Watchtower After Dark with Smurf Girl & Mitch
A no-holds-barred discussion of life, love, & politics while moving on from the Jehovah's Witness cult.
Watchtower After Dark with Smurf Girl & Mitch
Ep. 03 (audio only) - WATCHTOWER AFTER DARK - UNCLE TONY MORRIS EXCLUSIVE w/SMURF GIRL & MITCH
What an effin treat we have for you on this episode. None other than our beloved Uncle Tony Morris drops in for an EXCLUSIVE interview with ExJDub (Mitch) while Smurf Girl was out buying them more liquor. Find out where he's been, why he got the BOOT from the rest of the governing body of Jehovah's Witnesses, and much more!
After the hosts give Uncle Tony the boot, enjoy the conversation about THE Smurf story that shook the Jehovah's Witness world back in the day, and a little more on how Smurf Girl got her name. Smurf Girl also has some words of wisdom for active apostates now in regards to crashing meetings or assemblies.
There may or may not be some talk about the back of the JW songbook, and a big thick wrist? Tune in for the gory details because you won't want to miss it!
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00:Hello everyone and welcome once again to the XJW Network Show. I am Mitch. Usually I would have Smurf Girl with me, but we're doing a little something special today. If you saw, both of us posted on our accounts about dear Uncle Tony. He said he would be here. I'm hoping he don't stand me up. I'm looking for... Hey. What?
SPEAKER_01:Is that you, Tony? Oh, God. Mitch, is that you?
SPEAKER_00:This is
SPEAKER_01:me. Oh, God. Hey. Tony.
SPEAKER_00:What's
SPEAKER_01:up? It's me. How are you? What's up? It's been a rough year. It's
SPEAKER_00:been
SPEAKER_01:rough. Did you recognize me? Can you recognize me? This is my incognito half.
SPEAKER_00:I barely did it because of the hat.
SPEAKER_01:I
SPEAKER_00:am. And the loose pants.
SPEAKER_01:Is Smurf Girl in here, is she?
SPEAKER_00:No, no.
SPEAKER_01:Okay,
SPEAKER_00:good. You don't
SPEAKER_01:like my partner in
SPEAKER_00:crime? You don't like my partner in crime?
SPEAKER_01:We got an alliance. We got an Uncle Tony's Smoke Girl Alliance, but I'm just too shy to see her in person.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, okay. All right. She's my friend. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:All right. Well, she's my niece. I'm her Uncle Tony. Oh, Mick. I just came from the assembly. Pure worship, my ass. My ass, boys. You kick me off the body. And then you have the nerve to do clean, pure worship? I know. How can
SPEAKER_00:I be pure without Uncle Tony? How can I be pure without Uncle Tony?
SPEAKER_01:I know. I
SPEAKER_00:was
SPEAKER_01:the most purest form of worship there was.
SPEAKER_00:You were. I know. I know. First, you heard from my big brother, Sam. Have you heard from him?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you know. Yeah. Well, I shouldn't say. Don't want him to get DF'd because of me. He's a brother from another mother, Mitch.
SPEAKER_00:I know. We're like this. All four of us are like this.
SPEAKER_01:I know. He's the only one that bats me up. Because he's the only one that feels that way about them women, them broads at the Kingdom, huh? You know? He feels about broads like I do, you know?
SPEAKER_00:You know,
SPEAKER_01:I got yoga pants on right now, you see? I got yoga pants on. I'm like, whatever. Whatever.
SPEAKER_00:You just threw caution to the wind. You're wearing yoga pants, too?
SPEAKER_01:Yes. You know what, Mitch?
SPEAKER_00:I'm
SPEAKER_01:sorry. I got to take a break because I got to take I got I went to the I just went to the pharmacy and got my medicine. Do you mind if I take it?
SPEAKER_00:That's fine. Are you well? Do you got
SPEAKER_01:some medicine too?
SPEAKER_00:I do.
SPEAKER_01:You want some?
SPEAKER_00:I have some.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Uncle Tony likes a good shooter. The jumbo kind.
SPEAKER_00:Jumbo shooter. I
SPEAKER_01:had two, but I was at the assembly, so I, you know, needed to
SPEAKER_00:crack one open.
SPEAKER_01:Crack it open.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, cheers to you, Unc. Cheers. Which
SPEAKER_01:side are you on, this side or that side?
SPEAKER_00:The other side. This side? There you go. Cheers.
SPEAKER_01:Cheers.
SPEAKER_00:You know they can do that
SPEAKER_01:now. Oh, that's the good stuff. I feel annoying that again.
SPEAKER_00:You feel? I feel
SPEAKER_01:annoying
SPEAKER_00:that again. They didn't take that from you.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. They frisked me. They frisked me when I left. They're like, bend over, Tony. Bend over. Oh. And I was like, no. They're going to. And you know what they did? They gave me my old clothes back. They took my good wardrobe. They said it was property of washtock and I had to wear my 80s clothes again.
SPEAKER_00:They did you wrong, Tony. Let's get into this.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Did you know before they kicked you off, did you have any inkling that they were going to do that to you?
SPEAKER_01:Honestly, I've been treading a thin line for a long time and I knew I was a fog guy. So I took it on the chin because Uncle Tony do that, you know? Right. Hey, you know what? You like a good stogie? You like a good... I got one of them honeyberry ones. Look at that. I want... Uncle Tony, what is up with
SPEAKER_00:you?
SPEAKER_01:I want... What is that called when they, like, sponsor me? I need to be sponsored by Fireball?
SPEAKER_00:Oh my
SPEAKER_01:goodness. And the honey berry stogies.
SPEAKER_00:But look, you used to be so straight and narrow. Now you drink and fireball and you about to light up. Like what happened?
SPEAKER_01:I always did. One time, one time out of desperation, I used my program as rolling papers. You know, you ever done that? You ever done that? Like, you know, you lick it.
SPEAKER_00:I cannot say I've done this.
SPEAKER_01:No, you know who taught me to do that?
SPEAKER_00:Who? Don't say. You know what? Well, I was about to say, don't say my brother. You know what?
SPEAKER_01:Sorry. I'm so full of myself, I don't let you talk.
SPEAKER_00:My brother is not rolling blood.
SPEAKER_01:No, he's got a dude like Snoop that has him rolling for him. Don't roll his own no more. Come on. You make the body, you got a rolling paper guy.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Now I'm going to crack this sucker open. I know you got one too, Mitch.
SPEAKER_00:Huh?
SPEAKER_01:I know you got one too.
SPEAKER_00:I can feel
SPEAKER_01:the Holy Spirit tell me you got one.
SPEAKER_00:I've been known to fuck on something, you know. I got two things going over here. Yeah. There you go.
SPEAKER_01:Nah, they made me go out like smoke. I knew when I was blowing out that match that that was it. And that was it. That was
SPEAKER_00:it.
SPEAKER_01:I
SPEAKER_00:was going to do it good. What kind of match idea?
SPEAKER_01:They told me to do it. They told you to. I did. Jehovah's enemies. Like smoke. Oh, God, I got to land
SPEAKER_00:another one. That was close.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Uncle Smoke, Tony Morris.
SPEAKER_00:Wait a second. You made a lot of brothers upset, okay?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Do you know how? Good.
SPEAKER_01:Why?
SPEAKER_00:Because you told us that yoga pants were not allowed.
SPEAKER_01:Well...
SPEAKER_00:We didn't like it. Rumor...
SPEAKER_01:Well, it's only... Okay, let me get you straight about it. Yoga pants is only illegal with the ugly broads. If you're good looking, it's fine. You know, it's only when them ugly ones wear them. I don't care if anybody else wears them. It's fine.
SPEAKER_00:Just, you
SPEAKER_01:know, we don't need to see you coming.
SPEAKER_00:Come on, man. You can't offend people like that. I'm
SPEAKER_01:Uncle Tony. That's what Uncle Tony thinks. Not me. Not my opinion.
SPEAKER_00:Were you the only one at that viewpoint about yoga pants on the body? Were you the only one on the body at that viewpoint?
SPEAKER_01:No, Sammy feels the same way too. Gloria and Susan took yoga one time and it was a mess. So we're anti-yoga. You know what? Yoga pants turns into yoga, and then yoga's pagan, all right? Yoga's pagan. You can't be wearing the pants of pagan yoga and be okay, right?
SPEAKER_00:It's just a wardrobe, you know? I don't think they are getting into it that deeply. They just want to wear something that's comfortable. Oh, I have to run errands. I have to go to the store. Let me throw these on. What's wrong with that?
SPEAKER_01:Nothing. That's why I'm wearing them right now. I got them on. I didn't realize that they look uncomfortable. They look uncomfortable. I can practically full-on do the splits.
