Love Languages And Real Respect

Love sounds simple until you realize two people can want the same relationship and still feel totally unseen. We sit down and get real about love languages, why “communication” means different things to different people, and how physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and gifts can either build connection or create constant frustration.

We also go straight at one of the biggest relationship debates: do men need respect more than love, and do women believe love should automatically bring respect? From trust and loyalty to the scars left by cheating, we talk through what happens when someone gives their all and still gets played, and how that experience raises your standards, changes your boundaries, and makes you move differently the next time.

Then we zoom out to modern dating advice you can actually use: red flags around partying, entitlement, and always having a hand out, plus the hard truth about preferences, friend-zoning “good” partners, and choosing what looks right instead of what’s healthy. We even get into the uncomfortable area of transactional dating, where gifts and favors create unspoken expectations around sex and intimacy, and why clarity beats assumptions every time.

If this conversation hits home, subscribe to Bap Talk Podcast, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review. What’s the one thing you need most to feel loved?

Transcript

Cold Open Rap And Welcome

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Oh no stop, no stop Key going, keep going Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah I may easy boost moves in my rebox And ain't gonna never stop Tryna run a beat and up until my ankle Yeah You get bitch and have out of that you never stop we came up to sleep on the next I just wanna see my dumb leg I think I'm gonna make this like I just like the double bit I can see the thing is cause the nigga big I can see the worry for the nigga been I think but I've been better but it's I ran all my money on the gravel I've been just a word on master I got something that matters to me I'm living my second life is amazing I done it would have put it in one crazy I done make a man I done came up on the cut on my crack caddy say niggas play with the double they niggas hated how these bitches fuck with no rubbles and shit bricks I sit down the view bro these niggas lick the gig my step off as a cylinder I can't be taken out the came from sleepin' no float ways I've been taking other niggas holds in our race or a bitch nigga call with a bitch working on my way to fucking with my ego but I never lost a day fuck the pop start after I got my thread braided never dropped a name but I hit game today put a percent of my things I took them right out the bag you can feel the pain when I'm rapping cause I'm rage see my what's up everybody off the backpop podcast I've been with you know we smoke chill and talk and we get it in racing episode today we're on top of our brain might be about food might be about relationships might be about sex it might be about politics drama it don't make a difference we cover all assets of life being patient so one thing I want y'all to do sit back relax IBM roll y'all a blunt or backboard and chill once again this Bap Talk podcast you know we smoke chill and talk once again I got my special guest online Camille and me I'm gonna do a lot of uh uh podcasting together and I want to appreciate I want to show appreciation to everybody that has been a subscribing liking and sharing my live and also I will be doing videos later on this month stay tuned okay Camille Well up not the same old thing just trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents that's all this podcast that's all I do what's up with you nothing chilling I can't tell another good Friday it is it is and it said it's gonna snow today it's not even snowing that's crazy see that don't make no sense and you you waiting for it to come too honesty I'm waiting for it to leave but see what but see you know like where I live at you never know what's gonna happen it might snow one day might be sun the next day and it might rain and snow the next day the following day and that's crazy I don't I'm gonna let you feel better in Atlanta right now it's probably 65 almost 70 it's gonna be 77 tomorrow but by Monday Tuesday it's supposed to get like in the 50s and 60s if that makes you feel nice weekend beautiful amazing you know something I got clothes I bought over the wintertime you know like for the spring and I can't bring them out yet I bought all these shoes and all this stuff here and I can't wear it yet you know that's right and tip to and look cute it's coming it's coming just get about two months it's coming you'll get a chance to wear it true true true come on what you feel today bro what you feeling today I got a question for you go ahead what what what's your love language my love language and you know it's like five different love languages okay now right okay now kind of describe them for me then maybe I can give an answer to each one of them my love language is I mean everybody love language is on like different you know my love language is um communication my love language is oh yeah really I don't know what I'm saying I mean we don't call it a love language up here you know what I'm saying and I've been looking into that i'm gonna give you i'm I'm gonna give you the five right you just tell me at the five which one is yours okay rate of affections receiving gifts quality time acts of service physical touch okay so those are the five raise of affirmation receiving gifts quality time acts of service physical touch well all of all of them is all of them is actually love language real friend I'm saying it is all of them is actually love language like out of the five which one would be jerk be your top which one out of five would be a top physical touch I say pistol touch physical touch okay yeah especially if right we are both in the same let's say like if both of them let's say if both of us are in the same proximity you know and then both of us are off on the same communication level so that should be to me like the next level because a person like that would be there most definitely mentally and spiritually so the next thing is the physical part okay okay I think man would be words of affirmation I think would be my love language.

Love Versus Respect In Relationships

SPEAKER_03 6:37

Like you gotta I you gotta tell me I gotta feel it or whatever and I've learned that that's how women and men differ. For a long time I guess women a lot of women feel like if we give y'all the love that we're looking for then you all will be on board and this relationship will be amazing right but I've learned some years back that that's not what men are looking for. Men are looking for respect women are looking for love and I was like all this time I've been trying to love a motherfucker and the whole time all I had to do was respect him and this relationship would have been amazing.

