May the 4th be with you

🌌 May the 4th Be With You | What if one of the world’s most iconic movie franchises was actually teaching us how to live? In this fun and meaningful episode of Beautiful Chaos, Tammy and Staci explore the life lessons hidden inside Star Wars—from fear and courage to mindset, growth, choices, and believing in yourself. With laughter, real talk, and relatable stories, they break down how these timeless quotes still apply to everyday life.

✨ Whether you’re a lifelong fan or just love a good lesson wrapped in pop culture, this episode is for you.

#MayThe4thBeWithYou #StarWarsDay #BeautifulChaosPodcast #LifeLessons #Mindset #PersonalGrowth #PodcastLife #WomenWhoPodcast #SelfImprovement #Motivation

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:05

May the fourth be with you.

SPEAKER_03 0:07

But what if Star Wars wasn't just a movie? What if it was actually trying to teach us how to live our lives?

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Because it is. Because if you really listen, Yoda might just be one of the best life coaches out there.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Right? Like do or do not. There is no try. Sir, that feels personal.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Yeah, absolutely. And honestly, most of us have had a little Darth Vader moment here and there. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Uh-huh. Uh speak for yourself, but also, no, same.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

So let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

It's a beautiful tale. It's a beautiful play of us. Sometimes sometimes a hell of a sweet little shape. This beautiful chaos.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Welcome to Beautiful Chaos. Today's episode is May the Fourth be with you. I'm Stacey Miller. And I'm Tammy Ramsey. And I am the biggest Star Wars nerd you will ever find. I have a vanity plate on my car that's Star Wars. I keep Star Wars stuffed animals inside of my car because there was a weird cubby and I didn't know what to do with it. So obviously I got Star Wars characters in there. Well, of course. These are some of my Legos. My attack. She did this. I did this Lego.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

If you did see Star Wars.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

I actually recently listen. Enjoy your life. And if you listen to the last episode where we talked about who am I, I am a nerd. And I've always been a nerd, and I'm always, and I'm perfectly fine with the fact that I'm a nerd and I embrace it. And I'm usually the first person to call it out because it because even before it was like cool to be a nerd, I was already a nerd. And so I'm the first person to tell you. And so my after my kids moved out, um, I had two empty rooms and I didn't know exactly what we should be doing with them. You know, it's like home office, and do you create a gym and all the things that you're supposed to do? I decided the big room can be storage slash spare bedroom and it's got a bed in there. And the smaller room, I literally turned into what I now call my nerd room. And so it's got a big comfy chair and a nice like reading lamp, and I can sit in there and read a book. I can watch TV, but I also have shelves in there where I keep my cool Star Wars Lego sets because I'm a little obsessed. Um, and actually, you don't know this, but for my birthday, a friend of mine got me a giant like this big Death Star that hangs on the wall, but it's got shelves on it, so I can put all my little Legos on a giant Death Star.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Anyways, my personal fandom is not the reason that we are here today. We are here to learn the life lessons from Star Wars because if you actually pay attention to what's going on in the movie, it's very political and it's very real life, and it the force is strong and with everybody, but there is a dark and a light side to everything. And I think that the reason that probably Star Wars has resonated with people year after year after year, it's generation after generation at this point, is because of that underlying theme of good versus evil and you know having the this force around us, and I think that yes, the characters are fun, and there's a lot of other there's battles and love scenes and fights and all of the things that people want out of a movie, but you're getting really good life lessons with just a great backdrop at the same time.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

For sure, for sure. So I think that um one of the the lines that I think you quoted to say, hey, let's let's do this episode, and you quoted Anakin Skywalker, didn't you? It was not this one, not this one.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