SPEAKER_00:Oh,
SPEAKER_01:this stogie is like almost broken, man.
SPEAKER_00:I
SPEAKER_01:know. I didn't realize they were so comfortable. Now I wear them all the time, too. So does Sammy. You should see Mark Sanderson. He thinks he can do karate.
SPEAKER_00:No, I don't want to see that. That
SPEAKER_01:was a bad idea.
SPEAKER_00:Did they nominate you to be the one to give the tough talks?
SPEAKER_01:Say that again.
SPEAKER_00:Did the body nominate you to give the tough talks? Why did you always give the stern, like, hard talks?
SPEAKER_01:Because I'm the only one that's got the balls to do it.
UNKNOWN:Oh.
SPEAKER_00:And
SPEAKER_01:I'm like everybody's Uncle Tony. I'm like your dad, you know? And so I go up there all dadding on you, you know? That was you?
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'm sorry. Yeah, like, you know, like when your jackass dad goes up on the stage and he's yapping like a hypocrite. Everybody's got one. And so I was the hypocrite dad one, you know. And so that was my role. Like the Seven Dwarfs, that was my role. God, I need more medicine.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, boy, look at you. You're tearing it up. So, like, when you left... Or let's just call it what it is. When they kicked you off, what did you
SPEAKER_01:do?
SPEAKER_00:They lynched me. What did Uncle Tony do after they just got, like, dropped you so coldly?
SPEAKER_01:They caught me wearing tight pants. They caught me wearing tight jeans. It was a fight. Smurf girl was right. That's why I don't want her here because I don't want to tell her she was right. And
SPEAKER_00:you
SPEAKER_01:were right and everybody else was right. She should be able to wear pants to the meeting if she wants to. And that beards ain't so pagan.
SPEAKER_00:Beards ain't so
SPEAKER_01:pagan.
SPEAKER_00:My brother looks nice with the beard.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Well, you know, it's that a lot of those JW brothers do look good with beards.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And it seems that some of the brothers that don't, don't like it when they see a guy looking real sharp. Like, you know, the guys, the guy, I'm sure y'all probably confused me for Rick Fearing. You know, I'm not Rick Fearing, I'm Uncle Tony. But... There are some brothers that it's like they get jealous of the way a guy looks in a beard. You know, if he comes in looking all, you know, like Derek Jeter or something with a beard and all pop ass, you know, like you start looking like the most interesting man in the world, but then you can't do a beard. There's beard jealousy. And it started with Rutherford being beard jealous. And so, you know, then nobody, it's like, oh, he's so good and he's so into his beard and he's so good looking with this beard. And then, so then they say nobody can have beards. And it's like, that ain't
SPEAKER_00:cool. So you left and they come out with these new guidelines. They allow different things. The governing body has concluded. So how do you feel that the women can wear pants now?
SPEAKER_01:I don't even go anymore. I can't even look at it. I can't even. I went to the cell. I'm done. I'm done. No, I mean, seriously. And it's chaos. It's a free-for-all. They were wearing at the assembly. They were, you know, because I just went today. And they were wearing sweatpants.
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_01:Smurf girl told me about it. They were wearing. She saw it, too. They were wearing sweatpants. They wear t-shirts and jeans.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:It seriously is a free-for-all.
SPEAKER_00:So you left the hammer. I used to call you the hammer. The hammer leaves and it's like, come as you are now.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. Yeah. It's like, I think they know the end is coming regardless. Like, the end's coming. And they might as well, it's like, it's like Casual Friday at the Kingdom Hall. Casual Friday. Just Casual Friday. It's like, what's this sweater hair? Oh, you know, I should probably, God. Uh-oh. It's getting hot in here. No, it's like Casual Friday at the Kingdom Hall. Oh, no.
SPEAKER_00:You just like, you want yoga pants? You got a ponytail? Damn, Tony.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I grew my hair up. Hey, beards is okay. I can't grow a beard. I'm the kind of guy that can't grow a beard, but I grew my hair out and I'm wearing a man bun everywhere I go. Why? I know, but I'm still bald up on
SPEAKER_00:top. Oh, you got a man bun cul-de-sac. Wow.
SPEAKER_01:I do. I do. I know neckties. I wore a necktie to the assembly. I wore a necktie to the assembly.
SPEAKER_00:When you went to the assembly today, did it make you miss it?
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Really?
SPEAKER_01:Well, it made me realize I don't think I mind being a part of the great crowd. They treated me just like the piece of shit great crowd. That's what they did. I walk in, they're like, hey, don't you treat me like no piece of shit great crowd. I'm annoying. You know? And they forgot. They were treating me like a normal great crowd. And I was offended.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, okay. No,
SPEAKER_01:they did. Just like that was just great crowd. Just Uncle Tony's not great crowd, okay? Uncle
SPEAKER_00:Tony's not great crowd. You're going to offend mine and Smurf Girl's listener base. First you say ugly women can't wear yoga pants. Now you're saying piece of shit great crowd. Come
SPEAKER_01:on now, huh? I'm rogue.
UNKNOWN:You're
SPEAKER_01:I'm broke. They broke Uncle Tony.
SPEAKER_00:They
SPEAKER_01:broke me. They broke Uncle Tony. I don't even know up from down.
SPEAKER_00:Do you still feel the end is near? How do you feel about that?
SPEAKER_01:The end of the organization is near.
SPEAKER_00:You can taste it. I mean the world.
SPEAKER_01:Nah.
SPEAKER_00:That was a
SPEAKER_01:lie. When I said that on the broadcast, That was a lie. I lied. I want to admit, almost everything, I was a big giant hypocrite. A hypocrite. Just a big giant crit. And I was a liar. And I was a jerk. And I admit it. Is this a court of law, Mitch? You look like a judge. I, Uncle Tony Morris, admit that I was a big hypocrite and a liar. So whatever you think... As a lion.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_00:So everything I thought was real and true is fake.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. It's all scripted.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, wow. Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Everything's all scripted, man.
SPEAKER_00:There's some rumors going around. Let me ask you this. Where are you living these days on?
SPEAKER_01:I'm trying to light this thing. I'm sleeping on Smurf Girl's couch right there. I sleep on her couch.
SPEAKER_00:What? She didn't tell me that.
SPEAKER_01:Say it again.
SPEAKER_00:She didn't tell me that.
SPEAKER_01:No, I know. I told her to swear me to secrecy. No, I just showed up just yesterday. You know my favorite trench coat? You remember my favorite trench coat? Susan threw it in the dumpster. My wife, Susan, she threw it in the dumpster. She threw me out. And so I came knocking on Smurf Girl's door. I said, hey, I need a place to be. Can I sleep on your couch? So she's letting me. Damn.
SPEAKER_00:Not the trench coat of the famous picture of you in the store. That trench
SPEAKER_01:coat? Oh, the liquor store one? That's my favorite liquor store coat. I thought nobody could recognize me. I was wearing my hat.
SPEAKER_00:We know you, Uncle Tony.
SPEAKER_01:I've been doing it for years. Nobody else saw. I thought I could just... Get away with it a couple more
SPEAKER_00:times. I think you would throw us off now with the hat, the man bun, and the yoga pants.
SPEAKER_01:But you still recognize me, don't you? I
SPEAKER_00:barely did. It was hard, though. I barely did. I know.
SPEAKER_01:You can hardly tell me and Smurf Girl apart. We're like twinsies. We're like twinsies. Gosh. Hot in a suit coat.
UNKNOWN:What?
SPEAKER_01:No, and you know what she did? She's so worldly. She taught me how to vape. You, too. What? I'm seeing you do what you do, and I started, I went, first thing I did is I put my hat on and went to go buy a vape.
SPEAKER_00:Uncle Tony, I would never, ever vape Uncle Tony.
SPEAKER_01:Me neither. God, no nefties. We're not even civilized at the hall anymore. Not
SPEAKER_00:even. I know. It was weird. It was weird.
SPEAKER_01:Might as well disfellowship everybody. As a matter of
SPEAKER_00:fact, because I was still there a little bit physically when they changed the dress code. And I used to tell all the elders, I was like, what would Tony say? Like, what the hell would Tony say?
SPEAKER_01:I know. I'm like, go for it. Who cares anymore? Who cares? We're the religion that thinks a demonized smurf ran down the aisle that came to mob. We have to be as equally stupid as that. Like, you know, we don't disappoint in the stupid department, now do we?
