Covenant Over Convenience

We sit down with Jeff and Michelle Collins, Houston real estate leaders and marriage team members at Lakewood Church, for a real and practical conversation about how couples build trust, unity, and joy when life is anything but simple.

They share what changed everything for them: a clear “no Plan B” covenant mindset, plus non-negotiables that protect honor in a blended family. If you’re trying to navigate step-parent dynamics, co-parenting tension, or emotional triggers, you’ll hear strategies you can apply immediately.

If you want marriage help that’s honest, hopeful, and pracitical, press play. 

Please share this with a couple or friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review so more couples can find the plays that help them win their home game.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to the Marriage Game Plan Podcast where we help couples build healthy relationships through faith, love, and strategy. I'm George.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

And I'm Tondra, and we are so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

For over 15 years, we've been helping coach couples from NFL locker rooms to everyday living rooms on how to win in marriage, not just a vibe.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Whether you're newlyweds, seasoned teammates, or somewhere in between, this podcast is your bi-monthly huddle for real talk, practical plays, and fresh game plans to help you win your home game.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

And if you're single and hoping to be married one day, this is your podcast for practical insights and tools to help you enter into marriage with clarity, confidence, and focus.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

So grab your spouse or just your headphones.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

And let's build a championship level marriage together.

Welcome Jeff and Michelle Collins

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Hey, hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Marriage Game Plan Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Welcome back. We missed you.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

That's right. We always miss you guys, but we're always praying for you and for the success of your marriage team. We've got a great show today. We've got our friends uh Jeff and Michelle Collins. Now, Jeff and Michelle, they are real estate agents in the Houston area, and they have a great real estate team called the Collins Home Team, which I found that to be very interesting, right? We always talk about how to win your home game, and they have the Collins Home Team. They are real estate agents and they are known for serving families with integrity, with excellence, and with legacy in mind.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yes. And not only do they have an amazing real estate business, but they are also marriage leaders at Lakewood Church in Houston. That's right. And that's where they are helping couples have a strong, grace-filled relationship. Welcome, Jeff.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Jeff Michelle, welcome to the Marriage Game Plan Podcast. Yeah, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

It's our honor to be here. I mean, we just are we admire you guys and we're grateful for what you're doing for couples and families.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Yeah, always. We we have like-minded hearts over here, right? We want to build healthy homes, we want to help marriages, and we are on the same team. And so when we look at you guys and especially with our audience, now our audience is listeners that love marriage, but we also talk about marriage through sports themes. And so when we look at football games, in order for that football game to start, we have to have a kickoff.

Their Kickoff Story And Prayer

SPEAKER_00 2:30

So as we talk about your kickoff, tell us how your story began. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_05 2:36

Oh, I love this part. I love anybody that asks me this question. I always tell them, you know, I walked into this meeting that she was already uh an executive at, and I was there interviewing the company to see if I wanted to join. And she comes running up to me and she just undresses me with her eyes, and she goes, If there's anything that you need, I can help you. That's his version. That's my story.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

I was like, that sounds like a fantasy, Jeff, more than a reality.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

He was trying to run the play that wasn't even in the books. Anyway. Really, but I had we're uh we're a blended family. It's our second and last marriage. And uh, I had said a prayer and just told God that look, if you want me to meet somebody and you want me to be married again, I'm gonna serve you and I'm gonna work and at this US bank and I'm gonna work and serve you. If you want that, then you bring somebody to me. And at the moment I didn't even know what I was really saying, other than I was just making an inner valley him that it's this is just gonna be about me and you and these kids, and to work everything out. And he walked into that meeting thinking he was there to uh get a job, and God was like, This is just divine order and prayer.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Yep, I didn't realize that was in the playbook. Wow. Well, so I love that how you guys said

Why This Is The Last Marriage

SPEAKER_00 3:55

it. Michelle, you said it. You said that it was your second marriage, but your last marriage, right? Talk to us more about that, the determination that this is your last marriage.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

This is our last marriage because what what I understand now going forward, and I continue to learn and grow, is that this isn't about us just making each other happy. This is a covenant that we chose to make in front of God with God and said, look, we messed a lot of things up in the first one. We're gonna grow and we're gonna keep you at the center. And I'm gonna learn how to love and serve Him. Even when I do it wrong, I'm gonna go back to you and trust you that you gave me this marriage that I prayed for, and we're gonna figure this out together. We say that all the time, that this is our last marriage, because we need to let the universe and our words and our energy and the people around us to speak that over us too.