The one that I thought, it's not this one because it's a good that's a good quote. We brought up because we've got lots of good quotes that we're gonna go through, but um it's actually a Yoda quote and he's talking to Anakin and he says, Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. And I think that that is because you know, Anakin is going through this life crisis of as a as a Jedi, you're supposed to cut off all personal ties because your life going forward, it's almost like somebody going into the priesthood, right? Is you don't necessarily cut ties with your family, but we're not having like personal relationships, you're not necessarily getting married, you're not your life is dedicated to God when you're in that position, right? And so as a Jedi, your life is dedicated to the force. And so you really shouldn't that he was trying to teach Anakin that he can't get hung up on his relationship with his mom, and he can't get hung up on his relationship with Padme because he needs to be focused on being a Jedi because he's gonna bring balance to the force. That all sounded really nerdy, but hate does lead to anger. Anger, oh yeah, you know, we we will suffer when we just sit in our hate and our anger, and you know, we all know that when we're when we're upset, we bring that energy into whatever we're going into. When we're mad at somebody and we have anger at work or at an event or whatever it is that you're doing, you bring that energy in there and you're you're really the only one suffering at that point. You might be mad at Jim Bob down the street, but you're the only one that's hurting for that because the guy doesn't even know you're mad at him, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Right, 100%. Well, and I think that that when they're talking about fear, like fear is the path to the dark side. Yeah, I think that um fear is like I even I if you think back to Cowboys and Indians, I mean, this is how long this has been going on for forever and ever. Somebody's different from us. So what did we do? We feared them and we thought we have to destroy them any way we can. I mean, that's every war. Every war that's ever happened. So that's what's happening in Star Wars, which is an example of what is happening in real, in real life in all aspects. Yeah. So um, yeah, I I think fear definitely, like you said, turns to anger, can turn to regret.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Absolutely. If we talk about what are the things that we fear, what I fear the most is failure. Failure is my biggest fear, and sometimes that puts me to where I don't want to put myself out there because I don't want to fail, and so then I don't want to try. We'll get to that a little bit later, but you know, you do fear of messing up, so you're fearing of failing. You do, like you said, fear of rejection or not being enough.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Well, I actually fear success also. And but and I've had to let go of that, I've had to recognize, I think, and acknowledging your fear can can really help you to um understand and release and make you really think. Becoming self-aware is huge because I think that's what Yoda does with a lot of his speak, yeah, is he's trying to make you self-aware of what's going on without, you know, totally slapping you in the face with it. And I think that um once you recognize, like for me, once I recognize I'm I'm afraid to succeed because then that's gonna change my life. And right, the you know, this could get out of control, and this could be this could be this, and I'm not gonna, and you know, and I'm afraid of it. Yeah. So same thing, you can fear failure and you can fear success.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

And I think that also just comes from like a fear of change. Yes. Because it's that unknown. There's you know, I've I've withheld a lot of things in my life because I'm scared of well, I just don't know if that's gonna look like it's we we get comfortable and whatever. What is it? The the devil you know, right? You get comfortable with what you know, and so you you don't take that leap and you don't try to try something new, but but when you sit in that fear, it can make you angry and it can turn you into big old grumpy pants. So when have you reacted in anger? Can you think of a time that you've ever can you think of a time? I mean, I could think of it as a bomb mystic, I can think of a million times that I reacted in anger.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

When it was probably some sort of fear. Because with kids, I think it's easy to know you can't do that, no, you can't go here because you're you're scared. What if something happens? Right. What if, you know, and then you're not letting everyone experience all that life has to offer at that point, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Yeah, it's true. Because yeah, just like not wanting your teenager to get in the car with senior boys when they're a freshman.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Yeah, right. I mean, that's a very fear.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

And then when you find out they did, you get mad. I'm not saying who it was, but I'm just saying then you're mad about it because you you're you're really deep down, it is just the fear of, but this could have happened. Right. All that you hear about date rape and all these things, and you have those fears built up.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

And those fears I think are are quite valid in that situation. It is still gonna lead to anger, and you are still going to be upset. But I think that you know, if we think about a lot of the things that we talk about on here regularly, let's talk about the fear of being um successful or the fear of failing when it comes to changing your lifestyle, changing your healthy eating habits, right? But I really like ice cream, or I really like cookies, or I really just like to eat, you know, like I love food, and so how would I turn that food noise off? And how would I, it's just easier not to, and so I'm just gonna keep doing what I do and I'm comfortable, and then but we it's uh it's about getting out of those comfort zones and trying something new, or like you said, fear of success.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