SPEAKER_00:We don't. I'm no part of that anymore. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:There's not one person on the face of the planet that would ever say, oh, the Jehovah's Witnesses would never be so stupid as to think a smurf ran down the aisle at Kingdom Hall. Not one person ever says that. Not one person denies that a Jehovah's Witness would think that and be scared of that. Not
SPEAKER_00:one. That was a scary story when I was a boy.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I know. And he's still out there running. Do you see him right there? He's right there under the Fez hat. And that's my cabbage patches. They're even worse. No. I got tarot cards right
SPEAKER_00:there. No.
UNKNOWN:No.
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_01:That's like a porcelain painting of me. That's right there.
SPEAKER_00:No. That's why you need to check that out.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, say it again.
SPEAKER_00:I'm starting to see why you got kicked out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, I'm a life warrior, you know? I'm a windbag. You know, I've got a lot of nicknames over the years. But yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_00:What are you doing?
SPEAKER_01:I'm hot.
SPEAKER_00:Something about you just looks so different.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's good.
SPEAKER_00:No,
SPEAKER_01:apparently the people were thinking I got kicked off for being a cross-dresser, for being all weird about Smurf Girl. I don't know. You know what the rumor is.
SPEAKER_00:The rumor is you all are never in the same room together.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Oh, she just walked in the door. Hey, Toonsis, how you doing? Yeah, this is my Toonsie. I call her Toonsie when, you know.
SPEAKER_00:She's
SPEAKER_01:back from the store. No, we're in the same room. She's just over there.
SPEAKER_00:I should text her.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Oh, God, don't. No, I mean, you know. God. Like... You know, when I look at the governing body, I think that it's never going to be the same. Like, it's seriously never going to be the same.
SPEAKER_00:Why do you
SPEAKER_01:think that? Oh, I'm getting hot. Oh, I'm getting hot. Mitch, I'm getting hot.
SPEAKER_00:You've changed a little bit, Tony.
SPEAKER_01:I know. You know, Tony's coming out of me.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know. I don't know what it is. There's something about you. I just can't put my hands on it. But there's something about
SPEAKER_01:you. Poor Uncle Tony. Poor Uncle Tony. He's going to be like, what? We need some kind of music. Uncle Tony brings it out of me.
SPEAKER_00:No more fireballs for you, Tony. No more
SPEAKER_01:fireballs. I like being Uncle Tony. I'm sorry. No, you know, it feels good. Oh my God. It'd be like, yeah. Oh, Tony. Tony. Um, no, uncle Tony. I got my yoga pants. Ah, just love that guy. But, um, no, we got to know, like, wasn't there a rumor that, Okay. I'm Smurf Girl. Oh, hey. See, we're in the same room. You just saw him. And you just saw me. I'm here. Uncle Tony, sit down. Shut up. I'm talking to
SPEAKER_00:Smurf Girl now.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Yeah, I'm back.
SPEAKER_00:Prove it. If you're Smurf Girl, you'll have hair all over your head.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. No.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. No, I've
SPEAKER_01:been wearing a hat all day. No, I like wearing this hat. And I've been wearing this hat. And I went in and I got it. And I was like walking around. I was like... Oh, I'm like, do I look and I said to strangers, I said, hey, if I wear this, will I look like I'm going to do an impression of Uncle Tony? Do I look like Uncle Tony? And I'm like, Uncle Tony. And they're like, oh, yeah, you look like Uncle Tony. So even strangers thought, you know, I was doing Uncle Tony.
SPEAKER_00:They had no idea.
SPEAKER_01:No, they couldn't even tell. They're like, Uncle Tony. Even people knew who Uncle Tony was. Now, it's something about the hat. It's something about the hat.
SPEAKER_00:His hair is similar.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. There's something about him, though, Mitch. Like, there's something about Uncle Tony. Like, for God's sake. For God's sake.
SPEAKER_00:Like what?
SPEAKER_01:Where did he go? You know, because, okay, this is the thing. Us apostates know what happened with Uncle Tony, right? Like, we all know. Like, obviously, you know, there was a problem. And we were talking about it. We all knew. But for the witnesses, they're acting like it was no big deal. And they're not saying like with Raymond France and everybody. All the people in the Jehovah's Witnesses knew. Why? You know, like when you're in it and it's not like the witnesses don't know, too. You know what I'm saying? The witnesses know. Like they they know why Uncle Tony. They know more than anybody else. They saw it. And it was them being upset with Uncle Tony. It was like the witnesses being super upset and pissed off at what Uncle Tony was doing. And he gets kicked off. They know more of why he got kicked off than anyone else on the face of the planet. And, you know... We deserve an explanation, right?
SPEAKER_00:Some might not know. Because you can't let the witnesses know. Some of our listeners and viewers might not know. So why? What do they do?
SPEAKER_01:Good question. And every single, I mean, I know. Because, you know, like for me, you were still in the organization when that happened. I was not. You know, we were doing concerted efforts targeting him. We got him at the liquor store. We got him doing this. We got him doing that. I'm all online. We had him where we wanted him. And we made, you know, when Uncle Brent lost his mind and committed triple homicide, with everything else we had caught him doing, that was the final straw. Like that, that while he's being a jackass up on the platform, that people are being murdered. You know what I mean? Like people were being murdered of online apostates being me, that the people he was supposed to be, you know, supposed to be shepherding are getting murdered because of what's going on in the apostate community. And there were certain things that were said about him. Like I had said, you know, um, At the memorial, I dressed a little girl up in a Smurf costume and went to the memorial, and I stood up and I said, this is a Masonic Black Mass, and Toni Morris is from the Philip Morris family. And, you know, that there was things, you know, what Lloyd Evans was saying and doing, and who got bottle gate on tape, and things where we got him in a way, us apostates, as a whole, in such a way... that they couldn't help but remove them after everything that happened. Like it was just this, you know, pillow gate, bottle gate, me standing up at the memorial, various, a bunch of other stuff. And also his own mouth, his own mouth got him. Like his own mouth got him. He would say, you know, I'm from a wealthy family, don't you? You know, it's like, oh, well then what wealthy family? I'm filling in the blanks for everybody. That it would be the wealthy family he bragged about being a part of was the Philip Morris family, considering his last name is Morris. What other Morris family would there be that's wealthy? Name me one.
SPEAKER_00:Those who don't know, you're talking about the tobacco family.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, which is why we're smoking. And why then also me saying he's from the Philip Morris family and then his last talk is, you know, whoops, I can't even do it, you know, lighting up a match and being like, oh, this is what we do to Jehovah's enemies, you know. out like smoke, you know. And then he's the one that's out when everybody, you know, me starting it, saying he's from the Philip Morris family and he's out like smoke.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my goodness. Wow. You
SPEAKER_01:know, because that's what I said many, many, many times at the memorial, on six screens of the Watchtower, on my channel, and he would brag about being from a wealthy family. So, Who else would it be? Considering that's what they made him do. They made him do it. I
SPEAKER_00:don't know. Let me look something up real quick. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:I might be... What?
SPEAKER_00:I said, if you're talking, I'm looking something up. I may be connecting some dots here.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Because if I was the one that did it, if it was me instead... Where it's like, you know, I'm from a wealthy family. I'm from a wealthy family. You know, I'm you know, I'm Rose Rose Morris, you know, and saying that. And then I do a match and blow it out and I get kicked off the governing body. You'd be like, oh, well, she had to have been like if it was me or if even it was you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:What other assumption would there be? None. None.
SPEAKER_00:Are you Googling it? Yeah, I'm looking up something real quick, but you made me think about something.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm. And you know he was a drinker. So he was a drinker, and when he's saying he's from a wealthy family and his last name is Morris, and he's walking around the liquor store with a hat on and a trench coat... Like, just that in itself.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, my goodness. You know,
SPEAKER_01:and everyone has an Uncle Tony. You know what I mean? Everyone has some alcoholic Uncle Tony, and he's slurring his words and, you know, being all stupid. But that's the thing that makes him so lovable. Like, as an apostate, those things about him, I love, personally. Like, I want him to know that, that, that about him. He used to, I mean, seriously, he used to back in the day when I was little, cause I've known him forever. He used to have one of these in his jacket pocket and, and me and Jesse would feel it. And he'd be like, no, that's my pacemaker. That's my pacemaker. You're going to give me a heart attack. You're going to give me a heart. No, I want to see it. You're going to, that's my medicine. It's my medicine. You know?
SPEAKER_00:So that's why you're saying... So
SPEAKER_01:that's how I know this is Uncle Tony.
SPEAKER_00:Huh.
SPEAKER_01:And I can't, you know...
SPEAKER_00:This is crazy.
SPEAKER_01:What'd you find? Well,
SPEAKER_00:no, I'm just looking up, like, how it started and everything. Yeah. That big ol' tobacco
SPEAKER_01:company. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00:And you think that's why he made the match reference.