SPEAKER_05 4:45

It's another way of us saying that we trust you, God. Acknowledge that God put us together and there's growth in that growth and blessings in that covenant. And we don't take the approach of, well, you know, if it gets hard, we'll just start again. We know there's growth in it even through struggle.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

That commitment is an amazing guiding principle that you are governing your behaviors and actions and decisions through that principle of, though, this is it. You know, we don't have a plan B. We will figure out how to make this work, but getting out of this is not an option. That's a great guiding

Blended Family Boundaries That Protect

SPEAKER_01 5:21

principle. What other guiding principle or plays do you implement that are non-negotiable in your marriage?

SPEAKER_03 5:27

One of them that comes to mind, and I was talking to um, you know, the older we, the more seasoned we get when relationships with other couples with children, we're hearing a lot of different blended families. And even if it's their first marriage, we're hearing struggles in the season of parenting as they get older and decisions. And one thing that we didn't realize we knew we were, um it was a non-negotiable, even though Jeff said it very early on, is one of our children, you know, he said that Jeff couldn't come to his his high school graduation. I mean, he banned them from the whole school. It wasn't welcome. But what Jeff said is we will let this one go because we're just newly married, but this can't go forward. We gotta stand and trust the Lord and let him know that we're gonna make this all work. And four years later, Jeff was straddling all these seats in college for the same young man. And because he was now welcome because we did some really good things that we didn't know we were doing, but it was all the Holy Spirit and God, you know, helping us with these underlining things. That's one of them.

SPEAKER_05 6:29

And at the beginning, um, you know, in a blended marriage, this is this has always been my approach because when I was a young kid, I was introduced, thrown into didn't have a choice, into uh into blended marriages, and there was zero respect for me. There was abuse for me, there was no consideration to how I felt. So I'm walking into this relationship and this blended family going, I don't want to do that to these children. I want, I want there to be an understanding, I want there to be respect, and I want to acknowledge that I understand that I'm I'm the bad guy in this particular situation, walking into a brand new marriage, and all I could do, what I said, and this is this has been my theme from that point forward, from the beginning forward, is all I can do. This is me talking to the to the boys, do is I can love your mom the very best I can. That's all I can do. I'm not gonna try to change anything else in your life.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Sure. Well, that's you know, the the key thing that I'm hearing from you guys is, especially in a blended family sense, it's not just you two becoming one, but it's two different families. The marriage, the kids, maybe uh, you know, the extended families, having to understand that we've got to not just enter into this trustful relationship again, but we've got to believe the best. And sometimes that's hard, but yet it's doable.

SPEAKER_05 7:52

Yeah, I love it. Absolutely. And we always have the focus that, and this sounds a little um harsh. We always approached it where we came first. Well, it's God then us, God, God then us, and then then and then we worked through everything else. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

So what we and I also say, even if you're not a blended family, if it's your first marriage for even the two of you, you are blending two worlds. You're blending all of Tandra's upbringings and blessings and things that didn't work, and all of George's upbringings and blessings and things that didn't work that you were gonna change, and you're blending those two worlds together.

SPEAKER_06 8:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

So we're all a blended family. We just happen to bring a little bit more baggage when we're marriage to blended parts. So you said what are non-negotiables? We've never ever talked about each other to our children. Bad. We've never and now it's 13 years or ex-spouses. Yeah. My youngest son is made, our youngest son is married for about three years now. He's never talked bad about his wife to me. And I have issues, but it's just that rule that we started, and we said, Look, we will not. I have never once, and then another non-negotiable is they can never joke around and make fun of him or me. And what I mean by that, like one time, one son, and he was being funny, he's like, Look at Jeff's pants, do this. And I'm like, I stopped him and I said, Look, don't ever joke about him. Said, I know he goes, No, no, I care about him. And he realized the seriousness. We make fun of each other and we we joke around. We joke around his dad jokes and all that, but it's never ever gonna be something that's gonna ever try to hurt him or even be silly about him.

SPEAKER_05 9:29

There's not an edge to it.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Yeah, there's not an edge.

