Episode 47 - Sheryl Hobbs

Listen in as Sheryl shares her journey to salvation and revisits a painful experience from her early teenage years that continues to be emotional decades later. 

Transcript

Becki 0:10

Hello, I'm Becky Dowd, and this is The Journey to Salvation. Join me as we walk alongside real people and hear the unique journeys that led them to faith in Jesus. Today my guest is Cheryl Hopps. Hello, Cheryl. Hey Becky. How are you doing? I'm good. Thank you for coming in today. Well, you're welcome. We've been friends for, I think we've been really good friends for the last uh I think about six years, five or six years, maybe seven years. Yeah. We really started hanging out uh around probably right before COVID or right after. I don't know. You wouldn't have hung around with anyone during COVID. That's exactly right. So it was probably before that. Yes, I know it was. Yeah. Because uh you kicked Dwayne out of the house when he had COVID. That's right. And uh that was funny. That's right, yeah. But anyway. Okay. Well, I'm glad you came in today. And can you just share your story, maybe where it all began for you?

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Sure. Um, I've been blessed to grow up in a Christian home. Uh never heard my parents ever have a crossword. They modeled a perfect marriage. Um, they were married 60 years when mom passed away with dementia. Um, my mom's dad, my grandpa Witcher, Fred, most people know around here, Fred Witcher. He was my grandpa, my papa, I called him, and my preacher growing up. Uh my aunts and were my Sunday school teachers, my youth leaders. Um, it was just a little country, small church in Fair Oaks, uh, where I grew up, and it was all family. And so I grew up my entire life knowing about God. Um, and grew up in the church and knowing all the church stuff, you know. Um, but I did not grow up with a healthy um knowledge of him. I was fearful. What I knew about the Lord was he's this big guy sitting up there with a stick about to whack me over the head every time I mess up. Um I was saved at the age of eight and baptized, um, but I also was saved every night of my life because I was so fearful of going to hell. Um back then a lot of the sermons I heard were hellfire, brimstone kind of stuff. So I had such a fear um of hell. And um, but anyway, when I was 12, so I got saved and baptized at eight. Um, and looking back on that as I got older, that was kind of a thing just to stay out of hell, so to speak. And everybody else in our my age group was doing it. Our church was small and didn't have a baptistry, and so they had to schedule baptisms at a different church down the road, and we had a baptism scheduled, and I decided, yeah, I need to do that too. That's just the next step, you know. But when I was 12, um we went to we changed churches. Um my grandfather took another church, and several members of my family ended up coming to church and win. And when we came to church and win, um that's when I met Duane in the youth group. We quickly became friends. Um he even took me to school in junior high. We were friends. Our families went on vacations together, and we eventually decided we kind of liked each other, we thought. Um, but around that same time, or a little before, we started going to Wynn Church when I was about 12 years old, 12 to 13, uh, I went through some sexual trauma with a relative. Um he was very respected in the church and the community. It was pretty devastating. Um it was confusing. Um I wondered what was wrong with me. I felt like it was my fault. I felt dirty, scared, actually terrified. I lost my trust in people. I felt ashamed. And I silently dealt with all of that trauma until I was married. And then I shared it with my husband, and he encouraged me to share it with my parents. My parents were devastated, they were hurt that I hadn't told them and asked me why. And I felt like I just couldn't. I felt like they wouldn't believe me. Um, I'm a kid. I was a kid. He was a well-respected man in the community and church, and I just thought they'll never believe what I tell them.

