I Called It Intuition. It Was Anxiety.

You've felt it, that tingle mid-rest that sends you reaching for your phone. The sudden hit of inspiration that pulls you out of the movie, the dinner, the quiet Sunday. You called it flow. You called it a divine download. But what if it was just anxiety with amazing branding?

In this episode, I gets honest about the pattern I lived for years, taking action to avoid the feeling rather than change it. The one more thing spiral. The healing sessions, the strategy pivots, the constant movement that never actually moved anything. And the toxic positivity of spiritual language that made it all sound like alignment.

I talk about the real cost, not a dramatic breakdown, but a quiet absence. Never fully landed even when nothing was visibly wrong. And the pivot nobody glamourizes, the HPA axis crash that forced the stillness I never would have chosen, and what that enforced quiet finally taught me that years of doing more never could.

Plus the distinction that changes everything once your nervous system is quiet enough to feel it,  the difference between intuition and mind racing, and how you actually tell them apart in your body.

If you're in the loop right now, this episode is for you.

Ready to shift the nervous system pattern underneath it? You're Not Stuck, You're Interrupting What You Say You Want 

Transcript

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So there I am sitting on the couch next to my husband, and we're watching a movie. And it's one of those movies that it really draws you in. You know what I mean? Where it's like it kind of bounces all over the place, and you really need to pay attention to the fine details because those details are gonna come back later in the movie, and you just know that the way that the movie is designed. So there we are. We're watching the movie, and it's like I know that I should be paying more attention to what's happening, but there it is, right? I'm like in rest and relaxation time, but my mind is going in loops and cycles of like, I'm not where I should be. There's just one more step, there's one more thing that I need to add. Okay, what is that next thing? How can I create more content? How can I get more clients? How can I make more money? And it's that constant more cycle. So even though I'm physically sitting there watching a movie, my mind is racing with what can I do? And maybe you've experienced this before, where your mind just doesn't seem to be your best friend. Just constantly going. And all of a sudden, I felt this tingly sensation and an excitement start to take over. So I grab my phone and now I'm Googling. Instead of watching the movie, I'm sitting there on my phone Googling some stuff. And Andrew looks at me and asks, you know, like, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, I just had this amazing idea. I just I need to do this right now so that I don't forget about it. So here I am telling myself that I just had this great idea, this intuitive hit, this inspiration, this flow, this divine download that just came through, and I need to act on it right this moment. And I wonder if you've done that too. Grabbed your phone, mid-rest. When you're not at work, when you're not working on your business, in your business, at your job, whatever the case may be, but yet you have this idea come through, and all of a sudden you're like, oh, now I need to take action on this. And you call it productivity. I'm just being productive. You call it inspiration. But if you're being really honest with yourself, it's just your anxiety wearing a costume wrapped in positive language. That moment of inspiration, of that tingly sensation where I just had to Google it and get the answer right then and there and implement it into my strategy. No. It was my mind running an open loop of you're not where you should be, you're not enough, you need to do more. That's not it, that's not intuition, that's anxiety. And yet, I've done this myself, and I've seen a lot of my clients do this, where they'll take their anxiety or their programs of not enough, and they wrap it in such beautiful positive language. Oh, it's inspiration, it's flow, it's a divine download that just came through as to what I need to do. I'm so spiritual because I use this language. It's just beautiful language that's available to us, and it's convincing because it's so beautiful. But if we dig underneath that, it's toxic positivity and you're applying it to your own nervous system signals. It's not that you're necessarily bypassing, but you're not actually listening to what is running at the deeper level, and it works so well because you feel like you're creating momentum, you're moving, you're doing something, you're Googling something, you're adding in another strategy, more content, another coach, you're doing this, that, and the next thing. There's movement. But the problem is the movement is rarely in the quote unquote right direction. So, how do you know if you're moving in the right direction? How can you tell the difference? Is this intuition or is this anxiety dressed as intuition, and I'm using such beautiful language that I've convinced myself that 100% this is intuition when it's not? Intuition is calm. It can wait. There's never this urgency with intuition. It's trust within yourself. There's no gripping, there's no holding, there's no contraction when it's intuition. However, when it's your mind running these outdated programs and having these open loops, the mind racing creates urgency. You need to do it now. It creates restlessness. Oh, if I don't do this right now, then I'm