What happens if I do lose all this weight and I quit eating all these things? Am I gonna be just a grouchy pants because I'm happy because I'm not I'll be skinny when I'm skinny and gruffy. Who wants to be skinny and gruffy? I I kid you not. The first time I lost a ton of weight, I dropped like 35 pounds and I was like to size six. What happened on that path was I had to come to a recognition recognition in my mind of just because you're gonna get skinny doesn't mean you're gonna leave your husband. Oh, oh, somebody I knew had gotten uh skinny, went got into bodybuilding, and they ended up leaving their husband and all these things. And I would for some reason that was like in my mind. Oh, is that was it an excuse? It could have been, could have been an excuse for me to hang on. Sure, but anyways, it's still fear-based. Absolutely. Because your fear is that could happen to me. So um, in anything we do, I think this is a Yoda quote, is it not? Yeah, do it or do not. It is the Yoda quote. There is no try. There is no try. There is no try. You have to just see it and do it.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

And this is and this is gonna sound whatever. Everything I'm gonna say, disclaimer, it's all gonna sound silly. But no, it's not. I think that I've always I've look at I've been a Star Wars fan since I was three years old. But do or do not, there is no try, I struggled with for a long time. Because when your kids are really little, you're like, just try to like say the word right, or just try to tie your shoes, or just try this new thing, because it's okay to at least you tried, at least you tried. And that is very important at that age and in those situations. But what we're talking about when you're talking about do or do not, there is no try. If you're going to decide that starting tomorrow, you're changing one habit, because again, we want to bring in everything we've learned up until this point. So you take in everything that we've ever talked about. You're not gonna wake up tomorrow and eat healthy and exercise on a perfectly good routine and and then remain consistent on all of everything you ate all day, all the water that you intook, and then all of your um new exercise habits. We don't change those things overnight, right? But let's say that you decide today that tomorrow you're gonna wake up and you know exactly how you can replace one thing in the morning for something better, right? And you're gonna start that tomorrow, right? Because we we always say that you replace one habit with another habit. So if you normally scroll on TikTok for 20 minutes when you wake up in the morning, but you can replace that with 20 minutes on the treadmill in the morning, or you eat some crappy breakfast, but you can replace it with something close to that crappy breakfast, but it's actually a really healthy version of it. These are the things that we're talking about. And so now you you you either did it or you didn't do it. You can't try to decide that you're going to go get on the treadmill for 20 minutes. You get up and you do it. Right. And if you didn't, you didn't. You you do or you do not, and you have to take that try out of it at in those types of commitments for yourself because now it's a matter of I just need to get things done.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

Yeah, I just need to full on be 100% invested in what I'm doing. Right. Yeah, for for sure. And that's an everything in life. If you're starting something new, you're gonna you know put a hundred percent effort into it. Um, you're gonna make that decision to fully be immersed in whatever it is that you're doing and focus on being the best version of yourself in that aspect. And trying is more like a built-in exit plan. Right. Right? If we try, oh well, I failed, so I might as well just not even and that is that's something like, oh, I'm gonna go to the gym every day. Well, it's unrealistic. Every day is not realistic, yeah. So you have to really be realistic with what you're trying to create.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

And you set expectations for yourself, you plan ahead. If you're gonna decide tomorrow you're gonna change something, you better have sat down today and made a plan or decided, like like we were saying, the the way you can replace A with B and vice versa.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Because if you don't have a plan, it is gonna become a try and then a oh well I tried. But you really didn't it didn't happen.

