In Which Our Hero Stays Up Way Past His Bedtime

Almost-twelve-year-old normal boy Ness finds himself in an anything-but-normal situation when a meteor crash-lands in his sleepy small town of Onett. Wandering out of the house at night to investigate while only in his jams, and armed with only a cracked wooden baseball bat, his trusty dog King, and his irritating next-door-neighbor Minch, Ness discovers he has an important part to play in an huge intergalactic conflict, and by the end of the episode makes not one, but two deadly enemies! Will Ness get to the bottom of the mysterious hunk of space rock? Will he survive the fearsome alien attack? Will he make it back to his bedroom before his mom catches him in the act? 

Find out on the very first episode of…. The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

Transcript

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You're listening to The Podcast Against Giygas! Episode one, in which our hero stays up way past his bedtime. The year is 199X, Onett, a small town in Eagleland. The houses lining the street lied still and snug together in the night like dozens of eggs resting in their cartons. Not a single light peaked out of their windows, and not a single peep could be heard over the summer cicas. Like the rest of the small town of Onett, Ness Elliott, a boy 11 years and 364 days old, was fast asleep. His bed next to the slightly open window in his room that overlooked the backyard and hills surrounding the town. His golden retriever, King, slept at the foot of his bed with him. Ness had spent his entire life so far since that first moment 11 years and 364 days ago growing up in the small town of Onett. In many ways, he was like most boys in Onett. He loved summer most of all, which is what he was right smack in the middle of now. He loved baseball, playing it with his friends and then lazing the rest of the day in their treehouse, or playing one-on-one with his dad, at least before the big promotion and the temporary move to Tokyo. He loved water of all kinds. Either dipping into the lake a mile past the valley behind Onett and sun burning on the sand the rest of the day or getting splashed by King when he and his mom gave him a bath or even the feeling of a nice mud puddle squelching under his feet. The kind of good muddy spot that gets you grounded for a week for even thinking about walking back into the house. He loves staying up watching spooky movies. Zombies breaking into your house, grasping for your brains, aliens beaming down in saucers poised to conquer Earth. or playing video games with his friends where the hero leaps and bounds through level after level of deathinducing obstacles and bottomless pits or squares off against foe after foe. Barbarians, sorcerers, ninjas, whittling down each and every one of their energy bars to zero with his powerful fists. All of those things to Nessus were "rockin!". Though he loved being a spectator to excitement such as these, it should be noted that there was nothing in Ness that allowed for real life daring due. Every chance he got to bend or break the rules, whenever his friends goed him to go on an exciting excursion to a spooky place cordoned off with do not enter signs, or jump off a slightly higher cliff than usual into the safety of the lake, Ness would always refuse. The fear of consequences stopped Ness from joining in any activity that could get him into trouble at home, at school, anywhere really. Though he enjoyed watching heroes be heroic, Ness preferred not to answer the call to heroism in his own life. Still, all this was no reason to ruin a perfectly good summer. The best thing about summer was on top of trips to the lake in the morning and all the hot dogs and soda he wanted all day and fireworks and sleepovers at night, his birthday was to come. All that and school was a million years away. Such was a night like this. Even with the anxious fornowledge of his next birthday, only one more sleep away, Ness and his dog alike were in a deep slumber, one that almost nothing could disturb. Not even a zombie attack, he thought in his dreams. Not even a spooky alien invasion. Well, to be fair to his dreams, the thing that did disturb his birthday sleep was neither a zombie attack nor a spooky alien invasion. At least not just yet. Whatever it was, the boom that came from it was louder than any firework anyone from Winnette had ever heard on any Fourth of July. The resulting shockwave shook them out of their beds, like the kind of earthquake the people there like to imagine only happened to other people on the opposite coast and never to them. Seconds later, every single light in every single house in Onett lit up like the skyline of a much bigger city. Ness snapped awake and