No Rank. No Title. Now What?

What happens when the rank comes off… and no one is telling you what to do anymore?

In this episode, Marc and Cole — retired Air Force First Sergeants — kick off Season 3 by redefining what leadership really looks like outside the uniform.

Because the truth is, a lot of us don’t fail after structure disappears…we drift.

Not from lack of ability — but from lack of direction.

This episode challenges you to take a hard look at where you’re relying on external pressure, and where it’s time to step into real self-leadership.

This is where Season 3 begins.

OperationNextChapter@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Oftentimes, we're just surviving. We're just trying to make it through the day. We're just kicking sand and kicking the rock down the road and trying to survive life. When we can thrive, it opens up so many different things. It's so different. And they've been there. You heard my story way back where I almost didn't survive. You know, I seriously contemplated and made all the plans to stop just surviving.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Welcome to Operate the Next Chapter. Remark and Cole, retired Air Force First Sergeant. And this season is about leadership without the uniform. Because eventually the rent comes off, the structure changes, and no one has given you orders anymore. So who are you when no one is telling you who to be? This season is about reclaiming your standards, your discipline, and your role as a leader at home, at work, and in your own life. The next chapter is an atom. It's built. Let's get to work. What's happening, Cole? How much man, what's going on? Season three is what's going on. Crazy. We're going to start season three. This is the first episode. We're kind of going from season two where talking about where we've been in our career as first sergeants, and then now season three, it's about who we're becoming. Life after the diamond, life after the uniform, applying some of those principles that we talked about in the last season and the stories that we shared, and how we can apply those lessons learned to life as a civilian, for lack of better words.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah. Where are we going? What are we doing? How are we getting there? The principles carry forth. The principles that we live by apply everywhere. No matter where you're at, no matter what you're doing, no matter what stage of life you're in, the principles that you live by or have lived by and that have been developed will carry forth.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Yeah, leadership without a uniform is different. No one's clapping for us, no one's putting us in for awards, no one's pinning medals on our chest. This is about us. This is about us writing our own chapter of life. The next thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Yeah. When nobody's nobody's praising you, do you still lead? When nobody's you know standing there at attention, are you still leading? How are you leading your family? How are you leading yourself? How are you leading your coworkers and and your communities? We've always been part of the community, right? But now we're really part of the community. You settle down, there's not a move looming. How are you involving yourself in your community? How are you leading your communities?

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Yeah, no one is coming to save us. Nope. No one is coming to write the blueprint for our life. We are in charge of that. And that's a little different from being in the military. That road map was always there in the background. We may not have known what the destination was, but we knew there was a destination. This now is on us, and for those that have separated, retired, or even those that are coming up on it, this is designed to help you look at life maybe from a little different perspective and being prepared for the unknown.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Perfect title for this episode. No rank, no title, now what? That now what is difficult. There's no AFI driving what you do. Yeah, there's laws that you know still steer us, but there's no AFI telling you how to do your job, telling you what's next, telling you step by step what you're doing. So now what? We had we don't have the title. I struggled with that. Honest, I still you still struggle with that. I still struggle with that. You know, every day is different, every day is a new challenge. Our identity is gone, so to speak. That uniform is gone. So those principles still live on, still take still carry us. They developed our character, and your character is will take you everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Yeah, or nowhere.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Or nowhere, yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Yeah. Our identity could be that of a veteran, it could be that of a father or a grandfather or a coach. You have the opportunity to write your next chapter. Make it what you want to be. We have a limited amount of time on this earth. How can you make the best out of your life, enjoy it, have quality of life, contentment, and still have some sort of purpose and direction that is going to lead us down that road. That's what I struggled with, and like you said, still do. And that's okay. Like, this is the stuff of life that is difficult for people. It's difficult to figure out our own path and be disciplined to go a direction and stick with it, or find a direction, and write your next chapter. These are the real conversations that I envisioned happening on this podcast, and people can relate and be like, man, I know exactly what they're saying. I feel that right now. And this is just an open conversation of our thoughts and how we can better serve ourselves to serve our families and community, like you mentioned. What's next?