SPEAKER_03 14:12

Yeah, yeah, but you really didn't. Because if you didn't create steps to get you to where your goal is, daily steps that you could do to create that difference in your life, that thing that you're wanting to become or the thing you're wanting to do. Right, then yeah, you're you're holding back. Why are you holding back? Where are you holding back in your life? What is it that you're wanting to do that you're not doing? Is it the fear of being successful? Yeah, the fear of failure, yep, fear of being judged. Right, right, right. Like well, remember the the first couple of episodes, and I would edit our I edit our episodes, and I remember looking and I'm like, I got I had rolls sitting in those chairs.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Oh, we have those chairs, and I should have sat that way, and why don't it look good in that color?

SPEAKER_03 14:57

Yeah, we're totally judging, judging, and and but I finally was like, you know, that's somebody might be sitting there going, Oh, look at her fat rolls, oh look at that.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

And I don't, but I don't care, but somebody else is looking at that same image and going, Wow, I want to look more like that, I want to be a little bit skinnier. She looks good that at that in that size or that way, right? And so we always remember there's both sides to it. Somebody may look at you and think, Wow, I wouldn't have chosen that color, I wouldn't have chosen that lipstick, whatever it is, right? But there's somebody else is looking at you and going, Oh man, I want to look up to that person.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

So there's both sides. 100%. So diets, workouts, goals, you know, you can you can say that you've tried them for years and this didn't work and that didn't work, but really think back and look and think, Did you try or try not?

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Okay. Okay, so our another quote is this is Anakin, as he's teetering with his thoughts on going to the dark side, and he says, I have brought peace and freedom to the galaxy. It's very good. Anyways, he's trying to justify the poor decision that he's making and justify that it's okay to go to the dark side and it's okay to be he doesn't think the dark side is bad guys anymore, right? He thinks that they're doing the right thing, and he's justifying it by saying, I brought peace and freedom to the galaxy.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Yeah. And in what way did he? Because he was controlling it all.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Yeah. And the empire was controling the people he loved, and he or he thought that he was making this decision in order to have the people that he loved, and then it made all the people that he cared about not want to be around him anymore. But so basically, what we're talking about with this one, the life lesson is do we justify the bad decisions that we make in our life? And how are we doing that? And is it is it our ego getting in the way?

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Are we right? Are we losing ourselves while we're thinking that we're so right that we don't want to give up on being right? Which, first of all, every if you're married, know this. It doesn't matter who's right. It doesn't like you can have an argument with your husband and you think you're right, and you might as well just shut up and say it to yourself. I think I'm right, and I'm just going to keep it to myself because it it doesn't matter. But that's a whole nother story.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

But while we're storytelling, Tammy, is there any bad decisions that you've made recently that you tried really hard to justify your way out of that you would like to tell the class?

SPEAKER_03 17:32

Share with the class. What an idiot. Uh I medically am an idiot sometimes. You know, I I figure this out. I think it's because my husband's very wise and he listens to his body. And he's always telling me, why don't you listen to your body? Because I'm gonna tell you right now, my body lies to me. Yeah. So, or my mind does. I was saying there's a stubborn block that starts right here. Right in the mind.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

It happens because your body was trying to tell you from the story I heard for two weeks, something was wrong.

SPEAKER_03 18:02

Yes, two weeks. So, what happened was I was um I struggle with thyroid issues and I got put on an all-natural thyroid, which I was super excited about. I did notice a difference. I went from 30 milligrams to 45 milligrams, and I was feeling better. I had more energy, all these things were great. And then um I was uh told by uh my functional doctor, well, no, I can't say that. That's okay. Okay. I was told to increase my or you decided. I decided uh with information I gathered that I should increase to 60.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

She decided that she was the doctor in her life, and that by using her listen to my body, that she's gonna just try maybe a different dose without talking appropriately with who she should talk to.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Yeah, which what?

