dealing with pressure

how you can deal with pressure in a new perhaps better way 

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Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to Wild Already, where we are on the path to discovering our wildest self, and I'm here to help you discover your highest potential. I hope you enjoy today's episode. Let me tell you how I started to deal with pressure. Now, pressure can be a privilege if we see it as such. And I absolutely love the quote: um, pressure is a privilege because um, in a sense, that you get to experience something that will level you up, okay? Because a lot of time we experience pressure as something that is like not something we desire, because if we're under pressure, it's like it's a lot of things are normally at stake. But if we think about the times we feel under pressure, is it really something that's like life or death situation? Because a lot of times our fight or flight system kicks in because that's just how we humans are wired, because fight or flight is like the thing that kept us alive for millions of years, so we have a fight or flight, it's pretty well developed because otherwise we wouldn't even be here. So the question we have to ask ourselves is when we feel pressure in the sense of it's life or death for us, is it really a life or death question? Because a lot of times our um brain like flips off and just is like okay, now it's dangerous, we have to go fight or flight. But if we can kind of force ourselves to think, okay, start switching your brain on again and be like, okay, is it a life or death situation? Is me running into this person that I actually don't want to talk about anything about a life or death situation? No. Is me in this competition and even if I do well or if I do very badly, like fall off on my ass or something like that, is it a life or death situation? No. So why do we have this immense pressure that we put on ourselves, especially in situations that are not life or death, because we want something out of life, because we are ambitious people and we want more out of life than we have right now, and that is a good thing because otherwise we would all be sitting on our ass, and the human human race just wouldn't evolve in any direction. So feeling pressure is a sign that you're ambitious and that you want more out of life, and that is a great thing because we want more out of life, because everyone should like be happy where they are and stuff like that, but we should also see the potential that we have and strive towards it, because I'm absolutely not a fan of the spiritual idea of just like be content where you are and don't move forward. I think that is like a little bit of a brainwashy thing from people that don't have a best interest at heart. Because why would you not be happy, healthy, and content where you are and strive towards embodying your higher self and achieving all the goals in your head that you are like, I would like that. You know, it's not a I must get it, I have to get it, otherwise I'm trash. That's not the thing I'm talking about. I'm talking about a sense of worthiness from within and a sense of huh, I think it would be interesting to get that. I'm sure I could get that, I'm gonna get that. That's the kind of thing that we want. Okay, we want to feel completely worthy and whole from within, but then externally also strive to get those things. For example, right now I'm seeing all over the place people trading for an Iron Man, and an Iron Man is like crazy crazy. They have to swim like forever, then they have to bike up down everywhere, and then they have to finish with a whole marathon. So those people are like crazy crazy fit. And I'm nowhere near that, but I've been thinking, huh, an Iron Man, that sounds like such a challenge, so interesting. And let me tell you one thing about pressure, it also gets your places because if you don't feel any pressure to get anywhere, you're just lounging around all the time. So, in theory, if you and I were to sign up for an Iron Man in a year, and we train our asses off and we try to get um to finish the race because apparently I didn't know that, maybe you did, and if you don't stop and finish each like swim, run, race uh um and bike within a certain time, you get pulled out of the race. I thought it was like an endurance race where if you don't quit and take three days to do it, you can still finish it, but no, there's like a cutoff time, so even more pressure on that iron man part. But if we were to sign up and if we put ourselves under the pressure of training for an Iron Man, the two of us, you know, then we would get so much further in our um fitness journey with a training for a triathlon than if we were to just be like, Yeah, we're gonna like train for it, let's just do it, let's let's train for it, okay. Yeah, let's train for it. Well, if I were to say, Yeah, let's train for it, I don't even own a racing bike, like I have a bike, a mountain bike that's been sitting in my garage for like five years now. Um, I I'm sure it has flat tires, I'm not even sure it would work anymore. So if I were to be like, Yeah, let's just train for it, I would maybe go and run for like once a month, and then would that would be it. But if I had the pressure of no, on this day I have to swim two something kilometers, I have to bike like I don't know, 70, 100, something like that, like a crazy amount, like something I've never biked before, and run a marathon, I I can't even run five kilometers without being like completely wasted. So that is not as realistic. But if we were to not put ourselves under the pressure, and even if on race day after the swim we would get pulled out, we would have gone so much further than just training a little bit. So the pressure is also helping you because it'll help you strive to get to your goal faster, quicker, and better. Because without the pressure, we wouldn't do anything. Okay, so um there's very little people in life that have the internal motivation to do things just because, and that's a great place to be. But for us mere mortals, we sometimes need the pressure to get our ass moving. Even I sometimes need the pressure to get my ass moving sometimes all the time, all the time I need it. But that's just so normal and so human. So I don't want you to feel horrible for like feeling pressure about something, because pressure can be a privilege if we use it as such. It can be horrible if we hate it, and it can be a uh helping hand when we need it. So, um, pressure is also a sign that you're outside of your comfort zone and expanding it, which is great because the only way to expand your comfort zone is to get out of it, and we oftentimes feel pressure because of it. And you know, some people say, No, I don't want pressure, I've had enough pressure on my life. True, true, I totally see that. But if we were to take all the pressure away in your life, even the positive one that helps you like get better at stuff, even if it's just um you wanting to be better at your next Pilates class, which is something that I think is a great pressure to have, because you want to be better than the you you were before, and then we want to get to the place that even if you aren't better the next time, you just see how it is still perfect and how you still love that you went and how you still did something for your body. That's like the mindset shift that I would love for everyone to have because even