SPEAKER_05 9:31

Sure. But there's not an edge, there's no there's no ill intent.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Yes, yeah, yeah. I really like that because I hear that you all really prioritize honoring and respecting each other, and you instill that value in your kids to honor and respect and value each other. So I think a lot of couples as well as blended families could benefit from that being a non-negotiable, is we're not going to talk down, we're not gonna be condescending, we're not gonna have jokes or hostile humor, right? Because everything is cutting. So talk to us about, like, you know, how do you maintain that atmosphere of mutual honor and respect?

Covering Each Other With Prayer

SPEAKER_03 10:16

I think the one thing someone taught us early on, and I know the couple, um, you know, I'm gonna give her the credit, it's God and her. There's they um were in our marriage class, they were teaching, and one of the things they taught us early on was never ever let the day start without covering each other with prayer.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

And that's good.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

We would be in separate spaces when we first got married. He went off to do his thing. I went to do mine at work, and and we would always cover each other with prayer prayer. And at the beginning, it was wonderful. It was all the yumminess. Like, thank you, Lord, for blessing my husband. Thank you for taking care of.

SPEAKER_04 10:48

She's so sex at it.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Yeah, and then it was even times we were at odds with one another, we would still cover each other. And also with that, don't ever complain during that prayer because God's not gonna bless that. He's gonna look at us.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

God make my wife do this and stop doing this thing. Uh-uh, uh-uh.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Oh my gosh. Learned that, and then we also did that with the kids. They never leave us without covering them with prayer. Yes.

SPEAKER_06 11:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 11:18

So even if they're in a hurry, you know, they're 35 and 32 now.

SPEAKER_05 11:22

And the legacy created with our grandson.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Yeah, and they don't leave us because we're now visit them and they visit us. And even if they're in a hurry, even if they're late to a game or whatever it is, they're like, pray for me, pray for me, I gotta go. It's just this embedded thing that has continued to happen. Fast forward, we have our first grandson and he's three now. And since he was one year old, we've been praying over them, they've been praying over him. Now he's picking who's gonna pray over him when we're all together. He's like, I want Chipa to pray over me. And he's three. So it's that embedded layer of obedience that we did early on.

SPEAKER_05 11:56

And it's always it's always speaking life, it's always speaking blessing, it's always speaking uplifting it. It's not pointing out the things that are going wrong at the moment, it's not beating them down. It's it's always like, okay, yeah, that feels good. I sure I agree, I agree, bring it on, bring it on.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Sure. Yeah, listen, this is very rich, a rich discussion. I'm glad our listeners get to hear and see and learn from your life, your rich

Referee Vs Cheerleader In Conflict

SPEAKER_00 12:22

life. You talked about a few things that we talk about actually in our in our book, The Marriage Game Plan. By the way, guys, if you haven't picked that book up by now, go out and buy that book at Amazon or one of your local stores, maybe in your city or your town. And in chapter two, we talk about covenant, we talk about that God has given you a helper, we talk about prayer and things of that nature, and you guys are just really undergirding those same principles. But when it comes down to marriage, we understand we're on the same team, right? We're team Gregory, you guys are team Collins. But tell us how have you learned to honor and support each other through your differences as well as your strengths? Because sometimes our differences are what pulls us apart, and we think our strengths is what build us. But talk to us and tell us how do you honor each other and support each other, even though you're very different people.

SPEAKER_05 13:10

So I heard this from our mentors, our marriage mentors, and this sticks right along with the game plan theme is is in marriage, stop being each other's referee and be each other's cheerleader. Love it. Say that one more time, Jeff. Jeff, say that one more time. So in marriage for each other, stop being each other's referee because the referee looks to throw that flag at everything that you're doing wrong, breaking all the rules, start being each other's cheerleader.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

