EP8: Children's Mental Health (feat. Rickiesha from CYP Services)

⭐ Episode 8 of The Select Podcast is here! ⭐

This month, David sits down for an incredibly important and timely conversation with Rickiesha, the CEO and Founder of The CYP Services.

In this episode, we dive deep into the vital connection between creativity and wellbeing, exploring how the arts can be a powerful ally for young people in today's world.

In this episode, David chats with Rickiesha about:

• The Journey: From how Rickiesha first started CYP Services to where she is now at the heart of youth support.
• Creativity & Wellbeing: Why creative outlets are essential for supporting children’s mental health.
• The Mental Health Toolbox: Practical techniques and different strategies you can start using today to support your child.
• The Social Media Effect: A candid look at the impact of digital platforms on the younger generation.
• Being a Positive Role Model: How showing up for ourselves and modeling healthy habits allows us to better support our children and our community.
• A Brand New Segment: "The First 5 Minutes" — David presents Rickiesha with different scenarios, and she shares her expert advice on how to handle those crucial first five minutes of a situation. 🧠💡

Whether you’re a parent looking for tools to support your child or a performer seeking balance, this episode is an essential guide to nurturing the mind and the heart.

🎙️ New Episodes Every Month! — be inspired, dream big, and celebrate the power of performance!

Each episode features conversations with teachers, facilitators, and industry professionals, offering insights into the creative process, performance tips, and the journey from how they started to where they are now! Discover how you can support your child’s growth at home, build their confidence, and nurture their creativity. Whether you’re an aspiring performer, a proud parent, or simply a lover of the arts, this is your all-access pass to stories and the heart of people at the centre of the entertainment industry! 🎭

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Hello and welcome to the next episode of the Select Podcast. My name is Mr. David, and today we have an extremely special guest. We have Rikisha here with us. Hi Rakeisha. Hey. Rikisha is from CYP Services, and it is a community interest company specializing in trauma-informed neurodiversity and foaming therapy for children, young people, and adults. That's a lot you got going on, Rikisha.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Well, yeah, it's really important that we include the whole system, so that's why. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Tell us a bit about you then, Rakeisha. What how did you start in the world of mental health?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Oh wow. Okay. So I originally trained to be a speech and language therapist. Oh wow. Um, however, after doing my dissertation, I was like, yeah, this is not for me. This is not for me. But interestingly enough, my um dissertation was about the mental health needs of the youth offending population. Oh wow. Um, and actually the results came back that the mental health of, you know, young offenders, those at risk, are extremely, extremely high. And it's a thing where it needs early intervention. Yeah. Um, so I kind of stepped away from that and was like, before we maybe deliver any form of therapy, what is it that they need? Then I found my way back into schools, which is surprising because I couldn't wait to leave school. Couldn't wait to leave school. Um, and interestingly enough, I was in schools working like doing various roles, but the students would always come to me. They would always come to me, always wanted to speak, just have a little chit-chat with lots of different things that were happening. And actually at the time, I just felt like I was just listening. I now know that listening is a very important skill, very much needed. Yeah. Um, so yeah, so and then I dibbed and dabbled and like some part-time counseling courses. I also am from the field of like child protection, safeguarding as well. So a lot of my work very much mirrored that. Yeah. Um, went off, done my master's, and here I am in the schools, in the community, doing what I love. I can't imagine doing anything else.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Oh, amazing. Um, tell us a bit more about um CYP services. When so that's your business, yes, my baby.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

I like to call us the new kid on the block. Oh, so we originally um were established in like 2023. Okay. Um, I won't bore you with all the business lingo because I'm trying to find my head around it as well. So that's just after COVID starts sorting itself out. Yes. So it originally set that up um as like a private business company. However, it's really, really important to me about accessibility. Yeah. Um, so for every paid session, we like a portion of that goes into a pot so that we can be able to deliver free therapy to those aged 5 to 25 who would who wouldn't be able to access services.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Wow, that's amazing. Accessibility is so important. Like I find that especially even doing performing arts, like I think that if you it's sometimes viewed as quite like a luxury, isn't it, to be able to go and do something or speak to somebody about your problems. It's not everybody has the luxury of doing that. So I think that's really important what you're doing. Thank you. I wanted to talk to you a bit today about creativity because I mean I love being creative, and that's why I'm here at Select, because it means that we can, I don't know, come together as a community, do lots of things together. Um for me, I remember when I was younger, I was always the creative kid. I think I was anytime that I had a spare free five minutes, I'd be drawing something, or singing, or dancing, and obviously that's why I'm in performing arts now. Um but I see a lot of children nowadays, they uh often I feel like creative being creative is obviously viewed as something that's just like making things or creating things, it's not it's it's not it doesn't have an importance. How what would you say is actually going on in a child's mind when they're making something and when they're being creative?

