Alignment With Self

Success often answers many questions.

But for those who have achieved much, one remains:

What is missing?

In this episode of Sanctum — The Conscious High Life, Oluwatobiloba examines a perspective rarely discussed: perhaps the issue is not that something is missing, but that our choices, priorities, and daily lives have drifted from what matters most.

This conversation explores the importance of living with clarity, intention, and consistency—particularly during periods of change and evolution.

Inside the episode:
• Navigating transitions with confidence and composure
• Rebuilding trust in your own judgment
• Understanding the difference between living intentionally and living reactively
• How your habits, investments, standards, and decisions shape the life you experience
• Why values such as integrity, kindness, courage, and joy should inform every major decision
• Recognizing the hidden costs of burnout, constant striving, and internal conflict

Rather than offering another framework for success, this episode invites a more meaningful question:

Does the life you've built truly reflect the person you intend to be?

For those seeking a more considered approach to leadership, legacy, personal refinement, and intentional living, Oluwatobiloba offers a Bespoke Private Advisory, tailored for individuals committed to building lives of substance, excellence, and lasting impact.

Private Consultation

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What is a relationship with yourself? A relationship with yourself is daily connecting with yourself and actually looking at where you are, if this is where you're supposed to be or where you're going, and are you moving? Are you in alignment with who you are? Welcome to this episode of Sanctum the Conscious Eye Life. What is missing? Yes, what is missing? My name is Oluwatubiloba, and I am the founder of Queenoluatobiloba1.com, a bespoke holistic advisory where I work exclusively in a private one-to-one capacity with select clientele. In this episode, before I go into this episode, what is missing? Take a moment. What is missing for you right now? Is there anything that feels like it's missing? It's okay if something feels like it's missing. You know, sometimes we can find our keys, it feels like it's missing, and then we'll find it and it's there. So in this episode, what is missing? What feels like it's missing? Is there something? Maybe it's a relationship. It could be a relationship with yourself that feels like it's missing. Sometimes in our life, we are going from one way of doing things, of being, of living, to a different way of being of living. And in that transition moment, it might feel like there's something missing in ourselves, it might feel like there's something missing within a relationship with ourselves. So you could be going through a transition, going through a change, going through a new career, a new move, and it feels like something is missing. Or it might be that you're in a relationship. This is true, relationship comes to an end, and your relationship with your partner is coming to an end. And it feels like there's something missing because you're going to be leaving. But actually, it might be the beginning of something else, it might be the beginning of a new way of doing things, of a new relationship that you actually would love to be in at a stage of your life. So, welcome to this episode of Sanctum the Conscious Eye Life. What is missing? Yes, what is missing? What if there is nothing missing? What if what is missing is already there, but you've you're just not saying it? What if what is missing is a relationship with yourself? Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good day to you wherever you are in the world. My name is Ulua Tobiloba, as I said before, and I am the host of this sanctum. I don't like to call it a podcast because it's more than a podcast, is an exclusive, intimate space where you take time to yourself to listen to this and receive this from a place of receptivity and connect with it and see if there's something that resonates with you on this episode that actually activates you and changes things in your life. What is a relationship with yourself? A relationship with yourself is daily connecting with yourself and actually looking at where you are, if this is where you're supposed to be or where you're going, and are you moving? Are you in alignment with who you are, with what your core values are, with your standards? It is very important that we do this on a daily basis because the world is so fast, it's so quick right now. We all know that we have many things to do, and sometimes we don't even have enough time to check in with ourselves. We don't have enough time to slow down and check in. How are we doing? Are we in alignment with our core values, with our systems, with our standards? Are we in alignment with those? And what areas of our life do we need refinement? And the truth is, this is not even about anything. The truth is sometimes we need to refine our behaviors. Sometimes we are behaving in ways that we're not supposed to be behaving. That's okay, there is no shame in that. It's really just understanding I am not being the kindest person I can be. Maybe this is something that I can refine and upgrade it to where I want it to be. Yeah, it takes some work, it takes some determination, it takes some commitment, or maybe you're just not that loving person that your partner is desiring, that your partner is asking for, and you love to be that loving person for your partner. And it's okay to go, you know what, this is an area of my life I want to refine, and this is something that I do in the Bispo-Holistic Advisory, very real human connection, really looking at the things in your life, your values and your standards, and actually maybe releasing some of them, maybe adding new ones, removing the things that are not necessary to bring the ones that remain in to its higher standard, to its higher state. So, in the Bespoke Holistic Advisory, I work one-on-one with select clientele. It is a space where it is discrete, it is private, it is a human interaction one-on-one like this. And sometimes I go to work with a clientele wherever they are in the world. This is the type of work that I do, and I love what I do because in the work that I do, many people begin to realize that we can refine things and then we can also live a life of purpose. What are we here to contribute? What do we really care about? What do we deeply love? What is deeply meaningful to us? Because beyond the success, beyond the wealth, all of us, each and every one of us, we're here to contribute something. Whether we're here to contribute