You know, and I tell Jeff when we do this in our marriage class, we say that's beautiful, what Jeff said, and it's the truth. But when the real heat has been turned up and you're angry and you're mad, how do you do that? How do you go back into that? And we know this that, you know, there's there's a space when you're arguing, one will back up. Jeff tends to back up a lot and I tend to move forward. And it really heats him up. I mean, because he wants time to be able to just process and he wants me to stop coming at him. And then I have to remember like back away and get talk from here. If we're having this discussion on the island, or he's just heated about something that I said wrong, or I came at him too strong. Then I just have to look at him. And one of us, hopefully in that moment, have to say, look, we're not okay right now, but we're always gonna be on one team. What can we do right now to just calm each other down? And usually it's prayer. I mean, there's times Jeff said, Can we pray together? And I'm like, No, I need to wash these dishes because I'm touching me and I just don't want him touch my hands. I don't want to put it, but it's just the fight, it's the pride, it's the ego, it's all of that. And um, the minute he prays or I pray, I mean, I'm start crying. It's just ever all that junk is gone. And there's a little trick we started someone taught us. He said, It's a spirit that has come in and is trying to get you to continue to fight in that spirit. He said, Open the door and say you are not welcome here. And it was silly at first, and I did it. Do you remember the first time I did it? You just looked at me. Jeff didn't say one word. Yeah, Jeff didn't say one word because it's weird and it's different. But the minute you start doing that, you start laughing and thinking, like, okay, now it's not welcome here.

SPEAKER_05 15:20

So not only are we just breaks the the tension. Not only are we inviting God to definitely be a part of that conversation, we're we're telling the enemy they're not invited and they're not in this house, and it's psychologically it's changing the environment and changing our our our responses typically. Yeah. And one of the one of the ways to to answer your question for me is I always have to say, What is her intent? What is the intent behind her coming at me like, what's the intent? Why is she mad? Why is she hurt? And and that's because she can be very aggressive, but behind it is love and kindness and wanting to just try to get it figured out.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Sure, sure.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

I'm aggressive with my food, I'm aggressive, I'm aggressive with it. It's excitement, it's it's passion.

unknown 16:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Yeah, you know what I'm hearing from that? I'm hearing that God's wired both of you differently, your personalities, how you respond, how you react. And yet God doesn't change that because we get married, but we have to learn to work with each other, right? Because we're still individuals, but we're on the same team. So we have to. I love what you said about you got to cheer each other on and not just call the red flags on each other. I mean, I think that's one of the best things that I've learned from you guys, at least so far on our on our call here.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Yeah, for sure. And I think that's I think that is going to resonate with a lot of couples because we are different. And a lot of times we want to reject how we're different, right? Um, but we have to learn how to influence each other in the difference and make our marriage stronger because now we've got, you know, a more well-rounded approach to marriage because we're allowing each person to thrive in the way that they make us better as a couple. So I think this is definitely gonna resonate with a lot of couples. Couples face a lot of challenges. Um, so it's not just learning how to be one in the marriage, but there's some external things that couples will have to face in their marriage as they move

Working Together Without Losing Connection

SPEAKER_01 17:26

forward. So we call that facing opponents, right? We got we all have to face our opponents if we're gonna win in in our marriage. So, what are some challenges that have tested your marriage and how have you faced them together and overcome them?

SPEAKER_05 17:39

Working 24-7-365. Um, if you want to advance your relationship in a very quick manner, work 24-7, 365 with your spouse.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

I think that um we had two separate worlds. We would separate during the day for about a good eight to ten hours. And Jeff is words of affirmation, and so am I. And we're also physical touch would be number two. So we like to rub the shoulders and say, You're wonderful, you're handsome, you're great. And then all of a sudden we would come back. I would send them texts during the week and say, You're wonderful, whatever your meeting you're in, they're lucky to be with you. When we started to work with me, and together, I wasn't sending them text message. I'm like, why are you doing that? What's taking us wrong? I remember like, I was like, so it did not happen. So that was the the wrong way to do it. But what I learned, Tandra, is we talk a lot, us women. I do. I talk a lot with Jeff. You don't intentionally ask good enough questions.

SPEAKER_06 18:36

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

When you ask good enough questions, you get better answers and you get more depth in your relationship. And I would point out stuff that he was doing wrong, or why wasn't he doing it this way? I was talking a lot and I wasn't digging enough and deep enough. And like what bothers you about that that you haven't proceeded forward? And then I found out he said, because it's 200 pages, you're gonna put George and Tondra in a position where they have to sign all these rights away just to buy this house, and I'm not comfortable with it. So then I knew he was analytical and a learner, and I learned more about his Clifton Straight Finders. I learned how he processed. So I won't give him anymore a two-page, 200-page document because he was gonna sit on it, not because he didn't want to do it, it's because he didn't know how to proceed forward without protecting you.

