The Flying Monkey Podcast Ep. 11 - The Truth Always Comes to Light

Another parent shares their story of the Judicial Corruption parents face in the family courts, a child's desperate cry for help, and how the truth always comes to light.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You can now listen to episodes of the Flying Monkey Podcast anywhere podcasts are available. Like Apple Podcasts Spotify, Amazon Music, Radio, and more. You can also watch the video podcast on our YouTube and Rossi. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of the Flying Monkey Podcast. And today we have Angelica with us, and she's going to tell us her story and what she's learned and maybe even be able to help some of us with how to get through this all too. Because she's had many, many years, I believe you said 15 years of experience going through this. So it's a lot. I've been doing, I think I'm at eight now. So you're twice as long as my time. So but yeah, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

So why don't you just kind of maybe just start at the beginning, give us a little synopsis of you know what started it all and some of the background of your story, and then we can get into the rest from there.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

It's always a debate on how I want to start the story because I have a different situation than most people because a lot of you all either have been married to the person or you have been dating the person. And my situation was a little bit more drastic than that. However, going through the system and trying to protect your child is very much the same. So in dealing, so I won't get into the nitty-gritty of the relationship, but basically he didn't really have any rights to the child, even legally. The states originally, the state of Wisconsin did not acknowledge him as a father. But I moved out of state to Colorado, where Colorado says it doesn't matter what they've done in the past, they have a right to their child. So it started out with the court system and him filing for his rights to interact with the child. And this gentleman had a long history of violence, drug use, criminal activity, death of a child on his plate. Um, and so the first judge that we interacted with said, yep, this child should not be ever alone with this man. And they pretty much put him on a supervised visitation status. And I think he took maybe two of those visits and then he left. He left the state. And I felt pretty good about that. And they had ordered him to pay child support, and I didn't even care about that. I was just happy that he kind of walked away. Well, yeah, two about two years to the day of my daughter's birthday, he came knocking on my door with two police officers demanding his right to see the child after being gone for two years. Now she was three when I when the first order was put into place. So now she's hedging on five years old. So she didn't even know who he was. And uh he filed papers, he had a new woman in his life. He filed papers basically saying the child had failure to thrive, which then the Georgias kind of rubber stamped things in Colorado, and that kind of opened up the floodgates to many, many years in the court system. And so it was, it didn't matter that he had abused the child, it doesn't matter that he had a long history of domestic violence, it didn't matter that he was still actively using drugs, it didn't matter that he didn't even have a legal driver's license. He was still allowed to pick the child up in his vehicle. It didn't matter that he had warrants out for him. They ignored all of that, put a restraining order on him because he continued to show up at my work or my home. And that didn't matter. The courts just thought I was being difficult and brought up the police officer from Wisconsin, had even testified in court about the death of a child that was in his care, and they didn't care. They overlooked it all.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Yeah. And just to mention one thing, it's funny how good the courts are at doing what they do, which usually, and the more I investigate, the more people I talk to, they do the wrong thing almost all the time. And it's funny because you're a mom, I'm a dad, and then I've talked to, I mean, uh, the statistics show a lot of different different things. Like dads are always usually put out of the picture, and everyone I've talked to in Colorado that's a father has been put out of the picture, and yet in this situation, it's the complete opposite. And the end result, and that we're coming to the conclusion of is seeing is that a lot of times it's more of the abusive situation in which they're allowing the child to be put into or forced into, no matter who is the parent. And that's scary and frustrating. And yeah, my emotions are kicking in now. It's a heavy-duty stuff, it's really just amazing how we're they're supposed to be the responsible, honest, and ethical and honorable people to do what's right. And if someone's dangerous, okay, well, let's put them in a safe situation. You know, it's their kid, so maybe they can like the supervised visitations, something like that. That's when I think that's necessary. But they're just starting to do that for everybody all the time, no matter what. I just have to do it. And it awfully, I don't know, it's just all wrong.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

