You Already Have the Answers

How often do we search for answers everywhere except within ourselves?

In this episode of Operation Next Chapter, Marc and Cole explore the idea that many of the answers we're looking for are already inside us—we've just been asking the wrong questions. Whether you're navigating a career transition, facing a difficult decision, rebuilding after a setback, or searching for greater purpose, clarity often comes from slowing down and looking inward rather than seeking endless advice and validation from others.

We discuss why so many people struggle to trust their own judgment, the difference between gathering information and gaining clarity, and how asking better questions can change the direction of your life. We also share personal experiences and lessons learned from leadership, military service, and life after the uniform.

If you've been feeling stuck, uncertain, or overwhelmed by conflicting opinions, this conversation is a reminder that wisdom isn't always something you need to find—sometimes it's something you need to uncover.

In this episode:

•  Why we constantly seek validation from others 
•  The difference between information and clarity 
•  How better questions lead to better decisions 
•  Learning to trust your intuition and experience 
•  Overcoming fear, doubt, and analysis paralysis 
•  Finding confidence in your next chapter 

The answers may not be as far away as you think.

Listen now and discover how asking the right questions can unlock the answers you've had all along.

OperationNextChapter@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Alright, we're back. New app, new method. We're geographically separated. I'm uh I'm excited to try this different.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Yeah. Only took 45 minutes to, you know, start recording, but maybe maybe we maybe we get there. Maybe this works.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Yeah, we'll definitely make it work. Um just took a minute to figure this new uh app out, but yeah, yeah. I think we're there now.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Yeah, since you're IT with your new business startup and you know, now a new app, I'm sure you'll get it.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Man, it has been a wild goose chase with all these different websites and businesses and compliance and regulations, and then we decide to change it up at the same time on the podcast. So yeah, I'm learning all kinds of stuff in the last couple weeks. Is it fun? I enjoy good challenge, I don't get upset about it, just it can be frustrating here and there. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Oh yeah, that's part of life, right? Working through those frustrations, working through those things.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Yeah, exactly. We had a chance to practice what we preach on here.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Yeah, yeah. You you're starting all that. I spent my first, well, I spent this week over in Florida starting a new new chapter, new job, and everything else. Like you said, putting practice in what we preach. And and it's good. It's good to uh I enjoy being a little bit uncomfortable, put you know, uncomfortable situation, new startup, new new things. Um because it does just that. It it allows me to figure it out. And you and Tiffany's business, you're figuring it out on the fly. This podcast and new recording and geographically separated, we're figuring it out on the fly. That's life.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

Yeah, yeah. And we can only improve from there. Gotta start somewhere, right? We like we talked about with JJ, but just taking that first step. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Yeah, no matter what that is, it doesn't have to be working out, doesn't have to be a diet, doesn't have to be anything. It's just life, and and that's the key. Move. Well, just move. And sometimes those moves are backwards or sideways or or whatever, but you continue to move and find that direction.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

So, yeah, kind of a new set of topics that we decided to talk about. And I think that the interview with JJ is a good segue into this one where we kind of talked about we already have the answers, and the knowledge is already within us, but we have to pull it out, or maybe even have somebody help us pull it out of us for whatever comes up in life that we were just talking about with all the changes going on in both of our lives. All the information is there, it's in us, and we just have to find a method to get it out to help us do what we're doing.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Yeah, that's that's the key thing, right? We oftentimes don't move or we don't do something because we don't think that we have the answers. And you know, you may not have the answer in your head, but you have the answer at your fingertips. You have the ability to find those answers, you have the ability to, you know, do the research. You know, sometimes that research is done on the fly, in the right now, while you're moving, that's okay. That's okay. It it just takes effort from you, and and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, right? Now, I I probably at the ripe age of 51 am not gonna go out and accomplish a goal of going and playing the NBA or you know, starting a professional sport, but I can certainly go out and work out, I can certainly go out and shoot a basketball, I can certainly go out and and do those things and and navigate through life. The answers are there.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Having realistic expectations, absolutely. Yeah, the information is there. We don't need more of it, we just need to dial into the information that we already have, or maybe seek advice from people that are doing what we want to do, or maybe they've already been through this portion of their life. But usually seeking out new information is just gonna complicate things and make our life harder, where we might just throw in the town that, you know, it's not worth it.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Been there. Right. Yeah. You know, we we talked about it, JJ talked about it a little bit, you know, last week. You know, the we we fail to we don't fail to plan. Today's in today's generation, today's world, we don't fail to plan. We fail to execute the plan and oftentimes get stuck in that having to have all of the information up front, all of the you know, everything that we have at our fingertips, but we have to have the perfect plan in place before we execute. Well, the perfect plan is never going to be in place, and therefore you're never gonna execute if that's what you continue to do. And I and I've been guilty of that. You know, I find a thousand different ways to do one job, and the job never gets done.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Yeah, a lot of times we're not looking for answers, we're looking for some validation. Yes, somebody to say, dude, that sounds like a great plan. Go do it. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And like you said, guilty 100%. I've been there, and I think the older and wiser and more mature we get, we start trusting ourselves more and not caring whether it's perfect or whether the plan's gonna go as we have it in our head. We're just doing it.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Yeah, I know for me that you hit the word caring, you know, and and again, part of that, and I'm not saying don't care about what you're doing, right? Don't care about, you know, whether you're gonna fail or succeed, but don't care what other people think about your plan and don't care about what their plan is, right? If you have something that needs to get done, then go do it. And the heck with everybody else, the naysayers, because there's going to be tons of naysayers in your life, no matter what you're doing, no matter where you're going, no matter what it is, there's going to be naysayers. You know, find those people that are going to kick you in the butt and get you going, that are going to support your plan, that are going to support you along the way. Sometimes that support, you know, is is offering some suggestions or you know, advice when we seek it. But the other piece of that is sometimes we just need a little bit of a cheerleader to say, hey, keep it up.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