SPEAKER_05 19:23

Right. And or frame frame the task in a way that my analytical self understands the importance and the choice that we have. The choice was they they really have no choice but to sign the document if they want to move forward. And clarifying the vision. Clarifying the vision was a huge part of that.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

Well, have you guys heard of the Clifton Straint Finders? Sure, yes. So my top the the thing is that you get five ten top gifts that you have that God gave you, you really, really live in your top five. Well, what happens is in most marriages, Jeff's top five were my bottom five of the gifts. And what I started to realize is saying instead of saying we're different, I said, if you bring your five and my five, instead of us focusing on me focusing on five gifts, I have ten. If I learn to master yours, then I have all ten, and those five are no longer things that I'm I'm never gonna master those bottom five. But I utilize my bottom five because God gave me somebody with those gifts. And it's how to use it right together to be able to understand and be able to move forward. It's the same with money. We're totally different with money. And when he answers a question and he answers it with a little bit of deepness and anger, instead of me getting offended, I'm like, oh wait, he looks at that money problem differently. He's coming at it with protecting eyes. I'm coming out about let me bless you and give it away. So then we can discuss it and understand. Because now that we've taken these tests and really dive deep, I understand him better. And I'm under he used to shake his head when we would get in the argument. Here's a perfect example. We would have heated fellowship and he would be shaking his head, and I'm like, I'm telling you the truth. And I would get super heated. And then we sat down. I said, Tell me what happens in the moment and what causes the nod of the head.

SPEAKER_05 21:15

The shaking of the head, like I'm saying no.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

And he never told me this. We were 10 years into our marriage, and he said, I'm not saying no to you, I'm saying no to the enemy because he's saying that's oh, this is a time it's over now. Oh, now now she's oh, this is it. This is over. And I'm like, You couldn't share that with me? I'm like, that but it's just men took some stuff away and they don't want to be vulnerable, not because they don't want to be, it's because they don't know how to be sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Yeah. I love that, like maintaining that air of under uh your goal is to understand each other more and more and to ask questions and not just re not just react to how they're reacting, but to seek that curious understanding of. Of what are you feeling? What are you thinking? What are you experiencing through this? Is a very powerful way to face your opponents because that will make you teammates, right? Against the common enemy versus letting whatever external opponent come in and cause you now to become enemies and not on the same team.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

I I love this theme that you guys have. It's not just you and your marriage, but you also know God's in your marriage, but you also know there's an opponent who is trying its best to make you argue or to get you to not feel like you're on the same team. Or to just go at each other, right? That's the easiest thing that we can do is just join the fight where the enemy's already battling us. We join and we just sort of compound that with

Losses That Tested Their Team

SPEAKER_00 22:44

each other. I think I think our listeners today are gaining so much information that's helpful for them to not just know that they're not in their marriage alone, but they have God. And if you're out there listening today and you never invited God into your marriage, maybe this is a great time for you to just stop and pause and just say, God, come into my life and help me in my marriage and help me to communicate better and then kick the enemy out. One is invite God in, but the other one is to kick the enemy out and to say, you will not destroy what God has put together. And so we understand this is that not only do teams win on the fields or in the arenas, but sometimes teams go through losses. Now, you guys look great together, you have a successful real estate business, but I know there's been a few tough losses. Can you just share a season that you felt like a like you were like you had a loss, and how did you recover and grow from that loss that you felt?

SPEAKER_03 23:41

There's been there's been several. I mean, I'll I'll talk about the loss that we had is when we merged our two worlds together. This was a marriage loss. You know, Jeff was very well respected and very well loved and very well perceived in his old role in corporate America. When he came into my world, it was totally different. We're entrepreneurs, we work in a small space, and there was a lot of pain growing and understanding each other. We spent our first year working together with our coach, it's a business coach. We and we paid him a lot of money every month, and all we did was argue with him and argue work. And so finally we sat down and came up with a plan, a game plan to make these roles work. That was one loss because he's he built this business in his own, and now he stepped into this. And if we would have given up, we wouldn't have been able to have what we have today. A hundred percent. Jeff would never take that role back, his old role. He loves where he's at, and we talk about that. But then there's bigger losses. You know, when our parent one of our parents was so close to his mother, she was the the most important woman in his life. And when he lost her, well, next to you. Well, I mean, I mean, beside before me, she was the first woman that God let you love, and you had a tight relationship with her. And not only did he lose his mother and his brother all within 18 months, those were that was his whole family. That was a lot of things.