It is, and it's very frustrating because as the parent that wants to protect the child. And I state that understanding there are situations in which a parent caught creates chaos because they'd want to create chaos, but you have to be able to, the courts have to find a way that they can sort it out. And they hire people, like in my case, we ended up having a GAL and as well as an attorney for the child. And the GAL was just so for him. By the time that she got involved, he had moved with his new wife up to Oregon. And the same day that he had moved to Oregon, he filed papers borrowing me from leaving the state of Colorado, which the judge rubber stamped. And the same day he filed that and it was issued, he moved to Oregon and then wanted to maintain his visitations as work during that time frame because we're talking a span of many years. During that time frame, the child came back. He was flying her back. We were we had to afford the cost. We split the cost of her flying back and forth for weekends. And I didn't think that was a good idea for a child who now is in school and they were still allowing this. And they wouldn't change the visitation. And she had come back, she had marks around her neck and stated that her dad had choked her. And it was a friend of mine that actually was the one that had picked her up because I had something else going on. So I designated that person to pick her up. And she ended up going to the ER and she told the doctor what happened. Well, that initiated, you know, social services, and they did put him on a supervised visitation, but he fought it. And his attorney was amazing because she was like, I'm just the bitter ex. I didn't want him to have anything to do with the child. I am making up all of these things, you know, all of these allegations, even though there was tons of police reports to back up my story. There was evidence, even his own mother testified against him. And yeah, his own mother, yes. And so I had many, many statements that people had seen the abuse. I had police officers that had been involved for years that testified. And he ended up getting it thrown out that he didn't need supervised visitations after that. And it just got worse, went downhill. The GAL involved wanted to fly up to his place in Oregon to see his home. And then to read a report, it was almost like she was kind of engaged with him on a level that emotionally was not appropriate because she couldn't find any fault with him, regardless of the information that was provided to her. His psych evaluation came back showing that he struggled with biopolar disorder, he was antisocial, and there was something else that came up. And with you putting these combinations of mental illness with drug usage and violence, you kind of get a messy person that probably shouldn't be around any child. And his new wife testified for him on his behalf, which you see time and time again. And then it ended up, she was probably worse than he was when it came to abusing my daughter. So it just got out of hand. A friend of mine said, I got smart, I beat the court system. I had a good friend of mine that says, give him enough rope to hang himself. Not literally, but an expression. Yeah. So I said, okay, let's do a trial run. Let's let the child go up there for six months. Let's see how it goes. And about 60 days later, 60 days into this trial, I get a call from social services up there going, When can you come and pick your daughter up? We have arrested him. There was domestic violence happening in his home, his new home, with his wife and their children. He had taken off with my daughter. His wife couldn't keep the child from him. She ended up calling, she was eight at the time. She ended up calling 911 because he was trying to jump out of a hotel window. The state of Oregon got involved. Their first question was, How in the world did Colorado allow this man anywhere near children? And I was like, Well, that's a great question.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

And honestly, I mean, that's a funny question coming from them because they know damn well. And this is happening every day. I had someone the other day say, Well, you need to really understand these people. They deal with all this confrontation and conflict between parents every single day. And I'm like, okay, and so if you got to deal with fires every day because you're a fireman, it's a job you chose to do, you have to deal with it. And if you're not competent and capable of doing it and responsible enough, then you shouldn't be there. And so it's so it just it's all mixed up because there's so many good parents that are being treated badly, and they use these same examples of when it actually really happens to you, the abuse and these situations when it's really happening, they act as if it's it's no big deal. It's not you're just another one of those people we deal with every day. And I'm like from my experience too, exactly the same. It's like you gotta be kidding me. Here's actual proof that there's there's danger, there, there's abuse, there's something wrong here. It's observation. You don't need doctors, and you don't need uh mental health and and all this foo foo stuff. It's observable, it's there's a timeline, there's data, and you it's it's real science and real, it's it's inarguable, and they still blow you off and turn the tables on you, and just it's crazy. So, so now okay, so she went back to you now. So what what happened after that?