SPEAKER_01:Say it again.
SPEAKER_00:You think that's why he made the match reference? Oh,
SPEAKER_01:yeah. Because he was drinking and smoking and being all Uncle Philip Morris. Uncle Tony Philip Morris. Well, and his nickname is Smoke. Like, Uncle Tony Smoke. You know, Tony Smoke Morris. Like, you can hear him at people. Oh, here comes Tony Smoke Morris. Oh, he's going to go out like smoke. I just like doing that, man.
SPEAKER_00:Doing
SPEAKER_01:sage at this point.
SPEAKER_00:No. No.
SPEAKER_01:What? No sage?
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_01:We
SPEAKER_00:don't do that type of stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Come on. Let's do some tarot, Mitch.
SPEAKER_00:No. Stop. Anyway, so... People have been really, really commenting on our episodes. They love Smurf Girl. Someone, okay, this is what I'm thinking. Because someone said they wanted to know more of your story. I'm thinking, like, on our next episode, we need to, like, just, like, grill in on it. Like, give a little bit more of your story. We touched on it on our first episode. We touched on it, but I think some who aren't aware of you, because you have a huge following.
SPEAKER_01:I know it's weird that they wouldn't. I'm just demonized Smurf girl, man. Like, I'm demonized Smurf girl with Jehovah's Witnesses. What is there not to know?
SPEAKER_00:That might scare people, though, when you put the demonized in front of it.
SPEAKER_01:Well, they called me that. I didn't name myself Mitch. I didn't name myself. There's a demonized smurf girl, you know. Her dad's a serial killer. She's scary. She's this. You know, she's that. Oh, my God. You know, they're the ones that said it. Like, of my story, you know it because you're the ones that said it about me. You know? Like, my story is what other people said about me. Right?
SPEAKER_00:so
SPEAKER_01:it's like what you said about me is my story but it was because of you know um like back in the day most people are dead you know they of the adults during that time of 1982 like how old would an adult be from 1982 like Most of the adults would have been like my mother's age, which it would have been like in their 30s. So any adults that did that to me would be like in their 70s. Some of them didn't make it. And so a lot of those, there's some remnants of the demonized Smurf left behind of the adults that did that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like it was adults that called me names and adults that my behavior, which you've seen my behavior, you know, my behavior. Flipped out like how I flip you out sometimes, you know, don't do that. What do you mean? You know, like, yeah, come on, let's do some Ouija, you know? No, no. I would freak him out even more being a Jehovah's Witness. And of the Witnesses that I knew, you know, hanging around with Uncle Tony, you know, hanging around with certain people, I was untouchable. Like, I even had bodyguards. Like, as a teenager, I had to have bodyguards from you great, proud Jehovah's Witnesses. Like, I did. I've got pictures of having bodyguards. It was the stupidest. I mean, witnesses went, like, in the 80s all the way up to, like, 1990. Jehovah's Witnesses were stupid around me. I've never in my entire life just been stupid. Especially, I mean, in the Midwest, here in Tucson. I've never seen a group of stupider people in my entire life where, you know... We
SPEAKER_00:were afraid.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And you should be like, they
SPEAKER_00:should be. Oh,
SPEAKER_01:if you would have seen it firsthand, Mitch, you would have lost your mind. And there wasn't anyone that didn't know my family that didn't know that we ran watchtower in multiple different ways. You know, walking around just like how the body do with bodyguards now. Walking around with bodyguards. Stupid brothers. You know, being stupid at me. Just being stupid.
SPEAKER_00:Why did you need a bodyguard?
SPEAKER_01:Because brothers would be stupid. And well, for one, well, you know, to keep certain people away from me. Like he, you know, I don't want to say, but you keep certain people, you know, certain, the way I would describe it, keeping certain Michael Jacksons away from me. Just certain brothers that would be like, ooh, that's demonized Smurf girl, that's demonized Smurf girl, like the pictures that I have, like the Michael Jackson kind of brothers that would, they'd just be all Michael Jackson. You know, you remember that one song called What's that song where he follows that girl around and he's following her and he's singing to her and he's following her? I
SPEAKER_00:forget.
SPEAKER_01:It's an old one. When I was young, I would walk around the assembly like this. And there would be boys, you know, just like, oh, hey, you want to go roller skating? You want to do that? You want to do that? And so, like, you know, me, this, needed a bodyguard at the assembly. Two bodyguards. One for each side. You know? And that, like, flanking. Like, no, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_00:How long did that go on?
SPEAKER_01:It was nuts. It was nuts, and it's been nuts ever since. Like, it's been nuts recently. It's been... Yeah, it's
SPEAKER_00:crazy. Why
SPEAKER_01:has it
SPEAKER_00:been nuts recently?
SPEAKER_01:It's just always, you know, you get crazy messages, like, of what you get. Like, okay, of the messages you get. You say about the messages you get. What kind of messages do you think I get? Okay? You're you. You're a guy. You're you. So just what do you think goes on on my end of things?
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:You know, it's weird. I'm used to it. It's not as bad as it used to be when I was in the organization, but you know, it's still bad. Like, it's still bad. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:So I want to know Like, what's in store for you? Like, what does Smurf Girl's future look like?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. Don't know. Anything goes. We'll take this show to the next level of, like, you know, we'll take it to the next level and we'll see. There's no holds barred. After this, do you know how envious ex-Mormons are of us ex-Jehovah's Witnesses?
SPEAKER_00:No. Why?
SPEAKER_01:Well, how do you think they feel when they haven't had any major changes in forever? And we have, where it's like, oh, no, we fight like badasses. We fight like motherfuckers. We're going to, you know, we don't take no for an answer. We're going to keep going. Do you know how they would want to have a member of their prophets be kicked off like Uncle Tony? I bet, yeah. Because can you imagine if it was the Mormons that started to be able to grow beards? and have pants and have one of their prophets. Or Scientology, where someone on Scientology got kicked off big time. You know, any other cult, their goal is to be what we are, of what we've accomplished. That's what they want, too.
SPEAKER_00:I see what you're saying now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:Where, I mean, I can't imagine if it would have happened with the Mormons, how disappointed I would have been. Like, how come it couldn't have been us? We're doing, you know, there's, you know, of what we're doing, but we did because, you know, that's the kind of people we are.
SPEAKER_00:Right? Circling back to, do you think, so some are saying, and I'm asking this because of things I see. Some are saying, that he reached that age where they suggest people leave.
SPEAKER_01:No, they're all around the same age. So... That's what I think. He's probably even older. Garrett Loesch is older. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think, yeah, I think he might even, well, other than Mark Sanderson, he's probably right in the middle. I wouldn't think he's, you know, he's obviously not the youngest. Like, Mark would be the youngest, but he's not the oldest by far at all. And there's others that, like, you know, Garrett Loesch would be, or like David Splane if it was age. Don't think like a witness. Don't talk like a witness. You know? There's one thing that the only witnesses will refute what us apostates have got to say. You know, it's like, oh, no, you know, it's it was a bunch of things. It was just it was over. You know what I mean? When it's like, no, the fat lady sang and it's over, Uncle Tony. It was just over. Wow.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I'm just like, like, I'm relaying comments that I hear to you. so that you can answer. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. So what other comments? That's
SPEAKER_00:mainly it. Some say, no, it was the age. They asked him to leave because of that. Others say he's... So, oh, this is the other. I wanted to run this by you, too. I've seen this slant all week long. They're saying that for whatever reason, they wanted to quiet him up. And so they sent him to a home that they bought in North Carolina.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. Oh, I forgot I was going to talk about that. Yeah, that home is called Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. You remember that? He's doing Celebrity Rehab. I did non-celebrity rehab. I did regular rehab. Because I did rehab. He did rehab. This is me sober. Lovely. Not really. With the fireball. They were going to get him sober for his health and his mental well-being. He's needed rehab since I was little. Like, he's needed rehab. Like, personally. You know, carrying a little fireball in his pocket. Calling it a pacemaker. You know, he's had problems for a long time. But that was what made him so awesome. Is that, like, as long... Okay, this is the thing with Uncle Tony. As long as he likes you. If he likes you. And you like him. And you're in good with him. And you're thick like thieves. He's the greatest guy in the whole world. I know. But if he gives you the cold shoulder and cuts you off, you know, cause when I was in good with them, you know, like, and then I'm just doing modeling and I'm all gung ho, then all of a sudden he wants to treat me like I was nothing. It's like, oh, you're going to use my image. You're going to do this. You're going to do that. And when he was being uncle Tony, it was fine because you get perks for being uncle Tony's, you know what I mean? Yeah. But when he's going to act like, oh, I don't know, who are you? I'm blind. Who are you? You know, I don't think so. It's like, you know exactly who I am, buddy.
