A Hard Week of Grief

In this episode, we acknowledge a week where losses stacked up—canceled plans, a dream that slipped away, and a mentor relationship that ended. We share how grief lives in the body, why rest is needed, and how small choices protect energy while we find the next step.

• naming layered grief from canceled plans, lost dreams, and relationship endings
• validating physical sadness and emotional fatigue
• simple body-based tools for nervous system relief
• choosing texts over calls to conserve energy
• dropping guilt about productivity during grief
• understanding depression as a normal phase of grief
• respecting that grief has no timetable
• taking honest next steps without forced positivity

If this episode met you where you are at, share it with someone who needs gentleness today and leave a review to help others find these conversations. Your sharing helps build a space where grief is met with care and not a calendar. 

~ The Caring Death Doula

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Chapters

• 1:23 Welcome And Naming The Hard Week
• 1:52 When Multiple Losses Hit At Once
• 3:36 The Dream That Didn’t Materialize
• 4:36 Losing A Mentor Relationship
• 7:54 Letting Yourself Feel And Cope
• 10:40 Recognizing Depression As Part Of Grief

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:42

Thank you for joining me today. I want you to know that I'm here for you. That if you're grieving today, this week, if it's been hard, I'm glad. I'm glad you came. I'm glad you're here. Because I'll be honest with you, I just came out of a really, really hard week. Really hard. And it wasn't it wasn't that a memory of a loved one hit me out of the blue, like like it can happen, right? It was it was grief, sadness. I was really surprised at how sad I was, how sad I felt, how sad my body felt. Have you ever experienced that? It was grief from several things. It just they just all hit me. They all hit me in the same week. It was grief of having to cancel my trip to visit my grandbabies. It was grief from what I thought was a loss of a dream. You know, when you really want something and you can picture it, you can you can feel it, you can see it, you can, you're excited about it, and you just know it's gonna happen. You just you can see it. You can see the potential, you can see it doesn't matter what your dream is. I mean, our dreams can cover so much, right? Having a baby, that perfect job that you've dreamed about your whole life. Putting an offer in a house and it falls through, whatever, wanting to start a business, whatever your dream, maybe it was a relationship, and you thought he or she was the one. It doesn't matter what your dream is, but boy, when it doesn't happen, and the grief, it is so real. And then on top of my dream, and on top of my trip being canceled and my dream falling through, I also had the death of a relationship, the death of a relationship that I had with a mentor, someone who I loved dearly. We'd been working together for a year, and she had taught me so much, but then something shifted, and man, I struggled. I'm not so sure I got much done last week. I mean, I got some things done, obviously, but I did a lot of crying and thinking or just handling it. You know, there was there was conversations to have, those hard conversations, there was releasing of things. And so I just want you to know if you're having a hard week, if today's hard, let it. Cry it out, breathe, do you do whatever you've learned breathing exercises, shaking, you know, bouncing your body, a certain smell, a favorite drink, comfort, comfort food, comfort, you know, if you have a weighted blanket or even just wrapping a blanket around you, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself during this time. Because it's you can't just you can't just speak it away. You can't just say, okay, I'm done. I'm done. I've learned my lesson. I'm moving on. I'm done. I'm not gonna cry anymore. I'm not grieving, I'm not sad, I'm not gonna be depressed, I'm not. I was so amazed at how, and I realize having more than one grief in a week is heavy. It is heavy, but I was still, I don't know if surprised was the right word. But I really was surprised at how sad I felt. And then I got towards the end of the week and it was just so heavy. And there were so many decisions and so many, so many decisions on how to move forward in these different situations. You know, when when your your dream doesn't materialize, what do you do, right? And so I was really surprised at how sad. I mean, not just emotion-wise, but physically, I felt sad. My body was sad. I was sad, and then I was depressed. And I I couldn't, I couldn't believe it. I was like, wow, I'm depressed. I mean, it's just part of grief. And it may surprise us, it may come upon us, it may be there and we don't see it, and then all of a sudden you're aware of it and you're like, wow, okay, I'm this or I'm that. And it's all okay. Because I want you to know there's going to be strength coming out of it. I'm not gonna tell you to hang on, I'm not gonna tell you it gets better. Because it's still there, but you can become strong, you can take that first step, you can take the next step, you can pivot and do the next thing, you can continue to do what you need to do for yourself. I didn't worry last week about what I was getting done, what I wasn't getting done. I wasn't getting upset at myself, I wasn't blaming, I wasn't shaming, I wasn't guilting myself for what I wasn't getting done. I knew that I had to rest. Because grief is work. Grief wears you out, it tires you mentally, physically, emotionally, socially. You know, I had to cancel calls because I didn't have the energy for that conversation on that day. And I had the conversation in a different way through texting because that saved me some energy, because I had only enough energy to get up and rest. Does that make sense? Have you experienced this? Do you understand what I'm saying? Grief comes at us in so many different situations, in so many different ways. Grief is so much a part of our lives because our lives are change. And grief is hard work. Don't let anybody tell you that. Don't let anybody say, oh, well, that's nothing to grieve about. That's no big deal. Uh, you need to get over it. You've been grieving long enough. Okay, when I was in that grief last week, I had no idea. I had no idea how long I was going to be grieving. And yes, there were days when it was disheartening that I was still that sad, that I was still crying all the time. It was hard. And I want you to know that I know what you're going through right now. And I am so sorry that you are grieving, but no one can escape grief. No matter what they think, no matter what they do. Grief is part of this life journey. And I want you to know I'm here for you. And I'm so very thankful that you came. So very thankful. This is the caring death, doula, and I am here for you.