SPEAKER_03 18:54

Well, now so the 60 milligrams worked great, and I felt better than I ever have. I was doing fabulous. I I lost that anxiety, I lost that feeling of I felt like my body was like this all the time. For for years, I've had moments of that. I've had anxiety and panic attacks for years off and on. And through healthy eating, I've gotten rid of a lot of that, but here, you know, I I'm taking a 60 and I'm like, wow, I feel the best I've ever felt. But then she's running out of medicine, so I decided to drop it back down to the 45, which I later learned you you're supposed to like come down off of that slowly. It's not something you just go from 60 to 45.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

It's also something that we as individuals don't make decisions about our prescribed medications by doctors on our own.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

Because we should listen to our doctors. Uh-huh. So, uh, so, anyways, today I'm I'm I'm taking uh the 60s. She fixed it and went back to where she's supposed to be, and now look, she feels great. I feel great. Well, I'm actually taking the 60, which isn't what I'm I mean, it it's it it is. I just need to call the doctor and have it upped because I feel great. When I went back to 45, I had adverse reactions, and for two weeks I I just never slept as much, felt like I was dragging, um, ended up having cold chills, like all of these brain fog, you name it, if you list it on there, what happens when you drop your dose of your thyroid medicine?

SPEAKER_02 20:30

So when we're talking so we're talking about justifying bad decision if we go back to that. We have did your ego get in your way? And so regardless of all the who's and what's and how all of this happened, at the end of the day, I think that I think that in your attempt to listen really carefully to your body, you made some risky changes.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

And then completely forgot that that might be part of it because her ego might have gotten in the way of making bad decisions, and she was trying to justify her bad decisions, and then realized, wait a second, I should be taking care of my body the way that the doctor told me to. And now she feels better. Anyways, I just really wanted to pick on her because I think she was a great example of that specific.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

That was even doubling down instead of admitting I was wrong. Yeah. Because yeah, I'm, you know, I'm still in denial. I because I think I feel better. I just need to go to the doctor and let the doctor know this is what I did that made me feel better, and I need to continue to do that.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

And this is the important part in our podcast where I think we we like to remind you guys that we are not medical. Not medical professionals. And any decision that you decide to make based off of what you hear from here, please run it by your doctor first. Even if it's just changing your, you know, how how you're taking care of yourself. If you if you're gonna, you know, drastically change your diet, definitely talk to your doctor. If you're going to um change your workout routines, that's That's important that you run by that by your doctor as well.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

If you're gonna start a workout routine, it's important to talk to your doctor because if you've not been working out for years on years and years, and you have extra weight that you're carrying, you might want to make sure that all of your blood work and all of your things and that your doctor says it's okay for you to be absolutely be careful and take care of yourself. So I don't know if this is an actual quote, but um no. Yeah, but uh so the the biggest thing is if if you don't believe in yourself, so we're gonna go back to um kind of the Yoda thing, try or try not, but if you believe in yourself, then that belief will shape your outcome. You and and sometimes it takes somebody else believing in you, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Which I think in the movie that's what was happening, right? Because Luke was we knew genetically that he was Anakin's son, and so he had it in him to be one with the force to become a Jedi, do all of the things, right? But he didn't wasn't raised that way, and he didn't believe any of it, and so he's trying to train train with Yoda, and I think Yoda just thought like genetics was gonna jump in and he was just gonna be amazing. Yeah, and you know, we all know he was incredibly whiny in the first movie, and all Luke did was whine and whine and whine, and finally Yoda's like, oh my gosh, just do it or don't do it, but quit whining about it because that's what he was really saying. Yeah, and then I that that was him trying to believe in Luke, and I think from there Luke started to believe in himself and was able to do more instead of try and fail.

SPEAKER_03 23:43

Yes, so he built up confidence, and that's what that's what that's another great lesson in life. Like only through practice, right, only through practice and doing can you build confidence um and and create the capability to do whatever it is you're trying to succeed at. Yep. So we're not just naturally think about kids that are like, um, well, I want to be Michael Jordan and play basketball and be the superstar. And they've never picked up a ball. Right. And they don't understand. Or they're only wanting to practice like five minutes a day. Yeah. And they don't understand, like, you know, Michael Jordan lived and breathed that, and he did shot a hundred baskets, a hundred free throws every day. Yeah. Even all through his career. Right. Yes. Every day he shot a hundred free throws on top of all the practices and all the work that he did. So you gotta do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

So that brings us to your focus, determines your reality, which is what she's talking about when it comes to Michael Jordan, right? He he focused on basketball all the time, and that became his reality, and then that's where all of his progression in life continued to go. And so, where's our focus? What are we looking at? What are what are we putting all of our time and energy and effort into?