SPEAKER_00:And you said this is when you modeled?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:He treated you like
SPEAKER_01:that? Oh, being Uncle Tony? Oh, yeah, I was his favorite. I was Uncle Tony's favorite. Oh, can we use, you know, we want to use you for a song or can we do this? You know, can you do kingdom melody? We like the way you sing. We want to do, you know, we want to use this experience of you in the magazine for you doing school. Like remember that school report you did? Oh, we're so, you know, they, they, they do that with everybody where they will stroke your ego to use you. And then you go up on the stage and then you get the people that are on the stage for the assembly. You know, those assembly stage people. I was one of those where it's like you go up and you're holding your Bible and you've got your experience and you're like, yeah, I was in school and I was pioneering and I did a report. And yeah, it was one of those stupid, annoying girls on the platform.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, one of them bitches on the platform that's like, oh, isn't she a goody goody? Isn't she just perfect? Well,
SPEAKER_00:aren't you?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I am.
SPEAKER_00:See?
SPEAKER_01:I was too perfect. I know.
SPEAKER_00:No,
SPEAKER_01:I was. I was totally like, I was just the most perfect Jehovah's Witness girl on the face of the planet. And then got married off at 16. And then I used to say, you know why? Because I was too perfect. It sounds arrogant, but it's like they're just so... Well, you can never be too perfect either. For me personally, with Uncle Tony and Arden Hansen, I could not be perfect enough. Of all the pictures that I've shown, now that I look at it, it's like, God, those are so cute. Just beautiful photographs of my teenage years. And those beautiful photographs, I was not perfect enough for Arden Hansen and Uncle Tony. So this is what it looks like, Uncle Tony, when you don't think I'm perfect enough for you. Now you're not perfect enough. You know? He's far from perfect. But I was not perfect enough, and then I became collateral damage because I was such a troublemaker. You know? I was the queen of, you know, sneaking around.
SPEAKER_00:Why did you become a troublemaker?
SPEAKER_01:Because I knew all the bigwigs and knew what hypocrites they were, and I would try and wake people up. I'd try and wake you up. Con was by my behavior, by my... Brat behavior was my way of trying to wake people up. And because people would look and say, oh, look at that little girl. She's from an elite Jehovah's Witness family. Look at her stepdad's doing the help desk. Her stepdad's doing the sound at the assembly. Why is she acting like such a brat? And I'd be like, because I'm trying to wake you up, man. Like trying to wake you up.
SPEAKER_00:So I would just be
SPEAKER_01:a piece of work.
SPEAKER_00:You have to watch those sound guys at the assembly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, oh.
SPEAKER_00:I was a sound
SPEAKER_01:guy. You was a sound guy? Oh, yeah, you were a sound
SPEAKER_00:guy. What am I saying? What are you trying to say about me?
SPEAKER_01:That you vast apostate liar, mentally diseased apostate, demonized apostate Mitch.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not a sound guy.
SPEAKER_01:I'm demonized apostate. I don't mind admitting it. Demonized. I love being demonized.
UNKNOWN:Stop.
SPEAKER_01:Stop. Oh, I don't got one. Oh, guess what, Mitch? They took my ring away when they kicked me off the body. They took it away.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I love I miss it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah,
SPEAKER_01:they took my ring away. They took my ring. They said, can't hand it over. Bragger. Bragger.
SPEAKER_00:Years.
SPEAKER_01:That
SPEAKER_00:picture you posted of us.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:When I was young and had hair.
SPEAKER_01:Say it again.
SPEAKER_00:I said, remember that picture you posted of us earlier this week when I was young and had hair. I was flashing. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I love it. I know. And you had, yeah, that was the same ring you had in that picture. And you're the one that's, yeah, like there are brothers that got those big, and he really, it's a status symbol of just being like a made man in the mafia, like being a washed her mafia made man. I got my Beamer. I'm big Mitch with my big ring.
SPEAKER_00:I told people, I told people, like on one of my uh videos that i made when i'm trying to tell people like how it really is an organization that's what i likened it to i told him when you become a servant and an elder it's like you're a made man it's hard to get knocked down
SPEAKER_01:oh yeah
SPEAKER_00:god i
SPEAKER_01:can't believe yeah
SPEAKER_00:i would have accusations against me from idiots but the elders wouldn't want to do anything to me like Yeah, they would be, in essence, they would make up stories to defend me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I tried to tell people that's just how it is. It's very hard to get knocked down. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, once you get made and you get friends on that elder body, they will back you up. It's just like the mafia. I was trying to explain it to other people.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I liken it to the mafia all the time.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, and also with the mafia, when they have a situation, how do they, you know, it's like, oh, don't worry. Like, oh, for an example, Jehovah will take care of it. Like, imagine, like, when they say that, oh, don't worry, you know what? Oh, you know, is there any second witnesses? Like, okay, I'm going to say this in a real gangster way. If you come to me and you say, this, this, and this just happened, whatever it is, I'd be like, well, were there any second witnesses to admit? No, no, no, there weren't. Okay, well, you know what? I'll have Jehovah take care of it, okay? You know? Don't call the cops, though. I'll have Jehovah take care of it. Because there ain't no second witnesses, right? But who did it? And if I knew, if I was like a John Gotti, I would go take care of it. I'd have Jehovah take care of it, you know, of whoever Jehovah would be. And be like, yeah, you know, there's this guy, he's XYZ, you know, kids, whatever it would be. Why don't you go, you know, why don't Jehovah go teach him a lesson on, you know, touching on kids? What would that mean? If I were to say, oh, you know, that guy's touching on some kids, I'll go have Jehovah take care of it. You know, don't even bother calling the cops. You know, it'll be done by morning. You know, like, that's how you could take that. That if there's no way, because, I mean, look at what happened with Uncle Brent and Uncle Clyde. You know, they told me Jehovah was going to take care of that situation. And that is what happened. So what else am I supposed to think, right? Like, what am I supposed to think? Knowing it's like, oh, well, what? Is that Jehovah's way of taking care of things that the cops didn't take care of it, so Jehovah did? It's like, okay. You know? And so, you know, it's a way to put those, you know, those kinds of pedos on notice that when the brothers do say that in some instances... a lot that when Jehovah takes care of it, it doesn't end up with a jail cell. Well, it sometimes does, but that there's a lot of collateral damage when Jehovah takes care of it. Jehovah takes care of it in a more messy kind of a way. And we see the mess. We see it in the headlines all the time. Brother goes to the kingdom hall and takes his wife. You know, this thing, that thing. Lauren Stewart, Christian Longo, Uncle Brent, Uncle Clyde. You know, all these things. Countless. I don't think they want Jehovah to take care of it. But in my opinion, when I see Jehovah taking care of a situation like that, I'm getting to the point where I kind of appreciate it at this point. Where it's like, I stand up and I'm like, yay! Look at how Jehovah took care of that. You know, thank you, Jehovah. And I sing a little song for them.
SPEAKER_00:Because something bad might happen to different people. That's what you mean by that.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. They get taken care of one way or another. Like Jehovah handled Uncle Tony. You know, did they call the cops on Uncle Tony? No, they took care of him one way or another. You know, and he's blowing out his own match and it's this and it's that. Like, is he sure that's the way he will, the route he wants to take? You know, I mean, that's kind of a deep, scary situation, you know, for, for somebody to talk about, but it's true. Like I've seen it with my own eyes. So
SPEAKER_00:it's like, I don't know how ready people would be to like hear that and accept it. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, what's the other alternative? You know what I mean? Because in every situation when that's going on, does it ever end well? Like it never does. It always ends up in something horrifying. When Jehovah handles it. Like when the court, like, you know, but when Jehovah handles it, when Jehovah handles the situation, brothers and sisters, does it ever end without someone going Uncle Brent on somebody else? No, it doesn't. When Jehovah handles it, because ask yourself, when Jehovah handles it, does it ever end up where it's not on the table of a homicide detective? It doesn't. It always, you know, it always does. It always ends up in a file where then the whole family's obliterated and there's usually no witnesses left to talk about it. And, you know, the whole family then gets uncle-brainted is how it always ends up.
SPEAKER_00:Why? Why does it only happen like that with some? And not with all the victims.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it hasn't happened yet. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:You
SPEAKER_01:can't have it happen all at once. But, you know, God, Mitch. You know.
