Why, Drew? The Friends Who Knew- Part 1

When addiction takes someone you love the questions never stop. I'm talking to my brother's friends to piece together a picture of the road he went down. What started as a search for answers became something I didn't expect: my own grief finally surfacing after years of silence and anger. Today, I'm talking with Greg Troutman, one of his closest friends. Thanks for going on this jouney with me!

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 1:53

Drew and all of them, they were all older than me. I got in with the with the older crowd. She were younger. Yeah, Drew was all yeah, so the when when we were in high school, when I met Drew, um like I kind of ran with a with a different crowd and we all like merged together. I was the younger one out of everybody. And that's why I got, you know, the name and everybody called me Little Greg. Well, no, uh no, that because that nobody at school knew knew that my dad's name was Greg. Plus I'm a tiny dude. Uh I've always been kind of built like a crackhead. But I work in recovery. Well, I work for an admissions department, like, and we we operate like multiple facilities, but yeah, that's listen, the alcohol led me to back to the same old shit more than anything, you know what I mean? And it would always start with that. Yeah. It would always and you know, I say I tell people like alcoholism or my my alcoholism was cured by like opioids, you know, and then but it always started and ended with like a with a drink, as cliche as that sounds. No I've heard that from so many. Yeah, I would end up drinking and then you know, next thing you know, somebody's offered me cocaine or something, and you know, me and your and your brother and everybody that we ran with, we were the types we like everything.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

I'm like, oh my god, are you fucking trying to kill yourself?

unknown 3:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

I used to ask him all the time. I'm like, dude, you can't just have a cocktail of different fucking drugs all the time.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

I don't think we ever thought it all the way through like that.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

No, just like, let's do it, let's try it. That was him.

SPEAKER_03 3:37

Yeah. And like just a little background of it, like some Drew was like one of my best friends growing up, and uh Yeah, we uh uh you know, we had a mutual like the way our whole friend group operated is it's like obviously we all like the same music. We all were kind of rebel the rebel types. Mm-hmm. You all played music. We played music and like the the music hand in hand goes with the with the party, and you know what I mean? And and we love jamming, love music. We all love getting together. Like we had such a tight little group and uh there was a whole shitload of us, you know what I mean? Like a whole bunch of us. And some good kids. Yeah, we really all raised pretty good. Yeah. It fucked up. We've given pretty much, you know, anything that we we needed for the most part, and uh you know, uh turned into we put the music on the back burner, we you know, and and the the drugs partied like rock stars before we even got good at music. Uh but don't get me wrong, your brother was absolutely talented, and uh the reason me and him mesh so well together is because he had kind of a mutual like everybody at the time was you know, musically was trying to do like kind of the same old, you know, like Stone Temple Pilot covers, tool tool covers and stuff like the Radiance Machine and all that's cool. Like, don't mean wrong, I love all three of those, but like I mean I always wanted to do something like I I I made weird, weird shit, weird lyrics and so did he. Yeah, and he no, and honestly, he embraced like you know, he was one of the first. I mean, there's a there's a couple of them that that you know created like what I enjoyed doing musically that helped me do that. But Drew was one that he always understood where I you know we were just on the same wavelength. You know what I mean? And he anything I would present to him, he would love it, and he and he could he could take it, and we bounce ideas back off each other and we come up with something just ridiculous, but we loved it, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

I do. I've so many times thank God, what if he was still here with me mark me working in radio and I meet so many people, I could have helped you all. Yeah. Dumbass.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

He'd be he'd be doing something j who knows, you know, and that's the that's the sad part about it, is like a lot of a lot of the people that we grew up with.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Oh, it's so sad.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Some of the more, you know, had more potential than a lot of people, especially creatively.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:02

And uh, you know, you just it's some people don't win the fight against the demons, uh as cliche as that sounds.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Uh but you know so many creatives have those demons. I think those demons feed creativity sometimes. Look at so many artists that you look at as musicians.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

