Purpose Without a Mission Statement

A lot of people are waiting for clarity before they move forward.

A perfect plan.
 A big moment.
 A clearly defined mission statement.

But purpose usually doesn’t show up that way.

In this episode, Marc and Cole talk about what it means to build purpose through action — not just ideas.

Because real purpose isn’t something you eventually find.

It’s something you create through responsibility, consistency, and the way you live day to day.

We get into:

•  Why many people feel stuck after structure disappears 
•  The danger of drifting without direction 
•  Focusing on “What’s Important Now” (WIN) 
•  Why purpose is built through small decisions 
•  How to stop overthinking and start moving 

This episode is a reminder that you don’t need to have your entire life figured out to move forward.

You just need to take ownership of what’s in front of you.

Because purpose isn’t always loud.

Sometimes it looks like showing up consistently, leading well, and handling today with intention.

OperationNextChapter@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Without a mission statement. We had no idea where this was going. And it has turned into this. It has turned into exactly what we talk about moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Yeah, what's important now? That's the question, right? If you're looking for purpose and you know what your purpose is. What's important right now in your life? That's your purpose. Welcome to Operate the Next Chapter. We're Mark Nicole, retired Air Force First Sergeant. And this season is about leadership without the uniform. Because eventually the rent comes off, the structure changes, and no one has given you orders anymore. So who are you when no one is telling you who to be? This season is about reclaiming your standards, your discipline, and your role as a leader at home, at work, and in your own life. The next chapter isn't a sign. It's built. Let's get to work. Mark, what's your purpose? It's a great question. And I think we all need to ask ourselves that. And I think we've talked about this before on previous episodes, once or twice or more than that. But I believe my purpose is helping people. Big umbrella, but helping people succeed in life or maybe get out of a situation and see a different perspective and how to capitalize on their skills and what they might be on this earth for. I think that's my my true calling is it and it sounds like a like I said, a large umbrella, but it literally is helping people. And you can take that a hundred different ways, but I've had to do some soul searching. And retiring seven years ago, almost seven years ago, it really required me to find that purpose in life because I've said it before. I didn't know what I wanted to do after the military. Like it was something that came natural to me. I was really good at it, retired on a high, and was successful. Then it was what's next? And that was a hard question to answer for myself. What's your purpose?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

I I think we're we're on the same track of helping people, but I'll go a step behind beyond that is to help myself. Learning that it's okay to help myself, you know, my job is to continue. I'm a I'm still a quote unquote first sergeant just in the civilian world as far as helping people, you know, get to care and everything else. But I have uh transitioned to that and still love doing that, still passionate about doing it and and still enjoy doing that. But what I find the greatest joy in now is helping myself, which ultimately helps my family. And again, that's difficult, right? It's difficult to get to this point because that transition, I had no idea what my purpose was. And and let's be honest, and I said I've I've gone beyond helping others to helping myself, my purpose continues to shift, it continues to move when I find new avenues, I find new ways, I find new things that bring joy into my life. And so I think that's another thing that that we have to do is we have to, you know, we have to be willing to adjust our adjust that. What brings you joy? What I do is what brings me joy, and how can I make that my purpose in life? I don't have a mission statement anymore, right? But I still have purpose. And I think that was difficult to see during that transition.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

When I was planning for this episode, I read this message and it said, we don't find purpose, we build it through daily action. And I think just based on both of our answers, that's what our purpose is, because we've built it up to this point from the previous positions that we had, specifically in the military and being a first sergeant, but also in the civilian careers that we've had as well. And so it makes a lot of sense why we both say, you know, helping people, but also helping ourselves, because like you, I'm constantly working on myself and doing things every day to be a better husband, father, grandfather, a healthier version of all those as well. And it naturally comes to help others want to do the same and achieve those successes, and finances too. All those things we're doing daily, and so you naturally want to help people at the things that you figured out, and that kind of becomes your purpose. Does that sound weird or no?