SPEAKER_00:I'm asking the questions that the viewers are going to ask. That's what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, I know for a fact that the way that it's playing out is It's playing out in a certain order where it's like, you know, Christian Longo linked to Lauren Stewart. Lauren Stewart linked to me. Uncle Brent linked to me, you know, and then linked to Uncle Clyde, linked to this one. There's a lot, you know, Jeffrey Epstein links. There's links to each one of them. Of what's happening in the news of these things, they're not random. Where it's like, oh, I remember that brother. Oh, he's linked to Lauren Stewart. Or that brother's linked to Christian Longo. That brother's linked to this other person. It's all links of a chain. And as each link, you know, because this is how it was described. As each link starts to break, then another one will snap. Like, they'll see... You know, there's several ones. Oh, God. Oh, God. I know all about Clyde Hanson. You know, I know all. Oh, God. Oh, God. And then they start having elder bodies. And when they start having judicials. And then somebody will snap. Somebody will lose it. And there's another link to the chain. And then something else somewhere else. Another link to a chain. Then there's Uncle Tony. Another link to a chain. You know. And I know the chain. it's hanging around my neck. And I'm like, Oh, there's another one, you know, until the neck, the necklace is just so tight around there, all their necks that they're not going to be able to breathe. You know, we're all you got to do. Like if, um, I'm working on getting my judicial records subpoenaed. And if my judicial, if demonized smart girls, judicial records were out, um, You know, I've got the pictures too, where it's like, oh yeah, this goes with this, this goes with that. My judicial file, it might as well be the Epstein file. This is what it might as well be. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:You have a lot of names on your judicial file,
SPEAKER_01:huh? Yeah, I mean, what would you assume? You know what I'm saying? Well, you
SPEAKER_00:know,
SPEAKER_01:I'm
SPEAKER_00:I don't say everything that you and I talk about. I let you say what you're comfortable saying. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I'm asking questions that I know I've seen and maybe some of our listeners may be asking. So that's why I'm asking certain questions.
SPEAKER_01:Well, of all the people, of all the thousands, if not millions, not even just the thousands online, All the answers to what really happened with the demonized Smurf and everything and afterwards is all in my file. You know? When somebody makes a video and says, what really happened with that demonized Smurf? Oh, it's in my file. You know? It's in my mom's file.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Arden Hansen's file. It's in Uncle Tony's file. It's in Uncle Stephen's file. It's in all their files, you know, of everyone that was there at
SPEAKER_00:that
SPEAKER_01:Kingdom Hall that day. The memorial, April 8th, 1982. Everyone that was at the memorial at our Kingdom Hall in Ortonville, Minnesota, which was a small Kingdom Hall, but It's in every single one of their files. And at this point, and in Breckenridge, Minnesota. And at this point, some really horrible things of the people in those congregations that were involved with that. There has, you know, Uncle Clyde was there. Uncle Brent was there. Uncle Tony was there. You know, I was there. My mom was there. Of all these people, it's like, and what happened with those individuals that were there? Anything good? Most of them we can't even ask because they're dead and in jail. Uncle Morris Hanson was there. He's doing life too. You
SPEAKER_00:know?
SPEAKER_01:My grandma's dead. She can't say anything. Junkyard grandma. Um... You know, and so that's just a word of warning to anybody else that was there for that Ortonville memorial. It's in your file. Watch our nose. Do I care? No, because I'm the most visible one. You know, and they're all scared of me. Can you imagine those people that were there? I was scared of her. You know, why? Why? Time to play hardball. Like it really is. Cause it's like, it's not something that's like a minimal big deal. It was the biggest scandal to ever happen. What's like, if we say what's the biggest scandal to ever happen?
SPEAKER_00:I mean, there's
SPEAKER_01:an uncle Tony, which it's related. For
SPEAKER_00:me, that's it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That damn Smurf store.
SPEAKER_01:And it's related to everything else. Everything else is just, uh, Me getting older, you know, and various family members of like, oh, yeah, then Uncle Clyde grows up and then he's a stew, you know, and then me and then Uncle Tony. Then Uncle Tony gets made on the governing body and then look at what happens to him. You know, it's just like it's a family saga. That's what we used to call it. Like, you know, Smurf Girls family saga. It's like, oh, no, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's really become something.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It was so much more than what people realize.
SPEAKER_00:After all these years, it's still being talked about.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I thought people
SPEAKER_00:forgot about it. And people are still talking about it.
SPEAKER_01:I know. What's that been? 43 years. No, wait. 41. No, wait.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think you're right, 43, 44, something
SPEAKER_01:like that. 82. Yeah. 43 years. I was eight. Like, yeah, that was, God, that was awful. You know? Movies were about it.
SPEAKER_00:Actually, it was an assembly part. I was still living in Chicago at the time. One of the talks at the assembly talked about it. He was like, if you have one of those, you need to throw it away tonight. We didn't have any, but I was still terrified as shit. Was
SPEAKER_01:I on the stage for it? Was there a little girl on the stage for it?
SPEAKER_00:No, this was in Chicago. It was just a brother giving a talk.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because they did take me at all the bowl assemblies, you know, the Cotton Bowl, the Coliseum, the Rose Bowl, going Rose Bundy Bowl, Rose Bowl Bundy hunting. That's how I'm named after the Rose Bowl assembly. Going Rose Bowl Bundy hunting. That's what he called it. Isn't that nuts? You know, and taking to all the different bowl assemblies and then giving the parts. You know, scaring the crap out of you guys.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01:Well, they needed to scare people in after they were leaving like crazy after 75. Yeah. Like, and it did. It feared them in. Where they were like, oh, if we leave the organization, we don't want to leave demonized. And it's like, I mean, seriously, you guys were so demonized, it wasn't funny. Just, I've never, like, seen the demonized reaction of Jehovah's Witnesses back then was over the top. It was over the top. I mean, all of a sudden, the adults started beating their kids with wooden spoons, that kind of demonization of just mothers and fathers dragging their kids down the aisle, dislocating their shoulders, you know, and hands over the mouth, mouth-popping wedding rings, chewing on paper towels with a bloody mouth. I mean, do you know how little boys like you, you remember sucking on a paper towel during the meeting?
SPEAKER_00:My mom was swapping me with the truth book real quick.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah?
SPEAKER_00:People would hear a sound in the hall, but they didn't know where it came from.
SPEAKER_01:God.
SPEAKER_00:She was fast.
SPEAKER_01:No, the little boys mainly would be sucking on a paper towel because they'd get their mouth popped.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, my goodness.
SPEAKER_01:You know, getting bloody in the inside of your mouth. And I need a paper towel. And then sucking on a paper towel. The wooden spooning and knowing that that was why. That was intense. That was really intense. Having to watch and knowing why all the parents were all of a sudden throwing out all their kids' toys. You know, I need to, you know, cool. Cause you know what, you know, why witness kids had to throw out all their toys all the time was because the parents blamed the kids is bad behavior and tantrums at the meeting and stuff on their toys. Like, Oh, you know, maybe their toys are making them throw a tantrum at the meeting. And it's like, maybe because you're a bad parent is why, you know? Maybe because you're in a psycho cult. You know? I mean, the bloody mouse that I saw. You remember back in the 80s seeing little kids with the black baby teeth? You remember seeing, you know, sometimes kids that had the black baby teeth?
SPEAKER_00:Like they were rotten?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like just black baby teeth. There was... After 1982, there were a lot of little boys in the organization that had little black baby or brown, little brown or black baby teeth. And when I got older, I was at the dentist when I had my own kid and she had bumped her tooth. And he goes, it might turn brown or it might, you know, because when you bump your baby teeth real bad. That's what happens. And I'm like, oh, that's why, yeah, it's trauma of when you have brown or black baby teeth is because your baby teeth get knocked and traumatized. And it turns out they die because of that, you know. And there were a lot from, you know, 82 to... You know, 1990, a lot of those little kids had black and brown baby teeth. And it was because they were getting popped in the mouth too much.
SPEAKER_00:I
SPEAKER_01:don't know how much it's happening now, but in the 80s, it happened a lot.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I don't think it happens now. It's a lot of parents don't believe in spanking kids.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I firmly believe that's why, you know, child abuse is being made more public. And when kids started to call the cops on their own parents was Jehovah's Witness kids calling the cops on their own parents. You could be arrested for spanking me this bad at the meeting. And kids were calling the cops on their own parents. And I think a lot of those kids that did that were witness kids. A lot of them. Because I know I did, and I got a lot of other kids, you should call the cops on your parents if they're doing that, and da-da-da-da-da-da-da, that a lot of that stems from child abuse happening, and the witnesses' kids calling the cops on their own parents.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:On their witness parents.
SPEAKER_00:I don't think that happened too much on the black community.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I don't know. No.
SPEAKER_00:No. Black kids didn't call the cops.
SPEAKER_01:No?
SPEAKER_00:No, not on their parents.