SPEAKER_03 11:16

So she ended up back in my custody, and at the time my husband and I were getting ready to move from Colorado to Indiana to be closer to family, and the father, biological father, came back again and filed for paperwork, going, nope, she her custody belongs with me, and the mother is all these things, and everything he accused me of were was things he had done or was doing, which I have learned is so typical. And I ended up getting an amazing attorney, small town attorney, that said, he can come here then and fight because where the child resides, the law provides. So he didn't want to, he had so much going on with his family there. The wife had kicked him out, but he had a mental breakdown, ended up in the hospital, which I think in the end was good for everyone, including him. Basically, my attorney said, No, we're not allowing you. He wanted to attend the court hearing via phone, and my attorney goes, No, we don't accept that. The judge ended up granting it, but basically, he was kind of forced into a position to give up his rights. My husband then adopted her. But it didn't stop after that, though, even after the adoption went through. The harassing, the stalking, the reaching out was constant. What I have taken away from it is you have to learn a lot about the law, and you have to learn how to utilize the law. When I back in Colorado, a ruling came down from the judge, and I felt like he hadn't read the paperwork, and I don't believe that they do. When they get someone else to do the work behind the scenes, they don't look at it.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

And I will admit, I got very upset to the point where I pretty much told the judge what I thought. He fined me $6,400. I said, I'm gonna pay it, and that's fine. You're still gonna hear what I have to say. And I kept moving forward. I don't recommend that everyone go out of your waiting. He only fined me $6,400. So I thought that was a pretty good deal, but because it could have been worse. I learned to advocate for myself, I learned to advocate for my daughter, and learned that even though your attorney may think that they're doing the right thing, they usually are not.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

So it's all connected into this big mess. It's all connected, it's all in cahoots with each other, and they just run you through the ringer and they're making money, and that's all they really care about. I was watching a video today, it showed judges, it was posted online. It was judges in a private conference on video call talking about the money they're making and how to hide it in different accounts and what they should do and how to basically launder the money. They're just moving the money around. And then one of them yelled out, we should call the account Cash for Kids. And I am not sure if that's the video that started the Cash for Kids comment and story, but it was amazing, and they're just sitting there, and you can see one or two guys are shaking their head, like, oh, this is not good, and they're still doing it. And the other ones were laughing, smiling, and explaining to the others how to do it, and it was just amazing. And and when you live this, so then you watch something like that, and you're like, Oh my god, this is real, this is really happening. These people are just making money, and they just pick a winner and a loser, and whoever they want to screw over, and they just go for it. And it's the kids that suffer, which means society suffers because we got all these problems today, and all this crazy thinking and all this baloney going on. And if you look at human history, we this is all new. It's 50, 60 years in the making, maybe a little bit longer in some things, but we're a mess because of this, because of the family courts and the connected entities where you have CPS and the minors' councils and uh psychologists, and all of them, they're all making money and inventing these things that aren't true and using certain tactics that just just kills the kids and then they screw up. And that's the other thing too that's more important is the kids they need both parents, they really do. And but when you have a situation and then that's what really screws it up because the lawyers teach a lot of these parents to do these things or say these things because they weren't doing it before, right? And there was no abuse before and you got to court, and all of a sudden there's all this chaos and all these accusations. And when they do that, they're doing that just to make money. And that's another video I saw with I think it was a judge was teaching a class of new lawyers on how to file uh you know abuse charges to get protective orders in order to help your divorce case and use it against the other party, whether it be true or not. And obviously, I've experienced that, but you know, and so then that when it really does happen, it's like calling like the boy who cried wolf. When you're crying wolf, they don't listen, they don't care, they don't believe it, or they do and they justn' blatantly just disregard it and disregard your evidence, which I've experienced, and uh almost everyone I've talked to has. So it's a mess.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