What you're doing's working. Yeah. Why do we trust or listen to other people's opinions and advice and ignoring our own instincts or our own experiences?

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Dude, that's a great question. And if we had to answer that, then we probably wouldn't be talking about this stuff. You know, we tend to value what other people say about what we're doing or about how we're living or about you know situations in our life more than we value our own thoughts about what we're doing. If it makes you happy, and I'm not saying just do stuff to make you happy, but if it brings you joy and it's productive in your life, then go do it. And it might be tough. And that's that's great.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

You think it's our brain's way of protecting ourselves from failure?

SPEAKER_01 8:05

I I can see that, yeah. And let's be honest, nobody wants to fail. And so we get it in our head. So, yes, I would I would agree with that statement. You get it in your head that you can't fail, and so you just you listen to the outside noise, you listen to the that noise without any volume control, and then we get stuck. Well, is that not a failure?

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Are you asking me?

SPEAKER_01 8:31

I I mean, yes, you can answer that, or but you know what I'm saying? Not doing anything is as big of a failure as doing trying something and not succeeding.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Yeah. And I think we have to be super clear in our own mind of what our goal is and what we're trying to accomplish when we seek out some project or something that we've never done before. Like, what's the real reason we're doing it? And if you have that mental clarity, then you're gonna go to the end of the earth to make it happen. And that's kind of what both of us right now and our spouses are doing is something new, and we're rolling the dice, and we know we'll make it work and make it happen.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

No matter what that looks like. Right? No matter no matter what that sight picture looked like, trying new things is a good thing. Stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing. Stepping out of the norm and saying, you know what, this opportunity is in front of us. Let's take it. Will it work out? Who knows? Will it be a great decision? Who knows? But having that clarity in what you're doing and that determination to try new things is what life is all about.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

I think it's why people remain stuck because they lack that mental clarity and they have all the information, but they're just not clear on either A, how to start it or B how to make it happen. You know, the series of steps and a process to get to where you want to be. Like there's no just one step and you're there. There's multiple things that has to line up. The stars need to align, and it's up to us to align it.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Yeah, I was gonna say, what what are we willing to do to make it line up? What are we willing to do to ensure success? And again, success doesn't mean that everything goes great and you start making a million dollars and everything else. Is that success? Absolutely. But success is the little thing, success is the you know, the daily goals or the monthly goals or you know, the the quarterly goals that you set that you achieve. And if you don't achieve it, success can also be the turns in the road or the adjustments that you make in order to succeed on your next weekly goal or your next monthly goal. You know, stacking successes leads to ultimately succeeding in whatever that you know long-term goal is. You know, the uh Admiral, Admiral Mercury's, you know, make your bed. Start every day off by making your bed. How do you change the world? Start out by making the bed, making your bed. Making your bed is your first success. And at the end of the day, no matter how bad it has gone, you come back, your bed's made, you're climbing into a you're not climbing into a pile of sheets, you're climbing into a mate bed. And you can rest, get up the next day, start out the same way, stacking those successes throughout the day, stacking those successes throughout your life. And again, the success may be the willingness to change course and adjust on the fly in order to continue to move.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Yeah. Clear people take action, confuse people look for more information. Have you ever d delayed a decision because you wanted just one more opinion or one more piece of information?