SPEAKER_01:Us white Jehovah's Witness kids did, though.
SPEAKER_00:I can see that. No. We would have got our ass kicked in front of the police.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. No, you know, I do remember, you know, I had a Black boyfriend, like one of my first boyfriends.
SPEAKER_00:What?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, what?
SPEAKER_00:Can't tell me that.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. No, I'm friends with him on Facebook, actually. I talk to him quite often. But he said the same thing. He said the same thing. That he goes, no, this is just normal. I said, well, not for me. It's not normal. That's not normal. And so I would get all upset. And he'd just be like, oh, no, it's normal. I'm like, that's not normal. He goes, yeah, it is. I'm like, no, it's not.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe
SPEAKER_01:that's why Michael Jackson talked like a woman is because his mom kept beating him between the legs with a wooden
SPEAKER_00:spoon. Am
SPEAKER_01:I too outspoken?
SPEAKER_00:No, I said Michael Jackson was a soft-spoken man, that's all.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, soft-spoken man. Effeminate. Sallow, sanctimonious, like Jesus, according to Watchtower.
SPEAKER_00:So will you... We talked about this the other day. Are you still coming to, like, Kingdom Halls?
SPEAKER_01:Do I what?
SPEAKER_00:Are you still going to Kingdom Halls to send your message?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, sometimes. Well, I went to the Kingdom Hall, and then I went to the Assembly, and then I had to spend three and a half weeks in a lunatic asylum. So, no, I don't want to go anymore.
SPEAKER_00:What, they called on you or something when you showed up at the Assembly?
SPEAKER_01:No, I called and the cops don't get it. The cops still don't get apostasy, which is really upsetting. So I do want to say to other apostates, at this point, be careful. Because what we deal with, the authorities don't have a clue. And when they see it, like what we're talking about, you get what I'm saying. You know, when I talk about, oh, Uncle Tony Morris and this and this, you know, like when people say, well, Tony Morris got kicked off the governing body and beards and pants. And, you know, when you say beards and pants and Uncle Tony Morris, and when you start talking Watchtower to the cops, that sounds crazy to them.
SPEAKER_00:of
SPEAKER_01:what we're going through in the apostate community. The police think that that's the ravings of a lunatic. And it's like, no, we all know about Uncle Tony and it's this and it's that. And talking about even like Stephen Lett or talking about a demonized smurf running down the aisle at Kingdom Hall. Do you know what that sounds like to a police officer?
SPEAKER_00:I know what it sounded like to me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it sounds like lunatic.
SPEAKER_00:And
SPEAKER_01:then I say to them, well, you don't understand. I'm Smurf Girl. I'm XJW Smurf Girl. And, you know, Toni Morris got kicked off the governing body and its beards and its pants. And, you know, Mark Sanderson grew a beard. And they're thinking I'm crazy. And then I realized, you know, it does sound really crazy. And I admit it. So I took it like a woman. which is more than taking it as a Jehovah's Witness man. And I sat in that hospital for three and a half weeks. And I'm like, no, all you got. And I sat there. I said, I'm not taking any meds. All you got to do, doctor, is Google me. There's Google me. Until finally we were at a standoff. And I'm like, you know, Dr. Nima. I said, you got a computer sitting right there. I was sitting at his desk. And I'm like, Google me. And he goes, because he goes, you still, you know, like you still think, you know, that you're like on a show. Like, and I'm like, I do YouTube. You still think you have a show? Yeah, I got a show. This goes to Dr. Nima, by the way. You, Dr. Nima. You still think you got a show and you document like a documentary for, yeah. It's called XJW Network. And it's called XJW Smurf Girl. And so I said, doctor, and it had been three weeks. I was court ordered. I said, Google me, please. Wow, you got the internet? Okay, fine. So he goes, what is it? I'm like, XJW Smurf Girl. He Googles it. And I said, see, right there. That's me. This right here, that's me. Because I'm like, do you not know what a Jehovah's Witness is? No, I know what a Jehovah's Witness is. And, you know, are you still really upset of your depression about this, you know, beards and pants? Like, he didn't even get it. I'm like, there's thousands of people online that get it. You know? Yeah, beards and pants and Tony Morris. And, you know, but to... A psychiatrist, it sounds crazy. To a police officer, it sounds crazy. So to apostates, just know that when we're ranting and raving about beards and pants and Toni Morris, that to the cops, that sometimes sounds lunatic. And so we need to keep it to ourself at this point. And then maybe with protests, also don't do a protest by yourself. Like words of warning. Don't go to the assembly by yourself.
SPEAKER_00:It's not safe.
SPEAKER_01:Like it's not safe. These witnesses, okay. You know, I just kind of bring, I'm just kind of thinking about this right now. Do not go to the assembly by yourself. Don't go to the kingdom hall and crash it by yourself. Because they have done things at this point that when an apostate says it to a police officer, the police officer looks at the apostate like we are crazy. Like, why are you so upset about beards? Why are you so upset about pants? Who's this Tony Morris character? Why are you so, you know, and then also then, you know, the pedophilia, the trafficking. Tony Morris, beards, pants, blah, blah, blah, all the things we talk about in the community on a regular basis will demonize Smurf. They look at us like we are raving lunatics. And that's what the Jehovah's Witnesses has done to us. And not one of the things that I'm bringing up is not 100% true. So be careful to anyone of the Kingdom Hall goers or Kirk Crashers. Be careful what you say to a police officer because you could end up, like me, being mistaken for a crazy person because the witness is in a crazy situation right now.
SPEAKER_00:But because of what you just said, do you think it's even wise to go crash a meeting?
SPEAKER_01:No. No. Not at all. Unless you can crash it and get out of there within a few minutes. Yeah. Do you know, but I would suggest, um, not, or if you do go with at least 10 other people or like 10 people total so that you have numbers on your side and to not get into all the beards, pants, tony morris details to the cops keep it as simple as possible because the actual details are so insane to a police officer they don't get it you know they they don't understand they don't understand the doctrine changes they don't understand having a governing body member kicked off they don't understand um like to go even about um Overlapping generation to a police officer. Yeah,
SPEAKER_00:they won't do it. They're going
SPEAKER_01:to think you're nuts.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So you would recommend just keeping the fight online?
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And at this point, the ones that are remaining are so few, and they're seriously, I've seen them with my own eyes, and not a single one is worth it anyway.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:They're so worthless. I hate to say it, but I think, Mitch, you were the last remaining decent person to leave. And now that you're gone nine months ago, the last remaining people are not worth our effort. And it's time. That's why I'm a different person. It's like, no, now it's time for closure. The last remaining decent individual is gone. And all the other ones are the worthless pedohiders that... But that's your anointing, Mitch. You're not anointed without your ring on.
SPEAKER_00:That's
SPEAKER_01:what makes you
SPEAKER_00:anointed.
SPEAKER_01:God, I can't see without my Uncle Tony glasses.
SPEAKER_00:Love it.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, see, I'm Uncle Tony again. Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_00:He's a
SPEAKER_01:cross-dresser. He's a cross-dresser. That was a ring that you took off, right?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I took my ring off. You said I was the last decent one. I was like, oh.
SPEAKER_01:I know. You have now been removed from the governing body. Oh. No. This
SPEAKER_00:is the hand I held the Bible with, so the ring just flashed the audience all the time.
SPEAKER_01:It's not the hand that held the songbook, is it? The back of the songbook guy. You're not the back of the song, Mitch, the back of the songbook guy. No.
SPEAKER_00:They would have needed a large
SPEAKER_01:frame. Once you go black of the songbook, you can't go back. That's a black of the songbook. This is Watchtower After Dark times, too.
SPEAKER_00:It wasn't me.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. Let's see. Am I talking to the real back of the songbook guy? It's Mitch, the back of the songbook guy.
SPEAKER_00:Let
SPEAKER_01:me see your wrist, Mitch. Let me see your wrist. Let me see your wrist. Does it match the back of the songbook?
SPEAKER_00:No, mine is darker.
SPEAKER_01:Let me see.
SPEAKER_00:It's
SPEAKER_01:totally you. No, it's Cecil. It's Cecil, the back of the songbook guy. But Mitch, you come in second.
UNKNOWN:Yes, there we go.
SPEAKER_01:We found them, ladies and gentlemen. No, that wrist is too thick. That's a thick wrist. Look at that thing.
SPEAKER_00:Arch it. You got to arch it. That's not me on the songbook.
SPEAKER_01:There we go.
SPEAKER_00:That's not me on the songbook. I'm telling you. Yeah, and
SPEAKER_01:then look at me all crook-eyed. Hey, let's recreate the back. Oh, wait. I'll hold something.