flung the window open to see. Straining his eyes in the dark, he could see a plume of smoke up on the hill ahead. From behind him, Ness heard King whimpering. He turned around and saw him huddled in a corner, shaking, terrified of the big blast. Ness instantly forgot about the sight out the window, went to his dear friend, and gave him a big hug, stroking the fur on his head. Oh, no... It's okay, boy. Don't be scared. Whatever is out there, it's got nothing to do with us. Not long after the blast, the house was disturbed by another loud bang. This time coming from the door. It was someone's idea of a knock at the door, if it sounded in fact more like a drum roll, followed by shave and a haircut two bits somehow still off the beat. Nes sighed and hurried to the door, realizing he all but recognized a knock like that. He opened the front door, came beside him, and found himself not at all surprised. There was his next door neighbor, Minch, the mayor's oldest boy, and by all accounts Ness's very good friend, at least if an adult were to ask him if he was so. The frantic run next door took a lot out of Minch, who, so his parents always told him, was rather big boned. His overalls came undone on one strap from the run, and his beat up red sneakers looked somehow even more worn out than usual. He wheezed his breath back in, flipping the tufts of his poorly cut blonde bowl cut back, which was always getting into his eyes. Minch, are you crazy? You're going to wake up my mom! Ness, I saw it. I saw it come right out of the sky. Come on, lemme in. Three years ago, the fathers of Ness and his friends all banded together and helped build their beloved treehouse. Minch likewise went to his father who then went to the other fathers to express his deepest congratulations and also his deepest hope and wish that his dear oldest son would be included in the treehouse activities along with the other boys. With that same elacrity he exhibited 3 years ago. Minch invited himself into Ness's house. Did you see it? Did you see the meteor crash? No, I was uh, sleeping when it happened. Oh, well, my parents let me stay up as long as I want. That must have been why. Come on, we have to go check it out. No thanks. You go ahead. I'm going back to bed. Ness turned around and headed back toward the stairs when Minch stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. Wait, I can't go by myself. Then take your brother with you, or do your parents not let him stay up, too? Minch hesitated and for just a moment Ness noticed a hint of real fear quiver out of his voice which he promptly shoved back down. That's uh, well that's just it. He went out of the house to find it before me and now he's lost. If my dad finds out we snuck outside, he'll kill us. Or worse, dock our allowance. Ness knew Minch long enough to know that no protests, no words of common sense of any kind were enough to puncture even the worst of his ideas once he puffed himself up with one. And the other unfortunate thing about Nus was, as much as he never dared to do anything that risked danger, or that risked "not angry, just disappointed" from his parents, neither did he have the backbone to go against one of his troublemaking friends, should they dare him the trouble first. The next thing he knew, he agreed to help Minch on his quest, shaking on it with a loogie hocked into the palm of his chubby hand. He gave Ness barely enough time to put on his slippers, whistle king to his side, and grab his lucky baseball bat, which since his dad first got it for him before the new job in Tokyo, had seen its share of home runs and foul balls alike, and was rather cracked. What do we need my bat for anyway? For protection. you know, in case we run into any hobos along the way, they get to stay up late too, you know! On top of it being dangerous, on top of the fact that both of their parents would ground them forever if they got caught, and on top of Minch being the last person

he wanted to do this for at 3: 8:31

00 in the morning, Ness was going to be outside in public wearing his jams. Minch dragged Ness out of the house, and away they ran toward the valley behind their houses. They stopped at the first police roadblock where about 50 people were politely mobbed and badgering the officers with questions they neither could nor were allowed to answer. "Move along. Nothing to see here. Move along. Nothing to see here." "No fair," said one of the townspeople. "Nothing interesting happens in this town, and when it does, the police are always setting up roadblocks in front of it.""That's right," said an officer. "This town's known for its roadblocks. In fact, we're trying to set the world record for most roadblocks set up in a year. Move along. Nothing to see here. Ness was