Episode 35 - Gary and Kim Gustin

Gary grew up in California and Kim in Oregon.  They were separately both on similar paths...suffering from trauma, becoming addicted to alcohol and drugs and turning to anything but the Lord.  They ended up in small town Colt, Arkansas where everything changed for them.  

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:10

Hello, I'm Becky Dowd, and this is The Journey to Salvation. Join me as we walk alongside real people and hear the unique journeys that led them to faith in Jesus. Today, my guests are Kim and Gary Gustin. Hey Kim. Hey. Hey Gary. Hi. How are y'all doing?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Good. Wonderful.

SPEAKER_05 0:33

Good.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Life is good.

SPEAKER_05 0:34

Thank you for coming in today. Thank you. It's late in the day, but you didn't have to work today. No. You you went to Jonesboro and had fun. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Yes. I hope. Plan on going for a motorcycle ride later on after after we're going to be able to do that. Oh, good. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 0:46

Good. Well, we'll get through this and then you can go do that and you be careful out there on your motorcycle. Yes. So I met you two um, I guess at a CR meeting, celebrate recovery meeting in Colt that you actually are uh leading. Yes. Right? And so um three years now. Okay. So I think that's where I first met you. And then um some of our guys from the harbor are there every Tuesday night. Yes. And know them, they're great.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Yes, great. Oh, we love everybody from the bridge.

SPEAKER_05 1:20

Yeah, everybody's great. Yeah. So, but anyway, but that's how I got to know you. But I do want to um hear about your story. Uh first of all, we'll go to you, Kim. Tell us about how it was growing up for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Okay, well, I grew up in Oregon and I grew up in an alcoholic home. Um, my parents were very functional, they both had really good jobs. So on the outside of our home, everything looked fantastic. In fact, my dad worked for General Motors, he had a great job. And it's kind of funny because I work at, you know, a plant now. My dad was, you know, up the chain in a in a plant for GM. So it's funny now that I work at a plant. Um but uh we had a really nice home and it was great, but um a lot of things on the inside of the home were not great. And so by the time I was 13, I was an alcoholic.

SPEAKER_05 2:21

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Um yeah, we had a bar in our house, and so what age did you start drinking? Um uh well, we had a keg of beer in our family room, and you know, the plastic milk jugs, and I was taking the empty milk jugs and I was filling them up out of my dad's keg, and I was neighborhoods at an early age. Well, the neighbor kids and I already were because I was getting drunk and I was I was a full-blown alcoholic.

SPEAKER_05 2:53

Were your parents aware of that?

SPEAKER_01 2:56

No, but my dad would wonder why that keg was empty so quickly, you know. So, and then along those lines, I was um sexually active very early in my life. And um, by the time I was 15, I was pregnant, and my story is just a roller coaster of bad choices, and um I was just a mess very early on, and so there's a lot of things that I just don't talk about. Um, but uh I graduated from high school, which was an absolute miracle, and then I went on to go to college and I graduated from um, I got my associate's degree, and then I started um at Western Oregon State for my bachelor's. I did not finish, but I got married and I had two more children, and then um I had foster children, and I still was doing drinking, but I was functional, and then I made bad choices again because once you don't deal with trauma, once you don't deal with things in your life, it comes back, and so um I made really bad choices and ended up losing my children, and just my life became another nightmare again, and I ended up losing all my kids, getting arrested, and this time I started methamphetamines, and I had no hope, no nothing, and so um I ended up running away at this point after I had lost all hope, all everything, and I went to Arizona to get away, and so when I went to Arizona, I ended up um going to prison for a year at that point, and that's when I met Gary, was not long after that.

SPEAKER_05 5:11

So, Gary, that brings us to you. Tell us about your upbringing.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Uh well, I was born in Palmdale, in California. Uh I was raised in in Palmdale. Uh my I was raised in an alcoholic family. My brother, my brothers and sisters were not around. I'm the youngest of seven. My next older brother is nine years older than me. Um but my mom and and her boyfriend drank consistently every day. Uh and at the age of three years old, when she got together with him, the the he used to start beating on my mom. And uh for a three-year-old, that's pretty traumatizing. Um in the process of a move one time, uh, my uncle had come to help us move, and I OD'd on these on these pills that he had. I got a hold of them, thought they were candy. And so I had my first OD at three years old. Um anyhow, so so life moved on. Uh, and as I got older, I used to inter interject in between the arguments, and pretty soon the beatings became more on me. Uh personally, I thought, you know, I'd rather be hitting me than hitting my mom.

SPEAKER_05 6:31

Um how old were you when you intervened in that way?