The best artists are are psychopaths. Fuck yeah. The best of them are, you know, come from long lines of mental illness and you know, just the way it goes. No, that's how they write their music. They have stories. You know, just because I got to witness like the full transition of like, you know, going from us, you know, piddling around with different substances drinking, and just, you know, the high school parties, you know, Chase's house, parties there, Curry's house, parties there, Brett's house. Can't can't blame anybody. No. I mean, it ultimately comes down to but but the the you know, the truth of the matter was is like we all made decisions to do what we were doing. We were never pressured by anybody to do what it was we wanted to do it, you know what I mean? And well used.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Oh, you were talking about watching the transition of him.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, and it started out like, you know, innocent us partying type stuff, and then it it just progressed. And I was trying to kind of recall if I like last night I was thinking about like when did it transition from us just getting, you know, drinking, smoking weed. Well, the way that it went was so, you know.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

He was usually pretty honest with me, not many other people, but he liked to t he'd like to tell me stuff for some reason.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

That's how I was my sister, too. My sister knew everything that I did for the most part. Uh, we trust our sisters, I guess. But yeah, I mean I I recall like we you know, we would get occasional. I mean, I snorted pills in high school. See, the sad thing was is I was a sophomore when they were all seniors. Well, they were making you bad, bad influence. Well, no, no, no, trust me, no. They weren't. I I was already I was already there. But I what was sad about it was they left. You know what I mean? Once they all graduated, uh like I was like, damn, it was like me and TC and yeah, because and yeah, just to give a background, like TC played the drums for the band. You know, I I was the shitty lead singer lyricist. Drew played the guitar, and then there was Ben Ben Odell that played the the bass, which is. Yeah, I forgot about him. They haven't thought about Ben in a while. I haven't either. I don't really I don't know. Oh yeah, so we were you know, snoring pills were kind of a common thing just in high school in general. But so then, you know, once we all graduated, that's when Drew got that house there behind the speedway off Fagan Burger. God with Aaron Landbauer, yeah. With Landbauer, yeah, and that was uh that was when things started escalating for lack of a better term there. Um yeah, and we partied there every single day. Uh-huh. And uh you're right, it started with the with the you know, snorting of the pills, um, you know, oxycotton was a big thing at that time. Yeah, that's what he said. Yeah, and what they ended up doing was this they reformulated those, and every any drug addict that listens to this podcast knows the the chain reaction here was that they reformulated those and then opaine it became a really big deal.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

And then they reformulated those and then heroin exploded.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

And it was cheaper.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

And it was cheaper, yep, and it was more available, and then you know, fit and all it exploded there. So that we partied at that party house. And honestly, the first time that I ever, you know, I IV, I was an IV user, as was your brother. Oh, I know. And uh the very first time I ever did it was with him. I was having him do it for me, and it was a I'll never I'll never forget this this day. I mean, I'm cool to talk about this.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

I know, I'm glad yeah, yeah. I want you to be open and honest. This it's called no filter, no boundaries.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

