The Healing Power of Being Heard

In this episode, we explore something deceptively simple yet profoundly healing: the power of sharing our inner world with trusted people.

Not everyone is a verbal processor. For some of us, talking through our feelings comes naturally. For others, opening up can feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, or nearly impossible. But connection doesn’t have to look the same for everyone.

We discuss how healing often happens not because someone fixes our problems, but because they witness them. Whether it's a deep conversation with a trusted friend, a quick phone call, or even a simple text that says, "I'm upset and I just need someone to hear this," reaching out can help us feel less alone in what we're carrying.

Together, we'll explore different ways to connect when life feels heavy, why being heard matters so much, and how small moments of authentic connection can create powerful shifts in our emotional well-being.

If you've ever struggled to ask for support—or wondered whether your reaching out really matters—this conversation is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hello everyone. Good to see you, Marty. Welcome back. We noticed we are matching today, not on purpose. We nudged each other this morning. Funny, funny. So today, everyone, we are going to talk about I would call them trauma responses. And what they are. And so to name a few would be isolation, would be overwhelm, sometimes depression, like complete shutdown, sometimes spiraling, and like the Tasmanian devil. Some people will, and some people named Marty will spiral, other people shut down and close off. So we're going to discuss to today the different ways that we have seen that. And then also with clients and how important it is to be aware of your pattern of when you get overwhelmed or triggered. What is the pattern? So you can recognize that. And then our conversation today will be a lot about okay, then what? So, Marty, welcome to the podcast again.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

So good to us, Chrissy. Always awesome to be here with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

So let's just jump right in.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Yeah. Well, I love we've talked about this idea of there's a term, it comes from the boat book What Happened to You by Dr. Bruce Perry and it's Oprah, and it's and it's called dosing.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