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Yeah, it's it's it's it's really beneficial if we think about it. So from a therapeutic perspective, if you think about it in sessions, because I'm very much creative as well, yeah. I like to tailor things and you know make sure that it's the right fit for that client because we're not we're not essentially all the same, so every person that I see or sit with will need something different. So, you know, in sessions that might look like we got the sand tray out and we're playing in the sand tray. Yeah, or we are cutting things and we are drawing and sticking, but actually when you are entering that creative flow state, yeah, um, you're able to access language in a different way. Because for a lot of, I'm gonna say it's not just children and young people, but for a lot of us, finding like the right words to maybe communicate how we're feeling or what's going on, or just expressing can feel really, really difficult. But actually, when you are, you know, your hands are busy, it's your hands are busy, your mind is almost like engaged in the activity. Yeah, it is a way for you to express. So it might be a thing of it's taking away that pressure to have like this sit-down conversation, which sometimes I guess a lot of people feel like that's what therapy is. Yeah, you're sitting down on someone and it's like face-to-face and you're talking, yeah, but if you think about it, that can be very intimidating, especially for a child or a young person who already doesn't feel safe or comfortable. So, you know, it is allowing them to occupy their hands and their mind, and it might be that verbally it comes out, but also essentially, if you take out like verbal expression, you know, just looking at a child's santray and the figures that they're using and things like the themes that are coming up, that can tell you a lot about maybe what's happening for them internally or in their world.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Um, definitely. Yeah, I think like when even like in dance, like when you're being creative and you're expressing yourself, I often found that when I if I've had a really rubbish day or like I I didn't really like school, I wasn't good in English, I wasn't good at maths, I didn't know what I was doing, and then after I go to dance and I just completely just let out all that frustration doing something that is creative. It's not necessarily like you say, me sitting down with my mum and going, Oh, I didn't like today. But I just it got to the point where I could then it enabled me to have a good conversation with the people around me because I'd already let that frustration out in dance or playing in the sand pit, and I was engaged with that. So when I then had to speak to people and I had to go home and engage with other people, I was then at that point where I was like, okay, I have had a bit of an issue, but it's a way that that's been expressed through being creative, and so now I feel like more regulated, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Which is really important, and I think that's you know, you said like regulated, and actually creativity and emotional regulation, they are really, really closely linked because for a lot of people, again, you know, they're they it that expectation of relying on words when actually it's how can we find something that is tailored to you and engaging all of your senses? It could be for some, you know, for some children, for young people, maybe coming in and I don't know, and dance, doing a dance routine, and actually they're having to like focus on the step. So what's whatever's happened at school or at home, yeah, that's their moment to just be in the moment and do what it is that they are enjoying as well. So it's super, super important, and I definitely do work in a creative way and try to bring that into the room.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

I feel like there's a a mixture between distraction and actually regulating. Yeah. Like people get confused of like, oh well, if I just put a good film on, then I'll distract myself from my problems. When actually it's more, it's deeper than that, isn't it? Like if you put on something that's feeling heartwarming and it makes you feel good inside, yeah, it's not just distracting you, it's also regulating your your system, your nervous system.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

No, definitely, and it's super important because actually when we feel a sense, when we feel a sense of safety within our own bodies, and when we actually get to like understand what's happening, then we're able to regulate ourselves, but also we're able to let the people around us know, like, hey, I might need a minute here, or actually, I'm really finding this tricky at the moment, so like these are the things that could really support me. So it's it is really, really important, and I like the fact that you brought up the nervous system because a lot of it is is is linked and we are not taught about our nervous system.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

No, I don't think I was ever taught in school about emotions at all, which I think is bonkers to me because beyond the work and beyond the you know, every day, the main thing that we're dealing with that we feel every day are these things, you know. We're we are you know emotional beings, aren't we?