You're good. Yeah, so I mean, I was dating this this I'll never forget this, and I remember it so vividly, so vividly, it's weird. But this is the very first time I ever tried to inject drugs. And your brother did it for me. And uh I was dating a girl, and it wasn't he didn't pressure me or anything like that. Like, I mean, maybe a little bit of that, but also I wanted to, you know what I mean? It is what it is. Um when I was dating this girl at the time and she um we I this is something that all drug addicts know. Like I I believe I purposely started a fight with her to get her to leave. You know what I mean? Like that's how psychotic we get and how crazy we are. So you could do your drugs when she went there. Exactly. You know what I mean? And the Drew had made a run for us at the time, and we probably were paying like two hundred dollars for a pan of 40. Oh my. Which is insane. You know what I mean? And what the way it would work is we'd get a bunch of junkies together and then just attempt to you know you who's got money on that, you know what I mean? And then then somebody go get it, and then half the time somebody would take more than they're supposed to take, and then everybody's fighting over it. It was a disaster. Oh my god. Miserable miserable existence, to be honest with you. But anyway, we end up breaking everybody else off. Um, Drew comes over and he's like, Look, we got kind of boned, which I don't know if Drew took a little bit more. It didn't seem like it. I don't know, it doesn't matter at this point. But so he's like, you might as well just we might as well do it like this. And I'm like, Yeah, dude, let's do it. As we're as he's like getting it ready, and keep in mind no, like my the girlfriend that I at the time, she doesn't even really know exactly how deep I've gone. Like she knows I party, but she doesn't know how deep I've gone. And she had a kid and everything, like the whole situation was terrible. Um on my on my part, you know what I mean? Like I was a lunatic that did drugs around you know, people that I shouldn't have been. Yeah, it was yeah, and I keep in mind I'm like 19 at this time.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Oh my gosh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Um so she ends up she's blown up the phone and uh I'm like nah, she's fine, it is what it is. Next thing you know, she says, I'm in the driveway as he's preparing it all. And I'm like, oh no. And I'm like, it's cool, the garage is closed. But my stepfather, he kept his garage door opener in his truck at the time, and so she and I lived in my parents' basement at this time, just so she ends up opening the garage as he's doing it. I'm like, here, just do it real quick. And like, you know, if you're not used to IVing drugs, like it's not something that you should probably just do real quick, do r do real quick, you know. And so he ends up doing it and completely misses my vein entirely, blows my vein out the very first time.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Oh my god, what did it do?

SPEAKER_03 12:53

Uh I mean my arm was sore, swelled up a little bit, but it ended up being fine.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

Didn't get high, so I was sick, and then had to go out again. But and I say all this to say, like, that whole miserable story, like, and then I ended up continuing on I being drugs on and off for the next like ten years, you know what I mean? So you go through a ridiculous insanity um situation like that, and then you just keep doing it anyway. Like my arm was so sore, and I remember having to just pretend with the chick that showed up that everything was fine. Oh God. You know what I mean? Like it was a weird, weird, weird situation. Something I'll never forget. That's one of the darker moments of of of your brother. However, you know, there's a lot of good moments in there too. You know Drew was one of the best people that I know. Uh you know, he was one of them dudes everywhere you went, people liked him. I know that. I know. His funeral was huge. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

It was like all I mean, I never s it didn't stop. It was just people a a line all day.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah. It was like two days of visitation and then the funeral.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Oh my gosh. It was it was so long, it was hard. I was so mad at him though. So mad at him.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

I kind of was too, to be honest with you, but like at the same time was so and what's weird is like right when he passed away there, uh like that ended up being the worst year of my life. Um, twenty seventeen. And that was February.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:30

It's late February.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Yeah, he died on the twelfth. His birthday was the twenty first.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

Twenty twenty-first, that's right. Yeah. The twelfth. 'Cause I for I always get get the dates either backwards.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Oh me too. I have to sit and think.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

That previous so Christmas, so I was in rehab for Christmas and New Year's Eve of twenty sixteen.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

Uh which I d I mean that wasn't even the first time that I'd been in there. So you got out right before he died. So I got yeah, I did, and I and I kinda was I I was sober-ish during his funeral, and I say ish because I always had this prescrip prescription of gabapentance, and I mean I was abusing those as well. Like I I ne I don't think I ever really truly had a period of sobriety for real until like I actually got sober. But uh then that was in 2018. Wow. But so Drew's funeral, I I was trying to think of it last night. I almost feel like I use Drew's death as an excuse for me to just go off the chain. Wow. Like I really I I was thinking about that last night because I it it coincides with exactly whenever I and I do remember being pretty fucked up about it, which obviously, and and I know that obviously you and your old family were it's a different thing when you lose a fucking friend. It's uh it's a different level. And on top of it, I always felt kind of a level of guilt, to be honest with you, just specifically trying to cry here. Oh, I know. You know, because you know, he beating him a kind of drunk part, and that's just kind of what happens whenever people are like in the shit, like because we end up control, you know what I mean? And like Drew became a different person. I became a different person, like, and not a pleasant person, to be sure. Oh no. Um no, you know that.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