So it's this idea that you talk to your friend and it's its own therapy. And that's why, you know, I mean, and also I do think it depends because different people have different ways. Like I know people that go very internal and they can't talk to anyone. I'm a verbal processor. Um, and I I have to, it's like I go, I have to talk about it, or I'll pop. And and I'm definitely a spiraler, a spinner. And um, you know, I've always said I've not been one that's dealt with depression much, but I rock the anxiety, rock it. And um, and I noticed like I process through through talking. So, you know, when I have those trusted friends that I can talk to, and you're just pinging back and forth, and then you can ultimately even laugh, end up laughing about the hard stuff. That's magic to me. Um, it's just magic. And I think enough cannot be said. And again, you can't force someone to be a talker if that's not their thing. But I have a family member in my life who's typically very internal, and then all of a sudden it's like when she opens up about stuff, it's like, who put a quarter in you? And then she's just verbally processing all the way. It's it's quite quite hilarious in in the best possible way, just like you know, talking, talking, talking. But it's like the air gets let out of the balloon, and you start to regulate more too.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Yeah, and I I was just thinking in different ways. I tend to isolate, however, and when I because we're talking about reaching out to someone, that's when I will start becoming a verbal processor. And one of my dear friends will say, slow down, because the nervous system wants to amp up and get moving really, really fast and talking really fast. And we're talking today about inviting another human being into this moment, this trauma response. Because if we don't, there's a few things that happen. Brene Brown's probably one of the best researchers on shame. And when something happens, if it isn't brought into the light, like with a conversation with another human being, it's very easy for it to mushroom into shame or guilt. And then it all of the self-talk in the head starts to happen. And you can easily get swallowed by your own emotions so fast and not even know what hit you. Oh, a hundred percent. And it's so nice to have one person. Some people think you need many. I say, and Brene Brown too. This is where it comes from. You need one person. And sometimes it's even just a text of I'm not okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah. Yeah. I have a friend that we verbal process, and we're both Gemini's in our own way, and we're both like, you know, like it's just like out to see, and we're talking, but it works because we understand each other, get each other, and like I said, we can laugh about the hard stuff, and it's so nice to bring that lightness to it. And we were talking before this podcast started, and I wrote an email to my list about it, about you know, my birthday, and which is also my wedding anniversary, which was June 1st. And I don't, I'm not one that expects presents or get you know anything like that, but I'd prefer that it not be like anxiety ridden that day. I mean, I can have a preference, but that particular day, I don't remember having a day that I'm just gonna use the term bad. I can't remember the last time. And you talk about the spiraling, and I mean it was all day into the evening, it would like into the wee hours of the morning, and kept trying to regulate, kept trying to regulate. I even had a tapping session uh for myself, so it's so funny on my birthday. I'm like, happy birthday to me. I'm doing a tapping session for myself, but it was really illuminating because what I realized happened is old trauma that needed to come up got triggered about my past, about being bullied as a kid. And this specific memory came up that was really important, and tapping through that, I just had the realization of like, oh my god, that's what happened. So, what helped about all that, even though that day sucked hugely in one way, it also was incredibly healing in another. And um, but you know, it was I I mean, and I was spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, and then trying to regulate, spiraling, you know, and then I'd get some footing, and then something else would happen. And it was, it was just it was phenomenal how like that kept happening. Uh, but absolutely for me, having that session really illuminated a lot for me. And once I had a better understanding of like the time traveling that I was doing and how I was going back into the past, and this past part of me got triggered to I haven't had something from my past like that trigger me in quite a while. Um, so I was like, if that you know, you have the perspective afterwards, you're like, well, that needed to happen.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Because I have a completely different, you know, I've got the cognitive shift. I have a very different perspective about it now. And it's interesting that my behavior is different since then. In what way? I'm more it's better. It's more meaning. Um I've I've always had like a spunky personality, but I learned to suppress and be quiet. But even more now, I'm learning how to have boundaries, but um doesn't necessarily mean I have to have a lot of aggression about them, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Well, it does because if we talk about warrior, we've we've had archetype conversations in the past, and I I would link that specifically to your because your warrior archetype is your primary archetype. Oh god, yeah. People would describe you as that. Oh yeah. And when we look at light and shadow of an archetype, there's wisdom in the middle. Yes, right. And so you've had in your younger years and stories that you've told, that warrior shows up and you know, can beat the shit out of someone because it's a reaction to what's happening and it's instantaneous. And then what I just heard too is you're noticing that that's shifted, which is creating that wisdom within the architecture of you, warrior, that you're it's not set in stone that that's how you always react, because there's been healing and awareness brought to the pattern of reaction.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, it's true, and that's I mean, and I it's funny this just popped in my head for whatever this is worth. I I think about, you know, like both my daughters and then even my granddaughter now, and there's another granddaughter on the way, and I think, oh, the warrior in me would not be kind if someone after like went after any of them, and I'm like, you know, that I'm not gonna be like I can totally be um direct about things like that and empowered, but there's a line that if it gets crossed, it's like, okay, the armor goes on and the sword comes out and let's go, you know. Um, but it is it is just in day-to-day life. It's like, you know, it doesn't have to be a fight about this, it just doesn't have to be a fight, and I've noticed that since then, where things you know can start to get with whoever it is, and it's like I don't need to go there with this that way. I just need to like take a step back, regroup. And and just since then, I've been able to do that better.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

And it's a practice.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

Oh, yeah, because that day, like I always joke with you know clients, and sometimes when people like, oh my god, this part always just cracks me up. Chrissy, I know you know me well enough to have this crack you up too, and they're like, You just handle everything with such grace and ease. And I'm like, No, I don't, and that's when I always joke. If you followed me around my house with a video camera, there would be days you'd go, she tats with people.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Yeah, because human to the human day, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