at once defeated by the heavy police presence, hopeful that such a police presence would promptly end the fool's errand Minch quite literally dragged him into, and relieved that apparently he was not the only one outside in his sleepwear. Nuts. The police are going to block off every way up to the valley. We'll never get to him now. And that's even if he's still there. Ha. The police serve the mayor of Onett. And who is the mayor of Onett? Ness answered in the most here we go again voice he could possibly muster. Your dad. Ness's feet moved by themselves when they followed Minch up to the roadblock. He puffing his chest up to the first available officer. Move along. Nothing to... Minch! What are you... shouldn't you be in bed? Your father must be worried sick. My father wants me to personally inspect the crash site for hazards. A public service, if you will. Be that as it may, we have to keep all civilians away from the site to ensure their safety. Even you Po- Every officer at the roadblock went silent and shot a tense look at their colleague. The officer stammered and sputtered as he met a sudden furious gaze from the boy. What were you going to say? Um, nothing. I, I... You sure? Um, yeah. Positive. You weren't going to call me something? Something that started with a P, maybe had an O in it somewhere? No, of course not. Um, tell you what, why don't we give you an escort just so we're extra careful. We don't want the mayor's boy and his friend getting hurt, now do we? That will do. Thank you, officer. The unfortunate officer turned his back to the boys, relieved that he smoothed over that close call for himself, and called out to the others on his team. Hey, Sanderson, why don't you go on up to the crash site and bring Minch's boy along with you? He's right... But when the officer turned his back, Minch's boy and his friend were gone. The way boys do disappear when an adult turns their back for even a second. Ness, Minch, and King by his human side ran as fast as their legs and adrenaline could take them. Even Minch putting a little more pep in his step than usual when it came to running away from the comps. When the coast was clear, they headed up to the right side of the valley toward the plume of smoke and dull light that led them toward the fallen meteor. Just like out of a sci-fi movie, the black jagged rock stuck out of a newly formed crater in the ground. Ness took a moment alongside Minch to admire this new and novel thing to happen to their sleepy town before he broke away from his companion to scan the area. Hm. I don't see him anywhere. When he eventually noticed, not Minch's brother anywhere, but rather the fact that Minch seemed no longer that concerned about finding him either, and instead transfixed on the awesome glowing hunk of space rock, a thought occurred to Ness that made him kick himself for not thinking of it earlier. Say, the meteor had only fallen like a minute or two before you came to my door. How did your brother get lost out here so fast? If... Mitch snapped out of his revery and looked to Ness, stammering and dissembling while still keeping an eye on the rock. Um, yeah, about that. My brother isn't out here. He never was. What?! Minch, you jerk! Look, I'm sorry. I lied to you and that was maybe wrong of me, but I had to see it for myself. I just had to. And I wasn't kidding before. We really needed your bat. My dad got me a really nice one made of solid titanium, but it hasn't come in the mail yet. A sudden pulsing of the yellow light from the meteor broke Minch's concentration away from even kind of trying to plate Ness. Even Ness couldn't help but glance at the thing, mad as he was at his sometime friend. It was then that he saw something. Even in the dark, he could have sworn something come out of the rock. Fly out even. Was it a bug or a... Yes, I'll have my dad set up an excavation team. Should be no problem there. Hey, do you hear that? Sounds like a bee or something. Shh, not now. I'm thinking. It's got to get into my room after that. I wonder if it can fit through my door. I've been meaning to have sliding automatic doors installed anyway. It was! The biggest bug Ness had ever seen in his life flew right up to his face and hovered with a humming buzz right over his nose. A bee I am... not. The buzzing thing spoke to Ness with a deep hum and an otherworldly echo. The sound itself seemed to stay completely within his own head. It sounded nice, actually. And then we might as well build an addition to my room since we got the contractors in there already. I'm sure we could just put the in-ground pool somewhere else in the house. I have traveled 10 years from the future with a dire warning. Giygas, the universal destroyer has laid all to waste. Huh? The pool