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Yes. The yes, multiple times in life, you know, and and today's, like I said, information is at our fingertips. And that's great. The times that I have delayed, I have missed. You know, delayed on in it a purchase, a business, you know, starting a business or a business idea, or you know, whatever that is, waiting for that one last piece of information that would that would validate everything that I was thinking. Well, I didn't need that, but I missed the shot because I didn't take it because I was waiting for that that one last piece of information.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Or it could have been, you know, a little avoidance, a little fear to take that next step. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

And I think that fear is another word. Fear, you know, the fear of failure prevents prevents sometimes some of those successes. And fears fear is a really that's a tough emotion to get past.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Yeah, and I think once you get past that fear, that's probably the decision in our life where everything became easier and we stopped gathering information and started trusting ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Yeah, what are you afraid of? That's that's the that's a key piece for me when I'm making those decisions when I think about why haven't I started? What am I afraid of? And why am I afraid of that? What happened in my past? What what am I afraid of moving forward? You know, am I afraid that history is going to repeat itself? Well, it will if you sit there and let it.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Yeah, and think about this. What would you do if you weren't afraid? A lot. Yeah, I think a lot of people would do a lot more. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Are we afraid of what other people think? Why? What difference does it make? Or are you afraid of how it might affect other people? Okay, that's legit. But again, how is it affecting you and others when you just sit in the same mess and don't make the change and don't continue to move, continue to live life?

SPEAKER_00 14:34

What's the cost of staying where you're at? Yeah. It's probably a deep cost, right? Whatever you're stuck in, maybe it's a job that you despise and don't look forward to going to, maybe it's a relationship that you're in, maybe it's the state of your body and health, your finances, like I think we've said it. Staying there is actually more costly than taking a step in a different direction that you've never taken before to get the change that you want. Like you think that would be powerful enough to get out of a rut, yet there's still that fear of what if.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah. What if? You know, what if. How many how many times in your life has what if stopped you from doing something?

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Uh more times than you can count. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Yeah. Getting past the what if, getting past what other people think, getting past the the effect that it might have has slowed me down multiple times. It's you you mentioned it. We're we're a little older. We've been through a little bit of life, we've been through some challenges. These are things that I have learned to set aside and continue to walk forward, continue to move. And I said forward, I don't mean every step has got to be forward, but you do have to take the step. You do have to, you know, continue to move because sitting still hasn't done you any good.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Yeah, take action. I think it really comes down to are we seeking comfort or are we seeking change?

SPEAKER_01 16:18

And is where you're that, where you're at that comfortable that you just don't need to change, or is it that comfortable that you don't want to change? And are you happy there? Does what's going on in life, does where you're sitting in life, bring you joy? If the answer to that is not a resounding yes, then make the change, take the step.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Yeah, and you know, thinking about a couple things about trusting ourselves and trusting our decisions, and we've all been there, is we've failed before, we've been criticized, we've made mistakes, we've come become dependent on outside approval. So how do we get past those areas in our life to trust our own judgment again?

SPEAKER_01 17:12

That that's a difficult question to answer. You know, that's a that's a there's a lot of a lot of things to factor in when you're you know when you're when you're answering that question.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

I think we just have to start making decisions and learning from the outcome, good or bad, right? We have to seek wise counsel and not let uh that counsel dictate what we're gonna do or not do. You know, you gotta go to people that you trust and that are gonna give you honest feedback, and that just is another bullet for you to consider. Like, don't make it your yes or no whether you're gonna do something or not, but it's like, huh, I hadn't thought about that perspective, or I hadn't thought about that piece of this puzzle, but still make a decision based on seeking out advice, you know?