SPEAKER_03 25:08

If you're scrolling Facebook, and I'm gonna pick on Facebook, and you're seeing all negative things, or you're seeing um, I don't know, if you have whiny friends like that only share these dramatic moments, and you would think, gosh, like they don't have a happy, happy moment at all. Like I I had a friend like that, and I'm like, man, I just gotta not, you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Or friends that are really political on either side of the spectrum. Yeah. And you just want them to kind of come down the middle a little bit, get a little bit closer to reality. Yeah, it gets frustrating scrolling through Facebook for that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Yeah. So yeah. So focused, focus on what's gonna grow you as a person and create what you want to create. First, you gotta know what do you want to create in your life? What kind of person do you want to be? Like for me, I want to be this open-minded, loving person. I want I want people to be able to look at me and think, well, she's authentic and she's somebody that really cares about people because I do. Right. And so that's all of my stuff that I try to learn is all psych like psychology stuff and personality things because I want to know what makes people tick, what makes me tick, like just focusing on growing as a as a person to the best of my ability.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

And also you the people you surround yourself with, yeah, you will innately start to mimic some of the things that they do or some of their behaviors. So if you're constantly surrounded by negative people who like to talk negatively and pull other people down, you will start to build that in your mind. Whether you say it out loud or not, your self-talk is still gonna be the negative negativity and the things that you hear all the time. I've had, I mean, I've changed jobs before, to be honest, because of constantly hearing negativity and then constantly feeling negativity and being like, this isn't me. Like, this isn't who I am, and I need to be away from people that are constantly feeding negativity into my life.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Right. Where do you what do you want to be around? Something that's chaos and and negative, or people that are in gratitude and positive and feel all the good things.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

Sometimes you have to do like a really good Facebook friend clean out also. I think those are important because it if you're going to spend time scrolling, you don't want it like sometimes I'll even go through if I see an ad over and over again and I just don't want to keep seeing it, I will start blocking certain ads, and I know I'm still gonna get ads, and I know I'm just gonna get different ads. But when I get the same one every single time I open Facebook, I don't want to know that much about a drug I'm never going to take or a product I'm never going to buy or whatever it is. I'd rather, if I'm if I have to be fed ads, Facebook can keep changing its algorithm and try harder because I don't want to hear things about things that I'm never gonna be interested in. So, but we have to sometimes do that with friends on Facebook too, because like you said, some people just they use it just to dump all their negative thoughts out. And so sometimes you just have to let those fake online friendships for those people go, and maybe you're still gonna be friends with them in real life, but but you just it's okay to find safe spaces for yourself in whatever that looks like, whether it's filtering out your Facebook feed or spending less time with certain people or finding a way to like create a safe zone when you're at work that hey, I just need to be here and focused for a little while. But you'll know how to put that into play in your in your life. So now there's another uh great quote that is in every single Star Wars movie, every single time, but it started, of course, with Han Solo, and he says, never tell me the odds. Because C3PO, I'm gonna go ahead and nerf it. Because they're they're trying to like, I don't, I think they were getting hyperspace or something. They were trying to do something that wasn't really gonna work. That's right, and C3PO is super smart, so he's doing the math and he's like, uh, I don't think this is gonna work. Never tell me the odds. And every time there's some way to get that in in every Star Wars movie, uh, and there's always a droid being told, never tell me the odds.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

And I love that because if you were if you were told uh all right with this podcast, uh and I have no expectations of where this is going to go, what's gonna happen. But if somebody had said, oh, posh posh, you're maybe do that, maybe perch, this weeds, whatever. Yeah. Don't tell me because I'm gonna have the experience and just give it my best shot. Whatever happens, happens. Like if people enjoy it, they enjoy it. If not, then they don't. Like whatever.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