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Right? And and we've all struggled, we've all had things in our lives, and we've all lost our purpose, or felt like maybe we lost our purpose. Your purpose isn't defined on, and you hit it, you know, doing things personally, you know, consistently daily. I know that for me, my purpose I used to feel was defined by my uniform, defined by the mission of the Air Force, and it served me well. Transitioning out to where I mentioned I don't have a mission statement anymore. There's truth in that, but that's also a false statement because you know my mission is to help people. My mission is now to focus on helping people lead a better life.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Well, and we don't need a perfect mission statement. Yeah. We just need direction today. And today, our direction is recording episodes to fulfill our purpose and helping people. Amen. I mean, that's about as clear as you can get.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Right. Yeah, when when yeah, when this all started, we we had no idea what the purpose of this podcast was. We we had a vision of what maybe we wanted to be, but we didn't we didn't know. And and let's be honest, we're adjusting the purpose within this podcast all the time.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

And I can tell you one thing: doing this has actually self-help too, because it holds us, but I'll specifically talk about me. It holds me accountable to do the things that we talk about and do the things that we advise and have spoken about. It holds myself to a higher level and not just talk the talk, right? We what we say, we actually do. I don't want that to come out as being selfish, but it literally is. I learn something every time we record or have our discussions prior to turning the microphone on, right? I get a lesson in something that I didn't expect that day, but it just happens naturally through our conversation and discussing our last couple weeks or a couple days that we haven't, you know, interacted. That alone makes me want to fulfill this purpose even more of helping others because we're helping ourselves by doing this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

I I might argue, and I hope that every single one of our listeners gets something out of this. And I hope my hope is that it it does. It makes you think about maybe things even from just a different perspective, and and maybe it it helps you. But I can tell you selfishly, this helps a lot. This helps me. This helps me care for me, just like I said in the beginning, right? I want to help others, but I want to help me. And and you you hit the nail on the head, brother. This is this is talking through things and sharing stories and and bouncing ideas back and forth and and just having organic conversations. I hope our listeners, we've said it before, these are really organic. Yes, we have some notes, but these conversations don't follow our notes. These are just organic things happening. From the perspective of A, I care about Mark, I care about myself. B, I care about the connection that we have, I care about our families, both our families. And just just talking. My purpose shifts all the time. My core does not at this point, helping others to include myself. And that's where I think we get lost. I know I got lost in the rat race of life and and everything else, and floundering a little bit because I lost those pieces, I lost those connections, I lost those those people in my life that really meant something. Being able to do this and talk about it and and just be open about it with all of our listeners, it it speaks volumes. It means the world to me.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

This is free therapy. Yeah, for us and listeners. I mean, I've had really good feedback, and I know you have too, of our you know, former colleagues or whatnot, and you know, letting us know they enjoy it and can relate to what we're saying. Like you said, you got lost in the sauce. I think that's one of the things that happens to a lot of us is we're waiting for that clarity instead of just taking action. And we did that with this podcast. I was clear on what I kind of wanted to accomplish. I was not perfectly clear on how to do it. We just started doing it. But if we'd waited, overthought it and paralysis by analysis, then we'd still be talking about it. So yeah, I think that's exactly what you know you're getting at with this is man, this is something that we both needed, and we may not even known it.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yeah, I had no idea. You talked about it in an episode before. You know, if you have to continue to plan and plan and plan to make things fit, we may have never started this podcast. You weren't sure. This was your brain, child. You called me, we went to dinner. Yes. I don't know what it's gonna look like, but we're gonna do this. And it has paid dividends. Not monetarily wise, but it has paid dividends in life. The other thing is we get to come on here, we get to share, we get to talk, and everything else. We get to share lessons that we've learned, failures that we've had, successes that we've had, and everything else. And it's organic and it's it's genuine and it's building that connection, and it's strengthening our connection without a mission statement. We had no idea where this was going. And it has turned into this, it has turned into exactly what we talk about, moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Yeah, what's important now? Yeah. That that's the question, right? If you're looking for purpose and are you know what your purpose is, well, what's important right now in your life? That's your purpose. Maybe it's getting the next career, maybe it's getting your marriage back on track, maybe it's bettering your relationships with your kids. Maybe it's your finances, maybe it's your health. I don't know. Whatever what's important now answer is that's what you were getting at was it's constantly shifting. So our purpose is gonna change depending on what you need in your life at this moment. It's never gonna stay the same, and it shouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