And uh even though we're all unpleasant in that, like you know, obviously we're like, well, I don't want to fuck with this motherfucker, because blah blah blah, and you know. But uh so we kind of grew apart, and I know he did that time there for a minute too. That was kind of part of it, is he he I mean he did like seven months at the end.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Yeah, that chick he was dating, they OD'd at oh my god, we were in bowling green when that happened. Yeah, it was at a red light. Yes, it's right. They owe they shot it up at Walmart and then left and passed out at the red light, and her baby was in the back seat.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

That's right, he got a one in danger.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

Ten months in LaRue County. That little shit. When he was in prison, he had of course, you know, everybody likes Drew. He was one of the people at the jail. They liked him so he got to go out and mow grass all day long at the ballpark in the school, and they would they'd take him and get him McDonald's for breakfast and Wendy's for lunch. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

SPEAKER_03 17:32

He's that dude, though.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

I know he goes to jail and he's still fucking spoiled.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

Yeah. Any, any, anywhere he went, he was able to, he just had that vibe of being able to, you know, relate to people and uh, you know, he just people liked him. People liked him everywhere everywhere that he went. He was he was truly a good dude. He was. He had the heart of gold. The biggest heart ever. He really truly did. And you know, and that just you know, drugs fuck that up, man. And it doesn't it's it's not who he was by any means. No, it's not who I was, but unfortunately, I mean when you get a crippling addiction, I mean, that's just where it takes you. Is it just everything it strips everything from you?

SPEAKER_02 18:17

Yes, that's all you want and all you all you need, basically.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:23

I mean he cut out family, stole everything from everybody. It was hard to trust him in your house. It's like, okay, Drew's here, where's your purse? Is it in the car? Did you leave it in the car? Did you lock the door? I mean, it's bad. Hated that.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Yeah, that that was uh yeah, that's all all of our big thing. I mean, you end up robbing your grandmother and all kinds of like to admit it by any means, but he sold so much shit for my mom and dad. Not even every one of us had a period of of that. We used to be felonious idiots. Oh yeah. But what back to what I was talking about though, is that so yeah, I mean, we kind of drifted apart, and I think really when he did that ten months, I mean that was kind of a big I mean, we were already kind of rocky just because we were both deep in it and I think developed resentments. Yeah. Kind of towards towards each other. Just off the back of wanting to get high is all it was. It's like the drugs became more important than family, became more important than friendship, it became more important than everything. Yeah. I mean, it's gross to think about, but that really is what it was. But I I developed a couple months that were out of sober-ish, as then I wasn't IVing drugs, I wasn't snorting anything. Sober-ish for Drew's funeral. So I remember it pretty well. And uh it was cool to see everybody, and it it seemed like that was the uh the start of a trend of like, okay, this is where I'm gonna reunite with everybody, yeah, is when one of us dies. And then that's kind of you know, chain domino effect of okay, that's where I see everybody is it's been a while, guys.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

We need to stay in touch, and here we are at another funeral.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Here we are again, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

And yeah, especially with y'all being so young. I mean, really, so many of your friends that I'm just like, oh my God.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

Yeah, yeah, it's uh like our whole class, our whole graduating class is like a lot of us are dead.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

So many. It's so sad.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Or in prison, so many like flashes of different scenarios pop up when when you talk about certain people. It's one of the hardest things to do, is like I mean, because it's almost like even with this like podcast, like you open up the words that you haven't gone down in forever, which I've accepted everything. My past is in the past, it is what it is. I know who I am now. But yeah, it's uh sometimes it's hard to to reach out to people even though you you you should just pick up the phone and ask people how they're doing.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Well, what do you think made you decide you wanted to quit? Did you have a something that happened?