SPEAKER_00 6:35

I was probably eight, nine, ten, right in there. Yeah. I was pretty young. Um we moved to to Montana when I was twelve years old, and I met this gentleman, and he started uh teaching me and a friend of mine martial arts. And I was like, I had a plan that I was gonna put an end to this. Um and when I turned 16 years old my time had come. And uh anyway, I went after him, my brother pulled me off, and we left the state. We went back to California. Um when we did, when I came back to California, I lived at my sister's house and her husband was a LAPD. Uh lived with them and I got in with the wrong crowd again. Uh just continued smoking weed and was introduced to methamphetamines and uh absolutely fell in love with the drug. Um you know, I didn't feel anything. Uh like I said, I didn't care about myself, I didn't care about anybody else around me. Uh the cops ended up arresting me one time at school, took me took me home, and my sister kicked me out of the house. And I get it now, I understand, because she didn't want me to influence her kids. And uh and I probably would have. Um so here I am at 16 years old out on the streets on my own. And you know, how am I gonna make money? Well, I wasn't smart enough to keep a job. I wasn't, you know, wasn't steady. So, you know, I I just did what I had to do to survive. Um as I got got older, uh I started dealing drugs, uh, got arrested multiple times, did multiple times in county jails and stuff like that, and just lived that life for many, many years. Um I ended up uh getting married, we we split up, I moved to Colorado, I violated my probation, and they expedited me back to Arizona, and that's when I did my first stint in prison. Um, and all that did is teach me how to be more of a criminal.

SPEAKER_05 8:56

Um how old were you at that time?

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Wow, I was in my 30s, I was probably like 31, 32. Um I had had little devils, like I'd go stay at my sister's house when I was younger, and she would take me, you know, I'd go over there for the summer, she would take me to VBS and stuff like that. So I had little encounters of of God, but I was there to play, you know, I I wasn't absorbing anything. Um, even in prison, my first stint, you know, I would go to go to church to get out of my cell, and that's where I could meet other people. We could do our talking, I could do my little hustles, whatever I had to do. But again, God's word never comes back void. Um so I get out and I'm doing good for a while and slip up into the same old stuff again. You know, uh when times get hard, people like myself go back to what they know. You know what I mean? I I knew how to make money and I knew how to do it quickly. Um so that's what I resorted to. Um you know, I thought let me back up. I I started drinking thinking, okay, well, I got this handled now. And you know, just one thing led up led to another, and before I knew it, I was right back where I started from. Um I ended up getting in trouble again for multiple different things. Uh ended up going back to prison, and that's when I was introduced to this new religion to me uh called paganism. And you know, what they did is they believed in multiple gods, and uh, you know, most people have watched the Marvel comics, you know, Odin and Thor and all Loki and all them. So that's what I believed in, but uh there was always something in the back of my head saying, Well, if they're controllers of these different attributes, who controls them? And so I never put my full faith into that. And I and I thank God now for that. Um so first for quite a few years I I practiced this paganism.

SPEAKER_05 11:14

And how do you practice paganism?

SPEAKER_00 11:18

I practiced the the rituals that they did, uh like at Christmas time when everybody else is saying Christmas, we said Yule, we went out and burned our logs, we would go out there and do chants and pray to our gods. Uh you know, just depending on the different seasons, what God you pray to and different things like that. Um a lot of a lot of the skin heads uh are into the asa true and you know the that kind of religion stuff. Um they wanted to recruit me, but I didn't see that lifestyle as mine, my own. Um, although at the time I was very racist. Um and then after I got out of prison the last time, I or while I was when I went in for the last time, I was like, you know what, I'm gonna make some changes in my life. I had given myself six months to get my GED. Uh I did that in three months. Um, I took some college courses in construction tech, and instead of getting into trouble and everything else, I kept my nose clean and worked myself down to a level one where I could go out on an outside detail. And so when I got out of prison, I had money and was able to buy a car and clothes and things that I needed. Um and it was during this time uh because I was doing pretty good. I was doing my meetings, I was doing all the things that I needed to do. I had a solid job. Um and you were still in prison? No, I got out of prison. Okay. Uh I I worked at a place called Hickman's while I was in prison, and they take so much of your money, they give it to you every couple weeks, they put the rest of the money on a retention fund for when you get released. Okay. Um so when I got released from there, uh I was at a halfway house and I was doing well. I had a like I said, I had a job. I was doing the things that I needed to do, going to meetings.

SPEAKER_05 13:14

Um You're talking about like AA meetings?

SPEAKER_00 13:17

AA, NA, C A, you know, all the A's. All the A's. All the A's. Um, but there was always something holding me back. I never understood the God concept. You know, they they never explained that. They said, you know, to believe in a higher power greater than yourself. Well, this chair could be the greater power, you know. I trust that when I sit in this chair, it's gonna hold me up.

