentioning our faith, but modeling the behaviors that we want them to see.

SPEAKER_04 29:35

Yeah, it's one of the things that uh said in the tr in the sermon is that when we direct kids' life, uh it's found in the heart of the home where love is lived out daily and truth is spoken consistently and it's where faith is modeled, not just mentioned. There is a big difference between what I would say is this the home that mentions Jesus, the home that honors and says, okay, it's Easter, it's Christmas, it's or it's even any given Sunday, okay, it's time to go to for children, it's time to go to Sunday school, it's time to go to church. But it's those Monday, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays when maybe perhaps uh it's modeled by like my mom and my wife getting up and praying every morning and reading God's word, and the kids see that they begin to say, okay, this must be really important because they're doing that. Or we stop before before we eat and we just pray together as a family, and you look over one of your children and say, Is there something that we could that you need us to pray about? Or would you like to lead us in prayer? I need you to pray for me today about this. Maybe there's a conflict in the home and you just want to get honest about it and just say, hey, you know what? Uh I'm gonna pray that God would help us to to just you know love each other better, that we would love each other well and uh we would make decisions and we would respond to one another when it's so easy to get beside ourselves and get emotional about things. Uh that we would we would pause and God would give us the ability. Sometimes you can have your kids pray for you. Well, that's one that'll get you right quick. Hey, will you pray for me and mom? We're not getting along, you know. But but uh try it on for size and see what they say. Thank God I was too young for that. But you know, those are some practical things. That's just being honest and transparent. And that'll help them say, okay, we're not always going to be on a hundred percent. We all make mistakes. We're sinners, we're we we you know, that are saved by grace. We're we're fallen people, but we have a God that we look to to transfer transfer his love and his grace to us, as well as uh, you know, that we would be changed by his presence inside our home. He's welcome here.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

And a question to ask yourself if you are wondering if, hey, am I doing well at this family discipleship thing, or am I really modeling this behavior? Is I got another alliteration for you. Is Jesus a focus of your home or is he just a feature? Is he is he just in picture frames, or is he is he on the tablet of your heart?

SPEAKER_04 32:43

I'm gonna start tagging out in the middle of the sermon. It's me like, you know, re championship wrestling. I'm gonna say chasen's gonna take it from here because he's got something in his mind, you know, uh, because that is that is really, really a good statement.

unknown 32:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

So um, you know, it's always good to really evaluate where you're where you're uh where you're at.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

Yeah, really is. It really is. And I think we all want to do that. And I think there's moms and dads out there that are looking at this moment and saying, man, am I really getting this done? And sometimes they feel very guilty. Sometimes they feel like they struggle. What do you think about people that feel that way? What would you offer that up? Since you're in the middle of raising uh a daughter from I mean, she's like two, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:31

Uh she's three.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Oh, well, I missed one year. Yeah, she just turned three. I remember. She just turned three. Yeah, she went to Texas for that. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Yeah, well, you know, and it kind of gets back to this command. It is not based on parental perfection. Um, you know, if if our goal was to be perfect, we would never reach it. So it's good to rest in the fact that we're gonna mess up. We are sinful man. Um, we live in an imperfect world and we are imperfect beings, but we've been saved by the perfect one. Um, and so I rest in the fact that, hey, I'm not gonna get it right all the time. My goal is to not get it right all the time. My goal is to be faithful. My goal is to, like you said, be present. And and sometimes I may not get it right, and maybe they'll remember that I didn't get it right, but they'll remember that I was there and that I I I tried.

unknown 34:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:32

What would you say to you guys? What would you say to somebody that's out there that may not have real have had a really good home life? And things just weren't, you know, as as it it wasn't the back when I was growing up, it would be the leave it to beaver world, you know. Um I I don't know who you I mean who I don't know who it would be that you would say, okay, they got it the perfect family, but probably all of us had somebody that we thought, man, um if if the it seems like they got it going on. Their families just got it, they're hitting all all cylinders. What would you say to somebody though that seems a little discouraged, like, okay, I didn't get that. Um how do they move on and begin to kind of maybe even some folks that are single that are looking at, hey, I want to get married, but they're afraid because they're like, I don't know if I can do this home life thing. Might be better to remain single. And a lot of people are doing that these days. They're just saying, hey, I'm just gonna stay away from this dynamic because it just seemed like it was too much growing up. What would you say to somebody like that?

Grace For Complicated Families

SPEAKER_01 35:46

Well, there's two, there's two kind of epidemics that are going on in our society. One is that remaining single or staying single later in life. Like I know my generation is staying single for longer. The the age of marriage is getting older and older and older. Um, the the amount of people who are having kids are going down.