SPEAKER_06 7:25

See the thing is what is love though I've been asked questions I've been asked for like between love and trust I say I'd rather have somebody trust me than love me because a person that can love you can also say stab me in the back so right love is really ain't nothing that much to me.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

That's why men are looking for respect exactly because men feel like if you respect me everything else will fall in line the the the love the everything else comes behind that if you respect me but I think women feel like if you love me enough then everything else will fall if you love me you're gonna respect me. If he loves me he's gonna do this that and the other and it's so different for men like you all want respect and once you earn that respect from a woman then everything else will be on point everything. I mean honestly I wouldn't say that you know I mean I mean that's what that's for different people okay so what would you feel you want to be loved or you want to be respected no I don't that love to me I don't mind if I take that back you're right because I said trust but um by respect yeah you know okay so you you prefer respect over love yes well I wish I'd known that shit 20 years ago that's right been over here loving and and and kisses and all kind of affirmations and the whole time all I had to do was show this dude I respect him and the relationship would have been amazing okay so right and y'all looking for respect instead of giving women the love that they're looking for like the whole time because you all start processes if I respect her right not act up in public call her name or whatever then we'll be good and that's not really what a female is looking for. A female is looking for you to love on her I think that's what me and kind of miss the mark at but see why do female look for love before respect because if you love me you won't you won't disrespect me if you love me.

SPEAKER_06 9:57

Says who right says who says women us and then okay so so my question is do you think that's the right way about going about love though because I just said that a person can love you and disrespect you at the same time they still can have love for you and still go out there cheat on you.

A Cheating Story And Trust Lessons

SPEAKER_03 10:14

They still can love you and still do the proper thing so that is disrespectful but not from not from a woman's perspective though how can you say that from a woman's because from a woman's perspective the majority is looking for you to love her if you're loving me correctly right and in in a woman's again we're talking about women okay if you're loving me correctly you're not gonna disrespect me because you love me how could you go and mistreat okay so you have to put in the aspect like your mom right you love your mom yeah you love your sister you love your aunt right yeah you're not gonna disrespect your mom why because you love her but see you're gonna respect her you're not gonna talk crazy in front of her you're not gonna put your hands on her you're not gonna do any of that why because you love your mom okay same with your sister and your aunt okay I understand that and I told you a couple of days I said a couple of weeks ago but at the same time though it's a lot of men that don't think like that it's a lot of men that don't act like that because again if from a man's perspective right you are looking for respect so if I respect this woman then I'm not gonna do this that and the other you know I mean like I I respect her enough not to call her out her name I respect her enough not to do this that and the other right women not looking at that like that we're respect the men how right like most women don't call men bitches right most women are not gonna go and just haul off and smack the fuck at you like that's not what women do men on the other hand that's some men's characteristics they will haul off and smack the fuck at you they will rough you up call you out your name all kind of bitches hoes you might all that that's from that's what men do we most women don't do that we just coming from a love aspect of it so we feel like what is what is respect what is what is really respect in a man of course if I love him I'm not gonna disrespect him I don't know about that honestly I really don't know about that because okay I'll use me for instance I was crazy about this I loved her I gave her everything up for you know and I also respected her I didn't do me I didn't went out there cheating or none of that there but she cheated on me you know what I'm saying because right I was giving her everything that she asked for I mean I was paying the bills I was watching the kids I moved in with her the whole nine yards and I told you this story before I'm outside under the buildings before you know what I'm saying with all the guys she walked past a blank my thought of mule you know what I'm saying and then he hollered out what's up incognito and and I'm I'm a little tipsy right you know what I'm saying and I'm drinking Ian J I'm drinking Ian J then so I look at him like he's crazy. What the airkin jerk yeah so so right honestly I ain't thinking of it okay I I had to feel something's going on you know what I'm saying but at the same time though you know I let it slide a lot of people know about this besides me so one day I'm off work right and phone rang and I miss I'm taking a shower so then after that I wind up checking in no no I was checking a voicemail that wouldn't ever land line why this nigga on the phone tell my baby are you coming over to hang out with us tonight I know the voice I'm like no this nigga can't be so so me back so right me being who I am right I wind up you know what I'm saying she slide over there I wind up going over there rolled past in the car she ain't even come in come in honestly so hey so that's why I say they can give I'm something like you can love a person to the fullest she didn't love you but prior to that did you feel like she loved you though I mean yes you said that a hundred percent you this came out of left field with her talking to McDonald or whatever the fuck is that yeah yes yes yes yes yeah and then you know because it's like I would I gave up everything and then she noticed that you know and then we it's just like we it was a vibe it was a bond you know what I'm saying and it took me to learn to see there's a lot of people hating on this I mean there's a lot of buddies that were hating on me I'm talking about they looking all across the I'm talking about you know how the project buildings is in Chicago you know you can see from one side I'm I mean it's like you can see from one building way down to the next one.

SPEAKER_06 15:10

So they thought it's in girl and she ran with it. So I guess she didn't love me but she said she did. If you believe your friend over me I'm the one that's paying your bills I'm the one making it easy on you you know so it did happen like that like for real and then I don't understand that though.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

And you was I know you was 10 toes down man but you really felt that she was 10 toes down equally to you like nothing prior to that gave you a red flag like nothing.