SPEAKER_05 13:39

That's what they teach you at the AA meetings.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

AA meetings, yes. Um so one day I was on my way to an AA meeting with with a friend of mine, and uh we passed this girl that we knew, and and Kim was with her, and and we get to the AA meeting, and I said, This is a meeting I'm gonna miss. And he's like, What do you mean? I said, I'm going back.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Yeah, sure did. But yeah, but it I mean, and it was it was fine that he did, but the thing was is that I was a full on, I was full on in addiction at that point in my life.

SPEAKER_05 14:13

So And you were clean at that time, Gary. Yes, he was clean.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Yes, and so I mean, it's horrible. And I I mean, I have just it's torn me up for years and years and years that within him being in that halfway house and being clean and sober and having his self together, within two days, I had him shooting up. I mean, it didn't take any time at all. And he says, Oh, that was my decision. It wasn't my decision. And and ultimately, yes, we're all in control of our own decisions as far as whatever. And yes, God had a plan. I I get that.

SPEAKER_05 14:52

But you still feel responsible for that. Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Absolutely, and I was responsible for that. I am, I take responsibility for my actions, which you know, that's not something that has been easy for me ever in life to take responsibility for my actions, but I do take responsibility because it was my fault. Yeah, and so we were off to the races uh in Arizona in a whirlwind of garbage for a long time until I left Arizona. I left him there because he was a cheater. Oh. And since he was on parole because he had come out of prison, I left him. I left him there and he couldn't leave. And I came out here because I had a friend out here. So I left and came to Arkansas and said, bye-bye, Gary. I was only gonna and I I was, I think we were together out there, what, six or eight months, maybe longer than that. It wasn't very long. It wasn't very long. And so I said goodbye, I'm going. And I packed my stuff up and I came out here and and then uh we still talked to each other all that time.

SPEAKER_05 16:06

So, how was your uh drug use, I guess, and going after she left?

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Well, I went back to the halfway house, a a different halfway house. Uh, and I stayed there uh for as long as I could, and then I know I I slept in my truck for a while when I got kicked out of there uh because I had no control over my addiction anymore. Um and I I mean, I we even I even tried to get violated to go back to to prison so she would know where I'm at. Okay, there's no way of me cheating here because I'm with nothing but a bunch of guys.

SPEAKER_05 16:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Um and now all they did is stick me on extensive parole. And it was like, oh no, here we go. This backfired.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Um but I ended up completing your parole.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

I ended up completing my parole, and uh the day that I got up off parole, I had my motorcycle loaded up in the back of my truck. They signed my papers and off to Arkansas I came.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Yes, and I was clean and sober by then.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

I was clean. So when by the time I get to Arkansas, it was reversed roles. She was clean and sober. I was not, and so I influenced her and we were off to the races again.

SPEAKER_05 17:29

You know, so what do you think that is instead of you know the other way around? Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Yeah, because it we were lost. That was number one. We were I mean, we were just it was just a mess, and we were just not. I mean, if we were saved, I think that would have been a different situation at the time, but we weren't, and so we were neither one of us were strong enough, and we just we couldn't control ourselves, and that was what we knew.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

And so it was an everyday occurrence, yeah. You know, it wasn't just we're gonna party on the weekends. No, it was every single day. Uh, you know that that's what we did day in and day out, and uh, you know, we ended up with that we were living in Forest City at that time, we moved to Caldwell, and that turned out to be a disaster. We moved constantly. Moved to to Cotton Plant, and that was that is the most depressing place I've ever seen. Uh no offense, but no offense, but you know, uh and we ended up in Colt, Arkansas in this little trailer that had no running water, no electricity, holes in the floor, holes in the floor, holes in the roof when it rained, it rained just as much inside as it did outside.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Uh the people that had lived there before us had left a can of ragu spaghetti sauce and uh some mice eaten spaghetti. And did you know you can barbecue spaghetti? It can be done.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

I was the best ever that we'd ever eaten because we were starving. Yeah, we're so hungry. And oh, tell her how it happened.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

But it was all a gift, and we had no idea. Yeah. One day I went into the restroom of all places, and I hear this voice says, Go find a church now.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

It's true, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

And it scared me to death. I knew at that point in time, exactly that moment, this is my final call. Um, so I came out of the restroom. I told Kim, I said, Get on your shoes and let's go. She goes, Where are we going? I said, We're gonna go find a church. You're a liar.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Oh, because over the years I had said, We need to go to church. Let's go to church. Yeah, and he was like, No way, I don't believe in that. I'm a practicing pagan, I'm not going, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_05 19:54

Or either one of y'all, did you did your families go to church growing up at all?

SPEAKER_00 19:59

My sister did in her family. Um, I don't know about the rest of my brothers and sisters. I don't believe so.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Yeah. My grandma, my grandma, who's gonna be a hundred at the end of this month, she had prayed forever and ever. And I've been able to see her since I've been saved.