Becki 5:46

You didn't want to hurt them either, I'm sure. Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

That would hurt them. Right, because it was a relative, and we had a very close-knit family, and I knew that it would wreck. I thought it's gonna wreck our family, you know. But as I began to um work through it and share the trauma with closest friends and relatives, I then learned this the same individual had done the very same thing to several of my younger cousins. And I regret not sharing that now because had I done that back when it happened, I feel like I could have spared those other younger girl cousins that problem. You know, I could have spared them that. And so um I um I still struggle with trust. Um, I'm still not really good at dealing with all of it and some of the things that that imparts to a person. Um, and I guess if I could give any advice to anybody that might deal with sexual trauma, um don't keep it to yourself. Um, you're not the only one, it's not your fault. Um talk to somebody, get counseling. Um between good Christian counseling and Jesus. That's what heals you from it. You know, it still is a I pray sometimes that God would just wipe it from my memory because those things are things that you just don't forget, and it affects many aspects of your life that you don't even realize at times. Um, but um anyway, so I went through that. Um, and um when Duane and I were pretty newly married, um we were asked to be youth directors, interim at our church. Um, and so being asked to just step in as interim, you know, it I started thinking here I am, 22, 20 years up, 22 years old. And I'm kind of just honestly realizing that I'm coasting along, you know, um I'm doing the church stuff and I'm walking, uh talking the talk. Um, I'm doing all the stuff, but I realize, you know, how am I gonna ever lead youth unless I really have a relationship with the Lord? So I begin to seek God. Um and the Lord began to reveal himself to me um in a whole new light. Because where before I thought he's just sitting there waiting to pounce me on the head for every wrong I do, I begin to see him not just as my judge, but I thought he loves me, he really loves me. I can trust him. I may not have trust in people, but I can trust the Lord. I begin to see him as my father, as my Lord and as my king. And that's when I was truly at the age of 22, saved and then baptized again. Because that's when I really began a relationship with Jesus, you know. But even after that, I struggled in his word, I struggled to read his word. Um, even though I'd grown up in church and I knew all the stories and I knew basic stuff, I did not know God's word, and I really I didn't have a desire to, and that was something was wrong, you know, that was a disconnect. Um, and I started praying about that, that God would give me a heart for his word, and I confided that in a very close friend, and we began to study the word together. Um we would take our girls to school and sit down at my table with coffee and an old cassette player and listen to Bible teachings and study dig deep in the word. And um at that time her husband was a student at the uh Institute of Holy Land Studies getting a degree, and at times he would share some things with us, you know, that were really um really helpful. So what the way it helped me was we started at, you know, let's study Jesus and his childhood. And we just kind of did it almost like a history lesson, but learning the word and learning about Jesus from his birth forward. Um, and then it just opened up his word to me. I mean, a light came on. I I I God did give me an extreme hunger for his word, um, where I didn't want to put it down, where I I had some understanding that I didn't didn't have before. Um, and I realized that He He is all-knowing, He's all powerful, He Um He loves us so much, He's forgiving, He's personal, He's loving, He's merciful, and He's so, so good. So even though I always knew about Jesus, it really took me years to come to my salvation, and I still am a work in progress, and I will be until I meet Him face to face. I'm broken. I'm not just broken, I'm actually a wreck. I struggle every day with so much of my brokenness, but I do know my Redeemer. I know Jesus is my source and my rock and my strength. I know he's always near, and I know he doesn't leave me ever, not for even a second. So I guess, you know, for anybody listening that that hears this, um, I just again reiterate, you know, talk to somebody about your struggle, whether it is sexual trauma you've been through, whether it is, you know, just um talking the talk and not really knowing God's word, talk to somebody, get with a friend and and begin to uh study God's word and pray that he will give you um a desire for his word. And um my my nanny witcher um that I talked about earlier, um, she had a red phone when I was growing up, an old-fashioned dial phone, red. And all of us grandkids um always said that was her hotline to heaven because nanny was such a prayer warrior. I mean, she she was a prayer warrior. She taught me so much about prayer, and I feel like that's almost one, you know, one of my callings. I love to I mean, I talk to G to the Lord all day, every day. Literally walking around my house. People would think I'm crazy because I'm in conversation most of the time. Because I need him, because I'm a mess, you know. Um, but um But you intercede also for others who are I I love to pray for people. Um I've and I you know I've heard preachers say for years that everyone's have as a gifting, and I thought, well, I don't think I really do. I don't know what mine is. But um people will call me that I don't even know and ask me to pray for them. And I think, well, I like I eventually come to realize I guess that might be one of the things God is one of your spiritual gifts, one of my spiritual gifts that He's given me is prayer. And um one of the things that um that I was gonna share is um one of my favorite portions of scripture is in Ephesians 3, 14 through 21, it's Paul's prayer for spiritual growth. And I love that section of it. Well, I love all scripture, but I love that section of scripture. Um and so many times when I pray it, um, I say it as a prayer, and I even change, and I know we're not supposed to change a thing about God's word, but in prayer, I will change out the you to that person's name because it just makes it so personal. This is Ephesians 3, 14 through 21. When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious unlimited resources, he will empower you with inner strength through his spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it's too great to understand fully, then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now, all glory to God, who is able through his mighty power at work within us to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him and the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever. Amen.