Yeah, I had actually kind of an odd experience with that is when all of this started, and this started back in 03, the legalities, and he claimed that I had been abusive towards him, and which was not the case. And that the police officers kind of looked at him and went, no way, you know, I'm like, I'm five foot, I am 90 some pounds, he's six foot, 180 pounds. And they're like, No, and I'm not saying them the men can't be abused, we know that they can be, but they were just kind of looking at him, going, something isn't adding up. Well, as I started to do my homework to put my own case together, is I discovered that not only did my attorney put a restraining order against him because he wouldn't leave her alone, the local DEA put a restraining order against him. He had called the hotline for abuse victims, domestic violence. He had called them saying he was being abused. And the lady on the phone recorded, because they record this, is literally saying to her supervisor on the back end that she can't believe this guy, that something is really wrong with him because the things he's saying, and she even knew it wasn't true. He kind of went down the road of it's it was everything was mutually abusive. You know, in Colorado loves mutual abuse because they don't find fault with anybody. So where were all where's all of his evidence? Where's all of his documentation? Where's all of his witnesses? He didn't have any. And uh, so I recommend that for anyone going through this. I kept a journal and I kept it locked up at my work. I had like a fake one in my home that he got into my home and destroyed.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Really?

SPEAKER_03 17:59

And then the look on his face when the original one came out was kind of priceless for me because I took copies of my birth certificate, driver's license, credit card. I locked them up at work.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

That's smart.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

Yep. I owe my mom a lot for that because not that my mom went through something like this, but she was always one to say document everything, keep a journal, protect your information like birth certificates and things like that. And so I owe her a lot on that. It was definitely a lesson learned there. And I it helped because in the end, when I went at the very end of all of this, I went to the judge and I legally changed my name because this person, no matter what, would not leave me alone. And so I went to the judge with that journal, and she was like, I had other evidence, and she goes, I don't need to read anymore. She was like, This is terrifying, the things that he had done. So, and then the abuse continued into his other family, and uh things fell apart there, yeah. And I feel that the course had the opportunity, had the course acted in the best interest of my child, that maybe his other children wouldn't have faced the consequences of that now.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

So well, no, exactly. And that's the that's the thing. They but see they got their little program and their system and their network set up with all these so-called experts and specialists, and again, investigating and watching more videos and stuff, the mental health stuff. And uh, who was it? Thomas Thomas Sawes wrote a book, The The Myth of Mental Health. And then I see another video of a psychologist saying this is all baloney, and talking to all the psychologists, and then you go through it and you're like, Well, even years ago, I remember going talking to someone, and as I I was a teenager, they said, Well, you're you're being bad, you need to go talk to someone. And I wasn't being that bad. And but I was like, What's this guy doing? He's not teaching me, he's not guiding me, he's not helping me. And then now, years later, as I'm learning about learning theory and behavior, and what that's what really needs to be addressed is the behavior. So instead of going to a closed room with someone who can listen, maybe help, maybe give some input, or take sides and destroy the other person because of their opinion, which it's all just an opinion, why aren't we finding trained behaviorists to say, okay, there's danger here. We know it, we see it, be honest, responsible adults, judges, please, and just say, okay, we got a situation here pretty messy, and what's best for the kid? We know that having two parents is is the best thing, and together is the best thing. But what has society done? They've destroyed us, separated us, divided us with men against women and women against men, and blah, blah, blah. And that just keeps the circle going. And so we shouldn't even have divorce, but you have situations where that happens, you know, and so here we are. If they would just say, okay, supervised visitations with a behaviorist, not a mental health person, someone who knows because you can change behavior because all behaviors learned, so it carries on through. Why? They say it's generational, but that's what you grew up with, right? You grew up in a rough situation where people screamed, yelled, hit, did bad things to other people, and that's all you know. So you imitate your atmospheres. There's that phrase there, imitate our atmospheres, it's just learn to behavior. And we could fix these people and help these people, and so they don't go on to hurt, like you said, he in his next family, he's doing the same thing again, you know, and it carries on. And it's he and she, it happens to everybody, so it it just and it can be stopped. Everything is so simple, but they just complicate it, and it's all about making money, I think. And keeping it well, because it makes them money. Because what happens when you have kids without parents? You know, they end up in jail, they end up on drugs, so they're in rehabs, there's you know, they're on medication, they're going to therapy, you know, they're in you know, all the they're