SPEAKER_05 20:17

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

And yes, and what a blessing for her, yes, oh, and for me to see that. Oh, God has been good. Yeah, and so yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:28

So she's so you say, Let's go find a church.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

And uh so anyway, so we we take off and we're doing our usual bit, walking down this sidewalk, and we're arguing and all this other stuff, and and saying, Okay, well, if we do find a church, we're only going, you know, once a week or once a month, or you know, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_05 20:49

Was this like a Sunday or what day of the morning? No, this is on a Wednesday. We didn't even know what day it was, though.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

No, they had church on Wednesday nights, okay? We're just going to look for church. It was a Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

It was I I don't know, whatever day the the first of January was 2017.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Yeah, I couldn't even tell you.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

I don't know. We didn't know what day it was or what day of the week it was. I don't know if we knew what time it was.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

We walked by this church and there's this sign there, and nothing's on it. It was just an old decrepit sign and just a couple of letters here and there. So we kept on walking and and we came up to this other church and and they were closed down. Yeah, it was like okay, I tried, you know what I mean? And we turn around, we start walking, and lo and behold, on the other side of that first sign, it said 6 p.m. Yeah, Wednesday night.

SPEAKER_05 21:38

So Sunday January the first, twenty seventeen. That was it. It was a Sunday. Was it a Sunday? Yes, I just looked it up.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Okay. Um so we how about that?

SPEAKER_05 21:47

You got the you got the word to find a church on the on a Sunday. On a Sunday, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

Yeah, God's intervention.

SPEAKER_05 21:52

But would have been Friday, you would have been in trouble.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Absolutely, because I probably wouldn't have made it too. Um so we went home and and we Had a couple hours we sat there and and discussed this, you know, what we were gonna do and how we're gonna do this, and putting all these stipulations on it.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

And we were filthy. We had no running water. We had we were we put on our best our cleanest pair of dirty clothes, yes, and brushed our my hair was filthy, so we just kind of put it, you know, whatever. And um we probably smelled bad.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Probably not, but I'm sure we stunk to high heaven.

SPEAKER_01 22:31

Yes, and we walk down that broken road back to and that road, that sidewalk has kind of cracked and and broken, just like we were. Absolutely broken.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

I I remember distinctively we were walking down that sidewalk, and and uh we see this star on this on this house, and Kim's like, Well, that's probably a parsonage. And I'm like, What's a parsonage? I had I had no idea, a clue.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

It wasn't. It was just somebody's from Christmas.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

From Christmas, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Sweet people that we love so much, but it was their star.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

And uh so we get up to this church, and I could hear him inside playing the piano, and I could hear people talking, and I I peek up and I look in the window and I see all these people, and I'm scared to death. I'm like, uh, here we go. And so I grabbed a hold of that door and I pulled that door open. It was the heaviest door I ever tried to open in my life. And me being the gentleman that I am, I kind of pushed her in first because if it caught on fire, I didn't want to be inside. And uh we walked inside and found the most amazing people. Um we were first introduced. This gentleman, Merle Horton, came up to us and said, You come in here and make yourselves at home. You act like you've gone here your whole life. And uh, and we were nervous and we sat down next to him, and everybody loved on us. I could not tell you a word one that that preacher said that night. Couldn't tell you what it was uh anything. I remember just sitting there frozen and uh you know, Merle's hooting and hollering like he always does. That guy was a hoot.

SPEAKER_03 24:11

Hallelujah.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Uh and uh so you know, he calls the preacher over, come over here, brother, and and he introduces us to him, and and uh so we just sat there in kind of awe, I think, you know, and uh after the service, Clint came up to us and said, you know, you guys want to talk?

SPEAKER_05 24:33

Uh he's the pastor there right now.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

He's the pastor there, Clint Haynes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 24:36

And still is, yes, and still is.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Love the man. Uh so we went back and we were sitting in these little rooms and and these little plastic round tables, and he sat there and he introduced us to Jesus. Yes, and uh, you know, he told us, you know, that uh if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and and He died for your sins and that He was rose from the dead, that you too shall be saved. And so I just started pouring it out everything, all the hurt, all the bitterness, all the anger, all the you know, all this stuff. And uh I have no idea how long we were there. I don't know, it was a long time though. I'm sure it was quite a while because I had a lot to spew out, and uh you know, he lovingly just you know accepted us and told us, you know, well, welcome to the family. And I was like, wow, and it was amazing.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

Yes, uh life has never been the same.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

It has not. We went home literally before this. She would tell us, you gotta sleep on the other side of the bed because you keep waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

And we would swap sides because we fought so much and we were so grouchy and and and afterwards it was so much relief.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Yeah, you know, the the anger and the bitterness all was gone.