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Yeah, we are, and we all have emotions as well. Some of them might be similar, some of them we might experience some completely different, but that is something that we definitely have in common as humans.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

We all have emotions, yeah, definitely. Um so obviously you mentioned about flow state, which is something I actually had written down on the pill. Um in performing arts, I know that when I was younger, I like I was saying, I got into that flow state where I completely forgot about everything else that was going on in the world, and I just let myself be in that moment. Why do you think it's important for children and and people in general, young people in general, to access that flow state and and really get really into themselves?

SPEAKER_00 10:55

I think going back to what we just mentioned about the nervous system and being able to feel safe in your body, once we feel safe in our body, then we are able to, like I mentioned, like be like communicate what's happening and we're able to understand a bit more, and actually that does build a form of confidence. Yeah, I knew the C-word would come up confidence. That does build a form of confidence because you're able to like trust your your body and trust you know that you know what's going on, and also trust the people, the adults around you. And if you think about like the performing arts um industry and community, a lot of it is that it's that sense of belonging, yeah, that sense of identity, that sense of resilience that you guys are implementing into the next generation.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Yeah, definitely. I know that when I was growing up, I felt like the performing arts community is such a safe space to just be completely unique, be your own self, not let the outside world kind of have a grasp of the things that you're getting and the things that you're doing. Um so yeah, I really agree with that. I think especially at Select as well, we try and have that kind of environment where a child can make mistakes, a child can fail, a child can discover something new about themselves through creativity and through feeling confident about themselves as well. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

I love that. Yeah, confidence is a big one, big one for me, and it's needed, very much needed, um, because then you're you're able to go on and try new things, and you know it's okay to make mistakes. I know you mentioned mistakes, and I think that's an important thing. I'm an experforming art student myself. Oh, okay. Bit of dance, bit of drama, um, very dramatic. Yeah, unreal, unwheel. But that confidence of actually, you know, having to go up on stage, you got the the spotlights coming down on you, and actually all the work that you would have put um put behind that, and you know, whether you're doing a choreographed set together, that's a sense of community as well, which is really, really important.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Yeah, I think that like it's building people don't realise, especially in the education system, people don't realise how important uh being creative and the performing arts is. Like when you see people who have been in performing arts when they were younger, they there's so many transverbal skills that go across, you know. Like I might come and do a Lambda class, for example, and I'm doing amazing drama and I'm feeling really confident with that, and then you know, 20-30 years down the line, I might be stood in a corporate job doing a really important meeting or interview, and I those are skills that I've learned when I was, you know, six or seven.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

No, definitely that communication, yeah, because that's actually a really big skill that we are not. I would like to say, I don't think in education it's it's taught the importance of it is taught is is is taught or comes across because you're absolutely right, you might have to stand up in that meeting, you might need to object to what your colleagues are saying, yeah. Um, so it's it is important, and it is those skills that the performing arts uh schools are actually implementing and building. There's so much that you guys do and resilience as well. Yeah, like keep on going, you might mess up. Sorry, it's okay. It might have been like the table. Um, yeah, if you if you know if you put a foot wrong in the crowd, keep going. Like if you mess up your lines, maybe no one really knows, no one really knows because they wasn't rehearsing with you. It's like things like that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

I think that leads on to perfectly to another thing, is that I think as we grow up, we develop to being our own biggest critic. I think that we're things that, like you said, things that people wouldn't even notice about you. You're constantly there and you're there ready to say, well, you've done that bit wrong, and you've done that bit wrong, and you've done that bit wrong. I don't know whether that's just a perfectionist in me, but I do know that from speaking to friends as well, that's quite a similar um like pattern that I've seen, especially in young people as well. How would you say it is one way in which at CYP services that you kind of tackle that that feeling of like almost imposter syndrome, isn't it? Of I shouldn't be here, this is wrong, I I don't feel very confident with that. How would you say you you would tackle that?