Ness. I mean, I really don't want it so far away from my room. I prefer not to walk through the house so far and only my trunks. So, no reason I can't have both. I guess we'll just need two extra rooms added to the house. But hope yet remains. An ancient legend tells of three boys and a girl who defeat Giygas. I believe that you, Ness Elliott of Earth, are one of these chosen four. What? Four? No, just two should be fine. We don't have to go overboard. Or maybe maybe we could just get the other neighbors to move out and we can buy that house. I'm sure the HOA can drum up something. It just can't be helped. There's no room anywhere else. It appears Giygas has sent his plan in motion at this point in time. And if you set out to counteract him at once, you may yet be able to stop him. Minch, are you hearing this? Ness, please. I told you I'm trying to think- GAAAAAH! What is that? Terror overtook Minch as he pointed at Ness, flinging his right index finger at him again and again, sputtering out feeble attempts at more words. Even King began to bark with a fury unlike him. I keep trying to tell you. It's this bee. Well, I guess he said he's not one, but GAAAH! What is that?! Ness finally turned around and saw an alien creature looming over the boys. It looked like a spaceman in a space suit, but as if the space suit was an organic entity in itself. Its "suit" shined a liquid silvery sheen. Its arms and legs slithered like viscous tentacles toward the boys, and its spacesuit helmet head, despite there being no other features beside a translucent black visor, gave them a look that in no uncertain terms, said,"I am the predator, and you are my prey." The same way the not-be spoke to Ness, the spacesuit alien spoke to them all, localized directly into their heads. But while the former's voice was pleasant, the other was anything but that. Shrill, tiny, electric, nails on slate. It sounded like a bad radio signal. And though the voice was clear to comprehend, it created the same feeling of frustration of trying to make out something hopelessly garbled. What a fool you are to think you could stop the great destroyer, or to even escape his grasp by traveling through time. You're doomed to fail, and your master with you. The Apple of Enlightenment foretells it. What's it saying? I don't know... Giygas fears not the apple. He will annihilate this planet just as easily as he did Your own world. Minch cowered behind Ness, practically shoving him toward the freakish thing, while King barked and growled by his side. Ness froze in place, his back quivering in his hands, and did his best to stifle tears while he waited for the inevitable. The thing slithered closer and closer, and Ness was riveted to the ground. Something in him, because it wasn't his brain, finally lifted the bat in the air, ready to swing. The alien swung his arm in kind, knocking Nesss out of his way. He fell to the ground on his back with a grunt, and when he rose to his feet, he was amazed to find himself not hurt, not even the wind knocked out of him. But for all that, his cracked bat was now a jagged stump of wood in his hand. The alien's head glowed yellow, and a laser shot out of the clear black visor with a bang. Ness shielded himself with his hands and was seconds later stunned to see that the shielding hands actually worked. Well, not really. There was some kind of force field around him, deflecting that laser and many more lightning-quick blasts from the spaceman's head. Holy cow! How did you do that? I, I don't know. It took Ness a moment longer to realize that he wasn't doing it at all. His new small friend had summoned the force field, and with every frightening blast out of the alien's head, he deflected it from Ness with equally lightning quick precision, as if he could already tell beforehand where the laser was going to go, as if he was a real fly. But the alien being could take as much punishment as it could dish out. The buzzing alien friend fired just as many haymaker blasts of laser force at the enemy, who brushed them off with force fields of his own in kind. A fierce battle raged for the span of a minute or so, where Minch watched his friend alternately cower behind a strange force field, and yet somehow also fire wave after wave of concussive fusillades of alien power, wearing down the enemy's defenses bit by bit. Within his own mind, Ness heard the tiny alien shout. If a bird song or maybe a windchime could give a war cry of utter desperation and fury, well, that was it. With all its power, he shot a gigantic blast of energy at the freakish alien thing. A second later, the light cleared and the ringing in the ears stopped for Ness and Minch, and they found, instead of the horrible alien thing, a set of two viscous alien