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Yeah, and I don't know about you, but I when I am facing something difficult, I like to go to people that I know are going to tell me all the reasons why I shouldn't do it. Because not that I'm seeking their approval and trying to convince them that I should, but oftentimes there's there's good conversation in that. There's things that you may not have thought about in those conversations, you know, and it's not that I just go to those people that are the naysayers, if you will, you know, but I do seek somebody out that typically is going to disagree with what I'm doing because I like to hear that perspective, because it may spark something that I didn't think about, you know. Um, and if if the realist, if you will, those brutal, honest people that are going to tell you what you don't want to hear because you need to hear it, not the ones that are just gonna pat you on the back and say, you know what, everything that you're doing is great. Because let's be honest, not everything that we're doing is great, not every idea is a great idea. So I like to go to those people, you know, that variety of folks. So, you know, there's some folks that are gonna be in your corner all the time, and then there's those other people that are that are gonna give you the honest answer. I like to hear the honest answer because it might they might bring something up that I hadn't thought about.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Yeah, and you know you have those people in your life where they're the cheerleader, and then you have those people in your life that are gonna give you their real thoughts. And not in a bad way, but they're gonna give you those things that maybe you hadn't thought about or real solid feedback. And so you have to know who to go to when you're seeking whatever it is. If you want a cheerleader, cool. Have those people cheer you on and tell you doing a good job and you did a good job. But if you really want a great piece of advice or a great answer to a question, the cheerleaders are probably not it.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Yeah, it's it's funny. I and this this doesn't come up all the time, but um, I have a a buddy of mine that was painting his house, repainting his house, and the timing couldn't have worked out much better. Literally couldn't have worked out much better. My in-laws were in town and we were driving, we were going to going to eat, going somewhere anyway. And my buddy called me and he had painted one wall and it was the exterior, so painted one wall of his house, and I just happened, we were all in the car and you know, driving up, literally just happened to be driving towards his house. So we we uh we made a detour, went, went by his house, and I was on still on the phone with him, and it was it was I'm not gonna say it was not a great color, because far be it from me to to tell anybody that the color you're gonna paint your house is the wrong color. I'm not the HOA police, but I I as I'm driving by, I I told him, I I said, Well, it's a perfect color if you want your house to look like a pumpkin threw up on it. And but it, you know, some my father-in-law gives me a hard time. He's like, I can't believe you said that to him. Well, that's exactly the that's the first thing that came to my mind. It was a bit orange, and it was not a great looking color. And I didn't figure it was the color he was going for, or he would not have called me and asked me the question. The reason he called me, he knew he was going to get an honest answer. He did not paint his house that color, he repainted that wall and and Change directions, but but those are the people that that was the advice that he was seeking. He wanted the honest answer, and I didn't do anything wrong, I gave it to him, and we're still friends today.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Yeah, and you know what? That's a good friend because he knew you, and he knows you're not a cheerleader. You're gonna give an honest opinion, and that's why he asked you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

And that's the exact answer that I would have wanted, right? I that's that's the answer that you know that I would have wanted. Hey, I don't know that this is the right color. What do you think? Well, looks terrible, but he already had those questions in his mind, you know, because he wasn't satisfied. Otherwise, he would have not stopped at painting one wall of the outside of his house. He would have continued to paint. So those are the people that I like to have in my life as well. Yes, I like a cheerleader. Yes, I like somebody who's going to cheer me on, and and I'm gonna do great things all the time. But I also want those people that are not going to be that, that are going to be the real answer people, and I can always go to them and they'll give me the answer that that I'm seeking without any sugar on top or anything else. Just give me the honest truth.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Yeah, if he wanted validation, he probably would have asked, you know, maybe a family member or somebody that he knows is always positive and would have said, Oh yeah, that that looks pretty good, and then walked away and been talking about it later behind his back, like that was horrible.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Yeah, yeah. Or come back once the whole house is painted and be like, dude, what did why did you paint your house this color?

SPEAKER_00 23:45

It looks funny that drew up. That's what they do. And we'll be walking down the sidewalk and we'll see people that have swapped out, say, their exterior lights, their light fixtures, right? And it doesn't go with the style of the house. It's either way too small or way too big. Like what was there looked. And I get why they want to change them because everybody has the same exterior light fixtures. But that would be a prime example to maybe ask somebody, hey, you're a interior designer, what do you think about this? And they're gonna be like, uh, yeah, that's not at all. Doesn't look good at all. But instead, you know, they trusted themselves and they went and bought it and installed it or had it installed, and we walked by and we're like, oh my, that doesn't look good at all. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they're not into exterior design.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Yeah. And you know, we we heart we talk about this, and obviously there was a lot of conversation with you guys starting a business, but the other piece to it is timing. You know, things happen in your life, and and you know, that's another piece that comes to mind when you when you talk about you know big decisions. Is it the right timing? Is this this are we at the right point in our life? You know, big financial decisions, starting your own business, you know, it and it may seem like everything just lined up and it's really not going to take that much quote unquote out-of-pocket cost to start, you know, all that stuff. But it really does. When you start adding to it, and the and and again, your time is valuable, you know, you factor all that into it, you know, the littlest things can end up costing us a lot of money in time or you know, a lot of time. And so when you're when you're starting these things up and you and you got you and Tiffany are starting this business, I'm sure that those conversations were had. And then it was like, you know what, we should just do it. Let's let's just go. You know, you mentioned before that you, you know, Tiffany has talked about it before and you know, everything else. It wasn't the right time then. Right now is the right time. Right now is where you you're exactly where you need to be, and exactly at the point in life that you should be, let's go do it.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