SPEAKER_00 15:52

No, absolutely. And is it something that you feel as well? Yeah, I was literally just I was literally just about to say coming here, I was like, oh my days, I can't believe I'm actually coming on. Bit of fangirling because I do listen to the podcast. But it's like, wow, I'm coming on and I'm sharing like my insights, um, my knowledge, and I know I voice noted like one of my friends, like, ah but actually I think a big part of that and my work with you know the children, young people and the families that I see is normalizing it. Okay, and actually letting them know that you know we all might feel a sense of nervousness or maybe questioning, should I be here, should I be doing this? Can I even do this? And that's okay. Yeah, that is okay because that shows you know how much you care about what it is that you're doing. Yeah, I guess so true. Yeah, I guess thinking about myself coming today as an example, it's like I really do want to be able to communicate, you know, the importance of creativity, the amazing work that you know you guys are doing at Select, myself as well. And that I guess that that pressure is because I it's coming from a place of good. I really want to do well. Um so I think that is like the the biggest thing for me. The first step is normalizing that, you know, reassuring them that it's okay to feel like this, you're not the only person, you know, I might feel like this, or maybe has there been like another time maybe you felt like that, yeah. And actually being able to help them to recognize, you know, what it is that they're feeling in their body. I often go back because I do a lot of like body work in terms of what you're feeling inside because I generally believe once you feel safe inside, you know, you're able to tackle different things. So it's thinking about you know, how are you feeling in your body right now? Is it maybe you've got butterflies in your stomach? Yeah, that happens a lot. Is your heart racing? Do you maybe not want to do it at all? And I guess sitting with them and and and mapping out what it is that's going on, so that could look like having like a body outline on a piece of paper and us like drawing maybe where they feel whatever they feel in their body, colouring it in, and a part of that is psychoeducation, so it's helping them to understand what's going on. Wow. Um, and then also a part of that is um feeling nervous um and also excitement, they share, they overlap a lot of the same physical sensations.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

That's crazy to me. Like, um, I guess it's like if you're about to do a performance or something and you get that butterfly is it's like, do I want to be sick right now or am I just really excited? Like what's going on?

SPEAKER_00 18:38

Yeah, and again, just just normalizing that and helping them to be able to differentiate what it is that maybe they are feeling, and a big part of my work also as well is thinking about practical tools. So, okay, we've we've identified what's happening. Now what? Yeah, you can understand it. What is it that you're doing? Is it that maybe before you go on you need to go into the uh toilet, maybe look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a prep talk? Yeah, is it that you know you maybe have other things in your toolbox? Because I like to call it a toolbox. Yeah, I love that. Um so is it that in your toolbox maybe you might need to do some breathing exercises? Is it that maybe you need to maybe take off your your shoes and maybe just ground yourself and maybe feel like the floor or the carpet or whatever it is to kind of just settle yourself? Is it that maybe you need to share with someone else how you're feeling as well? And I think a really big part of like my work, um, and the reason why I work with that broad range of clients is because it's also thinking about the other adults around that child and young person, yeah. Um, and actually how we can empower them to also support them.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Um that's so important because I guess when you think about therapy, right, you think, okay, and and just being an adult, it can feel quite solitary, can't it? Yeah. I know I mean I'm extremely lucky to have amazing friends and lovely supportive family, but not everybody's in that situation, yeah. And I think that it can feel really solitary as an adult, of like, okay, no one's taught me how to do anything, I don't know what I'm doing, and it feels quite scary. But I guess I never thought about it of like it's also not just about the person who's going through that experience, it's also about how the people around them can be empowered themselves in order to support as well. It's like we're all connected.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

No, absolutely, absolutely, and I won't like bore you with the theory, but there is um Bron Fren Bronfriend Brenner's um theory, and it actually is thinking about us as humans and how we interact with the environment around us. So it's almost like you know, it would be a child or a young person or adult in the middle, and around them there was like outer circles. So you've got like their media family, you know, schools and um other community organizations that they might be a part of, you know, you've got clubs, neighborhoods, social media, etc. etc. So it's all interconnected. Um, and a big part of my work is actually, you know, often the sessions for me are 50 minutes. So I see this child or young person for 50 minutes, but they're actually going back out into their environment, their reality. Yeah, so it for me it feels really counterproductive to just for the work to stop there. So it might be that actually we've been doing this work in the room in terms of identifying on that body map how you're feeling. And obviously, with their consent, it's actually thinking, how could we include maybe mum or dad or a carer? So can we take that sheet home and encourage you guys to make your own like coping plan together? Yeah. And think like setting all activities, maybe creating like a coping um like sensory toolbox that maybe you can have and go around and like put little things in there, and maybe you know, anyone at home maybe knows okay, there they're maybe I can see. That something's not right, or you know, I'm a bit worried. And we've spoken about this before. So maybe what is it that you need from this box? And it's similar with like teachers as well. It would be thinking about, you know, you guys at Select, I'm sure you're very much like, it's normal, it's okay. I felt like this, other people have. You can just go on and try your best. So it is really important to include the entire system in that because ultimately it's about empowering them together so that they can support each other.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