Well, when you think about, I mean, this is obviously drastically different um thing, but sometimes people get I'm thinking of the times where we're actually told odds in our life, right? And sometimes it's when you have some sort of medical condition or you're facing some sort of diagnosis, right? Well, odds are da-da-da. Okay, cool. I don't need to know the odds because I'm gonna because odds can make you doubt yourself and make you not like try and progress. And so don't tell me the odds. I'm gonna do the best. Healthy food, course of action, exercise plan. I'm gonna take whatever meds you tell me to take, and we're gonna beat whatever this is. It's the same kind of thing. There's no sense in telling me the odds.

SPEAKER_03 30:45

Yeah, I love it. Okay, I don't know who this comes from. In my experience, there is no such thing as such thing as luck.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Uh I don't know where it comes from, but I think that it is important because it there is no such thing as luck, right?

SPEAKER_03 31:00

We make our own luck. We create our own outcomes with the discipline and consistency.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

And also, like, if we think about other like little places where I actually think would use the term luck, it's usually a God thing, right? It's that it's that God made this thing happen or put this thing there, but also, you know, in order for certain things to, you know, what I what do they say? You can't win the lottery if you don't play? Yeah, you can't be lucky and winning the lottery if you never played, right? So we you know it's that same sort of concept of discipline and consistency. And I'm not saying discipline yourself and play the lottery every week, but like you can't just get lucky and get healthy if you didn't put in the discipline and the consistency. You can't get lucky and lose 20 pounds if you didn't change your eating habits, increase your water intake, etc. etc. Right? Right. I love that. Um This quote is great when we talk about anybody in politics. And it's the ability to speak does not make you intelligent. And that's just a funny one. I don't know that we necessarily need to get into it, but if we just say, and I'm not talking about any one specific political leader, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying in politics in general, I I constantly want to say the ability to speak does not make you intelligent. And if any of you use this as an excuse to knock on Jardar Binks, I actually really like that character, so it's there. We are what they grow beyond.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

And so I think we want to tie this one into like parenting, yeah. Letting go of our kids, and I think that getting that understanding that that's our job, like you said, under you were told. Yeah, I'm thinking it was Nicole. Yeah, Nicole that didn't. Yeah, and so you were told and and you had that great knowledge of which and Kevin told me do you want to raise good children or responsible adults? Yeah, that's a big one.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

And also, like, I think when we talk about grow beyond is you know, I've seen this one a lot recently where you know, we always say we want our kids to be better than us, we want our kids to have more than us, whatever. But if we're then jealous of the fact that they're living their life mentally healthier or uh whatever, that we can't do. And on likewise, when your kids start making really great decisions and they're probably much better parents than you are, they shouldn't look at you and go, why didn't you have this figured out? Generationally, we've all grown up very differently with very different lenses on life. And we do want our kids to be better than us. And so when they are, we sh we can learn from them too, and then let them continue to teach more to your grandkids who are going to be far better than all of us.

SPEAKER_03 33:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

And it's exciting.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

I learned a lot of my um, I'm always into updating parenting skills, and with um when Trochelle went to school, you know, we would have lots of conversations, and I and I f felt like, well, this is things that I want to do with grandkids. So then as the grandkids came, a couple of them would have temper tantrums, and I would go to Treschelle and say, Okay, how should I handle this? Right. Or even to my sister-in-law, Kimmy, who's a counselor, right? Okay, how should I handle this? And I would take in all that information and then I would try to incorporate what I had learned from them.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

Because we used to, and I'm not saying any of us, but maybe our parents, kid throws a temper tantrum, kid gets spanked, kids get, kid gets sent to their room to go and tantrum somewhere else, right? But now we're learning through either our you got our more healthy children or the next generation or somebody who's maybe had some good therapy or whatever the case may be, that you know, young kids have little, you know, tant tantrums, they're coming from really big feelings that they don't know what to do with.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