No, it absolutely shouldn't. Should you have things that stay in focus? Yes. But your target has to change in order to grow. Your target has to move in order for you to get more honed in on what your purpose is right now, what's important right now. That moving target may open up something or uncover something that you you weren't sure about. This podcast being a thing. You know, I had been thinking, you know, maybe I want to get into something, maybe I want to do this. And here we are. You know, it uncovered something. What is important to you can be your mission statement, and what your mission statement can change because what's important to you should change. You know, you should keep your core values, you should keep your core things. But there's going to be things that come up that that need your need addressing, that need you, again, career changes. Maybe it's problems at work, maybe it whatever it is, right? The things that we make important will define your mission at that moment.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Yeah, and maybe you're about to transition or just transition from the military or retired, and you're trying to find the next career to pay the bills. That's your purpose right now. And then once you get that secured, maybe the purpose after that is reconnecting with your family. And that's what we mean by the purpose is going to change on what's important. And, you know, keeping a roof over your head is pretty important, and that requires dollars, and dollars are made from working. So that's how we're looking at this purpose now.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Daily focus, minute-to-minute focus, which for me is you know, I like shiny objects and squirrels. So being intentional with my daily focus, prioritizing what's important, prioritizing the things that I need to get done, planning out the things that I need to get done, but also being willing to scrap a plan when it needs to be scrapped. Moving forward, finding meaning in life. Finding meaning will oftentimes determine your direction that you're headed. Looking for those little things, celebrating those little successes, celebrating your monumental successes, celebrating others' successes. All of those things create that meaning in your life and it will give you direction.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah, you're exactly right. That consistency creates the identity and the meaning and the direction. Right? Doing those daily things leads up to the big wins, the big moments. And maybe a lot of us are just a little unclear. Maybe we need to prioritize what is what is needed right now. I think for a lot of us, people are just distracted. We're not lost. We're distracted by our phones or you know, the news. There's always things out there distracting us from what's important. We can do a lot, but we can't do everything. That's another thing. Like we're trying to do too much instead of focus on the big wheel. Those small wheels are cool, but maybe they're distracting us from what's actually important right now. One of my favorite phrases I used to say a lot was, not my problem. I have a plaque, actually, I have multiple plaques that you know I was given as a going-away gift, and those words were quoted because that came out of my mouth a lot. And at the time I was probably being a little sarcastic and a little bit truthful. But looking back, those words served me right. We get distracted by things that are not our problems. They're not in our lane, they're not our job to fix. If you really think about the things that we come across every day, most of it is not our problem. Very little of it is, if any at all. It's a trade-off. Right? What's important to you is not the same thing that's important to everybody else. Start minimizing things that we're taking in and trying to, you know, control or trying to change. Worry about the one you and the ones closest around you.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Those things that are not in our lane or not in our control consume the majority of our brain. Majority of my brain power. Majority of the work, oftentimes. If we can learn to turn that volume down on those things that are completely out of your control and let them not take up as much space, you might find that you're more productive. If you're not sure what's important now, sit down and think about that. Where where do you want to be in 10 years? Where do you want to be in five years? Heck, what do you want to be doing tomorrow? Set some goals for yourself. You know, do you want to continue to working until you're 65? Okay. Are you happy in the job that you're in? If the answer to that is no, are you willing to change jobs? If the answer to that is no, why? If you don't want to work till you're 65, if you want to retire early and enjoy life, are you doing the things that you need to do to set yourself up for that?