I love that. I um it's almost like I think I find it easier to learn when I'm learning with someone else. Like when if I have, I don't know, a routine or some lines to learn about. I don't know, whatever it is. I find it so much easier if I have someone there that's helping me do it. Because it's like I mean, even with parents at home, for example, they might be, I might say, Okay, grown-ups, can you we're doing this piece, can you run it through with them after d after dinner? Or I love that, you know, that kind of thing. But then I also think that makes it feel so much more of a community because not only do we have the the children in our classes, and it's like you say it's that one 15 minutes or half an hour, it's then more than that. It's not just that time, it's then the whole day because they're like what do working on their performing arts stuff, but they're doing it at home as well. And then I feel like like you say, it it really normalizes it because it helps with can like continuation. Yes, and then absolutely if you get a habit, then you learn. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

No, absolutely, and you're creating that that time together. We now I I often think about like the world that we're living in, and parents and carers are having to work way more, so sometimes they're not able to spend that quality time. So setting those little tasks, you know, outside of the homework and reading that the reading that they have to do, all the important things, it is actually creating that form of connection between you know the child, the young person, and their trusted adults as well, and it helps to not feel like they are just alone, and I think that's really why I do champion and and and love the creative space because it is that sense of community. I know I keep coming back to that, but community accessibility is all important to me, and I it's it's just amazing. Yeah, really great.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Um, I want to move on to a little game segment. Yes, um, so as you might know, as you listen, we do a little game segment. Um for this game segment, I'll tell the viewers at home this game segment is called Case File. I'm gonna give Rakeisha a scenario, and then she's gonna give me what her first five minutes of advice for that situation would be. For example, it might be a child's come in crying and you can't get them to talk about what they're feeling. What's your first five minutes? What would you do in that action? Okay, wow. Yeah, five minutes. Okay. Um I mean you don't have to talk four or five minutes each time. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Ready? Yes, I am. Okay. So, first scenario, this obviously might help parents at home. An 11-year-old comes home from school, they drop their bags down, they go straight to their room, they won't talk, and they've stopped doing the things that they love doing. What was your first five minutes of action? What would you do?

SPEAKER_00 25:24

I definitely would allow them a few minutes to just almost regulate and gather themselves. Yeah. They would have, you know, come from wherever, we still don't know what's happened. So actually giving them that moment and then being able, I would then, you know, encourage parents' carers to maybe go up to go upstairs and actually just acknowledge, like, hey, I've realized that you've come in today, like you've been super quiet, you've gone straight to your room. Um, what's happening? Like, what happened today? Yeah, and I think, you know, as humans, as adults, we do just want to be able to go in straight away.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Yeah, it's like I need to fix it.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah, like now. But absolutely but I think it's really important to allow that child or young person that space. So it might be that, you know, having that option of do you want us to maybe think about it together or talk about it? And giving them that option to be able to say yes or no. Yeah. Sorry. And being able to like respect that. So I think if it's yes, then absolutely you can go in again, it's not about problem solving, it's just about you know, listening to what's happened, being able to validate their feelings. Yeah. Um, but equally, if they say no, acknowledging that and saying, Okay, I can see maybe right now isn't the best time. I'm gonna give you maybe I don't know, another 10 minutes and then I'm gonna come back in. And it could be that again, if they go back in and they they don't want to talk about it, it might just be enough for that Charlie Young person for that adult to just be beside them and sit beside them. Yeah, because sometimes that happens in sessions, it's like you know, they're being told by adults that they need to come here and actually they're unsure, they don't know they don't want to. So, you know, some of our like sessions, a few could just be us just being in the room together, just playing. Just me just being beside them, sharing like getting to know each other, yeah, is really, really important.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