SPEAKER_04 36:07

Um and some of them are saying, I don't even I'm opting out.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

I'm not even gonna mess with it because I don't want the uh perceived heartache that comes along with it because of something they've experienced in the past. Uh another thing that is happening is uh what's being called the no contact epidemic. And it's based on a disagreement that we have with our parents, we're going no contact, and we're just leaving them in the dust and saying we're gonna go do our own family thing. And there's this, there's this growing mentality of, and a bit of it I agree with is the the new nuclear family is you, your wife, and your kids. Yeah, and now your relatives are now your parents, their parents, etc. But there's kind of this detaching that's going on. Um, and and part of that is healthy, but there's the there's also the other side where we do miss out on this honor. And and the word honor here that uh I think you mentioned uh is it a kabod, kebed, yeah, uh and it and it means to to rever to grant them weight um and reverence. And so if you have a very complicated relationship with your parents, and I know I've experienced that, not gonna get into that, but I know that that there are complications that arise within families because of sin, because of the the people side of things. I would say err on the side of grace, err on the side of grace and and give them that weight anyway.

SPEAKER_04 37:45

Yeah, there's always something they have to bring.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 37:48

I mean, you may have to, you know, look at that and say, okay, there's some parameters that I'm gonna have in this relationship, especially if there's abuse involved. But I think um, but as much as you can live peaceably with all men. I that's kind of my verse. I don't know. What do you think, Trey? I mean, you're around a lot of folks. What do you think um would be helpful to maybe some of our listeners that are looking into, okay, where where do I go as far as maybe um you know, maybe things weren't quite as maybe I was a little disappointed with that rear view mirror.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

Yeah. Well, I mean, simply don't compare. You know, your situation is not the next man's situation. Uh just to be completely honest and completely straightforward. Um you know, your how you may how someone else leads in their relationship or how somebody else's relationship is, isn't gonna be the same exact way that I lead my relationship. The thing is we all have an ending, we all have a goal, and that end goal is to be more like Jesus. It is to love Jesus, it is to live by his word. So as long as you're doing that, stories are gonna look completely different, but the ending is gonna look the exact same as long as you follow the guidelines.

SPEAKER_04 39:05

That's really good because so easy it is to make this comparison and say, oh, well, this is but you don't understand because this situation is different. You know, I think we all deal with our own depravity when we look at our when it look in the mirror. And I think as well when you look in the w look through the window uh and you see into your parents of the past, you will there is it's kind of like putting a dot on the wall. It's so easy to see the dot as opposed to seeing the whole entire the the what's good there. And the Bible just says whatsoever things are good, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report. Think on these things. And I think sometimes people face Mother's Day, Father's Day, and they see it kind of as a downer day because maybe just things didn't go quite the way they want to. But listen, what are the things of good report? You know, what are those things that we can say, man, I really benefited from this? This was the moment that was a life-changing, shaping moment in my life, and my parents brought that to me. I think we all parents want our children to do that for us. So we have to do it for our parents too.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

Well, and that gets into the second half of this verse, which is um the blessing side of it, that our parents give us a blessing, and that our relationship, having relationship with your parents is always under the will of God, going to be a net positive. And uh, so we receive blessing from our parents, and we also need to consider the consequence. So in Exodus 21, Leviticus 20, Deuteronomy 21, in their context, in the context of the Israelites, dishonoring your parents and condemning your parents would bring death, like literal death and stoning. And so consider the consequence. So yeah, this is where we go behind this is the truth behind and beyond the sermon. Uh I'm not saying that uh if you disobey your parents today, you're gonna die, you know, because we do live under the new covenant, you know, just disclaimer. Um, but you know, we receive blessing, and and I would also pose this one last thing that um that God gives us the family unit to teach us more about the Christian life and to teach us more about himself. So look at this marriage allows us to understand covenant relationship. We see that the church is the bridegroom, or is that it they're they're the bride, and that that the groom is coming back one day. We understand more about Jesus and about the the the everlasting will of God because we understand marriage and vice versa. Parents, we can understand listening. We're given parents to understand listening and respecting authority, we understand the authority of God because we sit under the parents for all of our lives, and finally, I think God gives us parenthood to understand the sinful nature of man. So, for example, the amount of times I tell Olivia, do not do that, and she does it anyway, and then I get frustrated and I get upset, and I'm like, Did you not understand that I was telling you this to save you from something or to protect you from something? Or maybe I have something better in store. It is the same exact thing in our relationship with the Lord that that we sometimes get in our own way, we don't listen. And so it's kind of interesting as a father to kind of understand a little bit of the perspective of the Lord when he looks at us. It's easy to look at the Israelites and say, listen, you guys messed it up. It's easy to read through the book of Judges and see the cycle of judgment and returning to God and then falling again and be like, oh, they've really got it messed up. But we do the exact same things in our lives.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

So understand nobody comes from a perfect family. Some people were raised with incredible examples, and others carry deep wounds. But the beauty of the gospel is this God can redeem what What's broken, restore what's missing, and start a new legacy through you. Honor isn't about pretending people were perfect. It's about choosing to reflect the heart of Christ and who we love, forgive, lead, and live. And maybe the greatest reminder from this message is simply before God ever built a nation, He built a home. So never underestimate the power of one faithful life. Live for Jesus beside the walls of a family. Gentlemen, see you next week. Peace.

SPEAKER_02 44:45

We're glad you joined us for today's segment. We believe a life built on truth is a life that transforms everything. To stay connected, share this message, subscribe, or visit us online at Kennesoft First.church. We'll see you next time. Keep building your life on truth.