I mean, I was off the rails, off the rails, and that's been another part of it is I can think about that. I could go back to that, I can float back to my behavior at different times when that kid got that anxiety-ridden kid got triggered. I was like, oh my god, oh my god, like that. I haven't felt that in a long time. And instead of when I I used to think of that part of me in utter disgust, it's like, no, that part was has been so wounded. And I feel genuine compassion and love and acceptance. And that's also what helped create the cognitive shift was to be like, you're okay, little girl, doing the best you can. But it it's that having the session, being able to talk through it, process it verbally, you know, get that insight from someone else who's more objective. It it's just so there's so much that's so healing about that. You know, it takes so much of the charge out. It does. It does. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

I'm curious, Marty, because it's a good example of because we have the the mental spinning that happened, the spiraling, and always, always, always, the somatic aspects of what's happening here happen here in our bodies. Sometimes people can feel it, sometimes people feel nothing, which is also a reaction.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Yeah, absolutely. What did you notice for you with that? Oh, the tightness in my chest, the tightness in my throat, the you know, that almost like heart fluttering, the like, you know, that and and I went from let's see, fear to piss, then back to like terror. I mean, I I think I covered the gamut that day. It was like over the river through the woods to whoever's house we went. And I mean, it just depended. And you know, and I like I said, at one point when I I I saw myself uh I would say fawning, like trying to appease the situation, not let it escalate, like la la la la la.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

And then I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna slow you down. How did you notice that? How did you notice how fawning showed up for you?

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Because I noticed that the anxiety that I started to feel and like the tightness in my chest and the turning in my stomach, and like I felt I was very aware that I felt very young. Like it was sort of like an out-of-body experience. Like I could intellectually know those things, but could I change the behavior in the moment? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I I had an awareness, which I know is a massive step. It's like watching yourself do these behaviors. You can't change it or stop it, but you're like, I was so cognizant the entire day of where I was at with stuff, and and just like what here I go, watch her, there she goes, she's gonna act this way. And then I remember when I got really pissed, and I'm slamming stuff around in the garage. I'm like, and and I'm just watching myself and yet like just observing it and you know, noticing, and then I'd go sit and tap and then do some breathing, and then you know, something else would happen. I'd get a phone call, or someone else would, you know, have some quote demand of me via the phone. And of course, I picked the phone up, you know, and just watching it. Um it was it was wild, just wild what happened. And you know, even like people coming to my door, delivery people, and I'm like, what do you need now to like it was insane, yeah. And and yet, um, yeah, it's my mine typically is like uh throat tightness in the chest, stomach, you know. Sometimes I noticed the next morning, actually, after the dust started to settle, like my neck and my shoulders were just like oh, I bet they were. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Like those kind of things take a huge toll in just if people aren't aware I the in somatic work, our soft tissue, our muscles, everything that's contracting is our emotional response to what is happening. Yeah. And to begin to notice maybe not on the the biggest trigger, because sometimes we can't notice, but on little things when you get irritated or um feel like a boundary's been crossed. I really invite you to notice, and it's as easy as closing your eyes and asking body, where am I feeling that?

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

And your body, the more you do it, the easier it will be to trust the first thing that comes. And I don't care if it's I feel it in my big toe. Great. You bring awareness to that because the pattern in the past, and especially um growing up, everyone has different experiences. Like you said, what happened to you is the beautiful question. And we don't know where it lands, right? So it could land in a big toe, not knowing, and that big toe has a meridian that goes right to the brain. And so as you ask your body, you're asking this intelligence, where is that sitting in me? We bring awareness to that and literally breathe into, we'll use the big toe for an example, and slow down with your breath. Because what it will do is bring you out of your head and into your body. And next time there's an activation, most often it goes in the same place. Yeah, it's so true. Yeah. Until it shifts. But it does, that's the pattern because our our bodies are a map of our life. Yeah. And the soft tissue, and we'll see it in faces like two lines here. We'll see it in, you know, the hips being pulled in or the jaw being clenched. Because my guess is you probably cleansed your jaw too. Right? Because everything gets contracted. Yeah. And some people will go into the absolute opposite reaction of what you just had, Marty. Which sometimes called is called flop, like everything just shuts down and nothing's working.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