SPEAKER_00:I got
SPEAKER_01:something. We thank you,
SPEAKER_00:Jill. That's not me.
SPEAKER_01:Stop gawking at me, Mitch.
SPEAKER_00:Stop
SPEAKER_01:gawking at me with your weird-ass songbook rest.
SPEAKER_00:That's not me. If it was me, I would have told them I want to be the only one in the picture.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Oh, I could probably crop you out. Oh. Let's really mess with the songbook. Oh, wait, my phone.
SPEAKER_00:It wasn't me. It
SPEAKER_01:wasn't you. No. Ye who protest too much. I think Mitch was the back of the songbook guy. I think you're the back of the songbook guy. You're so cheesy. No, that wouldn't just be the funniest thing ever. God. Yeah, see, you can do it so good. No, Cecil does it better. Cecil does it. I got the hand that held the songbook. It's totally him. Is it you? It's totally you. It is totally you. Because you know. That
SPEAKER_00:guy wasn't wearing glasses. He wasn't wearing glasses on the songbook.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, I'm going to put glass. It's totally you. The back of the songbook, guys. Mitch, you heard it here first, everybody. From Uncle Tony. We just, ow. And you know what? Because I'm dressed like a detective. I'm a detective. Your Honor, I changed the plea, Mitch's plea, to guilty as charged.
SPEAKER_00:I would have told you that.
SPEAKER_01:I was being the best songbook guy. I'm Sherlock's
SPEAKER_00:worker. You've known me when we were teenagers. I would have told you that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I know Big Mitch. Big Mitch and his BMW going to Skate Country. I've known Mitch for a long time.
SPEAKER_00:Mitch. Where'd you get Big Mitch from?
SPEAKER_01:You.
SPEAKER_00:That's my disfellowshipped name.
SPEAKER_01:Mitch. Your disfellowship name?
SPEAKER_00:Big Mitch is my disfellowship name.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you were Big Mitch at Skate Country. Sexy Big Mitch in his BMW. No, you don't think I didn't hear about you? Little chocolate thunder from, you know, come on. You were a little chocolate rabbit. I could crack you open like an egg.
SPEAKER_00:See, you
SPEAKER_01:even admitted, no, I'm the back of the songbook guy. I knew it. I knew it. It's okay.
SPEAKER_00:We forgive you. That wrist was thin.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, it is seesaw. But trust me, it's seesaw. It was seesaw perk. I think it's seesaw perk. But yeah, seesaw the back of the penis. It's penis hand seesaw the back of the songbook guy.
SPEAKER_00:That was a small wrist. That's not me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I know. Yeah, if it was Mitch, you'd know it. If it was you, we'd know it. It'd be like, oh, man. Do you see the size of that guy's wrists? Huge. That's
SPEAKER_00:what you saw. I can't believe you.
SPEAKER_01:Terrible. This has been fun. It's been an hour and a half, so how long are we going to take this for?
SPEAKER_00:We should wrap it up now. Oh, my God. Before we get kicked off the air.
SPEAKER_01:I know. It's been fun. I enjoyed being Uncle Tony. Thank you. I
SPEAKER_00:enjoyed talking with Uncle Tony. I miss Uncle Tony.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I'm sorry. God. Goodbye to people. I'm really sorry about everything.
SPEAKER_00:I posted a picture of him today on my TikTok Instagram in honor of him.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Good. Poor Uncle Tony. I know when he does his hat like this, he's always got to do the front and the back. Uncle Tony. God. And he's got an outside. This is his inside hat, by the way. This is his inside
SPEAKER_00:hat. Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01:He's got an outside hat. I'll wear the outside hat. I got the outside hat, too. Do you like my tie? Look at how wide it is. Look at how wide. Wide.
SPEAKER_00:I know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. It's as wide as your forehead.
SPEAKER_00:Wow. Anything you want to say? Anything you want to say to wrap up?
SPEAKER_01:No, it's just Uncle Tony. If you do talk to somebody, I will never forgive you. If you talk to Lloyd Evans first, I will seriously never forgive you. And hopefully he'll talk to us. I say that within the next year, it took like three years for Crisis of Conscience to come out. So I'm thinking within the next 12 months that if he is going to write a book, hopefully he's writing it now. Nice. And, you know, that he does and that he's truthful. But, you know, if it, oh my God, can you imagine the whole world will come crashing down? Can you imagine?
SPEAKER_00:I would need an autographed copy.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I'll sign it for you. But, you know, his autograph ain't as good as mine. Mine's better.
SPEAKER_00:That's true. That's true.
SPEAKER_01:His ain't nothing without... He wouldn't be nothing without me either. So it's like, whatever. He wouldn't be nothing. Some two-bit governing body member. Now he's famous. He's famous.
SPEAKER_00:I
SPEAKER_01:told you I'd make you famous, Uncle Tony.
SPEAKER_00:You did.
SPEAKER_01:He's famous. I remember saying that to him. I was like, oh, no, Uncle Tony. You want to be famous? You want to be famous, buddy? I'll make you famous. He's famous now. He can be famous. Wow. I know. Now it's time for arrogance.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Now is time for arrogance. There's no arguing with a Jehovah's Witness anymore. There's no point of talking other doctrine. It's like, no, you're a fool. You're just a bunch of stupid fools. There's no point. And now it's time for us apostates to mock, have fun, have a good time. The pressure's off. They're stupid. They have to cover their faces with hair because they're embarrassed. And they can do so. And, you know, now's when the party gets started. You know? You know, man, I feel like a woman. You know? I feel like a woman. Now it's time to party.
SPEAKER_00:That's why I showed up. I heard it was going to be a party.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. I know. I'm pushing the red button.
SPEAKER_00:There's going to be a
SPEAKER_01:party.
SPEAKER_00:I'm here now. Big Mitch is here.
SPEAKER_01:I know. Whoop! Penis hand Mitch, the back of the songbook guy. You know, you should be a wrist model. You should be a wrist model, Mitch. Look at the wrist. Be a wrist model. We should recreate it. Oh, my God. Because, you know, I know how to edit. We should recreate the back of the songbook.
SPEAKER_00:I'll have my daughter take a picture of my wrist. And hold
SPEAKER_01:a songbook.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I will edit it and we'll make our own back of the songbook. How awesome would that be?
SPEAKER_00:Oh my goodness. I love it.
SPEAKER_01:Mirth Girl and Mitch, back of the songbook.
SPEAKER_00:Wow. And have it standing next to me.
SPEAKER_01:Too good. I know you're talking about Smurf Girl during the meeting. Just keep worshipping at the shrine of Smurf Girl, Mitch. Just keep worshipping at that shrine. You know, that's a term, you know. Worshipping at the shrine of Smurf Girl is when brothers would go into the bathroom and jerk off when I was at the meeting. That's totally, I'm not kidding. It was like, oh, they're in the bathroom for 20 minutes. They're worshipping at the shrine of Smurf Girl. They made a deposit. Make a deposit real quick. You know that was a term. Yes. And then that was when we started to install toilet seat covers at the Kingdom Hall. Remember when toilet seat covers were new? I swear to God, toilet seat covers were invented because of all the brothers worshipping at the Shrine of Smurf Girl and the sisters didn't want to accidentally get something. That was the joke. Toilet seat covers... were invented because the Jehovah's Witness brothers spent too much time in the bathroom at the game hall.
SPEAKER_00:Swear
SPEAKER_01:to you. I mean, that's like the joke. That's the urban legend.
SPEAKER_00:Of
SPEAKER_01:toilet seat covers. I swear to you. But anyway. All right. Well, let's wrap it up. Wrap it up, Mitch.
SPEAKER_00:Hey, I hope y'all enjoyed this. I was surprised by some things as much as you all were. So I hope you enjoyed it. You asked for more Smurf Girl and I delivered. I gave you more Smurf Girl and we had a bonus. We had Uncle Tony and Smurf Girl. So I hope y'all enjoyed the episode. Look, either of us, she did it. She even did it this afternoon and found us It talked about the show. It talked about us. So look us up. We're on social media everywhere. We have this channel. Help us. Help us make this channel grow. Like, share the videos. Subscribe. We thank all of you all. And thank you, Smurf Girl.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. Thank you, Uncle Tony, for such great entertainment, too. It was my pleasure, Peanut.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks,
SPEAKER_01:Mitch, for having me on.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, any time, Unc. Yeah, I'm going to go take these wrist kicks, and we will catch you all on Tuesday.
SPEAKER_01:Yep, love you guys. Thanks for tuning in.
SPEAKER_00:Love you. Have a great weekend. Talk to you soon.
SPEAKER_01:Bye. Love you.
SPEAKER_00:Love you.