You're a hundred percent right. And as this is the next chapter of our life, we didn't need more information per se, but we needed a little bit of advice on how to start it. Like it wasn't a question of whether we were going to do it or not. It was, okay, what are some things we need to know? Because she already had the information. She had done the research, she knew what she wanted to do, uh, but she sought wise counsel from some friends that are already doing exactly what she wants to do. And so I guess that's what I was getting at is it took a little courage to do this and to get out of her comfort zone, or frankly, both of ours, and we have the wisdom and we have the the foundation to do it. We just needed to tell ourselves that and trust ourselves that you know, we got this. If if other people around the country can do this, we can do this. And that's really what it came down to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

And and when you're making those big life decisions, and not even big life decision, when you're making decisions, you're making life. Are you willing to trust yourself or are you looking to for the validation from others? Right? Are you going to allow the naysayers to stop you from succeeding, to stop you from progressing? And I know for myself, there's been times that I have done that. I've allowed other people's opinions which shouldn't have made a difference. You know, and it wasn't Jenny, so it wasn't my family, those closest to me, those that I trust. It was outside naysayers that have stopped my progress. And I have missed opportunities because I have allowed that. Trust yourself. You know, it's nice to have validation from others, but trust yourself.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Yeah, it's it's ironic. I was gonna say something similar to that. The question isn't whether we have the answers, the question is whether we're willing to listen to it.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Yes. You know, you don't have to have all the answers. You you just have to be open-minded and and willing to seek that.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

Yeah, we're searching for certainty, and certainty comes after taking action. You you can't be certain before you take the steps. No.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

No, and you have the power. We have the power. We don't give ourselves enough credit, oftentimes, which is why you get stuck in the noise, you get stuck in the naysayers, you get stuck where you're at, when you should have the confidence and trust yourself, trust your gut, trust your research, trust what you've done, and know that you can continue to move and not stay where you're at. Like I'm not staying in Arizona, I'm going to Florida. You know, is everything gonna work out there? Work out okay? I have no idea. I know my mindset going into it. I know the work that I'm willing to put into it, I know the work that I'm willing to do, both physically, mentally, all of it, right? I know that my that Jenny supports the decision. I know that we're in it together. That's all I need. You know, will it work out great? Who knows? I I I I don't know that. Do I, you know, am I hopeful? Am I, you know, looking forward to it? Yeah. I know also know my attitude that I'm taking into it. And attitude and effort gets you a long way. If it doesn't work, cool.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

We'll adjust fire and we'll continue. And it's funny you say that because as a friend and somebody looking from the outside in, like, I know it's gonna work because I know you guys, and I know even though you've had some trip-ups and fails in life, you guys will make it work and it'll be awesome, and you won't regret your decision.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yeah, and you know, it just goes back to to that, and I appreciate you saying that. You know, it it's it just is what it is, you know. Let's go. And and again, I have no problem course correcting. I have no problem admitting listening to others, you know, when when I trust those, listening to myself, listening to Jenny. Hey, where are we gonna go? Where do we go wrong? What do we do? You know what? You're right. Let's let's let's change this, let's make the adjustments, let's, let's, let's move forward, let's continue to step. And if we have to step back, to step sideways, to continue to go forward, then we'll do that too.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

Yeah, and if anything else, I think what you guys are gonna experience once you get there settled in into the new thing, and the same with us, once we get everything going, we're rolling, the question's gonna be why didn't we do this earlier? No doubt.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

No doubt. How many times have you asked that? Have you asked yourself that question? You know, why didn't I start this earlier? Why did I wait? And I'm not saying you regret any decisions, but why did I wait? Well, I'm not waiting anymore. We're just gonna go do it. No regrets.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

That's right. I don't know what you just said, but that's right. It was a movie line. Alright, brother, it was good to catch you up. Uh can't wait to hear this video or this audio recording and see how the new platform is gonna work for us, but we had to try it out. Again, this was one of those things we had no idea we were doing. We both got on here, and like you said, it took almost an hour to get this going. But you know what? 50-50 shot. Is it gonna work or it wasn't? And of course it worked. That's right. Just took some time. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Yeah. You know, and neither one of us got overly frustrated, and and here we are, so it's all good.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

Yeah, yeah. Cool, brother. Well, have a great weekend. We'll be in Texas next week, but we'll catch up after that.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Hurry up, brother. Travel safe. You guys have fun. See ya.