legs supporting a smoky torso. That was too close. He's on to me. Sending his minions to kill me before I got to you. And I'm lucky I did. The strain of traveling to this year must have affected my powers along with my size. There's not much time left. Without letting Minch say anything else about the terrifying occurrence or the logistics of his new meteor alike, Ness ran away from the site. King beside him, and Minch huffed and waddled close behind him. There was nothing left in him save the desire to go home. Maybe he'd get in trouble for going out at night, but at least his mom could figure out all this weird spooky stuff, if not make it all go away. Everything would be okay once he got home. Ness's feet brought him home after all, not to mention after covering an impressive distance to the valley and back all in his bedroom slippers. For whatever reason, rather than immediately enter the house, Ness hung back and took in some deep breaths with Minch. Oh man, this is bad. What do we do? What do we... With both hands, Minch grasped Ness's arms and dragged him toward the Elliott residence. Ow! What gives? Hey, knock it off. Sorry, Ness. Nothing personal. I'm

out of the house at 3: 21:55

00 in the morning, and I need an alibi. Minch brought Ness, struggling against his grip, to the front door, and not before clearing his throat as if to give a sophisticated speech, rang the doorbell. Ness's heart sank to his ankles as he heard the bell chime through the house. He looked on in horror, unable to move, as Minch rang the doorbell a couple more times. The lock and deadbolt came off from behind the door. It was happening. The door creaked open. In any moment now, his mom would be standing there, robe and slippers, hair mussed, first with a gasp of astonishment, followed by pursed lips, folded arms, and a tapping foot. Ness clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth any moment now. Here it comes... Ness, Minch! What on earth are you doing out here? He opened his eyes and saw his mother less angry and more bewildered at the sight of Minch grasping her son by the arm and his sudden fawning demeanor. Hello, Mrs. Elliott ma'am, good to see you as always. I just wanted to let you know that Ness went outside by himself in the middle of the night. Looks like uh, someone wanted to see the big meteor before anyone else. Imagine that. He was, huh? No, Mom. It's a lie. I was- Minch slapped a hand to his mouth, shutting him up. I just wanted to do my due diligence as an upstanding citizen of Onett and as your neighbor and make sure he got home safe and sound. You know, if anything horrible were to happen to him out there, I just I just don't think I could have ever forgiven myself. Denying Minch the chance to say anything more, Ness's mom sighed and placed a single index finger on her son's forehead. An awkward moment passed. Ness looking at the finger with cross eyes before she took her hand off and let them inside. Come on in. I'll make you boys some hot cocoa before you go back to bed. Shoes off in the house, Minch. As the boys let themselves in, Minch whispered to Ness while his mother ambled toward the kitchen. Why does your mom always do that when you're in trouble? I don't know. Ness felt like a sticky band-aid had finally been peeled off. Free for the most part from Minch and figuring it a good sign that his mom at the very least hadn't gone postal. Abandoning Minch to the living room, he followed his mom into the kitchen who already had water on the kettle and was scooping cocoa into two mugs. Mom, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I swear I didn't. You got to believe me. You believe me, don't you? She turned to her son and smiled. I believe in you, buddy. Though, maybe next time you might want to change out of your jams first, huh? She looked over Ness, whose pajamas were muddy on the pant cuffs, and a slipper bore a new hole for his big toe to wiggle around in. They were interrupted by a loud bang at the door, followed by the kitchen gently shaking from someone's gait in the room beside them. Someone, it should be said, also big-boned, which meant only one thing. The rest of the Minches invited themselves over. Ness and his mom both looked to each other with a shared and silent, "Oh boy!" While his mom hung back and kept working on the cocoa, Ness traipsed into the living room, Minch already waiting for him, to see mom and dad Minch, the very same illustrious mayor of Onett himself, B.H. Pirkle-Minch, and of course his lovely wife Larda, mid-waddle from the slammed front door on the way to plopping themselves onto choice sofa and armchair real estate. Mr. Minch was dragging along another boy by the hand, about 9 years old or so, and also in his pajamas, even more sleepy