SPEAKER_03 22:00

all these entities making money off of it so they won't care it's I will say that you you touched on the on the phrase of generational you know right generational abuse the generational curse right those are keywords that we all kind of tune into right and I have learned for myself that number one is I was raised in that environment of girls are to be nice well being nice does not mean that you put up with abuse and I it's not just even women men are taught that too you have a group of men out there that are the protectors they they want to protect people they get taken advantage of they get abused so when we when we're nice as society wants to program us to be that really sets us up to be abused which then when we enter into that that triangle then what happens with our children if we don't become aware of it and and I was lucky enough that I I constantly it wasn't just one of my children that got affected I had children from another relationship that to this day are still very much affected by what happened the abuse they they witnessed and everything it's like don't be nice and I'm not advocating for people here don't be nice and they think oh be mean be violent that's not what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

What I'm saying don't be weak right don't be weak draw a bound for yourself is is maybe the better way to say it. Yeah I mean I get what you're saying but yes you need to stand up for yourself and and you have to have respect for yourself and love yourself enough to do so.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

And that's the trick I think I've I've told my daughter now because she's in that in the age of of relationships now and it's like you know what if you're in this relationship and you find we have seven days in a week if you're unhappy three of those days it's time to consider leaving this relationship life is too short and there are too many red flags.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

So learn but not every day is peaches and cream either so I mean no but I mean you have to put some serious definitions on on what because some people say I'm not happy anymore on leaving this relationship but you've created kids and you've made a commitment and give your word to another person to have a family and stay together. And that's just like our generation with in America now we've been taught that since the 70s to throw it out and get a new one. And that's but what there's a fine line because when someone's being mean nasty hurtful and abusive to you not just saying that they are because they talk back to you that's not abuse but literally doing the wrong things and not treating you well that's the that's the deal that's the line you don't cross and you stand up for yourself. When someone argues like where we're going for dinner or why it always has to be this way that people need to learn that you have to talk and you have to compromise and you have to so sometimes our messages might get confused to the kids because they don't know any better but today everyone's so everybody's so messed up this young generation they don't have any guidance they grew up in divorced families they grew up with all the the indoctrination on TV and all this stuff because when we were younger we were watching Happy Days and Little House on the prairie and there's a zillion shows but everybody was married and those couples fought and had trouble but they worked it out they stuck it out they worked together and and that's how we are still alive as humans on this planet today because people did that whether they like today or not or this situation but that's why it's important to go through the steps of a relationship become friends first. Absolutely know their background you're better off marrying someone whose parents are still married. And we feel sorry for people we want to help them or change them or make them better or guys want to be the knight in shiny armor whether they even understand what that means or not they want to protect and we'll fix it because that's what we do and we'll make it better and why wouldn't you want to be with me I'm not a drug it's all this behavior that they've learned before that's just hidden down there deep and you don't you never know and they always say why did you pick someone like that? Well you gotta be kidding me we really you can never ever really know and these situations we get ourselves into just by accident is just I mean it's sad. And the people we trust to protect us and to do what's right for the kids for us they don't they don't they're the wrong people in those positions.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

They really are they are I think it's really important that people that have come through this on the other side advocate and help others that are going through it because you can really start to understand that no one is on your side the judge is not on your side your attorney may not be on your side all those professionals you know the experts I'm sorry but if they call themselves an expert and they they only have the degree on their wall but they haven't walked the walk they're not experts.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Yeah you're right I know adults that don't even have children are telling you how to handle your children. Yeah. Where where did you learn that?