SPEAKER_03 21:00

Jill and I just done it so many times, like and uh been arrested. I mean, you know what I mean? And you gotta understand, like I mean, I got a r I got arrested at thirteen years old for like handcuffs, you know, taking to the station, and then got arrested numerous times before I was seventeen.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Oh my god, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

Yeah, no, so and I mean that and that's something that lasted for twenty years, twenty plus years. Oh my goodness. And then twenty seventeen happened, and that's again Drew's funeral, and I hit uh what they call the fuck it button. I hate saying, you know, no program cliches.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

I've seen so many people do it when they lose a parent or a sibling, same thing.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

Yeah, and uh yeah, and so and I and it that's not the only reason. Like I don't want it to sound like that's that that was the only reason, but that I do recall that, you know, kind of playing a role, and then I just went on a whole absolute nightmarish year in twenty seventeen, and I was trafficking drugs. Drugs real heavy and just being a psychopath and and and I honestly got on methamphetamine at the time. I actually didn't get back on heroin twenty seventeen.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Drew was doing both.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody ended up doing both. Anyway, you know, whatever whatever makes us not feel like ourselves, basically, is the whole is the whole goal. So I went on the whole rampage. Uh, you know, I could get into specifics, but just trust me when I say it was toxic, and it got to the point where I was getting arrested every other week. And um the the last final straw, and again, no, I honestly wasn't even the last because I ended up getting out of jail and getting high again. But uh the cops busted up in in this house that I was staying in with you know, a girl that also knew Drew. Um and uh Yeah, found all my stuff, took me to jail, stayed there for a while, got out, lost everything. I burnt like I had a car, I had an apartment, I had a girlfriend, had a you know, family that was worried about me, but was still somewhat you know, whatever. And they still were when I got out, but burnt all that to the ground, had none of that when I got out of jail, nothing. Nothing at all. I had I had a bunch of money too, lost all that. Um which you know the drug addicts don't typically hang on to money, but I did actually have a decent amount before I I went to jail and then um got out and just didn't have anything and was back at my dad's house. And uh I still continued to try to make things work, one with the girl and then one with um the kind of drug life. And uh I just remember I'd gotten into a fight with this girl one day on my dad's back porch. I'm like 20, probably 28 years old at this time. And still doing the same shit with I I'm at my dad's house, and she ends up, we get we get in a fight, she leaves, and I just sit out back and I'm like, what am I doing with myself, man? And I'm facing felony charges, multiple felony charges. And uh I remember calling my mom who my mom loves her to death, she's the main person. And that's the thing is our moms always stand beside us, you know what I mean? Like and and she had my back through all of it, and uh, you know, I treated her like shit terribly. Um this was uh, you know, a nightmare, and and all she ever wanted was for me to be okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

I know.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

And but I do remember that I'll never forget that call because I called her up and I was like she'd been trying to get me to the healing place for f eight plus years.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Man.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

I was like, Mom, fuck it. And I remember being a dick about it too. I was mad. I was like, fuck it, just take me to the healing place, you know what I mean, like a child. And uh and I don't remember if it was that next day or yeah, I believe it was probably the next day. Yeah, she comes, picks me up, and I think I tried to get out of it again last second, and then was like, all right, no, fuck it, let's do it. And so she took me there and they were full, couldn't even get in. Oh my god. I I had done, and if anybody's listening that uh is familiar with Louisville Recovery, all of them's been in JDAC, so uh they know about JDAC. I went to JDAC, had been there t eight plus times probably before, and uh but it was court ordered before, probably. Yeah, well honestly, this time was kind of court ordered too, now that I think about it. Oh kind of. It was that a choice. Well, I I was having all of those my felonies were I was still in pretrial uh era, and I was supposed to be attending an IOP which I had given up on. And uh benefits of outpatient program, um where you know go to classes or whatever. Oh, gotcha. And the therapist there, uh Kevin Schmidt, he's a big name in recovery and dude. Love him. He he probably doesn't even realize, but he's like kind of a intro me in introducing me to sobriety was a a stepping stone to me getting where I'm at now. He basically I and I again I'm probably getting this all wrong, but I I vaguely remember it being like if you don't go soon, or like within the next couple days, we're writing a letter to the judge stating that you're absconding, basically. So that was motivating too. Like, you know what I mean? Like all all of it was mo but I was tired and exhausted and over it. But I did go to JDAC and I got high the whole time I was in there. Somebody snuck meth in.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Oh my god, Drew did that when he was in jail. He was high every day.