I know I I don't know that I I well, I shouldn't say I've never shut down, but it's not it's not typical for me. It's yeah, there's the thing I love. Yeah, right. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense at each other. Archetypal that way too. Yeah, yeah. And that's why I love psychosomatics too, Christy, because like even in tapping sessions with someone, there's a thing, like if when we talk to someone and they're like, What are you feeling? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Often the the gist of that can be that something happened before you had words. So it's before you had a vocabulary for it. So clearly you were quite young. And that's and then when you go, hey, take a breath, close your eyes, go into the body, and where do you feel that that's an entryway, even in the tapping world, which is the the body is, you know, the body keeps the score, the body, you know, knows it all. It's in I have yet to have someone when I've had to do that enter through the body that they're not like, well, I feel this tightness here. Yeah, and that's the beauty of that. And then eventually, all the sudden emotions can come up. I had a session with a client earlier today, and there was just tons of anxiety and stuff going on, and then all of a sudden, she just said this statement and burst into tears, and it was like, Oh, there it is. That's what's really going on here. Yeah, and it was just the floodgates opened, and it was it was a release for sure, and there's more obviously it's the tip of the iceberg, so there's you know, more to un unpack there, but it was like, there it is, there's the truth. That's what's really happening here.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

It's finding the route to the belief that went in, and sometimes the belief is that, especially with children, that I'm not there's not enough time for me, there's not enough love to me for me, there's not enough blank. And the body does hold the memory, and it's a matter of finding the language or even the attack the awareness around what's the emotion I feel. Even if there's a nothing, there's I would still call that an emotion.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Interesting, yeah. Oh, absolutely. It's so funny, Chrissy. I looked up the psychosomatics, and I'm not gonna bring a name in here, but it's a very public figure. And I looked up the psychosomatics of the physical thing that they're going through, and I looked it in the healing questions guide, and the last sentence I was like, Whoa, there it is. Yeah, and it was it's it's it just never ceases to amaze me, and yet still's like, whoa, you know, that you're like, There it is. Even if you like you watch movies and stuff, I find this is fascinating, and somebody's having a physical ailment. You look it up and you're like, Oh my god, that fits the character. It's wild how that works.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Well, that a lot of that information was, I mean, it was written a long time ago. The m I think the more research that we're having and the connections with our energetics is better than it's ever been. Oh god, yeah. And it is almost 100% accurate. It's it's great, yeah. When you look it up, there's always a little tiny piece that matches.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Yeah, absolutely. They're they're like, Yep. And sometimes if I'm working with a client, I read out, they're like, Oh, that's all true.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

And then you you choose, you choose one of those pieces, yeah, and then it's great roadmap for tapping. And um, yeah, and like, you know, back to like for me as a verbal processor. I mean, Christy, you and I have called each other at times, just to like bounce it off each other. And then you're like, I mean, to me, I just notice the difference. You're just like, oh, okay. You get a better perspective, and it's you're not alone in it. And there's all these ways, you know, that really can help us heal.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

And it's just it's it's there's so many, and being with another human being, chat GPT is helpful, let me just say, because I know a lot of people use chat, I love chat too. It does not replace another human witnessing you and holding space with you. No, no, because it's still isolation to some level, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah, and I think someone we even talk about that, you know, in like as a practitioner, and in the tapping world, it was always, and I think this is true of any field in the healing profession. You have no idea how much just being present for someone and witnessing them is such a part of healing. And it's so true. And I often say it this way: the witnessing without the judgment, without the like, you know, all that stuff, even like not trying to fix it, because that's what I love about tapping. It just sort of fixes itself because you're like, just speak your truth and tap. Yeah, whatever that truth is, it doesn't have to sound pretty, look pretty, be appropriate, anything. In fact, you're encouraged it not to be. And and that's the beauty of that is then somebody gets witnessed for what they need to say. I mean, I I can't say enough about it, you know. So it's so helpful.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

Yeah. Yeah. Removes. I think of Brene Brown, the shame, I think she calls them the shame gremlins. Oh, I love that. And because they come up and we I think all of us have them. No one's oh god, yeah. But they come up, and that's when I think we need someone to reach, you know, to ask, hey, I need uh a hand. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

I love that visual of a gremlin too, because then it actually cracks me up because then it it's not. I think, don't you realize I can drop kick you across the room?