SPEAKER_05 25:02

Yeah, that's my whole family. That's the three of us.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

Oh, having that.

SPEAKER_05 25:07

I mean, because you know, that that just rolls right back to to what we've got. That just rolls, that just rolls right back to what we've got between us. Uh Shell shifted very very eloquently and very gracefully from her passionate fiery self to my safe place. And um so that that was was a real safe place for me to be. And the other piece that when we talk about one of the one of the quote unquote losses, a temporary loss, a temporary kickback, was in our relationship when we first started working together. I was used to having this cheerleader going crazy for me on the sidelines as I'm winning and I'm scoring touchdowns, I'm using sports analogies, to turning into the head coach screaming and yelling at me, you know, breaking me down. I was breaking me down. I I didn't want to be broken down, but the goal was to make me a better player. And I thought I lost my best friend, and I said that straight to her face, and that was a real tough place for me. I mean, I I broke down crying, and I'm not a crier. I broke down and said, Hey, I'm I'm losing my best friend here. This is not working.

unknown 26:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

And what happened in the relationship because I'm so high strong and so positive. I gave him a whole 10 seconds of empathy, and then I jump into like, are you kidding? I'm right here. Do you not see me? And then we just immediately go back into our negative programming. We had to stop and say, okay, what's happening? Here's the big, the big piece where I was going though was that we were leading and coaching and leading people, and we were fighting behind closed doors. We were probably five years into the marriage ministry at this point, and I loved it. We both loved it. And now he came into my world of work, and we didn't want to go to our leaders and tell them we were fighting behind closed doors because I didn't want them to take away what we loved doing. And then finally, as we started to pray together, we went to them, they're like, Oh, we know you're fighting behind closed doors. We're waiting for you to do this. And when everything broke, and then everything starts to shake and everything starts to fall apart. But then that's when the real blessing comes because you can see miracles behind that. It's exposing what you're doing. And that's the one thing I think in our marriage classes that we get a lot of is there's so much transparency. It's great to look good, smell good, and act good, but when you get into the real meat of we're still struggling with this, 15 years into this marriage group, we're still transparent. They're like, you give me permission to also be real and be able to heal from that place.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Yeah, yeah, that's so great. And what I'm hearing a lot of is you didn't do this by yourself. Like you had a community, you had a support system, and and they were waiting there to support you and guide you through your relationship because marriage is not like it's a one and done, it's a it's an evolving type of thing as life's ups and downs happen, and we need

Community And Mentors Speed Up Growth

SPEAKER_01 28:12

people. So, how has it impacted you to have such a supported community and how has it really made your marriage what it is today?

SPEAKER_03 28:21

Well, you know, that is such a such a big beautiful part of a successful life and family because we um have now been going to the same church for the last 15 years and um it's non-negotiable. I mean, we don't discuss it. It's like like brushing our teeth. We know every Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_05 28:39

Even if we're at a birthday party till 12 o'clock at night, we're like, we're getting up, going to church tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Yeah, and someone has one of the group from our marriage leaders had a birthday party, and most of them were all in leadership or like getting up and going to church in the morning. It's not that we discussed it, it became something that just became a part of our existence. And I think what happens, there is a thing that we've learned early on, and enjoyment and satisfaction and merging it with other people become a solid piece of exceeding happiness and joy. And we just taught on this everlasting joy. So what happens is it's contagious, right? So as we go all the time and see the same people, that same joy and love and prayer is that contagious thing that feeds through all our community.