And it's just like when babies cry because they're hungry, they cry because they need something. They're not crying to be annoying, they're crying because they have a need. The temper tantrum is being thrown because they have a need that's not being met. Whether it's um, I mean, it might be because they didn't get a toy, but we all know that at the end of it, it's probably that they're very tired. Right. They're very overstimulated, they're over the day, whatever it is. And then you learn how to have more appropriate conversations. And I was always told, like, um, don't reason with a toddler. You know, why are you trying to reason with a toddler? But then you look at it and it's like, yeah, but you do have to squat down, get on their eye level, yeah, have a conversation, find out where these feelings are coming with. And to some, it might sound like you're reasoning with a ch with a toddler, but to others who are cognitively healthy when it comes to their kids, they know that they're actually giving them an opportunity to express their feelings. Right. Maybe we don't agree that you're really mad that the banana was peeled wrong, but that's okay. That's still the big feelings that they're having in that moment.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Right. And sometimes they just need to name that feeling also, because that's one thing I think that's very helpful is if they can understand well, what you're feeling is frustration, what you're feeling is anger. You know, you're upset because, you know, you wanted this toy and you're disappointed that you didn't get the toy. Right. I think another good thing, I'm gonna give you an example in their toy thing too, is to have conversations with your toddler. I mean, people all the time, I'm like, I'm t they might not even be communicating. Like they they might say just a few words. They're not like full sentences yet, but I'm gonna tell you right now, their minds are like sponges and they know more than than you think they do. Right. And I will have conversations, grandkids all ages, and say, okay, we're gonna go into the store and I'm gonna get XYZ. And today we're not getting a toy or candy because I'm in a hurry. Right. So we're gonna go in and do this, okay? And yeah, we go, and then it there's no meltdown. But if I don't have that conversation, set this like and I've just let it, you know, throw it up in the air and wish for the best, then there's yeah, kids meltdown.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

Kids really thrive on um a schedule and a routine, and so when you don't tell them why you're going into the store or what you're doing next or what's going on, it it's really hard for them. They're they're not they're not just uh accessory hanging out in the car seat in the back seat. They are also human beings who want to know what their life looks like on a daily basis. So on that note, what does your life look like right now? Um, are you being more like Luke, where you're growing in life and you're learning maybe a new skill and you're trying to grow some confidence?

SPEAKER_03 37:34

Or are you being like Anakin, like you're struggling. You're struggling or justifying your bad decisions. You think that you're making a good decision, right? But what is that actually based on? And what does that make you feel inside? Because if there's any ick to it, then it's probably not the best decision.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

And where in life do you need a little more Yoda? The great thing about living for 800 and some odd years is that he had plenty of time to get things figured out. So when he had his like little one-liners, they're profound because and you know, even in the in the biggest chaos that we've seen Yoda face, he was always calm. And I part of that is, you know, we can make a lot of religious comparisons between the force um and religion also, but Yoda knew at his 800 and some odd age that going into a really intense battle, even if he lost that battle, he knew where he was going. And it was to become one with the force. But you know, we can always look at that and know that you know our future belongs with Jesus and our future is in heaven. And so we can face really scary battles in our life, knowing that even if the worst happens, where we're going to. But that's why I think Yoda was so calm in the chaos was that one, he's seen it all, been through it all, he knows he's gonna come out fine on the other end. But if he doesn't, for some reason, he knew exactly where he was going.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

So maybe the force isn't something out there, right? But it's something that we already have in here. And maybe the real question is are we using it? Listen. Listen, yeah. Maybe, and if you can't listen to your own body like me, yeah, listen to your friend.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Yeah, listen to your inner person. We've had this conversation before, the pebble, the stone, she waited till she got to the brick wall.

unknown 39:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 39:30

So, okay, I think that's it, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 39:33

Uh-huh.

unknown 39:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Okay. So we we hit it all. We've done all the things. If you want to share any comments, feel free to do that.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

And on this May 4th, we just hope that the May the 4th be with you all. And stay empowered. I was like, what? Where are we going? That was.