SPEAKER_05 26:00

And uh let me ask you something. You know, some people think that somebody that may not be a believer may not know the power that the Lord has to do that, to change you from what you were to who you are. And what do you say to somebody like that? Is there any way you could have gone from where you were that minute walking in to where you were when you left that church?

SPEAKER_00 26:26

Not without the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

No way, because let me tell you something. I in my addiction still wanted to use drugs before we went there. And when we were there, he took that. He said, Today you're done. You're done, no more. And we have never, never used again. There is no way that anything could have changed that but him. Right.

SPEAKER_05 26:58

Because because you were still in your addiction, so physically, yes, you were still uh had a desire for those drugs. Absolutely. And not based on what you wanted to do, it was just something because of you using them so much.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

And we're talking no physical withdrawal, we're talking about no no nothing. And he just said, boom, you're finished, you're done today.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

There there are no words that I can say nothing that would describe how it happened. No, I just know it happened.

SPEAKER_05 27:26

Yeah, right. It was supernatural.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

It was supernatural. Because let me tell you, I've done AA, NA, CA, I've done all the A's, I've done all the programs, I've done inpatient, outpatient, none of it worked.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Only him.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

And uh that night my life was forever changed. And I owe it all to Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

SPEAKER_05 27:48

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:49

Uh so what happened then?

SPEAKER_00 27:51

So you went back to the trailer. So we went back to that trailer and Merle. Merle would show up at our house every day, and uh he we'd go over to his house, he let us do laundry over there, he he'd fed us, he'd take showers, and uh just just loved on us from a Christian's perspective. Yes. And we would go out with them then. Clint and Merle used to go out once a once a week, twice a week, I think, to the nursing homes.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Are you talking about that? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

And so he started inviting us to go to the nursing homes with them, which I thought at the time was kind of strange. You know, okay, you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

But uh You want to go to the nursing home?

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Yeah, trying to avoid that place. But we went and and you know, learned to just love on these people that you know uh that were in these nursing homes, they had no hope. You know what I mean? A lot of them, their families put them in there and forgot about them.

SPEAKER_04 28:46

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

And so we just went there and loved on them and and I watched and observed them sharing the gospel. And so what I later figured out was that was them discipling me. That was them saying saying, Look, watch me and and and learn, and then I'm gonna sit back and I'm gonna I'm gonna help you go through it, and then I'm gonna sit back and I'm gonna watch you do it.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

You know, it was true discipleship. We have our churches have a big failure, I believe, that we want to get them in, set them in the pews, but then not teach them nothing.

SPEAKER_04 29:27

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

You know, what we're these people need to be taught how to study, how to disciple, how to be discipled.

SPEAKER_05 29:34

Because the Great Commission says go and make disciples, right? Absolutely and not go and share the gospel, even though that's you know what you're doing. Yes, but making disciples is something totally more more than that.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

Absolutely, absolutely. And so that's what we try to do. You know, we go out, we tell our testimony, and you know, we we got the CR going. We understood understudied under a gentleman uh named Wayne Wooten, who I have nothing but the utmost uh respect respect for. Um he had called me. It's this is a kind of a funny story. He called me up and said, you know, hey, I've talked to your pastor and a few other people, and they said you'd be a good one to take into the jails to minister to these people. You ain't getting me in no jail. But little did I know that God had been preparing me. And so, you know, I put him off till the till the end of the year, and the new year started, and and uh I started going into the jails with him to minister to these men in there, and it was amazing. It was great. Uh and the best part was I was able to walk out and hear the door slam and I was able to go. Um but it started up something in me that look, I need to take what God has done for me and share it with other people so I can take my life and my bad choices and try to steer somebody else in the right path.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Um, so then we ended up starting to celebrate recovery, and you know, we get in the ditch with these people.

SPEAKER_04 31:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

You know, a lot of these people are going through some hard times and they don't they don't see the way out. They don't understand that you know it takes change, it takes work, it's it's not easy.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

But God never wastes our pain. He never wastes it. He doesn't. And the thing is, I think is what amazes me all the time is how when you do get in the ditch with people, God will do some amazing things and he sends people that will get in also get in there with you. You know, that's what's so cool about CR, I think, is that like the bridge, they are so faithful and so amazing. I've seen them come alongside people that just it blows me away. And our church, how they come alongside and they get in the ditch, and all the other recovery places and and other churches, and we all are like a big family. Hey, you need this? All right, I'm there. You need this, come on, let's go, you know, and it's like we got a team, we got a community, yeah, and nobody goes in it alone. You know, we're like a big family.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

And who thought we'd be here doing this today with you? Yeah, but it never happened in the past.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Oh no, never lock your doors. You see those two, you know.