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Good example, Marty. Yes, and say that's not true or that's enough.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Yeah, punt, you're gonna be my football. I'm about to punt you across the room, and it just makes it less, it makes it funnier, you know.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Well, yes, because it's not you, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

You're like, and I I noticed that, you know, that uh you know, I've often called that the bully in the brain, but I love the gremlin image because it is this thing, and when you recognize it, and so good to have that kind of visual, you recognize it, and you're just like, Really? You're that thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

And then you brought in the perspective too. Like when I hear that, it's the adult perspective to the little child. Yeah, honey, that's just a gremlin, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

And that also puts it in a different perspective, it really does, and letting that little kid know you're okay, baby. You're allowed to feel the way you do like you give to that child what they probably never got. And that's like it's okay, it's okay to you're okay to feel that way. It's okay, it's okay. Oh my god, Christy. This is an interesting thing. The other day it popped in my head to have my husband and I. I go, dude, we need to write each other's obituaries, like now. Oh, that's interesting, Marty. And let me tell you, it was fascinating because you get the perspective of how they see you. And it was, you know, and it it's like all the things that you're like, whoa, what like that's a way that they see me that you may not always hear, and vice versa. So we read them to each other, and I got actually quite emotional at parts when I was reading the one that I wrote about my husband to him, and then he's reading things to me, and he's like, Wow, you know, it was just it was just quite profound, but it's that thing that it there were no gremlins there. This was yeah, this is a complex human, but that's where it ends. And it was it was just such a wild perspective. And I'm like, I thought, I always say this about houses. People always do stuff to their house to sell it that they probably should have done the whole time they were living there. So when I popped in my head, I'm like, this is a good thing to do here and there is write each other's obits, and then just because it's we do that at the end of life and say all this stuff about them, and why not do it while the person's alive? But it was it's really interesting how neither of us had a single, you know, because we have stuff with each other, you know, we're but the gremlins weren't there, it was just more like whoa, and it was really nice to hear how your partner sees you in this other way.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

That's a great exercise.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

It was so good.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

We're gonna do it again. It's great. I'll do it and share because that's a beautiful exercise, too. It's so nice to hear why you're loved. It is, it was and appreciated.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Yeah, it was it was just and that might sound morbid to people or ever. I'm like, no, this is amazing. Yeah, when I was reading what I wrote about my husband to him, I mean, he's like, Wow, whoa, you know, it was yeah, it was really, really good for both of us to do it. I love that, and it will continue.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Well, it's a beautiful exercise, yeah. It reminds me of um like the summer solstice is coming up again, yes, this weekend. And one of the things that we've done since our kids were little is we have a fire and then we go around the circle, and that's what we do is what do you love and appreciate about each person? And there's nothing more heartfelt than hearing all of it, yeah, and it's such a beautiful connection of reminder that these people that are in our lives, we love them or they wouldn't be in our lives, yeah. And it's also good for expression, you know. I say more for my boys because they're boys, in that that becomes normalized, yeah, yeah. In in that context, time and place, right to bring that in to be heard and to be witnessed, yeah. Just yeah, beautiful. And I will try the obituary one. That's a great idea.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Yeah, I and I love your solstice exercise that you guys do every year. That's I love it.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Make it fun, it's easy, and yeah, summertime is here and enjoying the right all the light and this, you know, the different aspects about who we are, and just enjoy that. Yeah, absolutely. So let's do a little tapping then, Marty.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I'm thinking about, you know, it's so funny. I think I like phone a friend.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