That's so true. Like, I I so when I was younger, I was quite an extrovert, but as I've grown up, I've become more introverted, and I've noticed how important it is as well to find the right people or or be the right person. Where, like a lot of my friends, we get together, we hang out, and we don't talk, but we're spending that quality time and we're in the room together. Yeah, and I think that before, especially with my own emotions, I was very much like, okay, I need to fix this, I need to know what's going on, I have to understand, and this, that, and the other. When actually just one little moment with my mum just sat there, not even talking, just having that energetic um what do you call it? Connection. Connection, yeah, or like another C. Yeah, another C connection there really helps feeling regulated, even though my mum's not doing anything, she's just sitting there, whereas it's yeah, it's super helpful.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

And I wonder, I know you're gonna move on, but I wonder for your mum and obviously parents and carers at home, that can sometimes feel really like scary and almost like hopeless. Like my child, my young person is in distress.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

What do I do?

SPEAKER_00 28:28

What do I do? Like, who do I go to? But honestly, just being there sometimes can be the most powerful thing, and also saying to them, I don't know what to do. Because it is again, it's it's humanizing it, it's normalizing it. You don't need to have all the answers.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Yeah. My mum said to me, and it's a quote that I'll never forget. Um, she something had happened, and I was upset, and it was a whole thing. I was very dramatic as a child. No, that's for the foolings. That's it. And she turned round to me and she said, David, there is no rule book, and that's something that really has stuck with me. Not just for from a place of like, there's no rule book, what do I do? Yeah, but also from a place of nobody knows. What like nobody really knows what's going on or what to do. So that also then gives me the power to be able to write my own as well.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Absolutely, and you're figuring it out, and I think that's why you know, setting those mini little activities, not so that it feels like homework, but it is you guys finding out together what works best, yeah, and actually you are modeling that you like adults don't know it all either. Sometimes you know, I might struggle with how I'm feeling, and you know, maybe when I'm upset, this is what I do. Yeah, it's it's it's it's literally the little things, but it can feel so huge for the child or the young person to not know, and then that can ultimately also come off on the adult as well.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

So even big words like when we're doing drama, like the other day, I was just thinking of a uh situation, and a kid was like, What does this word mean? And I literally turned around and I was like, I don't know, I genuinely don't know, and I I uh I had the instinct to go, well, actually, I'm an adult and I know everything. Yep, and actually it was so much more helpful for her who asked the child that asked me to see me confused and go, actually, I don't I don't know what it is. And she was like, Okay, let's find out, let's do it together.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

I was just about to say that, and then that creates that connection. I'm the same, I'm terrible at maths, which is why as well I became a counsellor. So, like, you know, my niece is four, so we're doing like little numbers, and I'm gonna be so honest, I have to use my fingers, and I'm like, it's okay, like we're gonna count and use our fingers. Like, Auntie doesn't know, so let's find out together. Yeah, and it's the same in sessions. I just learned so much from the children and young people that I see. Sometimes they say, Do you know what this means? And I'm like, same. I want to be like, Yeah, and I think in the beginning I did, and I'm like, No, I don't. And they look at me like you don't know as well. I'm like, let's find out together. Let's do it. Let's let's let's whip out Google and find out together, or we can do something else. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

Yeah, or maybe find someone else, and that's them. Yep, that's it. There's so many things that I might not know about hip hop and Mr. Mikey knows, so you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

There you go. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

So, next section a nine-year-old is trying to complete a creative project, but it's not going perfectly, and they say that they hate it and they don't ever want to do it ever again. They burst into tears and they say, I'm stupid, I can't do it, I'm a failure. How would you handle that high emotion?