SPEAKER_05 32:33

Well, you know, and you can really pour into people that because of what you've been through, you know, that are going through the same thing, that so much more than than somebody else that hadn't been through that.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

My pastor told me the same thing. He said, You know what, Gary, you can reach people I can't, right? And I can reach people you can't. And that's why we're the body of Christ.

SPEAKER_04 32:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

You know, it it takes a whole body to to we can do more together than we can apart.

SPEAKER_05 32:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

And so, you know what still I call him all the time gleaning information from, well, what do you think about this subject? You know, no, that's a bad idea. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

And you know, the other thing too is that um we work at Mueller and uh uh we have an incredible boss. He um, and I'm not gonna, you know, he he is our Sunday school teacher. He has been our Sunday school teacher since the very beginning, and that's Clint's dad. And he it's something there's something to be said about working for a godly man. And um, you know, uh he is he's very good to us. He's a respectful, I respect him. And so that's really cool. And my husband told me, he goes, come to work at Mueller, it'll give you self-esteem. I'm thinking, come to work at Mueller, it'll hurt your back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:00

That's pretty hard work, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 34:02

But it's opened up opportunities. We work in a place where every day we we sit down and and we have a prayer meeting before before we start work. Yeah, yeah. Start our day.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

And you know, a lot of workplaces you can't do that. No. And he's all for it. He's like, do it.

SPEAKER_05 34:18

And I know that some of our guys from the harbor have gone to work there. And what a blessing that is to know that y'all are around them during the day, but also, and I know there's another plant too right there, uh BK BK.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Yeah, that some of them go to. But it's their second chance, uh opportunity employers.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Yeah, we are so grateful to have a company that does give people a second chance. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 34:45

Because I know a lot of the guys that I've talked to at the harbor, you know, they'll be like, I put my application in, and they're really nervous about because of their past, not being able to work there. Right. But every one of them so far has been able to work there, and that's been a blessing to them. Absolutely. It's a great company.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

One of them just bought a car, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Yes, yes, yes, we're so proud of him. So proud of him. We are proud of our company, we're proud of it, but it's just it's great all the way around. So it's given us a chance. So worth it.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Serving serving Jesus is is, you know, it's not always easy. And let me just say this anybody that tells you that becoming a Christian is is flowers and roses and everything else is lying. Yeah, they are okay, because it's not easy, it is hard, but it's worth it, it is worth it, it is worth it. But Satan has came at us in ways that we never thought it would be possible. Um, and we're still trying to learn, you know. We've only been saved coming up on 10 years, so I look at myself as I'm a 10-year-old kid, yeah. You know, trying trying to figure this out. And so uh, you know, it it's got its challenges.

SPEAKER_05 35:56

So let me ask you something. So the guys that you get to know are the people, not necessarily just guys that come to the CR meetings, um how are their lives different in their drug use, alcohol use, maybe than the way it was back when you two were involved in that lifestyle?

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Look, now because our our celebrate recovery is faith-based. It is is is Christ-based. And so they are hearing the word of God at every meeting. Um so you can't help, but if they go back out and use they're gonna think about that. It's gotta pluck their heart in some way, some fashion or another.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

Um I'm thinking that she might be asking about the difference between drug use when we were using drugs and how dangerous it is to be using drugs now because fentanyl is on the streets now, and fentanyl was nothing on the streets when when we were using drugs. Now, if you use drugs, the next time you use it, it could kill you. And um, but I don't know if that's what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_05 37:08

I was yeah, so how do you think are are people that are using taking that more seriously, or just because in their drug use it doesn't really matter?

SPEAKER_00 37:17

They should be. They should be, yes, but I don't think they do. Uh I am now on the fire department and uh you know we carry fentanyl everywhere we go. I got it in my truck right now. Or not fentanyl, narcan, excuse me.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Please don't care.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

But but you know what, I I've come up on scenes and and you know, they got the needle in their arm and and they're out, you know, they're they're done. And I don't think that they realize how dangerous this drug truly is.

SPEAKER_04 37:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Um, you know, until it's too late. You know, a lot of them they have Narcan right there, but sometimes it doesn't work. You know what I mean? It just doesn't, they can't administer bad.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

We've been to Narcan trainings. In fact, we've been to two or three of them, and it it's so scary.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

I can't emphasize on how dangerous it is today. Yeah, you know. Uh but these people are are just they're broken and they're searching for something, and right, you know, it it they're not gonna find it in a in a needle or a pipe or in a bottle or whatever their drug of choice is. You know, there's Jesus will come and fill your heart. You know, uh everything else is just a band-aid. You know, it's time to rip off that wound, face your traumas, and and deal with it.

SPEAKER_05 38:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

You know, at some point we're all a uh we all have to be held for our own our own sins, our own uh accountability there.