I think a friend.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So all right, let's just I'll just go with whatever's coming karate chat. Even though there's so many times, I think I need to go it alone. What if that doesn't have to be true? Even though there's so many times, I feel like I have to hide my truth. What if the truth can really set me free with the right person? I choose to honor my feelings now. What if I could have a do tell, don't tell list? These people I can totally talk to. These people, not so much. I deeply and profoundly accept myself now. Go to the eyebrow. Phone a friend. Talk to that trusted person. What if that can help me make a shift? Help me get a different perspective. Help me to see this differently. What if we're meant to be interdependent? Not codependent, not the lone wolf, like communally oriented, helping each other through. And when I'm struggling, if I'm having a hard time. Right now I just need to regulate myself more. So that a shift can come more naturally. And what if those trusted people in my life? The really trusted ones that can accept me exactly as I am in this moment. What if that's a powerful place to heal? And help me get to the other side. To see things in a new way.

unknown 32:58

Take a breath.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

And I would invite you, uh listening to put one hand on your heart and one on your belly. And really give gratitude for this amazing nervous system, this amazing body. Saying thank you, and I'm listening. And doing my best to listen without judgment. Without those gremlins coming in. And to notice your breath in that. So it's not a mental exercise. It's literally feeling the body coming out of the head, even moving back and forth in your chair, feeling the weight of your body brings us out of the mind and out of the looping and back into a state of awareness. And the more that we can make friends with this amazing intelligence, our body, and our mind, both are important, the reciprocity that we receive is so beautiful and big. And often as children, not bashing on parents, often as children, parents have a life outside of parenting. And children make it that they're bad or that they're not worth seeing or hearing. And this is your adulting self that I see you, I recognize you, I'm grateful for yourself and body. And that is a practice, I believe, till we leave the planet. I don't think there's an arrival point. I believe it's a practice, just like you said, it hadn't been for it's been a long time, and it still spun you fast. Oh, but your your ability to step out of that, Marty, was the time was not a year, it was a few days.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Yeah, absolutely. It was huge, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

And that in and of itself is reclaiming our sovereignty and our power back, is the question, how long am I going to stay in that? But that also required you to nurture self, to have a friend tap with you, and then the nervous system settled. That is how it works. And and what is to ask yourself before you have a trigger again, because we all will, what's a resource that I have?

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

And is there one human that I could even text? Because some people don't like to process verbally. Absolutely. I'll have clients say, I encourage them to have one person that you preset this up with and say, Can I text you if I'm upset and just let you know I'm upset, that I'm okay? But it it moves you out of being isolated and being alone.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

It's literally, Chrissy, like that meditation technique, mental noting, where you're just stating it, you know, anxiety, anxious, anxious, sad, sad, heartbroken. You just name it, yeah. And there's something so powerful in just naming it.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

Yes. Well, it takes it takes the power out of it, yeah, right, a charge out of it, yeah, yeah. And I love the gremlins. Less judgmental, right? Gremlins are really yeah. Sometimes I'll see when I work with people, I'll see different images, and often what I'll see is like there's a troll. The person wants to cross this bridge, and they're walking, walking, walking, and there's a troll. Brene Brown calls them gremlin, but there's a troll waiting for you to pay the toll before you can cross the bridge. And usually that toll is a boundary and/or an awareness around a behavior. And then you can walk across this new bridge, and that's what you did with your tapping, those bridge statements of what if, what if I could walk across the bridge and realize that the troll has been there to protect me and that the troll doesn't own the bridge. Yeah, yeah. Awesome. So thanks for sharing your birthday. Happy birthday, not happy birthday, birthday with us.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

I love that. That was like rolled right off. Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

Oh, all right, Marty. Love you and love you. See you next time. See everyone again next time.