empowerment in our communities, in our business, whether we're here to contribute love to the people, to our family, in our relationship, we're all here to contribute something. So, these are some of the things that we really look at in the Bespoke Holistic Advisory. To look at every area of your life and bring balance. You know, if one area is taking so much resources from you, maybe it's time to put some resources in other areas of your life so that's balance in your profession, in your vocation, in your relationships, even the relationship with yourself, you know, in your relationship with your family, in the way you enjoy life. At the end of the day, we're living a beautiful life, but every day it's important for us to know that we're actually living the life that we truly, truly choose to live. The difference between living in alignment and living out of alignment is intention. Living intentionally. Are you living intentionally? Are your actions, your words, your thoughts, your systems, your investment, your own? Is your environment in alignment? What you're creating, what you're developing, what you're growing, what you're engineering, is it in alignment with who you are, with what your values are? Because what your values are is who you are, it's your essence. Is it in alignment, or is there somewhere unconsciously where it's out of alignment? Say, for example, if you care about peace in the world, are your investment investing in places where they are creating systems that are causing violence in other parts of the world. We have to be real, we have to be honest with ourselves. If this is what you want to invest in, that is fine, that's your choice. But really, you have to look at what are the things that you're in alignment with and are your actions, are your investments, are your resources, is your life in alignment with those? Otherwise, you're living out of alignment, and this might be causing friction in different areas of your life. Because if we don't live true to who we are, that is when people go through burnout, perfectionism, the wrong kind of because perfectionism can also really help to create excellence. But when the perfectionism where you cannot get the things that you are doing in a state out, and it really, really disturbs your essence, then that's when perfectionism is gone into the shadow, like you call it sometimes. So, what relationship are you in with yourself on a daily basis? Just take a moment, even as you're listening to this podcast, take a minute to pause and just check in with yourself. What's your relationship with yourself? Is it one of criticism? Is it one of judgment? Is it one of anger, frustration, tiredness? Or are you really in a great relationship with yourself when you know that you are in alignment, you are living the life that you actually want to be living now? You are living the life you actually want to be living now. A relationship with yourself really allows you to connect with that essence of what is truly important to you and to leave that, to live that, to live that in every way, to live that in every single way. This is the most important thing. Life is very precious. I say it this way, life is precious. Every day is to look at our life and look at are we doing the things that we actually want to be doing? Are we living according to who we know we are? Are we showing up with love? If you're somebody that is love, are you showing up with love? Or are you allowing all the pressures to take you out of alignment of love? If you're somebody that is powerful, are you showing up in your power or you're allowing pressure to allow anger and frustration and all the nonsense to come out? So, this is real talk in the Bispock Hallistic Advisory that we go through and we have. What you stand is that a lot of people don't even know that. Maybe you don't know what you deeply care about. If you don't know what you deeply care about, you're just going to be leaving not intentionally, but when you know what you deeply care about, that's when you leave intentionally. For example, I deeply care about kindness, so I make sure every day of my life I am being kind. Not everybody has to be kind, but I love being kind. And when I am not kind, I make sure I come back to being kind. If I'm not kind to somebody, it's very simple, but it's very important to me. I make sure that I go back and correct that if I can. This is living in alignment. Another example of my core values is love. I love unconditionally everybody in my life. So when people do things, I easily forgive them because I choose to love unconditionally. Another area of my life that is important is wealth. So I put a lot of my resources, energy, and wealth. So again, this is really identifying what are your core values, what are your standards, and how do you live in alignment with that? It's very easy for a lot of people to know what their core values and standards are. Sometimes even companies write them out, but actually to leave them, it's another different thing. A lot of people intellectualize what their core value and standards are, but part of the work that we do together is for you to actually leave them out, actualize those on a daily basis, and that's when you become kindness, that's when you become love, that's when you become wealth, that's when you become joy. You know, it doesn't matter where you are in your life, your core values and your standards are what really defines who you are. It is how people are going to describe you if they never see you again, if they spend time with you, they'll remember that essence of who you are. You know, one of my core values is joy. No matter what is happening in life, I go back to joy, I make sure that I live in alignment with joy so that everything around me can vibrate, so that everything alive around me can still be light. Because life is gonna happen, you know, life is gonna happen, things are gonna happen. So, if you are interested in this conversation, if you'd like to know more, if you like to live in alignment with your core values, if you like to even identify what are your core values, what are your standards, if you'd like to refine, what are you refining your style? This is something I love as well, refining your style, or leaving your purpose, or leaving legacy, you know what is your legacy, what do you want to leave behind? What do you want people to know you for when you're gone, whether that's your family or your friend, what impression, what memories, what things do you want to leave behind? I've loved sharing this episode of Sanctum, the conscious high life, what is missing about relationship, and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode. Goodbye for now.