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Yeah, change direction. Yeah. Direction over perfection.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Yeah. What's important now? You know? What do you need to do to retire at 55 or 52 or or right now? What in your life makes you happy? What brings you joy? Do you have kids in college that you need to get through, which is why you're working, which is why it's prolonging? So set a goal. Once the kids are out of college or off the payroll, if you will, what are you doing right now to affect that date? Whatever that date is. Set a goal. Does that mean the goal is hot is etched in stone? No, it doesn't. But it does give you a focus, it does give you a target. Sometimes the targets have to move. I said it earlier. That's okay. But if you feel like you're just living, you're just existing, I should say. What are you doing to change that? And if you're not, if you're unhappy just existing and you want to start living, what are you doing to affect that change? What's important to you? What clutter can you cut out? You know, what are those things in your life that are keeping you distracted so that you just exist?

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Yeah, you know, you you talk about change and making that choice, and it's definitely a lot easier to say than do because our bodies and brains are really efficient. They were designed to be really efficient, and that's why change is hard because it creates discomfort, and our brains are designed to run efficiently as possible. Well, when we throw change at it, our brains gonna have to work a little harder. And that's why we don't change, Cole. Our brains are seeking the straight line as the crow flies, so so to speak, instead of having to take some turns and ups and downs, and it's easier to stay where we're at than go a different direction.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Yeah, take the path of least resistance. Sometimes the path of least resistance resistance ends up with the most resistance at the end of it because you didn't course correct. Change is hard. I've said it before, it's hard. Not changing can be harder. I encourage you to find what brings you joy and understanding that joy has got nothing to do with anything external. Joy is an internal feeling. Happiness is based on external things, right? But find what brings you joy, and to do that, you're gonna have to pause, you're gonna have to think, you're gonna have to get inside your own emotions and own head and really dig deep. You might just be more successful on the other side if you can do that. It takes work, it takes hard work oftentimes.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Yeah, and doing what's easy now makes it hard later.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Doing the hard work now makes life easier later. Again, you know, like we are just built in that society and culture where we want success without the hard work.

unknown 20:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Without having to change how you do life. You just want it to come to you. It's not gonna happen. And all the people that you see that you think is successful, maybe they are successful, well, they've done some hard work, and now maybe their life now is easier because of it.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Yeah. You you don't know the other side of the story.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Yeah. You just need to take the right next step.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

And that step has got to be something that you haven't done before.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Yeah. Arguably it may be the wrong next step, but it is a step.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah, true. Yeah, it's it's getting out of the monotony and the same thing that we do every day, and it's gonna feel uncomfortable because, well, it is. Yeah. But that's how we make change.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Yeah, and I know Jenny and I have have had this conversation a couple of times in life. You know, I feel like we're in a rut. And we were. What were we willing to do different to get out of that rut? Because we weren't happy in it, or we wouldn't have had the conversation about being stuck in a rut. It's okay. You know, it's okay to. To do self-reflection. It's okay to look back and think, you know what? I if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have done that. But maybe that is exactly what you needed to happen. Maybe that is exactly what you needed to do.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

Yeah, those fails brought you to this conclusion.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Yeah, if we haven't failed, then we're not going to change.

unknown 22:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

So true.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Right?

SPEAKER_00 22:26

So true. I didn't succeed and think, you know what, I really need to change life up. No. Never done that before. I have hit a brick wall and thought, you know what, this is great. And I kept doing it for a while and then finally came to the realization I should change. I should go a different direction.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

What are some takeaways? We can think about it. Ask yourself, what's important now? Right? I think that's a very easy, practical takeaway that we can all do it. And maybe sometimes that's just the single question we need to ask ourselves to get out of a rut. What's important now? Maybe the GSD list. We've talked about that. Prioritize two, three things that you need to do today. Or better yet, plan for tomorrow. Maybe today's already a loss. What are you gonna do tomorrow that's gonna change the direction of your life or potentially a career or your marriage or your finances or your fitness? Like, what are a couple things you can do? And then reflect. You know, I I've talked about journaling. Reflect on your day. What went right? What went wrong? What are you thankful for? What are you grateful for? Just changing your mindset can do wonders as well. And we can get out of the negativity that life projects. It's all over, it's all around us. But it's not as bad as what it's made out to be on social media or the news or you know, wherever you're at. You know, it can seem really bad close up, but when you really take that step back, life is pretty grand. We just have to recognize it.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