SPEAKER_03 26:46

Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, when it's presented to you and you're fresh and a vulnerable, you know. That's crazy. Yeah, I I did it the whole time. But so that's why I'd say like my sobriety date is kind of confusing. I'm pretty sure it was May 24th of 2018. But uh, it could be 23rd, because I don't remember. I counted the day that I got to the healing place. And so um, yeah, once I got to the healing place, I have been sober ever since.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

And that's where Drew went a couple of times.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

Yeah, I know that I know a lot of people that know Drew. Oh and they again all talk very highly of them. I was talking to a guy last night as you were texting me that went through with him back in, I want to say, 2013.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Oh my lord. Yeah, yeah. That's right when we were in Bowling Green, and then when he got out, he came, he moved down there with us.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

Yeah, truth is is we're gonna do what we're gonna do no matter what. Yeah. I mean, you can cast a stone at whoever you want, but at the end of the day, like we have the sickness, and you know, most of the time it doesn't matter who's in the way, we're gonna do what we do. The hardest thing, and the hardest part of my job, because I'm on the like kind of front end of like getting people into treatment. The hardest part is is like talking to family members and uh I mean, because a lot of them just don't really have a an idea of what needs to be done. And and what what needs to be done is you gotta have that boundary and you gotta be kind of what it's presented as you being an asshole.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

But you're trying to help them by not supporting the habit.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Exactly. And you have to you and the best thing that my mother ever did for me was that she said, You are not, I'm not bellying you out of jail, I'm not um you're not coming back here. You know what I mean? On the streets, go do whatever the she's like, I just can't do it anymore.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

That's what mom and dad did to them, and they felt so, so guilty. They still do, they still do.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Well, and that's such a tough scenario, man, because like that is a risk that you take with it, is like, but at the same time, like it is also inevitable that if you don't, they're gonna keep doing it and it's gonna happen anyway. And it's so I I hate that for your parents, and I hate that for all parents. I do too, and so many you know, whenever I'm talking to families and like I say that, I do think in the back of my head, like, you know, and I'm not qualified to I mean, in a sense, I'm qualified as in I've been on both sides of it at this point, but like obviously I'm not a a licensed therapist or anything. Um then I but I tell them that too. But at this, I'm like you've been through it. Yeah, I and I got yeah, I have the experience, but I also I'm afraid of like me saying, look, set this boundary, and then the person and then they do it, they leave, and then they go and but you know what I mean. It's also you it's the only way, it's the only motive the way that an addict is motivated to get sober is to not be comfortable anymore. You gotta you gotta you cannot allow them to be comfortable because they're gonna keep doing the same thing. Yeah. But I do I am afraid of that, that I'm gonna give that advice, and then that happens. It's something that crosses my mind at my job regularly.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

How long have you been there now?

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Uh I worked I honestly worked at the healing place.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Oh, I forgot about that. You did work there.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

Yeah, I worked there for a long time through coronavirus and everything.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Oh my God, really?

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Yeah, was doing health services uh stressful time there. And uh in charge of both campuses, like making sure we're keeping up with all the COVID protocols. I mean, I was only like second in command, I wasn't like the head in charge of it, but so it was a lot a lot of work. Like I worked all I I've never had a day off because of that uh the whole pandemic thing.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Same radio, we we were like uh we had to work all the fucking time. I'm like, nobody wants to fucking buy commercials. Come on now, leave me alone. Right. I had a heart attack in 2021. And I say it was totally because of COVID. All the stress of COVID. I smoked so many fucking cigarettes. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

I don't think I knew that. Are you are you doing all right now?