if we don't achieve the goal that we put pressure on the first try, if we keep on going, we are gonna achieve it. If we were to sign up for an Iron Man and train like a year for it and get pulled out of the water and be like, You're too slow, see you again, and we are like, Oh yeah, we will see each other again, and we train another year and we do it again, and maybe this time we get pulled out by the biking station, and they're like, You were too slow on the bike, and then we're gonna be like, Okay, we will see each other again next year. And we think if we keep on going that, if that's like our um hobby and our thing that we are like on the side doing all the time, I can guarantee you we will get better at it. So we can apply this to everything in our life. So as long as we don't quit, we're gonna get better at it, and pressure helps us get to a higher level faster. And then the disappointing part is if we don't achieve the outset goal that we have in mind, but if we keep on going, we will achieve it eventually, okay? Like in my uni days, I was like notorious for trying the first time on a test, like just going, seeing what happens. And every time I failed, I mean, sometimes I just wanted to quit, that's true, but every time I failed, I just kept at it again and again and again. And sometimes it took me a second, a third try, but eventually I got there, you know, and eventually I was able to um get my degree, so it wasn't about um and it was a lot of pressure because I put myself under pressure because I was like, Well, if you study something that you chose, you have to be good at it. Well, spoiler, I wasn't that good at it, but who cares? I'm I still got a job with it back then, so still was good enough apparently. And you just want to see the pressure as something helping you achieve this goal that you've set for yourself faster, and if it doesn't apply this time, it will the next time, or the next time, or the next time, as long as you don't give up. And I know that's like a tedious thing to not give up, but it's also such a great quality to have because if you are in a room with someone and you have the mindset of maybe I'm not the fastest, but I will outlast every single one of you, then if you keep on going with that, and if you keep outlasting everyone, and if it's like an endurance race, well, guess who's gonna win? You because you've outlasted everyone, and you don't have to see it as an endurance race of one day, but of you can see it as a lifetime, and the winning thing is you beating your inner limiting beliefs. Okay, I don't want you to be like I have to win Susie from down the street and we have to compete. And no, no, no, you win against the former you and expand yourself, and the feeling of overwhelm I oftentimes felt and still feel is in small situations, like things that in three years from now I would be like, Oh, I didn't even realize that was such a big thing. Like when I look back at the test thing in my uni days now, it's like it wasn't a big thing, but at that time it was the biggest thing in my life because that was like was I was what I was doing with my life, you know. So um feeling overwhelm and pressure in perceivably from the outside, small things, but in your life, it feels like the biggest thing right now, the biggest thing, like me not being able to um ace a test was like the biggest thing, and I absolutely hated it, but hmm, still here, still made it. So back looking back now, I can see that it was a small thing. But in that situation, what would have helped, and what I would recommend you to do, is if you feel overwhelmed and by the pressure of small things, yeah, and if it's like a test, you have to take the test in a complete sense or not at all, so that wouldn't be a great um example for it. But if you have something like being afraid of talking to people um that are strangers, like if you are like social anxiety much, I understand, I totally had that. Still kind of do, but now I'm just dealing with it in my way. Um, and I'm not as much identifying with it. I'm just like, okay, if I'm in a social situation and I'm not vibing, I just don't care as much how other people perceive me. But please don't think that I don't care at all because I believe uh that is absolutely part of the human experience, and you know, it's always a work in progress. Even if you mastered one level, there's still a next level, next level, and next level to achieve. So if you feel overwhelmed by pressure in small situations, like talking to strangers, do it in the smallest capacity you can do and see how you're able to do it. Because the thing is, once we've done it, we look back on it and we're like, oh, it's not that big of a deal. But if you're super scared of it, you have to find a way to do it in small increments. Like, let's say you want to go out there and meet new people and find new people and stuff like that, but you're scared of coming across as like needy, weird, whatever. So, what are we going to do? Next time you go to a coffee shop and you are in line and the person in front of you orders their coffee, and I was like, Oh, and please add extra cinnamon. I don't know, I don't personally drink coffee, but cinnamon sounds nice. And you go and are like, Oh, cinnamon, like to this person, that sounds really nice. I'm gonna try that, and that's it. They don't even have to talk to you anymore. Just like this comment of you thinking the order is cool, is the order sounds great, you're gonna try it, and you're gonna try. Then you order the coffee unless you're allergic to cinnamon, and please don't please don't kill yourself for that. And then you're gonna try and just say the statement to this person, like make sure the person hears you, the person knows you're talking to them, because otherwise you're gonna be frustrated that no one heard you. So say that statement, it's like a compliment kind of. And if that person is like, Oh yeah, I really like cinnamon in my coffee, I've tried it like three times and now it's my go-to, and then you can start a conversation if you want to, and if you don't, you don't have to because that's a stranger in a coffee shop, you're probably never gonna see them again. And maybe, just maybe, that small compliment, that small suggestion of oh, I like your idea of an order, maybe that made their day, and maybe go into it with the motivation of make someone's day better by a little comment that you said, and not with the motivation of um I want to talk to someone. Okay, that helps so much more because everyone is obsessed with their own life and they don't care as much as you think about you. I mean, in a sense of the stranger might be looking at you and you're like, oh my god, what is it happening? Is he hating my shirt? Is he this? Is it this? Maybe they just just thought, oh, nice shoes, and walked on with their life and didn't care about it again. Like that might be the most possible case because how often a day do you think about someone that you've maybe never met or it's just like an acquaintance 24-7? Like no one thinks about just some random person 24-7. So they are not gonna think about you 24-7. Okay? And if they do, you live rent-free in their head. So congratulations, you got your first real fan. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if there's anything more I can do for you, reach out to me. Everything you need is in the description box, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day.