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

Yeah. I've seen that a couple of times.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

No, that's what that is definitely a lot, and I guess you know, the first things that kind of struck out to me was those words. Yeah. I'm stupid, I can't do this, I don't want to do it. Like that, if you think about identity and that sense of self-worth, it's really important that you know, with that child, we are protecting that. So, again, similar. I would it's all the first step always for me is reassuring. Like, I can see how you're feeling right now, like that's okay. This sounds really like super, super difficult. Um, you're really upset. Giving them that time to almost like regulate, it's really important again. If we think about again, more theory, but it's like this window of tolerance. So it's thinking about, you know, when you are inside this window per se, it's you know, you're okay, you can manage stuff, but when you're outside of that, when the pressure gets too much, you're outside of that, and it could be that you automatically go into fight, flight, freeze that response, which by the way, is your brain and your body doing what it should be doing, it's going into protection mode, it's trying to protect you. So actually, it's about thinking how can we lower that, bring them back into their window of tolerance, and almost that's when you can almost do some like reason making and the regulating as well. I think again, automatically we want to go to oh my days, stop crying. Yeah, no, you're not, you're not stupid, you're not stupid.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Well, it's like, well, I feel like I am, so that's not helping me.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Yeah, this, yeah, literally, this is not helping me right now. So actually, it's more important to reassure. I'm not saying agree because that can be really difficult as well. And when we think about, you know, the performing arts industry, I'm coming back to that, but it can be a lot of pressure, yeah. It can be, I can't make any mistakes, I need to get this right. But it's thinking about you know, from the mistakes we're we're able to learn from that, and we are human, but I think it's finding the right time of when you can communicate that to that child or young person. Time is really, really important, and again, showing that maybe you've made mistakes as well, and this is how you've handled it, and going back to that toolbox, okay. What tools do we do we maybe need to use in our toolbox that we've got? Is it that maybe right now you just need to avoid what whatever this task is? And can we go away? Can we do something else? And then maybe come back to it. Can we maybe break it down into sections as well? Um so yeah, because it would be like a dance move. I remember choreography, um coming back home or going to my grandparents' house with my cousin, like, I can't remember the dance. Oh my day, oh, this is the music, I'm off beat. And she'd be like, Can we slow down? Yeah, let's do it by section by section. Yeah. Same with learning lines. You wouldn't expect anybody to be given their script and read the whole scene. Yeah, that's it. You literally break it down in scene one, scene two.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

And line one, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Line two. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

You can really split it down word by word, literally.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Literally, let's really just try to make it bite-sized.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

Okay, let's do the next section. A parent notices their child has replaced on offline creativity with endless scrolling and gaming, and when the screen is taken away, they become anxious and aggressive. What would you say you would do in that situation?

SPEAKER_00 35:04

I'm really glad that you asked this question. Yeah. Um, because you know, social media is so huge right now. I know that in my time, I say my time like I'm ancient, but in my time it was around like we had, you know, Arch Jeeves and Google MTV base, all of that stuff. Yeah, yeah. And you know, that has formed a part of who I am and my identity and my peers as well. But actually, now we think about you know social media, and again, our first thing is you know, wanting to take it away, wanting to like place these bands, which I think we need to be able to see the pros and cons like anything. Yeah, so for that child, it is for me, I'm really curious as to what it is that they are doing on their phone.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

Yeah. What platforms are they accessing? Why are they accessing those platforms? Is it maybe that you know they found a community that they feel really safe in? Yeah. Is it they feel that you know they're able to express themselves and form that connection that they're not able to form in real life? Of course, um, we need to think about the safeguarding aspect of it. Actually, who are they speaking to, um, you know, what are the access, what is the age limit of the apps that they're actually on. But I think it doesn't need to be instantly take the phone away.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Because that can be really scary. If you think about that, that child, that young person, they that's where they feel safe. So if we were to take that away, we're then making them feel unsafe. Yeah. And that could, you know, cause them to shut down completely. So it could be, you know, that that parent, that carer, actually they can co-view together.

SPEAKER_03 36:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

I'm really interested, like, you know, why it is that you are on your phone so much or what it is that you're looking at. Like, can we go through it together? Can you help me understand like why it is that you use this app or why it is that you really, really enjoy um like yeah, using your phone and and scrolling as well? Yeah, are there certain times that they're scrolling? Is it yeah, is it maybe at bedtime? Is it maybe when they're just coming in from school or wherever they are? Do they maybe need that sensory bit break?