You you hit it, brother. Sitting down, what's important now, figuring it out. If today's a wash, look at tomorrow. Look at five years from now. What's it gonna take to get to five years from now? And then the biggest piece, you have to go make the change. You have to go put that plan into in effect. You have to take the steps necessary, you have to develop the mindset and actually do the action to make those things happen. You can't write it down and plan for it all you want and then sit back and just let the plan happen. You have to make the plan happen, you have to make life happen and make the change.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

It's funny you say that because I was really good at doing just that.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

I was really good at taking in information and advice, writing it down, making a plan, and then not taking action. And sitting here having this discussion spurred a couple thoughts that I need to do as soon as we're done recording.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Yeah, I was really good with the good idea, Fairy, right? Oh, that's a great idea. I'm gonna do that. And never do it.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Yeah, we got distracted by something.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Yeah. Being intentional with those things and actually putting things in motion. Once it's in motion, just keep it in motion. You can course correct, you can use the steering wheel and and move things around if you're moving forward. But when you're stuck and the brakes are set, you can turn that steering wheel all you want, and nothing is going to change.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Yeah, and going back an episode or two we're talking about success, it's really doing those things, the action of doing those things, that creates the fulfillment to reach that success moment, whatever that is for you. It's doing it. Like, that's when you feel really good. When I go to the gym, I feel really good. When I eat healthy, I feel really good. When our money is on par, I we feel really good. But we're doing things to get to that point. The thought of it might bring you happiness for a minute, and then it goes away, and you're like, well, I got nothing out of that because I didn't do anything.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Yeah, the thought of it feels really good in the moment. The action of it feels really good for a long time. Let's be honest, that's what sometimes that's the difficulty. You can't make change unless you're moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Yeah, pick a direction.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Yeah. And if it's the wrong direction, cool. Yeah. Course correct. Yeah. You know, go a different direction. But you have to go, you have to go a direction. And it's not easy. It can be, but it's not easy. I yeah, I just encourage everybody.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Well, if it was easy, you'd already be doing it.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Yes. Right. 100%. Yeah, you you'd already be there. You know, we'd have we'd have reached the finish line in life and we've achieved all of our successes, and we would be living high on the hog, and you know, and being in great spots. But we're not. We're not there yet. Are you still trying to get there? Like I said, that five, ten year goal. That's difficult. What's your goal for tomorrow that is going to fit into your goal for next week? That's going to fit into your goal for next month, that fits into your goal for next year. Are you doing them? Why not?

SPEAKER_01 27:42

It's funny you mentioned that because just yesterday, Tiffany said we're due for a dream meeting. We were doing these, I would say, you know, every couple months or whatnot, but it's been a while. I can't remember when the last time we had it. And I was like, yep, we have not done that. Let's do it. So we planned it. Sunday, dream meeting. For those long-term things.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

And when you have that meeting, the thought of the dream is going to be great. The action to get to the dream and make the dream a reality will be better.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Yeah, and that's the hard part. Doing it. Doing those things. Otherwise, it's just a dream. It's not going to come to fruition.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Grandiose thoughts are great. But those actions that make those thoughts reality are better.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

That's a good quote, bro. Love it.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

Oh yeah, bro. Hey, thanks for listening. If this episode challenged you, good. Leadership without the uniform isn't loud. It's daily. It's quiet. It's built in a small decision that no one else sees. This is your reminder to reclaim it. Reclaim your standards. Reclaim your discipline. Reclaim your responsibility at home, at work, and in your own life. No one is coming to assign your next mission. The next chapter is built by the person you choose to be tomorrow morning. We'll see you next week.