Becki 17:07

That's a real picture of the difference between like your life was before, just going to church and doing those things that you do in church, as opposed to truly following the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Yes. And you know, when I start reading that portion of scripture and it says I fall to my knees, I literally Dwayne he says to me sometimes, I don't know how you do this, but I I just in my mind literally can shut off everything around me. And I just see myself at his feet. Like I literally, truly, in my heart, I'm just I fall at his feet. He's everything to me. God, I'm nothing without him. There's nothing good in me. That's why I say I'm a wreck and I'm broken. I mess up every single day, even yesterday, you know. But he is the only good that there is in me. And I am so in love with Jesus. He is my person. And that might sound crazy, but um I know I can trust him. I know he loves me regardless of my faults, and I just long to worship him, and I want to bring glory and honor to him in everything I do and say. And sadly, I don't always do that. But that's my heart's cry, is that you would see him in me, and that I could represent him to others and rep, you know, represent or really I want to I think of it as representing him.

Becki 18:56

Um his ambassador.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

Yes.

Becki 18:59

That's what we're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Yeah, that's right. That's right. And so that's my that's my um my heart's cry, you know. He's so good. He's done so much good. I mean, that I don't deserve. I mean, he's touched me physically before, he's touched Dwayne physically before, he's he's healed our hearts, you know. Um, he's healed our marriage. I mean, he is just so good and he cares so much, even about the little things. Does it matter how big or small it is, if it's a step in the sidewalk, he cares, which is kind of how he brought us here. But that's another story, I think.

Becki 19:49

Yeah, yeah, and I think that's something that people see in you is that you do have a deep love for the Lord. You share that in a way not to be boastful, but in a way to bring him glory. Yes, absolutely to share with others so that they can desire those same things.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Yeah.

Becki 20:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Um because it's personal, you know. It's not that um big, scary person sitting up there with the big stick, you know, to smack us. It's a personal relationship. It is so personal.

Becki 20:25

Um well it's an intimate relationship, a closeness that it's almost indescribable. Yeah is what you're saying, more or less.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Yes, exactly. I mean, he knows us and loves us in spite of all of our problems and mistakes and shortcomings, and you know I think of what Dustin said Sunday about why in in Romans 7, why I do what I don't want to do and the struggle we have with our flesh and the spirit. Um and he loves us in spite of those things. And we'll always have struggles until we are made perfect in heaven with him.

Becki 21:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

And so if we can look to him or somehow, um that the scripture tells us it draws us closer to him. Um that those trials we go through are to help us grow in him, and if it can point others to him in some way. Right.

Becki 21:32

I was thinking uh we had a little prayer meeting thing Sunday night at church, something we don't typically do on Sunday nights, but uh we're gonna start that, I think, the first Sunday of every month. But in conversation with someone uh later on after that, something I thought about was because she was sharing with me someone in her family that was, you know, a beloved. But she was uh living in sin. And she was um the person I was talking to, and this family member, they were really having their relationship was not good because of it. And and what I told her was I said, Well, you know, that family member knows uh they're convicted of that sin. And and what I wrote down yesterday was anything that we do that's contrary to the spirit when we're a believer will cause friction in our soul because those things go against what the spirit, who the spirit is, right? Absolutely. And um, and I said, and I told her, I said, Well, you know, that person is probably experiencing that friction, and it's making them irritable, and it's making them not want to face what they know to be the truth.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Yes, yeah, that's so true. That is so true. Um, that's yeah, his spirit working within us to that that brings about that conviction, you know, and and causes us to make that right with him.