Three Ps And Setting Standards

SPEAKER_06 15:41

I wonder if this shit really nothing I must have been blind to the fact I swear to god I must have been blind I must have been blind to the fact good she had some good sound yeah yeah yeah I ain't mean lots it had to be good because now hey I ain't gonna lie to trick me at all no more they can't trick me at all hey hey they can't trick hey look I swear to god they can trick me at all I mean I look hey I don't now you know I don't drink beer my buddy they so bogus they laughing at me but at the same time they whip me man they trying to give me get out my little uh I was depressed so right my people they buy me all type they buy me case of beers I don't even drink beer they drive pips of crown roar I'm talking big balls of crown roar now I'm looking up there like I'd have popped this nigga you know what I'm saying and I was on that you can't yeah but you can't because that nigga had no loyalty to you that was all on that shit real talk they caught me they stopped me from doing it I knocked on the door I knocked on the door knock not knock not my guy came and grabbed me no back don't be on that but tell this why was you gonna go after the guy what did you do to her she got away scot free but you finna knock the head off of the dude shoulders but see you know something though she see I don't believe in putting my hands on a woman not at all but see my sister will my sister and her crew correct she an SOS right they ain't finna beat her down you know what I'm saying so I mean I mean we had our arguments I'm saying look we had our arguments and and and after that uh it's like I wanted to but I couldn't if she was a dude you know what I'm saying I'd have did that and then and and then you know why I came at him because he knows me I know him you know what I'm saying and then we had that bomb but see but see I had to learn though hold on I had to learn don't blame the nigga you blame the girl he don't have no tie to you she do I had to learn that well hold on hold on that all depends now now if if a chick knows that I'm messing with this dude she know that we're in a full fledged relations relations relationship relationship with what was Will Smith's wife calling it entanglement oh wow you should have told uh uh that Augustine dude or whatever his name is whatever that is hey he made it look bad Chicago Chicago Augustine made us what's it alina augustine he made it look bad he had that woman on there talking about that boy like that but that it makes a difference because if you a friend a family member uh any sort and you know that me and this dude is in a relationship of whatever sort then yeah I I'ma I'm gonna put my hands on you and see if I don't know you and you don't know me and this dude was probably lying to you and lying to me all bets are off I ain't I don't have no beef with you boo no whatsoever but see he would like an Augustine right right he was like a difference in that in that point then yeah we're gonna have to rough him up a little bit yeah I mean I mean like I mean I mean we literally knew we know each other I know a little brother I mean we hung out come on I do I mean we might not be family and we might not be close guys like that you know like my 24 brothers are but dude we literally sit down got drunk kicked in all that I will never do that to you you know what I'm saying it's like you don't have no type of respect and then you don't know how bad I wanted to put my hands on her but I I I rap about my mom I don't have no pops you know what I'm saying and then I seen my mom uh uh uh uh I seen my mom get hit before honestly and then and then I and I try to knock that dude head off I'm not with all types of that you know what I'm saying I can never do that to a woman but I was so I was so so close to doing it you know what I'm saying because because Camille I put my all into it in the streets and on working and I cut my guys off you hear me I cut my guys off and I gave myself a curfew at two being being at two o'clock okay baby that's right don't let the sun catch you move don't let the sun so right so right I really felt stupid at this time and I'm losing weight depressed so so right you know I got a name for myself you know where I'm from on the low end I probably do have a name and it's like how in the how in the how in the hell I get like this here my godmama told me that thing and make you deuce hey hey what she tell you my godmama told me boy look you gotta go find some more pussy said what my godmama told me you better go find some more pussy Peggy Anison shout out to Peggy I love you to death Peggy thank you for putting me up on that I swear guy he probably ain't found no pussy to mess that way hey you know something hey I took it all the way around I did I really did you know what I'm saying I really did okay so do you believe in the the PPP's of a man that protect and provide and professing yeah and do you give that to every female you're in a relationship with or does that come with stipulations? No I f first of all for them get them hold on for them to get them three Ps we got a bit relationship we got the big relationship I cannot get on anybody that type of respect I mean I can get on any I can get on any female that type uh uh action you know what I'm saying I cannot because no it to me it's kind of hard for me to find a girl to be trustworthy like that again I mean I mean it's kinda hard for me to trust somebody like that again. That's why I made my standard is like so high. You know? And that's why I look at them all different But yeah no I mean I I mean like for real I mean I mean I'm not gonna joke with you.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

That I'm so the next female that you get in a relationship with I'm not gonna have her jump through all these hoops trying to prove that she's a hundred percent into you because of what this chick did.

SPEAKER_06 21:59

No

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Ten, fifteen years ago.

SPEAKER_06 22:01

No, that was man, man. Look, that was a long relationship I've been in. That was and that was three years, but at the same time, no, I was not. See, I still, like I said, I still try this time with her, I didn't court. We've been knowing each other for some years, honestly. And then we one day we went to a party, and then we got drunk, hung out, party, and then that happened at night. And then we was then we were together. Nowadays, like I said last time, I already caught a female. You know what I'm saying? Instead of going through that, because then I can find more out about her. Because if you because if you start doing that, I mean, if you're doing that with me, you probably been doing that. See what it was is I just jumped into a situation. You know, like real. So that's why I take my time with females.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

So what's your red flags? With a female.

SPEAKER_06 22:54

My red flag for a female. I hate to say this here, you know how I feel about the kitchen. But my red flag for a female is is right. If you, let's say, stubborn, I mean, I'm not to that bad not stubborn, but if you're in the streets, I mean, if you're on a party every weekend, you know what I'm saying? I I don't like that. Because I don't like to party every weekend. I'll go out. And then another thing is, you know, trust comes a long way. And then as far as love, you gotta earn a person love and trust, though. You know what I'm saying? Them two, you know what I'm saying, they gotta be earned, not given.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 23:32

And then uh another thing, I mean, I mean, I don't want nobody that's gonna have their hands out all the time. Them like a red flag. You can get out there and and and hustle to get what you need and want, you know what I'm saying? I'm not there to pacify you.

SPEAKER_03 23:48

I mean, but what's too much? What's what's too much? Every time she needs a pair of shoes, she's asking you, and every time she needs a nails done.

SPEAKER_06 23:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

Like, what's too much?

SPEAKER_06 23:57

Like I just said that. You can't have your hand out all the time. I mean, like, okay, now what were you doing before me? You know, you see, now you see me on this, um, and and now I'm speaking for my land, you know, where I'm at right now. Now, on this black dude got some going for myself. And then plus at the same time, y'all are intrigued by us black dudes. Also, now back to me, only black dude got some going for himself. I got a little swag and everything. Now, it's like they see, it's like they can see themselves with me. You feel what I'm saying? So at the same time, though, I gotta see myself with them. I gotta see what you're worth. You know, I don't want to be that person, I don't want to be that man that's just the just uh I y'all say, you know, I don't know the words for it, but if you ain't got nothing going for yourself, and then you ain't doing nothing, I make no money, you sitting there begging, you want me to pay all the bills. Oh no, that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

But wait, you didn't you didn't know all of this before you got into courting the the girl? No, like of course you knew that she didn't have a job, you knew that she didn't have any type of resource.