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Yeah, where do you find your identity? Is it as a coach? Is it as a principal at a school? Is it as a husband? As a father, where do you find that? Can you have multiple identities? And how do they play together? I I know for me that was that was tough, right? I identified as as a first sergeant, I identified as an airman. Sadly, I didn't think about identifying as a husband and a father for a lot of years while I wore that uniform. Well, I took that uniform off, had to find my job in the civilian world and find my footing there. And my comfort zone is just exactly what I said. My identity is in my family, my identity is in my faith. And it's freeing. It's actually more enjoyable than it was wearing the uniform. When I can find my footing as a good husband, I can find my footing as a a good Christian, you know, going to church and serving, you know, the Lord and and everything else, and the praying and everything goes into that. And we'll switch, we'll put that one on the other side of the good husband. That makes me a good husband, makes me a better father, makes me a better person, just a better person. Does that mean it's not a struggle? No, it doesn't. Does that mean it doesn't take effort? No, it doesn't. It takes a lot of effort. The next chapter is pretty good. It isn't always there's paragraphs I want to delete.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

We have to create our own mission statement. Almost just like you know, the military had, and these every company has some sort of mission statement. Most of the time they're very vague, and any company could use the same one, like it's not detailed enough. We have to detail out our mission statement. What were you brought on this earth to do, to be, to accomplish? For me, I think it's as simple as helping people thrive in life. How can I use my experiences and my skills to help people either out of a situation and B into a better situation? Like that's what I believe I was on this earth for, and that's in a variety of ways. Right now, it's through this podcast talking about our successes and failures up to this point in our life. It's as a fitness coach, it's as a finance coach. It's even just help me people general relationship advice. And we kind of talked about that a couple episodes ago too. But that's what I believe I'm on this earth for. And there are plenty of career fields that could go around any one of those subjects. But how do you do it? That's for us to figure out. And I'm doing that in multiple ways almost every day. Leading with this podcast, I coach. We together, Tiffany and I have mentored people with their finances, getting their budgets ready, getting them out of debt, getting them out of living paycheck to paycheck. That's what we have found fulfillment and contentment and purpose.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

You mentioned two things in there. Number one, thriving. Oftentimes, we're just surviving. We're just trying to make it through the day. We're just kicking sand and kicking the rock down the road, trying to survive life. When we can thrive, it opens up so many different things. It's so different. And and I've been there. You heard my story way back where I almost didn't survive. You know, I seriously contemplated and made all the plans to stop just surviving. Turning that into thriving, what I'm doing now, what I truly feel like I'm doing now, it's just freedom. It's so freeing. The other thing you brought up, and probably the most important thing, is you're not doing it alone. It's you and Tiffany, right? We're wired to connect. Having that ride or die, or having that person in your life that shares the load, that helps you carry any burdens that may come, is another piece that I know for me and Jenny. That has my transition out of the military and the transition to reconnect with my family, with my wife, that being able to share that load has helped me thrive. Opening up to her about my just surviving, and she had no idea about my plan. She had no idea that I was thinking about internet. But having that other person there and being open and honest and working on that connection and working on that relationship is part of the thriving piece.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

And you made a choice to not go that direction. It might have been a weird way how it came about of stopping those footsteps, but you made a choice either way. Yeah. And you have a phenomenal wife and marriage that supported you before and after, but continues to help you, and just like my spouse, help us thrive after the uniform. And we're going at life together. We're usually finishing each other's sentences, and we have a thriving marriage. Our family, although we have adult kids and now we have grandkids, we're trying to provide and set the example for them on how life does not have to be hard, and life can be really, really good just by doing the very simple things in life, taking out the things we don't need. The essential stuff that we do need is not much. It's very simple. But unfortunately, in our society and culture, we make our lives way harder than it has to be. That's what we're trying to do as you know the leaders of our family.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Yeah, it's funny you the simple things, right? When we can take clutter out of our lives, our lives become more bountiful. And it's funny, I just I reread actually this last trip that I was just on. I listened to books uh and podcasts while I'm driving. I re-listen to Living with Seal. Um, and one of the things, and if you don't know, I encourage you to read it or to listen to it. It's hilarious. Um, Jesse Itler Itzler had David Goggins uh come and live with him for 30 days and train him. So it's a great book. But it's funny at the end, Jesse Itzler talks about how simple David Goggins lived. And both of them are Uber successful, uber you know, famous folks. But he talks about the fact that they would go out and they would go for a run or they would wherever they would go. David Goggins showed up at his house for a 30-day visit with a backpack. That's it, a backpack. And whenever they would go out and do things, the only thing he had was his ID and some cash. And Jesse Itzler, super successful, multiple homes and multiple states, you know, doing good things, has all of this stuff, and he talks about how much he envied David Goggins in that simple life. What life are you living? And is it the life that you want to be living?

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Or is it the life that you think you should be living because everybody else is?

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Yes. Yes. And that statement right there plays into so much. Do you have to drive the new car because your neighbor does? Do you have to go get the bigger house than than your your brother or your family member does? You know, what are we doing? What is it that makes you happy? What is it that brings you joy? And we talk about I'll talk about those two reasons, those two words. Happy something else brings you that happiness. True joy is with from within. What is it that brings you joy? Are you joyful? Are you sharing that joy? Do you need to cut things out of your life to bring more joy into your life?