than the other boys. Minch's mother, fully dressed like her husband and in full vibrant makeup that suggested the plumage of a tropical bird, snapped at her older son in a way that sounded like she was yelling at him and Ness both, There you are. Where on. 628 any idea how late it is? There's a very simple explanation, Mom. Ness went outside to see the falling meteor, and I went out to bring him back home safely. He was lucky, too. It almost landed right on top of him, but I rescued him just in time. To Ness's dismay, he realized that someone else followed the Minches and let themselves in. Yes, it was the talking bug from the meteor now buzzing around the living room. So it was all real. It wasn't some kind of sleep-deprived hallucination. There you are. You ran off so fast I almost lost track of you. There's more I have to tell you, young mess of Earth. Listen. In 10 years time, Giygas will destroy this entire planet. Mr. Minch, that isn't true. I swear I was just... Wait, he'll do what? Hm, that was very dangerous and reckless of you, boy. We'll have to give Junior a hundred spankings for it. The younger boy snapped awake. What? Why me? I was sleeping the whole time. You should have been up to stop your brother. Who knows what trouble he could have gotten into out there otherwise. Why, he could have ran into a hobo. He will send his minions through time as you just saw. And he will also infect the minds of innocent people with evil thoughts. Ness, young man, might you be so good as to point where in your house you keep the spanking room? Uh, I don't think we have one of those, Mr. Minch, sir. Not surprising, considering the salary your father must be pulling. Oh well, nothing doing. Tomorrow then. Having seen to the elder boy's safety and the younger boy's imminent punishment, the Minches had now only to make themselves comfortable. As proportionately large as their oldest son, the weight of Mr. and Mrs. Minch's seating emitted a groan from the seats themselves that made Ness cringe. While the mom ran her finger along perceived dusty areas of the furniture adjacent to her, the dad took out his wallet and began counting huge wads of bills. Sheesh, this wallet is so uncomfortable to sit on. So full of money. On your journey, Ness, three things will be of the utmost importance. Wisdom, courage, and friendship. Remember always the words of the apple of enlightenment. Dad, can we have the meteor put into my room? Oh, of course, of course. Only the best for my boy. Gh. And so hard to fold, too."Let the chosen boy sing the song of the four points. The passing of time will shatter the nightmare rock and reveal the path of light." A meteor? Now?! Darling, we can hardly afford the in-ground pool as it is. We've been in abject poverty ever since you gave that loan to Mr. Elliott! Hm. Yes, I remember. It must have been for like a hundred million dollars. The, the path of... what? On second thought, maybe you're right, Ness, young man. Maybe it was a tad less than that. The minuscule not-be stopped flying around Ness and opted to rest on the coffee table, which Ness stood by as his guests took up the other available furniture. Minch, the oldest boy, that is, rose from his chair with a gasp and pointed at the table. Eugh! A dung beetle! This made his mom rise from her seat and screech as if a mouse had crawled directly underneath her. Where? Kill it! Kill it! Wait! No! Mrs. Minch grabbed the nearest weapon she had available to her, which this time was her third-best handbag and brought the thing down hard on the table. The glass surface cracked upon impact, but thanks to Mrs. Minch's heroism, the dung beetle crisis was otherwise fully averted. The bug man fell from the table onto the floor and Ness, horrified, ran to his side. We'll have to call an exterminator for you. You can let your mom know we'll arrange things. We'd hate to have any vermin hitch a ride into our house. At that moment, everything seemed to go quiet. There was nothing in the room except the bug, which upon a closer look, Nes could see was actually just a tiny man in a space suit. the buzzing of some kind of futuristic jet propulsion backpack. There was no sound in the room now except the minuscule man's soothing telepathic voice cascading into his ears and gliding through his body like a nice warm cup of cocoa. I'm weaker than I thought. The fight must have taken a lot of my strength out of me. There's not much time now. Here, take this. Ness wondered how the tiny man was going to give him anything when he patted the right pocket of his pajamas. He took out a dull red rock about half the size of his fist, pyramid-shaped, a four-sided die with tiny engravings on each side. His eyes skimmed over a footprint, then a rendering of some kind