SPEAKER_05 25:06

Okay, right.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

If you knew that and you continue to to to court or date her, why do you why is it surprising that she's asking you for everything she's asking you for? Because you know she had a job before y'all start dating.

SPEAKER_06 25:22

Because no nine out of ten, they let me tell you, nowadays women so slick they will hide it. Now, okay, now I know girls to go job to job. That's true, fine and dandy. And then, and and then I know girls that work and quit just because. Now, if you now, if I know you to, it's like if I meet a girl and I know she was working, and then look, she's up and quit, no like do the something. That means go back to work. But if you're not trying to go back to work and then you always come to me like daddy or or bad, can I get this? Can I get that? I don't look at you, I'm like, are you for real? No, I'm saying I would look at you like you're crazy. Like, like girl, you better got them hustle. I'm I mean, I mean, money don't grow on the tree.

SPEAKER_03 26:02

Hey, wait, but you think you think she quit her job just to how you take care of her or something?

SPEAKER_06 26:07

Hey, a lot of women do that. A lot of women don't a lot of women don't have the heart and say, I don't want to work. Even with kids. A lot of women like to work, and I and I don't understand why it's that.

Red Flags Money And Independence

SPEAKER_03 26:24

A lot of women want to be pampered princess. Well, a lot of women don't deserve it. I understand that, but a lot of women don't deserve it. Listen, listen, here's the thing probably 99% of the that's probably high. Okay, let me just wheel it back. Majority, 50%, a lot of women don't want to work, G. Hey, no, we want to sit at home and take care of the kids and take care of the household. We work because we have to, not because we want to. We would love to have the luxury of having a man, husband, whatever you want to call him, to take care of that. Your grandma probably, grandma, great grandma, wow, probably didn't work. She sat at home, dinner was on the table when that man got home from work, the kids was taken care of, no time, the house tamed and in order, and all and that's what she had to do every day. And that man would come in and pay every bill in the house. Because that wasn't her business. But when that man came home, it was together. You can't find that nowadays. Me and won't all that that granddaddy had back in the day. But he didn't want to put in the work to do what granddaddy did.

SPEAKER_06 27:48

See, first of all, you're right about that. You're right about that. We do want that type of that type of things that you said. But I'm gonna say again, a lot of women don't do the things that you said. I done said a lot of women don't cook nowadays.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

Because we have to work, G. No, no, getting out there hustling justice, and y'all want the woman, and y'all put the the color in front of the woman, whatever. That's why we think that we have a feel like we have a voice because we're doing and matching just about what y'all are doing.

SPEAKER_06 28:24

Because y'all want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

No, nobody wants to go out there and work somebody's nine to five every day. The majority of us don't.

SPEAKER_06 28:34

So think.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

So uh we gonna work for nobody every day.

SPEAKER_06 28:38

So so what then? Here's my question. Well, then why is it that you have a man that's willing to be that good man to work, bring home everything, and y'all friends home? Because right, that'd be the man for you. You say, now you didn't say you want a man that works, so right, you can be at home, take care of the cook. I'm saying you say you want to be a home for you, take care of the kids, cook, clean, and do all them things. But then, like, when y'all see that man that comes towards y'all like that, y'all avoid them. Y'all always grab the ones that ain't good for y'all, and then once they show y'all something different, you feel me?

SPEAKER_03 29:17

And and and and first of all, I don't know why them women friend zone that dude that wanna do everything. I don't know. We might have to find a woman that does that to have on this podcast. They scared, but they're scared of that question, but but no, they're not. I'm I'm sure they'll tell you. But a lot of reasons, some of the reasons that the men gets friend zone is because he's just not her type. He can be an amazing guy, right? But it's something about him that's just not her type. Now, back in my 20s, I had a whole list of what my guy should be, right? Gotta have a car, he has to be tall, dark, handsome, all these bullshit. And you get the tall, dark, and handsome, and then he don't want to work. He ain't got no money. Like you pray for this particular type of dude, but then you get him, and then he's like abusive, jobless, he's lazy, he's all of this, and then you get older, and it's like, you know what? God, I'm just gonna take me out of the persuasion. You I mean, equation. Take me out of the equation, and I'm just gonna let you handle this. So bring me who you think is best for me, right? And he could be short, fat, got an amazing job, love to spend money, and that's when your vision starts to change. If you know what I just can't look at the outer beauty of somebody, and I have to start looking at the inner beauty of people.

SPEAKER_06 31:00

Well, I got something to say about that. Oh, we're gonna do it because no, I got a saying, God give you what you need and not what you want. Absolutely, a lot of women go after what they want instead of what they need, and they go out to that good man. You know what I'm saying? You need a good man, but you want this dude over here.

Preferences Friend Zone And Looks

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Believe me, because if they got what they good, um, I mean, if I feel like if a lot of women went after what they needed, a lot of women they'd be married, probably instead of just instead of just judging people, but again, wait, it's not even judging, it's you have no, you just told me, not just told me, but you told me prior to that you were not into big women, true. So this woman could be amazing to you. Wow, you love me could tell you you she's big, so you know she probably loves to eat, she probably knows how to cook good old southern whole meals. She could be everything that you desire, but the only thing that you're focused on is her outer appearance, and that's the same way with women. He could be an amazing man. I'm tall. I if you approach me and you really want to date me or court me, and you're 5'6, 5'7, initially, I'm not gonna be like, oh, okay, come on, let's go to date, let's hang out, because you you you're little, and I really can't, I really don't have a desire to date a little man, but he could be amazing, he could be ready to pay all my bills, put me in a big fancy house, but but the fact that he's short is gonna be a problem for me. So exactly I will friend zone him.