gonna forget about it, and I need to Google right now, I need to go enroll in this right now, I need to do this right now. No. It can wait. But when the mind is racing, there's this slight frantic quality that's running underneath, and it might be dressing itself up as inspiration. You only learn to tell the difference once your nervous system actually gets quiet enough to feel the distinction in your body. And I know that you're probably wondering, okay, like, well, how? Because I'm an intuitive person. I think I know what my intuition feels like, so how can I be that? How can you say that it's, you know, not intuition coming through? I can feel the hackles going up a little bit here, so just stick with me. If you are stuck in the strategy, pivot, right? The I just need one more strategy, I just need one more piece of content, I just need to figure out this one more thing, I just need one more client to enroll, I just need one more healing session because I'm broke. There's something wrong with me. I need to fix myself, I need to fix my strategy. That's all movement. But the action is coming from the programming that there's something wrong with you, that you're looking to be saved, that you're looking for something external to help you pivot and expand into the person who you desire to be. The energy underneath the action is the problem more than the action. So nothing actually shifts. You're in motion, but your programs are still the exact same. Your frequency is still the exact same. You're just dressing it up with really pretty language. And here's the thing: when I was stuck in that loop, I was taking a shit ton of action. And I was taking that action to avoid the feeling, not to change it. I was trying to avoid the feeling that I wasn't enough. And so, okay, well, if I'm not enough by taking more action, that's gonna mean that I am enough. But that's never the case. And I think we all know that by now. But I wonder if you've done that as well. Where you've taken action to avoid the feeling, to avoid the program that you know is running underneath, even if you're not totally sure what the program is, instead of just going deeper into the layers and addressing it so that you can dissolve it, it's just faster sometimes, right? Or at least we think it's faster. It's not the case, but we think it's faster if we just move, just go around it. It's like having a big boulder in the way in your travels. And you're like, okay, well, I could take a couple minutes and get out and like problem solve and get this boulder out of the way so that my travels back down this road are gonna be so much faster. Or you're like, oh, you know what? It's gonna be faster if I just go around and I'll deal with it later. That's no big deal. I'll deal with it later. Well, my version of I'll deal with it later, ended up coming several years later. It wasn't this big dramatic blow-up or breakdown. It was just this quiet underlying thing that kind of happened. After years of obsessive looping, after years of looking at different strategies, different approaches, different ways of doing this, then the next thing, and more hustle and more grind, and my mind constantly fucking running, my body finally put a complete stop to that. So I'm not gonna go into the full story here, but basically my HPA access crashed. If you're not sure about the HPA access, you can always Google it. Basically, it's your hypothalamus pituitary adrenal access, and it has to do with primarily one of the main things is how our body produces cortisol, and my body pretty much stopped producing cortisol on me, which means that I was having a really hard time waking up and staying awake. So I was sleeping on average about like 16 to 18 hours a day, and when I was awake, it took everything in me to be awake. And I was so absolutely exhausted that even getting off the couch was exercise for me. Taking my dogs for a walk, I'd literally have to come home and sleep. If I got up to make food, I'd have to go lay down and sleep. Like it was bad. But the blessing under all of that is the fact that the looping stopped. I was so exhausted that my mind couldn't loop and tried to find more ways to do things. I didn't have the capacity to post. I didn't have the capacity to scroll or to plan or to go into like, oh, I need to heal, I need to do more. My body literally forced me to sleep and rest. Now I worked with people, I worked, you know, with some of the methodologies that I use. I worked with a naturopath, I found my way, I did my approach, I was able to fully heal my body, get my life back. But in that space, when I was sleeping that much, there was a huge period of loneliness because I didn't have the energy to socialize. I didn't have the energy some days to leave the house. And so I was by myself with the animals a lot. And in all honesty, it kind of sucked. It was tiring to be that tired all the time. It was tiring to be that secluded. But like I said, the blessing was in the fact that I was forced to address patterns that I at the time hadn't seen running. And that quiet, that helped reset my nervous system. Along with what I was doing for myself on top of that, my body, my mind, everything became very still. And in that space, I was finally able to breathe again. I was finally able to listen. And I was finally able to see that there is a huge difference between intuition and your mind racing, telling you that it's intuition. At one time, when I was teaching yoga, it was kind of a concept. It was something that I taught, but I hadn't fully lived it. And now I can say, in all honesty, I have fully lived the difference