Why Following Someone Else's Life Is Keeping You Stuck

This episode is for the woman who has more than one saved reel about the perfect morning routine, how to set up your nightly routine for success, or following someone else's daily rhythm.

In this episode I share the patterns and emotions that get triggered trying to fit your life into someone else's blueprint, how to identify what it is triggering within you, and I share why I will never answer the question my clients ask me most and what I do instead.

You'll walk away knowing you didn't do anything wrong because someone else's routine didn't work for you. You will feel empowered to listen to yourself and find what does work.

Mentioned in this episode You're Not Stuck (free PDF) and Calibration Reset is here when you are ready.

Transcript

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I once paid really good money for a self-paced program taught by a multimillionaire. And this program was particular around her successful morning routine and the five things that need to happen every morning in order to sell set yourself up to become a multimillionaire. And within the opening of this program, she had said, like, this is the foundational work. This is what she teaches all of her one-on-one clients. And if you master this, everything from here is gonna flow and be so much easier. So bear with me because if you're like, I don't need another morning routine, Melissa, it's all good. It's not actually about morning routines, okay? This is more about the universal pattern of outsourcing your life to somebody who isn't you and trying to fit into their energetic blueprint and what works for them, right? It's about the way that you launch, the way that you rest, the way that you show up, the any area of your life where you are scrolling Instagram and you see, like, oh, my perfect morning routine, or this is what you need to be incorporating throughout your day, any of those moments that make you just pause and be like, oh shit, maybe I'm not living my life the right way. Okay, this episode is for you. So when I invested in that program, the successful morning routine, I showed up. I was so excited, right? It was like a two-hour training. I'm sitting there, I'm taking notes, I'm like fully immersed in it, and I'm like, okay, I am doing this. Tomorrow morning, I am waking up and I'm implementing this routine because this routine, apparently, everybody who follows it becomes a multimillionaire. Fuck yes, sign me up for that. And so the first day, I wake up in the morning, I go to implement the routine, supposed to be like one hour and blocked down into specific tasks to do over the course of that one hour. And that one hour turned into over three hours. I have animals. When I wake up in the morning, my animals are very excited that we are starting another day. And so it's not just like, oh, set your alarm 30 minutes earlier and you have that 30-minute time frame before anybody else wakes up. Like that might work if you have kids and you can quietly wake up by yourself. But if you have animals, you know the second your alarm goes off, they're like, holy shit, yes, new day, let's go, right? And if you do have kids, maybe you don't want to be waking up 30 minutes earlier to incorporate this new routine into your life. And so here's what I noticed is I implemented this routine for probably about three to four weeks. And over the course of that time, I noticed that I was extremely frustrated, that I had a lot of pressure that I was putting on myself because I wasn't able to always do this, you know, our routine for when I first woke up in the morning. So then I had all of these self-doubts start to come up that, but she was saying that this is what needs to happen to set up our mind, to set up our energy, to, you know, access our higher self and all of this stuff. So I had all of this self-doubt, frustration, irritation starting to surface. And I was like, this isn't working for me. And it's not working for me, not out of a lack of trying, because I'm sure you've seen amazing routines before, whether it's morning routines, the way people launch, the way people rest, whatever it is that they're doing, you're like, oh, that sounds so beautiful. I want to do that. And then you start doing it and you're like, wait a minute. No, I actually feel like shit doing this. I feel like I'm not doing it right. I feel like I'm not doing it enough. I feel like I'm not doing it properly. I feel like I haven't allotted enough time for this. I feel like, right, and finish that sentence. This shows up in so many people's lives and they don't realize it. The frustration, the irritation, it just almost becomes a part of their morning routine of waking up and being frustrated before the day even begins. And then they wonder why throughout the course of the day, everything that they're doing is just this compound feeling of frustration and the fact that time's running out and they still have more to do, and all of this other stuff that gets bunched up into this pattern. And so after about three or four weeks, I was like, no, like I feel like shit. I'm miserable, I'm not enjoying this. Why am I gonna do this? And so I stopped this successful what you have to do in the first hour of your day, these tasks and everything else. I stopped doing it and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna start paying attention to how I feel in the morning, where my energy actually goes in the morning, and how my energy shifts and evolves throughout the day, and how I feel as that happens. And so I actually started to track, I started to write things down. I really started to pay attention to myself, my own ebb and flow, and what worked for me, what wasn't working for me. Essentially, I was collecting information. I was collecting data on the way that my programs, my system operates. And I looked at all of that data, and I had such a profound realization that when I was listening to myself, not an influencer, not a multimillionaire, not some reel that popped up on Instagram or Facebook, when I genuinely listened to myself, the frustration and the pressure in the morning was gone. All of a sudden, my day was starting with a lot of presence, but also a lot of space. I wasn't trying to multitask and take care of my animals and move through this routine and do this and meal prep and all of these other things because I thought everything had to get done in a certain time frame. I let all of that go. And here's the thing. I've had clients in the past ask me, like, okay, so what do you do in the morning then? And I want to answer that for you listening right now. And here's the answer that I give them. Me sharing my morning routine doesn't serve you at all because we are different people, we have different energetic set points, we have different responsibilities, we are living a different life. I am me, you are you, and by me sharing my routine with you, it provides fuck all for you, in all honesty. It does. But here's the thing that I can do for you is I can help you see your own patterns and unlock what lives in your body and what will work for you. Your, essentially, your multimillionaire success morning routine. Nobody else can give that to you. That lives within you. I want you to go ahead and take a nice deep breath on that. How does that feel? Just take the permission that you don't need to be searching and Googling and watching other people's morning routines or how they're launching or how they're resting or how they structure their day because it doesn't serve you. You aren't them. You are creating your reality based off of your desires, how you want to show up, how you want to impact, the mission that you are here for. And so following somebody else doesn't make any sense. What does make sense is learning as much as you can about yourself and embracing yourself. Stop comparing your life to the way other people are showing up. Yes, it works for them because they have a different energetic blueprint than you. And that's beautiful because that means that you can find your own rhythm, your own routine, your own patterns within your day-to-day life that are going to serve you and get you to that level that you desire to elevate your life to. Elevate your bank account, your body, your relationships, whatever it is that you are currently aligning to. This month, that's the theme that we're going to be exploring. Is exploring your own rhythms, exploring motion versus forcing yourself into somebody else's blueprint. We're gonna get deeper into the other layers of this and how it shows up and how you can start to pivot and transform your own life. This is exactly why I created the free PDF. The link for that is in the show notes. It's called You Are Not Stuck. You're interrupting what you say you want. Go ahead and grab that now. If you already know that you are ready for a deeper layer than the free PDF, then I have the calibration reset and I will drop the link for that. It is there when you are ready for. All right, beautiful. I will see you very soon.