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Usually less is more. More contentment. I read that book a couple years ago, and it is it's hilarious for one, but also it goes back to everything we've been talking about on this podcast in life in general. It's the essential stuff. We don't need a lot to thrive and be content in life. We just compare our lives to everybody else via social media.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

What do they have? I want that. I don't need that, but I want that. And that's a large problem in our consumer life. We are a consumption nation. We're buying stuff that we don't have that money for, we're buying stuff that we don't need. How do we get past that? How do we internally tell ourselves, I'm content with what I have? As a matter of fact, we're trying to get rid of stuff. We're trying to get less stuff in our house. Less clutter, less things to worry about. I mean, people walk in our house and they think it's like a model home for the builder because we just don't have a lot of stuff. But I tell you what, it is calm and peaceful. Peace. Yeah. Joy. Peace over payments.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Yeah. I'll take it a step further. Jenny and I are trying to get rid of everything. Everything. We've been downsizing and just like you and Tiffany have, you know, trying to get rid of that clutter. We are even. We talk about a simple life. Uh we're in the process of preparing our home to sell. Uh we have 10 acres out in the middle of wide open country with a a nice, a good size house, you know, a lot of things. All that's going to be gone. We're going to move into a camper. We're going to downsize all the way down into a travel trailer. It's a good size one, but it's not the size of our house. It's the size of the garage in our house. Nope, not even that big. But simplifying life. Because, you know, we've worked hard and we've owned all this stuff. And I say own, we're not paying for it, but we've owned all this stuff. And none of that brings us joy. What brings me joy in my life is is serving God, serving my wife, and serving my kids.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Yeah, and the freedom that comes with that. Yeah. From not having stuff own you.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Right? Like, I'm very thankful that I grew up in a house that we were not hoarders. We didn't have clutter enough stuff. Like, we had what we needed. So this came very natural to me, you know, as an adult and going into the military and being organized and having just the basic needs. So it's not hard for me. It's easy to talk about. And I get there's people out there that they don't know any different. That they know clutter, and that's what they were used to as a kid, or now as an adult. And sometimes I get it. Like that stuff brings you temporary happiness. And then that wears off. So then you will get more stuff. And then temporary happiness sets in again. Right? It's that dopamine hit. And then you look around and you're like, I can't see the floor in my house, or the walls, or the garage, I can't fit vehicles in. So for me, that's what's next is make your life as simple as possible when you're separating or transitioning out. The more you have, or the more you think you need, the more difficult it is to really concentrate on what's important after the uniform.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Life can be simple. It's still gonna take a lot of hard work, but it it can be simple. When you declutter your life, declutter your mind, declutter all the stuff, it might bring you more joy. The title of this episode: The No Rank, No Title, Now What. We're focusing on the now what. Who are you going to reconnect with? How can you simplify your life to possibly bring yourself some joy?

SPEAKER_01 17:55

I can tell you one thing. Don't do what everybody else is doing. Run the other way. Yeah. Because 80% of people or Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. They're stressed out, their marriage is in shambles, their finances are in shambles, their health is in shambles. They're all doing the same thing. Do what everybody is not doing. It's that simple. It's simple to say, it's not simple to do. It's a great thought, but you have to be intentional and think about why you want to do it. Do you want to get rid of all that stress in your life? You gotta do stuff that aren't people aren't doing.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

And we've been there.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

You know? We had two new cars in the driveway that we couldn't afford. We had, you know, I have a motorcycle habit. I had a new motorcycle in the garage, two of them, in fact, that I couldn't afford. We had all the toys that we couldn't afford. Um, our credit score did allow us to afford it, but when we start peeling the onion back, when we start getting to the core of what we really needed, had nothing to do with those things, had everything to do with the people that were in our lives and the happiness that those people brought us, the joy that those people brought us. What are you willing to do different? You've heard me say it multiple times. What are you willing to do different? If you're walking down this road and you're all these clutter and all this things are going through your head right now, what are you willing to change? You have the ability to change. You can't control life. You can live life, you can control your attitude and your effort going through life, but you can't control life. You can take that control back, you can take some of that that ability to steer life back by simplifying things and decluttering whatever that means, whether it's stuff, whether it's people, and let's be honest, it could be people in your life that you need to declutter. Right? We've all had those friends, and probably at times we have been those friends that that have drug people down.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