SPEAKER_05 29:22

I agree a hundred percent. I also have a tendency to look at things from 30,000-foot view. And in the simplest ways that I can explain the answer to the question is if we hadn't been blessed, if we hadn't made the decision to surround ourselves with the mentors, with the people smarter than us, people that have been in marriages much longer than us, that we would probably be five to 10 years behind in our growth, in our in our in our in our work, in where we choose to be, in the things that we choose to pursue. And the reason why I say that is because we have mentored, we have observed, we have coached other couples that have chosen not to not to follow that same guideline, that same playbook, and they keep going through the same struggles, they keep falling back to the same old arguments, they keep falling back to the same mistakes in their marriages, hurting each other one way or another, and not positioning themselves to grow and to evolve. And because the the it's it's not unknown in Christian society that God will give you what you are able to handle. When you evolve, when you grow through that, He gives you more. That's right. Then you work through those challenges and He gives you more.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:47

On every class, Jeff and I we're like, because we sit, you know, we only teach once a month, and we sit the other three weeks, and we're the student. 15 years later, you know, I'm texting dad and Jeanette. I'm like, can I have every slide? Can I have every note? Because dissect it for us. And I'm like, and we'll come back home. We're like, did you what really grabbed you today?

SPEAKER_05 31:08

Ask great questions about that.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

What really because this what this is what moved me. We're constantly trained to, we're being coached and trained underneath that. We're never gonna be the expert.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

Absolutely. I love that. And for our listeners out there, if you are going through a tough time, ask for help. You do not have to do marriage in isolation. That's not the best way to do marriage. We never outgrow learning how to do marriage, it's an ongoing process. So I know marriage is intimate and it's private, but you have to open your marriage up if you want to grow as a couple. So that's my encouragement

Alignment On Money And Daily Roles

SPEAKER_01 31:47

to you. One other thing is like, how do you, as a couple, communicate alignment when you're making decisions or having conflict? How do you communicate alignment to each other?

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Well, I want to talk about the first time we're talking about.

SPEAKER_05 32:00

So, first of all, she always talks first. So I'm a great listener.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

I love how you brought the alignment and money um when we were first married. He made this spreadsheet. Now, I didn't know really, I didn't know how he operated the money at this point, but he made a spreadsheet and um and brought it to me. And he said, This is our household expenses, this is what we're tiding, this is what we've been spending on. In this bottom category, I don't have anything to do with it, and this is how much went out of it. Basically, he told me I was spending too much money.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

I was like, How long did this take you to make?

SPEAKER_03 32:34

I'm like, you couldn't just come and tell me because I operate at such a fast speed. But I think that as we look at things and understand, he operates that way before he ever comes and tells me something, he has to know everything about it. I just shoot, then I go back and say, Oh, I should have aimed, but he's different. He sets it up, he makes the play, does this, and why? So I think that we just learned. I kind of lost my train of thought on that about how we operate on that.

SPEAKER_05 33:01

We really acknowledge each other's strengths.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 33:04

And I really think that that's where you were going with it. Oh, yes, that's where I was and when you acknowledge each other's strengths, it's a great way to approach each other in decision making, in dealing with issues or challenges, or coming up with new ideas that that the other person may have resistance to. When there's when there's uh a question about spending a lot of money on something, she comes to me, low voice, um, acknowledging that I'm probably initially gonna not be real comfortable with the decision, lays out all the reasons why making that financial decisions in the long run will save us more money. Yeah, just a win. That is a huge win. And because we're we're playing in each other's strengths. That's the answer to that question is coming into alignment instead of here's the person I am, I'm aggressive, I'm passionate, and I'm just gonna over this, whatever this is, acknowledge the strengths that we operate in and approach it with grace and love as much as we possibly can.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Jeff's numbers and money and finances, and he's paid our bills. And in my previous relationship, I was the one that paid the bills. And so now I tell Jeff, we were sitting talking and laughing one day, and I was giving him a compliment. I said, I love that you love to pay bills. He said, I don't love the pay bills. He said, I do it because I don't like a late fee, and I never thought of that. And I have this joke with my friends that I've never paid a bill eight because I've never paid a bill. Because Jeff Jeff's also never washed dishes. It's years Jeff doesn't wash dishes.

SPEAKER_05 34:43

Maybe once.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Maybe once. Maybe once. So those are things he doesn't enjoy that. So then I wash them or I put them in the dishwasher. So we've learned what we like and don't like, but Jeff will do toilets and vacuum. So then I'm like, so those are things you understand and you become a balance to it and say, okay, that this will work.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

Sure, sure. That's awesome. You guys are hilarious, by the way. Just just looking at your makeup and and how you respond to each other, and and and I love how you banter uh to across each other and things of that nature.