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Oh, I'm great. I haven't had a cigarette since then. Yeah, I had a massive heart attack.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

Maybe I did hear that from my my mother probably had told me that. I'm glad you're doing good.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Yeah, I love I mean it's really I I feel great now now because I don't smoke anymore. I can I don't get winded, I can fucking run. I mean, I don't run. I don't choose to run. Like I could if I had to. Right, exactly. Yeah, I do yoga and I don't die.

SPEAKER_03 31:37

I mean, it's yeah, that's no, that's that's great, man. That and that's listen, that's a tough thing. Look, I uh smoke cigarettes, I want to say four years into like I I I that's that was the hardest thing for me to quit. Fuck yeah. Even sober, I was still I smoked for about four years into my sobriety, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Oh my god, yeah. That would be way too hard to quit doing everything at once.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

Yeah, but I mean, and I still don't don't uh don't get me wrong, I use the a vape as I'm still addicted to nicotine. That's one thing that I just cannot, I haven't been able to kick. I quit for two months once and then just out of nowhere and picked it back up. It's tough. Yeah, so I went I worked at the Hill and Place for two years, and then I've been uh with this program ever since. And that's been about five, five, five, six years at this point. Bandit was a G.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

Oh my god. What was it? MySpace that he fucking had.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Yeah, he had his own his own MySpace, particularly his own Facebook. I I I don't really recall, but I will say this that dog was a rider, and he went through all the bullshit with us, too, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

That dog He was probably like, Oh my god, are y'all okay? Are y'all dead? Are you okay?

SPEAKER_03 32:50

Dude, he he rode with uh listen, he he was at that party house through everything, like cops busting up in there, us and and the the party house, like I mean, we had l loud music playing, like we had the drums, the PS. I've been there. You remember, yeah, you remember we had all the stuff set up and we did that every single night for I don't remember how long exactly it was, but a long time.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

He lived at that speedway too. I think he ate all of his meals there.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

We all did, yeah, chili chili dogs, the chili and cheese, free chili and cheese. That's so funny. And that that's honestly a memory with Bandit too, is that I remember going over there one day, and then I even remember Drew saying this too. It's funny because uh I got went over there and I got a chili cheese dog and I accidentally left it uh like we I got into talking or something and sat it down and I looked at and bandit had eaten all the chili and cheese.

SPEAKER_02 33:48

Gross didn't need the hot dog.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Uh well I remember I remember Drew being like, well, man, at least he left you he left you the hot dog. I'm like, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure I ate it. I'm sure I still ate it.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Gross, the dog was like, that's the nastiest fucking hot dog ever. I'm not eating that thing.

SPEAKER_03 34:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

That's that's bad. If a dog won't eat a hot dog, you know there's something wrong. He was such a cool damn dog, though, because he only had one front leg at that point.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

Yeah. Or tripod. Yeah, he had the old three legs, and I'm telling you, he got a head. Yeah, no, that that dog was the sweetest, man. And and you gotta understand that that party house, we had I mean, it was essentially what could be qualified as like a trap house. Oh my god. Like if you if you know what that term means. Like it didn't matter. Like there was just people that would show up there. And honestly, I kind of feel bad for Aaron Lambauer because Aaron Lambauer was a dude that like had his life like life together for the moment. Had a real job. And he was a good kid, you know what I mean? He's a good kid, good dude, and like and and don't get me wrong, he partied, you know what I mean? He knew how to get down. Like, don't get me wrong. But like he was also trying to be responsible, I think more so than than Drew and like the rest of us. And like half of us didn't actually live there. And then he had a baby, so he had to be responsible. Yeah, he ended up moving out, I think, before that, right? Or am I making that up?