And we've talked about that in previous episodes. There's a season and a reason, and those seasons and reasons end, they come and go. It's ironic because people we come and go out of people's lives, and people come and go out of our lives, and like I said, that's a natural thing that happens. We're not meant to be with the same people or hang with the same people our entire life. We come and go for different reasons.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Yeah, it is a positive thing. For years in the uniform, we were told what to do. The now what that we're experiencing now is awesome. Can be awesome. Sometimes it's a struggle, but it can be awesome when we're intentional with what we do, when we're intentional with our routines, when we're intentional with the people that we keep in our lives, when we're intentional with the things that we keep in our lives. But you have to do that. Intentional with the job that you choose to do. I I told my kids over and over and over again, be productive members of society. Go out and do a job that you love doing, because then you never have a job. Jenny and I are very blessed. The two boys that we raise are doing just that. They're doing exactly what they want to do, and they're thriving. They learn from watching us drop the ball.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Yeah. If you can solve problems, you can be successful. Because that's pretty much what every business is predicated upon. They're solving a problem for us with a product or a service, and if you're really good at that, you're gonna have a really good job and hard to get rid of. But if you're just going up and taking up space, not really being productive, or not really solving a problem on your team, you might be finding a job after job. After job, and you know, going back to life after the diamond and the next chapter, that's what we're trying to explain is we have to find our own way. But a lot of the times we get caught up in our own mind and our own vision of seeing other people and want to do what they're doing and not knowing whether they're successful or not. But that's the comparison game we talked about a few minutes ago. Stop comparing yourself to other people and go write your own story.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Yeah. No one is coming to assign you your next mission. I'll say that again. No one is coming to assign you your next mission. It's your responsibility to find that mission. It's your responsibility to make the choice and seek your next mission. And it's your responsibility to complete that mission. Does that mean you have to succeed? No. Complete the mission. Find what makes you happy. Find what brings you joy.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

And it might be several missions.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

You might find a mission, go knock it out of the world, and guess what? You need another challenge. Cool. Go find it. Or maybe it just wasn't for you.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Yeah. Mark mentioned multiple missions, right? I still work full-time, so I have that mission. I'm a full-time husband. I have that mission. I have two kids that live in two different states, and I stay connected with them weekly, sometimes daily. I have that mission. Mark and I started this podcast. I have that mission. These are all things that bring me joy. These are all things that I want to do. Nobody assigned those to me. These are all things that I choose to do. And having that choice is scary, but having that choice is also very fulfilling. Just decide. Make the decision and go. As scary, as uncomfortable as everything it is, make that choice and go. No one is coming to assign your next mission. And I'll go a step further. I don't want anybody to come assign me a mission. I want to do it myself. That's a huge change from the way I used to be. I don't want that next mission being decided by somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Yeah, this is coming from two people who struggled with this. We're not saying this because we're experts, we're saying because we went through it. And I wouldn't say that I was waiting for somebody to sign it, but I just didn't know what to do. You are put on an island to figure it out, and options are endless, but that's the struggle too. It's like when you go to a restaurant and the menu is four chapters long, like the more options, the more difficult it is, right? I'd rather go to In N Out. You got six options or whatever it is. Like it's very limited. Like that's what I was looking for, and it I still never found that.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Right. It's funny you bring up the menu at a restaurant. I really like watching Kitchen Nightmare Show, and that's the first thing he does, man. He goes in and he cuts their menus, try and make their restaurants successful. But yeah, what are we doing? Why do we have so much clutter? Why do we have so much stuff? Is it because you want to keep up? Keep doing the same thing. Does that bring you joy? If the answer to that is I don't know, then maybe simplify. Maybe cut those things out.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

And I'd say this is where most of us get it wrong. We chase flashy instead of stable. The boring stuff is what leads to success. The flashy and complicated stuff just leads to stress. And then what happens? We probably give up and go find something else flashy to chase. But the more simple, boring things you do in life is gonna bring you the contentment. It's just not sexy.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Yeah, I'm totally content being boring. Because boring makes me comfortable. Boring brings me joy. Boring brings me closer to my my God, my wife, and my kids. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Yeah, I would say we live a very boring life if you were to compare us to everybody else. But on the flip side, we have a very content life, and we can do whatever we want. And that's more peaceful and powerful than you could possibly put words to.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Amen. That's it right there. Jenny and I have simplified our life, and it has brought us the most joy and contentment that we have ever had in our life. So what's next? That's for you to figure out. That's right. Where are you going? What are you doing? Who do you need to reconnect with? What do you need to rediscover? It's up to you.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Amen. On to the next one. We'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Oh yeah. Take care, brother. Hey, thanks for listening. If this episode challenged you, good. Leadership without the uniform isn't loud. It's daily. It's quiet. It's built into small decisions that no one else sees. This is your reminder to reclaim it. Reclaim your standards. Reclaim your discipline. Reclaim your responsibility at home, at work, and in your own life. No one is coming to assign your next mission. The next chapter is built by the person you choose to be tomorrow morning.