SPEAKER_05 32:56

Why?

SPEAKER_03 32:57

If because he's little, that's sad, that's sad, and it probably is, that's sad, but again, that's my preference. Everybody has a preference, so it's not like we're trying to friend zone all the good guys, it's just again, if we'll start a relationship, I want to be with you for the next 10, 20, 30 years. Something about you outside of you being financially able, right? It has to be something else there, and of course, for women, you know, little men, little feet, uh, you know the whole.

SPEAKER_06 33:32

Yeah, I know, I know, I know. So, so Camille, that hey, y'all feel you on that there, because I like me saying I'm that's not bigger than me. I totally understand. I I totally understand that.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

What though, I'm wondering it could be the best thing for you, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 33:47

I mean, I mean, yeah, and I thought about that too, just recently. But something about me that keeps saying, no, I can't do that. You know what I'm saying? Cause it's like I have a swag, I have a standard. So what if I do uh uh athlete and I can't go out and take a pick? You know what I'm saying? Like, come on now. I got a lot of guys right now that got these things. I mean, I mean, I can't go honestly, I'd be sending myself on a I'm in Hollywood somewhere, you know what I'm saying? And and I'm geared up. I'm I got the necklace on the whole nine yards. Now, somebody's basically a model next to me. They don't want to see no precious next to me, you know what I'm saying? So it's like, I mean, maybe that maybe that is it, and I'm wrong for that. Huh?

SPEAKER_03 34:31

You just looking for eye candy, yeah, and that's sad.

SPEAKER_06 34:34

You're right, and that's sad. RMPs. Yeah, because you know I I can see potential in some of the eye candy, but it's a it's a lot of eye candy that be tricking you, you know. They be having hidden agendas, you know what I'm saying? And I'm I'm not gonna put them out there like that, but yeah, I do. But them, but them big girls, no.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

I don't know, G. These big girls is I'm telling you, they popping. They they dress, the makeup be on fleek, hair be on fleek, they ain't got a choice, and they got that's not that's not fair, G. Everybody has choices, they have choices. Look, but a lot of them, um I mean, they they they got a glow on, they own it. I'm talking about got some type of wear that you can wear under your clothes to make you look slimmer. So you don't know she as big as she is until you get a home and take her clothes off. Oh no, you're right. With her clothes on, I'm talking about body as bodying. You can tell she's a big girl, but the it's proportionate and intact.

SPEAKER_06 35:39

Hey, you know some, and I and I and I hope she'll listen to my podcast. I'm not gonna name them name right. Well, I let this girl who I thought was decent, you know what I'm saying, slide through, you know? Slide straight. I told my buddy it's here. Why she gonna use the washroom and she came out, you know what I'm saying? Well, she did, she went to the washroom, she washed her hands, she's coming out, like like pulling up her pants and everything, and I getting dressed. Why is she the stomach? I'm like, Lord have mercy. I gotta go. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, man, you're right. They got stuff that would trick me. And then you know, and then you know what? I how do you feel about I hate when a woman wear a shot? To me, it's like you're trying to hide something. Like for real.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

Well, first of all, probably half the women you date is trying to hide something, maybe, possibly, especially if you're dating black black women wear weaves, no, braids, no, no, lashes, no, I'm makeup. Now, see a lot of women. I'm gonna put the other ones in here too. Let me uh add them to the category of women.

SPEAKER_06 36:53

See, see, to me, a lot of women, no saying, like out here, they're not ashamed. They're not ashamed, but it was just one that would, you know what I'm saying? And and it caught me off, it it kind of scared me.

SPEAKER_03 37:07

Ain't just one woman out there that that wear cover-ups. So you don't find a lot of people out there that wear um hair extensions?

SPEAKER_06 37:17

No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But see, they don't do like the black folks do it. You know, uh no, honestly, they didn't do it to make it look longer. Look, they make it look longer. I mean, I mean, like, now I respect all of them. Yeah, that's huh? Yeah, fuller and longer. But see, but see, but see, I know women out here that I know the women that wear it, and we cool. And I asked why you wear that. I want my hair to touch my ass. So, you know what I'm saying? I want longer hair. You know what I'm saying? Now you're right, some women they wear to to uh make their hair look taller, you know?

SPEAKER_03 37:52

But but you know that is black and white, correct? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay I never said it not. Okay. I just didn't want you to put one particular person in the box.

Shapewear Drama And Communication

SPEAKER_06 38:02

Oh no. No, see, one thing about me, if I criticize you, I'm I mean, I mean, I I don't hold I don't hold nothing. I'm not one, it's like I look at everybody the same. You know, I don't believe in that all that one is better than the other. Now on one side I do, I take that back. You know, I mean, I don't want no yes woman, and and then I want somebody that that can of the sentence the other day. I don't want nobody that's a yes woman. I mean, I mean like yes, this, yes, that. No. I mean, you can make me work for it, but at the same time, don't be too much. Because if you're being too much, I mean, whoa, I can cut you off. I'll fall back. For real, for real. Man, look. And and then they won't know what hit them. I don't believe in that. You know, like for real. They be like, man, where you on that? Hey, look, they said one thing I don't do is do the drama. At all. I don't do drama.

SPEAKER_03 39:03

I just think people that keep saying that they can't do the drama is the men that can't hold a distant conversation and communicate.

SPEAKER_06 39:10

No, no, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, like me, I say that because right, I can hold a conversation. It's just that you make it's just like you make something up out of nothing.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

You know what?