SPEAKER_01 37:23

Yeah, and I also think like as well, it I think that it has its pros and cons, right? As you say, like you have amazing platforms like YouTube where there's so many like dance reels and like even TikTok with their TikTok dances, it's becoming such more of a craze now. But it's really like you say, important to remember the safeguarding thing, and also it's it can quite it can cloud your ment your mental space, I feel like, especially scrolling and that kind of thing because you're not doing anything physically with your body, yeah, but it can really become really overwhelming. And I know that I'm guilty, I'll put my hands up. It's so addictive, right? And we still don't know the long-term effects of social media as well. So I think that, yeah, like you say, I think it's important not to fully detach, but also I love the co co voice. Yeah, I think that's I've not even heard of that. Like what a parent looking at a child's phone together, like no, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Usually it's either one's here and the other's over there, and I think it's really important to approach it in a sense of being sensitive because when we almost like go in, I remember as a child, sorry mum, sorry dad, as a child, when they said like you're not doing this, you're not having it, I would definitely find a way to kind of get which can be super super dangerous. So it is that that thing of you know not going in and automatically like set like shutting down and putting in those um those really strict boundaries, but coming up with something together, and you know, you know, being honest and saying that I am worried about what's happening, but I think it's that I would definitely recommend to lead with curiosity, love another C. I've got a thing for C's clearly, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

But curiosity, confidence, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

But curiosity is what I would encourage parents and carers to lead with, and you know, social media is a part of our lives, it's something that even in my sessions and you know, reviews, and before I even see a child or young person or adult, I'm thinking about what are the platforms you're using. Yeah, so it's almost changing that thing of thinking about it as just screen time because it's not, it can be a whole different world for that child or young person.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

So definitely. I'm gonna end on a word which is exploration. Okay, I think that it's really important to explore, like you say, explore things together. Um exploration and explanation. I think like a lot of the time nowadays it's not just you can't do this or you can't do that. Because a lot of parents are then uh sorry, a lot of children are then asking, well, why?

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

And at first, when kids ask me that, I'm like, it doesn't matter. Don't ask me why. Just don't ask me why and do it. When actually, if I was in that situation, that's what I've been taught to do as well. I've been taught to ask, yeah, okay, why? Why do I need to when I'm dancing, for example, why do I need to make my legs into a plie and make a diamond shape? Why? Absolutely unless you're ready with them answers to say, oh, even with phones. Why why can't I go on my phone at at midnight? Why? And unless you're ready with an answer, there's n there's not that child's not gonna be able to trust, right? Yeah. Unless you have that thing of, okay, well or a teacher, whoever, this is why we do this, this is why we're gonna do this. It gives them more of a reason to do it. Yeah. Whereas if they're like if someone just said, okay, Rikisha, I need you to go stand over there, I would absolutely be like, Why?

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Why do I need to go over there? No, absolutely, and again, you know, parents and carers naturally we you know, they want to protect us as adults professionals, we want to go in and protect. But it is thinking about you know, how can we definitely not stunt their creativity, yeah, encourage them to explore, allow them to make mistakes, help them build that resilience, normalize, validate, be curious. There's so much um into it that again performing arts does create, and it's amazing that you know, I know earlier before we started filming speaking to Lauren, just about you know, you they do have the option to sit exams, but it's not something that you guys are forcing onto them because they already have so many rules and regulations, school, etc. So let them come, let them be a part of the community, let them find what they enjoy doing, yeah, and that balance, right? It's that balance of hard work but also freedom, yeah, being which is what allows us to then go on to discover who we are and what we want to be.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

That sounds like a great place to end the episode. Rikisha, thank you so much for coming in today. It's been a pleasure to talk to you and your expertise is amazing, it's fabulous. Where can people find you if they want to?

SPEAKER_00 42:07

Um, so they can find um us on Instagram, so at the the CYP services. Um, they can find me on Instagram as well at the CYP Counselor, um, www.thecypservices.com also. Um, but no, thank you so much for having me as well. I feel really privileged um to be on here and sharing my insights, but also, you know, just listening along and learning as well from you guys and what you're doing. Um, now that it's over, I feel less nervous, so that's good. There you go. A bit of we've done it now. That's that's another thing. It's like, you know, you do feel nervous, this too shall pass.

SPEAKER_01 42:48

Yes, love that. Love that. Thank you. Thank you. So thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Select Podcast. If you would like to listen to more, you can listen on Spotify, on YouTube, or your favourite streaming platform. Um you can also find us on social media, uh, at the Select School of Performing Arts or at the Select Podcast. And that's everything from us. So have a lovely rest of your day, evening, night, whatever you're up to. And we will see you in the next one. Bye. Bye.