The Caring Death Doula
In a world that rushes past death and ignores grief, The Caring Death Doula stops to listen with tenderness, truth, and time. Whether you are grieving right now or here to learn how to help those grieving, join your host, Frances, a certified grief educator on the journey of finding connection, conversations, and comfort. Let's make grief and death a natural part of our conversations.
The Caring Death Doula
No Timeline in Grief
We share why grief has no timeline and how changing roles, endings, and losses can erase the map of your life. We offer a challenge to show up for others and become the presence we once needed.
• grief as lost roles, dreams, and deaths
• why support fades after ceremonies
• there is no timeline but your own
• how to redraw your life map with care
• being a buffer against pressure to move on
• simple ways to show up month after month
• replacing shame with compassion and presence
Grief is hard, but let’s not walk it alone. Let’s do this journey together. There is no timeline but your own.
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Thank you for joining me today. This is Frances the Caring Death Doolet, and I am so happy, so blessed, so honored that you have joined me, that you have taken time out of your busy schedule, and I thank you for that. We all know the truth of grief, that grief is hard. Today we're going to talk about that there is no timeline but your own. I can't say that enough. When a loved one dies, or when a part of your life ends, a relationship, a dream, a job, a role, it's as if the map for your life disappears. Doesn't it? You don't know where you are, where you are going, and sometimes you don't know who you are anymore. When you're a mother or a father, and you're raising that newborn, what's so different than the toddler? And then your child starts going to school, and then they become the teenager. And then all of a sudden, in all these changes, you're so wrapped up in them that they just happen without really you acknowledging them and being aware of them. And so you're just moving through life, you're moving through the flow. And then all of a sudden, you get to that age when they go away to college, or they move out to their own apartment, they get a job, or maybe they get married. And then all of a sudden, your role as mom or dad, perhaps even grandmother, grandfather, aunt, or uncle can change because they don't need you the same way. They have their life, and so you've got to navigate this. And that's where that feeling of your map disappearing hits you. You thought you were going to be in that relationship forever or until you died. And then it ends. A dream ends, a job ends. All these things are grief. They're hard, they're changers, they're a part of life. And no one is to tell you how to go through that. There is no timeline but your own on how you move through this, how you how you take the companion of grief and learn to live with it. Learn to adjust where you need to adjust. Relearn, rewrite, redraw that map for your life. I want you to know that even though you may feel like you're all alone, you know, when someone dies, we're there for the funeral, we're there for the visitation, we send flowers, or we maybe bring a meal. And then we go on with our life and they're left, right? And they feel all alone. But those changes in your life when a relationship ends, a job, a dream ends, a role changes, those aren't always acknowledged as grief. And so we really feel all alone. And that's what makes grief so hard is that you feel alone. And people are forcing you to grieve a certain way or to be on a timeline. And there is no timeline but your own. So my challenge, my question is can you be there for someone who's grieving today or this week or this month? Can you be the presence that you needed? Can you be the comforting words that you needed? Can you be there for that person a month after their loss, their change? Maybe you can help them to recreate, to redraw the map for their life by being a connection, a friend, a presence in their life? And that's what I want to challenge you. There is no timeline for grief, for change and loss in your life. There's no timeline but your own. But when you're ready, can you be there for the next person? Can you be there for someone who is grieving? Can you be the presence you needed? Because that's the only way we're going to change things. We don't need to feel alone. Because we've all gone through this. We all should be so compassionate because we know how it feels for all this grief and changes and loss in our lives. We know what it's like. So let's be the presence for someone else. I'm challenging you today. Grief is hard. It can leave you not knowing who you are anymore or where you're supposed to go. What do you do next? Grief is hard, but let's not walk it alone. Let's do this journey together. Let's help each other understand that there is no timeline. Maybe you can even be a buffer for someone who is grieving, and others are forcing them to get over it, to move on. So we don't want people to stuff their grief down. We don't want to ignore it, deny it. We don't want guilt and shame to be weighing us down. We don't want to carry that on with us. So let's be there for each other. Let's change the way we all view grief and death and loss and change. Let's be aware of it more. Let's help each other to be aware of it more. Let's be a presence for each other. This is the caring death, doula, and I am here for you.