SPEAKER_05 38:45

Well, and like you said too, Kim, and I think Gary, you probably probably think the same thing is you have to address those past traumas. And I know that one one of the CR meetings I came to um I don't think at that meeting they were talking about, but there was gonna be a meeting not long after that at one of the other places that does CR and they were gonna talk about that sort of thing. And so would you say most people that are I don't know if you would say most people, a lot of people probably have those that past trauma.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Trauma is different for everybody, okay? Mine was a physical abuse, um, and then the drugs and alcohol was just a band-aid on it. Somebody else's uh trauma may be something totally different, but you need to address that trauma, whatever it might be.

SPEAKER_05 39:40

Because it's under the surface there in it. It truly is, it's affecting things.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

And what goes on in our mind is what's gonna go through our heart. Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 39:48

And then you know, we're just we're just I believe it all, I mean uh most of it stems from trauma, the drug use, the alcoholism, or whatever the I think it does a lot of times. I don't think 99% of the time, I don't think somebody just goes, Oh, I want to become a drug addict. You know, I think there's some kind of idea.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

My testimony at a youth youth rhologist not long ago, and I I sat there and said, All right, so how many of you here wanted to become a drug addict when you grew up? Nobody raised their hand, thank God. Yeah, you know, but none of us thought we were gonna be there.

SPEAKER_04 40:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

You know what I mean? It's just something that happens over over time, and then you start you get introduced to this, and you know, hey, this feels good. And and then you just start running with that, and before you know it, you're numb.

SPEAKER_05 40:34

Right. And I think a lot of the testimonies that I've heard, um it starts with uh I started hanging around with these people. You know, sometimes people, yeah. Sometimes it's it's you it might be you that initiated it, but a lot of time it's those those people that you choose to be around and what they're doing.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. And before you know it, you're you're that person introduced some introducing something else. Yes, you know, and and by then you don't even realize it.

SPEAKER_05 41:03

Right. And it doesn't always stick to, oh, I'm gonna drink, you know, it it's usually, you know, weed and alcohol and then moves on to different things, right? It's usually not just one thing.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Sure. Well, I mean, for for me it was like, well, okay, I've partied all night and and I gotta go to go to work, right? Some function that I gotta go to. Well, here, try this right here. This will keep you awake for the day.

SPEAKER_05 41:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

And then you're off. Yeah, great. Yeah, hey, now it's been two or three days, and I need some more to keep me going through the next day or two. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:36

It doesn't end, does it?

SPEAKER_00 41:38

No, it doesn't. It's just a vicious cycle. Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 41:41

Thank God it does end, though. It can end. It can. And it does with Jesus. Yeah, thank goodness.

SPEAKER_05 41:47

So, where do you see yourself in the future? I know that you're you are part of the uh doing the celebrate recovery meetings on Tuesday night at Cote Baptist Church. And um Do y'all have another ministry you're part of?

SPEAKER_01 42:03

Um, we well, we're hoping to start up drive-through prayer again this summer.

SPEAKER_05 42:07

Tell me what that is.

SPEAKER_01 42:09

Well, we we're gonna dust off our signs and bring them out. We um throw out some tables out there, and you know, it's kind of intimidating when you go out alongside the highway with your signs and say, Can I pray with you?

SPEAKER_00 42:23

I used to hide behind the sign.

SPEAKER_01 42:26

But there's something about it when cars drive through, it's kind of like McDonald's.

SPEAKER_05 42:31

Yeah. And you did this on Highway One at Colt?

SPEAKER_01 42:34

Well, we have done it at Highway One, and we've done it right by the association, and then we've done it down at Fitzgerald Crossing. Okay, and uh then we have a goodie bag, and so people can come in, they drive in and we pray with them for whatever their needs are. Yeah, and then we'll give them a Bible or something, a tract, and and then we send them on their way. And we just so they don't even get out of their car. Nope, nope they don't.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Yeah, we have we have a really neat story about this. Uh you know, a lot long ago we had the tornado come through here. And my Which one?

SPEAKER_05 43:09

Seems like we've had a lot the last few years.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

One in 23. The one that actually hit the city.