Becki 23:11

Yes. Um because when we do have the spirit, we have the Holy Spirit living in us, then we do have that conviction when we go against with the Spirit, who the Spirit is. And that's that's what we need. That's right, that's right to draw us back because it those things are drawing us away from the Lord. And the Holy Spirit convicting us will bring us back into uh walking with him.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

Right. And you know, one thing I think about Becky, um, and it kind of goes back to my trauma as a child, um, it's so easy for the enemy to use that kind of thing and say, well, this person was supposed to be a Christian, or he was um in the church, and um but that's opposite of how God can use that. Um I mean the enemy that's that's the enemy um of our soul that's trying to do that to make you think I'm not gonna be a go to church or have anything to do with that because there's people like that there, or you know, we're all broken. We're all we're all none of us are perfect. Um Christ is the only one who was able to be on this earth and and live a perfect life. But um in those situations, we see redemption, you know, we see how Christ used that to, as crazy as it sounds, help somebody else. Um bring somebody else closer to him. He used it in my life in a way that even though it's painful to think about at times, um I have a heart for people who have gone through something like that. And I want to encourage people, um, don't turn your back on the Lord. No matter what you go through, that's traumatic, it's not his fault. Um, he is there to help pick you up and bring you through that to the other side. And there is a reason for those stories. It's to help somebody else. God has a plan and a purpose in all of it. And his, you know, I think the scripture tells us in Jeremiah 29, 11, isn't it? The plans I have for you to prosper you and to harm you, not uh not to harm you for a hope in a future, and I may be botching that up really bad, and I probably am. But he has good plans for us and he wants good things for us, but it's not all a bed of roses.

Becki 26:01

Right. And for some people, when something like that happens, like they're through then. That's you know, they're they're through.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

It's an excuse, yeah.

Becki 26:11

Yeah, they use that to completely turn away from God. And and I was telling somebody the other day, you know, we can't blame God on the things that we do wrong as people, you know, even believers, because um, that's why we need to know God's word and know him. Right. Because we can't put that trust and faith in a person, we have to put it in him because he's the one that knows all, he's the one that's perfect, he's the one that we can trust.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Right. Right. And and as the scripture also says, he can take what was intended for bad and turn it good to good. And he does that. He takes some people talk about, you know, the beauty for ashes or ashes for beauty, whatever however that goes. Um the Lord can use the most horrible situation um and turn it to good, you know. Um we just put our faith and hope and trust in him and he will see us through and get us to the other side. But in doing that, for me, it's caused me to see him huge in a whole new light, and as my loving father and my healer and all those things, you know. I love Hebrew studies, and I think I've talked to you about that some. Um, and I I love uh when my girls were growing up every morning, I would we'd do our devotions before they went to school, and I made them learn the Hebrew names of God. And they were like, okay, mom. Anyway, um, but I love that, and I love knowing some of those things because for me it makes it per more personal. You know, I I don't know, that just really ministers to me. Um, knowing some of that, it makes makes it more intimate for me. And for some people it may not, but um my girls have occasionally mention that and say thank you because that they didn't forget it, you know, and it it just I don't know, it just like anything else, when you want to get to know somebody, you just continue to learn more and more about them. Yes. And although that is mental and that kind of thing, you know, we don't want it to just be head knowledge, but when it finds a place in our heart and sits there and you dwell on that as, you know, he's he is my provider, he is my healer, he is uh El Shaddai, my all-sufficient one, you know? Um, he is our rock. He is the God of knowledge, he is the one who never leaves us or forsakes us, you know.

Becki 29:04

Thank you for joining us today. New episodes release every Wednesday, so be sure to subscribe and get notified when a new episode is available. You can listen on the Journey to Salvation website, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts. So, where are you on your journey to salvation?