of geyser or waterfall. And was that Stonehenge? Before bringing his attention back to the otherworldly small man. It's called the sound stone. Go to each of the sanctuary spots in the four corners of the earth and with that stone record the melodies you find there. The complete melody will unite the power of the earth and with it amplify your own inner power. Find the other two boys and one girl. Find the remaining chosen four and remember always wisdom, courage and friendship. The man coughed his last words and not long after breathed no more. Ness watched in sorrow as the tiny man disintegrated into dust, blowing away somewhere under the couch. A miracle of science, a man no taller than his pinky, who traveled from who knows how many light years away, and who faced down horrible alien menaces and lived to tell the tale, was laid low forever by a woman whose greatest battle in her whole life would only ever amount to asking for the manager. The warm, comfy feeling of his telepathic voice left Ness forever, immediately replaced by the chatter and screeching of the Minch family. He rose to his feet and roared. You idiots! Look what you did! The room fell silent. The others not sure if they should be more offended by the outburst or confused by the empty patch of carpet Ness was pointing at until Minch finally broke the silence. What's your problem? It was just a stupid bug. Oh, why don't you just shut up, Porky? This left the Minches stunned. None more so than the oldest Minch boy himself. I told you not to call me that... ever. There was something in Ness that finally broke the damn of his restraint. Something in him when he heard Minch say,"Don't call me that." interpreted it as,"I dare you to call me that again." the very sight of him, of his horrible family making themselves at home, in his home, insulting him and his family made him physically sick. No more would he pretend to be his friend just because his mom said it was the nice thing to do. No more would he hesitate to wield that name at him, a name that cruelly zeroed in on the most sensitive part of him and was whispered behind his back among even his most cherished friends. A name that Ness sometimes imagined, daydreamed using after putting up with his worst, but never dared to his face, until now. Well, too bad! I did. I called you Porky. Porky. Porky. Porky. Porky. Porky! So Ness did. And so Minch was to be. Never again just Minch. Never again Whatever his real first name was that not even he or his parents ever used. From now on he was always to be. Porky Minch. The boy seethed, huffing deep through his teeth, clenching fists as he kept a horrible glare on Ness, who, as good as it felt in that brief moment, now started to regret bestowing upon him his new name. You and I are now mortal enemies. Everywhere you go, no matter what you do, I will be there every step of the way to thwart you. I will stamp out every hope and dream within you, no matter how faint a glimmer it may hold in your heart. And then I'll just rip it out right in front of your face and squeeze it in my hand like so much orange juice. From now to the end of time, I swear on my life, you will never be rid of me. Without giving Ness even a second of a chance to respond, he made a beline to the door and slammed it behind him. And not long after that, his parents followed him, dragging the young brother with him. Ness's mom entered the living room with two cups of cocoa and perfect timing. What on earth was that all about? Ness took his hot drink and plopped himself on an armchair, and his mom sat herself down on the couch, helping herself to the other cocoa. I called him Porky on accident... and then a lot more times on purpose. Oh dear, that might not have been a good idea. Maybe tomorrow you can apologize to him. No way. It's all his fault. This whole stupid night was his idea. Still, he is our neighbor. Ness gulped down the rest of the cocoa in his mug, now not too hot after all the excitement, and headed toward the stairs and up to his room. Whatever. I'm sick of him. He's a jerk and he deserves everything that comes to him. Anyway, what's the worst he could really do? You've been listening to the podcast against Giygas! The Podcast Against Giygas is an audio book written and performed by me, Garrett McMahon, based on Earthbound, the Super Nintendo game directed by Shigesato Itoi, with production by William Pawlowski and thumbnail design and art direction by David Peters. This podcast stinks. It is also a fan-made project affiliated in no way whatsoever with the Nintendo Corporation or Mr. Itoi. This podcast is free to listen to, ad free, and always will be. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode and I'll see you back next Monday. Till next time.