Building A Faith Filled Legacy

SPEAKER_00 35:18

Hey, listen, you you guys have the Collins home team, right? And you're all about helping not just to for families to buy a home to live in forever, but to create legacies when it comes down to the next 30 or 40 years, and Jeff and uh Michelle and Jeff are no longer here. What legacy do you hope to leave for your family, your kids, maybe your church, maybe people who know you in business? What legacy do you want people to learn from your union together?

SPEAKER_03 35:47

I think the number one thing is that God is the most important thing in our life, and there's nothing you can't do or accomplish with him in your life by making him number one. And I think the legacy I want to leave is that there's always hope. There's always hope for your marriage, there's always hope for you to get healthier, there's always hope for a second chance, there's always hope for you to be able to be happier and more joyful and to be able to love everyone around you. There's always hope. And more than anything else, I I want my children and my grandchildren and everyone to say is that she loved Jesus and she seen Jesus through her.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Oh, amen.

SPEAKER_05 36:26

And that that everything that we did as individuals, as a couple, was through the eyes of Jesus. And his love and his tenderness, his tenderness and his quiet strength. If I had anybody remember a legacy about me, it would be quiet strength as through the eyes of Jesus in everything I do, everything I teach, everything I talk about for our sons, for our grandchildren, that that Papa and Jeep and Grandpa just emulated what they would expect or think that Jesus, how Jesus would come and wrap their arms around.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

Amazing. I love that. So sweet.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

Yeah, I think I think legacy is one of the things in life that people don't build towards in a sense. We want to, you know, leave our caves or we want to leave certain things for our families, but that word legacy means a lot more than just financial things. It's the eternal things, it's the things that we want our kids to emulate our marriage. We want them to emulate how we love one another, how we forgave one another, and how we had intense fellowship, but yet we still learn to be on the same team. Jeff and Michelle, you guys have been spectacular today. Thank you guys for coming on our show. You guys get the award for doing it big and being on the same team.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Yes, thank you. And we have enjoyed you sharing your story. Thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable. And I know that our listeners got so many good nuggets, and you're touching lives and couples by sharing your story. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 38:02

Thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_03 38:03

Thank you guys for what you're doing. Thank you for your book. Thank you for loving people. Thank you for showing up. And thank you for being God's hands and feet to so many, including us.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Oh,

How To Connect with Jeff and Michelle

SPEAKER_01 38:13

thank you.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

Well, we try to do our part, but listen, we want our listeners to know where to find you guys, right? Maybe they're in the Houston area, maybe they're looking for a house or a home, or maybe they want to just find out about the Lakewood marriage ministry that you guys have going on every Sunday after church, whether it's online or in person. Tell us how we can find you guys.

SPEAKER_05 38:30

Info at collinskw.com.

SPEAKER_06 38:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 38:35

Or Jeff at CollinsKW.com. Or Michelle. Michelle at collins.com.

SPEAKER_03 38:42

And the one thing is that if you don't live in the Houston area and you want to be part of our marriage um, you know, group, we have if you text 7737 with the word marriage to 77377, you will get a link twice a month. We teach on Zoom at 6 p.m. Central Time. And that's just a way to connect. And we have about a hundred couples from all around the world that come on to that Zoom link every twice a month. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

That's so awesome. Tandra and I, we've had the privilege to be on that call with all your many uh listeners from around the country and people who would tune into your Zoom meetings. It's such life-giving, it's such educational, and it leaves you walking away with practical tools. And I think that's what couples need during this time. Jeff and Michelle, thank you so much for being on the Marriage Game Plan podcast. And for all of our listeners, we want to let you know that we are praying for you in this season like never before. Hey, go out. Make it a great week. God bless you. Hey, thank you for tuning in to the Marriage Game Plan Podcast, where we believe every couple can win with the right strategy.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

If today's episode encouraged you, please follow or subscribe and share it with a friend as it helps more couples find our podcast.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

And if you haven't grabbed a copy of our brand new book called The Marriage Game Plan, it's about developing a winning strategy for marital success. Hey, go out and grab a copy at your online favorite bookstore today.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

It is full of real talk, practical plays, and powerful tools to strengthen your marriage, which will help you win your home game.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

As you go, stay tuned for our new coaching groups starting this fall.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

And if this podcast is blessing your life, consider supporting the mission at Journeyforlifenow.org.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

Remember, we're building championship marriages one play at a time. See you in the next episode.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

See ya.