SPEAKER_06 39:23

I mean, honestly, it is. Honestly it is. Because it's just like I'm holding a decent conversation, but at the same time, though, you finding flaws in it and texting everything. I ain't putting up gas in your car. Are you for real? You didn't do this. Are you for real, girl? I mean, I mean, it there's something.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

You know, and and and okay, so when you went to put gas in the car and it was already half full, did you fill it up completely? I'm punching. But if you didn't write it then, it's filled up completely.

SPEAKER_06 39:55

If it was already half a tank, if you had to have a tank to others fill it up, that means that your speed hand, whatever it's called, your gas hand, ain't working right. What you mean? It means that it is it's not working right. I'm not gonna sit there and hold it. And matter of fact, I just put the money and I go put it on automatic. Well, what's the name? But I mean, don't blame me. You know, I mean, you're not riding an SUV, you ride a car. So my thing is it should be number 20 to put it from half to full.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

I don't think when a woman starts, I just really think when a woman starts nagging, so you all say, or complaining, is because she's trying to get you to realize something that you're doing or not doing. And instead of taking that time to have that conversation, you all just dismiss it as oh, she's angry, or she's combative. Okay, or she just wanna fuss. But you all dismiss it as if it doesn't mean something, and it means something if she's if she has an attitude a lot, it's it's something that you're you're not getting. So you're missing something.

SPEAKER_06 41:09

So so okay, so you have the keyword is if. But what if you are doing everything and you find anything to nag about? If you find anything to pick on, you know, I mean, like, if you I feel like this here, if all the I's ain't dotted and all the T's ain't crossed, you shouldn't say anything because I know what I'm doing. You know what I'm saying? If I'm gonna give you 110%, and then I'm not missing anything, that should be respected and understood. You know, just like if you gotta have a tank and I put 20 there, evidently it's passed. It's passed on like three-fourths. I don't want to hear that. I mean, just don't nickpick and nag about anything. Now, I don't mind having no discussion, and then if you're going through something and then look, you want my opinion and company and everything, I would be there for you. You know, and I sit there and listen and I and I and I understand it and I come and then I help you come up with a solution. But I don't want to, and then once I tell you something, and then I try and help you out, I don't want to keep on hearing the same thing over and over again.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

Because you got it from a lot of women or just a couple?

SPEAKER_06 42:18

You said I find them from a lot of women or just a couple. I feel like, honestly, I feel like um I really haven't found that at all up here. Because you know why, uh a lot of women, they it's like a lot of women, they don't want to have that. You know, and I said this, and I say this, well, I say this a lot. A lot of women don't want what's good for them. They want what's bad for them. They think it's good, hear me out. They think it's good, but the whole time it's bad. That goes back to the saying, good guys finish last. That go back to the saying, God gets what you need and not what you want. A lot of men and women want what they want instead of what they need. I'll let you hear me.

SPEAKER_03 43:07

I mean, but but but again, you won't know that it's what you need uh because that's at eyesight, like we were just talking about you with the the the heavy set girls, right? You're not gonna go over there and approach her because the outer appearance is what you noticed.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

You're right first. You're right, you're right about that.

SPEAKER_03 43:32

So it's a lot with women. We want we want a good guy, we do. So if we see this handsome dude sitting at the bar, right? Buying himself a drink. Of course, that is our initial attraction. He's a nice looking guy, okay, right? Laughing with his friends or whatever it is. So we think he's a cool guy until he's not a cool guy. But if this guy is over there, his shoes leaning to the side, he has a missing tooth in the front, clothes is dishuffled. Really, what woman you know is gonna approach that dude? He couldn't be a he could be an amazing dude that probably just got off work, right? It's probably why he's dishuffled. We're not gonna approach him, though. We really hoping he don't approach us.

SPEAKER_06 44:26

But see, but see, here's the thing though. But see, here's the thing though. Why do individuals do that? I say we need to get out of comfort zone. Like for real. We need to get out of comfort zone. Because no idea like me, I don't do big girls. You know what I'm saying? I don't feel comfortable doing that. I need to stop doing it. I mean, and I might need to try it one day. You know what I'm saying? Because that might be the person I need to be in my life. You know what I'm saying? My but she might be a person that will better my life. You feel what I'm saying? So it ain't what you do, it's how you do it.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

I just think people need to be more open to conversation. Like me and my bestie. We are different in a lot of ways. I'm more of the social butterfly, I guess. To where I I'll laugh and talk and joke with just about anybody. She's not that approachable, right? Right. So I'll probably have a better chance of finding Mr. Wright that doesn't seem like my type.

unknown 45:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:37

Because I'm gonna talk to everybody, I'm gonna socialize. She probably won't find that little needle in the haystack because she's not that approachable. But I just think we just need to if somebody speaks, speak back.

unknown 45:51

True. True.

SPEAKER_03 45:52

Somebody wanna buy you a drink, just accept it. Somebody wanna, you know, hey, let me have five minutes of of your time in conversation. Can change a lot.

SPEAKER_06 46:02

Right. And and you're definitely right about that.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

But let's see.

Break And Comfort Zone Reset

SPEAKER_06 46:07

Hey, that's why I say though, you're right about, I mean, I cannot, I cannot dispute that. Because I mean, I when I go out, my comments don't find the world. But at the same time, though, I gotta take a quick break. You know what I'm saying? And everybody tune in. Okay. Welcome back to Bap Talk Podcast. You know why I smoke, chill, and talk. You know why I had my good friend on the line with me, Camille. So yeah, Camille, now I'm sorry to interruption, but you know, something happened, so I had to go check on it. So we were just talking about getting out of comfort zones, and we always go for the bad thing and not the good thing. So was I right about that? Or either was I wrong?

SPEAKER_03 46:52

No, your opinion is your opinion. So right, wrong, and indifferent. That's how you feel. But yeah, we definitely gotta get out of comfort zone with things. But tell me this.