SPEAKER_05 43:14

Yeah, the big end.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

Um, and my pastor and his friend were going around, they were, you know, going to these people's homes and they were talking to them, and and Clint said, Well, can I pray for you? And this lady kept saying, Well, I know you from somewhere, I know you from somewhere. And uh, as Clint started praying, she's like, I know. Clint had come to one of our drive-thru prayers and he prayed with we prayed with this lady about getting her family back together and then get into into church. He goes during this tornado, right after the tornado, he goes and he talks to them, and it's the same family, and this tornado brought their family back together. They started going to church.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

I was like amazing.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

It was so cool. Wow. Yes. So, but I think I mean if we've been praying about this for a while, Lord. Whatever the next thing you want us to do, the answer is yes. Yes. Yeah. We've been saying whatever it is, God, you know, it's fine with us. We're ready. But um we're just, you know, we're waiting.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

We're waiting. We're waiting for that push.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

Yeah. Right. You know, we're swapping, you know, the swap. It's uh now I'm gonna, I'm nervous, so surrender. Surrender, surrender, wait, avoid sin, and wait for his push. And so we're just digging in the word right now. We're doing a study. We're in the mornings, we wake up and we pray together. We do our Bible studies, and then we're just working on the abide. And then at night we do another Bible study together. My husband, he does this, he he prays over me, and I just absolutely love that. And um, so we're just waiting on the Lord.

SPEAKER_05 44:51

So I know that the guys from the harbor that go to Tuesday night CR just love going there. Yeah, they just really, really enjoy being there and being a part of that group, and we love them too.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

It was awesome. We had Zach come and he got up there and did the eight-day principles with us by memory because he can't read.

SPEAKER_01 45:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 45:11

And because he can't see. He can't see. I was so impressed. I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

We're gonna have to hit him up again to do those again. Yeah. I know, right?

SPEAKER_00 45:19

We tried to get him to do the 12 steps, but you know, I think that was a little much for him. I know.

SPEAKER_05 45:24

He doesn't get cheat sheets. No, he doesn't like we would. That's right. I'd be right in a moment. Yeah. Well, do you have anything else you want to share with us?

SPEAKER_00 45:35

You know what? Here's what I tell everybody that I've come in contact with that's hooked up on drugs and everything else. Give God one year. Okay. If he does not change your life dramatically, you can always go back. That game's still out there. But if he give him a solid one year and give it everything you got, and I promise you your life will change.

SPEAKER_05 46:03

And really all he needs it needs is one minute, doesn't he? Yeah. That's all he does. Yeah, that's all he needs, but we feel like we don't, we can't we need more time than that.

SPEAKER_00 46:13

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 46:14

Yeah. But for you, it was what uh the time you walked into the church, yeah, you know, until the time you left the church, even though he was working on you prior all through your life.

SPEAKER_00 46:26

I can see, I can look back now on my life and see where he was with me, you know, and it's kind of strange. It's like, wow, wow, how did I get through that? Well, now I see man, I I I had a thought and I lost it. Okay. It happens a lot at my age.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

I think, I think the thing that people struggle with a lot, and I think that um we don't listen when he says things. I'm so thankful to God that he that Gary listened when God said go and go now. I love your voice. You did that, but that was so good, Gary.

SPEAKER_05 47:03

Um what restaurant were you in? No, we're the bathroom. Restroom.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

Oh, you were in the restroom. Yes, yes, the restroom.

SPEAKER_00 47:13

He can meet you anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

He can. Um, but I think that a lot of times people think they have to clean up.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

That's where I was going with it.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

I think that oh, I have to wait until I put this down or I have to do this or whatever. Um He's not looking for that. He will take you just as you are.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

He loves you just the way you are.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

Just the way you are, just in the middle of our brokenness, our addiction, our dirty selves. And he loved us just like that. And he didn't care.

SPEAKER_00 47:52

And he doesn't love us any more today than he did that day.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

No. On our our worst day, he loved us so much, and on our best day, he loves us exactly the same as the worst day.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

Right.

SPEAKER_01 48:04

And he, I mean, I love my husband so much, and I'm telling you, we fought so badly before. And you know, we've been together 15 years now, married 10 this year, and that is an amazing thing.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

I just I we still have our disagreements, but now we can like we can sit down like adults and discuss things.

SPEAKER_05 48:29

Yeah, so back in Arizona, yeah. So back in Arizona, you never would have thought this is where you would be today.

SPEAKER_00 48:36

No, I thought that that the drugs was gonna be my entire life. I thought I was gonna die with a needle in my arm.

SPEAKER_01 48:42

Yeah, me too. For sure. There was it was death.

unknown 48:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

Absolute death. I was gonna die in my sins, a junkie in the ditch, for sure. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:55

Do you all have a favorite Bible verse?

SPEAKER_01 48:57

Yes, Isaiah 41, 10. Yes. He holds us with this righteous right arm. Yes, that's mine.

SPEAKER_00 49:04

Luke 10, too. Goes off every day on my phone, and I pray for the labors of the field. For the harvest labors are wide enough. Uh harvest is wide. Harvest is wide, but the labors are few. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 49:16

Well, thank y'all so much for sharing your stories today. Thank you for having us. Yes, thank you. Thank you for joining us today. New episodes release every Wednesday, so be sure to subscribe and get notified when a new episode is available. You can listen on the Journey to Salvation website, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts. So, where are you on your journey to salvation?