between intuition and mind racing. My intuition back when I was teaching yoga was strong. My intuition is like a hundred times better now. Now I'm not saying that you need to go crash yourself, that you need to go through that experience, okay? My deepest hope for you is that you don't know, like you do not have to go through that at all. That was not a fun experience, but it was an experience that I needed to have in order to reset my entire business and my entire life. Now, instead of my mind racing obsessively all the time throughout the day, now I have intentional days. And when I say intentional days, I don't allow the clock to run my day. I allow my standards and my intentions to run the day. So I have different tasks for different days. And on those days, again, I don't base it on a clock. I base it on intuition, on energy, on flow. But I will sit down, I will open a task, I will fully complete that task, and I will close it down and move on, and then I don't sit and obsess and think about it again. I'm not bleeding energy constantly, quietly in the background. I'm not half present anymore watching a movie. Well, my mind is racing. Now I'm fully present, I'm watching the movie. When I'm off, I am off. When I'm meditating, I am meditating. When I'm working out, I am so present in my body. That's what keeps the quiet intact. That's what allows the intuition to be next level loud, is when we stop the energetic bleeds that we don't always know are happening in the background. And that's how you actually start to get to design the life that you say you want before you are living that life. And again, that's another beautiful concept that a lot of people try to teach about the vision boards and manifesting and all of this. But it's like until you've actually embodied it and lived it, it's a beautiful concept. But now it's time to actually live it. And if you want to actually live it, it's about designing your life before the money flows in, before your rush of clients come in, before that next milestone that you say, right? A lot of people are creating their business from the standpoint of once I hit 10k months, then once I hit, you know, 20 clients a month, then once I hit this, then. And that is a completely ass backwards way of doing it, because then you're actually going to build something that you might end up resenting, that you might not fully enjoy. So we actually design the life first. And when you design the life first, you actually open the portals within yourself to allow that life to flow into you effortlessly instead of trying to contort yourself and force the universe into giving you something that you say that you want, but you're not fully open and ready to receive it yet. If this is landing for you and you want to actually feel the shift in your nervous system, seeing the patterns that are running underneath and thinking that you can like intellectualize yourself or whatever that saying would be, right? Like you think that you can outsmart whatever is going on within you. That's exactly why I work with the women that I work with. And that is exactly why I created you are not stuck. You're interrupting what you say you want, which is a free resource. I'll put the link for that in the show notes so that you can start to see the patterns. Because the thing about our patterns is we can't always see them when we're in them, right? Because we're actually living it, it's hard to see it. But now, what I do, because I see a lot of my own shit very quickly now when things do come up because of the experience, because of the embodiment that I've gone through. Now I completely pivoted and shifted my business and the way that I'm running it. And it feels so much better. There's no more list-long things of more that I need to do. Quite the opposite. I actually focus on how can I do less? And I know that sounds really fucked up, but it has been incredible. And by doing less, I've actually been able to receive more. And again, I know that's counterintuitive or counterproductive or whatever we want to say there, but it's not. It's because I've created the stillness, I've created the capacity, the container to hold more by doing less. And part of my doing less is the fact that I take an intentional week off every single month now. Where I don't open my laptop, I don't open social media, I literally, I really don't do anything. I just go and I live my life. I spend time with the animals. I'm very intentional about my days and how I'm refueling myself. And that's the whole point of this reality is you get to create the reality that you say that you want. Stop making it sometime in the future. Want this, then that. That's not how manifestation works. You actually get to design the life first, you get to do less, set the standards, open the container, and allow more to flow to you. You get to build a life and a business on purpose that fuels you. So go ahead. What are you gonna to what are you going to do right now to shift one little thing in your reality so that you start to build the life that you say that you want? You don't need a big dramatic breakdown. You don't need to have your HPA access crash on you. You don't need to have this dramatic story. You can just choose right now. And I don't think my story is dramatic at all. I think it was looking back absolutely divine that I got to go through that experience so that I could fully embody this and teach this and share this with the women that I work with and with you. All right, beautiful. Go down into the show notes, grab that free resource, implement it today, and I will talk to you very soon.