SPEAKER_04 47:02

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

Why do men feel like pussy's supposed to be free?

Should Sex Be Free Or Earned

SPEAKER_06 47:12

Because you know why? I don't, honestly, I don't think all men feel like that. Honestly, I don't think all men feel like that. And then at the same time, though, you gotta uh describe like what you mean, like in a relationship, or either if you're single and then look, you send somebody, or is it, or is it like your side piece? Because me personally, come right, me personally, and I'm saying everything comes with a price. Ain't nothing for free. And whoever thinks that to me is out there rabbit ass mind. You know, I mean, like, that would go back to courting. You know what I'm saying? You and then y'all told me that I buy every girl in the world that I talked to. And I said, no, though. I mean, everything comes with a price. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 47:51

I'm gonna tell you it was wrong for that. Let's let's make a check on that. I I never told you it was wrong for that. That comes with courting and dating.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

Okay. That should be expected. But me and feel like you said a little while ago, with the women start asking for too much.

SPEAKER_06 48:12

Yeah, I mean, I mean, see, what I mean by that is, okay, now, if I'm trying to hit, see, I feel like every woman deserves nothing but the best. But at the same time, though, if I'm giving you giving you the best, and then if and then if you're not dropping them panties, you know what I'm saying, it's like I'm in it for nothing. So, right, I feel what you're saying, how come men feel like that? Men shouldn't feel like that. Because you know, if you want something, okay, look, you gotta pay for it. Everybody, look, you want to drive, you gotta buy gas. If it's like if if you want to eat, barbecue, cook, whatever you want to do, you know what I'm saying, you gotta buy the food. Everything costs a life.

SPEAKER_03 48:49

But if you ask a few men that they'll be like, wait, well, you getting the sex too. So if I'm getting your pussy, you're getting some penis. But see. So it's kind of like an even trade.

SPEAKER_06 49:00

But see, it goes back to who wanted the most. You understand what I'm saying? It goes back to who wanted the most. If you want me more than I want you, you're gonna put more, I'm saying, look, you're gonna put more for effort. And effort is my. That's kind of how I look at it.

SPEAKER_03 49:43

Okay, so if hypothetically, and we're just gonna because we it's us two having this conversation, right? Okay, so if it's me and you hypothetically, in this relationship, gotta be a relationship, whatever it is that it is, and you're every time I talk to you or we meet up or whatever, you're asking for some puss, I should feel like if I ask you for something outside of your penis, I should be able to get it.

SPEAKER_04 50:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah, true, true. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_06 50:20

True. I mean, I'm I mean, I mean, look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm not doing I'm not taking no size, I just keep it a buck. If I'm asking and you and then and then I'm with you at the time, I expect you to give it. And then if you ask me for something and I'm with you at the time, I expect you to give it to me. No if and buts about it. That's how I look at it. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 50:43

It should be. I think if you asking me some for some puss every other week, and we linking up and you getting some puss, if I ask you for a pair of J's, a ride to the bus stop, whatever it is, your first response should not be no.

SPEAKER_01 51:03

Everything that I'm asking for. If you're asking me for puss every so often, right?

Gifts Sympathy Sex And Hidden Agendas

SPEAKER_03 51:17

You're asking me, right? I'm not asking you for your penis. You're asking me for it all the time. I think if I ask you for a pair of shoes or a ride to the bus stop or to take a simple picture or whatever it is, I think you should be obliged and say, Yes, I got you. Yeah, and it shouldn't always be nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. But then you turn around and ask me for some. But then when I'll make a reference to, hey, but wait a minute, you always ask for well, I'm giving you my dick. First of all, I ain't asked for it. Uh no, one time that I asked for it, you asking me all the time. No, I think the first time a female asks for something, it's like, oh my goodness, she asked him for this, she asked him for that. But nigga, I'm giving you my penis. Um look, but most men come out, but I'm giving you some dick. So what's the difference? You give me your pussy, I'm giving you some dick, so we even.

SPEAKER_06 52:15

So I got a question. What if a man now says be liking you, and then you know what this man is capable of doing? And then the man be treating you nice, he sees you, and then he send you little gifts and everything. Y'all not even talking, y'all just friends. So is it appropriate for that man to say, let me hit that?

SPEAKER_03 52:35

Oh yeah, yeah, and I could I can give him some sympathy pussy too. Because it's a it's a thing, right? Right? I some bonus pussy, some sympathy pussy, some here you go, just cuz because you're doing right. Absolutely, he's asked for some. If he's saying, if he's taking you to dinner every weekend, if y'all going shopping every weekend outside of that, and he's doing all these little off the bams, he has every right to ask for some. And I should have or be obliged and give him what he's asking for.

SPEAKER_06 53:11

I swear to God, I'm gonna have a fun summer where I'm at.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 53:16

I'm gonna have a fun summer because no, that's something that I do, you know. I mean, call it what it is, you know. I do have a lot of female friends where I'm at, and then I do look out for them, you know, just off the uh uh uh just off GP, you know. Who sent me these? They see my name with kind words and then everything, you know what I'm saying? So I'm really getting up for the summer. And it's like it's certain females that I am interested in that I don't I don't say nothing to, but I show them that I'm there for them. And I asked that question for a reason, and I don't care if y'all listen to my podcast, I'm being real. But though, at the same time, though, and I I was thinking about that, like can a minute someone ask a woman.