SPEAKER_02 35:20

No, because Carissa, no, Carissa was still over there a lot when they had the baby.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

Okay, yeah, I do remember her being pregnant. That's right. I think I forgot about that. And she was always talking about Drew was Okay, yeah, there was an actual whole baby over there doing all that. Yeah. So we we might have toned down kinda at that point. I I it's hard to really doubt it. Yeah, we're just probably a little quieter. I don't I don't really remember exactly. It's it's so foggy, but uh yeah, um, but yeah, Lambauer, I felt bad about that because he was like trying to like be cool, and then he had us like I remember one night, you know, he had to work. Yeah, he was a superstar. Yeah, he had to like drive pretty far for for work and shit. And you know, we he we'd end up coming over doing our things. Next thing you know, we're throwing knives at the cabinets.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

Yeah, and he'd be gone for like three or four days and come back and be like, what the f So just the the fucking like the bomb went off.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Poor kids.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

And I mean there would be people that would show up that we none of us knew.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Yeah, that's how Drew's fucking uh not iPad, what was it called? The Apple, his laptop.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

So much got stolen.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

That's how it got stolen.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

Yeah, I was there that night, and so this was the P PlayStation 3 area. Yeah, I believe that they're on five now. Yeah, it all got stolen. It and Lambauer had just gotten that. And and I just remember, and what's crazy about it is like just it was so weird that it was that was just a notorious spot that like the that whole side of town knew like, okay, these dudes are always getting fucked up. We can go, we're gonna get fucked up, and like that's a trip. And we'd welcome them with open arms most of the time. Oh, yeah, the hippies. And there'd be so many times that there'd be fights, and we got in so many fights there's one night we all got our asses beat. Poor bandits. Literally every yeah, exactly. Yeah, that that's the point I was getting at was the dog went through so much shit with us, man. Um, and I'm sure, you know, whoever you end up speaking with, um, you know, Brad and whoever, like they'll be able to tell you a lot more details to specific that I mean because Brett Brett was there through all that too. Oh I know. Cathy.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Oh goodness. I'm just glad y'all are still around.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

Yeah, yeah, I really and I don't know why, you know what I mean? I don't know. We have a purpose. And you're doing uh obviously you're doing good stuff, and I I suppose I don't really ever self-reflect as much as I probably should. I hope I uh you know painted a picture of did everything good there.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

You did great. You did great. You didn't cry either. Neither did I.

SPEAKER_03 37:59

I almost did. There was a couple times I almost did, but yeah, I held it back.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

We talked about funny memories instead, because that's what Drew would do. He would make us laugh.

SPEAKER_03 38:10

I'm glad that we that we did this. Me too. Cool, cool going down the the memory lane. Lou Lou is the best. He is.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Your mom is too, don't be wrong. He would love it if you came over. Oh my god, it would love it. He would love that.

SPEAKER_03 38:28

Like, you know, that we and I'm probably I'm sure I'm speaking for a lot of us that we love them and you know, appreciate every because they always had our back, you know, and your dad always had our back artistically and like uh supported us and you know allowed us to come over there and play annoyingly loud music at y'all's house or at their house and do wild shit in their backyard. And you know, I I just uh really appreciate them always being there for us and and same to you, and you've always been really cool and had all our backs and y'all went over to my bakery and ate all my food when I went there. Yeah, probably to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

I mean they're like, where'd all the fucking brownies go? Drew must have been here. Yeah. I didn't care. I really didn't care. I loved you all, still do.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Those were some of the some of the best times in the I felt for a long time I felt so bad.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

I felt guilty because when I closed the bakery, Drew got as depressed as I did, I think. I really I mean it was like fuck, really. And that's when he really went off the deep end.

SPEAKER_03 39:38

We were probably on our way there no matter what, but yeah, there's certain things that contribute. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Well, I'm glad you're still here, my dear. And I hope to see you very soon.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

And I appreciate you letting me being a part of this.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

No, I'm so glad you did.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

I don't think I just said anything too quite so much. I just remained.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

No, you didn't have any anybody's names or anything like that.