SPEAKER_03 27:02

In my case I had a woman that was a self-proclaimed narcissist. Yeah and she was part of the case and I'm like how can someone that claims to be this and maybe she was but how can you then act in someone's best interest when we know that someone that has narcissism cannot think in anyone's best interest but their own.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Yeah. So well it's funny it's funny that word we never used to use that word. No until the last what till the like all the psycho stuff that's happened the last five or six years is when I've noticed it I'm like you gotta be kidding me but that's what society like I mentioned earlier society's taught us to throw it away by a new one. Yeah the social media or and I hate that word too because that's I wouldn't get into that but me me me pick look at me look at me look at me and that's created that and it puts everyone into that definition somewhat some way of that word and it's so frustrating and but does someone to say that they are that which is supposed to be now very a bad a bad description of a bad person you know yeah it just doesn't make any sense you know I guess I'll end it with this is you know I knew this person for 23 years.

SPEAKER_03 28:09

The behavior shocked me day by day the situation was way different than most people I certainly learned a lot I learned more about law than I needed to and I learned how to stand up for myself and advocate pretty strongly for my children. And to anyone out there that hears this you will come through it. The truth always comes to light it may not seem like it in the middle while you're going through it but hold on because your your children may even kind of move away from you especially if they're if they're taking in what the other parent is saying they eventually will see the truth and they always come back and they will always love you.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Yeah that's good good advice and hopeful and helpful it really is is there is there anything that you learned on because you know we can't sleep sometimes can't focus sometimes you know it's just I mean and that's not even describing the the horrible trauma that we go through and through this but is there anything that you learned that would help you know I don't know the anxiety the stress the fear the frustration the sleepless nights crying all these things I mean is there something that you learned how to deal with or how to heal a little bit through some way or another to that might be helpful to others to to give it a shot I hope so I started out very much like screaming into a pillow because you have all of those emotions that you don't know what to do with and you've got to get them out or you're just gonna implode right but I learned to breathe number one learn to breathe breath work is a very real thing if you can learn to breathe if you can learn I did checklists this is what I got to do today I have to eat I have to do these things the basic things you think just naturally right sometimes you have to when you're going through this make a checklist go and remember tomorrow's a new day get out get the sunshine comedy embrace comedy because that's a big one if you can laugh you're gonna find yourself crying you're gonna let loose of all those emotions and then exercise I can't even stress the importance of exercise because lesson learned I got really physically sick from all of the stress and to the point where my body hurt every even putting clothes on hurt and that was my body going something is we're overloaded we got to do this.

SPEAKER_03 30:48

So the running sometimes I run sometimes I walk I got into kickboxing just yeah I found and kept looking for things eating nutritiously if you can't do that take your vitamins because your body really gets not just your mind not just your soul your body gets really beat up and you may go some through something for one day and your body's gonna take a week to get through it. And I wrote I kept a journal I wrote short stories about oh my my revenge so anything that's that that's actually therapeutic. It is it is very much so and just finding those outlets to get all of that junk that's inside of you out without causing and creating more harm or chaos for other people yeah exactly exactly yeah and yeah so that that's great the checklist because I noticed that just being overwhelmed with work and life before whenever I made a checklist I got it done check it off.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

And the other thing is they want to talk about depression distraction and activity will change depression. You don't need medication so that's my two cents but it does work and I know it to be true because when it really hit me hard and the stuff that you've just you went through I a lot of it was the same for me. When I was given a distraction and a hobby or something creative or something to get done you get into it and it just takes you get through the day and you know it doesn't mean it's not going to go away and the problem's still not there.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

You have it takes time and like you said you get through this you will you know so yeah there's a lot of truth in 10% is the problem 90% is how you face it Flying Monkey Podcast like follow and subscribe to our social media sites on Facebook, X, YouTube, Rumble, TikTok, and Truth Social. You can also go straight to our webpage at www.flyingmonkeypodcast dot com.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Have you been victimized by family court? Are you suffering parental alienation? It's child abuse and it's domestic violence by proxy. I use duck drowning and illegal and mental health bills to get off the treadmill and get the trap with over 10 years of research thousands of parenting case studies worldwide we have developed a system that works to help you get your kids back join the movement now open darkness.info stop the abuse dotin alienateacademy.com and fly multipodcast.com It's time for change it's time to stop the abuse go to tinyurl.com slash stop rental alienated