SPEAKER_03 53:53

Gee, gee, hold on, because you hold on now. That's that's just me. That's me. I feel like that. But don't you think just because you out there giving gifts and dinners and all these other affirmation forms of service, that's that's gonna get you some pussy. It's probably not because a lot of females don't think like that. A lot of females are gonna think like, well, you did it, that's what you want to do, and of course, I just took it. So, does that deserve you have some pussy? Absolutely not. So don't think because you ain't doing all these acts of services, that you're gonna be they're gonna feel obligated to give you some pussy. That's probably not gonna happen with a lot of females. It's just gonna be like, damn, nigga, you shouldn't have done that. Why the fuck you do it? Nobody actually do it, you do it because you want to do it.

SPEAKER_06 54:45

It's called trying, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 54:47

If it's called trying, I mean, I mean, yeah, but yeah, but everybody with males, you like with males, and I learned that too over the years. I learned that too over the years that because you know most women say most women, I don't know, but me, I I I prefer to hang out with with guys, right? So I got all these male friends, all these male buddies. But it would take another guy to say that dude wanna fuck you. And I'm going, no, no, he's just my friend. Hold on, hold on. They're like, no, he wanna fuck you.

SPEAKER_06 55:27

Do y'all listen to that? Because the people don't tell me they said a lot, they said a lot about me. He just wanna fuck you. You know what I'm saying? So, do y'all really listen to that and believe that?

SPEAKER_03 55:41

Well, it's it's 50-50. I think initially that's probably not what we were thinking, but then once somebody puts it in your ear and say, No, that nigga wanna fuck this. This ain't what dudes do, right? Right, I told you that before, like it's it's just not common for a guy to be out there whining and danning you just because he wanted to whine and down you. He has an agenda, it's something he's looking for, something that he wants. Relationship, probably not. It could be just he wanna smash, but women, uh a lot of us sometimes be naive and be like, Oh, he's just such a good friend. Oh, that's my bestie. Hold time. This dude will be like, two more weeks, I'll fucking the shit out of her.

SPEAKER_04 56:27

You shouldn't, you shouldn't put that one, you shouldn't put that one. That hey, that's real fun.

SPEAKER_03 56:32

In a couple of weeks, but it but men have agendas, and sometimes women be so naive and blindsided, we just taking the gifts because it makes us feel again. That's the love and the respect part of it. We just thinking, oh, he just loves me so much that he's doing these things for me, he cares about me. Not thinking that he won't fucking.

SPEAKER_06 56:53

I mean, honestly, a lot of women think that you're just crazy about them, and that don't be the case, you know. Sapin's like you Sapan's like, he bat me this, he bat me that, he just loved me. No, sweetie. I'm just really trying to smash, you know what I'm saying? Show you that and I'm saying it's greener over here, you know. The grass is green over here, and then the grass is brown over there, and you got snow all over there, and everything over here, it's all straight green grass. I'm saying we can go golfing, we can go do all this here. I'm putting that bug in her ear. And then she's smiling because it's it's like certain things that she don't get at home. You know, and and then and then I'm a great friend.

SPEAKER_03 57:35

Yeah. See, and that's again, that's somebody's love language. If my love language is affirmations, if if whether I'm in a relationship or not, if I get a guy that comes and says, Oh, good morning, beautiful. Hey, beautiful, how was your day? All of these, that is going to make my heart melt. Like this dude can just smith me out of all of my clothing because that's what I'm looking for from somebody. Acts of kindness. If this guy is picking me up from work, if he's bringing me lunch to work, if he's doing all these acts of service, of course, I'm going to melt like butter. It all depends on somebody's love language.

SPEAKER_02 58:19

True.

SPEAKER_03 58:20

So if he's doing and he probably doesn't want to smash and keep it going, but for females, and you know, men fuck with no intentions whatsoever. Y'all can smash a chick on Friday and don't even know her name.

SPEAKER_06 58:34

Oh, yeah, thing, you're right, because women, I mean, that happened to me before. I mean, call me over that weekend. Yeah, then I leave you know the next morning, and I wind up uh haven't seen her around about a month, month and a half, and she seen me. She's like, You just didn't call me a nothing. I'm like, I mean, I didn't know that we were doing stuff like like like okay, what I supposed to do, you know, like man, I mean, you said that matter of fact, you started off, not me. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 59:05

You started off, so so that's because she was already watching or feeling you. Most women just don't jump and have sex with somebody unless it was some type of connection already. Either I saw them before, I heard about them, something. Most women, men cannot approach a woman that has never, majority of the times. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but majority of the time a man cannot approach a woman and just be like, hey babe, how you doing? And then they just go off and fall. That normally doesn't happen. In order for this woman to sleep with you and give her your puss, it's because she already has some type of connection or something about you prior. Men don't have that discernment, right? Men just out there just throwing that shit in the circle, just giving that like trick-or-treat candy. That's the difference.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:02

Okay, okay. Well then what what I feel that I really do feel that I really I really can feel that.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:10

Yeah, so when men start, oh she just big, oh, this motherfucker asking me for this. And she, I just think men should should just be like, man, is she giving you her little cooch cooch then? Bad girl and bear shoes, pick the girl up from the airport.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:26

Yeah, I uh I totally understand. I totally understand.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:33

If she gives you all her little goodies, but that ain't how men see it. It's not I'm giving her the same thing she giving me. No, but you nine times out of ten, the men wanna way more than the women want, sex-wise. Not all the time, because it's some women out here.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:50

Will that cute?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:52

It's some users out here that wanted just as much as y'all want it to, but it don't happen all the time.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:58

Will it time to uh skid it? Yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:06

It was just getting good.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:10

We got it. So um, let me let me gonna close this off. Y'all have me listen to Black Talk Podcast. You know, I have my guest on the committer. She's a very good friend. Stay tuned next week, and then we have another uh episode coming up. And if you have any questions, you can always contact me on any one of my uh on any one of my blogs. I'm on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok. Just type in BAP and you'll see Bap Talk Podcast. I'm gonna look y'all stay tuned, and thank you.